Coronavirus Death Thread

[Waffdon]

City's boys charging top dollar.

1246716628303306753?s=20

City’s owners have done more than anyone else thus far

[Andy]

They're going to ban outside exercise tomorrow arent they? can only imagine how rammed the parks, beaches etc will be today.

[-james-]

They're going to ban outside exercise tomorrow arent they? can only imagine how rammed the parks, beaches etc will be today.

I don't see how that's a good idea or even remotely enforceable. Just jogging to the shops m8.

[Foe]

Yeah exactly that. I’ll go for a daily walk to a supermarket slightly further away to buy ‘essentials’ instead.

Missing the point.

If the point is to avoid contact then only allow passengers of essential services dictated by the government on public transport and police those in groups, particularly in high risk urbanised areas. Joe blog walking to the park and sunbathing alone is more at risk by some draconian police office rocking up to them and telling them to go home. Be interesting to find out how many police offices have it and/or are asymptotically spreading it.

[Shindig]

You'll be alright as long as you're not stationary which I guess is why they see sunbathing as a risk.

[Don]

Just plank every 20 mins and you'll be blessed. About to go hurl some abuse at any stationary wankers now on a bike ride.

[Baz]

What are we predicting today? Mass orgies in the parks? Police brutality? 1000 deaths?

Gonorrhoea is at an all time high because so many people are having group sex.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Italians down to 525 today, let's hope this is a sign that the peak in these conditions is 2 weeks maximum.

[Don]

Kyle Walker has been helping out key workers though: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8188793/Manchester-City-star-Kyle-Walker-hosted-sex-party-two-escorts-coronavirus-lockdown.html

Didn't click this initially in my one one man crusade against DM/The Sun but I've just quit my job and started a new one as delivery boy for The Sun after reading this...

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/11329263/kyle-walker-sex-party-hookers-coronavirus-lockdown/

I haven't seen a more complete work of comedy in all my time. His mug, his condoms, the sket's quotes...it's fucking [shiny] gold :D

[Shindig]

Yep. Hopefully Spain and Italy are through the worst. Lockdown for maybe 8-12 weeks and we'll hopefully be dealing with just the dregs in terms of cases.

[Manc]

The bunda isn't worth £220 let alone £2k. Poor form.

Southgate won't forget these transgressions. Mount, Grealish and now Kai.

[Shindig]

They're all replaceable too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol at Kyle Walker.

[Lewis]

The day before he made the distancing video. What's the problem?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He also didn't leave his house...

[Spikey M]

It's a step down from shagging his dog too.

[John Arne]

Corona Cup Second Round Results

https://gyazo.com/f2de266750fc0835a4aa66d0f176a93b.jpeg

[Shindig]

Belgium's only going to get stronger as the tournament goes on, Clive.

[John Arne]

Countries reporting similar-ish figures day-to-day making this a little more predictable.

[Yevrah]

Switzerland knocking us out was an upset though I'd say.

[Giggles]

Who’s getting lolled at today? Haven’t seen the body counts, sick cunts.

[phonics]

Switzerland knocking us out was an upset though I'd say.

Nah, our low population had this in the bag.

[Yevrah]

Today may well be the lowest death count day for a while. Well, a while by today's standards at least.

[Yevrah]

Nah, our low population had this in the bag.

We'd have beaten you had the match been held two days earlier.

[John Arne]

We'd have beaten you had the match been held two days earlier.

Broken metatarsal's all over again :(

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Anyone else paid attention to the Scottish CMO ignoring her own rules?

[Adramelch]

France is way down today as well, so it could be a real derby vs Italy but I don't see either of us taking Belgium out in the semis.

They really should have hidden the care home deaths for another 3-4 days.

[Lofty]

Didn't click this initially in my one one man crusade against DM/The Sun but I've just quit my job and started a new one as delivery boy for The Sun after reading this...

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/11329263/kyle-walker-sex-party-hookers-coronavirus-lockdown/

I haven't seen a more complete work of comedy in all my time. His mug, his condoms, the sket's quotes...it's fucking [shiny] gold :D

I just love how she slags him for breaking the lockdown despite her doing the same to suck cock for cash.

[Adramelch]

I just love how she slags him for breaking the lockdown despite her doing the same to suck cock for cash.

She's an essential worker though.

[Mazuuurk]

Today may well be the lowest death count day for a while. Well, a while by today's standards at least.

In Sweden at least the death reporting is lagging sometimes up to a few days as the hopsitals process and report deaths etc, and especially on weekends apparently. Dunno if it's the same in the UK.

[Mellberg]

I see Dominic Cummings has lost an uncle. Reap what you sow and all that.

[niko_cee]

Anyone else paid attention to the Scottish CMO ignoring her own rules?

Aye. Presumably she hasn't been summarily dismissed due to THE CURRENT CRISIS.

[Don]

https://youtu.be/WERVFs8pP4A

Peter Hitchens seems to have been drinking from the same fountain of knowledge/piss as me. Unfortunately, he also seems to have wasted the platform his name affords him by having about as clearly formulated an argument as me in bed before my final wank of the night.

Yes, we know it's piss easy to poke holes at the government's approach but unless you can propose alternatives, you're just a crybaby.

On a more personal note, day 37 has definitely brought some slight improvement in sense of smell/taste. Nowhere near recovered but it's enough light. My jizz is gonna taste better than ever on that first day of full recovery :drool:

[Shindig]

Mate, just blow your nose.

[Boydy]

Maybe instead of going blind, you've lost your sense of taste and smell.

[phonics]

Johnson has gone to hospital for extra tests? They’re being weird about him after going out then back in to isolation. Lol if he dies of it.

[Don]

https://twitter.com/andygoldstein05/status/1244617798631989249?s=20

The vid below is better for the Coleman's spoonful. I was thinking what else you could do for the TikTok views and consequent bishes but aside from Cinnamon challenge, that's pretty much the end of it. The bishes will have to wait.

[Kikó]

Read last week Johnson was in a poor state of affairs.

[Waffdon]

Jelly and ice cream when Bojo dies

[phonics]

The street party when he dies builds up herd immunity. Long term goals.

[Yevrah]

If Boris still has symptoms now he might be in a bit of trouble.

[Baz]

RIP Boris you cunt :lol:

[Shindig]

What if he holds the key to beating this? :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What would happen if he did die?

[Waffdon]

If Boris still has symptoms now he might be in a bit of trouble.

My old man is on his 12th day today and said last night was the worst thing he’s experienced. Just got told to stay at home in isolation.

[Lewis]

His missus had it, so that might explain his condition. They should send a prostitute into the hospital to revive him like Popeye.

[Shindig]

They split up (as in moved to different houses) once he confirmed he had it. I think she developed symptoms after him.

[Lofty]

What would happen if he did die?

Acting PM Raab until they decided on a suitable time to anoint PM Sunak.

I swear that is why Hancock rushed back from his isolation, was terrified of Sunak getting a week in the spotlight and showing up the rest of them even more.

[Smjffy]

Sunak didn't really show anyone up though, did he? He made big pledges, many of which seem more to be soundbites than anything else. People looked forward to him on screen because it was like handing out free candy until they realised they didn't get any or fell through the net.

EDIT: You can include that Yvette woman too as the same thing happened with her. She spoke a few lines of sense then it was "Next PM!" when all it does for me is show how low the bar has been set.

[Kikó]

You do realise most of those things are now happening right?

[Boydy]

Scottish CMO resigned. Lol.

[Yevrah]

Apparently a Tiger in New York has it.

What in the fuck?

[Waffdon]

Fucking Carole Baskin.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

100% Carole Baskin's fault.

[Shindig]

Police are advising to stay at least six feet away from Tigers.

[Mellberg]

A fucking tiger? :cab:

We'll be burning cows in no time.

[Lee]

Apparently a Tiger in New York has it.

What in the fuck?

I read last week that a domestic cat in Belgium got it and was fine. I think it also said it couldn’t go from cat to human, just the other way. Though fuck knows how they know. It got from something to human in the first place. If cats and dogs start getting it. :console:

In some positive news, our senior doctors (and their mates elsewhere in the region) reckon if the peak does indeed hit in the week after Easter then ICU capacity won’t be breached. Perhaps not even close. The modelling from the centre - further broken down by region - looks pretty robust so far, so here’s hoping.

There is also some optimism that London is either at, or very close to, its peak. If true that’s also good from an ICU capacity point of view. There will be hotspots where it’s grim, but the overall picture is less bad than it looked like being at one point. London’s hospital admission growth has maintained its non-exponential nature and is now peeling away from the Lombardy trajectory which is great as it really did look fucked at one point.

Most other English regions are still tracking the Italy trajectory (less bad than that of Lombardy alone) but given everywhere ‘locked down’ at the same time we ought to see that trajectory improve too. The South West is the exception in England. They appear to have gotten away with it.

[Smjffy]

Apparently a Tiger in New York has it.

What in the fuck?

I Googled Tiger in New York expecting it to jump out on the page but I got this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ming_of_Harlem

Still, a decent apartment no doubt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I read the thing about the tiger and the fucking lions all being tested after developing a dry cough I thought it was a wind up. A tiger with a persistent cough would fill my pants on the regular if I was within about five miles of it.

[Queenslander]

Mobile phone location data used to track Australians' movements during coronavirus crisis :drool:

https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/technology/mobile-phone-location-data-used-to-track-australians-movements-during-coronavirus-crisis-20200404-p54h09.html

[Pepe]

Gasoline under $2 per gallon. :drool:

[Luca]

When I read the thing about the tiger and the fucking lions all being tested after developing a dry cough I thought it was a wind up. A tiger with a persistent cough would fill my pants on the regular if I was within about five miles of it.

Thoughts and prayers for Carole Baskin and Doc Antle.

[Andy]

Sunak didn't really show anyone up though, did he? He made big pledges, many of which seem more to be soundbites than anything else. People looked forward to him on screen because it was like handing out free candy until they realised they didn't get any or fell through the net.

EDIT: You can include that Yvette woman too as the same thing happened with her. She spoke a few lines of sense then it was "Next PM!" when all it does for me is show how low the bar has been set.

What more should he have done? What did he say and not back up?

I was really impressed by him and how quickly he acted.

I don't really have much of a grasp on economy so worry where the money is or will come from but I think th vast majority of people who are struggling due to this will be ok.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The last group of people to be bawling WHAT ABOUT ME on twitter are people who started jobs after 1 March, so I think that's a tiny enough % of the population that he's done a pretty superb job with the new schemes, especially at the speed he did.

[Spikey M]

I am claiming a huge E-Victory over Smiff.

I warned him of the perils of hopping from job to job. Fucking warned him I did.

[SvN]

I think that the financial support that people are getting is outstanding and unprecedented. Yes, some people will have slipped through the net, but the vast, vast majority have been saved by the government response.

[Queenslander]

AirBNB is now illegal in NSW in response to people holidaying in Northern NSW, I Hope this happens nationwide.

"It is now illegal for anyone in NSW to leave their own home to stay in an Airbnb or similar short-term letting agency accommodation without a lawful reason, the government has advised.

Under the new coronavirus regulations, no one should be staying anywhere else than in their own permanent home, and they could be fined or imprisoned if they were found to be breaking emergency rules"

:drool:

https://www.domain.com.au/news/nsw-government-cracks-down-on-holidaymakers-threatens-fines-946902/

[Lofty]

People looked forward to Sunak more because he is one of the only cabinet members who can speak reassuringly in complete sentences.

[Don]

Priti Patel would be well liked if all she had to do was talk about how the government will be giving you free monies it can't afford to whilst everyone else talks about curfews and bodycounts.

Sunak is just a standard polished politician who is new enough to not have much shit attached to his name but there's little substance there as he showed on the C4 climate debate where he stood in for Boris.

[Ian]

Have we already discussed the Sunday Times seemingly managing to call the Health Secretary "Matt Handjob" in an article yesterday?

[Offshore Toon]

I prefer Hatt Mancock personally.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Have we already discussed the Sunday Times seemingly managing to call the Health Secretary "Matt Handjob" in an article yesterday?

That was a quote from a no 10 official who seemingly did call him that. Was class to put it in print though, usually a [Hancock] might have been used.

[John Arne]

Only 1 new case in the previous 24hrs in Vietnam #Nguyening

Here is one way VN is combating the spread. The govt app shows all cases and the address of those people (and sometimes the name). You can then click on the red zone and it tells you areas of concern, for example "Starbucks, 15/3-25/3" and of you were around that location at that time, you can submit a test request.

https://gyazo.com/39c4fda47afa38f8c4436a84cd01f78c.jpeg

[randomlegend]

#Nguyening


:D

[Kikó]

Boris struggling to breathe on his own. Apparently on oxygen in hospital.

[Magic]

A real man of the people.

[Yevrah]

Boris struggling to breathe on his own. Apparently on oxygen in hospital.

What's the source?

[Ian]

ITKs.

[SvN]

Received our £10k small business grant today. I'm surprised and impressed at how quickly they've been able to push this through.

[Spikey M]

ITKs.

There's a plane flying from Portugal to London. Sources say a Dr is onboard.

[Waffdon]

I was dishing them out to folk on Thursday. Will have over 1000 to do a reckon. Fuck working in a big city.

[Ian]

There's a plane flying from Portugal to London. Sources say a Dr is onboard.

What meal option has he/she gone for?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Received our £10k small business grant today. I'm surprised and impressed at how quickly they've been able to push this through.

My cricket club got ours inside 24 hours of application. Ridiculous really.

[Giggles]

The UVF cancelling the July parades already shows just how long this really will go on for.

[Shindig]

Late summer would be my guess. You want to completely strangle this thing.

[Lewis]

The UVF cancelling the July parades already shows just how long this really will go on for.

Some folks sing of the line graphs and tallies
Where the death tolls abundantly grow

[Kikó]

What's the source?

Arguably bollocks. My bad.

[Smjffy]

I am claiming a huge E-Victory over Smiff.

I warned him of the perils of hopping from job to job. Fucking warned him I did.

Twat. :D

Initially employer said I would be furloughed but as the date has been backdated to Feb 28th it means they can't so aye, I fell through.

It could be a worse position to be in but it is a bit galling given I have wage slips from my first two weeks so I don't see how it can be fraudulent.

[Baz]

Boris struggling to breathe on his own. Apparently on oxygen in hospital.

:henn0rz:

[bruhnaldo]

Received our £10k small business grant today. I'm surprised and impressed at how quickly they've been able to push this through.

If printing money out of thin air is your gig come to America it's like our whole thing :drool:

[Smjffy]

Apparently Pep Guardiola's mother has died from it.

[Ian]

Coronavirus in Formula 1: Ron Dennis creates NHS free meals scheme (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/52186473)


Former McLaren boss Ron Dennis has created a scheme to supply a million free meals to NHS workers during the coronavirus crisis.

Dennis says his foundation has put in place a £1.5m budget and joined forces with a number of companies to supply 1,000 meals a day to health workers.

"I wanted a big solution to a big problem," the 72-year-old said.

"It is an amazing effort, which I think is reflective of my reputation. If I say I'm going to do something I do it."

When that sentence started with "It's an amazing effort" I genuinely thought it was going to end with something about the effort of NHS staff and why they needed our support or something. :D

'This whole pandemic is a really great chance to show what a top fella I really am.'

[Adramelch]

In Greece, the Easter religous ceremony has been transferred to the end of May and there's been mentions of schools reopening around the same time so the assumption is that the strict lockdown will be done by then. Then again, the virus barely got to the country before the lockdown was imposed so there's that.

[Yevrah]

Have we got a number today yet? Chap at work claims it's gone down again but I can't see anything anywhere.

[Shindig]

432 deaths.

[Yeldoow]

No UK number yet, but the England number is down again.

[Shindig]

Nah, Wales and Scotland confirmed numbers earlier. 432 combined. Wales had 27, Scotland had 2.

[Waffdon]

Scotland:cool:

[Yevrah]

Interesting. Sort of defies any curve we've seen so far. And we've not been inside long enough for a difference to have been made yet.

[Yeldoow]

I'm not sure how much I trust the weekend numbers last weekend had a dip as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nice that the virus respects the Sabbath.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, tomorrow will be key.

[Shindig]

Even if they do dip on the weekend, would they dip by this much?

[Foe]

Can we reopen the gyms in Scotland now please?

[Kikó]

Registering deaths on a Sunday occurs less so means we will see a spike on Tuesday.

[Lee]

This will be a weekend counting thing. We’re still 7-10 days from maximum hospital demand so deaths will grow for a while to come.

[Boydy]

Can we reopen the gyms in Scotland now please?
Do some press-ups and stop crying

[Spoonsky]

Can anyone explain to me why no Germans are dying of this?

Their number of cases isn't that far from Spain or Italy but their number of deaths is 10x less.

[Adramelch]

Well presumably they don't count deaths of people with major comorbidities as covid deaths.

[Foe]

I can’t perve on women in yoga pants here so that solution just isn’t feasible.

[Lofty]

Priti Patel would be well liked if all she had to do was talk about how the government will be giving you free monies it can't afford to whilst everyone else talks about curfews and bodycounts.

Sunak is just a standard polished politician who is new enough to not have much shit attached to his name but there's little substance there as he showed on the C4 climate debate where he stood in for Boris.

The only way Patel would be popular if she was giving out free blowjobs and maybe not even then. Her smirking hatred oozes out of every pore, never mind her incompetence. If it wasn't for the neverending shit show on the back of the EU referendum she would have never got near a top job.

[Yevrah]

These questions about Boris are laughable.

[Boydy]

Raab just said he last spoke to Boris on Saturday. If he's the one who's meant to take over if Boris is incapacitated, shouldn't he have spoken to him since then?

[Baz]

Can anyone explain to me why no Germans are dying of this?

Their number of cases isn't that far from Spain or Italy but their number of deaths is 10x less.The rest of the world reports people who died with it whereas Germany report people who died from it.

Germany are doing it correctly, as far as I’m concerned.

When we’re looking at the data retrospectively, that’ll be the figure used.

[Lewis]

It's a shame we never got that seven day NHS Jeremy Hunt wanted, otherwise we might have some accurate figures for weekends.

[Lewis]

Am I supposed to be arsed that Dominic Raab hasn't spoken to the shagged-out Prime Minister since Saturday? What vital day-to-day contribution has gone un-made in that time, bearing in mind that two weeks ago he was being criticised by anonymous ministers for letting the actual medical experts run the show? Presumably when they say he is still 'in charge' they mean that major decisions, such as those relating to the LOCK DOWN, or whether to nuke China, won't be made without him; but otherwise, what is so important to be worth running him around for? There was an actually important point made about testing in the midst of all that, but the mongols just homed in on LEADERSHIP VACUUM like they're covering a party conference.

[Lee]

The rest of the world reports people who died with it whereas Germany report people who died from it.

Germany are doing it correctly, as far as I’m concerned.

When we’re looking at the data retrospectively, that’ll be the figure used.

That’s what I thought but Andrew Neil spoke to the people doing the testing and measuring there and they’re doing exactly what we are in counting deaths.

What they’re doing better is getting everybody who complains of symptoms tested and then isolated if positive, so they don’t spread the disease and cause more serious illness in others.

[Magic]

Got Versatile blaring and a rum and coke in the back garden. It's a Monday. It's deathly silent. This is too good to be true.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Am I supposed to be arsed that Dominic Raab hasn't spoken to the shagged-out Prime Minister since Saturday? What vital day-to-day contribution has gone un-made in that time, bearing in mind that two weeks ago he was being criticised by anonymous ministers for letting the actual medical experts run the show? Presumably when they say he is still 'in charge' they mean that major decisions, such as those relating to the LOCK DOWN, or whether to nuke China, won't be made without him; but otherwise, what is so important to be worth running him around for? There was an actually important point made about testing in the midst of all that, but the mongols just homed in on LEADERSHIP VACUUM like they're covering a party conference.

I still don't understand why political journalists are reporting on this. Politicians are involved but the things they are doing are not political. They really need to stand down Laura, Peston et al and send the health correspondents in.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Peston especially fancies himself too much but too many of them crave the limelight.

He had a minor meltdown after being pulled up on a few things in a video call recently, took to twitter describing such a ferocious episode. Wanker.

[Shindig]

It's all a bit shite from the press, to be honest. Too many seem conditioned to look for stories and scoops when this thing is .... fucking bigger than anything they'll ever face.

[Smjffy]

Raab just said he last spoke to Boris on Saturday. If he's the one who's meant to take over if Boris is incapacitated, shouldn't he have spoken to him since then?

You mean like yesterday when he was taken to hospital?

It is only Monday, you know.

[Spikey M]

These questions about Boris are laughable.

They're desperate for him to be in serious danger. Absolutely gagging for it.

[thommo]

Peston always seems to be an absolute fucking twat. The less I hear from him, the better.

[Don]

Saw three henchmen using the gated off and signposted chin up bars so went in on them. Two of them stayed quiet like children, the other one just flung insults at me so we parted but it was getting heated. I made a sufficient scene though and they'd fucked off 15 mins later when I came back round only to be replaced by some yoot. Lectured him more calmly, he wasn't having it either. One man crusade for some meaningful social contact - even if it is getting called a knobhead and chinned - thinly veiled as being a responsible citizen :drool:

[Spikey M]

Sure.

[Smjffy]

Boris has gone to intensive care now. :uhoh:

[Waffdon]

ICU for Boris. This is some smokescreen :drool:

Dancing with Maggie and the worms in no time

[Kikó]

Seriously think this could be brown bread time. Fuck.

[Mellberg]

Fucking hell.

[Magic]

:drool:

[Yevrah]

He's in deep shit.

[Shindig]

Y'know, I don't want Boris going out like this.

[Yevrah]

At least now we know, have this for 10 days or more and it's time to write a will.

[Spikey M]

He was more or less fucking fine last week. This is some scary shit.

[Yevrah]

He was more or less fucking fine last week. This is some scary shit.

Indeed. He looked ill on Friday, but not at fucking death's door.

[Waffdon]

My Twitter mentions are cancer. What a time to be alive

[Giggles]

Would send some message to all the ones acting the fuck. Hopefully he pulls through it though.

[Waffdon]

140 replies in 8 minutes :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

At least now we know, have this for 10 days or more and it's time to write a will.

My line manager at work has had an identical symptom set/duration to Boris so far, without the ICU bit. Makes you fucking worry.

[bruhnaldo]

So post a link to the tweet then

[Foe]

Well, that’s us fucked for getting any restrictions lifted any time soon.

What’s his back story? Healthy? Ex smoker?

[Waffdon]

So post a link to the tweet then

1247243683969236996

[Foe]

My line manager at work has had an identical symptom set/duration to Boris so far, without the ICU bit. Makes you fucking worry.

He one of those working from home?

I’d be fucking off working from the office jim and setting up the call divert regardless of what the md says. Fuck getting exposed on a tube or public transport. If the company are arsey about it leave afterwards.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He one of those working from home?

I’d be fucking off working from the office jim and setting up the call divert regardless of what the md says. Fuck getting exposed on a tube or public transport. If the company are arsey about it leave afterwards.

He's been working at home for a good fortnight. It's more him I'm worried about than me at this stage.

[Kikó]

ITKs.

APOLOGISE.
x

[Spikey M]

Herd 'mentality'.

[Foe]

Brutal.

I bought some vicks vaporub early doors thinking it would keep my airwaves open in a bind. That may have been a slight under estimation.

[bruhnaldo]

You gotta have a teaspoon of it to work with the COVID.

[Spikey M]

Brutal.

I bought some vicks vaporub early doors thinking it would keep my airwaves open in a bind. That may have been a slight under estimation.

The Herd Mentality will keep your airwaves open. You don't want them closing up and becoming microwaves.

[Kikó]

The medic on the other forum:

>Game over for him.

Extubation rates are pathetic.

[Lofty]

Boris's online brownshirts have apparently contacted Waff's employers about his tweet :D

[Boydy]

Is it still unimportant that Raab hadn't spoken to him since Saturday?

[Waffdon]

Haha, apparently so. Faf

[Don]

I didn't mind the beer one as I thought it was tongue-in-cheek but has Waff become a FT Twitter troll? Posting toxic shit and rubbing one out over the attention, I've taught you well, my child.

[Waffdon]

That Maggie one will probably come back to fuck me. Already had four or five folk tell me they’ve contacted my employers. Lol

[Boydy]

You're an idiot, Waff.

[Yevrah]

My line manager at work has had an identical symptom set/duration to Boris so far, without the ICU bit. Makes you fucking worry.

Indeed. It's the seeing him looking relatively fine on Friday and being at death's door on Monday that really brings this home. I've heard that was the case in terms of how quickly it fucks you, but now I've seen it it's a whole new ball game.

If I catch it I'm genuinely going to be shitting myself, I don't mind admitting that.

[Spikey M]

You're an idiot, Waff.

Putting it mildly.

[bruhnaldo]

I mean is he on "death's door"? You can be in the ICU and not dying surely?

[7om]

The medic on the other forum:

>Game over for him.

Extubation rates are pathetic.

Are they? I’ve yet to see data to suggest that, could you link us?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7102530/pdf/main.pdf

This paper showed quite good outcomes for ICU patients but of course we don’t know the outcomes of the patients who were still in ICU when the study ended. I think it’s irresponsible to make such concrete statements when we simply cannot say for certain.

[Lewis]

Herd mentality. Jesus. At least get it right.

[Waffdon]

You're an idiot, Waff.

The stuff in the comments to me is so ironic it’s beautiful. Only quoted the great man.

[bruhnaldo]

ooooooo weeee "Say hi to Maggie for me x @BorisJohnson" that's spicy as fuck, Shane.

[Spikey M]

I mean is he on "death's door"? You can be in the ICU and not dying surely?

You're atleast close enough for it to be a fair concern.

[bruhnaldo]

LMAO Jamie Kerr is trying to have you out !

"it's alright we're see what he's got to say when I see him at the local shopping centre" loololololol oh my

[Waffdon]

Herd mentality. Jesus. At least get it right.

Haha, I was in a rush to type. Key to the bites is getting a reply within 10 seconds

[Luke Emia]

Don’t you work in the civil service? Or have you got a Union in your workplace? Might be needing them.

You’d of been alright with the herd mentality shit I think it’s the say hi to Maggie one that has more chance of taking you down?

[7om]

Haha, I was in a rush to type. Key to the bites is getting a reply within 10 seconds

You were in a rush to look like a twat and wind people up. You did a good job.

[Magic]

Literally going to cum if BOZZZA dies.

[bruhnaldo]

"This is the scumbag that lied about losing his mum to coronaviris"

Spelling of virus aside, did you really lie about your mom dying?

[Waffdon]

Don’t you work in the civil service? Or have you got a Union in your workplace? Might be needing them.

You’d of been alright with the herd mentality shit I think it’s the say hi to Maggie one that has more chance of taking you down?

Aye. I’ll be fine, I’ve tweeted much worse. Not to this amount of attention though. The deleted tweet could be an issue but I highly doubt I’ll get the sack over it.

[Waffdon]

"This is the scumbag that lied about losing his mum to coronaviris"

Spelling of virus aside, did you really lie about your mom dying?

Nah, tweeted a photo to Piers Morgan with a pint on the last night pubs were open and said my Mother had it and to allow me to drown my sorrows in peace

[bruhnaldo]

The replies are honestly fuckin peak entertainment.

Apparently "ticsmon2020" has his employer and address

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQkB6CPWkAANZRd.jpg

Scary lad, him.

[Smjffy]

Literally going to cum if BOZZZA dies.

You'd best hope Waff hasn't attracted some unwanted attention around these parts tbh as if they've found his work then what else could they find.

[Offshore Toon]

Those bellend deserve to get wound up. Waff, direct them over. It's time for war, boys.

[Shindig]

Literally going to cum if BOZZZA dies.

Why? You'll be angry at "ANOTHER TORY WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR!" in a few months. It changes nothing in fact, might make things worse.

[Offshore Toon]

It actually might be a good way to get some new members if Waff links to this place as a second tweet. :baz:

[Spoonsky]

Insane times if Bojo kicks the bucket. He'd be the first real celebrity to go wouldn't he?

[Waffdon]

It actually might be a good way to get some new members if Waff links to this place as a second tweet. :baz:

You game?

:D

[Offshore Toon]

You game?

:D
Yeah, do it. Best time for the forum to go to war.

Change your name and picture to BBC breaking news and tweet that he's deed too.

[Lewis]

Don't do that you loser.

[Yevrah]

I mean is he on "death's door"? You can be in the ICU and not dying surely?

Until I'm told otherwise I'm going to assume he's on a ventilator and therefore has a circa 20% chance of survival.

[Queenslander]

Jesus...

[Spoonsky]

I've never seen Lewis rattled before.

[Spikey M]

Not sure theres much of a war to be had. He's a fucking idiot. A deeply unfunny, unoriginal, banterlad idiot.

[Offshore Toon]

He's worried he might lose his irl award.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, do it. Best time for the forum to go to war.

Change your name and picture to BBC breaking news and tweet that he's deed too.

Ha. My phone is still getting obliterated with messages. The guy is bluffing I think, he’d have just said my name or employers if he really knew. I don’t have fb, no real name on there and wouldn’t tweet about work

[Waffdon]

Not sure theres much of a war to be had. He's a fucking idiot. A deeply unfunny, unoriginal, banterlad idiot.

Banter init

[Yevrah]

And Waff, stop it now you utter bellend.

[Lofty]

That Iain Duncan Smith word salad is something else

[Jimmy Floyd]

Until I'm told otherwise I'm going to assume he's on a ventilator and therefore has a circa 20% chance of survival.

They've said he isn't, but they've said a lot of things.

[bruhnaldo]

:popcorn:

[Luca]

Whilst Waff is obviously a cretin for this and the beer post, the latter is surely the one he should actually be getting shit for.

[bruhnaldo]

Oh what the fuck is that

[Revolution]

Nah, tweeted a photo to Piers Morgan with a pint on the last night pubs were open and said my Mother had it and to allow me to drown my sorrows in peace

That was you, ffs lmao.

[Giggles]

Whilst Waff is obviously a cretin for this and the beer post, the latter is surely the one he should actually be getting shit for.

The beer post?

[Lewis]

I've never seen Lewis rattled before.

Stefan Postma.

[Luca]

Nah, tweeted a photo to Piers Morgan with a pint on the last night pubs were open and said my Mother had it and to allow me to drown my sorrows in peace


The beer post?

This.

[Luca]

A couple people in the comments sticking the landing with the “he’s probably one of those who is flouting the lockdown.”

[Yevrah]

They've said he isn't, but they've said a lot of things.

Indeed. And as a result until they can prove he isn't that's the working assumption I'm going with.

[Spikey M]

This.

You wot m8

[Kikó]

Are they? I’ve yet to see data to suggest that, could you link us?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7102530/pdf/main.pdf

This paper showed quite good outcomes for ICU patients but of course we don’t know the outcomes of the patients who were still in ICU when the study ended. I think it’s irresponsible to make such concrete statements when we simply cannot say for certain.

No link. That's all I've got.

[Waffdon]

A couple people in the comments sticking the landing with the “he’s probably one of those who is flouting the lockdown.”

I’ve not left my house for nearly two weeks. Good guy, Shane.

[Luca]

You wot m8

Take your L etc.

[Giggles]

You wot m8

He was showing me tweet I’d forgotten about.

[Kikó]

No link. That's all I've got.

1247252077513977857?s=20

[Spikey M]

I'm with you both. Soz.

[Spikey M]

1247252077513977857?s=20

Pretty much 50/50. Fucking hell.

[Foe]

50/50 is better than I thought it’d be to be fair.

Don’t want.

[Yevrah]

I'm not sure it's as good as 50/50, but either way, and as I posted last night, he's in serious trouble with this.

[Luke Emia]

If he pegs it what is this going to mean for Brexit means Brexit and all that?

[Smjffy]

You can't go all tweet protection after that. Take the grilling you deserve.

[Manc]

Ban the cunt.

[Spikey M]

I'm not sure it's as good as 50/50, but either way, and as I posted last night, he's in serious trouble with this.

Based off the second tweet, for 50-69 year olds with no health conditions it's 54% survive / 46% die.

[Foe]

I'm not sure it's as good as 50/50, but either way, and as I posted last night, he's in serious trouble with this.

It’s a harrowing case for not being negligent isn’t it. Was he not commenting about shaking hands and visiting patients?

Brutal.

Been on my wanders around the city daily and see a lot of people kicking about in masks even in uncrowded spaces. Only going to become more prevalent now.

[Waffdon]

You can't go all tweet protection after that. Take the grilling you deserve.

Cba with the notifications but just realised you can mute a tweet so will just do that

[Waffdon]

Ban the cunt.

I’ve been here since I was 12. This is my childhood </3

[Shindig]

Boris needs to pull through this. The resulting street party will put at least Magic and Waff's lives at risk.

[Magic]

Waff. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

It’s a harrowing case for not being negligent isn’t it. Was he not commenting about shaking hands and visiting patients?

Brutal.

Been on my wanders around the city daily and see a lot of people kicking about in masks even in uncrowded spaces. Only going to become more prevalent now.

It's been round Westminster like wildfire. Half the ministers have had it and a Labour MP is also in intensive care I think, or at least in hospital.

Working in Downing Street there are bound to have been multiple people introducing it for weeks.

[Spoonsky]

I like Shane being blamed for the last election.

1247244510616342530

[7om]

1247252077513977857?s=20

It’s been deleted.

[Waffdon]

Boris needs to pull through this. The resulting street party will put at least Magic and Waff's lives at risk.

Done a search to see if I ever mentioned my work and I haven’t. Happy days. Should really use a separate account.

[Queenslander]

Can they find you by using your profile photo?

[Giggles]

The other lad in your profile picture will get a clatter out and about tomorrow and not have a clue why.

[Spikey M]

It’s been deleted.

https://i.ibb.co/jb5rW24/IMG-20200406-215238.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/R4FyQpq/IMG-20200406-215245.jpg

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

The other lad in your profile picture will get a clatter out and about tomorrow and not have a clue why.

:D

[Waffdon]

Can they find you by using your profile photo?

I don’t have any other social media so I’m fine. Think I posted it on here right enough

[Lewis]

They probably just e-mailed the job centre on a hunch.

[Waffdon]

He’s not on ventilator so you can all rest easy.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

What about if someone, oh...I don't know, a fellow local, was to print out pictures of the tweet with profile picture and plaster them all down Carnoustie High Street?

[Waffdon]

As long as my @ is on there, sure why not.

The replies to me and other replies to the post were far worse. Must have been the gif

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have no particular love for Boris as I've written in the politics thread and indeed this thread many times, but this has properly shaken me up. Guess the PM is almost like an uncle/aunt we all have, whether we like them or not, so it hits close to home.

[John]

You're a fucking rocket, Waff.

[Waffdon]

Aye, correct. Anything to liven lockdown up a wee bit. Looking forward to checking my work emails tomorrow.

[Spoonsky]

I have no particular love for Boris as I've written in the politics thread and indeed this thread many times, but this has properly shaken me up. Guess the PM is almost like an uncle/aunt we all have, whether we like them or not, so it hits close to home.

Same here, and I'm surprised how much it's affected me. But as you say, public figures are familiar enough to us that it feels like for the first time someone I know has got it, rather than the horde of faceless nonnas. I think it also has to do with the fact that Boris is usually such a comedy figure (and weirdly invincible) that the idea of him actually dying is totally dissonant.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know how I'd feel if President Donald J. Trump got it. Probably the same.

[Spikey M]

I'm assuming that calling someone a 'rocket' has very different connotations in Scotland.

[Spikey M]

I don't know how I'd feel if President Donald J. Trump got it. Probably the same.

Nah. I've never been a fan of Borris. He has his faults, but he's atleast recognisable human. He has thoughts, opinions and feelings.

Trump is a psychopath. And I mean that literally.

[Foe]

I'm assuming that calling someone a 'rocket' has very different connotations in Scotland.

It’s an insult I’d forgotten even existed.

Like calling someone a turnip. Classic.

[Shindig]

Nah. I've never been a fan of Borris. He has his faults, but he's atleast recognisable human. He has thoughts, opinions and feelings.

And a kid on the way.

[Spikey M]

It’s an insult I’d forgotten even existed.

Like calling someone a turnip. Classic.

Yeah, it means fit/hot/sexy here.

[Lofty]

I think the thing that worries about Boris is he has access to the best medical care so if he dies from it then the rest of us are fucked.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-52191147

Just the latest management morons to have to row back on inhuman fuck ups. This really has shone a light on many things but one of them is the decision-making processes that go on at the top of (often large) companies.

[Revolution]

I think the thing that worries about Boris is he has access to the best medical care so if he dies from it then the rest of us are fucked.

It doesn't really work like that when really, we have no clue how to treat it.

[Luca]

Done a search to see if I ever mentioned my work and I haven’t. Happy days. Should really use a separate account.

If not, I hear Amazon is hiring...

[Baz]

I think the thing that worries about Boris is he has access to the best medical care so if he dies from it then the rest of us are fucked.Well you’re not spending all day in meetings with lots of different people everyday so your chances of catching it are hardly comparable.

[Shindig]

In meetings with other people that have shown symptoms, no less.

[Waffdon]

If not, I hear Amazon is hiring...

I’d get six months paid leave before even coming close to being sacked, never mind for a Tweet. I think I’m fine.