Coronavirus Death Thread

[Magic]

I need to write to my MP to confirm if a really big puddle can suffice.

Your tears?

[Don]

https://twitter.com/SebastianEPayne/status/1259831796088344581?s=20

Seems like a decent enough summary.

Bubbles a possibility at the 1st June Step Two stage. The logic of allowing meeting up with one outside but no more is peak COVID era nonsense. Buzzing to see that policed, too.

[Manc]

London needs bombing.

[Shindig]

Just wait for the next train, man.

[niko_cee]

The next train is always busier.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is no next train, on the tube. There is the same train, 200 times a day, packed to the gills.

[Don]

I'd love to rim Starmer and his analytical approach to debate. This is the competent shit we live for.

[Kikó]

If we could stagger start times, then you'd get a better flow but they don't so you can't.

You can't ask people to go to work and then complain that they're doing exactly that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What did they expect? For all of those to suddenly have a car they can use to get to work?

[Spikey M]

If we could stagger start times, then you'd get a better flow but they don't so you can't.

You can't ask people to go to work and then complain that they're doing exactly that.

That's his genius keeks. He has his get out of jail free card because he said not to use public transport, so it's the fault of the plebs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1259858076880044035

Okay...

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/StXJiiS.png?1

I'm not sure what is melting my head more - the complexity of the guidance or the government wanting us all dead. Either way, I've taken my car off the road, and I expect to be paid to never work again rather than risk it on a bus.

[Baz]

Probably for the good of your posture, really.

[Manc]

Can't wait to celebrate Independence day down the local.

[Yevrah]

Lol at the document recommending covering of faces. You could have gone with common sense at every stage of this issue and you'd have had a much better hit rate than our scientific advisors.

[Don]

What's this party political broadcast by Starmer about? Man's bopping in with his designer suit matching his aryan eyes and immense hairline to run riot in our homes.

[Kikó]

Are you stalking the man ffs?

[Don]

Turns out this is another random BBC decision to allow it. That's some strange fucking shit, are the lizards plotting a coup within days or something?

[Jimmy Floyd]

There needs to be a public inquiry into how Keir Starmer's hair is still looking like that in lockdown.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meanwhile, my crosshairs are now homing in on these NIMBY wankers: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-52615443

Try living in a fucking backwater town or estate in the arse end of a city somewhere and trying to complain about an 'influx of visitors'. Living in a pretty area doesn't give you more rights.

[Waffdon]

Boris will get a second bout soon enough and go back into hiding the pathetic cunt

[Dark Soldier]

Boris drags himself out of bed at three in the afternoon, sludging his way through strewn Monster Munch packets and empty cans of Dr Pepper, unruffling his four day old suit and sliding into it like a viscous liquid and leaving his hair unkempt before plonking himself in front of the camera, wiping the crust from his eyes and reading off an autocue. The editing occurring everytime he thumps his fists on the desk in fear of a word he both doesn't understand and can't pronounce.



He's the leader we all deserve.

[Don]

The mental gymnastics on the news trying to decipher the rules is beyond satire.

The fucking geezer is putting out "you can even go pick up the grandchild" before being pressed on it and clarifying "if they're old enough to walk at a 'socially distanced distance and pace'" :D

And if Wales decide to fine some fine Englishman for breaking the STAY AT HOME guudance by driving into Wales for a walk, I'd love to see the legal loopholes concerning that.

[Dark Soldier]

Its been nice knowing ya lads.

[Lewis]

I bet the mooching fringe don't shut their borders tight enough to stop our money getting through.

[Smjffy]

Turns out this is another random BBC decision to allow it. That's some strange fucking shit, are the lizards plotting a coup within days or something?

I saw today that it used to be a regular thing that the leader of the opposition gets to address after the leader. At least it was like that with Thatcher and Callaghan but a little before my time.

[Smjffy]

Boris will get a second bout soon enough and go back into hiding the pathetic cunt

Boris's speech after winning the GE hasn't aged too well but then we knew that was going to be the case.

[Don]

I saw today that it used to be a regular thing that the leader of the opposition gets to address after the leader. At least it was like that with Thatcher and Callaghan but a little before my time.

Yeah I retract that as it seems to be standard protocol.

[Waffdon]

No new cases in Tayside since Saturday. :cool:

[Magic]

No new cases in Tayside since Saturday. :cool:

PO bar sesh?

[Waffdon]

Watch Heineken be £5 a pint when we get back into the Holy Grail.

[Queenslander]

I haven't seen Boris' speech yet, but I will admit I had a good laugh at how unclear the Australian PM's lockdown speech was on 24th March.


https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/mar/25/its-not-working-scott-morrisons-late-night-coronavirus-messages-to-the-nation-only-sow-confusion

Some other highlights:







The video and transcript is here:
https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/N_9jnLq2smVNEl1tEIB4xn6h7xtjldZDbAAGXjn5mSHIYtz4XT jRFridDMLnUcgYxl8UecMGkbWkTZtacY1C44W4bG0?loadFrom =PastedDeeplink&ts=214.9

:D

Luckily the States are carrying most of the weight.

[Spikey M]

I can't remember who it was, but someone in here claimed that CoronaVirus isn't seasonal. Well, I thought at the time 'why has the Southern Hemisphere dealt with this better then?', but I let it go because we have been fucking useless.

I've now seen the below showing the 1918 pandemic getting started in the Summer, before, well... let's just hope it really isn't seasonal.

1259537742419169281?s=19

With Spanish Flu I think it was probably mostly to do with troop movement, etc. But it does make me wonder what will happen come October.

[Queenslander]

I can't remember who it was, but someone in here claimed that CoronaVirus isn't seasonal. Well, I thought at the time 'why has the Southern Hemisphere dealt with this better then?', but I let it go because we have been fucking useless.

I've now seen the below showing the 1918 pandemic getting started in the Summer, before, well... let's just hope it really isn't seasonal.

1259537742419169281?s=19

With Spanish Flu I think it was probably mostly to do with troop movement, etc. But it does make me wonder what will happen come October.

I cant recall anyone down here saying it is seasonal.

[Spikey M]

Presumably we'll find out during what passes for winter down there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What is the evidence we are making the 'same mistakes' as 1918-19? Did they take any preventative measures whatsoever? We have shut society down and have 100 years' worth of exponential medical improvements.

[Spikey M]

Make no mistake, I'm using the chart to show the waves and ask about seasonality. Nothing further. We quite plainly haven't made the same mistakes.

[Queenslander]

Being able to shut down state and regional borders and having a bi-partisan National Cabinet making all the big decisions has made Scomo look like a genius. When in reality he is one lucky cunt coming off the back of the bush fires where people wanted to beat him senseless.

[Magic]

What is the evidence we are making the 'same mistakes' as 1918-19? Did they take any preventative measures whatsoever? We have shut society down and have 100 years' worth of exponential medical improvements.

Lying to each other about numbers and blaming others?

[Spikey M]

Lying to each other about numbers and blaming others?

The problem with Spanish Flu was the war. All the governments involved kept schtum for fear of knocking morale, productivity and giving the enemy knowledge of it. That's how it got so out of hand and is hopefully a freak event / perfect storm that won't be repeated. Probably a good job Trump didn't carpet bomb Iran in January.

It's still lol that the Spanish get the blame for it all because they were the only ones being in any way transparent about it. When in reality it came from Shitnock, Alabama or similar.

[Shindig]

Not only was troop movement a factor but the virus targeted younger people.

[Boydy]

Furlough scheme extended until October.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Much celebration in my team's whatsapp group. Fuck them all to hell.

[Waffdon]

What’s the change from July to October? Half and half with the employer?

Bailed out the banks no problem.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No change, still 80%.

[Spikey M]

I look forward to my taxes going up to pay for all this when I've got fuck all out of it.

[Lofty]

No change, still 80%.

Initially BBC reported as a change at the end of July but that has disappeared?

[Waffdon]

2/ From August to October the scheme will continue, for all sectors and regions of the UK, but with greater flexibility to support the transition back to work.

Employers currently using the scheme will be able to bring furloughed employees back part-time.

3/ We will ask employers to start sharing, with the government, the costs of paying people’s salaries.

Cheeky bastards

[Lewis]

It reads like they will crank down the support for people who aren't prevented from working, and there is also an annex with the entire Treasury team lolling over a Five Guys at Smiffy's posts projected on the wall.

[Baz]

Furlough scheme extended until October.

So it’s not safe for Jimmy’s mates to go back to desks, selling tractor turbines over the phone, UNTIL OCTOBER, but children and teachers are safe as houses to go and spend all day together from 1st June? :harold:

[Lewis]

Jimmy's mates could go back tomorrow.

[Smjffy]

I genuinely feel sick to the stomach watching that. At least three questions on newstarters and he ignored two but the third answer suggests fuck all will change.

I'm in a whole world of trouble if that's the case. :( It's so sad.

[Kikó]

I look forward to my taxes going up to pay for all this when I've got fuck all out of it.

Boo fucking hoo. Sorry for holding up society.

[Yevrah]

Extending the furlough scheme until October is not remotely consistent with the provisional dates on the road map.

There is no plan to get out of this, we are truly fucked.

[Don]

Free monies till October, I can absolutely see no reason how that will have any detrimental impact on the lives of those it's meant to protect. Fucking hell, the lols when these cunts get their comeuppance and are crying about the state of their lives for the next decade for these decisions.

[Smjffy]

I look forward to my taxes going up to pay for all this when I've got fuck all out of it.

Well, this is another thing that makes no sense to me. Just myself personally, I pay more in tax and NI each month than I am even eligible for with Universal Credit so surely keeping as many people in work as possible ensures that when we do come to repay this back then we all are.

It's not right that people miss out now but equally it's not right that those who have benefited will then get screwed later down the line by supporting millions of unemployed, if of course they don't end up unemployed themselves.

[Kikó]

So it’s not safe for Jimmy’s mates to go back to desks, selling tractor turbines over the phone, UNTIL OCTOBER, but children and teachers are safe as houses to go and spend all day together from 1st June? :harold:

Kids aren't really carriers of the virus so it's not the same.

[Spikey M]

Boo fucking hoo. Sorry for holding up society.

Haven't you got a bail out to be applying for?

[Yevrah]

Actually, and having just read past the headline, if they're asking employers to share the cost come August that's when it effectively ends.

[Lofty]

Kids aren't really carriers of the virus so it's not the same.

Unless you're being sarcastic, kids are actually super spreaders because they're asymptomatic.

[Don]

Kids aren't really carriers of the virus so it's not the same.

Source?

[Yevrah]

Kids aren't really carriers of the virus so it's not the same.

I heard this alluded to yesterday, by our scientific experts and it set my bullshit detector racing. What is this claim actually based on?

[Baz]

Unless you're being sarcastic, kids are actually super spreaders because they're asymptomatic.Indeed.

[Don]

This seems the best summary

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-01354-0

Basically, no one has a clue. Get the fucking schools open.

[Kikó]

Evidence is therefore emerging that children could be significantly less likely to become infected than adults. On the other hand, children could have a more transient upper respiratory infection with minimal viral shedding, or the less likely scenario of showing minimal symptoms despite significant viral shedding. A further key question is the ability of infected children to spread SARS-CoV-2. A collection of international family clusters found that children were not likely to be the index case in households, only being responsible for around 10% of clusters.9 Data from Guangzhou have supported this, finding an even lower rate of children as index cases in households at 5%.8 A case study of a cluster in the French Alps included a child with COVID-19 who failed to transmit it to any other person, despite exposure to more than a hundred children in different schools and a ski resort.10 In New South Wales, Australia none of 735 students and 128 staff contracted COVID-19 from nine child and nine adult initial school cases despite close contact.11 In The Netherlands, separate data from primary care and household studies suggests SARS-CoV-2 is mainly spread between adults and from adult family members to children.12

https://adc.bmj.com/content/early/2020/05/05/archdischild-2020-319474

[Smjffy]

Data from Guangzhou have supported this.....because any data from China can really be trusted. :D

[Kikó]

Alright Donald.

[Baz]

So the key is to just have one teacher per school. Okay.

[Magic]

Just open the fucking dentists FFS.

[Lewis]

The teachers want mass sacking, like when Ronald Reagan donned the air traffic controllers.

[ScousePig]

So the key is to just have one teacher per school. Okay.

If the plan comes to fruition, most staff will need to be in every day as each classroom will be being used.

[Manc]

The recession is going to be relentless.

[Foe]

The recession is going to be relentless.

What’s happening with your situation Manc? Found anything alternative or stuck?

All these bastards getting 80% pay to have a summer off are laughing. :(

[phonics]

I’m working longer hours than I’ve ever had to work so I’ve just started sleeping in and working into the night instead.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there anyone else here for whom absolutely nothing has changed at any point, work-wise?

I might have lost all my colleagues but for me personally, aside from the increased workload, almost nothing has changed. Same commute, same hours, same desk, same everything.

[Manc]

What’s happening with your situation Manc? Found anything alternative or stuck?

All these bastards getting 80% pay to have a summer off are laughing. :(

The last date change made me applicable for furlough pay which the company has agreed. Peak bastard.

[Smjffy]

What’s happening with your situation Manc? Found anything alternative or stuck?

All these bastards getting 80% pay to have a summer off are laughing. :(

You need to stop looking at it like that. They aren't bastards purely because they were fortunate enough to be entitled to be eligible and it's all very well sitting back and enjoying your summer thinking life is gravy but I can imagine a huge portion of those furloughed are still spending it on bills and general living expenses so it's not like they are gaining, they are still losing 20% of their usual income and what many won't realise at the moment is when the scheme ends, they might be well and truly fucked.

Those who got furloughed by former employers won't have jobs as those jobs technically don't even exist now, those furloughed with current employers don't know if they'll have a job to go back to, even those who do might find that hours are reduced, business reduced etc so that 80% furlough might be even less by time they come off it and start working. After today also with the news that employers will be asked to contribute after July...that's going to lead to layoffs.

I legit can't see too many laughing by time this is done.

[phonics]

Is there anyone else here for whom absolutely nothing has changed at any point, work-wise?

I might have lost all my colleagues but for me personally, aside from the increased workload, almost nothing has changed. Same commute, same hours, same desk, same everything.

Not much aside from hours/location. I've been referred to as a Creative Director multiple times externally which would be a 100k pay-bump so that's going on the performance review.

[Don]

Be surprised if the 20% cut isn't offset by the savings of not having to go to work but your general point is valid.

[Baz]

Even if it would put my job at risk, as in whether or not they’d even want me back in five months, I feel like I’d be absolutely buzzing to be told I’m furloughed til October.

I suppose that’s easy to say when I’m currently working at about 25% my usual capacity and getting paid full whack while mostly watching This Morning, Wheeler Dealers and Peppa Pig.

Not having to check emails and be on video calls would be good right now though. I keep thinking I could use some holidays and have a proper break but I know come December or whatever, if everything’s back to normal and I’ve already used my holidays when I’m practically on holiday anyway, I’d regret it.

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-52616071

That cunt wants hanging. Captain Tom could trigger the drop on the BBC, like when the lottery draw used to be a big deal.

[Boydy]

Yeah, saw that earlier. What a fucking cunt.

Will he get charged with murder now?

[niko_cee]

Doubt it, but it probably brings together a number of interesting legal fields for future student generations.

[Raoul Duke]

Surely there's lots of precedent with things like intentionally infecting people with AIDS or whatever?

[Magic]

Surely there's lots of precedent with things like intentionally infecting people with AIDS or whatever?

But how do you prove he had it and she didn't contract it elsewhere? Completely different.

[Spikey M]

But how do you prove he had it and she didn't contract it elsewhere? Completely different.

How do you prove I gave you the aids when I raped you and it wasn't some bint you bashed?

[Manc]

Gubbed v2.

[Luca]

But how do you prove he had it and she didn't contract it elsewhere? Completely different.

If you were able to prove that he had it, you could pursue “attempted xxx.” I imagine that the offence is less that you transmitted it, but that you knowingly attempted to.

Paging our resident lawyer, Mert.

[Smjffy]

God help us when the pollen kicks in. Having hay fever will be like walking around town with a machine gun.

[Lofty]

More than likely laddo didn't have it anyway and is gonna get bummed for the crime of being a clever cunt. Which is good enough.

[Shindig]

If this gets spitting outlawed outright, we've turned a corner as a society.

[Giggles]

What’s your scheme over there then? 80% of your wages (flat basic I assume)? That’s not bad at all.

[Shindig]

I think it's 80% with a limit of £2,500 a month.

[Giggles]

I think it's 80% with a limit of £2,500 a month.

Ah, I didn’t know about the limit. Still a better setup than our 350 quid.

[Magic]

How do you prove I gave you the aids when I raped you and it wasn't some bint you bashed?

They'd be tested presumably. I'd they had AIDS too fair enough. Incomparable.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even if he didn't have Corona he's a vile cunt for spitting in someone's face.

[Magic]

Even if he didn't have Corona he's a vile cunt for spitting in someone's face.

Who said otherwise? He should be punished to fuck but not murder etc.

[Spikey M]

They'd be tested presumably. I'd they had AIDS too fair enough. Incomparable.

Maybe you gave me the aids.

[Andy]

What’s your scheme over there then? 80% of your wages (flat basic I assume)? That’s not bad at all.

It's not 80% of basic its 80% of your average pay from the same month last year.

[Giggles]

It's not 80% of basic its 80% of your average pay from the same month last year.

Decent. They could have easily got away with just basic if they’d done that seeing as shift allowances, benefits, overtime, etc never count for anything else.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Who said otherwise? He should be punished to fuck but not murder etc.

Manslaughter though...

[Magic]

Manslaughter though...

Not his fault she was fat.

[Giggles]

1260275146549420034

[Spikey M]

Sometimes I wonder how his autism went undiagnosed for so long.

[Kikó]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-52616071

That cunt wants hanging. Captain Tom could trigger the drop on the BBC, like when the lottery draw used to be a big deal.

Incident happens on 22 March, BTP launch investigation today. Good work.

[Lofty]

That's rapid response by the BTP standards.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Incident happens on 22 March, BTP launch investigation today. Good work.

Might have been able to do more had there been better CCTV coverage.

[Kikó]

yeah not a great example considering it happened in fucking LONDON.

[Shindig]

A day before Lockdown. Clearly that hindered the swift hammer of justice.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/12/millions-with-health-conditions-at-risk-from-covid-19-if-forced-back-to-work

Obesity? Smoking induced COPD? Nigga we don't mind funding the NHS for your selfish decrepit ass but the KFCs have well and truly come home to roost now, you cunts.

[Lewis]

I saw some corking stats (https://twitter.com/cjsnowdon/status/1260276658721951746) on that earlier. I would like to know more about the younger healthy deaths, but it seems to me to support the thinking early doors of just shutting old people and weaklings away while the rest of us just wash our hands a bit more.

[Magic]

Public sector pay freezes coming up. Clap that you cunts. :harold:

[Giggles]

Public sector pay freezes coming up. Clap that you cunts. :harold:

The fact you take such joy in the misfortune of anyone apart from yourself says a lot about how things work out.

[thommo]

Is there anyone else here for whom absolutely nothing has changed at any point, work-wise?

I might have lost all my colleagues but for me personally, aside from the increased workload, almost nothing has changed. Same commute, same hours, same desk, same everything.

Yeah, nothing has changed at all for me, or my partner. Both still in 5 days a week, doing our usual hours. Only thing that changed was the daycare we use - had to be relocated to another nursery across the other side of town which is a bit of a ballache.

[Magic]

The fact you take such joy in the misfortune of anyone apart from yourself says a lot about how things work out.

Yes, because that's what I was laughing at.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The problem they are going to run into is that taxing the rich/symbolic wealth taxes etc aren't going to cut the mustard in terms of take, they're going to need to raise income tax in all probability. They could raise VAT but I don't really see what that would achieve.

[Shindig]

So you're laughing at the ... public who ... don't have any say in public sector pay?

EDIT: Raising VAT. Did it ever go down after hitting 20% after the financial crisis?

[Magic]

So you're laughing at the ... public who ... don't have any say in public sector pay?

EDIT: Raising VAT. Did it ever go down after hitting 20% after the financial crisis?

Never heard of a vote?

[Andy]

So you're laughing at the ... public who ... don't have any say in public sector pay?

EDIT: Raising VAT. Did it ever go down after hitting 20% after the financial crisis?

Still 20%.

It's going to be a hard balancing act for Sunak, cant just go balls deeps in raising tax as that will just stop people spending and the economy wont get going again.

Could almost do with cutting a few things for a short time to get people spending and then slowly ramp things up.

Can see him going to go from everyones favourite Tory to the most hated man in Britiain very quickly.

[Don]

Piketty sights Japan and Germany after the war as examples of taxing the wealthy to sort shit out in his Guardian piece. I could see such measures finally being taken given the state of things both financially and in terms of the general public mood :drool:

[Yeldoow]

Is there anyone else here for whom absolutely nothing has changed at any point, work-wise?

I might have lost all my colleagues but for me personally, aside from the increased workload, almost nothing has changed. Same commute, same hours, same desk, same everything.

Other than being off sick at the start of all this, it's been absolutely business as usual.

[Don]

This hoo-ha about care home deaths, is it just another pointless excercise in finding something to cry about due to not grasping numbers? Are the care home deaths not included in the ONS (https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/deathsregisteredweeklyinenglandandwalesprovisional/weekending1may2020) all deaths figure? If they are, STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT COVID DEATHS YOU CUNTS but if they're not, as you were.

[Waffdon]

Starmer is going to get Johnson to resign. I can feel it in my pepperoni nips

[Magic]

Starmer is going to get Johnson to resign. I can feel it in my pepperoni nips

Bullshit he's a pap.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My boss has come up with the startingly hot take - scorching, scalding take - that it was the right decision to send all old covid patients into care homes because they're a burden on society and of no more use.

[Waffdon]

My gran got taken into hospital last night after collapsing (overdosed on her pills I presume) and they’ve had to take her into the Covid unit for tests because she coughed a few times. Is it that easy for a test?

She’s 80 and hasn’t left the house or had anyone in for over two months. Just speaks through window and picks shopping up from her door so there’s no chance she’s got it.

[Magic]

My gran got taken into hospital last night after collapsing (overdosed on her pills I presume) and they’ve had to take her into the Covid unit for tests because she coughed a few times. Is it that easy for a test?

She’s 80 and hasn’t left the house or had anyone in for over two months. Just speaks through window and picks shopping up from her door so there’s no chance she’s got it.

She probably will now if that's where they've taken her...

[Manc]

Alright, Geoff.

[Yevrah]

Is anyone else's internet absolute arse during 9 to 5 and then perks up after 6?

It's gotten progressively worse over the last 3/4 weeks for me, to the point now where it's a struggle to conduct a call on Teams without the red triangle of bad connection appearing.

[Don]

Step 2 of the Bill Gates plan to accelerate 5G. Research on that.

[Magic]

Is anyone else's internet absolute arse during 9 to 5 and then perks up after 6?

It's gotten progressively worse over the last 3/4 weeks for me, to the point now where it's a struggle to conduct a call on Teams without the red triangle of bad connection appearing.

VM is ok but I've noticed my colleagues on other connections are barely able to share their screens without lag and delay.

[Yevrah]

I know nothing of how this works, but could my ISP be throttling my bandwith during working hours to share more internets around?

[Disco]

Mine has been fine (barring a couple of drops at the end of April that was Virgin messing about) but it is needlessly fast so I don't tend to notice if the speed drops for a while.

[Magic]

I know nothing of how this works, but could my ISP be throttling my bandwith during working hours to share more internets around?

Possibly, or could be the other ends. Other issues are load on the platforms i.e Teams/Slack/Zoom etc. Throw in all the furloughed cunts streaming shit and it's a nice recipe for congestion.

[Waffdon]

Virgin Media has been a bit shit but I think it’s more to do with my work server not coping with 700 odd folk on it from laptops. Going from two monitors and a desk to a laptop in bed is the only downside to working from home.

[Boydy]

I'm on Virgin Media and apart from that one day where they had outages across the UK, it's been absolutely fine.

[Kikó]

if only we all had free internet.

My hyperoptic connection is the bollocks.

[Yevrah]

Phoned my ISP and it's sorted. Woman sounded so hot. I've been indoors too long.

[Boydy]

Phoned my ISP and it's sorted. Woman sounded so hot. I've been indoors too long.
:lol:

[Spikey M]

"Well you've doubled my bandwidth in more ways than one"

[Jimmy Floyd]

My colleague always used to go on about certain women on the phone sounding like they have big tits. Is it a thing? Sounds like bollocks to me.

[Waffdon]

It’s definitely a thing.

[Spikey M]

You can tell from Stormzy's voice alone that his cock has Jermain Defoes beaten by atleast 4 inches.

[Baz]

It’s definitely a thing.

Yep.

When I worked in an optical lab I used to ring the supplier for complex lens orders. If I got Sam it was a good day. She sounded like she looked like Joanna Lumley’s slaggy little sister.

[Disco]

I don't think I've ever inferred vital statistics from a voice but some obviously sound hotter than others. Video calls/conferencing will kill this stone dead.

[Magic]

Virgin fucked again.

[Boydy]

You probably shouldn't document your crimes online.

[Magic]

You probably shouldn't document your crimes online.

:henn0rz:

[Don]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXpYi9ZXkAYdIRR?format=jpg&name=medium

Organised all over the gaff from London through to Scotland by some right-wing nutters. Bit early for top turnout but weather looks spot on so this should be good :D

[Queenslander]

Australia's death count is 98 and I just realised I still dont know a single person who has had it. I only know of someone who has had using degrees of seperation.

Queensland > New Zealand

[Kikó]

Hyde Park twatfest should be good. I'll be there.

[Spikey M]

Hopefully they get the water cannon over from Northern Ireland again. :drool:

[mugbull]

It’s always the right wingers being idiotic and antisocial, isn’t it? Left-wing idiocy extends to about as far as insisting on paper straws, which is cute, but the righties seem always to be living in an Ayn Rand fever dream

[Queenslander]

It’s always the right wingers being idiotic and antisocial, isn’t it? Left-wing idiocy extends to about as far as insisting on paper straws, which is cute, but the righties seem always to be living in an Ayn Rand fever dream

Our senior right wingers a nonces. George Pell and Alan Jones loved abit of grooming over the years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can get on board with people opposing the lockdown if they want to (though I don't necessarily agree), but anyone who is into anti-vax should be summarily imprisoned, and I'm serious about that.

I'm realising at the moment that the government in this country has made a big mistake this week which is to officially state that money is more important than love, this I think will be its ultimate undoing.

[Kikó]

My mate is anti-vax. I bet he gives his baby a fucking vaccine though the hypocritical shitstain.

[Queenslander]

All the League players will bend the knee.

[niko_cee]

Wouldn't he then, by definition, not be anti-vax?

[Kikó]

Wouldn't he then, by definition, not be anti-vax?

You could say these values are flexible.

[Spikey M]

Vaccines should be mandatory and forced if necessary.

Also, anyone who has refused on their childs behalf and said child has gone on to suffer / die from a preventable disease (or gives one to someone else that does) should face criminal charges from child neglect to manslaughter.

[Spikey M]

You could say these values are flexible.

The more stupid the belief, the less flexible it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you don't give your kids vaccines they should be taken into care. It's literally exactly the same as either threatening to, or actually beating them.

[Yevrah]

You're in your mid-20's and you're faced with the choice of having a vaccine that's been rushed through or taking your chances with a virus that probably won't do much to you personally?

It's going to be a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.

[Spikey M]

You're in your mid-20's and you're faced with the choice of having a vaccine that's been rushed through or taking your chances with a virus that probably won't do much to you personally?

It's going to be a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.

I take that point. This is more difficult because of the rushed nature of it, so I can understand the concern to an extent. I'm talking more generally.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're not going to put something into mass use before it's been tested. These people might bungle the admin side of things but they're not trying to kill you.

[Yevrah]

And it's funny how we set our values on things. We're probably all in favour of vaccines on here, primarily because they protect people. Which is exactly what the lockdown and CCTV also offer, but both of those have had plenty of dissenters here over the last couple of weeks.

[Yevrah]

They're not going to put something into mass use before it's been tested. These people might bungle the admin side of things but they're not trying to kill you.

They don't have to be trying to. People make mistakes. And let's be real on this, those publicly flying the flag of science on this one have had an absolute shitter so far.

I'm not saying I agree with people not taking it, I'm not saying I won't take it, but that doesn't mean I can't see that there will be a fuckton of people who won't go near it unless forced.

[mugbull]

And it's funny how we set our values on things. We're probably all in favour of vaccines on here, primarily because they protect people. Which is exactly what the lockdown and CCTV also offer, but both of those have had plenty of dissenters here over the last couple of weeks.

You can eradicate a disease save for one person who refuses to get vaccinated, they get the disease, and then they re-spread it throughout society. I wouldn't really care that JimBob doesn't want a vaccine if it didn't mean that suddenly everybody else was now at risk due to his obstinacy

[mugbull]

And let's be real on this, those publicly flying the flag of science on this one have had an absolute shitter so far.


:harold:

[Magic]

Lol @ Mahow using the Covid vaccine to justify his diet autism.

[Yevrah]

:harold:

If you need me to go through the list I will. But just as a starter for 10. The WHO, the World Health Organisation advised against closing airports and borders when this thing was just getting going.

And I'm the one who gets a Harold emoji. You couldn't make it up.

[niko_cee]

And it's funny how we set our values on things. We're probably all in favour of vaccines on here, primarily because they protect people. Which is exactly what the lockdown and CCTV also offer, but both of those have had plenty of dissenters here over the last couple of weeks.

Isn't this because everything requires balance (ie utilitarianism reigns supreme)? Vaccines are, as far as I know, by and large extremely positive with few negative consequences. The cost-benefit analysis is massively one-sided.

Shutting down society and/or permanently spying on everyone probably has a much greater level of malignancy associated with it, hence why they are different.

I personally don't think vaccines should be mandatory, but I think the state should strongly disincentivise that choice - say by making eligibility for public schooling conditional upon it? It is a bit tricky though, people are allowed to have idiotic beliefs, unfortunately. I suppose in the medical consent area Jehovah's Witnesses aren't allowed to impose their idiotic beliefs on their children (in terms of not allowing things like blood transfusions) so maybe you could say vaccines are similar to that.

[niko_cee]

You can eradicate a disease save for one person who refuses to get vaccinated, they get the disease, and then they re-spread it throughout society. I wouldn't really care that JimBob doesn't want a vaccine if it didn't mean that suddenly everybody else was now at risk due to his obstinacy

Is that how it works though? Don't you need a lot more that 1 person to spread it - and isn't the spreading only to those who aren't vaccinated? Hence why we try to stop the spread of the MMR illnesses because those who can be badly affected (the very young) can't be vaccinated fully until they are 1 or 2?

As to Yev's other point about people being wary of vaccines - isn't this one essentially going to be a type of flu jab? Are there any known or even alleged issues with existing coronavirus vaccines? Not Bill Gates wants to chip your blood or big pharma want to secretly sterilise everyone.

[Magic]

Just watched someone visit HK from France.

Self testing, 8 hour isolation until results in the airport, if negative big orange lanyard to say so, if not 14 days isolation. GPS bracelet for tracking and government written App that runs 24x7 and sends all data to govt. Mandatory masks. Alerts authorities if you break any quarantine or lockdown rules.

Sorry but inject the Corona in to my veins if that's the case.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just watched someone visit HK from France.

Self testing, 8 hour isolation until results in the airport, if negative big orange lanyard to say so, if not 14 days isolation. GPS bracelet for tracking and government written App that runs 24x7 and sends all data to govt. Mandatory masks. Alerts authorities if you break any quarantine or lockdown rules.

Sorry but inject the Corona in to my veins if that's the case.

This is exactly right.

There was a fawning documentary on Channel 4 last night about how the Koreans have dealt with it (similar to the above but more so). Trust me, I know these people inside out, if we start pinning their way of life up on the wall as some sort of ideal we are truly fucked. Glass ceiling for women in society, no one is allowed to answer back to anyone older than them, highest suicide rates in the world... there is nothing good to come of it.

[Yevrah]

That assumes that if we adopt those measures temporarily we'll somehow be stuck with them for life and morph into Korea as a result.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That assumes that if we adopt those measures temporarily we'll somehow be stuck with them for life.

Ankle tagging the population and making them put their symptoms (even if none) into an app three times a day? It's just not going to happen unless the people are already of a certain mindset.

[Kikó]

Isn't this because everything requires balance (ie utilitarianism reigns supreme)? Vaccines are, as far as I know, by and large extremely positive with few negative consequences. The cost-benefit analysis is massively one-sided.

Shutting down society and/or permanently spying on everyone probably has a much greater level of malignancy associated with it, hence why they are different.

I personally don't think vaccines should be mandatory, but I think the state should strongly disincentivise that choice - say by making eligibility for public schooling conditional upon it? It is a bit tricky though, people are allowed to have idiotic beliefs, unfortunately. I suppose in the medical consent area Jehovah's Witnesses aren't allowed to impose their idiotic beliefs on their children (in terms of not allowing things like blood transfusions) so maybe you could say vaccines are similar to that.

Why?

[niko_cee]

That assumes that if we adopt those measures temporarily we'll somehow be stuck with them for life and morph into Korea as a result.

Income Tax and the Official Secrets Act were temporary measures brought in during times of emergency.

[mugbull]

If you need me to go through the list I will. But just as a starter for 10. The WHO, the World Health Organisation advised against closing airports and borders when this thing was just getting going.

And I'm the one who gets a Harold emoji. You couldn't make it up.

That’s a fair point, but then you see the countries that instituted bans on incoming travel from China the earliest, like the US, being hit the hardest of any of the countries. The primary reason why they recommended against closing borders - and I’ve heard this from plenty of non-WHO affiliated scientists - is because they knew that any disease, by the time its brought to international attention, has already spread far and wide. What’s the point of closing your borders when you’ve already had it within your borders for a month, at least?

That being said, there are cases where it’s imperative to shut it off, like in Northern Italy where all the textile workers came back from Wuhan in droves in February and resulted in that really shocking couple of weeks.

In summation, yes the scientists have fucked up, but is there any “group” of people who have done a better job as a whole? I don’t think so

[niko_cee]

Why?

It's not something I've given a great deal of thought to (so probably isn't that logical or consistent), but it represents a level of state intervention into an individual's personal affairs that strikes me as excessive. I don't know if it's just because of the physical nature of it. Obviously the state gets to intervene in all sorts of things to limit FREEDOMZ! Parental consent for kids obviously muddies the water as there is probably a stronger case for compelling vaccination, as it is in the interest of the kid, even if the parents don't agree. Ideally I'd prefer people to make sensible decisions.

[Yevrah]

Ankle tagging the population and making them put their symptoms (even if none) into an app three times a day? It's just not going to happen unless the people are already of a certain mindset.

I don't think it'll happen either, but then I also don't think we're going to be mandating vaccines.

[Yevrah]

That’s a fair point, but then you see the countries that instituted bans on incoming travel from China the earliest, like the US, being hit the hardest of any of the countries. The primary reason why they recommended against closing borders - and I’ve heard this from plenty of non-WHO affiliated scientists - is because they knew that any disease, by the time its brought to international attention, has already spread far and wide. What’s the point of closing your borders when you’ve already had it within your borders for a month, at least?

That being said, there are cases where it’s imperative to shut it off, like in Northern Italy where all the textile workers came back from Wuhan in droves in February and resulted in that really shocking couple of weeks.

In summation, yes the scientists have fucked up, but is there any “group” of people who have done a better job as a whole? I don’t think so

The US haven't really been hit hardest, their deaths per 1m population are much better than the big hitters in Europe, almost half. And surely the point is it makes it easier to track, trace and eliminate what you already have if you're stopping more virus coming in. Now I know that wouldn't have helped much with our generally shambolic response to this, as even now we seem light years away from getting to that stage, but we'd have had fewer deaths, up to 17,000 fewer if we'd mirrored the US' deaths per million as a result.

[Don]

Didn't Italy ban travel before US? Hardly a comparison to say we should have followed the US and we would have kept our numbers to their levels.

[Andy]

Spoke with my boss today, going back on the 26th May. Three of us going back from a team of 20+.

All sorts of new risk assessments and guidelines to follow.

[Ian]

Is the US not positively affected by the amount of people living in the middle of nowhere and loads of people who just never go anywhere?

That's purely my own speculation, I haven't read anything about it.

[Yevrah]

Didn't Italy ban travel before US? Hardly a comparison to say we should have followed the US and we would have kept our numbers to their levels.

They did it at an earlier time in the year I think, but not at an earlier stage of the virus by the look of things.

And I agree, closing borders doesn't necessarily mean we would have had fewer deaths, but then it also doesn't mean the US don't have fewer because they did.

[Yevrah]

Is the US not positively affected by the amount of people living in the middle of nowhere and loads of people who just never go anywhere?

That's purely my own speculation, I haven't read anything about it.

Sure it will be to some degree, but they've still got a fuckload of densely populated and shockingly poor areas.

[mugbull]

The US haven't really been hit hardest, their deaths per 1m population are much better than the big hitters in Europe, almost half. And surely the point is it makes it easier to track, trace and eliminate what you already have if you're stopping more virus coming in. Now I know that wouldn't have helped much with our generally shambolic response to this, as even now we seem light years away from getting to that stage, but we'd have had fewer deaths, up to 17,000 fewer if we'd mirrored the US' deaths per million as a result.

You can't compare deaths per million directly. If you could, then you could make the claim that if you followed Sweden's strategy of no lockdown you'd have 30% fewer deaths. Which is obviously horseshit. In New York it's worse than in London, and in all the sparsely populated hinterland it's ok.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52650159

You can see why Dortmund are so well-run with intellect like that behind the wheel. The sooner this kind of rhetoric becomes commonplace the sooner the mongs can stop shitting themselves.

[Yevrah]

You can't compare deaths per million directly. If you could, then you could make the claim that if you followed Sweden's strategy of no lockdown you'd have 30% fewer deaths. Which is obviously horseshit. In New York it's worse than in London, and in all the sparsely populated hinterland it's ok.

Yeah, course, missed a potentially at the end of my last post. Shouldn't have been appearing to assert that as fact.

On the flipside though, nor can you claim the US have been hit hardest of any of the countries based on their overall death toll.

[Spikey M]

You can't compare deaths per million directly. If you could, then you could make the claim that if you followed Sweden's strategy of no lockdown you'd have 30% fewer deaths. Which is obviously horseshit. In New York it's worse than in London, and in all the sparsely populated hinterland it's ok.

This is it. In all likelihood, the main takeaway is one we've known about since The Plague; The more people your city has, the more trouble you're going to have.

[Kikó]

It's not something I've given a great deal of thought to (so probably isn't that logical or consistent), but it represents a level of state intervention into an individual's personal affairs that strikes me as excessive. I don't know if it's just because of the physical nature of it. Obviously the state gets to intervene in all sorts of things to limit FREEDOMZ! Parental consent for kids obviously muddies the water as there is probably a stronger case for compelling vaccination, as it is in the interest of the kid, even if the parents don't agree. Ideally I'd prefer people to make sensible decisions.

Understand - unfortunately I think sensible decisions aren't always sensible for everyone. The anti-vax story is compelling (Did you know Bill Gates wants to kill everyone?!)

I think vaccinations are one of those utilities are mandatory. I mean I speak as someone who doesn't get the flu vaccine every year so unless it's mandatory, I have limited interest.

[hfswjyr]

Australia's death count is 98 and I just realised I still dont know a single person who has had it. I only know of someone who has had using degrees of seperation.

Queensland > New Zealand

Three days with no new cases here!

[niko_cee]

14 days clear here.

[/tempting fate]


Did you know Bill Gates wants to kill everyone?!

I think I was vaguely aware of this previously, but the coronavirus crisis has certainly shone a light on it. It's definitely one of my favourite parts of the conspiracies.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol @ Mahow using the Covid vaccine to justify his diet autism.

Excuse me?

[Queenslander]

Three days with no new cases here!

We are gonna buy half of Virgin Australia.

[Lofty]

Is that how it works though? Don't you need a lot more that 1 person to spread it - and isn't the spreading only to those who aren't vaccinated? Hence why we try to stop the spread of the MMR illnesses because those who can be badly affected (the very young) can't be vaccinated fully until they are 1 or 2?

As to Yev's other point about people being wary of vaccines - isn't this one essentially going to be a type of flu jab? Are there any known or even alleged issues with existing coronavirus vaccines? Not Bill Gates wants to chip your blood or big pharma want to secretly sterilise everyone.

Is it not the case that those choosing to not be vaccinated compromise the herd through both posing a risk to vulnerable people unable to be vaccinated and also allowing the virus scope to mutate through new infections which can render the vaccination ineffective?

[Spikey M]

Is it not the case that those choosing to not be vaccinated compromise the herd through both posing a risk to vulnerable people unable to be vaccinated and also allowing the virus scope to mutate through new infections which can render the vaccination ineffective?

Plus, Vaccines rarely last forever. In some cases it's only a year. If we vaccinated against COVID, we'd either need to do so like we do with the Flu or completely knock it out like we did with Smallpox.

But, even if we did take the Smallpox route, you'd do well to exterminate it before it mutated enough to make the vaccine non-effective AND it's still knocking about in Bats etc.

[John Arne]

I'm not so sure that it's the city size that's the biggest factor (though it's still a massive factor once the virus has arrived). China has something like 70 1m+ cities, it's more the transfer of people in those cities. New York and London have a bazillion people arriving into them from around world everyday, whereas Chongqing and it's 30,000,000 inhabitants receive about 7 international visitors a week.

[mugbull]

I'm not so sure that it's the city size that's the biggest factor (though it's still a massive factor once the virus has arrived). China has something like 70 1m+ cities, it's more the transfer of people in those cities. New York and London have a bazillion people arriving into them from around world everyday, whereas Chongqing and it's 30,000,000 inhabitants receive about 7 international visitors a week.

While you're not wrong with your main point, i just want to point out that i HATE when people talk about China city population statistics. Chongqing, for instance, has about the same population as London (~8 million) but someone (I'm guessing the patriotic wing of the Chinese census bureau) loves counting the entire municipality population when calculating how many people live in a city. For Chongqing, the 30 million figure is from an area literally the size of Scotland. If you look at Google Maps and overlay the proposed the city limits it's clear that they're massively inflated.

They've got a shitload of people and a shitload of megacities but this is often overlooked

[7om]

On the vaccine subject again, you'd be mental not to get it.

Yeah it is rushed, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. There's a lot of red tape and delays to the process which make it take so long. As long as the amount of humans tested with the vaccine is big enough to test rare events (say 1 in 1000 or 10000), you're definitely good to go.

And as for mutations, that is also not necessarily indicative of the vaccine not working. You identify a common structure among all known mutations (eg the spike protein) and you target that specifically. This should ensure an immune response, no matter which strain of the virus you encounter in the real world.

[Disco]

The crucial thing about vaccines is that you should get them if you can because it helps protect those that can't have them. Before herd immunity became a meme it's what protected the unvaccinated, they simply aren't likely to come into contact with the various diseases. As soon as you get too many wankers thinking their kids can skip the MMR because reasons you get outbreaks.

[7om]

Thank Andrew Wakefield. The wanker.

[Don]

The vaccine can go in the same bin as the flu jab as far as I'm concerned. Out of interest, what conditions would prevent people from having the vaccine if they felt they needed it?

[Kikó]

Having a shit bob haircut.

[Yevrah]

On the vaccine subject again, you'd be mental not to get it.

Yeah it is rushed, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. There's a lot of red tape and delays to the process which make it take so long. As long as the amount of humans tested with the vaccine is big enough to test rare events (say 1 in 1000 or 10000), you're definitely good to go.

Why would you, as an individual, be mental not to get a vaccine against a virus that poses little to no risk to you personally?

The language around this all smells a bit like remainers talking to and about Brexit voters, and if one thing is certain that is definitely not the way to win them over.

It's also going to have to be given to, what, 40 million people? 1 in 10,000 bringing a rare event on is not good enough, let alone 1 in 1000.

[7om]

Why would you, as an individual, be mental not to get a vaccine against a virus that poses little to no risk to you personally?

The language around this all smells a bit like remainers talking to and about Brexit voters, and if one thing is certain that is definitely not the way to win them over.

It's also going to have to be given to, what, 40 million people? 1 in 10,000 bringing a rare event on is not good enough, let alone 1 in 1000.

For the exact reason why we are cooped up now. It's not necessarily the risk to you. It's others as well.

The 1 in 10000 is a standard measure of rare events in vaccine research. It's the gold standard.

[Magic]

For the exact reason why we are cooped up now. It's not necessarily the risk to you. It's others as well.

The 1 in 10000 is a standard measure of rare events in vaccine research. It's the gold standard.

Yes, correct me if I'm wrong but the asymptomatic % of people carrying is higher than any other virus/disease?

[7om]

Yes, correct me if I'm wrong but the asymptomatic % of people carrying is higher than any other virus/disease?

I've seen wild estimates of asymptomatic infections, so I really don't know the answer. There clearly is a percentage but what that is I don't think we know definitively.

[Magic]

I've seen wild estimates of asymptomatic infections, so I really don't know the answer. There clearly is a percentage but what that is I don't think we know definitively.

I saw 50% bandied about somewhere. Point is you're right, the vaccines would be there to protect the vulnerable directly and indirectly. Have to be pretty selfish not to take it.

[Yevrah]

People have been selfish since this whole thing started. You're all in cloud cuckoo land if you think that's going to change when a vaccine rocks up.

[mugbull]

People have been selfish since this whole thing started. You're all in cloud cuckoo land if you think that's going to change when a vaccine rocks up.

It's easier to go and get a free vaccine than to abide by strict lockdown rules for months. People will do it. Enough people at least to reach herd immunity

[Magic]

People have been selfish since this whole thing started. You're all in cloud cuckoo land if you think that's going to change when a vaccine rocks up.

Depends on how the vaccine protects the vulnerable. If it's great then guess there's less of a need for everyone to get vaccinated. It's the long term implications I'd be worried about if they do rush it, so as I'm fit and healthy I'll let the vulnerable people I know get vaccined up them maybe wait a few years until they grow fourteen arms and shit before considering.

[Yevrah]

It's easier to go and get a free vaccine than to abide by strict lockdown rules for months. People will do it. Enough people at least to reach herd immunity

It's easier to sit on your arse than go and buy all of the toilet roll, but people still did that.

[Disco]

People are selfish, which is exactly why vaccination should be mandatory, along with organ donation while we're at it.

[hfswjyr]

We can barely get people to eat their vegetables for their own health. Now we are asking people to get vaccinated for the health of others.
Going to be tall order. But only because humans are the worst.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Are we not asking them to get vaccinated so it will be safe to have any kind of life again? An easier sell perhaps.

[Yevrah]

People are selfish, which is exactly why vaccination should be mandatory, along with organ donation while we're at it.

Definitely think you should have to opt out of donating organs rather than in.

[hfswjyr]

These lockdown protesters heading out anyway obviously aren't scared of dying or bothered about who the virus gets passed onto, so there's a whole bunch who won't bother getting vaccinated.

[mugbull]

It's easier to sit on your arse than go and buy all of the toilet roll, but people still did that.

I mean assuming the vaccine is mandatory.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

People are selfish, which is exactly why vaccination should be mandatory, along with organ donation while we're at it.

100%

[Lewis]

I keep meaning to opt out of that organ theft racket. I'll wait until we're back to normal in case a Key Worker needs one.

[Spikey M]

The ONS reckon 0.27% of the country (outside of the NHS and carers) have been infected over the last 2 weeks.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/conditionsanddiseases/bulletins/coronaviruscovid19infectionsurveypilot/england14may2020

[Magic]

The ONS reckon 0.27% of the country (outside of the NHS and carers) have been infected over the last 2 weeks.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/conditionsanddiseases/bulletins/coronaviruscovid19infectionsurveypilot/england14may2020

So what?

[Spikey M]

So what?

It's information you cunt, do what you will with it.

[Magic]

It's information you cunt, do what you will with it.

That's what I meant. Is it good or bad. Don't just post random shite without forcing your uneducated, worthless take on what it means down my throat. Prick.

[Spikey M]

That's what I meant. Is it good or bad. Don't just post random shite without forcing your uneducated, worthless guess on the subject. Prick.

In my opinion, you cunt, it seems pretty fucking high when everyone has been on lockdown for the past 2 months and I can't see how that isn't going to skyrocket when everyone starts milling about.

It's roughly 1 in 400 people, isn't it? 1 in 400 of us has had it just in the last 2 weeks. Or is my maths that shit?

Cunt.

[Don]

:D

Good work both.

[Shindig]

This crisis has really brought out the best in this place. :D

[Adramelch]

While you're not wrong with your main point, i just want to point out that i HATE when people talk about China city population statistics. Chongqing, for instance, has about the same population as London (~8 million) but someone (I'm guessing the patriotic wing of the Chinese census bureau) loves counting the entire municipality population when calculating how many people live in a city. For Chongqing, the 30 million figure is from an area literally the size of Scotland. If you look at Google Maps and overlay the proposed the city limits it's clear that they're massively inflated.

They've got a shitload of people and a shitload of megacities but this is often overlooked

Your way is not that accurate either. For example Athens as a municipality has 700k odd people, but anyone that's been there will tell you that the actual city is much much bigger than the municipality. Same with Paris. It's very densely populated way beyond the municipality limits, so you can't go around saying "but Paris only has 2.1 million people" because that's just not the case.

Edit: I understand that the case of Chongding is different, but you get my point.

[Giggles]

This clapping shit on Sky One is some load of bollocks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This week I clapped for deceased former Birmingham City hitman, Christian 'Chucho' Benitez. Why not try and bring him back? It can't harm.

[7om]

Worst kept secret in Brum was that him and Garry O’Connor were massive cokeheads.

[Spikey M]

Charlie Brookers AntiViral Wipe is on BBC2.

[Giggles]

Charlie Brookers AntiViral Wipe is on BBC2.

His opening joke bits were that poor I put on the news.

[John]

I was just thinking that was the best Barry Shitpeas and Philomena Cunk had ever been, drawing a couple of smiles each, then it carried on about six times longer and by the end it was comfortably the worst they'd ever been.

[Kikó]

I dunno, Philomena has been pretty good.

[niko_cee]

I don't mind the wipes, but there is always the feel of them being a really sub-standard Brass Eye, particularly when it comes to the 'contributors'.

[John]

Oh good, they're back. Off it goes.

[Kikó]

Philomena is doing an Ali G bit.

[Lewis]

All of this improvised lockdown telly has been absolutely unbearable shit, to the point where they must just be doing it in case we forget who they are.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, sorry lads.

[Manc]

Luke Johnson has absolutely donned QT. Taz will have covered his ceiling.

[Don]

Just finished Newswipe and you lot are being harsh, it was a solid effort. The problem is the real life shit is beyond satire and jokes have been done due to focus on it.

Will bang on QT now.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, thought wipe was alright. Barry Shitpeas was crap, but probably a bit better than he normally is.

[Yevrah]

Luke Johnson was good on QT, but so was the Scottish scientific advisor.

Government ineptitude and our advisors being crap really is the problem here.

[Don]

Luke put some good points in, not least stickin it to the public sector protected cunts mouthin off about extending lockdown from their untouchable throne.

My current thinking evolved today into a possible theory that I may take up upon further consideration...the government are on my side, smart enough to know lockdown extensions are retarded and shit needs reopening asap but also aware that people are retards.

In order to maximise people's compliance to social distancing which is going to be essential to the next 12 months minimum, drip feeding us freedoms is the only way to make sure people understand the severity and behave as such once they're let out like the animals they are. This is their potty training period.

On that note, it was carnage round my lake today. This weekend could be more viral than Stefan Postma and that's before I start the MK branch of the Freedom Party Festival.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If this goes on for too much longer I'm going to become militant against public sector workers and people on furlough. Just yesterday one of my furloughed colleagues messaged me saying she's happy 'living like a bum' on 80%. Meanwhile, my sister works for the Scottish government and is sitting at home 'working', because they can't be furloughed, but hasn't done a single minute of work for three weeks. No wonder all the lefties are carping about extending lockdown.

[Raoul Duke]

Welcome to the test of Universal Basic Income