Coronavirus Death Thread

[mugbull]

Lol, as if they're accusing the other side of being the ones waging the culture war.

You think the culture war is being waged by...The Guardian? Come on

[Giggles]

There are few things in life I hate more than queuing, and the thought of having to time my supermarket visits to avoid them annoys me far more than not being able to eat out ever again.

Can’t do it. Wouldn’t matter how much I wanted something. Main reason I can’t hack airports too

[Lewis]

The Guardian is more a victorious occupying power than an active culture war participant.

[Yevrah]

Can’t do it. Wouldn’t matter how much I wanted something. Main reason I can’t hack airports too

Don't you find airports slightly different as in theory there's a fixed time when all your queuing is over and you're done?

[Don]

As with most things, it's all fun and games queueing up for the weekly shop in the blazing sun, headphones in and with some fine gash whose onset of bacterial vaginosis you can see in real-time through her Gymshark leggings.

[Giggles]

Don't you find airports slightly different as in theory there's a fixed time when all your queuing is over and you're done?
It’s worse because it’s queue after queue after queue, and then more once you arrive at the other end.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was behind two separate old boys in the supermarket queue the other morning and it turned out they were both there solely to buy a paper, and the sole reason they each wanted a paper was for the TV listings, without which, they agreed, they wouldn't know what was on telly.

I do hope it's not like this when we're old.

[phonics]

You think the culture war is being waged by...The Guardian? Come on

He's a traditionalist. Anyone advocating for changes to the status quo is waging culture war, anyone who advocates the status quo is fine (while ignoring that the status quo changes all the time) 'reflects the view of the people'.

It's codswallop but it's consistent.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For avoidance of doubt, it's being waged by those with cultural points to lose against those with nothing to lose. I've been saying so since before Brexit.

[Spikey M]

It’s worse because it’s queue after queue after queue, and then more once you arrive at the other end.

This is where small airports are king. Flying from Southend is a fucking dream. There's rarely more than 1 flight per hour, so you're only ever queueing with your own flight.

First time we flew from there we gave ourselves the normal 2 hours to check in etc, but we were sat at the bar within 15 minutes. Coming back is even better, we were home within half an hour of landing, drive through McDonalds in hand.

Stansted on the other hand... it's fucked me over every time.

[Kikó]

The problem with London Southend is that it's in Southend.

[Giggles]

This is where small airports are king. Flying from Southend is a fucking dream. There's rarely more than 1 flight per hour, so you're only ever queueing with your own flight.

First time we flew from there we gave ourselves the normal 2 hours to check in etc, but we were sat at the bar within 15 minutes. Coming back is even better, we were home withing half an hour of landing, drive through McDonalds in hand.

I loved Southampton for the same reason last year. Is that even open any more seeing as it was nearly all Flybe?

[Spikey M]

The problem with London Southend is that it's in Southend.

Yes, but only dickhead forrins get done over by that.

[Kikó]

I imagine it's better than Luton.

[Spikey M]

And London.

[Shindig]

This is where small airports are king. Flying from Southend is a fucking dream. There's rarely more than 1 flight per hour, so you're only ever queueing with your own flight.

And if you're connecting abroad, you've already done your security and can crack straight on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I imagine it's better than Luton.

It can't be any worse.

[Don]

Wait what, Norn Ireland is letting six people from different households mix. They really are the greatest fucking country in the world. Imagine the fucking Nike Cage tournaments going on once we get that shit here :drool:

[Spikey M]

Wait what, Norn Ireland is letting six people from different households mix. They really are the greatest fucking country in the world. Imagine the fucking Nike Cage tournaments going on once we get that shit here :drool:

They really want that border back in place.

[Giggles]

Is there a distance limit to that? We’re at 4 currently but each person can only travel a max of 5km from their home to do so, going up to 20km on June 20th.

[Spikey M]

Or not. As you were.

[CJay]

Is there a distance limit to that? We’re at 4 currently but each person can only travel a max of 5km from their home to do so, going up to 20km on June 20th.

No limit. Part do this step is meeting indoors but we’re not quite at that stage apparently.

[Boydy]

Is there a distance limit to that? We’re at 4 currently but each person can only travel a max of 5km from their home to do so, going up to 20km on June 20th.
I don't think so, no.

You're still meant to maintain 2m between you and you're only allowed to meet outside though.

I'll probably still leave it for a while before I go see my folks.

[Giggles]

Yeah ours is outside only and 2m distance too, and the 20km one in June will be the same. My folks are well outside both so I may wait for the July ones to see if I can go visit. I don’t think there’s anyone within 20km that I’d visit or would visit here anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Parents are probably a few weeks off yet but the golf course could be happening soon. What a world.

[Spikey M]

Next door had their parents over for a barbecue yesterday and the other side was having a good chat with his neighbour over the fence.

We've given it up too, just not officially.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have to say, the fear has gone from me a little bit. I don't feel like covey is lurking around every corner now. That doesn't mean I'm going to chuck the towel in and do what I want, though.

[Waffdon]

I get to have sex for the first time in 10 weeks next week. Shoot the load within 30 seconds instead of 2 mins amirite

[Smjffy]

I get to have sex for the first time in 10 weeks next week. Shoot the load within 30 seconds instead of 2 mins amirite

You're allowed to see your parents in Scotland?

[Waffdon]

A Welshman of all people. Oh lord.

[Smjffy]

We have different preferences. :D

[Andy]

I loved Southampton for the same reason last year. Is that even open any more seeing as it was nearly all Flybe?

It won't last unless someone picks up the FlyBe routes, they were 95% of the traffic.

[Shindig]

I'm surprised the domestic routes haven't come back. It's not like Heathrow entirely stopped.

[Magic]

Despite the lockdown, deaths from the common flu continued at the same rate. :harold:

Another e-victory for Yevrage.

[Yevrah]

Not sure why that would be a victory or not in respect of anything I’ve said.

[Baz]

I enjoyed this (https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/gmlndq/it_all_went_wrong/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) video.

[Smjffy]

I imagine it's better than Luton.

I was at the arrivals in Luton in February and it didn't seem so bad. Am I missing something?

[Smjffy]

I have to say, the fear has gone from me a little bit. I don't feel like covey is lurking around every corner now. That doesn't mean I'm going to chuck the towel in and do what I want, though.

I still can't help but think that many others will think like this. I can't shake the thought that as soon as we come out of lockdown properly then we're going to regret it but I base that purely on the fact that we seem to have got absolutely everything wrong to date.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was at the arrivals in Luton in February and it didn't seem so bad. Am I missing something?

The airport itself is ok but the town is an absolute shit hole.

Also, as someone who has had to go to Luton airport a lot it's really annoying as for years now they seem to change the parking layout every time I visited. Plus the parking fees are mad.

[Don]

Luton airport is an efficient hub, but then so are most major airports if you're not a slobbering mess. Cars are for wankers so always glad to hear wankers being stung by measures.

[Magic]

Not sure why that would be a victory or not in respect of anything I’ve said.

Because if flu was an airbourne transmission or whatever then why has the death rate not changed at all despite the lockdown? Science is WRONG again.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Luton airport is an efficient hub, but then so are most major airports if you're not a slobbering mess. Cars are for wankers so always glad to hear wankers being stung by measures.

Apparently public transportation in and out of the airport (to places outside of Herts & Bucks) is shocking.

[Spikey M]

Because if flu was an airbourne transmission or whatever then why has the death rate not changed at all despite the lockdown? Science is WRONG again.

We didn't go into lockdown until March which is usually end of Flu Season anyway.

[Queenslander]

Has this been posted yet? It feels like they know more than we do about covid...



U.S. military bans anyone hospitalized for COVID-19 from enlisting

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/military-enlistment-ban-hospitalized-coronavirus/

[Spikey M]

We don't want anyone with pussy'ole lungs murdering babies. Not on the Donalds watch.

[mugbull]

Luton airport when I was there was worse than the Casablanca, Sarajevo or Atlanta airports, which hold the next 3 spots on my list

[Raoul Duke]

Apparently public transportation in and out of the airport (to places outside of Herts & Bucks) is shocking.

You can get the Thameslink to King's Cross in 30 minutes :cab:

[Kikó]

The problem with Luton is the train > bus part (coming from London). The airport is probably better than Stansted and Gatwick.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You can get the Thameslink to King's Cross in 30 minutes :cab:

But there are no direct trains.

They're building a DART to connect the Train station to the Airport which will help.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tee time booked for Thursday night. God bless my 5 wood, god bless social distancing, and god bless America.

[ScousePig]

Luton airport's been great every time I've used it.

To give this post more purpose, our teachers met today to go through plans for returning. In a nutshell, from June 1:
- Reception, Year 1 and Year 6 classes will all return, split into two groups of no more than 15
- Key worker children will continue to be split into two classes
- That means all classrooms will be occupied, so Years 2-5 will not be returning before September

As Year 6 teacher, I'll be back in full time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The plans for schools re-opening sound fucking ghoulish - which isn't necessarily to say it shouldn't happen, but it'll be hell on earth in there, and as for delineating people into 'key worker children' and others, sounds a trifle East German.

[ScousePig]

It's had a mixed response, it's fair to say.

[Lewis]

Doesn't the 'key worker' category cease to exist in its current form once other sectors are open again?

[Disco]

Yeah when can I go back to spitting on checkout staff?

[Giggles]

June 1st? When do you normally finish or do they want you to make up time over the summer?

[Waffdon]

Govt not making amount of folk tested available anymore :D

[Spikey M]

I'm still enjoying them dumping the 'how many dead' competition as soon as we 'beat' Italy.

[ScousePig]

Doesn't the 'key worker' category cease to exist in its current form once other sectors are open again?

Apparently not.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is this for a head teacher/whoever to make up themselves or do they get given guidelines from HMG? As your list of rules stinks of the former.

[Spikey M]

I know it's the former with Nursery's. My daughter is (hopefully) starting school in September and her Nersery are ignoring the government guidance to prioritise kids in transitional phases of Education as we've been told it's highly unlikely she'll be going back.

[Offshore Toon]

Luton Airport is a shithole that I'm glad to be banned from.

[Spikey M]

:D how?

[Shindig]

This better be good. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Drunken behaviour or something spicy?

[mo]

June 1st? When do you normally finish or do they want you to make up time over the summer?

Usually 2nd or 3rd week in July. None of these mammoth Irish summer holidays!

[Giggles]

Usually 2nd or 3rd week in July. None of these mammoth Irish summer holidays!

Yeah all ours, excluding second level exam years, are normally wrapped up before June I think

Do they want you to just do a couple of weeks in July then or is that your summer gone?

[Spoonsky]

We always finished school the first week of June. I can't imagine being stuck in a classroom in mid June, sounds torturous.

[Spikey M]

We don't live in the desert.

[Offshore Toon]

I'd been up all night coming back from a festival in Belgium, so was pretty out of it. I left Spoons in the airport relatively early to make sure I didn't miss my flight, but somehow got to the gate and it'd closed. The worst part was I left before my mates at Spoons but they all made the flight.

There were about fifteen other people at the gate who had also missed the flight shouting at the Easyjet staff, so I just hung at the back knowing that there was no way they'd listen to reason (there was 25/30 minutes till the flight took off). The staff then walked off and the crowd dispersed. I was a bit fucked because I don't leave festivals with more than a few quid to my name, so had to come up with something spectacular.

I could still see the plane with the stairs attached, so I pushed the door to get out but it was obviously locked. I walked to another door and again it was locked. I knew one way to guarantee getting through, so I went with it. I looked around to see if anybody was watching and I pressed the emergency exit button.

The alarm started going off and I pegged it towards the plane and up the stairs with my boarding pass in hand, only to be greeted with "you're not supposed to be here! Get off!"

I went down the stairs and a few high-vis jackets were waiting for me.

"Do you have any idea how serious what you've done is? Give me your passport."

I knew from being a steward at Brighton that a high-vis meant nothing, so I refused them my passport but then a copper turned up and I played nice. I basically told him that it was a stupid yet desperate act and I didn't see any other way out.

Apparently there was a fire drill the day before, so they thought this was a mistake and turned the alarm off without evacuating, which saved my arse. He passed my details onto the airport to stick me on the no fly list, but apart from that I was released to fall asleep on a train and miss my stop at King's Cross.

[Spoonsky]

ffs :D

[Spikey M]

You fanny :D

[Spoonsky]

We don't live in the desert.

It's more that restlessness would be sky high when it's the best weather of the year and you're forced to watch it through the window.

[Spikey M]

It's more that restlessness would be sky high when it's the best weather of the year and you're forced to watch it through the window.

That's true for my part of the country, but north of Watford they only really have 1 season in this country anyway

[Spoonsky]

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/pick-for-britain-how-to-sign-up-fruit-vegetable-harvest-a9521976.html

Get picking lads.

[Alex]

Isn't the real reason nobody can be arsed with it that they all want you to go live on site in a fucking caravan or something and then dock your wages for the privilege? That could well be some twisted, Twitter-filtered version of reality that my brain has just absorbed at some point over the last few weeks though.

[Kikó]

Well and it's horrible hard work.

[Giggles]

That’s what they all do here anyway.

[Lewis]

Who was picking it all before the Eastern Europeans? It's a scam, and all the farmers want shooting.

[Giggles]

You’d think in this day and age there would be a machine to do it anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are shitloads of British people who would/will go and pick, particularly when there's no/little other work about, but they'd expect the minimum wage to do so and farmers will be dragged out of their farms screaming before they voluntarily pay that.

[ScousePig]

Is this for a head teacher/whoever to make up themselves or do they get given guidelines from HMG? As your list of rules stinks of the former.

Guidelines, and then senior leaders will be in regular communication and plans drawn up from there.

Every school will have their own plan, but many of them will be very similar.

[Queenslander]

Those Swedish carnts arent looking too smart now are they...


Sweden tops Europe COVID-19 deaths per capita over past week

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/sweden-tops-europe-covid-19-deaths-per-capita-over-past-week

[Shindig]

It's the same problem as us. Care homes.

[Queenslander]

It's the same problem as us. Care homes.

SBS did not mention care homes. :moop:

[Queenslander]

I am getting far too much enjoyment from the States sledging each other.
https://i.ibb.co/f4zTk3V/FB-IMG-1589967647339.jpg (https://ibb.co/72d0n3x)

[Waffdon]

PMQs have been good viewing. England really is full of horrific, weird cunts. This Brexit mess will make sure Tories are in power for many decades, won’t it?

[Adramelch]

Those Swedish carnts arent looking too smart now are they...



https://www.sbs.com.au/news/sweden-tops-europe-covid-19-deaths-per-capita-over-past-week

I don't think anyone reasonable was expecting that they get fewer short-term deaths through their approach. The concept is that on the long term it will have been a healthier approach.

[Waffdon]

Southend Beach looks like the pits right now unless I’ve been duped into an old photo.

[Spikey M]

It's been like it a good few times since they eased the lockdown. It's all the cunts from East London.

[mo]

Yeah all ours, excluding second level exam years, are normally wrapped up before June I think

Do they want you to just do a couple of weeks in July then or is that your summer gone?

Yeah I think the govt want 'face to face' teaching for exam classes before the summer, but no idea if thats likely. Won't be teaching through the summer holiday, even if the loons want that to happen.

[Disco]

Roads into North Devon are apparently 'gridlocked' with people coming down for the bank holiday. I don't know where they think they're going to go, plus there's been plenty of people shopping their second home-owing neighbours for re-locating down here during lockdown.

Piss off, we're full :drool:

[Giggles]

Do what they did in Wexford and Waterford here and slash tyres and threaten to burn them out.

[Giggles]

Drop the bomb.


1263081498175066112

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roads into North Devon are apparently 'gridlocked' with people coming down for the bank holiday. I don't know where they think they're going to go, plus there's been plenty of people shopping their second home-owing neighbours for re-locating down here during lockdown.

Piss off, we're full :drool:

Rather than coming for the bank holiday, isn't it just the massive number of furloughed people (I say the word 'people' with a scowl) all going on day trips in the sunshine?

[Giggles]

Rather than coming for the bank holiday, isn't it just the massive number of furloughed people (I say the word 'people' with a scowl) all going on day trips in the sunshine?

You’ve forgotten that most people are fucking idiots.

[Boydy]

Speaking of people being idiots.

1263087142290554881

[Disco]

Rather than coming for the bank holiday, isn't it just the massive number of furloughed people (I say the word 'people' with a scowl) all going on day trips in the sunshine?

Worse, it's caravaners.

[Spikey M]

You still up for that pint later?

[Giggles]

You still up for that pint later?

Don’t forget to dial me in

[Luke Emia]

Speaking of people being idiots.

1263087142290554881

What is wrong with people? How desperate can you be for junk food that you’d queue for that long?

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you go to a McDonald's in a busy urban area now (at a normal non-virus time, obviously) they are always absolutely rammed, and if you time it badly they can be apocalyptic. There's a certain breed of youngster post-2010 that will only eat their favourite junk food brands and it's usually McDonald's. Add in the ubiquitous eastern European motorbike runners taking inexplicably large delivery orders of 15/20 meals (I presume to drug dens) and it's a recipe for hell.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went to a McDonalds in Spain at around 9 and it was absolutely rammed.

It seemed like most of the town as everyone knew everyone else.

[Shindig]

You know how takeaways will text you when your order's delivered? Fast food places should do that for when your order's done. Place it, fuck off for ten minutes, pick up once the text is in.

[Waffdon]

Ten minutes to get a Mcds? The fuck. 2/3 mins max even when there’s a queue.

Surely you get Ubereats too

[Waffdon]

Also, why the fuck does the army feel the need to shoot bullets all night long during a pandemic.

Swear it’s louder than it usually is. Twats. The firing times say until midnight but I call bullshit on that.

[Shindig]

Just put your hands behind your head and they'll stop.

[Waffdon]

Get a silencer on that shit. I mean, fuck. At least they stop at the weekend, I guess.

[Don]

Not been following developments too much but I see they're not only going through with this contact-tracing dream with that no doubt dogshit app, they've hired a load of thick cunts to crunch the data? One of the melts was on the news with his pixelated face as if he was talking about being raped but actually, he was just outing all his buddies as not having any work to do and wasting time on their phones instead. What a cunt. And Bojo's slapped on some target to get it all up and running by next week or whenever :D

And yep, not a single fuck given by the public outside today. You really cannot get in the way of an Eastern European troupe and a BBQ.

[Yevrah]

The dates mentioned around that app have 'box ticking' exercise written all over them. We genuinely don't have a clue how to deal with this and if we don't sort our shit out it's going to fuck us hard.

[Queenslander]

I don't think anyone reasonable was expecting that they get fewer short-term deaths through their approach. The concept is that on the long term it will have been a healthier approach.

Yeah that's fair. Im also a dick for posting an article with zero details.

[Queenslander]

Im not surpised that the woke scolding capital of Australia is also the taddling capital of Australia.


Victorians report suspected breaches of coronavirus restrictions in record numbers

More than 102,000 calls were received in April, compared to nearly 71,000 in March — a 30 per cent increase

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-21/victoria-coronavirus-restrictions-reports-of-suspected-breaches/12270018

[Queenslander]

:drool:

https://i.ibb.co/jrW70xZ/FB-IMG-1590026331668.jpg (https://ibb.co/nLnhdV8)

This is more entertaining than State of Origin.


Not going to be lectured to': Queensland doubles down on state border blue


https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/not-going-to-be-lectured-to-queensland-doubles-down-on-state-border-blue-20200521-p54v29.html

[Lewis]

It seems that 1 June is my official return date, so the question is do I immediately start booting off about my delayed pay upgrade or give it a day or two?

[Kikó]

I went to the park yesterday and had a picnic and it was absolutely heaving. Zero point in the lockdown continuing as it's done.

Pub was selling takeout pints and pizzas. It was basically a festival.

[Yevrah]

That does read like you were doing your bit to make sure it's over.

[Kikó]

Oh yeah no doubt. I was in the park enjoying the sun and licking random strangers.

[Yevrah]

Well, you said lockdown is done because the park was heaving. Do you and whoever you were with not contribute towards the heaving?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sun + decreased community transmission + half the country being on furlough is going to lead to some horrendous scenes which I'm quite glad to be avoiding, in my beautiful office, where the toilets are like those on a warship, and the light fittings make more noise than the people.

[Kikó]

Well, you said lockdown is done because the park was heaving. Do you and whoever you were with not contribute towards the heaving?

Yes?

It's an observation that any pretence of a lockdown is done. Saying that, we were two metres from the people we were meeting (mostly) and from others (always).

[Yevrah]

I'm not even that arsed about lockdown being broken now. It's inevitable if you have a government and a bunch of wanker scientific advisers that seem to be perpetually rudderless.

This weekend is going to be carnage.

[Yevrah]

Yes?

It's an observation that any pretence of a lockdown is done. Saying that, we were two metres from the people we were meeting (mostly) and from others (always).

It came across like it was the fault of others and nothing to do with you. Maybe you didn't mean it that way or I misinterpreted, but If you were meeting people then you broke it and were contributing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In fairness, I reckon people are mostly decent judges of things, and I also reckon community transmission is through the floor now. We're just at the mercy of our overlords in guessing when various facets of life should be safe to open up.

[Kikó]

It came across like it was the fault of others and nothing to do with you. Maybe you didn't mean it that way or I misinterpreted, but If you were meeting people then you broke it and were contributing.

Yeah, thought it may have come across as judging of others - in all honesty, the message has been to use "common sense" (as Jimmy says) and we tried to apply our version of it.

Over a picnic.

[Queenslander]

Victorian Police would bash your head in for that...

[Yevrah]

There are some stupid rules in life. The problem here is that this one now seems stupid because it was put in place to avoid the peak swamping the NHS, which we avoided quite a while ago now. Maybe it wasn't solely put in place for that reason, but that's what all the rhetoric said for weeks. Weeks which felt like months because we were all adjusting to time having a different feeling.

So in our minds, months have passed since we avoided the peak and actual weeks have. Now I can get on a crowded tube train, but I'm still not allowed to go and sit in my Sister's palatial garden (not flexing, just trying to illustrate the space) even if I distance while doing it.

The rules make little sense, we don't really know why they're in place to the level they are still or what will now actually have to happen to change them (I know there are 5 requirements, but they're ridiculous, so you can forget those) and the messaging from the government (who seem obsessed with introducing and failing to meet new targets) and the wanker scientific advisers (who seem obsessed with debunking the accepted scientific approach the rest of the world is following) is just piss poor. Which leads to a vacuum, where people will people.

Continue on this path and it won't be long before almost everyone is breaking lockdown and businesses think fuck it and do their own thing as well.

[Ian]

Common sense as a phrase / concept is usually used idiotically anyway because if it was indeed common sense we wouldn't need to talk about it.

If you say or imply that people can do whatever they think is right they'll do what people always fucking do, which is assume that it's only other people who have to make sensible decisions and anything that might come of it isn't their fault. Hence pictures of parks and beaches absolutely chock full of people.

[Spikey M]

I have people on Facebook posting pictures of their kids in their paddling pools with their mates. It's done Yev, the government just haven't caught up yet. There does seem to be a minimum of a 3 week lag on everything they do, so atleast they're consistent. Go see your sister.

[Queenslander]

RIP England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There won't be a second wave because of people going to the beach now. There might be a cluster if we reopened nightclubs and everyone resumed tonguing each other's tonsils.

I just don't see the evidence from anywhere else that a second wave is imminent, no matter how many people use it as a dismissive scare threat. That'll only happen if there's a new strain which gets into the country and everything is back open. That is months off at worst.

We should be cautiously reopening things from this point, one at a time, assessing as we go.

[Magic]

The seethe when the SECOND WAVE doesn't happen. :harold:

[Queenslander]

When will you be travelling to Europe?

[Magic]

Mid-October. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Whenever they let us. There are areas of Spain and Portugal which will turn into withering third world husks without British tourism, so I can only imagine it will be at the earliest opportunity.

[Spikey M]

The seethe when the SECOND WAVE doesn't happen. :harold:

Who mentioned one?

[mugbull]

Cambridge have decided that all lectures will be online for the entirety of the next academic year. Seems a bit premature, lol

[Boydy]

What's the daily new cases at the minute?

[Kikó]

There won't be a second wave because of people going to the beach now. There might be a cluster if we reopened nightclubs and everyone resumed tonguing each other's tonsils.

I just don't see the evidence from anywhere else that a second wave is imminent, no matter how many people use it as a dismissive scare threat. That'll only happen if there's a new strain which gets into the country and everything is back open. That is months off at worst.

We should be cautiously reopening things from this point, one at a time, assessing as we go.

I love when you type dirty.

But that's pretty much it, outdoor transmission is relatively small so as long as you're missing out on the tube or the bus and not packed into rooms for extended periods of times then as long as you're <60 and not morbidly obese/broken lungs then you're taking an "acceptable risk". I have no idea how you reintegrate the older sorts.

[Magic]

Who mentioned one?

Everyone. Every picture the comments are always 'won't be laughing when they all die hahahaha' fucking lunatics. Think it was Jimmy that said if the Nazis took over we'd be fighting to all get in the Gestapo. Shit country full of absolutely shit people.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cambridge have decided that all lectures will be online for the entirety of the next academic year. Seems a bit premature, lol

Academics will be the last people to resume face to face contact, I'd have thought, most of them hate even having to look at the undergraduate scum who pay their wages at the best of times.

[Magic]

Academics will be the last people to resume face to face contact, I'd have thought, most of them hate even having to look at the undergraduate scum who pay their wages at the best of times.

Their self-protectionism and sneering has been unbearable.

[Waffdon]

Too many old people anyway. Reopen everything. They can die or stay at home.

[Yevrah]

The fabled second peak isn't even really a consideration for me. We got to where we did with the first one by literally doing nothing to change for two months, while we knew there'd be a problem for two months.

We'd have to go some to even get close to that again. Seeing family, in their gardens, sure as shit won't do it.

[Baz]

Keep going out, mates. Let’s get a second wave so i can continue to work from home until at least October.

[Boydy]

1263425621792821248

[Ian]

"I know it looks like-"

No it doesn't LOOK like that.

[Spikey M]

:D quality.

[niko_cee]

Down on Madeira Drive.

The good folk of Brighton really have been leading the charge in STICKING IT TO THE MAN on this one, somewhat surprisingly.

"An classic" though, so who comes out looking the bigger twat?

[Magic]

1230 to see what the ice queen's plans are. It will be exactly the same as BoJos. :cool:

[Don]

There are some stupid rules in life. The problem here is that this one now seems stupid because it was put in place to avoid the peak swamping the NHS, which we avoided quite a while ago now. Maybe it wasn't solely put in place for that reason, but that's what all the rhetoric said for weeks. Weeks which felt like months because we were all adjusting to time having a different feeling.

So in our minds, months have passed since we avoided the peak and actual weeks have. Now I can get on a crowded tube train, but I'm still not allowed to go and sit in my Sister's palatial garden (not flexing, just trying to illustrate the space) even if I distance while doing it.

The rules make little sense, we don't really know why they're in place to the level they are still or what will now actually have to happen to change them (I know there are 5 requirements, but they're ridiculous, so you can forget those) and the messaging from the government (who seem obsessed with introducing and failing to meet new targets) and the wanker scientific advisers (who seem obsessed with debunking the accepted scientific approach the rest of the world is following) is just piss poor. Which leads to a vacuum, where people will people.

Continue on this path and it won't be long before almost everyone is breaking lockdown and businesses think fuck it and do their own thing as well.

Mate, alert level = R + Number of deaths. How clear do you want it?

But yeah, whs. They're not re-opening because the NHS is probably not ready yet but lack of transparency and logic is going to be the ruin of them.



There won't be a second wave because of people going to the beach now. There might be a cluster if we reopened nightclubs and everyone resumed tonguing each other's tonsils.

I just don't see the evidence from anywhere else that a second wave is imminent, no matter how many people use it as a dismissive scare threat. That'll only happen if there's a new strain which gets into the country and everything is back open. That is months off at worst.

We should be cautiously reopening things from this point, one at a time, assessing as we go.

I don't understand this. The R number of the virus lends itself to exponential growth, the only way there won't be a second wave is if it's all been dreamt up by Bill Gates.

[Spikey M]

1263425621792821248

1263426688224047106?s=19

Jimmy's mum is up to it as well.

[Yevrah]

That's exactly the sort of shit I was getting at earlier. Everyone's problem, but always someone else's responsibility.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't understand this. The R number of the virus lends itself to exponential growth, the only way there won't be a second wave is if it's all been dreamt up by Bill Gates.

As long as we don't go back to packed offices, concerts and stadia tomorrow I can't see how it's suddenly going to shoot back up again into a second wave. People's social interactions now, regardless of pictures of parks and beaches, are a tiny fraction of what they were before.

[Spikey M]

And there's no avoiding it until it's gone, there's a vaccine or sufficient herd immunity. Just lock up the over 60's and the invalids and let the rest of us crack on. It's not much more dangerous to the rest of us than the Flu is and they don't even vaccinate us for that.

[Magic]

Open the fucking dentists! :cry:

[Manc]

Nothing in the world could stop this country getting out in the sunshine.

[Spikey M]

Why are they not open anyway? Surely that's an essential service. Cancel all the check ups by all means, but toothache can legitimately be the fucking worst pain.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shrieking, hysterical, worried mothers (darlings of the powers that be, as they usually vote and buy for 4 people) are going to cost us all about 6 months of our lives.

[Waffdon]

Schools opening from August in Scotland. Makes sense.

Buzzing to go fishing

[Lewis]

These 'track and trace' resources would be better used catching families out in the sun and forcing them back to school and work.

[Waffdon]

The difference in Sturgeon and Johnson is astounding.

[Magic]

Why are they not open anyway? Surely that's an essential service. Cancel all the check ups by all means, but toothache can legitimately be the fucking worst pain.

Had it since 27th April. 2 courses odd antibiotics so far and pain management.

[Andy]

Had it since 27th April. 2 courses odd antibiotics so far and pain management.

That must be horrendous, I've had an awful tooth ache / gum infection and dry socket before. No pain comes close.

[Spikey M]

I had an infected tooth/gum on our last night in Dublin. Fond memories of being on my knees in the bathroom, with my head on the floor, sobbing. Would have welcomed death at the time.

Drinking clove oil by the pint and walking through Dublin Airport smelling like I bathe in Mothballs. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure you can get emergency dental work down here, but I guess Scottish dentists have probably all seen things English ones could only imagine in their worst nightmares.

[Pepe]

Nothing in the world could stop this country getting out in the sunshine.

Good that you only get two sunny days a year.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The sun hasn't gone in here pretty much since lockdown began. I think it might have rained once in six weeks.

[Ian]

Since I started this job the weather always seemed to be nice whenever I've been on-call or backshift and can't go and drink in it but lockdown weather has really taken the piss.

[Spikey M]

Good that you only get two sunny days a year.

It really does depend where you live. When I was living in the Midlands it was properly grey. Dreary shit. But in the South East we do alright. I can't remember the last time it rained actually.

[Magic]

I'm sure you can get emergency dental work down here, but I guess Scottish dentists have probably all seen things English ones could only imagine in their worst nightmares.

Extraction only. Just paid for this crown/bridge as well, so extraction leaves me with a huge gap.

[Don]

The pain is merely your just punishment for not brushing and/or eating shit, really. Suck it up.

[Magic]

Schools opening from August in Scotland. Makes sense.

Buzzing to go fishing

Part-time for 'BLENDED' learning hahaha. She's a fucking rocket. Nae bather Nicola I'll just ask work if I can get full pay and work part-time as well eh? Arseholes them and fucking teachers, lazy bastards let's stop their full pay and see if they still want to do BLENDED learning. Dafties!

[Kikó]

It really does depend where you live. When I was living in the Midlands it was properly grey. Dreary shit. But in the South East we do alright. I can't remember the last time it rained actually.

Climate change is massively improving weather. It's absolutely scorching again here.

[Spikey M]

Climate change is massively improving weather. It's absolutely scorching again here.

Probably right. The last shit summer I remember was the one Rihanna famously ruined by having it rain every day that 'Umbrella' was at number 1.

Edit: https://www.dailyedge.ie/rihanna-umbrella-summer-ireland-3494349-Jul2017/

2007 apparently. We've done fine since. The year before last being particularly brutal.

[Raoul Duke]

Never waste a crisis, hey lads: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-52759578

[Don]

Similarly, I see Bristol council going in on some major pedestrianisation :drool: my hatred of the internal combustion engine really has grown massively in the past few months. A good few turbos and exhaust wankers were back yesterday ruining the vibes.

[Waffdon]

How long are these supposed phases meant to last? 3 weeks?

[Shindig]

Decided to have a crack at active cases again to see how that's doing now we're posting fewer deaths and cases. Similar maths apply to last time (The last two weeks worth of cases + a nominal 40% boost to account for asymptomatics and then take off the deaths)

54,170. You could comfortably fit them in Old Trafford but maybe not enough for social distancing.

[Kikó]

Well at least it isn't all bad. https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/21/american-billionaires-got-434-billion-richer-during-the-pandemic.html?__source=twitter%7Cmain

>American billionaires got $434 billion richer during the pandemic<

[Offshore Toon]

Down on Madeira Drive.

The good folk of Brighton really have been leading the charge in STICKING IT TO THE MAN on this one, somewhat surprisingly.

"An classic" though, so who comes out looking the bigger twat?
Madeira Drive is the other side of the pier with all the shagging.

[Lewis]

Well at least it isn't all bad. https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/21/american-billionaires-got-434-billion-richer-during-the-pandemic.html?__source=twitter%7Cmain

>American billionaires got $434 billion richer during the pandemic<


Because the study timeline captures the stock market bottom and quick rebound, it creates a slightly sunnier picture for billionaires than the full year. For the year, Buffett’s wealth has declined by $20 billion, according to the Bloomberg Billionaire’s Index, while Gates is down by $4.3 billion. For the year, Jeff Bezos has gained $35.5 billion while Zuckerberg is up by $9 billion.

Oh.

[Kikó]

Serves Buffet right for investing in airlines.

ps I did understand the word 'during'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My 71 day no social contact vigil was finally ended tonight as I played 14 holes of golf with a mate after work.

Honestly never enjoyed a round as much. Fuck knows what the score was but the feeling of club on ball when you nail one - good before - was like discovering the meaning of life.

It'll be like that for everything, I think. The tantalisingly closed clubhouse bar was just promise that more of these moments are around the corner.

[Giggles]

I’m going to be sorry to see it all come to an end in a lot of ways.

[Mellberg]

I'm going round the pitch and putt with a mate tomorrow. Every course in the city seems to be fully booked, so that'll have to do. Nine weeks since last social contact with someone I know. Long overdue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, it helps that there are about a billion golf courses per person near me.

Not having to rake the bunkers is :drool: too.

[ScousePig]

My 71 day no social contact vigil was finally ended tonight as I played 14 holes of golf with a mate after work.

Honestly never enjoyed a round as much. Fuck knows what the score was but the feeling of club on ball when you nail one - good before - was like discovering the meaning of life.

It'll be like that for everything, I think. The tantalisingly closed clubhouse bar was just promise that more of these moments are around the corner.

I cycled past an affluent golf course this morning and you could just tell the old chaps in their argyle sweaters were having the time of their lives. The cricketers were wheeling the nets out onto the square nearby, and the excitement was tangible.

I don't blame them, mind. It was glorious.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We got our nets turned around in 24 hours last weekend (while adhering to social distancing - we had to get a family to do the physical work), and they've been fully booked 8am-8pm for the first six days of opening. Pretty inspirational stuff.

People who don't like sport really don't have a fucking clue. It almost doesn't matter what your chosen sport is, or what level/how competitive you are. If you don't like sport on some level, you're dead to me.

[Don]

Turns out the vital all deaths figure has come out for Italy and it tanspires that they were hiding away about 15K bodies in the canals of Venice.

Now again, absolutely no one saw this coming so I think it's fair for UK to keep it's completely meaningless tag of 'worst affected in Europe' for another couple months of bullshit political shit slinging.

[ScousePig]

We got our nets turned around in 24 hours last weekend (while adhering to social distancing - we had to get a family to do the physical work), and they've been fully booked 8am-8pm for the first six days of opening. Pretty inspirational stuff.

People who don't like sport really don't have a fucking clue. It almost doesn't matter what your chosen sport is, or what level/how competitive you are. If you don't like sport on some level, you're dead to me.

If the weather was always as glorious as it has been through the pandemic, and I had the time that I've actually had, I'd happily just play cricket all day. In the aforementioned cycle this morning, I deliberately went to two of my old cricketing venues just to check them out.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-52754039

Spikey wasn't kidding. :|

[niko_cee]

Madeira Drive is the other side of the pier with all the shagging.

Yeah, thought it was down in front of that Concorde (Concorde II?) place but see that's not a road but a pedestrian bit between the people and the arches.

Dukes Mound is the place with the shagging, or Black Rock or somesuch, isn't it?

[Spoonsky]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-52754039

Spikey wasn't kidding. :|

Lol. Almost makes me feel better about our shambles seeing the state of you folks.

[Yevrah]

How are we perceived abroad?

[John Arne]

How are we perceived abroad?

A complete fuck up, only behind America. Given the deaths per 1m, that may be unfair.

[Queenslander]

A complete fuck up, only behind America. Given the deaths per 1m, that may be unfair.

:nod:

[Yevrah]

Is it commented on much? Is there disbelief due to our international standing? Are people just looking at the death numbers or is it more detailed?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Have any restrictions been lifted in the past few days?

I've head a few people say that things have eased up and you can see family now but I saw nothing.

[Yevrah]

One of my team told me they'd been round to see their Mum last night, which was ok because they chatted in the garden and kept 2m apart.

Not sure it is, but I struggle to care any more. If you (the government and scientific advisers) preside over shit, shit is what you'll get.

[Queenslander]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-52754039

Spikey wasn't kidding. :|

https://i.ibb.co/QXtgMff/Screenshot-20200522-113133-Chrome.jpg (https://ibb.co/g6h2J33)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The only person I've seen is my Cousin's wife.

She's a carer for my sister and she'll cook meals for her which I'll pick up. I stay in my car, she puts the meals in the back and we also chat a little bit.

When dropping stuff off at my sister's I'll either leave it outside of her flat door or she'll go in her bedroom and I'll put the bags in the kitchen but not touch anything else.

[Yevrah]

Brazil's an interesting one as their death toll gets ever more horrific.

Given their president dismissed the whole thing I'm surprised he isn't suppressing the numbers (more).

[Spoonsky]

Bolsonaro's probably been the worst leader in the entire world on this.

[John Arne]

Is it commented on much? Is there disbelief due to our international standing? Are people just looking at the death numbers or is it more detailed?

Not overly, no. Over here the sole focus is on Vietnam and how we are dealing with it. I imagine that's a similar story in most countries.

When everything is over, and the final numbers are known, I think that's when the focus will shift to those countries that screwed this up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Have any restrictions been lifted in the past few days?

I've head a few people say that things have eased up and you can see family now but I saw nothing.

No, but it's sunny, we've been in lockdown two months, the virus is barely going round outside care homes, and people are just giving up.

[Spikey M]

And yet the government stick with 'people are overwhelmingly sticking to the rules'.

Half of them don't even know what the rules are anymore lads.

[niko_cee]

Is it commented on much? Is there disbelief due to our international standing? Are people just looking at the death numbers or is it more detailed?

Why would it be? Why would anyone give a fuck? Presumably in the world where they do said people are too busy lolling their tits off at Belgium. If this has taught us anything* it's that the world is parochial. Screw thy neighbour we need the PPE for us!

*actually, the main takeaway for me from all this is that it has shone a light on the fact that a fair few people I know (mostly casually) and have previously assumed are relatively normal people are full on Bill Gates PLANdemic tinfoil hat nutters.

[Giggles]

Is it commented on much? Is there disbelief due to our international standing? Are people just looking at the death numbers or is it more detailed?

I think it's just a by product of that mong opening his mouth rather than any actual figures.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And yet the government stick with 'people are overwhelmingly sticking to the rules'.

Half of them don't even know what the rules are anymore lads.

They probably are. I have. We just notice the ones who aren't.

[Spikey M]

They probably are. I have. We just notice the ones who aren't.

Most people are sticking to it, a sizable minority aren't. Not that I particularly care anymore, but it's just another example of complete impotence from our dear leader and his Scientific Misadvisors.

[Giggles]

Most people are sticking to it, a sizable minority aren't. Not that I particularly care anymore, but it's just another example of complete impotence from our dear leader and his Scientific Misadvisors.

Things definitely could have been laid out clearer, but cretins will cretin and unless you're going to go the whole hog and go Stasi on them then there's fuck all you can do really.

[Spikey M]

Things definitely could have been laid out clearer, but cretins will cretin and unless you're going to go the whole hog and go Stasi on them then there's fuck all you can do really.

I'd be happy with them just acknowledging that it's happening and having something to say about it, rather than just pretending it isn't happening.

The people of this country aren't particularly keen on doing what they're told, that's true, but you know that couple that sit by the pool sun bathing whilst their shitty kids run riot and ruin everyone else's holiday? Yeah...

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think shrill chastising of people succumbing to the human temptation to go and have a non-miserable day would be pretty awful messaging from the government.

[Shindig]

If Boris walked in today and told the wankers off, they'd probably double down on being wankers.


An Indonesian zoo has said it may have to resort to slaughtering some of its animals to feed others, according to a Reuters report.

I bet Tiger tastes shit.

[Magic]

Look all these pictures of crowds etc, they haven't resulted in MASSIVE localised death tolls lik everyone has claimed. So what's the fucking problem? Open the lot up.

[Spikey M]

I think shrill chastising of people succumbing to the human temptation to go and have a non-miserable day would be pretty awful messaging from the government.

You can remark on an increase of people ignoring the rules and repeat them to ensure clarity without being shrill.

Again, not that I particularly care. The rules are stupid anyway. But if you put rules in place, then atleast give the appearance that you're taking them seriously yourself.

I suspect it's probably the case that they are well aware that the rules are mostly a waste of time, which is why they don't really care about people breaking them. The concern is that if they were to strip things back to just the rules that actually need following, then people would break those too and we'd be in a bit of trouble.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Exactly. Given that we aren't a police state, we don't remotely have the capacity to enforce such rules, so the way they have done it is set rules that most people will follow and if some people don't then whatever.

My neighbours have been having family/friends over for weeks (dating well back into 'full lockdown'), and the only way they would stop would be if several police officers came and physically dragged them out. Is it healthy to do that? Is it fuck.

[Don]

Apparently the government will be publishing a review into the heightened impact on BAMEs in the healthcare sector next week. All that would be quite entertaining to see it come out with some 'white is right' conclusions and allow us Aryans to watch the seethe.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I read something suggesting that Vitamin D levels are the biggest indicator of whether you get seriously ill from this, and black folk in a cold climate have the lowest Vitamin D levels of anyone on earth.

[Spikey M]

They're talking about 'low levels of T-Cells' being a key contributor now, and we already have a medication that boosts them. Promising.

[Yevrah]

I don’t really care whether the government are constantly referring to people breaking lockdown, just have some rules in place that make sense and fucking update them when they’re no longer needed to be as robust.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don’t really care whether the government are constantly referring to people breaking lockdown, just have some rules in place that make sense and fucking update them when they’re no longer needed to be as robust.

The three weeks incubation feels a bit on the long side, I have to say. Three weeks is a longer time in people's lives than it is to a wonk in an office somewhere.

[Kikó]

Why would it be? Why would anyone give a fuck? Presumably in the world where they do said people are too busy lolling their tits off at Belgium. If this has taught us anything* it's that the world is parochial. Screw thy neighbour we need the PPE for us!

*actually, the main takeaway for me from all this is that it has shone a light on the fact that a fair few people I know (mostly casually) and have previously assumed are relatively normal people are full on Bill Gates PLANdemic tinfoil hat nutters.

yeah man, this stuff is so deeply ingrained which you don't usually see. The youtube videos are so bloody convincing to be fair...

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had the entire senior management of my company sending round viral clips claiming it was a Chinese conspiracy.

WELL, PRESIDENT SO CALLED XI HASN'T HAD THE VIRUS, HAS HE?? BIT OF A COINCIDENCE, ISN'T IT??!?!?!?

[Ian]

:face:

[Kikó]

As a youtube survivor, it's incredible to see how many people are so taken in by this. On one hand, the government are massively incompetent yet on the other, Rothschild and co are secretly puppet mastering everything to be perfect for them.

[niko_cee]

I'd completely forgotten about Conspiracy Kiko.

[Ian]

This came up in another thread but nobody ever told me what bonkers conspiracies he was buying into.

I'm sure I've told my story on here of how a David Icke-believed on a train from Glasgow one day ended up offering me a drink and calling me Gandalf.

[Lewis]

Operation Blackjack was what got him started.

[niko_cee]

Schools going back full time from June 8th and I can get a haircut as of a week on Saturday.

Thank the fucking lord.

:joy:

[Kikó]

Operation Blackjack was what got him started.

That is some freaky recall.

*googles it*

[Lewis]

These last few months have been straight out of its playbook.

[John]

I have a mate who's about two months into the Konspiracy Kiko Korrespondence Kourse for budding nutters. It's incredibly entertaining when he does thing like wonder aloud why those little masks are considered sufficient to protect against viruses but firefighters have to wear all the gear they do before entering a dangerous room.

[Ian]

The KKKK is a catchy name for it.

[Spikey M]

Burning Epidemiologists on crosses.

[Kikó]

Not even a real science.

[Shindig]

Nice to see the daily cases rise in time for the bank holiday. :moop:

Should I check the conspiracies out? The problem with youtube in general is how those services have managed to cultivate personality cults. It's perfect for Loose Change, The Ripple Effect, Paul is Dead, etc videos.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, thought it was down in front of that Concorde (Concorde II?) place but see that's not a road but a pedestrian bit between the people and the arches.

Dukes Mound is the place with the shagging, or Black Rock or somesuch, isn't it?
Yeah, Concorde 2. The nudist beach is in between the marina and the volleyball opposite Concorde, which is the rough area I meant. Is Dukes Mound the place that looks ridiculously extravagant for homeless people?

[Boydy]

Is anyone wearing a mask when they go to the shops or whatever?

If so, what type and where did you get them?

[Foe]

Interested in this query.

I am not and have no intention of doing so but interested in who’s cautious.

[Spikey M]

I don't even wash my hands when I get in now.

[Giggles]

Is anyone wearing a mask when they go to the shops or whatever?

If so, what type and where did you get them?

I wear one, and gloves, in every shop I go into and on every customer site while I’m there. I got a few washable ones and the rest are collected up from customers who would give you 10 or 20 disposable ones if you asked.
I sanitise on the way into the shop, sanitise when I get home, and spray down anything I bought with an alcohol spray.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I have not at all.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have 10 Chinese ones from work, but I'm saving them in case we are forced to wear them at some point in the covid prevention measures sweepstakes which, I see, have just introduced airport quarantines.

[Disco]

I have gloved but not masked.

[mugbull]

I have the Financial Fair Play 3 mask

[Shindig]

I'm going to get some for public transport. Seeing the Texan Congressman using a bandana gives me ideas, mind.

[Boydy]

I don't have any but want to get some. I don't know what type is best or where is best is best to get them though.

Although it's probably kind of useless if everyone doesn't wear them in shops and stuff.

I feel like they should be mandatory.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've found that cunts in masks are the ones who break distancing measures at shops.

[Shindig]

I'd say mandatory in enclosed spaces like public transport. Problem with that is you invariably have to remove them to eat and drink.