Coronavirus Death Thread

[Spikey M]

Yeah, you're probably right. I'm just bitter and have idiot fatigue from dealing with shit like people who won't give their baby vitamin K injections because they are anti-vaxx.

Alright, now you're really in the shit. My Mrs is Rhesus Negative, and for a week or so I had to stab her in the leg with a needle after the birth of our son. Do you know how many times she called me a cunt?

[randomlegend]

You should be pleased you married such an excellent judge of character.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Glorious.

[Foe]

Don’t like needles. Can I have it in tablet form to mix in with a yoghurt?

[Raoul Duke]

The only other alternative is a 10" suppository

[Spikey M]

And that's the initial half dose.

[Giggles]

That's just a weekend for Foe :henn0rz:

[Don]

What is there at the moment?

Mahow begging to be involved in some beef :happycry:

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/nov/23/oxford-covid-vaccine-hit-90-success-rate-thanks-to-dosing-error

Yeah, that'll reassure everyone of the processes and people behind this work.

[Magic]

Come on vaccinate the spastics and let us out again.

[Lofty]

Is there a correlation between anti-vaxxers and the plebs quoting the Magna Carta?

[Shindig]

Cases are coming down which is nice. Just in time for me to help the old folks move. :moop:

[Manc]

Throw yourself off a cliff and be done with it.

[Shindig]

I can't in good conscience travel to my nearest cliff.

[Lofty]

So now I am in the position where my mum is expecting me to come back for Christmas but my wife doesn't want to go because of all this. Going from one formerly tier 3 area to another :D

Cheers Boris you twat you could've took the decision out of my hands for me :moop:

[igor_balis]

Is there a correlation between anti-vaxxers and the plebs quoting the Magna Carta?

Hmmm? Just because i am a freeman of the land and respect the edicts of NATURAL LAW doesn't mean i should be subject to such abuse.

[niko_cee]

This is a positivist board for positivist people.

[Spikey M]

We used to get a tonne of Freeman of the land shit when I worked at the court (understandably). I remember telling one of them that there was a live warrant for his arrest and that he should surrender to his local police station.

"I do not consent to being arrested and I do not accept your authority to arrest me."

Yeah, that's what the handcuffs are for mate.

[Lewis]

I reckon the better bet is just some sort of in-built yellow resistance to certain conditions (not unlike their life expectancies). Every major epidemic ever has started in China, so why aren't they extinct?

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-03217-0

This will be the :evictory: to rule them all.

[Giggles]

Our fines are only in now. Fucking ridiculous how long it takes.


1331284990781480960

[Yevrah]

Anyone know who decides what tiers areas will be in? I want a draft pint.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christ I would napalm a primary school for a slow afternoon at a riverside pub.

[Shindig]

If the cases are coming down, you could probably sneak one in.

[Manc]

I'm moving within the fortnight to what undoubtedly will be a tier 3 area. Balls.

[Don]

608 deaths is a strong showing for Tally Tuesday but I don't think these second wave deaths are having the same effect as those in the first wave on the excess deaths data:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/deathsregisteredweeklyinenglandandwalesprovisional/weekending13november2020

Which leads one to conclude, open the fucking clubs.

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/1yejRjE.jpg

Me and my immunity passport bowling into the club.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/nov/24/russia-says-data-on-sputnik-covid-vaccine-shows-95-efficacy

We're saved, Russia's vaccine has a 95% efficacy.

I'm also sure it's all completely above board and perfectly safe.

[Lewis]

Death-related sciences are pretty much the only thing Russia is still very good at (why I thought Israel would crack it first), so I wouldn't write it off. That novichok muck they invented is amazing.

[Dquincy]

There are people in the middle, as you have been alluding to. As I said, I will get vaccinated. I trust the science. But the science has been wrong before and it isn't unreasonable to worry that it will be again. And that my kids could end up with cancer in 20 years time. Or be completely infertile. Who knows?

It will probably be fine just like the other vaccines have been (unless it really was the Polio vaccine that got HIV started lolol) but it really isn't unreasonable to worry about the health and the future of your family when it comes to things like this. It's pretty bloody natural.
I find it strange that people have concerns about the long term side effects of a vaccination, such as causing you cancer or some other ailment, but do not seem too fussed about all the other risks they are taking already in life. Such as smokers causing themselves cancer, heavy drinkers causing themselves liver disease, processed meat eaters causing themselves cancer...the list goes on.

Why have principles (or concerns) for one risk regarding your health, but not not be overly worried about other extg risks?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Death-related sciences are pretty much the only thing Russia is still very good at (why I thought Israel would crack it first), so I wouldn't write it off. That novichok muck they invented is amazing.

Still doesn't beat good old fashioned grit and determination as Rocky proved.

[Lewis]

Ivan Drago might have lost a boxing match, but at least his son wasn't a little fanny, so who really won?

[Lewis]

1331371828049276936

That's a great point. Absolute twat profession.

[Luca]

It’s a shame old mate is a bit of a mongo, because it’s truly the best BBQ in the city.

Pretty sure he donned everyone senseless btw, seeing as the police didn’t fine him. :D

[Queenslander]

Weak beard

[Luca]

It’s a shame old mate is a bit of a mongo, because it’s truly the best BBQ in the city.

Pretty sure he donned everyone senseless btw, seeing as the police didn’t fine him. :D

Oh, and the Premier of Ontario (think State Governor) has basically came out and said "I don't blame him" publicly. This not two weeks after said Premier handed off the responsibility over enforcing a lockdown (which we are now in, hence the protest) to cities.

[Giggles]

Should have torched the place.

[Spikey M]

I find it strange that people have concerns about the long term side effects of a vaccination, such as causing you cancer or some other ailment, but do not seem too fussed about all the other risks they are taking already in life. Such as smokers causing themselves cancer, heavy drinkers causing themselves liver disease, processed meat eaters causing themselves cancer...the list goes on.

Why have principles (or concerns) for one risk regarding your health, but not not be overly worried about other extg risks?

"If you eat sausages why do you look both ways before crossing the road?"

[Lofty]

I find it strange that people have concerns about the long term side effects of a vaccination, such as causing you cancer or some other ailment, but do not seem too fussed about all the other risks they are taking already in life. Such as smokers causing themselves cancer, heavy drinkers causing themselves liver disease, processed meat eaters causing themselves cancer...the list goes on.

Why have principles (or concerns) for one risk regarding your health, but not not be overly worried about other extg risks?

One of these things is less pleasant (or indeed addictive) than the others to be fair.

It's all about perceived risk vs perceived reward. Like when bored husbands assess whether a woman is attractive enough to be worth risking an affair, and by consequence a divorce for.

[Shindig]

Ivan Drago might have lost a boxing match, but at least his son wasn't a little fanny, so who really won?

Rocky did. He had several more fights. Drago was never seen or heard from again.

[Spikey M]

One of these things is less pleasant (or indeed addictive) than the others to be fair.

It's all about perceived risk vs perceived reward. Like when bored husbands assess whether a woman is attractive enough to be worth risking an affair, and by consequence a divorce for.

It's also the known vs the unknown. You know smoking might give you cancer, you don't know what liquid they want to inject you with is going to do (other than hopefully protect you from getting Covid).

The benefits far out weigh the risks, so I think most of us will crack on, but I do think it's natural to feel a bit apprehensive about it. The problems start when people feel apprehensive and then start "doing their research".

[niko_cee]

The same apprehension doesn't seem to attach to any other sort of medical treatment/intervention, so I can only conclude it's just one's inner mongo trying to escape. That and innate needle aversion.

It must be the same part of the brain that makes people terrified of household spiders but completely sanguine about staffordshire bull terriers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I hate staffies and will go out of my way to avoid them as they prowl parks. Would advocate having the whole species exterminated if it wasn't for 'Actually...' types telling me they're lovable little cuties really.

I'll compromise with a new law stipulating they are only made available to those with degrees from Russell Group universities.

[Spikey M]

The same apprehension doesn't seem to attach to any other sort of medical treatment/intervention, so I can only conclude it's just one's inner mongo trying to escape. That and innate needle aversion.

It must be the same part of the brain that makes people terrified of household spiders but completely sanguine about staffordshire bull terriers.

That's just people though. We all have our triggers, it's just important not to let them take over and have you making stupid decisions.

I have a friend who went full retard over Covid. Wouldn't see anyone, barely left the house (even after lockdown) and made his hands red raw with hand sanitiser. The same geezer was shagging a different girl every week pre-Covid, he never wore a condom and used to accept catching HIV as a worthwhile risk.

[Spikey M]

I hate staffies and will go out of my way to avoid them as they prowl parks. Would advocate having the whole species exterminated if it wasn't for 'Actually...' types telling me they're lovable little cuties really.

I'll compromise with a new law stipulating they are only made available to those with degrees from Russell Group universities.

They're a dangerous breed in the wrong hands, but I'd be more worried if the Blazing Squad mobs (that's definitely an out of date reference. Soz) started favouring Chihuahua's. Horrible little cunts.

[Don]

Some shlag was talking about having her mother over for Christmas and playing musical rooms by whacking her heating up and changing rooms every hour whilst airing the previous room. Asked if she considered masks, she replied 'well yes, but that is a bit extreme'.

I'm telling you now, none of humanity deserves to survive and I hope Covid-20 is fucking potent. But props to the dirty whities and their commitment to the lord and saviour JC. Govt literally had to bend over with their trousers down to accomodate them because weren't no rules or regulations gonna get in the way of a good ol' bit of meat and veg. And then they go off about the ethnics.

[Jimmy Floyd]

New tiers are out, or they were before the .gov website crashed.


We understand from the government postcode look-up tool that tier-three areas will include: Manchester, Hull, Newcastle, Nottingham, Birmingham, Wolverhampton and Kent.

Like a who's who of places not to visit.

[Spikey M]

I think I'm tier 2 but the website is fucked.

[Yevrah]

Tier 2. Mother fucker.

[Spikey M]

Alright, stop jabbering and get on with it

[SvN]

Tier 3, fucking shambles. We've got less than 50 cases in our area.

[SvN]

Here's a link to the view what tier you're in: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/full-list-of-local-restriction-tiers-by-area

[Yevrah]

I think it's only these in Tier 1:

Isle of Wight
Cornwall
Isles of Scilly

[Yevrah]

The tier 2 rules:

https://i.postimg.cc/rFsJdvjH/Envv21-IW8-AEo-0.jpg (https://postimg.cc/F7tc8C2b)

So unless we get a heatwave, in December, there is no real change from lockdown to tier 2. Tier 3 must basically be lockdown, or worse.

[Waffdon]

Manchester R rate - 0.8-2 - Tier 3
London R rate - 1.2-4 - Tier 2

Neville is fuming

[Yevrah]

I don't know why, tier 2 is shit as well.

[Yevrah]

They've basically just continued the lockdown and re-badged it. Even Norfolk is in Tier 2 FFS.

[Spikey M]

Managed to leave lockdown and go into a higher tier than we were in before it. Top work. :harold:

[Yevrah]

Managed to leave lockdown and go into a higher tier than we were in before it. Top work. :harold:

It might well be the right thing to do, but it's a massive con job as lockdown has not ended.

[Jimmy Floyd]

South East

Slough (remainder of Berkshire is in tier two)
Kent and Medway

Literally the worst places in the south east. It can't be a coincidence.

[Magic]

Imagine trying to open/close or forecast for your business in retail/hospitality now. :harold:

[Yevrah]

I genuinely don't understand what the point of the increase in last orders time was all about if you need to be eating a meal to have a pint. Who is doing that at 10PM?

[SvN]

I genuinely don't understand what the point of the increase in last orders time was all about if you need to be eating a meal to have a pint. Who is doing that at 10PM?

Are you suggesting that this is a badly thought out plan?

[Yevrah]

And I think once again I can spend all day in the pub on my own again if I want to, I just need to embrace morbid obesity this time to do it.

[Spikey M]

Or eat incredibly slowly.

[Yevrah]

Are you suggesting that this is a badly thought out plan?

Given the situation it probably is a good plan overall. I am however fucking livid that all the signals were pointing towards some form of normality returning and it hasn't. They lied basically. Again.

[Magic]

Christmas gatherings will be set at eight people over 12 years old in Scotland - and households should stay two metres apart indoors, according to new official guidance.

The rules for Scotland, published on Thursday morning, stated so-called "bubbles" will be capped at three households here.

People in the newly formed group are not allowed to shop together. :D

There should be no more than eight people, excluding children under 12 years old, in a bubble. One of the households can be classed as "extended", which includes a vulnerable person for care reasons. Children under the age of 12 do not count towards the total.

Bubbles can meet in a private home, including over night. They can also meet outdoors and in places of worship.

The Scottish Government says people should remain two metres from people outside a household as much as possible. In a house, this could prove difficult around a dining table or in front of the Christmas tree. :D

Avoid sharing cutlery or crockery "if possible". :D

Ventilation is important so the government recommends windows are open. Keep washing hands and surfaces. :D

Fucking hell.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Given the situation it probably is a good plan overall. I am however fucking livid that all the signals were pointing towards some form of normality returning and it hasn't. They lied basically. Again.

Were they fuck pointing towards that. It was clear everywhere was going to be in Tier 2 or 3 and the tiers would be stronger than before.

[Yevrah]

Would have really been easier to just say "stick granny in a cupboard".

[Yevrah]

Were they fuck pointing towards that. It was clear everywhere was going to be in Tier 2 or 3 and the tiers would be stronger than before.

Not that clear from what I was reading. I accept I was an idiot for having hope though as when this started I thought there was no way it was stopping in December.

[Baz]

Tier 2, represent.

Lovely of the government to needlessly promote us to make it look like that “mass testing” nonsense in Liverpool had a positive effect.

[Lewis]

TTH Meet on the Isle of Wight.

[Lofty]

Tier 3 :moop:

[Spikey M]

Tier 3 :moop:

:console: Me, Yev and Keeks will toast you over our 5th informal mixed grill of the day.

[Yeldoow]

The tier 2 rules:

https://i.postimg.cc/rFsJdvjH/Envv21-IW8-AEo-0.jpg (https://postimg.cc/F7tc8C2b)

So unless we get a heatwave, in December, there is no real change from lockdown to tier 2. Tier 3 must basically be lockdown, or worse.

Good to see you're permitted to stay overnight in your house.

[Don]

Can have 1000 people in a gaff to listen to a hate preacher but can't have 5 people in a pub to drink their pints.

Sharia law has won.

[Yevrah]

:console: Me, Yev and Keeks will toast you over our 5th informal mixed grill of the day.

Mmmm, mixed grill.

I genuinely think I'm getting fun withdrawl symptoms now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It would be a decent day out. Call it the Mr Creosote Challenge - can you legally stay in a pub from opening to closing time just by eating meal after meal after meal.

[Yevrah]

It would be a decent day out. Call it the Mr Creosote Challenge - can you legally stay in a pub from opening to closing time just by eating meal after meal after meal.

We're gonna be stuck with this shit until the weather turns so I might actually try it just to get out of the house. The broom can stay home and clean.

[Spikey M]

Mmmm, mixed grill.

I genuinely think I'm getting fun withdrawl symptoms now.

This really has been an absolutely terrible year. Nothing to do for half of it but even when not locked down you can't do anything that doesn't become hugely convoluted in the face of ever changing rules. I haven't been to the pub since 2019. I just can't be arsed with the agro.

[niko_cee]

Went to two pubs last night.

:smug:

[Manc]

I haven't been to the pub since 2019.

Have a word.

[Yevrah]

This really has been an absolutely terrible year. Nothing to do for half of it but even when not locked down you can't do anything that doesn't become hugely convoluted in the face of ever changing rules. I haven't been to the pub since 2019. I just can't be arsed with the agro.

Having been a fair bit over the summer, pubs while different were ok. Combine the weather with the gymnastics needed in adhering to a 'substantial meal' with your drink(s?) and I'm not sure it's worth the bother now either.

[Spikey M]

Have a word.

I mean, I didn't go that often anyway. A wife and 2 young kids render it the place I would most like to be, but, well, you know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Listening to people in the office discussing the new rules this afternoon, I've concluded that the rules are not the problem. The problem is that people WILL NOT READ the rules because they simply don't have the attention span to get through anything more than a four-word headline.

I've got my man calling for 'all or nothing' or else it's too confusing.

[Spikey M]

Just gone to war with my sister in law and caused a riot in the family WhatsApp. :drool:

Her current Christmas Bubble contains 6 households, including mine. I just very politely asked her how she came to decision that I would be willing to break the law and who the fuck she thinks she is to decide who is in our bubble without even speaking to us about it. Said bubble happily contains everyone her and her dippy husband would want to see but doesn't take anyone else into account.

It's gone down well.

[Don]

I had to quickly explain myself in the work group chat yday after I let slip that I was going round my parents' and got a 'stay safe x' reply. These people :D

What's the pub protocol, can I pick at my meal for 12 hours or is it that 2 hour max window bollocks again?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just gone to war with my sister in law and caused a riot in the family WhatsApp. :drool:

Her current Christmas Bubble contains 6 households, including mine. I just very politely asked her how she came to decision that I would be willing to break the law and who the fuck she thinks she is to decide who is in our bubble without even speaking to us about it. Said bubble happily contains everyone her and her dippy husband would want to see but doesn't take anyone else into account.

It's gone down well.

I hope you also told her that her Christmas bubble needs to be cut by 3 households.

[Kikó]

Literally the worst places in the south east. It can't be a coincidence.

Was genuinely planning to go to Whistable for the first weekend after lockdown and they completely fucked it for all of us.

I look forward to changing in a field as I play football and not being able to shower afterwards during winter.

Mixed grills all round.

[Spikey M]

I hope you also told her that her Christmas bubble needs to be cut by 3 households.

That's the law breaking part of the equation. She's trying to dance around it by saying the 6 house holds aren't mixing at the same time. Her family are the only ones that would be seeing each of the other 5 households but she'd have us all breaking the law by doing so.

In all honesty, I wouldn't really care that much, it's the principle of them making decisions on our behalf without even talking to us. It's just the latest in a long line of selfish and controlling bullshit.

[Yevrah]

That is also why the government had to introduce this Christmas bubble wank as people were clearly going to do it anyway and it would look like they have no control whatsoever as a result. Save face, kill granny.

[Magic]

Huge demand for Covid-19 tests at Dundee University has crashed the online booking system within a day of it going live.

Rapid tests have been made available from Monday whether students have symptoms or not.

I adore things like this. :D

[Giggles]

NI is locking down just as we open up. Infestation incoming :sick:

[Giggles]

1331919629380366336

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is also why the government had to introduce this Christmas bubble wank as people were clearly going to do it anyway and it would look like they have no control whatsoever as a result. Save face, kill granny.

At least she'll go out on a high.

[Shindig]

Not if she can't remember it.

[niko_cee]

Is L/Derry a genuine contraction or a way of skirting around committing to one 'side' or the other on the name of that place?

[John Arne]

Thailand has just announced that border will remain closed until at least May or June 2021 - and entries at that point will have had to have been vaccinated. Indonesia and Vietnam expected to follow suit.

[Queenslander]

Smart.

Qantas will only fly vaccinated passengers when the time comes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-55107473

Honestly have no idea where to start with any of this. 'Involve women in the decision-making process'? They must have seen the data stacking up that women are far more risk-averse than men.

[Giggles]

Is L/Derry a genuine contraction or a way of skirting around committing to one 'side' or the other on the name of that place?

The latter. You’ll also see Derry/Londonderry or Stroke City (from the / in L/Derry) used a lot. Mainly by people wanting to sell stuff as there’s no point in alienating half a customer base.

[Shindig]

Daily cases have dropped by a third from this time last week. Encouraging.

[mugbull]

Don 4 weeks now with 0 taste and smell. Lemme join your support group

[Don]

Most who recover will have recovered within 1 month I think so welcome to the gang. I think [without being able to access fb on my mum's phone] it's the one called 'Covid-19 Smell and Taste Loss'. You won't find any answers, merely comfort in seeing others' tales [and the occasional decent gash].

You had no improvement at all? I had a 10% burst at about 1 month in IIRC. The euphoria that comes along with it is incredible, saviour it.

[Yevrah]

Have you sought any medical advice for your predicament Don?

[Don]

No. Fairly confident doctors don't have an abswer for this yet so have held off until I hear of some progress on that front. I also struggle for phone signal in my flat (I have to go on my balcony to make calls outside of whatsapp) which doesn't help my motivation but I had been meaning to phone to arrange an MRI for my back so fuck it, will phone this week and keep the thread updated.

[Yevrah]

How common is this affliction at this point? They might be genuinely interested to see you.

[Spikey M]

Must be pretty common if 2 of our 5ish confirmed cases have it. Fuck me. Imagine Christmas with no taste buds.:boydy:

[mugbull]

Most who recover will have recovered within 1 month I think so welcome to the gang. I think [without being able to access fb on my mum's phone] it's the one called 'Covid-19 Smell and Taste Loss'. You won't find any answers, merely comfort in seeing others' tales [and the occasional decent gash].

You had no improvement at all? I had a 10% burst at about 1 month in IIRC. The euphoria that comes along with it is incredible, saviour it.

Last week i could sense a vague smell when i sprayed my cologne on my wrist and then put my wrist up to my nose, but can't even smell that anymore. Also can't taste anything, which i guess is part of parcel of the same issue.

Have you tried the essential oils sniffing thing? I'm gonna go buy some today but i can't imagine it'll do much because i already have a daily routine of sniffing cologne, Nutella, barbecue sauce and natto bean going

[Spikey M]

Covid really is mental. How the fuck does a respiratory illness make your toes itch, switch off your Olfactory system and age your heart by 10 years?

[Don]

14k members on the facebook group. It's global so not exactly significant but they've made enough noise and raised awareness about it enough for me to not feel like I need to bang the drum from some MK GP practice.

Yeah I was sniffing a heady combination of Tea Tree, Rosemary, EDT and Chilli sauce for first couple months.

They call it smell training but fuck off is it some sort of rehabilitation, its only use is to give yourself a yardstick for [lack of] progress.

[Magic]

Covid really is mental. How the fuck does a respiratory illness make your toes itch, switch off your Olfactory system and age your heart by 10 years?

Vascular, not respiratory.

[Foe]

Have you transitioned to eating either the cheapest rubbish you can (financial) or incredibly healthy (to become a super don)?

[Spikey M]

Vascular, not respiratory.

Severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2

[mugbull]

Have you transitioned to eating either the cheapest rubbish you can (financial) or incredibly healthy (to become a super don)?

I thought I would become a kale God but really the only effect it's had on my eating habits is crushing the nascent interest i had in cooking

[mugbull]

14k members on the facebook group. It's global so not exactly significant but they've made enough noise and raised awareness about it enough for me to not feel like I need to bang the drum from some MK GP practice.

Yeah I was sniffing a heady combination of Tea Tree, Rosemary, EDT and Chilli sauce for first couple months.

They call it smell training but fuck off is it some sort of rehabilitation, its only use is to give yourself a yardstick for [lack of] progress.

yeah i'll join. I know some people who are months in with very little smell, so it's definitely more commong than the single-digit percentage they're quoting for this stuff

[Baz]

Maybe Taz can finally come good on that Pube Sandwich bet, or whatever it was

[Don]

I delivered on that. Question all but my integrity, please.

[Don]

Great piece on BBC News just now covering a couple of Burnley-based priests breaking down retelling the story of hardships they've had to witness due to COVID. One of their subjects praising their work and reiterating how she would have been hopeless without them as she wraps her toothless gums around a 40p fag which equates to 1 solid meal of instant noodles.

[Spikey M]

This 'period poverty' shit is wearing more than a bit thin. Your period is costing you a quid a month, Mary. Maybe focus on the online bingo if you want to cut back.

[Lewis]

Health and care workers in Scotland are to be given a £500 payment as a "thank you" for their work during the pandemic, Nicola Sturgeon has said. She also urged Prime Minister Boris Johnson to use the UK government's powers to make sure the payments are tax-free.

A spokesperson from HM Treasury said: "The income tax on these payments is paid to Scotland, not Westminster - and the Scottish government has the powers and funding to gross up the payment if it wishes."

lol. Devolution means devolution, to coin a phrase.

[Spikey M]

The Welsh were giving this a go earlier. 'We don't know if we will allow the English in when their lockdown ends'. Ivor, mate, there's not exactly a queue forming.

[Lewis]

Speaking of which, their two week 'firebreak' seems to have worked out. Their rinky-dink 'parliaments' want pulling down after all of this.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/nov/30/pubs-and-cinemas-may-turn-away-people-not-covid-vaccinated-says-minister

#shuttheclubs

[Lewis]

How is that getting past any sort of discrimination law?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're well used to blowing all existing laws up on a whim after nine months of this, they won't be giving that up easily.

[Lewis]

Yeah but only things pertaining to trivial shite like earning a living and individual freedom. Good luck against equality legislation.

[John Arne]

We had our first case in almost 3 months yesterday.


A 32-year-old man in Ho Chi Minh City, a relative of a Vietnam Airlines flight attendant who tested positive on the weekend

Big Brother has already pounced and track and trace is being implemented on levels democracies could only dream of.

[Waffdon]

Ive got symptoms now and it’s like a comedown x10. Constant headache whilst my body is soaked in sweat but shivering. Feels like sunburn all over your body when I touch my arms etc

[Magic]

All that coke coming back to haunt you now biy. :drool:

[Giggles]

We had our first case in almost 3 months yesterday.



Big Brother has already pounced and track and trace is being implemented on levels democracies could only dream of.

:drool:

[Queenslander]

We just removed the hard border with NSW and Victoria.

The amount of photo ops on the news was sickening especially the Police taking photos with the public.

[Spikey M]

Lewis Hamilton has Covid. Is 2020 about to redeem its self?

[Shindig]

Alright, Bottas 4.0.

[Lofty]

I saw a news item suggesting Newcastle United are riddled with it but not much reaction?

[Shindig]

There's been reports, yes. 2 players and some staff members so far. Which players, I have no idea. It's also been (or is still going) through our academy ranks.

[Waffdon]

All that coke coming back to haunt you now biy. :drool:

I’m a good boy now at least. X

[SvN]

There's been reports, yes. 2 players and some staff members so far. Which players, I have no idea. It's also been (or is still going) through our academy ranks.

It's preventing me brining in Wilson on FPL. Any insider scoop?

[Baz]

Ive got symptoms now and it’s like a comedown x10. Constant headache whilst my body is soaked in sweat but shivering. Feels like sunburn all over your body when I touch my arms etc

Sounds like HIV.

[Shindig]

It's preventing me brining in Wilson on FPL. Any insider scoop?

Postponed. :D

[Lewis]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13348875/pubs-boris-menu-tiers-substantial-meal/

That's not a bad feed for the money. These landlords getting round the regulations should be on the honours list.

[Spikey M]

The pub nearest me is doing similar. Everything on the menu is £3 a go.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What this latest row has made me want to know is where you get the decent-looking scotch eggs seen in all these stock photos. All the ones I've ever had have been gristly trash.

[niko_cee]

Some clever fucker should cost it on the basis of whatever the government spends on feeding prisoners (or school children) and just have a massive Oliver Twist-esque cauldron of gruel on the go all the time.

[Spikey M]

Some clever fucker should cost it on the basis of whatever the government spends on feeding prisoners (or school children) and just have a massive Oliver Twist-esque cauldron of gruel on the go all the time.

I imagine the £3 beef stew would qualify as gruel, but I won't be investigating further.

[Spikey M]

Pfizer vaccine has been given approval. Expected to start 'rolling out' next week.

[Yevrah]

It's happening. :drool:

[Ian]

I assume that Matt Hancock's neighbours are top of the list.

[Raoul Duke]

The EU need to extract a digit and get me my jab. Can't believe they've been donned by Hatt Mancock :moop:

[Giggles]

Anyone who won't get one should get Mong tatooed across their foreheads and not be let in anywhere again.

[Spikey M]

My main concern is that they're going to press on with this 'once you're vaccinated you can do what you want' shit. So, I've written off a year of my like to keep Deirdre alive and now she's going to give it the big 'I'm off on holiday, stay safe guys' whilst we wait at the back of the queue? :moop:

[Shindig]

Chances are, Deirdre lives a boring life by default. And you can't really do what you want (but kinda can) if the restrictions are in place.

[Don]

Brav, if millions have to starve due to food shortages and a thousand lorries use Kent as a public lavatory, that's still fucking small fry if Brexit has meant we've managed to approve this cunting vaccine months before EU. Fucking well played, Nige.

Also, the immunity passports and what-not ain't happening. Keep calm and queue for the clubs :drool:

[Yevrah]

My main concern is that they're going to press on with this 'once you're vaccinated you can do what you want' shit. So, I've written off a year of my like to keep Deirdre alive and now she's going to give it the big 'I'm off on holiday, stay safe guys' whilst we wait at the back of the queue? :moop:

Just get it done privately and have it early doors.

[Spikey M]

Just get it done privately and have it early doors.

As long as the price is fair, that's the plan. Croatia in May / June needs to happen.

[Yevrah]

Oh it won't be fair. My best guess is a grand to beat Deirdrie to that sun lounger.

[Yevrah]

Brav, if millions have to starve due to food shortages and a thousand lorries use Kent as a public lavatory, that's still fucking small fry if Brexit has meant we've managed to approve this cunting vaccine months before EU. Fucking well played, Nige.

Also, the immunity passports and what-not ain't happening. Keep calm and queue for the clubs :drool:

Is it actually the case that no EU member state can approve the vaccine for use in their country prior to the EU doing it? It can't be, surely?

[Magic]

Getting vaccinated won't mean you don't have to wear a mask etc, as it doesn't affect the transmission it just means you won't get it (or are unlikely to get it).

So long story short, fuck getting vaccinated.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Getting vaccinated is completely about the transmission, because if a large proportion of the population is vaccinated then the thing can't spread.

[Magic]

Hmm, apparently it just reduces the severity of the disease, meaning you can still TRNSMT.

[Spikey M]

Full autism in effect right here.

[Magic]

Ironically you'll be a member of the club when you're vaccinated.

[Kikó]

Vaccines cause Autism!!!!

[Offshore Toon]

We'd be in the money if the vaccine gave us autism. Imagine a whole forum of autists taking on the FTSE.

[Magic]

Imagine?

[Spikey M]

1334065175050276866?s=19

There's no way stuff like this does anything but convince people the crazies may be right.

[niko_cee]

Anyone who won't get one should get Mong tatooed across their foreheads and not be let in anywhere again.

I don't know how they're doing it in the UK, but they've been briefing about how over here there is going to be some sort of clinical assessment (probably not the right word) before vaccination. Basically going over what can happen with vaccines, any bad experiences in the past or current medical conditions etc. I have a friend who's an anti-vax half-wit [to the extent that she only recently 'discovered', in her 30s, that butterflies come from caterpillars] who's mum is as bad as she is for believing shit. She's late 60s, has several chronic respiratory conditions (COPD being one I think), still smokes, nearly died of pneumonia last year, and is going to refuse the vaccination. What I would give to see the clinicians face when she tells them that.

[Waffdon]

Proper John Terry 2012 vibes with the UK government taking credit for the vaccine:lol:

[Spikey M]

:D

BoJo is putting his shin pads on as we speak.

[Waffdon]

1334031199535325185

The absolute state of him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:harold:

[Manc]

I back the energy. Stop being miserable cunts and join the Empire.

[Spikey M]

1334031199535325185

The absolute state of him.

That's... I don't even know what that is. It's beyond belief.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I'm injected I want the needle to be strapped to Nigel Farage's thrusting phallus. Let's make Britain Great again.

[Ian]

It's very Homer Simpson "I was the one who came up with the whole team idea" energy.

[Spikey M]

It would be bad enough if it was the Oxford one, but trying to take credit for the Pfizer one? Fucking hell.

[Ian]

You're not trying very hard to lead the charge against the disease here, Spikey.

[Spikey M]

The cavalry have stacked it. Bugles everywhere.

[Disco]

What, the crisps?

[Baz]

Never been prouder to be BRITISH. #proudboy

Fred Perry polo at the ready. Ah wait, can I borrow one Waffdon?

[Spikey M]

What, the crisps?

Only if the cavalry in question in Gary Lineker's Barmy Army.

[Shindig]

There's going to be like 20m people in the queue before they get to us, lads. As long as I can get into California in March on a negative test, I'll crack on.

[Waffdon]

Never been prouder to be BRITISH. #proudboy

Fred Perry polo at the ready. Ah wait, can I borrow one Waffdon?

:lol:

The best Polo Shirt without fail.

[randomlegend]

How is that getting past any sort of discrimination law?

Being anti-vax isn't a protected characteristic.

[Lewis]

It probably is under 'any religious or philosophical belief' unless it runs counter to some other characteristics. I was thinking more of establishing the principle that you could deprive people of services because they haven't had a particular medical treatment (especially when we have laws against compulsory vaccinations), or because they might be liable to infect people with something. Good luck leaving the house with a cold ever again.

[Spikey M]

People with HIV can face charges for having unprotected sex with people that are unaware.

[Lewis]

Can you turn them away from shops in case they fall over and bleed on your stock?

[Spikey M]

Can you turn them away from shops in case they fall over and bleed on your stock?

No. But they are prevented from giving blood and organs.

I was going to say that they're not allowed to get tattoos as my Gotcha moment but apparently not, (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-49740403) and if that's allowed, then you're right.

Fuck you Deirdre, get off my fucking sunbed. Equality Act 2010 LOVE.

[Queenslander]

It probably is under 'any religious or philosophical belief' unless it runs counter to some other characteristics. I was thinking more of establishing the principle that you could deprive people of services because they haven't had a particular medical treatment (especially when we have laws against compulsory vaccinations), or because they might be liable to infect people with something. Good luck leaving the house with a cold ever again.

Down here Parents who dont jab their kids forfeit benefits and their kids cant attend child care.

No jab no pay and no jab no play. :cool:

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-55161923

Let's all laugh at Offy. :lol:

[randomlegend]

No. But they are prevented from giving blood and organs.

I was going to say that they're not allowed to get tattoos as my Gotcha moment but apparently not, (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-49740403) and if that's allowed, then you're right.

Fuck you Deirdre, get off my fucking sunbed. Equality Act 2010 LOVE.

HIV is massively less transmissible, probably somewhere in the order of hundreds of times less.

[Spikey M]

HIV is massively less transmissible, probably somewhere in the order of hundreds of times less.

Dierdre is not getting that sunbed before me Doc. Stop it.

[randomlegend]

I'll send you both a post-card.

[Spikey M]

Not if I send Coughshore Toon round to see you first.

[Baz]

HIV is massively less transmissible, probably somewhere in the order of hundreds of times less.

Pep and Prep are mind blowingly good.

[Offshore Toon]

Not if I send Coughshore Toon round to see you first.
Give it a rest, COVIDiotmouse.

[Spikey M]

:D

[Kikó]

Confirmed by Jacob Rees Mogg that Father Christmas will be allowed to visit the UK.

[Spikey M]

I fucking hate Rees-Mogg and his dickhead Victorian children.

[mugbull]

Haven’t been in the US since August, but their recent numbers look insane

[Waffdon]

Lost my taste and smell now. Only realised when half way through Salt and Vinegar Pringles that I was tasting the air. Cold sweats and the comedown lasted about four hours after my post earlier in the week and have been normal since.

How’s it work with isolation? Ours was up on Monday and everyone else had all their symptoms last week and have been fine all this week. Surely if I went and got a test we wouldn’t need to isolate for another 14 days? A need a haircut

[Raoul Duke]

You need to isolate past once your symptoms have stopped. The length depends on whatever your local rules are.

[Waffdon]

Not really arsed about me as I work from home anyway. Will everyone else have to isolate again who is in the household?

[Magic]

Just shut your puss and get on it.

[Waffdon]

Just shut your puss and get on it.

I’m a new man. Buying a flat in the early new year. Crazy how rich lockdown and no drugs makes you.

[Magic]

That's actually more reckless.

[Offshore Toon]

It'll work out better as now you can host the after parties and get free lines.

[Spikey M]

Imagine living in Scotland and only being able to afford a flat.

[Don]

Look at the fucking destruction it's all led to. Top lads becoming househusbands whilst wanking over their credit rating :face:

[Waffdon]

Imagine living in Scotland and only being able to afford a flat.

I’ll get a house in a few years. Baby steps. If all else fails her parents will buy us one. Heh.

[Waffdon]

Look at the fucking destruction it's all led to. Top lads becoming househusbands whilst wanking over their credit rating :face:

16-23 was a rollercoaster. I don’t need anymore stomach pumps and depression episodes. Life is good when you have a hot tub x

[hfswjyr]

For those who have lost their sense of taste/smell - can you handle spice now?

[Spikey M]

Are you implying that the people losing their sense of taste were Chicken Korma Wankers before Covid turned up?

[Raoul Duke]

For those who have lost their sense of taste/smell - can you handle spice now?

Could before and can now. Nothing really changed.

[niko_cee]

I assume loss of sensitivity doesn't happen at both ends, which is what you really need re: the spice issue.

[mugbull]

For those who have lost their sense of taste/smell - can you handle spice now?

Always been a mega spice lover, but now its necessary more than ever as it's basically the only i way i can get sensation into my mouth. I'm putting ghost pepper chili flakes on pretty much everything now, including things it really doesn't belong on

[Spikey M]

Let's not make assumptions. Taz, has your arsehole lost it's sense of taste?

[Magic]

@igor

[Ian]

Excited to learn that businessmen can't get the virus.

More vaccine for the rest of. :cool:

[Kikó]

Are you implying that the people losing their sense of taste were Chicken Korma Wankers before Covid turned up?

Taz blatantly is.

[Don]

I dealt with shit spicier than Kiko like it wasn't a thing before all this so can't comment on if it's led to an improvement as I was elite already.

Did find these in Lidl after a year-long search and bulk bought through the excitement only to realise the covid tastebuds have turned them into a disgusting bitter flavour.

https://i.redd.it/1xnnnj9hgmg21.jpg

[Spikey M]

My man can't even smell the vinegar fragrance of his taint.

[Don]

Tis the little things in life :cry:

[Jimmy Floyd]

What will be the point of opening the clubs if you can't smell the sweat/Red Bull mixer combination that makes them such an alluring prospect?

[Don]

In order for one to really hit the true highs on the dancefloor, it's about tuning everything external out and delving deep into the mind. Don't ask why you need the club for that if you can just do that in your living room, big titty bishes help.

[Kikó]

I suppose dropping an E in your house is a bit sad.

[Magic]

All about the ket now mate it's no the 90s.

[Kikó]

Depends which circle or night you're trying to have. It's definitely not about MDMA anymore.

[Don]

Lads, we're not 12 any more. Drugs are there for the uninitiated.

[Kikó]

Hark at you with your bacardi breezers.

[Don]

I'm trying to understand just how irresponsible I would be if I was to reject the juicy vax.

I get that we all have a duty and responsibility (much like paying taxes) to take it as we build towards herd immunity.

But if we were to get to that golden land, would it mean I pose no risk, even if the vax is only 90% effective?

I don't wish to be morally grouped in with tax-dodgers so these answers need to be sought.

[Magic]

Just don't vax, unless they make you go around with a big sign saying you're not allowed in places then who cares?

EDIT: Obviously tell people you've had the vax, including but not limited to multiple Facebook statuses, for maximum virtue-signalling purposes.

[randomlegend]

All about the ket now mate it's no the 90s.

No wonder you pissed yourself in an airport.

[Magic]

You won't be able to piss at all soon, vaccine boy.

[randomlegend]

I'm trying to understand just how irresponsible I would be if I was to reject the juicy vax.

I get that we all have a duty and responsibility (much like paying taxes) to take it as we build towards herd immunity.

But if we were to get to that golden land, would it mean I pose no risk, even if the vax is only 90% effective?

I don't wish to be morally grouped in with tax-dodgers so these answers need to be sought.


Just don't vax, unless they make you go around with a big sign saying you're not allowed in places then who cares?

EDIT: Obviously tell people you've had the vax, including but not limited to multiple Facebook statuses, for maximum virtue-signalling purposes.

You two will have no trouble with the vaccine. The scare-mongering about "altering DNA" is complete nonsense, and even if it weren't you've both got chromosomes to spare.

[Boydy]

:lol:

[Spikey M]

:D

[phonics]

Murdered by a doctor. The irony.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's glorious.

[John Arne]

Crewe captain Perry Ng banned for 6 games for spitting at an opponent last weekend. Idiot.

[Boydy]

Has anyone been for an eye test in the time of Corona?

I've started getting headaches recently (and I'm due another test anyway) so figure I probably need a stronger prescription. Been putting it off because I'm not keen on going into a small enclosed room and sticking my face on something that god knows how many other people have but the headaches are becoming too frequent and I have to stare at a screen all day for work.

Specsavers say they're doing loads of cleaning and shit but the times of their appointments online (specifically the small gaps between them) doesn't fill me with confidence.

[Spikey M]

My Mrs had one last month. It was a one in one out deal.

[Giggles]

Same as that. One of the legs of mine is broken and I have parcel tape holding it together but fucked if I’m going anywhere near one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went and had one in like March before it all went really bad.

I use a small independent one though so they have a lot fewer clients and I knew they'd be all over cleaning everything (which they were).

[Boydy]

I booked a slot for Specsavers tomorrow morning at 9am. That's when they open so at least there won't have been anyone in before me, right?

Just hope they clean well at the end of the day.

At least if I go tomorrow there should be enough time to isolate before Christmas.

[Baz]

Same as that. One of the legs of mine is broken and I have parcel tape holding it together but fucked if I’m going anywhere near one.

Legs :D

[Giggles]

No idea what they’re called.

[Baz]

Well I suppose you weren’t far off, cos some people call them arms, but they’re literally just the sides.

[Giggles]

The ear bits.

I need to go there and the dentist as soon as I get the jab.

[Boydy]

I'd call them legs too. Hardly :D-worthy.

[Baz]

As a retired optician, it tickled me