Coronavirus Death Thread

[Lewis]

Peter Jukes is an absolute crank.

[Smjffy]

Peter Jukes is an absolute crank.

Respectfully, I refuse to listen to any opinion you have in this or the USA thread as you've shown yourself up on repeated occasions.

You're like Darren Grimes of TTH.

[phonics]

Sturgeons just released something banning arse to mouth and encouraging you and your partner to have a chat and wank in a corner.

[Don]

Unless I'm missing something with that Rishi article, that's some weak ass fucking attempt to smear him.

[Smjffy]

Unless I'm missing something with that Rishi article, that's some weak ass fucking attempt to smear him.


The change he made for TUPE'd workers (his father in laws business ^^ ) to be included is the exact same thing newstarters were asking for and if he did then millions more would have been secured. He's unqualified for the job anyway and only got it because Sajid Javid developed a temporary conscience. I'm pissed because of the difficulties it's put me in and I'm still going to end up footing the bill but every one of you should be too since you're also going to be paying through the nose for multiple failed schemes.

It's almost deliberate the sort of employers and employees that got fucked. ANyways, meh. I'm going to FM before I wind myself up again. :D

[Lewis]

Respectfully, I refuse to listen to any opinion you have in this or the USA thread as you've shown yourself up on repeated occasions.

You're like Darren Grimes of TTH.

You've basically taken this new starter thing personally, as always, and gone down a rabbit hole full of Twitter whoppers to explain why the government chose to stiff you.

[Smjffy]

You've basically taken this new starter thing personally, as always, and gone down a rabbit hole full of Twitter whoppers to explain why the government chose to stiff you.

You sure it's me taking things personally?

You're wrong anyway because whilst you see it as a new starter thing, I see it as what it is and that's millions of people, employees and employers who have been completely let down. As I've been actively campaigning it for over two months to see and hear the stories get darker and darker. Families being close to eviction, parents being unable to feed themselves or their children, the pitfalls of the supposed benefits (which benefit no one), the sheer desperation in many letters and then to see the responses? That's what's effected me more than anything because like a mug, I give a shit about people, even complete strangers Lewis so if you struggle to relate that's on you, not me.

Father in law gets the change we've been campaigning for. Or the news we've all been waiting for....Nando's. Or being labelled a fraud because potential employers could abuse a system, or collateral damage, or how it's too much of a strain on HMRC....fuck right off. I and so many others have every right and entitlement to be included from new starters, to limited businesses, PAYE freelancers, newly self employed and so on.

[Lewis]

'Yes I have.'

[Smjffy]

Because Lewis said so? Gotcha. :thbup:

You're wrong still but then you've been wrong about most things this last 2/3 weeks in particular so why break a new found habit eh.

Goodnight.

[Shindig]

Bloody hell. Brazil are no longer reporting their figures.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why did a man driving to Durham and not seeing anyone cause OUTRAGE for breaking lockdown, but the completely illegal and (if one believes COVID is still in transmission) hugely dangerous black lives protests in London are not getting a peep except from the bravest of right wing commentators?

I genuinely don't get it. Is racism worse than death? Perhaps it is.

[Foe]

It’s a bit of a moot round circle.

People outraged with the governments handling.
Press continually press government to act and set a standard.
Government tells them to move on and sweeps it under the carpet.
People don’t believe there’s actually any restrictions in place any more and just use their own judgement (read - do whatever they want)
Government unhappy with people but can’t enforce it without PR nightmare so just ignore it.

The press can either embrace the protests or flip the lack of distancing on the government for losing public confidence. Ultimately the second won’t change anything as the government have already made their stance clear. It’ll only really kick in if there’s another serious spike.

Lockdown is a sham. The government doesn’t actually care enough to enforce it.

[Waffdon]

Why did a man driving to Durham and not seeing anyone cause OUTRAGE for breaking lockdown, but the completely illegal and (if one believes COVID is still in transmission) hugely dangerous black lives protests in London are not getting a peep except from the bravest of right wing commentators?

I genuinely don't get it. Is racism worse than death? Perhaps it is.

Lockdown ended after he was caught breaking the rules.

[Yevrah]

Why did a man driving to Durham and not seeing anyone cause OUTRAGE for breaking lockdown, but the completely illegal and (if one believes COVID is still in transmission) hugely dangerous black lives protests in London are not getting a peep except from the bravest of right wing commentators?

I genuinely don't get it. Is racism worse than death? Perhaps it is.

The whole thing is fucked.

I can only assume the government didn't want a repeat of the scenes in the US so had no option but to let it happen. And as for those protesting, one could argue just wait until COVID's no longer a threat, but we all know they won't care enough to be motivated to do it by then.

[Revolution]

Lockdown ended after he was caught breaking the rules.

This. I haven't followed a single lockdown rule since it happened.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lockdown ended after he was caught breaking the rules.

So why are people still walking 2m apart on the pavement, queuing outside supermarkets etc, not visiting friends and family etc? It hasn't ended in the slightest.

[Shindig]

If lockdown was over, I'd be abroad.

[Waffdon]

As in you?

[Disco]

It's not over for anyone with half a brain.

[Waffdon]

If lockdown was over, I'd be abroad.

You can go abroad.

[Shindig]

I mean to countries that aren't infested and without quarantine.

[Don]

Filthy Brit talking about "infested" countries :***)

The mandem are quite correct, even my brother and his missus have put an end to the charade and they're two of the biggest melts going.

[Waffdon]

No deaths in Scotland or Northern Ireland recorded.

[Giggles]

The less in NI the better because half the cunts infest us like a plague in mid July. Especially now that we’ll have pubs and they probably won’t at that stage.

[Kikó]

Just come back from Tesco and the social distancing monitor on the entrance has gone and it was pretty much back to normal (albeit a bit more respectful). The roads are busy, more people are milling about.

I've booked a train to go and visit home next week. Will do all the mask stuff but I don't want to wait for a mystical date where it'll be 'safe' when we've probably passed the safest time with lockdown.

[Lewis]

Why did a man driving to Durham and not seeing anyone cause OUTRAGE for breaking lockdown, but the completely illegal and (if one believes COVID is still in transmission) hugely dangerous black lives protests in London are not getting a peep except from the bravest of right wing commentators?

I genuinely don't get it. Is racism worse than death? Perhaps it is.

If you're in a position where Jimmy Floyd is reading your opinions then yes insofar as being seen to have trendy opinions trumps other people dying. Even The Science can't compete with the performative bullshit complex (see: The Lancet and that drug Trump was previously wittering on about).

[Shindig]

Heh, Scotland just went with the 14 day quarantine. When's your holiday Magic?

[Giggles]

Please let it fuck it up :drool:

[Waffdon]

Heh, Scotland just went with the 14 day quarantine. When's your holiday Magic?

What’s it matter if WFH?

[Revolution]

So why are people still walking 2m apart on the pavement, queuing outside supermarkets etc, not visiting friends and family etc? It hasn't ended in the slightest.

You seen pics of the protest?

[Magic]

Heh, Scotland just went with the 14 day quarantine. When's your holiday @Magic (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=47)?

Irrelevant as I won't be following fuck all. :thbup:

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52959292

I'm sorry, I know it's against the law to criticise our working class football heroes, but he really is a stupid cunt.

[John Arne]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52959292

I'm sorry, I know it's against the law to criticise our working class football heroes, but he really is a stupid cunt.

He does appear to be a bit of a div. Unfortunately, he seems to have a free-pass with a lot of the media now.

[John Arne]

New Zealand seems to be getting a lot of press for being Corona free, whilst countries such as Vietnam are roundly ignored. Interesting.

[Giggles]

New Zealand seems to be getting a lot of press for being Corona free, whilst countries such as Vietnam are roundly ignored. Interesting.

Rob a telly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Probably because NZ has a trendy, dorky, female PM whereas Vietnam has a military junta.

[Kikó]

I think there will always be a bias to English speaking cousins over somewhere in Asia.

[Shindig]

Irrelevant as I won't be following fuck all. :thbup:

Double negative. Conformist.

[Don]

Are those fucking Maori cunts the only ones to be fully back to normal or Vietnam and others also fully operational? Either way, I'm pissed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It can't be long surely. The various events of the last 2-3 weeks have taken the edge off it completely.

Just give me gatherings of 10 indoors and 50 outdoors or something and I'm golden.

[Don]

*100 indoors and 500 outdoors

Do it in the name of the blacks, at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pubs open for outdoors only from 22 June, they say.

In England, of course.

[Yevrah]

OMG, I'm on annual leave that week!

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm fucking not.

[Waffdon]

Pull a sicky.

Scotland records no new deaths again. This phase stuff better be sped up if this trend continues

[Giggles]

Be the last place you’d want to be anyway. If mongs are queueing for hundreds of yards for ikea then imagine what the pub will be like.

[Disco]

I wouldn't have been going in normal times so sure as fuck I won't be there this summer. We had a four person bbq on Saturday, refreshing to see a couple of friends in the flesh again, I reckon it doubled the number of actual people I've seen in the last two months (work twats do not count).

[Giggles]

Apart from seeing the parents I'm sorry it's over. One thing for sure is that I'll never set foot in any kind of shop again.

[Magic]

Pull a sicky.

Scotland records no new deaths again. This phase stuff better be sped up if this trend continues

She won't, she'll probably increase it on the basis IT'S WORKING just to undermine Joris again.

[Yevrah]

Be the last place you’d want to be anyway. If mongs are queueing for hundreds of yards for ikea then imagine what the pub will be like.

Oh it'll be awful, no doubt, but if I'm off all week I'm going to find somewhere at some point that isn't horrendous.

[Waffdon]

She won't, she'll probably increase it on the basis IT'S WORKING just to undermine Joris again.

If she wanted to be power hungry she could just go the opposite. Phase 3 from next Thursday will do me.

[Kikó]

Apart from seeing the parents I'm sorry it's over. One thing for sure is that I'll never set foot in any kind of shop again.

I've actually missed some clothes shopping (I hate buying new stuff online) and actually want to pick some things up for the house but want to be inspired by Ikea's combinations. I'm missing already the quieter roads. You can already breath the difference.

[Giggles]

No you can’t.

[Disco]

Being able to wander across previously busy junctions has been nice, as has cycling roads you would never use normally. I conclude life would be far nicer with less of you cunts about.

[niko_cee]

I'm hoping we're fully back to normal bar travel by the (re)start of the football. Next Wednesday penciled in for a binge.

Pubs are open regardless, but it's table service only which is a bit meh, well, not the table service per se, just the idea of having to sit at a table rather than be around the bar, and the limited capacity. 39th day of no new cases and going on a fortnight without any detected presence of ze virus at all so I reckon there's a chance.

[Yevrah]

Have you New-Zealand'd it there then Niko?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Funnily enough, I went to a local pub near me in February before all this kicked off. Proper sort of trad one by the river, I'd been going up to that same bar to order for a decade or more, although it also does (pretty meh) meals as well to boost its income. I was with a mate who was looking after his baby for the day so it was two blokes and a pram - they probably thought we were a pair of homosexuals. I guess they'd have been half right. Anyway, because of the whole pram situation we got ourselves a table sorted out and got the thing parked next to it before going to the bar to order drinks. As it was, I didn't even have the chance to go to the bar because some girl had come over and said 'Any drinks for you guyz?' - they'd introduced blanket table service in the whole place that month.

It felt weird, French and I'm not sure I liked it.

[Yevrah]

Providing it didn't take an age to get served or to settle the bill I'd take table service in a heartbeat.

[Kikó]

Do what Weatherspoons have done and order through the app to your table.

[Don]

I was going to say, has Spoons not done that nationwide or are you fucking bellends not worshipping at the church of Tim Martin?

[niko_cee]

Have you New-Zealand'd it there then Niko?

Yeah, although we locked down a day after the UK (I think) and probably had more cases per capita when we did (so no 'earlier in the progress of the virus' caveats), so other than good observance (there is a high level of lockdown fanaticism) and the ability to properly shut the borders I'm not sure what has saved us other than good luck and the fact we're a tiny little quite remote place.

[Spikey M]

You're fine as long as it doesn't descend into the Legendary Banter of posting your table number on Facebook and lolling yourself silly because Gregg and the lads sent you a bowl of pea's and a bottle of Reef.

'Hahahaha! everyone must think you're MENTAL'. No Gregg, they think his mates are unoriginal turbomongs.

[niko_cee]

And definitely no remotely ordered bananas.

[Giggles]

You don't do sitting at the bar much over there do you? That's the bit that I'd miss too much to bother going. Sitting at the low tables is for women.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-kent-47661487/abused-amputee-four-learning-to-walk

Captain Tom can go fuck himself. Amputated due to abuse as a baby, Jesus, one hopes it would have been too early to cause mental trauma althpugh not sure that works given he has to carry the most obvious of effects with the knowledge.

[Don]

You don't do sitting at the bar much over there do you? That's the bit that I'd miss too much to bother going. Sitting at the low tables is for women.

This is something I've never understood why England actively discourage. Well actually, it's probs a wise move to discourage lone drinking but still.

[Giggles]

Bar staff in England are very "computer says no" anyway so they probably don't want to have to engage in any conversation.

[Kikó]

Sitting at the bar is directly linked to how well you know the pub. Plus you don't want to block the bar from others trying to get a booze.

[mugbull]

Sitting at the bar is purely for alcoholics or people with no friends

[Waffdon]

Purely dependent on how many people you’re out with. I’ll sit at the bar assuming there’s room if there’s only 2 or 3 of you.

[Magic]

Sitting at the bar is purely for alcoholics or people with no friends

This, or it's mid-week behaviour, less student nights of course. ;)

[Don]

Sitting at the bar is purely for alcoholics or people with no friends

Ya, that's that Gen-Z TikTok-ridden mentality that prevents it from being encouraged. Thankfully their anxiety attacks will have them housebound sooner ratger than later and the act will return to our drinking establishments.

[thommo]

Sitting or standing at the bar is ok as long as you aren't directly hindering others getting served. What pisses me off are the grumpy old cunts who insist on sitting on a stool when it's rammed, whilst they sup their 8th Ruddles of the day. They're the real fucking menace.

[Waffdon]

This, or it's mid-week behaviour, less student nights of course. ;)

Both times I’ve seen or been with you you have been standing at the bar :D

[mugbull]

Ya, that's that Gen-Z TikTok-ridden mentality that prevents it from being encouraged. Thankfully their anxiety attacks will have them housebound sooner ratger than later and the act will return to our drinking establishments.

Yeah i really love hanging out with my mates in a single-file line for the whole night

[Magic]

Both times I’ve seen or been with you you have been standing at the bar :D

Well I have to order the drinks somehow. :youpi:

[Giggles]

Mongs.


1269933785451241473

[Waffdon]

Well I have to order the drinks somehow. :youpi:

Jollys in less than 2 months :drool:

[Giggles]

Both times I’ve seen or been with you you have been standing at the bar :D

Standing at the bar is better than sitting at it anyway.

[Waffdon]

Well it’s usually too busy to sit anyway. Sitting usually occurs for Champions League nights

[SvN]

I'm not surprised at the queues for IKEA, given how absolute shite the website is. It took me 3 days to be able to place an order for delivery.

[Giggles]

Half the cunts in the queue are probably 'working from home'.

[Kikó]

Why do you care?

[Kikó]

Sitting or standing at the bar is ok as long as you aren't directly hindering others getting served. What pisses me off are the grumpy old cunts who insist on sitting on a stool when it's rammed, whilst they sup their 8th Ruddles of the day. They're the real fucking menace.

Links to my notion of knowing the pub before you do this.

Those pulled pint stuff is just down right shite - only one I have liked is Doom. It tastes flat on taste.

[Giggles]

Why do you care?

Why does anyone mention anything that does't directly affect them? Don't be that cunt.

As an aside, there's not a chance a large quantity of them aren't breaking travel guidelines.

[Kikó]

No, I mean why do you care if some people might be taking the piss 'working from home'?

[Giggles]

No, I mean why do you care if some people might be taking the piss 'working from home'?

It's an observation. But, like I said, why go down that route at all? You could pull apart most of the posts on the history of this website using that snipey little logic.

[Waffdon]

It’s not that deep, mate.

[Manc]

Get some fresh air, Giggles.

[Kikó]

Yeah :cab:

I don't understand resentfulness if someone might be taking advantage of working from home.

[Spikey M]

It should be commended if anything. Taking the piss out of the corporates. :cool:

[Giggles]

Yeah :cab:

I don't understand resentfulness if someone might be taking advantage of working from home.

You’ve really jumped on this one. Not a peep from you when I call a whole queue of people going to Ikea mongs, but once I suggest they could be dodging work the face has gone red. I can only surmise I’ve touched a guilty nerve.

[Kikó]

Okay not really but namaste.

[Don]

Guys we really need to do a whip-round for some new toxic rivalries on here, there's only so much of a shift Giggles can put in. Your work won't go unrewarded, son. I'll drag the statue down but still, you're adding the sort of dimension I need in my TTH life currently.

[Giggles]

Okay not really but namaste.

I won't tell anyone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Teehee.

[Lewis]

Drinking at the bar is for igor and his mad mates trying to impress the cringing barmaid with dead baby jokes.

[phonics]

Lewis meanwhile would be sipping on a milk In the corner telling anyone who will listen about the time he owned Al0n 7 years ago.

[Spikey M]

Drinking at the bar is for igor and his mad mates trying to impress the cringing barmaid with dead baby jokes.

Only when he's not sending a pint of Calpol to table 24.

[Lewis]

Alan owned himself, so nobody would be interested in that.

[Shindig]

I might book that extra week in September after all.

[Queenslander]

ABC Perth with a nice bit of trolling.

https://i.ibb.co/cDWf5n3/FB-IMG-1591686372471.jpg (https://ibb.co/wMnGHmg)
upload images (https://imgbb.com/)

[Kikó]

Wait until you guys get Windows XP. Honestly, game changing.

[Waffdon]

7 deaths in Scotland reported so basically 7 since Saturday. Jesus. I’ve also just realised beer gardens can open in phase 2 which should start next Thursday.

The wee dyke better not bottle this.

[Magic]

7 deaths in Scotland reported so basically 7 since Saturday. Jesus. I’ve also just realised beer gardens can open in phase 2 which should start next Thursday.

The wee dyke better not bottle this.

She's already bottled it saying that nothing will change until the 18th. She's mentally ill.

Was up in the O&G estates in THE DEEN today, fucking hell it was absolutely desolate. Entire industry decimated.

[Waffdon]

She's already bottled it saying that nothing will change until the 18th. She's mentally ill.

Was up in the O&G estates in THE DEEN today, fucking hell it was absolutely desolate. Entire industry decimated.

Well I wasn’t expecting anything to change until this ‘phase’ me was over anyway. Pubs in Edinburgh might be best bet for a piss up.

[Shindig]

Stuff opens on Monday. I can probably think about a haircut and some new shoes. And erm ... masks and shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hairdressers aren't included, much to my chagrin.

[Foe]

She's already bottled it saying that nothing will change until the 18th. She's mentally ill.

Was up in the O&G estates in THE DEEN today, fucking hell it was absolutely desolate. Entire industry decimated.

Everyone is working from home.

Offices pretty redundant.

You’re not wrong though. House prices in Aberdeen are going to collapse (again). If I still have a job, could get a bargain in the next 6 months.

[Waffdon]

Betting shops opening a day before Royal Ascot in England. Christ.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-52975934

Man, what a run.

[Kikó]

Betting shops opening a day before Royal Ascot in England. Christ.

Dido will be happy.

[Lofty]

When I worked in a Working Man's Club behind the bar the corner set up with a couple of stools and seats to facilitate drinking at the bar was known as 'Death's Corner' :D

[Don]

That's pretty good.

I see they're talking of Nightingale schools now which presumably is the only way you're going to get the schools open short of getting them in on a shift rota. Get the fucking little cunts injected with the virus and locked into a 14 day camp, you limp-wristed fuckwits.

[Manc]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jun/09/man-fighting-for-life-after-covid-19-crisis-delays-nhs-cancer-scan

How dare you.

[Shindig]

So ... America's reopening appears to have kicked off second waves in 14 states.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah but they have FREEDOM once again.

[Giggles]

Sorted.


1245653862804893697

[John Arne]

Absolutely staggering (to the point when I sometimes feel like these people are trolling) that a grown adult can still think like that.

[Shindig]

It's now 21 US states showing a spike. Mass gatherings like weddings and funerals are being considered a factor. That's before whatever backlash from the protests hit.

[Don]

Ironically, BLM has actually given the man a nice lifeline from the 2nd wave.

[Disco]

If I get another month off because crusties in Bristol binned a statue of someone nobody had heard of then I might have to re-evaluate them. Perhaps baling twine as a dog lead was the answer all along.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The whole farrago has definitely taken the heat off Boris/Cummings here.

[Kikó]

:sherlock:

Also managed to hide the "track and trace" fiasco being "live" but not live. My friend has been working track and trace for a fortnight and not been given a single name to call for £200 a shift.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon when Cummings went to Barnard Castle, the real purpose of his trip was to visit a time travel porthole, go back to 1670 and tell Edward Colston to get involved in the slave game. 24D chess.

[Ian]

:sherlock:

Also managed to hide the "track and trace" fiasco being "live" but not live. My friend has been working track and trace for a fortnight and not been given a single name to call for £200 a shift.

So have they just been getting paid to sit twiddling their thumbs then?

[Yevrah]

So have they just been getting paid to sit twiddling their thumbs then?

Yep, my mate's wife is doing it.

Not a single call to be made sent to her yet. Same for her best friend who is also doing it. Not doing it.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jun/10/are-you-immune-the-new-class-system-that-could-shape-the-covid-19-world

Immunity passports seem back on trend. Those coronavirus parties sound like a good excuse for debauchery :drool:

Release the antibody tests already ffs. I was waiting for that but I may phone GP this week and arrange a visit regardless as I'm past day 100 of anosmia with little sign of improvement.

[Kikó]

Yep, my mate's wife is doing it.

Not a single call to be made sent to her yet. Same for her best friend who is also doing it. Not doing it.

Welfare by stealth.

This is an incredibly wasteful government considering how much they imposed austerity on the populace.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This government hasn't done austerity and has no interest in it. Pre-covid they were all about building stairs to the moon and introducing fire in Yorkshire. Post-covid they have bailed everyone out in a way many Conservatives would hate.

The Cameron lot trying to cut costs, yeah.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So have they just been getting paid to sit twiddling their thumbs then?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52904433

Yeah.

[Spikey M]

1270730651113869317?s=19

[Don]

Presumably we would have reduced it even further had we not decided to pop out to get our dicks wet, too.

[Disco]

We were a couple of weeks late is hardly a hot take at this point, blindingly fucking obvious even at the time.

[Waffdon]

Presumably we would have reduced it even further had we not decided to pop out to get our dicks wet, too.

Free reign from this weekend by looks of it.

[Spikey M]

We were a couple of weeks late is hardly a hot take at this point, blindingly fucking obvious even at the time.

Half the deaths is a big claim though.

[Shindig]

Especially as the lockdown we did do had no border control to it. Seems that most of the infections we picked up in the initial stages were from Spain, France and Italy.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52993734

Almost none of it from China, it seems.

[niko_cee]

We're lifting all covid-related restrictions from June 20th.

:joy:

None of you cunts are welcome though, sorry.

Widespread John Arne level of smugness, our head honcho is going on about 'leading the world' right now. :face:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was evidently mistaken when I said PM of New Zealand was the easiest world leader job going.

Boris is coming under ferocious pressure to reduce the 2m social distancing to 1m, god bless 'the scientists' and their wheel of fortune public health policy.

[Spikey M]

1270771353289928712?s=19

Captures it pretty well

[Jimmy Floyd]

It really is magnificent nonsense.

My parents can see me indoors, but only because I'm single - my partnered up brother and my married sister will have to wait in the garden.

However, if my mum stays at home, the rest of us can all go for a game of basketball.

[Manc]

Now is not the time for cultural appropriation.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/20/James_Naismith_at_Springfield_College_circa_1920.j pg/800px-James_Naismith_at_Springfield_College_circa_1920.j pg

The inventor of basketball. Our game was stolen from us.

[Yevrah]

It's basically done, yet we're somehow managing to fist the unravelling of it all as well.

And what the fuck is with "here's a nice thing you can now do, but you can't do it immediately, you need to wait for an arbitrary amount of time before you can" seemingly being the approach to all of the rules being relaxed.

Seriously, what is the logic behind it? Why does our approach to this and most of what our scientific advisers say make no sense at all? Is it some form of experiment?

Absolute joke.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The civil service (and Twitter, actually) is set up to view the world as a series of evidence-based transactions, rather than as a place where people just do what feels right for them right now.

The panic stage feels a long, long time ago.

[Ian]

I assume you're looking for a more nuanced answer than 'base incompetence'?

[Lewis]

Apparently our parent organisation is functioning 'normally', that is to say meeting all of its legal requirements, with three quarters of its staff still sitting at home. That is the sort of thing people need to be thinking about not having the balls to get things back to normality.

[Don]

These test and trace stats are very positive (gonna go wank at some leftist twitter wankers as a result) even with all that Netflixing. Now let's out the snitches.

[Shindig]

Yeah, 70% for asymptomatic carriers is encouraging.

[Don]

I meant the amount of melts they've managed to convince to isolate but that stat they quoted caught my ear too. He said it was to do with an ONS study, I'll have a look at it tonight but that seemed very off and cause to OPEN THE FUCKING BEER GARDENS if that's true.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, 70% for asymptomatic carriers is encouraging.

70% what? I missed that. 70% are asymptomatic?

[Shindig]

According to an ONS study, yes. To be more specific, they said 70%-80%.

[Spikey M]

That blows only 7-8% of people having had it out of the water then, surely?

[Shindig]

Y'see, that's where it gets fun. You might remember a couple of nights back the WHO concluded asymptomatic people aren't thought to be as infectious. Then they retracted that statement 3 hours later. :D

[Magic]

Economy shrank by 20+%. OYFT.

[Don]

Had been over 3 months since I'd experienced the intersection between female interaction and oral cavity intrusion and let me tell you, it did not disappoint today :drool:

[Kikó]

I hope he was gentle.

[Disco]

Can you still get a good deal on those toothbrushes?

[John Arne]

https://gyazo.com/7ac313e1d1c5fcedda8a6a25f10e475a.jpeg

[Spikey M]

You're acting like a right little bitch about this.

[SincereTheRebel]

I hope he was gentle.

:D

[Giggles]

You're acting like a right little bitch about this.

Especially for a blow-in.

[Spikey M]

Especially for a blow-in.

Blow In?

[Giggles]

Blow In?

He’s very defensive of Vietnam when he’s not Vietnamese.

[Spikey M]

He’s very defensive of Vietnam when he’s not Vietnamese.

Ah. He's a Mert.

[John Arne]

Cracking banter.

[John Arne]

Meanwhile, in Beijing...

1271654154155388930

[Giggles]

Cracking banter.

It’s hardly banter. It’s interestingly odd is all, we didn’t mean to hurt you.

[John Arne]

It’s hardly banter. It’s interestingly odd is all, we didn’t mean to hurt you.

It's not that odd. I've lived here for almost 15 years, so yeah, of course i'm probably gonna mention it when we've been so successful in fighting corona (whilst being largely ignored). That's it, really. I'll hold back the tears (just).

[Shindig]

They're completely right. You referred to Vietnam as 'we' the other day and I had to remind myself you're from Crewe.

[John Arne]

They're completely right. You referred to Vietnam as 'we' the other day and I had to remind myself you're from Crewe.

Yup. Lived here for most of my adult life, so sometimes refer to Vietnam as 'we'. I really don't see what the issue is here.

[Spikey M]

No issue. You're just being a tart and it's funny.

[Don]

You're getting it from three heavyweights here JA, I'd heed their guidance.

[Spikey M]

You're on thin ice too, Captain Iran.

[Giggles]

I’m just shocked that Taz seems to have constructed a sentence in plain English.

[John Arne]

In other news, Brazil has managed to overtake the UK in absolute numbers. Who would have thought that Bolsonaro and Trump would be 1 and 2...

[Shindig]

Seeing those crosses knocked down was something else. "Stop this silly leftist nonsense." Brazil's fucked.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Finally lost patience and cut my own hair today, using kitchen scissors and a beard trimmer. Bodged up the back a bit (as you would, not being able to see or feel anything) but rescued it to maybe a 3/10, and from the front I look fine.

Fucking hell, though, just open the fucking salons.

[Yevrah]

I mean, really don't. It'll spread like wildfire.

Just shave it all off, there's a pandemic and other real talk happening. Nobody cares about your hair.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I really don't think it will. If it was going to spread like wildfire it would already be doing so from all the 'illegal' stuff people are doing every day.

[Giggles]

Hairdressers and barbers are one of the most unessential things in the world. The fact that it’s a manky procedure means they should all be locked up until everyone is vaccinated.

[Yevrah]

I really don't think it will. If it was going to spread like wildfire it would already be doing so from all the 'illegal' stuff people are doing every day.

I'm all for opening (some) stuff up, but the level of complacency sweeping the nation right now (presumably because they've not been personally touched by this - neither have I, I should add) is moronic.

[Lewis]

Finally lost patience and cut my own hair today, using kitchen scissors and a beard trimmer. Bodged up the back a bit (as you would, not being able to see or feel anything) but rescued it to maybe a 3/10, and from the front I look fine.

Fucking hell, though, just open the fucking salons.

You can't be that far off the horseshoe stage, and from what I remember you're not completely unable to grow any sort of beard, so why not take this opportunity to move/resign yourself to the tried-and-tested slaphead/beard combination?

[Spikey M]

Hairdressers and barbers are one of the most unessential things in the world.

Especially for Mr Burns up there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can't be that far off the horseshoe stage, and from what I remember you're not completely unable to grow any sort of beard, so why not take this opportunity to move/resign yourself to the tried-and-tested slaphead/beard combination?

I've had a (longish stubble) beard for a wihle for that reason, but I don't have a head you can shave.

[Lewis]

Can you not buzz it right down like William Hague?

[Giggles]

The rise begins. Who could possibly have seen that coming?


1271844674991521792

[Manc]

Fucking hell, though, just open the fucking salons.

This. I'm approaching Christopher Walken levels.

[Lewis]

The sides need some attention before it gets a bit Dirty Harry but I might keep it a bit longer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I had a full head I'd keep going forever, but as a balding man you can't have a mane at the back and sides.

[Magic]

The rise begins. Who could possibly have seen that coming?


1271844674991521792

:rolleyes:

[Giggles]

If I had a full head I'd keep going forever, but as a balding man you can't have a mane at the back and sides.
The Hulk Hogan.

[Giggles]

:rolleyes:

What now you little parasite? Elaborate.

[Pepe]

We are planning a socially distanced, safe-as-can-be, soccer “kick-around” - NOT A GAME - to allow folks to get outside and pass the ball around. We will be following the current MLS rules for socially safe soccer, which use cones to establish personal zones that are separated by 6’ corridors. Some of their graphics are pasted below, but we might also find a way to make our own safe structures, like a live Fooseball table!

https://league-mp7static.mlsdigital.net/images/field1-1.png

:harold:

As if I am going to bother with that.

[Spikey M]

How did your video call silence go?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A live Fooseball table!

Sounds wonderful.

[Pepe]

How did your video call silence go?

:D

Didn't attend that shitshow, obviously.

[Spikey M]

:D

Didn't attend that shitshow, obviously.

:nono:

[Kikó]

I'm absolutely delighted to be in Manchester.

[Giggles]

I’m sure it’s delighted to have royalty back too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

dots.

[Smjffy]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XzAujyzN9JxpUl9rN7EIIX0AlgaXL8rE/view

I'll never understand how people vote for this man or the conservatives. Labour aren't the answer either but christ we're a mess.

[Kikó]

I’m sure it’s delighted to have royalty back too.

The open top bus was a big success.

[Lofty]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XzAujyzN9JxpUl9rN7EIIX0AlgaXL8rE/view

I'll never understand how people vote for this man or the conservatives. Labour aren't the answer either but christ we're a mess.

Blame New Labour. I saw some geezer on facebook the other day trotting out the old 'the left get voted in and make a mess so the right have to come in and fix it' line, I pointed out to him New Labour definitely werent left wing so the last time the UK had a left wing government was five decades ago. But the average man on the street is convinced it's those bloody lefties that got us here.

I'm not saying a left wing government is the answer but when we're in a situation where centre right is considered a bit namby pamby it's no real surprise we are stuck with a bunch of inept turbo cunts.

[Waffdon]

Marcus Rashford is the greatest person on this planet. What a bloke.

[Don]

Fair fucking play, never struck me as the type to be so capable and principled. He's elevated his football this season too so sign me up to the fan club.

[Queenslander]

My local pub the Australian National is open for 2 or more people depending whats available. Seated drinking in a well lit room is a bit too pleasant for me atm. The pub has also been flooded with yuppy scum as well because their wine bars arent open yet.

[Queenslander]

Also the People's Republic of Queensland has thrown it's weight behind John Arne and Veitnam in response to the slander on page 204.

[Shindig]

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-us-cases.html

Watch that map fill up with domestic travel.

[Waffdon]

The queues for Primark :D

[Boydy]

I don't know why they don't offer online shopping. They'd make a killing from it, surely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Would probably get nobbled on the returns and have to employ another 4 million people to deal with them.

[Queenslander]

I feel like a King.

https://i.ibb.co/1fqH9fn/20200615-203130.jpg (https://ibb.co/27tXj76)

[Spikey M]

Slag.

[Don]

Ban the cunt.

I woke up to this ffs:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/jun/14/what-could-a-physically-distanced-uk-look-like-after-lockdown

[Jimmy Floyd]

'The new normal' is a load of half-baked bollocks that certain types of people are desperate to adopt in order to control others. Humans can't exist without 100% freedom to be spontaneous.

[Magic]

Ban the cunt.

I woke up to this ffs:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/jun/14/what-could-a-physically-distanced-uk-look-like-after-lockdown

This will be the work of autism bots like Shindig and losers like Giggles. Worry not lads it'll all be back to normal soon.

[Waffdon]

Phase 2 on Thursday, Magic :drool:

[Yevrah]

There's a colossal amount of bullshit talked about the permanent changes this will bring about.

Offices, for example, exist for a reason. If you want a load of disengaged employees with more loyalty to their spare rooms than your business, then by all means close them, but you'll only be opening them back up again when the effects of that start to manifest itself.

[Don]

Some cracking footage of Nike on Oxford Street. It looks like a BLM protest minus the hipster white faces.

[Queenslander]

I will happily give character references.

[hfswjyr]

I hate to rub it in, but I was also in the pub tonight =)
Unfortunately the occasion was to talk about potential downsizing of the team =(

[Boydy]

This will be the work of autism bots like Shindig and losers like Giggles. Worry not lads it'll all be back to normal soon.

Don't you piss yourself at airports?

[Magic]

Don't you piss yourself at airports?

I did the first time I had to fly to London solo, but not subsequently.

[Spikey M]

Don't you piss yourself at airports?

And actually have Autism.

[Magic]

And actually have Autism.

I have diet autism.

[Manc]

How's the pegging going?

[Magic]

Not done it yet.

[Queenslander]

I hate to rub it in, but I was also in the pub tonight =)
Unfortunately the occasion was to talk about potential downsizing of the team =(

How bloody good was Super Rugby Aotearoa?

[Jimmy Floyd]

To be fair to Boris on this Rashford stuff, if he starts letting largely disappointing versatile forwards set government policy it's a bit of a tough precedent. What happens when Luke Varney wants to bring back hanging? What happens when Demarai Gray calls for a tax amnesty? You can lead yourself into tricky situations.

[Kikó]

Obscure Cheltenham Town forward reference. So Jimmy.

[Giggles]

Thick cunts like sports people should probably just stay quiet about real life.

[Shindig]

This will be the work of autism bots like Shindig and losers like Giggles. Worry not lads it'll all be back to normal soon.

I'm not a big fan of queues, to be honest.


I did the first time I had to fly to London solo, but not subsequently.

:D

[mugbull]

Thick cunts like sports people should probably just stay quiet about real life.

But you’re a thick cunt too, so maybe you should do the same?

[Giggles]

I'm not a big fan of queues, to be honest.



:D

Enjoying queueing is sadist behaviour.

[Shindig]

It's just time wasted which is why everyone will sack it off as soon as someone on high gives the thumbs up. Time is money and everybody's balance sheets are shit.

[Giggles]

Most people can’t behave regarding queueing anyway, which is what makes it the worst.

[Spoonsky]

'The new normal' is a load of half-baked bollocks that certain types of people are desperate to adopt in order to control others. Humans can't exist without 100% freedom to be spontaneous.

Have you heard of laws?

[Shindig]

Laws don't exactly prevent dumb shit. They just punish the act and, in some cases, make it theoretically harder to do.

[Giggles]

It’s a strange one to come out with for someone who seems to have followed every regulation of this to the absolute letter.

[Spoonsky]

What I'm saying is that we've never had '100% freedom to be spontaneous' as long as the law exists.

[Pepe]

Being spontaneous for Jimmy is to order a large latte instead of a small one.

[Spikey M]

Have you heard of laws?

Have you lot got anti-spontaneity laws?

[phonics]

Have you lot got anti-spontaneity laws?

Cops literally beat the shit out of a black guy for Jaywalking yesterday, so yes.

[Queenslander]

I feel like a King.

https://i.ibb.co/1fqH9fn/20200615-203130.jpg (https://ibb.co/27tXj76)

Overall shit experience Ill be more than happy to wait untill they open up properly.

[Baz]

What’s this talk of China starting wave 2 like mad lads?

[Yevrah]

It’s a very contagious disease. That hasn’t changed just because people have lost the fear and are comfortable about getting back to normal.

[Giggles]

Hopefully it makes it this far so we can get back to lockdown again.

[Giggles]

John Arne has the champers out.


1272784228044935169

[Ian]

Overall shit experience Ill be more than happy to wait untill they open up properly.

This feels like it's building up to one of those confusing online reviews.

"Felt like a king. 2/5"