Coronavirus Death Thread

[Spikey M]

:drool:

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Haha, I’m right between the two circles. Are the bins not alternate Thursdays or am I losing my mind

Varies around this area so I'd check.

Twitter can be a cesspit but moments like that make it all worth it.

[Spoonsky]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2020/3/24/90a55a94-d365-40e1-8d7d-3d9de7392470.jpg

India does what India does.

:D You mean what all of the UK has been doing for the past week?

[Waffdon]

1242157813360721922

Covid3:16 just kicked your ass

[Magic]

Clean up in aisle 3:16. :drool:

[Queenslander]

Greta Thunberg has it...

[Queenslander]

2 month old baby boy has it in NSW. :|

https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-25/coronavirus-infections-in-nsw-rise-past-1000/12086196?pfmredir=sm

[Shindig]

Greta Thunberg has it...

No, she thinks she's had it. Came back from Europe with a cough and sore throat.

[Giggles]

She has her fucking shite. That’s enough.

[Giggles]

2 month old baby boy has it in NSW. :|

https://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-25/coronavirus-infections-in-nsw-rise-past-1000/12086196?pfmredir=sm

Couple of infants here have had it and both recovered with no issues.

[Queenslander]

Couple of infants here have had it and both recovered with no issues.

Good news.

[Queenslander]

She has her fucking shite. That’s enough.

The article i read said she is staying in a borrowed apartment. How far removed from the working class are her handlers?

[Bernanke]

The article i read said she is staying in a borrowed apartment. How far removed from the working class are her handlers?

Her mum was in Eurovision in -09.

[Mike]

Killing the business.

1242146490941923340

That’s legit brilliant

[Spikey M]

I feel weird tonight. Not even symptoms that I've heard associated with this, so it's probably an un related hell I'm heading for. My chest is sore (as in my 'tits', not my heart/lungs), my bollocks are aching and I'm itching all over.

[Lofty]

Me and the mrs can now both smell smoke with no obvious sign in the house so we're either experiencing some new coronavirus symtpoms or we have a ghost.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Stroke(s)?

[Luca]

Burning corpses?

[Shindig]

Sometimes my flat gets taken over by the smell of crap takeaway from the students upstairs. I hate that.

[Spikey M]

Stroke(s)?

I'm working from home so I've had a few. I doubt it's related.

[Boydy]

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:lol:

[Spikey M]

:D

[SincereTheRebel]

1242157813360721922

That was great. Have they brought back DDTs being performed from men to women yet?

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52018477

"The NHS will treat coronavirus patients in a makeshift field hospital in the ExCeL Centre in East London."

We're going nuclear.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you'd told me on 1 January that by 24 March the Excel would be turned into a makeshift field hospital, I think I'd have shat my pants.

[Alex]

1242517074905268225

:lol:

That is superb, to be fair. :D

[Queenslander]

Virgin Australia has reduced capacity for domestic flight by 90%.

https://ab.co/2UCNvwL

[Bernanke]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/371455350966190083/692155592525217842/image0.png

[Yevrah]

My Sister has it, or is as sure as she can be that she does.

She also aches all over so 2/2 for that symptom.

[Spikey M]

One of my Wife's Aunties has just put on the family WhatsApp group that she got her daughter and husband to do a video for her Mum and Dad, 'so they could say hello' and she went round to show them last night. "They loved it. You could all do the same?"

Her parents are both in their 90's. One of them in stage 4 renal failure and the Aunte in question works at Southend Hospital.

The group chat is now exploding with various essays calling her every form of idiot you could think up. Meanwhile she responds with carefully considered responses like 'I only do Admin there, I'm not on the wards!' and 'What, we're just meant to not see our parents for 12 weeks?!'

Fuck me. How is it possible to not get it at this point.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You could not see them for 12 weeks or not see them ever again, a tempting choice perhaps in some cases but come on.

First day working from home today, back in for my stint on Monday but it feels refreshing not to have to risk your life in order to go to the loo.

[Magic]

We've been asked to join the support call queue at work. Not doing that lol.

[thommo]

Still in the office today, but everyone is being mindful of one another. People not passing in the corridors and whatnot so it's definitely sinking in here. More measures for distancing and absolute vats of alcohol gel/sanitiser to use at all times too.

[niko_cee]

"risk your life"

:happycry:

[Shindig]

Got my key worker letter. Now all I need is some children.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52029877

That's really fucking nice. When they announced they needed that many volunteers, I didn't expect that kind of immediate response.

[John Arne]

I have a video on my phone... What's the easiest way to share on here? Imgur doesn't seem to allow video upload.

[John Arne]

Found it on YouTube. Probably not worth it :(


https://youtu.be/X1dHN_0tqDk

[Shindig]

Oh, that's the joke. :D

[John Arne]

I lol"d

[Waffdon]

Prince Charles has it. It will all be worthwhile if it takes out that whole family.

[John]

I've just had two kids at the door with a sponsorship form for something or other. Terrific timing lads.

[Shindig]

They don't live together, mate. The Royals, I mean.

[Andy]

We have finally been moved onto doing just emergency work. I kicked off massively this morning.

The housing association distinguish all work as either routine or emergency. We were told by the government to only do essential work inside peoples properties and we were still doing routine jobs. I had a job today to fit radiator cabinets, in what world is that essential? I told them I thought it was negligent behaviour.

[SincereTheRebel]

We have finally been moved onto doing just emergency work. I kicked off massively this morning.

The housing association distinguish all work as either routine or emergency. We were told by the government to only do essential work inside peoples properties and we were still doing routine jobs. I had a job today to fit radiator cabinets, in what world is that essential? I told them I thought it was negligent behaviour.

Ive been informed, they are not doing any surveying as they have to enter peoples homes. Ive recommended they just use a drone.

[Don]

"risk your life"

:happycry:

Quite. Not at risk? Not seeing your loved ones as instructed? Then get tf into work if you've been instructed to do so, you melt.

[Bernanke]

Prince Charles has it. It will all be worthwhile if it takes out that whole family.

That's at least one crown he actually gets.

[Bernanke]

Spain:
-47610 infected (+7937)
-3434 dead (+738)
-5367 recovered (+1573, the only positive news)

:eyemouth:

[John]

Nicholas Witchell, talking about Charles and Camilla both isolating in Balmoral when he's got the virus and she doesn't, has just said the following; 'Well it's not a huge house, but certainly big enough for them each to isolate within it.'

https://www.royal.uk/sites/default/files/images/feature/balmoral.jpg

Yep, I'm sure they'll manage.

[Ian]

Christ they might only have 50 odd rooms each.

Thoughts and prayers.

[Spikey M]

Queen Meghan incoming.

[Lee]

Thought people weren’t allowed out to their second homes.

[Boydy]

The rich and famous getting tested so easily is a fucking joke.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm as pro royal as they come, got a Beatrice and Eugenie mural on the bathroom wall, but in what world is Balmoral not a huge house?

[Manc]

Weather is trolling the country.

[Yevrah]

And encouraging the idiots.

[Spikey M]

I'm working in the garden. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

My downstairs neighbour just took delivery of a fucking ten foot palm tree. Doesn't he know there's a war on.

[Lee]

The update from Imperial’s modelling is encouraging. Basically, their numbers have been right so far, and we can expect to see a reduction in new cases in 2-3 weeks. Projected deaths under 20k, possibly way under. That’s taking into account current government actions. They also think we’ll not breach UK ICU capacity, but that some areas will become overstretched.

For context, the worst flu season in recent memory, 5 years ago, caused 44k excess deaths. Of course, we didn’t need to largely lockdown for that to be the case so it’s clearly very different. We obviously won’t be back to normal in 3 weeks and we can’t start opening anything up until we have mass testing and contact tracing capability. But it’s something.

Germany and the Netherlands are both saying they expect their new cases to peak next week. Spain are now reporting more new daily cases and deaths than Italy. Also some new research, analysing 100 Chinese cities, suggesting that warmer and more humid weather does slow transmission.

I wonder, once we’re through this, how much it will look to have been a big city/metropolitan region phenomenon. Lombardy-Madrid-London-New York etc.

[Lofty]

I've seen videos of questionable origin claiming to show dead lining the streets in China as proof they're fiddling the figures but might be fake news.

[Waffdon]

Thought people weren’t allowed out to their second homes.

He got dropped off with the RAF on Sunday. What a cunt.

[Raoul Duke]

Weather is trolling the country.


And encouraging the idiots.

Bank Holiday coming up soon :uhoh:

[Waffdon]

Covid-19 is clearly a Socialist. Nationalised hospitals in Ireland. Nationalised the rails in England. Putting private schools and landlords out of business.

[7om]

The update from Imperial’s modelling is encouraging. Basically, their numbers have been right so far, and we can expect to see a reduction in new cases in 2-3 weeks. Projected deaths under 20k, possibly way under. That’s taking into account current government actions. They also think we’ll not breach UK ICU capacity, but that some areas will become overstretched.



Have you got a link to the report?

[Spikey M]

Bank Holiday coming up soon :uhoh:

TTH meet at the ExCel Centre?

[Lee]

Have you got a link to the report?

Best I can do is this:

https://twitter.com/smyth_chris/status/1242760717247434752?s=21

It was a response to a parliamentary committee rather than a report produced.

[Lewis]

I wonder, once we’re through this, how much it will look to have been a big city/metropolitan region phenomenon. Lombardy-Madrid-London-New York etc.

This looked pretty obvious from the regional breakdown of this country. Everywhere other than London is chugging along relatively fine (with pockets in certain areas), and there they are going off into orbit. It's presumably why Holland seems to be punching above its weight in typical fashion.

[7om]

Best I can do is this:

https://twitter.com/smyth_chris/status/1242760717247434752?s=21

It was a response to a parliamentary committee rather than a report produced.

Ah, okay. Thanks anyway.

[Giggles]

All our scheduled testing has been cancelled and the criteria changed for getting one.

[Shindig]

This looked pretty obvious from the regional breakdown of this country. Everywhere other than London is chugging along relatively fine (with pockets in certain areas), and there they are going off into orbit. It's presumably why Holland seems to be punching above its weight in typical fashion.

Aye, although I suspect they'd probably just get on filling in the suburbs. I mean, they already do that with Durham as they look for more places house the students. What's the crack with Sheffield? That place has 130 cases. Is that city pretty dense?

[Lewis]

The city centre is, and it will have ethnics packed three generations to a house like London as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pretty sure all plagues have had those characteristics.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-briton-21-with-no-existing-health-conditions-dies-after-contracting-covid-19-11963451

21 year old with no existing health conditions has died.

[Ian]

"so-called virus."

[Manc]

Size of that forehead. Something was definitely amiss.

[Shindig]

Young doesn't necessarily mean fit and healthy. And this virus has a lottery factor about it. A disease never before seen in humans is going to.

[Luca]

Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer 14

:D

[Lee]

Even flu kills the odd healthy young person. It’s obviously shit, but it doesn’t make the disease super deadly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

"so-called virus."

What does she think it actually is, a velociraptor?

She'll not have died in vain if it scares a few mongs indoors.

[bruhnaldo]

Queen Meghan incoming.

:drool:

[bruhnaldo]

Apparently letters are going around to folks so we can have them in case of "lockdown" to show the police that we are essential!

[Lee]

https://twitter.com/smyth_chris/status/1242803793970020363?s=21

Encouraging. Anti-body tests bought, hope for them to be available next week, online or at Boots.

[Ian]

What does she think it actually is, a velociraptor?

:D

It does say more about her own ignorance than the nature of the thing but yeah, as you say if it gives some twats pause then so be it.

Did you hear the clip of the old woman saying that over the weekend she'd gone shopping then done something else then on Sunday walked down the prom and sat on the beach and visited a friend etc. and after her and the host argued a bit he goes "So you're saying you're prepared to die for a day on the beach?"

"Yes!"

:face:

[Don]

If it's just a DIY test people purchase and do off their own backs, how would it have any impact? Surely it has to be policed by the government who could then log results and officially accredit those who have had it so that they can re-enter society.

[Lee]

She was a right old cunt. Her husband has just had a stroke, she’s visiting 78 year old mates.

‘WE’VE LIVED OUR LIVES!!!’

You’ll be the first demanding a hospital bed as well, no doubt.

[Lee]

If it's just a DIY test people purchase and do off their own backs, how would it have any impact? Surely it has to be policed by the government who could then log results and officially accredit those who have had it so that they can re-enter society.

Fuck knows. We probably have to send it somewhere.

[phonics]

This Brittania lot are going all out to be one of the most hated companies when it gets to the other side of this.

1242823906613960704

[Shindig]

I hope those tests come back more positively than the tests for the virus itself. I'd rather the 'half of us may have already had it' was closer to the truth.

By the sounds of it, NHS workers will get prioritised so they can get staffing back up.

[bruhnaldo]

In comparison, snowbirds from Florida have been ‘strongly urged’ to immediately self-quarantine for 14 days, but many are, of course, going for a shop, getting gas, and visiting friends and family.

Fucking selfish cunts.

It's funny. All the stories coming out of Florida are from people who aren't even from here.

[Giggles]

1242835069703774208


1242790220392730624

[Shindig]

One more week of nothing ahead for me. I was hoping to be back sooner rather than later.

[John]

The governor of NY State is on Sky News right now he seems absolutely top notch. This could very easily be the launching pad for a presidential run on this limited evidence.

[Shindig]

I said the same thing yesterday. It's such a difference to Trump's addresses.

[Josh]

He's not very well liked in NYC normally and has not been great always but has definitely stepped up during COVID19. At least you understand what he is trying to say and is clear with the message.

[Kikó]

Is he Rudy Guiliani-ing it?

[Yevrah]

His press conference the other day "New Yorkers are no different to you, we just got it first" was awe inspiring.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Went to my car to get Coke Zero from the boot and there was a Policewoman roaming the entrance to the station who, I'm guessing, was there to ensure people using the train actually needed to be doing so.

[phonics]

Look I think anyone saying they're a socialist is an eejit but I mean, firing squads were made to be used on people like this

https://i.imgur.com/9y66nj5.png

THE CEO OF WELLS FARGO TELLING ME I NEED TO DIE TO SAVE THE ECONOMY HE FUCKED UNTIL IT WAS A CORPSE?

[Yevrah]

Hopefully a few slaps from her Tazer have been administered.

[phonics]

His press conference the other day "New Yorkers are no different to you, we just got it first" was awe inspiring.

He's scum.

Let's hear what an actual nurse who works in NY thinks about how he's doing.

1242793381568245761

Literally tried to cut 2.5 billion dollars in Medicaid spending 2 weeks ago.

[Boydy]

Look I think anyone saying they're a socialist is an eejit

Lol

[phonics]

Lol

You're not a socialist, you're a lib. Sorry to break it to you.

[Luca]

Above is a microcosm of why “the left” is broken.

[bruhnaldo]

"Socialists" in 2020 are just guys who want to make sure women hear how morally superior they are to others because they "care" about their common man.

[Boydy]

You're not a socialist, you're a lib. Sorry to break it to you.

You're an idiot, sorry to break it to you.

[John Arne]

The Socialist Republic of Vietnam would like to remind you that deep down, we are all socialist.

[John Arne]

Phonics going around telling people what they are, and are not, is lol.

[Yevrah]

Dreadful questions from Kuenssberg

[Alex]

We've acquired "a lot" of the tests but don't want to release them before we establish the accuracy of them. Should we not have established the accuracy of them before we acquired "a lot" of them?

[Lee]

I guess you’d have to go on trust (whoever is making them will presumably be producing some sort of evidence that they work) and no matter what we’d want to test them ourselves anyway. But yeah, please work.

[Alex]

I guess you’d have to go on trust and no matter what we’d want to test them ourselves anyway. But yeah, please work.

Well, yeah. If there's a shortage of them then maybe there's an element of "shit, let's just get a job lot of these in while they're available and hope they work". Jesus.

[Lee]

It does sound like they think the numbers of asymptomatic people might be quite big.

[Lewis]

This NHS volunteer wheeze will be filled in ten minutes if normal sentiment if anything to go by.

Fair play. A healthy surplus as well to replace any fannies overwhelmed by it all.

[Adramelch]

It does sound like they think the numbers of asymptomatic people might be quite big.

I read the Oxford paper and it seemed like a well thought out theory, but we'll only ever know if the antibody testing goes through on a large scale.

Disclaimer: I'm not an epidemiologist.

[phonics]

1242847180039155712

lol

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/CbUqxfD.png

Amigo

[John]

The Sky News ticker just alerted me the existence of a man named Steven Dick, the 'Deputy Head of Mission' for us in Hungary and I was momentarily living for the moment he was promoted. The rest of the ticker then informed me that he'd just died of Corona. It's gone too far now.

[Spikey M]

The Sky News ticker just alerted me the existence of a man named Steven Dick, the 'Deputy Head of Mission' for us in Hungary and I was momentarily living for the moment he was promoted. The rest of the ticker then informed me that he'd just died of Corona. It's gone too far now.

:D

[John]

And now there's a UN bod on named Mark Lowcock. Big day for priapic names.

[Shindig]

Dick Pound must be shitting himself.

[Kikó]

I don't think that's one of the symptoms.

[Yevrah]

37 as well.

[phonics]

1242657146392784896

lol

[Shindig]

3 days to kill him? Was he already in ICU when he said that?

[Spikey M]

Yeah, I'm calling bullshit.

[John Arne]

J.League plan to restart their season on May 9th.

#Football

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our numbers today are a bit on the thin side, I guess Boris really has sent it packing?

[Shindig]

Have we announced any? I've not seen owt from England yet.

[Bam]

Trump showing why successful business men don't make successful politicians. It should be life's first economy later.

[Lewis]

You've changed your tune mister some other company will have my workers. :nono:

[Kikó]

1242905328209080331?s=12

[Giggles]

I’ve avoided the news all day and now I feel too relaxed about all this.

[Disco]

I’ve avoided the news all day and now I feel too relaxed about all this.

Fuck yes, the difference between the last day in the office and today is immense.

[Lofty]

I saw a guy on another forum claiming he is in Milan and how it is still really bad and they are talking about the lockdown lasting until at least July, imploring people to stay in (the majority of that forum's users are yanks so it was more about their inaction so far).

[niko_cee]

13 deaths in the UK has to be some sort of piss-take.

[Yevrah]

13 deaths in the UK has to be some sort of piss-take.

It doesn't include England yet, surely?

[Lewis]

Does Scotland class being over fifty as an underlying health condition?

[Shindig]

And the English votes are in. 28.

[Pen]

We’re in lockdown now until 19.4. We as in the Greater Helsinki metropolitan area. Interesting times.

[Lewis]

We're pissing this. I'll see you in Sports Direct first thing Monday morning.

[Yevrah]

And the English votes are in. 28.

Very, very low.

At this rate the boffins were miles off in how far we were behind Italy, let alone me.

[Yevrah]

We're pissing this. I'll see you in Sports Direct first thing Monday morning.

:D

Genuine lol at that.

[Lee]

Shit to still have 41 dead but every day like this keeps us a bit further behind the Italy trajectory with measures now in place. There is at least reason to hope our peak won’t be as high as they’re reporting.

[Magic]

But didn't we put those measures in to place after Italy at the same point? Wasn't our approach the DO NOTHING for far longer than Italy?

[Yevrah]

Shit to still have 41 dead but every day like this keeps us a bit further behind the Italy trajectory with measures now in place. There is at least reason to hope our peak won’t be as high as they’re reporting.

What are they reporting our peak will be? As I said the other day, based on Italy numbers stabilising/falling already I can't see how we'd have got close to 250,000 deaths, even if we'd actively encouraged it to run riot. And what do they think Italy's will be for that matter?

Not suggesting we should have let it run riot either.

[Yevrah]

But didn't we put those measures in to place after Italy at the same point? Wasn't our approach the DO NOTHING for far longer than Italy?

It's good news, but I genuinely don't get how we're so far behind Spain and France.

[Lewis]

I reckon the virus has seen what it's up against in Britain and seen its arse. What a cowardly little cunt weed. :lol:

That's why. Immunity Means Immunity.

[Lee]

What are they reporting our peak will be? As I said the other day, based on Italy numbers stabilising/falling already I can't see how we'd have got close to 250,000 deaths, even if we'd actively encouraged it to run riot. And what do they think Italy's will be for that matter?

Not suggesting we should have let it run riot either.

They’re going for maximum 20k, possibly substantially less, according the the professor behind the Imperial College modelling. Which is the same modelling that had us hitting that 250k if we did fuck all. That 20k will be the total though, so not the peak, which they reckon is a couple of weeks away.

Again, 20k is is less than half the excess deaths in our worst recent flu season. There’s no comparison because of the action we’re having to take to (hopefully) keep the numbers as low as that. And we will still be opening and closing for ages yet. But it might not end up being anything like as bad as feared.

[Lewis]

The Telegraph reported that twenty thousand with two thirds of them would have died this year anyway, presumably just so niko could bask in it.

[Yevrah]

That's why. Immunity Means Immunity.

Germany are still unbelievably low as well. There's something about this virus, something very significant, that we just don't know yet. I'd put money on it.

Fuck knows what though.

[niko_cee]

Hang on a second, doesn't it take weeks to see the benefits of any action? Don't throw the towel in yet lads. You might still get your mass death. Also, let's not be crediting 'action taken' with any palpable 'results' at this stage either. Two weeks ago we weren't even thinking about sailing the oceans or whatever the term is.

[Lee]

Germany are still unbelievably low as well. There's something about this virus, something very significant, that we just don't know yet. I'd put money on it.

Fuck knows what though.

The Germans aren’t attributing every death with it as death from it. We are.

[Shindig]

Every country has a different approach to lockdowns, quarantines and the reporting of the numbers. France don't report the deaths in care homes, for one thing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want hundreds a day by mid-April or I'm looting Thornton's.

[Yevrah]

The Telegraph reported that twenty thousand with two thirds of them would have died this year anyway, presumably just so niko could bask in it.

There are now no numbers I can see that would suggest we'd have got to anything like 250,000.

Wasn't worth the risk of chancing that, but it took Italy completely unaware and I can't see how they'll get close to even 100,000. They'd have to post the same number of deaths every day until August to do so now. I'm not even sure they'll hit 50k.

I guess the US may show us how deadly it really is.

[Waffdon]

That temporary hospital in London is absolutely fucking massive

[Yevrah]

Hang on a second, doesn't it take weeks to see the benefits of any action? Don't throw the towel in yet lads. You might still get your mass death. Also, let's not be crediting 'action taken' with any palpable 'results' at this stage either. Two weeks ago we weren't even thinking about sailing the oceans or whatever the term is.

There's no towel and I'm genuinely hoping the numbers are as promising as they appear. Especially now people I care about have it.

[Lewis]

Germany are still unbelievably low as well. There's something about this virus, something very significant, that we just don't know yet. I'd put money on it.

Fuck knows what though.

Most German cases are in the south, and it has forced the Bishop of Rome to allow people to talk to the man upstairs in their own homes. We've got a Protestant virus (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2609-Coronavirus-Death-Thread&p=384892&viewfull=1#post384892) on our hands.

[randomlegend]

Germany are still unbelievably low as well. There's something about this virus, something very significant, that we just don't know yet. I'd put money on it.

Fuck knows what though.

There was some chat going on at work the other day that there are two distinct strains and one is MUCH more virulent. If true it may be that the more virulent strain took more of a hold in Italy than it has here.

[Giggles]

Germany are still unbelievably low as well. There's something about this virus, something very significant, that we just don't know yet. I'd put money on it.

Fuck knows what though.

Who knows what’s real coming out of any country?

[Lee]

There’s room for the numbers to get far worse yet. And they will. This is a case of hoping they’re not as horrific as we feared.

The reporting of this is something that needs looking at after all this is done though. The expected number of deaths in the UK this year is something like 630k. So a touch over 1,700 per day. Imagine reporting that every day on the news. In fact, imagine what the fuck it would do to our psyche if they just reported daily winter flu deaths, with the same warning that ‘you’re more likely fucked if you’re old, but it kills 30 year olds too’. We’d go fucking mental.

I understand that this is different, and a bit of fear in the population is probably no bad thing while we try to control the outbreak. But there might be other knock on effects too. Like once we open up the pubs, presumably in the summer, are people really going to flock to them? Or go to supermarkets in the same way? In the same way we’ve rightly decried morons carrying on in recent days and weeks, we are going to have plenty of people uneasy about returning to normal afterwards. And this is likely only wave one.

[Lewis]

Hello, hello, we are the Vallance Boys
Hello, hello, you'll know us by our poise
We're stood in the queue six feet apart
But can still go outside
For we are the Patrick Vallance Boys

[Lewis]

The Ian Webly Singing Section has been furloughed.

[Shindig]

https://grapevine.is/news/2020/03/24/patient-infected-with-two-strains-of-covid-19-in-iceland/

What a great name for a publication.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That slogan they're using is straight out of the Deadly Dom playbook. Lol at all the morons trying to blame this on him the other day.

[Lee]

There was some chat going on at work the other day that there are two distinct strains and one is MUCH more virulent. If true it may be that the more virulent strain took more of a hold in Italy than it has here.

There are definitely two strains, but scepticism about whether they’re so different that one is any more deadly than the other.

[Yevrah]

Who knows what’s real coming out of any country?

True.

And this in China is a complete piss take:


Second, the empirical integrity of the numbers has been repeatedly questioned; just a few days ago officials in Hubei revealed that they didn’t count asymptomatic positive cases or those that didn’t require hospitalisation.

To the point where I reckon they've just chucked that in to keep what they've actually done out of the spotlight.

[Waffdon]

Is it usually 12c at night in March? Coronavirus really is incredible.

[niko_cee]

I understand that this is different, and a bit of fear in the population is probably no bad thing while we try to control the outbreak. But there might be other knock on effects too. Like once we open up the pubs, presumably in the summer, are people really going to flock to them? Or go to supermarkets in the same way? In the same way we’ve rightly decried morons carrying on in recent days and weeks, we are going to have plenty of people uneasy about returning to normal afterwards. And this is likely only wave one.

I doubt there will be much of a lasting societal change in those regards, people like shops etc (although this is one of those things where it is hard to steer a steady course between end of days and lol wot virus?), but I would say it is worrying quite how bang up for a bit of authoritarianism a large slice of the population appears to be.

And the lingering doubt will always be that the Madagascar fuckwits now have the default response position.

[Spikey M]

After will be the same as before. You'll have your Yev's and you'll have your Waffs.

[Lee]

At least 4 of the deaths reported today happened at the weekend. I don’t know if that necessarily means our reporting is crap or responsible for the smaller UK number tonight (presumably in Italy and Spain there was sometimes a lag awaiting test results, post-mortems, family being informed) but worth keeping in mind.

[Manc]

Team Panic to disband by April.

[Yevrah]

At least 4 of the deaths reported today happened at the weekend. I don’t know if that necessarily means our reporting is crap or responsible for the smaller UK number tonight (presumably in Italy and Spain there was sometimes a lag awaiting test results, post-mortems, family being informed) but worth keeping in mind.

Well that might explain a fair bit. Given the timings over announcements (which always seem to be after the press conferences) I'm not sure there isn't a bit of presentational adjustment going on too, but also appreciate that people have more pressing matters to be dealing with.

As for going out again, it won't change anything I do. If it does, the virus wi.. Just fucking with you all. It won't change anything because I'm already gagging for a draught lager and the first one back out is going to be the best pint I will ever have in my life. I'm also going to drink it in a pub garden, even if it's -5 at the time.

[Yevrah]

And the lingering doubt will always be that the Madagascar fuckwits now have the default response position.

if we'd actually gone Madasgar back when this thread started we'd have had a lot less pain, and being an island, we could have done it much easier than most.

As for authoritarianism, it obviously sucks arse for 99% of the time, but I maintain it's quite useful during a pandemic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll give up most of my civil liberties if it means we can have sport back to normal.

[Lee]

Well that might explain a fair bit. Given the timings over announcements (which always seem to be after the press conferences) I'm not sure there isn't a bit of presentational adjustment going on too, but also appreciate that people have more pressing matters to be dealing with.

As for going out again, it won't change anything I do. If it does, the virus wi.. Just fucking with you all. It won't change anything because I'm already gagging for a draught lager and the first one back out is going to be the best pint I will ever have in my life. I'm also going to drink it in a pub garden, even if it's -5 at the time.

It will be because hospitals all report into the centre independently. We are already running well below normal staffing levels due to self-isolation and reporting this stuff is a bit of an after thought. We still have to report all the usual stuff and lots of organisations have lots of different reporting systems so compiling it is likely a pain in the arse for the DH too.

[Josh]

I'm in NYC and my wife works in a small office with 4 other people in a Wework. She has been working from home nearly 2 weeks and has had what I would describe as a shitty cold (runny nose, slight aches, very mild cough) and we thought nothing of it and have been isolating like everyone else.

However, 3 out of her 4 colleagues have been tested and have Coronavirus. The other one is off the radar (probs dead?) so we are assuming that she has it. Considering I have spent nearly every second of the day with her for the last 10 days in a 700sqft apartment it's pretty likely I have it too, right? I have absolutely no symptoms - I did mention in the predictions thread when Offshore tried to off me that I'm invinceable and it's proving right. Or... It's incubating in me and I'll die a slow death soon.

[Lee]

I'll give up most of my civil liberties if it means we can have sport back to normal.

I’m all aboard the play behind closed doors train now having turned my nose up at them at the start of this. I’m even missing MACCA, for fuck’s sake.

[Don]

I'm going to properly OD on that first night of freedom. But it'll save me from having to end it myself given the fucking levels this move to refund my season ticket will have backfired.

"Ooo yeah it's gonna be months of this :drool: :drool:"

Fuck off, you imbeciles, you know how much I love a train.

[Lee]

The amount of time when I was younger that I could be successful and end up having to work in one of the biggest cities, living that dickhead life.

Never has small town suburban mediocrity felt so good. :drool:

[Spikey M]

I'll give up most of my civil liberties if it means we can have sport back to normal.

I'd live off gruel and water if it put my holiday in June back on the table.

I could do with it really. My waistline has taken this shit hard.

[Yevrah]

I'm in NYC and my wife works in a small office with 4 other people in a Wework. She has been working from home nearly 2 weeks and has had what I would describe as a shitty cold (runny nose, slight aches, very mild cough) and we thought nothing of it and have been isolating like everyone else.

However, 3 out of her 4 colleagues have been tested and have Coronavirus. The other one is off the radar (probs dead?) so we are assuming that she has it. Considering I have spent nearly every second of the day with her for the last 10 days in a 700sqft apartment it's pretty likely I have it too, right? I have absolutely no symptoms - I did mention in the predictions thread when Offshore tried to off me that I'm invinceable and it's proving right. Or... It's incubating in me and I'll die a slow death soon.

I'm no medical expert...but I'd be astounded if both you and her hadn't caught it. So I guess well done to your immune system.

On the subject of catching it, do essential workers basically have 100% chance of catching it? The chap who works in my local co-op, for example, how has he got any chance of avoiding it?

[Lee]

Fucking with my summer holiday is the most depressing thing about this for me so far.

[Queenslander]

Cruise ship that docked in Sydney has led to community transmitions on the Sunshine Coast.

Here we go!

[Yevrah]

I'm going to properly OD on that first night of freedom. But it'll save me from having to end it myself given the fucking levels this move to refund my season ticket will have backfired.

"Ooo yeah it's gonna be months of this :drool: :drool:"

Fuck off, you imbeciles, you know how much I love a train.

It will still be months, as we still don't have an exit strategy that's based on anything significantly more than hope. Might be a bit less death than expected though. But also might not be if our numbers are days behind and the Germans are frigging theirs.

[Lee]

The official update is caveated:

‘Please note that this update does not cover a full 24 hour period.’

Well that’s fucking useful.

[Yevrah]

Fucking with my summer holiday is the most depressing thing about this for me so far.

It's my 40th in July and I was planning to go balls deep in renting a properly nice house for family and friends to spend the weekend together in. So being a leading member of Team Panic has saved me that ballache at least as I held off from booking it.

Still, spending my 40th hosting a Zoom chat sounds like about the worst thing in the world, so that's probably the most depressing thing for me so far. Sort of hope it stays that way, but I've reconciled myself to the idea of a big wank sufficing instead of a party now.

[Josh]

I'm no medical expert...but I'd be astounded if both you and her hadn't caught it. So I guess well done to your immune system.

On the subject of catching it, do essential workers basically have 100% chance of catching it? The chap who works in my local co-op, for example, how has he got any chance of avoiding it?

We could get tested I suppose but what's the point? Just clogging up the system with people who aren't exactly ill and also living here, we have no car so would mean Uber/subway to get there infecting everyone we see if we do have it.

I would also be surprised if we don't have it and I'm surprised I don't have any symptoms but if what they're saying about 50% of people having it then I'm actually the majority?

Will update if she/I begin to feel worse but we are lucky that what is going on is very manageable.

[Spikey M]

Fucking with my summer holiday is the most depressing thing about this for me so far.

That and my kids have done me in. Our holidays are typical family oriented, All Inc affairs. My daughter loves them, she has the teddies, the clothes and constantly asks for YouTube videos of Bamse and Captain T on tv so she can dance to it. She remembers past holidays and promises of future ones.

That's bad enough, but she's 4. She is old enough to understand that we (probably) can't go on holiday, but has no idea what is going on. My wife made the mistake of telling her that a bug is going around, and now she thinks that she can't go on holiday, to nursery or next door to see her friend because of a spider or a fly. Theres no explaining it to her.

We get all the tears, sadness and boredom but with none of the understanding. I don't think there's a worse age it could have happened to her at.

[Yevrah]

The official update is caveated:

‘Please note that this update does not cover a full 24 hour period.’

Well that’s fucking useful.

Indeed. Until we know the real one then there's not much that can be read into anything regarding our position.

[Lee]

I would accept a spider going around being a reason for me not being able to go away more readily than this bastard.

A big part of the problem is that it doesn’t feel real. If it stays that way I’ll be grateful.

[Lee]

Indeed. Until we know the real one then there's not much that can be read into anything regarding our position.

Unless they’re hiding 400 bodies we are still a bit further than 2 weeks behind Italy. The not really knowing (which extends to case numbers and asymptomatics) is fucking hideous. As is having no real idea of timeframe. If they just said ‘look it’s going to be about 6 months inside’ I’d be fucked off at being robbed of a summer but at least I can absorb it.

[Yevrah]

We could get tested I suppose but what's the point? Just clogging up the system with people who aren't exactly ill and also living here, we have no car so would mean Uber/subway to get there infecting everyone we see if we do have it.

I would also be surprised if we don't have it and I'm surprised I don't have any symptoms but if what they're saying about 50% of people having it then I'm actually the majority?

Will update if she/I begin to feel worse but we are lucky that what is going on is very manageable.

I haven't read the study on 50% of people being asymptomatic, but I struggle to comprehend how it could have been carried out on a large enough sample size anywhere in the world for anyone to be sure about that. A load of people have definitely had no symptoms though so you could be one. Are you very fit?

[Lee]

Bit personal.

[Don]

That and my kids have done me in. Our holidays are typical family oriented, All Inc affairs. My daughter loves them, she has the teddies, the clothes and constantly asks for YouTube videos of Bamse and Captain T on tv so she can dance to it. She remembers past holidays and promises of future ones.

That's bad enough, but she's 4. She is old enough to understand that we (probably) can't go on holiday, but has no idea what is going on. My wife made the mistake of telling her that a bug is going around, and now she thinks that she can't go on holiday, to nursery or next door to see her friend because of a spider or a fly. Theres no explaining it to her.

We get all the tears, sadness and boredom but with none of the understanding. I don't think there's a worse age it could have happened to her at.

This sounds awful. Truly a white man's For Sama :(

[Yevrah]

I would accept a spider going around being a reason for me not being able to go away more readily than this bastard.

A big part of the problem is that it doesn’t feel real. If it stays that way I’ll be grateful.

Yeah, despite utterly absorbing myself in everything I could consume on it for weeks (or is it years?) now, it only started to feel properly real over the last 24 hours when people I know started to get it.

[Spikey M]

This sounds awful. Truly a white man's For Sama :(

*Mixed Race mans For Sama. Thankfully I've had no difficulty in sourcing Okra or Yam.

[Yevrah]

Bit personal.

I need some material for the 40th.

But beyond that the only people I've heard about with no symptoms are sportspeople and Idris Elba. The former are obviously fit and the latter could probably nut Ebola into submission.

[Lee]

At the minute it staying that way basically means don’t take anybody from either of our immediate families. Anybody else is a bonus.

My self-isolation is done now. Back in tomorrow. I have one meeting, at 9. We’re doing it on Teams. But it’s essential I’m there, in this building where 4 people have died of it and countless others have been in contact with it.

[Don]

My G :cool:

[Yevrah]

If you get it you really need to give it to your boss.

[Josh]

I haven't read the study on 50% of people being asymptomatic, but I struggle to comprehend how it could have been carried out on a large enough sample size anywhere in the world for anyone to be sure about that. A load of people have definitely had no symptoms though so you could be one. Are you very fit?

I'll DM you my pic :flirty:

But no I'm not 'very' fit. I'm not out of shape by any means; play football once a week etc but there's no 6 pack in sight. I'm 33.

This is what I was referring to: https://reaction.life/oxford-study-50-of-uk-population-may-be-infected-already/
I admit I read the headline only but it fits with my experience (if I have anything at all).

[Lee]

Right, the reporting thing. It looks as though yesterday’s numbers were for more than 24 hours, which is why today’s are for a shorter period. So probably the total number is about as right as it can be pending tests/post-mortems, but the line is a bit flatter.

[Yevrah]

Taz, get that season ticket reinstated.

[Boydy]

NHS staff warned to hide ID after spate of targeted muggings (https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/25/nhs-staff-warned-to-hide-id-after-spate-of-targeted-muggings)

Fuck's sake. Some people are just pure scum.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They should be put in a room full of people with the virus who are allowed to cough and spit all over them.

[Lewis]

Them webcams were obviously a gateway into some right kinky muck.

[Spoonsky]

Brazil gangs impose strict curfews to slow coronavirus spread (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/25/brazil-rio-gangs-coronavirus?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1585149400)

Fair play.

[John]

I haven't read the study on 50% of people being asymptomatic, but I struggle to comprehend how it could have been carried out on a large enough sample size anywhere in the world for anyone to be sure about that. A load of people have definitely had no symptoms though so you could be one. Are you very fit?

Iceland plan on testing everyone so they're the ones to watch for those numbers, but as of yesterday they'd had close to six hundred positives, forty of which had come from people showing no symptoms. That puts the number at a shade under seven percent.

The numbers need to be taken with a pinch of salt for now because the whole study is yet to be independently reviewed, but their people are apparently saying they've found forty mutations of the virus within those positives.

[Queenslander]

We are up too 180 000 tests.

[Yevrah]

So Germany is actually 50.


Another 50 deaths in Germany
The number of people with Covid-19 who have died in Germany has increased by 50 to 198, according to official figures.

The number of cases is 36,508 - an increase of 4,995.

The good news the numbers appeared to be showing seems a case of countries very understandably struggling to keep up.

[John Arne]

I find it quite ironic that introverts are so quick to tell everybody that they are introverts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They aren't.

[niko_cee]

Should have stuck to my guns on the first death, whilst we've seen a surge in cases (30 v 16), Jersey have reported the first death. It's a bit of a non-story though as the 'victim' was in their 80s and already receiving end-of-life-care. Coronovirus is the Ruud Van Nistelrooy of death stats.

[Queenslander]

Im finding it very interesting the amount of childless woman complaining that working women are still sending their kids to school.

In the real world my missus has had to step back from a couple of nutcases lecturing her on the subject.

All the local community groups on facebook are full of it as well. I really enjoy the childless uni students offering such hard line opinions.

[Spikey M]

I've binned Facebook for a while. I'm not built to put up with the levels of smugness and indignation on display.

JuSt SaW a WoMaN wItH 3 kIdS gOiNg 4 A wAlK!!!!!!

[Queenslander]

I really only use it for hobby groups which are great but fucked up today go by looking at the timeline.

Ive taken it off my phone untill we can medicate all these people.

[Shindig]

On the subject of catching it, do essential workers basically have 100% chance of catching it? The chap who works in my local co-op, for example, how has he got any chance of avoiding it?

Staff probably have the advantage of not being around one person long enough to contract it. If someone stops you to ask where something is, you're not being held hostage for 15 minutes. Usually. You're probably more at risk from other staff who will now be taking precautions.

[John Arne]

Staff probably have the advantage of not being around one person long enough to contract it. If someone stops you to ask where something is, you're not being held hostage for 15 minutes. Usually. You're probably more at risk from other staff who will now be taking precautions.

On the other hand, they are in constant contact with money, which is presumably fairly covered in the stuff.

[Andy]

On the other hand, they are in constant contact with money, which is presumably fairly covered in the stuff.

Lots of places are card only now, contactless limit is now £45.

[John Arne]

Lots of places are card only now, contactless limit is now £45.

Makes sense.
You guys also need to do away with coins. Join the the future #PlasticCashOnly

[Lee]

Chris Smyth
✔
@Smyth_Chris
· 5m
Death figures update: last night only 28 new fatalities recorded.

Alas this is not good news, it is because there are now so many deaths NHS using a 7.30am cut off instead of 1pm.

So govt looking at changing how they are reported 1/2


Chris Smyth
✔
@Smyth_Chris
We may not get any death figures today, as they are looking at moving to publishing first thing in the morning.

Aim is to give more time to collate NHS data and inform families before ages and locations made public 2/2

FFS

[Foe]

My pals younger brother who picked it up in France escaping Paris is apparently coughing up blood flecks now.

:uhoh:

[thommo]

I'm sure they've been using a 9am cut off for the last week or so.

[Don]

Woken up to a sufficient collection of negative headlines with enough of a global spread for my spirits to be lifted again ✡������

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our warehouse workforce is KICKING OFF today apparently because a lot of the office staff are working from home while they still have to come in. I can see us being shut down fairly soon.

[Spikey M]

Are they planning on taking a section of the Warehouse home each?

[Shindig]

Okay, shopping's lost all convenience now. Our Tescos has a queue stretching round the edge of the car park. Each person is six meters apart because none of them know what six feet looks like. One in, one out policy on entering the shop. You then have to queue in one of the aisles whilst a till gets freed up. My five minute shop took an hour.

Overkill.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

We currently have the workshop open again for 'critical' jobs. How they're defining them I don't know. From next week, us lot in the office will be in on a rota (one at a time) as a point of contact for the workshop.

They're talking about getting back to normal operations again from Monday 6th but I'd have thought there's still potential for more stringent government measures to come in, still early days.

[SincereTheRebel]

Morrisons was like that this morning. Thurday until Sunday is going to be like that now for a while.

[Lee]

I've done fuck all. I've found a room to sit on my own in, and I've participated in the daily team meeting via Teams. Why am I here, for fuck's sake?

[phonics]

1243153542723977216

[Jimmy Floyd]

Are they surprised that Chinese manufacturing churns out a load of cheap toss?

[Bernanke]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUCU4RHXQAAGWyj?format=jpg&name=medium

Weekly US applications for unemployment insurance going back decades. :eyemouth:

[Lee]

Case numbers from Lombardy look shit. About 2,500 new ones, apparently.

[Yevrah]

Case numbers from Lombardy look shit. About 2,500 new ones, apparently.

What were they previously?

[Lee]

Increased by 1,500 yesterday. So a fair jump in the growth rate. Might just be that they're at the peak. And I don't know how long it takes for test results to come through. But it would be nice to see their numbers start to come down, which it had looked like they had been the last 4 days. Numbers will fluctuate even on the way down, I guess.

[John]

Okay, shopping's lost all convenience now. Our Tescos has a queue stretching round the edge of the car park. Each person is six meters apart because none of them know what six feet looks like. One in, one out policy on entering the shop. You then have to queue in one of the aisles whilst a till gets freed up. My five minute shop took an hour.

Overkill.

How are those measures overkill?

[Lee]

Seems about right to me. Supermarkets must be full of it. Even without people inside the items will have been picked up and put down Christ knows how many times by loads of people.

[Disco]

I'm planning a trip tomorrow or Saturday and I'll be gloved up as soon as I'm out of the car.

[Andy]

I am being kept on to cover the emergencies at work, covering a massive area. 5 from 25 kept on the rest have been moved to the 80% wages scheme.

[Shindig]

How are those measures overkill?

It's the distances that get me. It looks absurd to see people 20 feet apart. Last week they were happy to keep people 2 meters away from the till and when you're shopping, you're not standing in one spot minutes at a time. I know it's to stop hoarders but, sure enough, one person ahead of me decided to switch from a basket to a trolley because she wanted to do this dance again as little as possible.

[Spikey M]

I'm calling bullshit on people keeping 20ft apart.

[Shindig]

I wish I was kidding. Stretched out like like they were court-ordered.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-52025918

Mongs still be monging.

[Lee]

There's a middle aged woman with a hacking cough in an office over the corridor. I can hear all the other old Geraldines laughing and joking every time she does it.

'Ooh, social distancing!'

People are still gathering and chatting in the kitchen. Stopping in corridors for a quick chat. What the fuck is wrong with this place?

As for me, I'm off. Fuck this.

[Lewis]

Other than families, the only people I've seen knocking about in groups of more than two have been young people.

[Luca]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUCU4RHXQAAGWyj?format=jpg&name=medium

Weekly US applications for unemployment insurance going back decades. :eyemouth:

Canada's number (with an economy ~1/10th the size of the US) is about ~1M. Dark days.

EDIT: Bernanke, did you pull that off the web or do you have Bloomberg Anywhere access?

[Baz]

Finally succumbed to everyone harping on about this House Party (https://houseparty.com/add/baz9torres) app. :henn0rz:

[Alex]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-52025918

Mongs still be monging.

I read this the other day. I know what has happened there is obviously not remotely funny at all, but I did have a little chuckle at the police apparently having to "tip the barbecue over" the finally get them to disperse. Like that was the breaking point for the mass gatherers. And the picture to prove the barbecue was, in fact, successfully tipped over. :D

[Lewis]

It must have felt ace booting it over and fronting everybody up.