The All New Jobs Thread

[Spikey M]

i feel like i've watched that show at least 4 times completely and have no fucking idea what "cheese burger" is in reference to

Pass. To add further context, he was saying something along the lines of "'You've selected Cheeeese Buuuuurgeeeer' hahaha it's so vewy funny. I love that humour"

[phonics]

Pass. To add further context, he was saying something along the lines of "'You've selected Cheeeese Buuuuurgeeeer' hahaha it's so vewy funny. I love that humour"

There was an episode where they installed a vending machine but nothings coming to me.

[Spikey M]

I must have seen every episode, but I don't have any recollection of it.

[igor_balis]

I'm part Polish so you might have to have a rethink, lads.

[Spikey M]

Nah, it's the British side that fucks you over.

[Lewis]

'So I'm Pole-ish!'
*gets ignored by everyone*
'Pole-ISH. Ish. Like a...'
*leans in and spills his pint on the pool table*

[Spikey M]

It's a fold down train table.

Get it right.

[igor_balis]

The most wacky play on words re: my polishness was "Irritating Pole Syndrome" to honour my excessive shitting and annoying personality, but it was one of my well random mates rather than me.

And actually me and my colleague played some pool tonight at Riley's and challenged two lads to a game of doubles, and rather than spilling my pint I made a cracking double. They said "shot, mate" and everything.

[mo]

Well, I'd like to be returning to the thread triumphant, having exceeded expectations, but it is not so. And I'm actually a little relieved.

Firstly, they stuck an extra interview in (a 'Teaching and Learning' one, to get a handle on your classroom experience). This wasn't on the itinerary for the day so I was pretty unprepared for this. They also cocked up the timing so everything ran late, lots of waiting around in the hot, sopporific staffroom.

They then revealed there would be a cut before the final interview, which I didn't make it to. I was up against one internal candidate (1.5 years experience) and another external who'd been doing the Head of History role at another school for 3 years already, so this was a sideways move. Both had gone to the school and the sideways move still lived there, so really he only wanted it for the commute. I get the impression he was picking up on the things that I wasn't so keen on as well, such as their draconian performance management practices.

They also sprung a data task on us, again not in the itinerary, if kind of expected for this sort of post.

(Oh and it fucking pissed down all day, so got soaked during the school tour. Brilliant.)

And now, finally, I'm having to contact them for my feedback. I can't ring as the reception is closed so hoping my email gets picked up. They really should be ringing me, as a courtesy.

So, a little bit miffed, but ultimately I think for the best. Would've been nice to experience the final interview for future, but a waste of time on their part. My main takeaway is that 1) I still am awful at interviews. To be fair, I prepared myself for the leadership aspects which would've been in the final interview, but anyone half decent should be able to get through what was a pretty tame Teaching and Learning interview, even unprepared and 2) expect the unexpected!

Got to find the energy now for 45 Y9 assessments, planning a Y11 pre-exam lesson and afterschool revision session.

[Ian]

I am bored out of my tree so far in this job. I feel like I don't know much and thus don't have much to do yet.

However my probation review was overflowing with praise and talking all about how I was ahead of where they thought I'd be for workload, etc. So the only conclusion I can draw is that either their standards for new starts are very, very low or I'm some sort of engineering prodigy.

[bruhnaldo]

Hey that's ok @mo, I know you're going to get an even better opportunity soon.

[Spikey M]

Shit news @mo, but chin up.

I was going to say 'you'll always be our Head of History' but Lewis has beaten you to that too. Sorry :(.

[mo]

Cheers gents. Have actually just got off the phone with one of the interviewers for my feedback, which was actually really positive. They asked me about a time I taught a successful lesson, and didn't like that I picked a Geography lesson (tbh it was the last lesson I taught on Monday so freshest in memory) which I thought was a tad harsh. They said a few more examples would have been good, but that generally I answered the questions well and my interview didn't let me down, which was pleasing to know. They just felt the other two drew on a greater range of examples.

They still haven't decided though, which strikes me as a bit tinpot. The expectation in teaching is they let you know on the day.

[Panda Bear]

You're only going to be more prepared the next time, both in teaching experience and in interview experience. In a year and a half's time, you'll be competing against someone who's in your shoes now.

[Giggles]

The coffee machine is broken. There's going to be killings today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there no kettle?

[Giggles]

Is there no kettle?

There is, but there's no coffee that you can make by boiling the kettle.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For the last half hour, one of my colleagues has been repeatedly dialling I guess west Africa and saying 'Can I speak to Adama Traoré?' with apparently no success. Must have been a good 15 calls now. It's slightly surreal.

[Baz]

Should try calling West Midlands instead.

[Boydy]

I need a new fucking job.

[phonics]

Me too. Empire Magazine and the Premier League are looking for designers so I think I'll apply for both and see what happens. Gamespots also looking for a video editor.

[Ian]

Gamespot is still a thing???

[phonics]

Yeah, they're way less relevant now but could be a useful way to get into working in the US.

[Shindig]

If you can deal with San Francisco's cost of living. I suspect you can. I'm finished for a fortnight and another lad left today. He's going to Japan for six months which means he's not coming back.

[mo]

Got a job alert this morning. They’ve re-advertised the job I went for. No idea what happened there, but given they couldn’t make a decision on the day I guess it’s not that surprising.

I always wonder when schools re-advertise jobs, who they think will apply this time around if they didn’t before?

[Spikey M]

Worth chancing your arm with a quick phone call?

[Giggles]

Couldn't hurt.

[mo]

It has crossed my mind. They don’t normally take applications from previous candidates, and I think I mentioned before that there were a few red flags. This would be another to be honest.

[phonics]

I've been on holiday today, get several frantic texts from my boss that I have 'NOT COMPLETED TASKS BEFORE SIGNING OUT' only to find out that the task I have 'FAILED TO COMPLETE MY EXPECTED DUTIES' on is that there's a label on the contents page that says HIV Vaccine instead of HIV Vaccines (which is what was in the text provided to me), something that would take literally anyone about 5 seconds to fix in inDesign, but because everyone is terrified of non-Microsoft Office products means I'm in the shitter for.

I'm quitting. Back to the UK for me. Can't be bothered with the drama that happens every time I leave the office for 12 hours. Yet whenever I need anything, I'm supposed to wait for up to a week for a response because 'there's a lot going on'. Sick of it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Welcome home, please do try the tinned tuna.

[phonics]

Welcome home, please do try the tinned tuna.

At least it won't cost 6 quid.

[Ian]

And the hot cross buns.

[Lewis]

I got five-hundred quid out of the 'In Year Reward Scheme' for all of my hard work and other fictions. :cool:

[thommo]

Profit share bonus came in today, 8% which is the highest it has been in the past decade according to some of the old hats. Nice little surprise for a Friday.

[Baz]

The main forum index page has been blocked in work :(

It’s been nice knowing you.

[Ian]

You got the tournament finished before it happened, that's the important thing. :thbup:

[SvN]

The main forum index page has been blocked in work :(

It’s been nice knowing you.

Here's an alternate URL - does this work?

http://dev.thethirdhalf.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?3-The-Third-Half

[phonics]

Im done.

Just got an e-mail from someone requesting a web-banner to advertise on a partners website. So I reply back asking for the resolution at which point my boss who was cc'd in replies just to me and says 'They probably don't know, just make several and they can choose which one they like best'.

What a fucking idiot. I have no idea why content creation is under communications because she doesn't have a fucking clue when it comes to any of it.

[SvN]

Do them at ridiculous sizes like 120 x 5000

[Pepe]

Just do all of the sizes, how hard can it be.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just do all of the sizes, how hard can it be.

Winner.

[phonics]

Just do all of the sizes, how hard can it be.

I just did variations of 420*69 and 69*420

[Magic]

My shite company car adds 12k on to my wage, so I paid £1,250 tax this month. Bastard. 8k at 40%.

[phonics]

Is there literally anything about this promotion/raise that you :drool:'d at us with that is actually good?

[Foe]

Bonus pay day today.

Great for the number received. Depressing for the number lost to tax.

:drool: / :(

[phonics]

Unlucky, in Geneva all the trading companies pay the juniors nearly half the yearly salary (on top of their normal salary so effectively 1.5x per annum) in as a bonus as it counts as an un-taxed donation. Friend of mine paid off his entire student loan in one go.

The bastard.

[Foe]

Guess the jokes on me for my taxable 17.5% bonus.

Celebrated with weetabix for tea.

[phonics]

Guess the jokes on me for my taxable 17.5% bonus.

Celebrated with weetabix for tea.

You should list the oilrig as your home address and claim you're offshore. HMRC'll never see it coming.

[Spikey M]

Claim Foe is just a character you're playing.

[Spikey M]

I just had a job advert appear in one of my 7 daily emails from Indeed. I still look at them, because whilst my job ain't bad, I wouldn't mind fucking off asap.

Anyway, the advert states:

"An exciting opportunity as Lead Compliance Officer, has arisen within the Gypsy and Traveller Service (GTS).


Our (KCC owned) sites are home to over 550 members of the Gypsy and Traveller community, and GTS is responsible for providing them with a safe environment in which to live, whilst promoting the integration and diversity of these communities in Kent.


The role of the Lead Compliance Officer is: To develop, implement and review standards and policies for the Gypsy and Traveller Service leading enforcement and compliance activity work."

So, telling travellers how to live and enforcing fines issued against them? Cracking stuff. Sounds suicidal, but I bet the wage is good.

"Starting salary £28,413 per annum | Fixed Term for 18 months, Full Time 37 hours per week"

:lol:

[Magic]

Is there literally anything about this promotion/raise that you :drool:'d at us with that is actually good?

It's quite good fun? I still took 2.7k after tax.

[Baz]

Here's an alternate URL - does this work?

http://dev.thethirdhalf.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?3-The-Third-Half
Nope.


Content of type Pornography ( Content filtering ) blocked.

:cab:

[SvN]

Do you have access to your hosts file?

[Baz]

Do you have access to your hosts file?No. can’t change anything on C.

I presume it’s temporary cos the filter doesn’t like a thread title or something. :yn:

[Spikey M]

At least it won't cost 6 quid.

#Brexit mate. Give it time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I work Saturday and Sunday (as in they ask me to do so, not me taking work home), do they have to give me day(s) off in lieu?

I don't have my contract to hand but just wondered what normal practice would be. As it stands with a trip abroad I'll be working 12 days on the trot.

[Ian]

If you've not come across it before I'd just ask the question.

If you ask your manager are they likely to try and get away with shafting you? Whenever I went away in my last place I expected the time back.

[Shindig]

With our work, you can work a fortnight straight because it's against the EU directive.

[Foe]

Get it in writing from your boss (and ensure it's clear it's been approved with hr) that you'll take two days in lieu for the time you miss whilst on work business.

Then take the days. If anyone queries it refer to the email.

[phonics]

We sent out a press release condeming Brunei's anti-gay laws the other day.

I just got this reply back "Sir I agree with the Brunei Government . Sodomites are not gays they are devils the enemies of the living God. They will all be destroyed in fire together with their sponsors and supporters.

Now go away and prepare yourself for the lake of fire. You devil."

Why are you on the mailing list for an HIV organisation if you hate gay people?

[Ian]

Well I suppose it means they don't have to seek out ways to be angry on the internet. Just get it right in their inbox, as it were.

[Baz]

Why are you on the mailing list for an HIV organisation if you hate gay people?Maybe one gave him it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So at one point he loved them?

[Shindig]

It might have been rape.

[Spikey M]

We sent out a press release condeming Brunei's anti-gay laws the other day.

I just got this reply back "Sir I agree with the Brunei Government . Sodomites are not gays they are devils the enemies of the living God. They will all be destroyed in fire together with their sponsors and supporters.

Now go away and prepare yourself for the lake of fire. You devil."

Why are you on the mailing list for an HIV organisation if you hate gay people?

I'd wager that atleast 50% of homophobes are self hating, religious, closet cases.

[phonics]

Got sent a logo for a report today and assumed it must be a joke but nope, apparently no-one in the design process pointed out it looks like a knob.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D3oolpwWwAIkZWz.png

[niko_cee]

:D

Outstanding.

[Shindig]

Or everyone in the process knew exactly what they were doing. Like how the A-Style logo looks like people fucking.

[phonics]

Ran out of shirts this morning so had to put one on that doesn't fit. I'm wearing a jumper on top of it with just the very bottom button and the very top done up.

[Baz]

Received an e-mail inviting me to a "social media training course" from these guys (https://twitter.com/acm_training) who have managed to amass 28 followers in six years. :cab:

[Ian]

They have 28 followers from just 45 tweets, whereas you're only gaining a follower about every 3-and-a-half tweets.

They could teach you a lot about efficiency.

[Baz]

Had an email at work re: internet usage. :uhoh:

I hereby hang up my boots for the tournament thingy, because I like my job and don’t wanna mess it up. Soz lads.

[Giggles]

Had an email at work re: internet usage. :uhoh:

I hereby hang up my boots for the tournament thingy, because I like my job and don’t wanna mess it up. Soz lads.

What do you mean for the tournament thing? It's over isn't it, or were you planning on it annually?

[Magic]

Working in sales for a service company when the service side is full of morons is really shit and difficult.

[Panda Bear]

Had an email at work re: internet usage. :uhoh:

I hereby hang up my boots for the tournament thingy, because I like my job and don’t wanna mess it up. Soz lads.

I hate shit like that. If you're not getting your work done, sure. But if you are?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am at a trade fair in Munich, which involves doing endlessly long days and then simultaneous translation client dinners until midnight. I was supposed to be here Wed-Sun, arriving home Sunday lunchtime - a bit knackering but at least I had Sunday pm to rest before going back to work Monday.

I got up at 3am yesterday to get the early flight, and arrived at our stand at 11am. I hadn't even put my suitcase under the table when my boss said 'By the way, I now need you to stay until Monday evening because we need someone to help clear up.' I had absolutely no way of telling him to do one, a) because he's my boss and b) because El Presidente was also in earshot.

As such, I now get back Monday around 11pm and will be straight back in the office Tuesday, and by Thursday will have worked 11 days in a row (6 of them in this German hell hole).

My current plan is to go in on Tuesday and as politely as possible tell the boss that they are an exploitative bunch of amateurs. For context, I'm on under 30k.

[Baz]

I hate shit like that. If you're not getting your work done, sure. But if you are?Indeed.

Thankfully I use the internet a lot for work stuff so I had a valid excuse. My boss knew this so just replied to the audit saying it’s not an issue, close the case, and advised me to close my internet browsers when I’m not explicitly looking at them, which suits me.

And yeah Giggles I figured it could be something every two years or something, I dunno.

[Panda Bear]

Jimmy, your salary being under 30k is exactly why they're okay with treating you like that.

[Pepe]

That feeling when Korea turns out to be the good guy.

[Spikey M]

I'd be demanding a pretty heft pay rise considering what you're doing for them.

[phonics]

We've hired a new comms person from London that has come fully equipped with all the terms I hate as part of her vocabulary.

I've got a meeting with her tomorrow about something that she has put in my calendar as 'A quick download of 'subject''

[Spikey M]

Comms.

[Baz]

Apparently it means communications, which is somehow different to marketing.

[phonics]

Apparently it means communications, which is somehow different to marketing.

It's marketing and PR.

[Spikey M]

Comms.

[Panda Bear]

We've hired a new comms person from London that has come fully equipped with all the terms I hate as part of her vocabulary.

I've got a meeting with her tomorrow about something that she has put in my calendar as 'A quick download of 'subject''what

[Spikey M]

She wants to touch base.

[mo]

For some blue sky thinking.

[Boydy]

A couple of new guys started in my place recently. One is a proper autistic, he's surely got an official diagnosis. The other sits beside me and he's fidgety as fuck. Constantly moving shit about on his desk, clicking his pen, drumming on the desk etc. He talks to himself quite a bit too. I hear him mumbling all the time. He only started on Monday and he's doing my fucking head in already.

[Lewis]

Where I work has the main floor and our little office, which the rest of them come in and out of our little office depending on what they're doing. We've had a woman in there all week doing some spreadsheet stuff, and she just sits tutting and sighing waiting for someone to ask her why, which between us we've agreed not to, and it gets louder and more dramatic until she finally gives in.

[Offshore Toon]

Where I work has the main floor and our little office, which the rest of them come in and out of our little office depending on what they're doing. We've had a woman in there all week doing some spreadsheet stuff, and she just sits tutting and sighing waiting for someone to ask her why, which between us we've agreed not to, and it gets louder and more dramatic until she finally gives in.
Women love that. I've got one who, when asked why she was yawning so loud, said "well, I'm allowed to make myself known."

[Boydy]

I don't think he's looking for anyone to engage with him. I just stick my headphones on now so I don't hear him. I can still see him fidgeting out of the corner of my eye though.

[Boydy]

I think he might have tourettes or OCD or something.

[Mike]

For some blue sky thinking.
If someone at work ever uses a phrase like that I always ask what it means, just to see how they explain it. I’ve no idea why I do it, keeps me entertained though.

[Ian]

My old loved all that so we used to make up ridiculous new ones to mock him. Problem was there'd be a third or quarter of them he genuinely liked and would try to remember to use.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm about to go to my third customer dinner in a row (at which I am basically a free translation service), three more 12 hour days to go after this (all standing up throughout) before three more days at the office. Send help.

[Giggles]

What's the market like? I'd be inclined to skip the last day, get the flight home, and see how long they take to realise you're gone.

[phonics]

Just steal all their customers and hire some Koreans.

[igor_balis]

I had a great time at the first (and probably last) trade fair I went to. Tiny independent company that sold subscriptions to their constantly updating database of job leads etc for companies working in the museum industry. Boss lady, 60-something American lady who set it up on her own, well respected and liked in the industry, the original sales guy, 50-something bloke who'd been doing it five years, and ME, incomprehensibly hired with zero experience and aptitude. The three of us were there for a 2 day conference in Brum.

I spent a day just dicking around, chatting to blokes at stands, making token efforts at selling shit etc. Boss lady went for lunch at 12 and told me we'd cruise the stalls as a duo when she got back at 1ish. She came back at 3.30 absolutely wrecked, told me the kitchen in the restaurant they'd gone to had CAUGHT ON FIRE, they'd been given complimentary drinks in the bar until they, er, put the fire out. That was the story I got anyway. We went to like 2 stalls, then she loudly said how much "that guy is such a fucking creep". About 10 people obviously heard, including said creep, then she said "fuck this conference, Igor, we ain't gonna sell shit" or something like that, and she called it a day. Got to stay in the swanky hotel she'd booked for the night, stayed up watching an Aus vs NZ test until about 3 am, and went home at 9am. She paid me for both days as well. I miss that job.

[Pepe]

Did you lick her anus?

[Shindig]

Ah, Episode 23 of Imaginary Igor.

[igor_balis]

Ah, Episode 23 of Imaginary Igor.

Do you genuinely think I make up these weird stories? If I was gonna go through all the effort of constructing anecdotes they wouldn't be so boring.

Besides, I'm not even creative enough to use artistic license and slightly adjust them to be more interesting. Reading back through that post I think the only thing I possibly exaggerated is how late I stayed up watching cricket. Maybe it was more like 1.30ish.

[igor_balis]

Maybe the problem is that rather than properly opening up and sharing the mundane day to day shit that happens to me, I just cherry pick the weird stuff, so it comes across as a false attempt to create some kinda wacky persona. Basically it's up to you Shinners, either I keep popping in every three weeks or so with an instalment of Igor says the damndest things or I spam the forum with updates on what asda salad I bought. x

[Shindig]

Did you eat the salad out of some bird's arse?

[igor_balis]

no

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would you though?

[Waffdon]

Shindig is a nonce pass it on

[Jimmy Floyd]

What's the market like? I'd be inclined to skip the last day, get the flight home, and see how long they take to realise you're gone.

We're down to just three men now (from an original 13) so I figure they'd notice. Will be 2 men by the bitter end.

If you like building machinery it is pretty amazing. Caterpillar's hangar has a dump truck the size of China.

[Shindig]

If you're the only one that speaks any German, they'll definitely notice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We had four Germans until yesterday, but they hopped back in their Panzer so now we have me, a fatter, older Brit, and a cut-out-and-keep Italian. For 2 days.

[Spikey M]

Jimmy. Stop being a pussy. Call your boss, tell him you're knackered and you want a couple of days off when you get back in lieu of your missed weekend.

[Magic]

That igor/shinners interaction made my skin crawl.

[Spikey M]

It's like a League 2 version of Giggles vs Kiko.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jimmy. Stop being a pussy. Call your boss, tell him you're knackered and you want a couple of days off when you get back in lieu of your missed weekend.

Oh I'll tell him that when I'm back, not sure I'll get them though.

[Giggles]

It's like a League 2 version of Giggles vs Kiko.

Me and the self anointed man of the people are the Isthmian Premier :cool:

[phonics]

Job passed through my inbox advertising 'Content Creator for Branded Content at Golfing World' and I'm not sure I could think of a worse social media job than having to make viral banter videos with Sergio Garcia showing off his nike clubs.

[Shindig]

There might actually be an end in sight if the upcoming automation trial works out. Can't see it, though. Not when the majority of our errors come from the professionals assessing claimants. No doubt I'll be quoting this post in six months time and taking VR.

[randomlegend]

FY1 friend did a 12 hour on-call yesterday and then the night FY1 called in sick. The night reg told them if they didn't stay and cover (and in doing so work 24 hours straight, 60 hours across 4 days) he'd report them to the GMC.

Thankfully she told him politely where he could shove that suggestion. This hospital wants burning down and starting again.

[Baz]

Goddamn Lee.

[phonics]

Hi,

The speaker line-up is now live for the The National Construction Expo (http://www.constructioneventuk.com/mailster/156/b767d4e93ccfaa0b3c9feab42d643317/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5uYXRpb25hbGNvbnN0cnVjdGlvbmV4cG8uY2 8udWsv) which is a conference and expo being held on May 1st 2019 in the Marshall Arena, Milton Keynes.
As part of keeping you up to date with a variety of events across various sectors, I would like to offer you a free ticket to attend. Simply register on the site and a badge will be waiting for you.

The event is also collocated with these other events. Delegates are free to move between events

The National Construction Expo (http://www.constructioneventuk.com/mailster/156/b767d4e93ccfaa0b3c9feab42d643317/aHR0cDovL25hdGlvbmFsY29uc3RydWN0aW9uZXhwby5jby51ay 8)
The Smart & Green Building Expo (http://www.constructioneventuk.com/mailster/156/b767d4e93ccfaa0b3c9feab42d643317/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5zbWFydGFuZGdyZWVuYnVpbGRpbmdleHBvLm NvLnVrLw)
The National Engineering Expo (http://www.constructioneventuk.com/mailster/156/b767d4e93ccfaa0b3c9feab42d643317/aHR0cDovL25hdGlvbmFsZW5naW5lZXJpbmdleHBvLmNvbS8)
Health & Safety Live Expo (http://www.constructioneventuk.com/mailster/156/b767d4e93ccfaa0b3c9feab42d643317/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5oZWFsdGhhbmRzYWZldHlsaXZlLmNvbS8)
Facility Management & Maintenance Show (http://www.constructioneventuk.com/mailster/156/b767d4e93ccfaa0b3c9feab42d643317/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5mYWNpbGl0eWFuZG1haW50ZW5hbmNlZXhwby 5jby51ay8)



Can't wait...

[Pepe]

2019's TTH meet will be held in the third one.

[Baz]

Have any of you got any tips in regards to having an appraisal at work? I’ve been working for nearly 13 years but only ever really worked for franchises run by cowboys who run the show however they can get away with, and I honestly can’t remember ever having a proper appraisal. I’ve been at this job since September and most of my colleagues (with a different line manager) have been having their appraisals lately. I presume mine is coming soon, and want to be prepared.

My jobs great, mostly. I've mentioned her before but there's one colleague who constantly takes credit for my work but as she’s best mates with our line manager, I feel it’s best not to even mention it in my appraisal. Right? She’s somehow made a career out of digging out previous colleagues old work, briefly updating it and taking credit for it by presenting it as a brand new creation she’s been working on for ages. Then because it quickly goes out of date (and it’s mostly really bad) my line manager’s manager (big boss) asked me to update it, so I took nearly all day yesterday making it actually functional (one of the cells in the spreadsheet literally said =SUM(C53) ffs) and painstakingly updating the annual budgets. Then about 20 minutes after she realised I’d finished, emailed it to our line manager as if to say she’d done it. It’s not been mentioned yet but if she gets credited with this one in a big team meeting, like previously, I’m gonna struggle not to speak up.

Anyway, appraisals! Yeah I’ll be positive about everything, I reckon. I generally just sit quietly and get on with my job while the other 8 people in the office chat rubbish about Game of Thrones, Marvel movies, old Friends episodes, that sort of stuff. I mean I’m not some loser who sits silent all day and doesn’t join in with any conversation, but I’m sure everyone knows I’m there to do my job well, and not much else. Ironically I somehow got put in charge of sorting out “workplace health and wellbeing” so there’s staff from all over the company coming to meetings to discuss how we can support the workforce and what changes need to be made to deal with pressure and stress and worry and whatever else people get caught up about at work. As someone who has never felt stressed in his life, and whose approach to everything is “just get on with it” I’m definitely not the best person to come up with “workplace initiatives” and create a “mental health pledge.” But here I am, nine months later, pretending I think that workplace wellbeing is an issue I’m passionate about, and so far haven’t told anyone to pipe down and just do what they’re paid to do. Phew! I mean I understand people have problems at work, but I don’t, and never have, because I just get on with it. Why can’t everyone have this outlook? It would make work a lot easier to deal with, for those people.

Anyway, appraisals! I’ve created a list of my “responsibilities” and it is surprisingly long, actually, and have listed the various training/development I’ve had in my nine months of working here. I honestly couldn’t tell you what my job is though. Like I do so many bits in lots of areas that I can’t really pinpoint my actual job. My Facebook profile lists my job title as “Best At Spreadsheets,” and thankfully I can back that up, because everyone else is very bad at them, but I don’t just do them. I mean, I could happily sit and just process invoices all day everyday but that’s not really an option because of all the other stuff.

It seems like nobody ever really recognises that someone might be happy just doing what they’re doing. Appraisals seem to be about short term and long term goals; what you hope to achieve and where you wish to be in twelve months’ time. I wanna be sat in a nice big house in a nice area with nice possessions and a happy family and good friends and lots of hair and a tan, but realistically only two of those will come true. Obviously I want to be making more money (who doesn’t?) but as for work stuff, I dunno? Potter on, continue as is, something about status quo. Sure if you offer me the job of big boss I’ll take it, or even a slight promotion to whatever’s next, but I don’t strive for success and aspire to be the top gun.

I hated my previous job with a passion. I was there for over four years and the last two where like torture (but I didn’t get stressed over it, I must, er, stress). I’ve finally got a job I not only don’t hate, but actually enjoy. I can roll in at practically whenever I want and go home at four o’clock everyday if I want; it’s about five minutes’ drive from my house; the office is really nice and everyone who works here, within my team and across the whole office, is really friendly. It’s great. I even organised the Grand National Sweepstake, which felt like a bit of a risk considering I work in Public Health, but everyone lapped it up – brill. So in twelve months’ time I hope everything’s the same.

You’ve probably not read it but there are some kids books about a cat called Mog. Out of all the kids books I’ve read with my daughter, they’re some of the few I’ll happily go back to and read over and over. But this cat, Mog, notoriously doesn’t like things to be exciting. She likes things to be the same. Me too, Mog; me too.

So what should I do to prepare for my appraisal? And what should I do during it? Pretend I want to be the top gun, right? Lie about made up aspirations of progressing to the top and taking ownership of my own projects and portfolios? Eurgh, I just wanna dick about with spreadsheets, pay doctors for doing chlamydia tests. encourage people to gamble once a year, then go home and enjoy my actual life.

[Ian]

Depends how formal it is, in my experience.

But make sure they actually know everything you're doing, if you can dig up emails and shit that prove it all the better. I don't think there's any point pretending to have aspirations you don't have because if they're not a cunt then they may put stuff in place to help you achieve them. If they push you for what you're thinking regarding next steps or whatever just be vague. Obviously it varies depending on the organisation you're working for but I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you're happy where you are just now if you have solid reasons (the hours, the team, etc.) to back it up rather than it just sounding like you're aimless and want to progress but don't know what to.

[Boydy]

"This woman keeps taking credit for the work I do but she's actually useless."

"I've never had any problems at work."

Hmm.

[bruhnaldo]

Someone get me a job in Europe I'm bored.

[Bartholomert]

My boss has been telling my he's going to give me a raise every week for the last month. Still no raise and it's been two pay-cycles. I'm not sure what I do at this stage...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Quit.

[bruhnaldo]

Be assertive you fuckin pansy.

[Giggles]

Open a kebab shop in Leeds.

[Bartholomert]

Be assertive you fuckin pansy.

What do I even say? I went to him yesterday, and I was like "hey can I have some clarification on my new salary and when I'll start receiving it" and he said "I have to confirm the exact figure with the other partners, it's on my list of things to do"....which is pretty much what he said two weeks ago. If I'm honest it feels like he's delaying which worries me...this is America after all and I'm gone after two weeks notice in theory...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Open a kebab shop in Leeds.

https://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/turkish-doner-kebab-vector-id493740874

The dream.

I was going to get the one from Teh 'Fuge but the bastards Taptalk have removed all our fucking smileys.

[Mike]

We have that stupid ‘what do you want to do in the next year’ thing in ours, and after 10 years of making up rubbish I answered exactly like Baz wants to in my last one, then sat there until after a while they moved on. Was asked to go away and really think about it and if I come up with something go back. I didn’t.

We also have to think up a way to improve the school.

[Shindig]

Sweet ramps and an airport.

[Boydy]

The senior guy on my team (second to the manager on a team of 7), who I've always thought was a bit consdescending and kinda unapproachable for help said something which I think stepped way over the fucking line to me on Slack today when I was asking for help with a problem. I'm still pissed off about it tonight and it happened this morning. Was considering raising a complaint with someone above him throughout the day. But then the only people above him really are the manager of the team who's really sound but they've been there together for about three years and are good friends or the project manager who doesn't seem to like me much.

Not really sure what to do. Probably just ignore it and try to interact with him as little as possible. That project's ended now anyway so our team's breaking up as well move onto other things anyway so avoiding hm shouldn't be too hard. Also planning to leave in the summer anyway.

[Lewis]

*doesn't even include the quote*

[Boydy]

I couldn't be arsed typing out all the context around it.

[Lewis]

I put 'I like my job and I'm good at it' for my appraisal and my line manager asked me to do it again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My appraisal involved me going into a room, being told by El Presidente how long the company has been running for, and then walking out again with a decent pay hike. Was a bit tougher in the Korean days where you had to fill in endless online forms full of their gibberish.

[phonics]

The senior guy on my team (second to the manager on a team of 7), who I've always thought was a bit consdescending and kinda unapproachable for help said something which I think stepped way over the fucking line to me on Slack today when I was asking for help with a problem. I'm still pissed off about it tonight and it happened this morning. Was considering raising a complaint with someone above him throughout the day. But then the only people above him really are the manager of the team who's really sound but they've been there together for about three years and are good friends or the project manager who doesn't seem to like me much.

Not really sure what to do. Probably just ignore it and try to interact with him as little as possible. That project's ended now anyway so our team's breaking up as well move onto other things anyway so avoiding hm shouldn't be too hard. Also planning to leave in the summer anyway.

When I have problems/need help I ask down in the hierarchy not up for exactly this reason and the juniors are happy to google along with you.

[phonics]

I put 'I like my job and I'm good at it' for my appraisal and my line manager asked me to do it again.

Your apathy towards the real world is on the same level as my anger at Boyd prior to him going full Code monkey in 'things that don't affect me but I think about'. So much unfulfilled potential due to not giving a shit.

[Boydy]

When I have problems/need help I ask down in the hierarchy not up for exactly this reason and the juniors are happy to google along with you.

It wasn't really a googleable problem though. I was trying to connect to something that he'd built but it wasn't working. Turned out I was using the wrong URL. I'd taken one from the database which all the other services connecting to it were using. But they worked because they were connecting from a specific server that worked via that URL. I was connecting from elsewhere and needed a URL that was meant for external connections. I eventually figured it out myself but he could have saved me half an hour by just telling me.

When I told him I'd worked it out he said 'correct'. Then I replied with 'you could have just told me' and an exasperated emoji. He then said 'no', 'you need to learn to think critically' (fine so far, bit annoying but fair enough) then said 'that part of your degree is going to be lacking'. I've been finishing off the conversion course in software development I was doing part time alongside this job because they wanted me to start before it was over and I've been talking about it recently because I'm finishing off my dissertation at the minute. I was fucking fuming.

[Lewis]

My job is mega. It's laughably under-paid (for now at least), but it will serve its purpose.

[phonics]

My job is mega. It's laughably under-paid (for now at least), but it will serve its purpose.

I'm sure, but look at the state of the gaffe. You could be running things if you had half the drive of your Gavin Williamsons.

[Pepe]

I put 'I like my job and I'm good at it' for my appraisal and my line manager asked me to do it again.

:lol:

[Pepe]

Boyd got donned senseless. I'd be fuming too.

[Bartholomert]

It wasn't really a googleable problem though. I was trying to connect to something that he'd built but it wasn't working. Turned out I was using the wrong URL. I'd taken one from the database which all the other services connecting to it were using. But they worked because they were connecting from a specific server that worked via that URL. I was connecting from elsewhere and needed a URL that was meant for external connections. I eventually figured it out myself but he could have saved me half an hour by just telling me.

When I told him I'd worked it out he said 'correct'. Then I replied with 'you could have just told me' and an exasperated emoji. He then said 'no', 'you need to learn to think critically' (fine so far, bit annoying but fair enough) then said 'that part of your degree is going to be lacking'. I've been finishing off the conversion course in software development I was doing part time alongside this job because they wanted me to start before it was over and I've been talking about it recently because I'm finishing off my dissertation at the minute. I was fucking fuming.

Tbf that's just bizarrely rude (although your initial message was also pretty off-the-charts unprofessional as well). I've never encountered anything like that in my life, either you're extremely consistently incompetent or you guys have unresolved personal conflicts going back that you might not even be aware of...

For the record, I don't think it was unreasonable for him not to have told you in the first place. As a rule you need to learn to resolve things without asking your superior and wasting his time.

[Shindig]

I'm sure, but look at the state of the gaffe. You could be running things if you had half the drive of your Gavin Williamsons.

Sounds to me like he has the right attitude. Apathy is where all civil servants wind up.

[Spikey M]

Is the return of unnecessarily long posts directly linked to Mer...Barts return?

[Spikey M]

Sounds to me like he has the right attitude. Apathy is where all civil servants wind up.

At best. I was at the 'thinly-veiled hatred' stage before I left.

[Boydy]

although your initial message was also pretty off-the-charts unprofessional as well

We're not a law office. We use slack to send memes and gifs to each other half the time.

[Spikey M]

Banter.

[Shindig]

Needs more hashtags, emojis and memes. And it has to be the only way Boydy and his coding mates ever communicate.

[Offshore Toon]

Handed in my notice at the beginning of last week. Last day is next Friday. One of the menopausal nutjobs cried when I said I was leaving. I'm in the awkward position of having a leaving do to appease other people now, but I'm probably just being a bit miserable again.

But yeah, moving to London. More of the same with digital marketing, but more importantly, this job pays better and is going to be cushty as fuck working with one of my best mates from Jersey. Only a ten minute walk to work too.

[Shindig]

Fair fucks. Just enjoy being the centre of attention for a day and whatever gap you have coming up.

[Offshore Toon]

I think a lot of them feel maternal towards me because I'm the youngest and the only male in the office. Plus, the company is very friendly on the whole and most people have been working there for ages, so whenever somebody leaves I guess its a bigger deal than other places.

[Pepe]

Casual drinks incoming.

[Baz]

Informal lagers. :dc:

[Shindig]

Business bitters. I mean, that should be an alternative thread title.

[Spikey M]

Working Whiskys with the lads.

[Bartholomert]

We're not a law office. We use slack to send memes and gifs to each other half the time.

I can confirm, I've never sent anyone in my office an emoji let alone a meme...So I guess more justification to feel like my life / work is objectively above-average levels of emotionally exhausting :|

[Kikó]

Informal lagers. :dc:

Noted. Please pencil it into the diary.

[Magic]

We use Teams and two other UNIFIED COMMS platforms because they form part of our portfolio. Pain in the arse

[Baz]

I’ve got a two day mental health first aid course next week. :cab:

Got a work night out on Thursday too. I’ve been out with one of them before (tall guy I used to sit next to) and we got really drunk. About eight going this time, including said tall guy, and some women. Some of them can’t stop talking about it; I hope it’s not a rubbish night. One guys booked the Friday off; loser.

Then in a few weeks we have an “away day” (wtf) that I had to fill in some lame online survey in advance for. Was groups of words like “kind & compassionate,” “fun-loving & popular,” “logical & steady,” etc and you had to say which words best described you, least described you, and then rank the other two sets. 25 times! Was torturous, anyway. All so I can get told what colour I am. :moop:

[Giggles]

Mental health first aid. Fucking hell.

I don't know whether that gets a :D or a :nono:

[Shindig]

We've got something like that coming up. Given that I'm ringing up mentally ill people, I should participate.

[Baz]

Mental health first aid. Fucking hell.

I don't know whether that gets a :D or a :nono:I haven’t a clue what it’s about. I think I’d rather be an accredited first aider, than whatever the hell a mental health first aider is.

[Spikey M]

'Just tell them to cheer up'

[Giggles]

Was listening to two little fat lads on the bus the other evening, sounded like they'd met on tinder or something, but they were rattling off their "mental health issues" to each other like each was a bigger badge of honour than the last one.

[Baz]

What were you doing on a bus?

[Raoul Duke]

What were you doing on a bus?

Meeting his Tinder date to talk about his weight issues and lactose intolerance

[Giggles]

What were you doing on a bus?

Concert and pints.

[Spikey M]

Was listening to two little fat lads on the bus the other evening, sounded like they'd met on tinder or something, but they were rattling off their "mental health issues" to each other like each was a bigger badge of honour than the last one.

In my line of work 'I have mental health issues' is just a codified ways of saying 'I don't like taking responsibility for my own life'. 90% of it is pure shite.

[Giggles]

In my line of work 'I have mental health issues' is just a codified ways of saying 'I don't like taking responsibility for my own life'. 90% of it is pure shite.

It's that way all over. Easy way out of everything and all they do is belittle it for the people who actually have issues.

[Shindig]

I'd love to find out the percentages on how many claims for anxiety and depression get booted.

[phonics]

In my line of work 'I have mental health issues' is just a codified ways of saying 'I don't like taking responsibility for my own life'. 90% of it is pure shite.

I like that this post exists on the same forum where a large minority of the active users post in something called 'The Depression Thread' regularly.

[Spikey M]

I like that this post exists on the same forum where a large minority of the active users post in something called 'The Depression Thread' regularly.

I took great pains to say 'in my line of work'. It's a get out of jail free card. I doubt Mahow and the crew are out there assaulting people and refusing to pay their rent and Council Tax.

I regularly have contact with people with genuine Mental Health issues, and by and large they are quite stoic about it and seem to want to resist the label.

That's not to say people with A&D (the fashionable claim of late) don't get themselves into trouble by burying their heads in the sand, they absolutely do, but christ, there's alot of cunts using it as an excuse when there's fuck all wrong with them.

[mo]

Get it all the time in schools too. You haven’t got anxiety, you’re just a self-entitled little cunt.

[Shindig]

Kids haven't the first idea about growing up so it all scares them. That's not illness, that's just fear.

[igor_balis]

Before I left for my week break I fucked up, had a till difference (£60 short), and was a bit worried about the bollocking I'd get on my return. Luckily for me, my colleague told me yesterday that he managed to withdraw a grand from an account and gave it to someone who isn't named on said account. I think I owe him a pint for fucking up so badly that my indiscretion will be practically forgotten.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our boss just came in and slated us for not having seen 'the game' last night (the others don't like football, and I was doing something else).

'You all just live in your little cocoons, don't you? You can't share any experiences in this office.'

Weirdo.

[Ian]

Is your boss Martin Keown?

[Baz]

Watch out for him sticking a reducer on you.

[Shindig]

Anybody else get really riled by call centre staff that really, really can't talk to people like normal human beings? I'm in a training course with two of them tomorrow and they've each had two massive wobblers this week.

[mo]

Confirmed today that another person is leaving our department, meaning that out of 8 there will be 3 of us left going into next year. Possibly less as I’ve applied for another head of History role. Interestingly though, head of year will come up again as one of them is off, so if I don’t get head of history at another school I may go for that again in my current school (applied last year). Either way, hopefully I’ll be making a bit of a step up next year.

[Baz]

Now that I’m a certified First Aider [in Mental Health] the urge to get out of work and further develop myself is strong. Honest. There appears to be an opportunity to be trained to spot extremist propaganda, such as Generation Identity stickers and posters. Probably gonna enquire.

[Giggles]

2 hour drive home became 4 and a half today. Fucking idiots.

[Shindig]

Our Mental Health Awareness thing was canny. Fronted by a bi-polar mental health nurse because ... of course. Very animated but got her points across and there's more knowledge I can use when on the phone to make things a little smoother. And the suicide tip that I'll probably never use.

She suggests if a claimant threatens suicide or harm, ask them their plans and either they calmly explain them (legit, keep them talking) or they just back down. My problem with that is the idea that a claimant will take that as, "They told me to kill myself." and launch a complaint.

[Boydy]

A recruiter contacted me today about a potential Korean adventure. :eyemouth:

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can't say you weren't warned.

[phonics]

You can't say you weren't warned.

Coders are generally treated like Koreans anyway so it's more pay and less need for social niceties. Perfection.

[Boydy]

You can't say you weren't warned.

Oh, I know. I doubt I'd get it anyway as it seemed to be yet another case of recruiters not knowing there's a difference between Java and JavaScript. But even if I did, I'm not sure I'd go for it. The location's terrible and the Glassdoor reviews seem to support everything you've said about Koreans.

[Boydy]

Also, new project at work that I'm currently doing some training for before starting properly seems like it could be really good. But today, the other guy who's going on it (same level as me, started just slightly before me) got taken off it and replaced with that senior guy on my old team that I posted about being a dick a couple of pages ago.

:(

[Smjffy]

I'm struggling today. I've been off since Friday and I've come in today to a brand new menu, most of it off my section and I gotta be honest, I haven't got a clue.

I'm so far out my comfort zone it's horrible. Vegan Mezze....fuck off.

[Offshore Toon]

Ended up getting out of my leaving do by being off sick yesterday, although I genuinely was too ill to go in and felt a bit bad about it being cancelled.

I now have a framed picture of my team, though, which is an absurd gift to give, but admittedly it's pretty funny given it's the last thing I would have asked for. Women are just mental.

[SvN]

A framed photo :D That's hilarious.

[Offshore Toon]

It is well funny. It's eight people looking incredibly awkward then the organiser grinning like mad.

[SvN]

Isn't alcohol the standard leaving gift?

[Offshore Toon]

As a classic 'fuck knows what to get them', yeah, but I got a Ticketmaster voucher as well the picture so they've done well.

[Spikey M]

I demand pic of the pic

[Shindig]

I second that. In other news, had an absolute dog of a day. At least I came home to the news the students above the betting shop have flooded the place.

[Baz]

Had to do some dumb survey thing a while back to choose groups of words that best/least describe me. Then on Tuesday I spent the morning being told about these “insights” and what colour everyone was. I’m cool blue, apparently.

The majority of my profile makes me sound like an autistic weirdo, which was splendid to hear. Some highlights below.


He will seek an environment in which he can be quietly productive.

He often sees when colours match or blend and may have a highly developed taste for art, music and food. Outwardly quiet, reserved and detached, inwardly he is constantly absorbed in analysing problems or situations. Baz has a gift for seeing the important facts of a situation.

Baz is a systematic and organised thinker, with highly developed analytical skills. He is concerned with schedule and system and appears to some to be a very private person.

He greatly prefers to trust what he can hear, smell, taste, touch and see, rather than accept abstract or intangible ideas.

He is usually neat, tidy and orderly, both at work and at home. For him, it is actions that speak louder than words. It will frequently annoy him if words are over-used by others.

Baz is seen by others as reserved and cautious. He will be prepared to remain apart from active participation in new teams. He prefers to integrate slowly into even the most non-threatening situation. He tends not to care how he is seen as measuring up to others' standards as it is his own standards that are important to him.

He may lack an understanding of how his behaviour affects others and can be critical and blunt in giving recommendations for improvement.

He may sometimes encounter difficulties in communications because he would prefer everyone to be as logical and analytical as he is himself.

He is often inwardly absorbed in his current analysis or problem solving and is inclined towards reticence.

:wtf:

Full report here (https://www.dropbox.com/l/scl/AAC05Btg2LQ7expDhLODKuk5XDTtYxU8dK0) if you’re really bored.

[Ian]

Managers in my last place had what sounds like a very similar thing but it was all elements.

"I can't believe they had me as a fire-earth! I'm much more of an air."

Fuck off.

[Smjffy]

So an interesting proposal presented itself to me today. Remember when I opened the B&B? New opportunity is to run one without a wage, rent free in return for free use of kitchen and bar which are currently closed. All profits from food and drink are my own. I'm now having thoughts...

[Ian]

TTH-themed menu?

[Smjffy]

Incinerated Ian dipped in plum sauce served on a bed of watercress, carrot and mooli?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pasta ala Giggles and Molton's Chicken and Broccoli would go down well.

[Spikey M]

Seething Sirloin Steak with Chimp Out Chips.

[Ian]

Idiotmousse.

[Smjffy]

Spikey wins early doors.

[Ian]

If you wanted to go all We Want Plates about it you could serve Spikey's dish "On The Ropes."

And literally just heap it all onto a coil of rope or whatever.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Serve a meal on bald tyres.

[Smjffy]

I've only gone and been offered it. Blackpool is such a dive though. :-/ What to do?

[Danny]

Oh Blackpool? Fuck that noise.

[phonics]

So an interesting proposal presented itself to me today. Remember when I opened the B&B? New opportunity is to run one without a wage, rent free in return for free use of kitchen and bar which are currently closed. All profits from food and drink are my own. I'm now having thoughts...

This is literally serfdom, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think it's a good deal. You realise when you stay at a B&B the food is included in the price...

[niko_cee]

Could be good money in selling pints and full Englishes.

Although, do you have to throw the breakfast in for the B&B angle? And who goes to a B&B for a meal? So, essentially, it sounds like you'd be banking on being permanently stocked with pissheads to exploit in the bar, which, being Blackpool, sounds plausible enough.

[Mike]

Nah, you don’t drink where you’re staying. Maybe a pint before you head off into Blackpool but not more than that. And yeah, surely the only food you’ll shift is the free breakfasts people eat while hungover?

[Smjffy]

This is literally serfdom, you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think it's a good deal. You realise when you stay at a B&B the food is included in the price...

It doesn't offer breakfast at present as the bar lounge and kitchen is closed but we would look to do breakfast for the public too as well as small lunches, picnics for the beach etc. It's big enough to do so and wouldn't need amazing numbers to make a profit.

Could be worth it for now until the season ends at least. I'm going to think it over.

[Smjffy]

Nah, you don’t drink where you’re staying. Maybe a pint before you head off into Blackpool but not more than that. And yeah, surely the only food you’ll shift is the free breakfasts people eat while hungover?

It does have a bar to be fair.

I looked at it as 10-20 guests, that's £5 a fry up, right £50-100 for an hour or two work. 7 days a week. But that's just off top of head. I need to find a way to utilise the bar and figure out how we can make numbers during a lunch. It's nothing special but there is scope to make a bit of dollar whilst gaining the facilities for free. All I have to do in that regard is keep an eye on things and check in guests. Between the two of us it should be a doddle if we go for it.

[Spikey M]

A Bed and Breakfast that doesn't do breakfasts? Does it have beds?

[phonics]

That's me convinced. Good luck on your Bed & Breakfast that 'looks to do' breakfast.

You're having a fast one pulled on you. When you get offered the life of a serf, in the modern world you're supposed to negotiate up from there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You're going to lose so much money.

[Pepe]

A B&B that does not offer one of the Bs? Madness.

Next you'll tell us that it doesn't have beds either.

EDIT: Spikey :moop:

[Spikey M]

Keep up Pepe you cunt.

[niko_cee]

Human trafficking hub.

[phonics]

You're going to lose so much money.

Technically no, he will just have a solid life of not gaining money.

[niko_cee]

There must be some kind of dole/housing benefit scam to be had there, get in league with Shinners.

[phonics]

This is one of the funniest life plans I've heard of in quite some time. I love this forum, no amount of twitch streamers, facebook, twitter will be as entertaining as someone honestly pushing 'I'm going to work a full time job for no pay' as a good idea.

[Smjffy]

You're going to lose so much money.

Far from it. My only outlay will be produce and alcohol for bar and to keep all the takings from both. Partner or I could work part time to tide things over but even now I could jump in for a month or so without taking a penny.

I believe it could actually work. Very small scale but it'll bring a return for sure.

[phonics]

WAIT YOU'RE BUYING THE PRODUCE AND ALCOHOL? THIS IS REACHING NEW LEVELS OF FUCKING IDIOCY.


This is one of the funniest life plans I've heard of in quite some time. I love this forum, no amount of twitch streamers, facebook, twitter will be as entertaining as someone honestly pushing 'I'm going to work a full time job for no pay' as a good idea.

Everyone in the real world is depressed because they don't get to see the likes of Smiffy embark on this adventure and watch it blow up. This is Mahow going to visit a Ukranian camgirl level stuff.

[Smjffy]

This is one of the funniest life plans I've heard of in quite some time. I love this forum, no amount of twitch streamers, facebook, twitter will be as entertaining as someone honestly pushing 'I'm going to work a full time job for no pay' as a good idea.

It depends on your interest. I personally am far more motivated turning a fallen place around, gaining experience in dealing with all manner of issues and providing a service to boot. We can't all make serious money in life but surprisingly there's more to an enjoyable working experience than the final pay, no?

I had an awesome time at the boot Inn irrespective of how it ended.

[Smjffy]

WAIT YOU'RE BUYING THE PRODUCE AND ALCOHOL? THIS IS REACHING NEW LEVELS OF FUCKING IDIOCY.



Everyone in the real world is depressed because they don't get to see the likes of Smiffy embark on this adventure and watch it blow up. This is Mahow going to visit a Ukranian camgirl level stuff.

You realise I made nearly £20K over the course of a month the last time I did this, right?

[Pepe]

Hard to tell how bad of a deal this is without knowing the place, but it seems like he is getting a bar + restaurant space rent-free. My main reservation would be that if it was possible to make money out of it, whoever owns the space would use it to make money, or rent it to someone. No one would give up the opportunity to make money just because, and just gift someone else the opportunity to do so.

[phonics]

You realise I made nearly £20K over the course of a month the last time I did this, right?

Do you think lying on the internet makes me respect your terrible life choices more?

I'm always making a quarter of a million pounds a year and quitting because I don't like the management. Isn't everyone else?

[Smjffy]

Hard to tell how bad of a deal this is without knowing the place, but it seems like he is getting a bar + restaurant space rent-free. My main reservation would be that if it was possible to make money out of it, whoever owns the space would use it to make money, or rent it to someone. No one would give up the opportunity to make money just because, and just gift someone else the opportunity to do so.

That's what I thought initially and during the conversation we had I made sure to ask about the history of such things. It has been done before and because the location is smack back in centre near the tower and beach etc it can be busy.

I haven't accepted anything as of yet as I need to do the sums but I'm giving it a serious thought. No boss, no restrictions and no crazed scientologist to fuck it up.

[Smjffy]

Do you think lying on the internet makes me respect your terrible life choices more?

I'm always making a quarter of a million pounds a year and quitting because I don't like the management. Isn't everyone else?

I made £20K in a month and the owner decided to use it for his rooms he was renting out....not me specifically. It was well documented on here at the time so I see no reason to try and prove myself.

As a side note though, do you think I give one fuck about gaining any respect from you of all people?

Continue with the topic folks, ignore this gormless fuck.

[phonics]

Hard to tell how bad of a deal this is without knowing the place, but it seems like he is getting a bar + restaurant space rent-free. My main reservation would be that if it was possible to make money out of it, whoever owns the space would use it to make money, or rent it to someone. No one would give up the opportunity to make money just because, and just gift someone else the opportunity to do so.

Getting to run a Bar and Restaurant not a Bed and Breakfast (that doesn't serve breakfast).

[Smjffy]

The name of the place doesn't actually contain the word B&B, it's actually a hotel. But for me, it's a B&B as the rest is separate.

What part of rent free space to do our own thing in return for living and overseeing B&B is not s good idea? Straight away I've saved money just by accepting it as the bills are there's. Electric gas etc.

[Pepe]

Wait, I missed the part where you have to run the whole place, not just the restaurant/bar. :D

Who will pay for the cooks, bartenders, waitstaff, etc?

You're getting mugged, mate.

[phonics]

Ah well if your electric bill is covered at least you'll be able to read this place while you're not being paid. Honestly, this is in my top 10 TTH moments.

[phonics]

Who will pay for the cooks, bartenders, waitstaff, etc?


The cooks, bartenders and waitstaff will also all live at the B&B, there's no actual guests. It's all just people who work downstairs for free.

[Smjffy]

Check people in, give rooms a once over etc, it's not too difficult as once checked in you can pretty much forget about them. Or coax out of room and into bar like I did in Derby. Staff would be me and my partner initially but could bring someone else in if I needed to, I suppose.

In my mind if I could get just 20 customers a day opening the restaurant side then we can make more than I currently do because we'd only need to replace the produce.

[Smjffy]

Ah well if your electric bill is covered at least you'll be able to read this place while you're not being paid. Honestly, this is in my top 10 TTH moments.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to keep a kitchen live wired and gassed up? It's not a case of switch on and off after use.

Not being paid isn't an issue, the issue will be if we can't shift our own stuff which is where our money would come from. I don't think you're understanding fully.

[phonics]

A once over :D

Love to stay in a B&B riddled with bed bugs.

[Smjffy]

Dude, it's fucking Blackpool. It is a fucking bug in itself.

[phonics]

You should put that in the tripadvisor bio.

[Shindig]

Avoid. As soon as it hits out of season, you'll be completely fucked.

[Spikey M]

You're definitely underestimating the amount of work involved Smiff.

[Baz]

Where about is it, Smiff? Is it on the promenade?

Strangely I think it would be better situated if it wasn’t along the front, would be better maybe near the market.

Been a while since I had a day sesh in Blackpool but would get one sorted to come visit if you do set it up.

[Smjffy]

You should put that in the tripadvisor bio.

I saw the TripAdvisor reviews prior to the phone call and to be honest, I think it's half expected that instead of breakfast you get a bug to snuggle with. Fair trade.


Avoid. As soon as it hits out of season, you'll be completely fucked.

Most definitely not a long term thing aye, I'm literally thinking from between now and when the season ends, maybe end of August.


You're definitely underestimating the amount of work involved Smiff.

I don't believe I am given I did exactly this sort of thing once before. I'll do exactly as I did then and call in some mates with their rates if need be. I leave current place to go to North Wales tomorrow and then from there to Blackpool to have a look in person so we'll see. I don't believe it's as daft as some in here believe but then I have the benefit of knowing my own capabilities and if nothing else, it'll be an interesting experience for a short time.

[Kikó]

Can't see how this will go wrong Smiff.