The All New Jobs Thread

[Pepe]

Spoonsky is a nonce lol.

[Giggles]

Hi Spoonsky you pleb.

[Spoonsky]

:face:

[igor_balis]

Give me a job spoony you little prick

[Shindig]

Been dealing with some Bristol people today. I bloody love that west country accent.

[Magic]

Going out with the MD for a meal and a few drinks. Hoping to get some really juicy shit.

[Boydy]

You'll probably end up fired.

[Boydy]

Yeah. I don't like it very much. Also, I took this job thinking I'd be doing some fucking coding and I've done fuck all so far. This Qlik Sense crap is new as some clients want some shit made with it and I'm the first one learning it so I'll end up getting pigeon holed in it.

Good job I'm leaving in a few weeks for the other job that I was offered at the same time. :baz:

Knocked up some shit on this yesterday and today and the managers (including the office managers' manager in the US) seemed really impressed. One of the senior guys on my team did all the hard work by doing the SQL queries to get the data from the database anyway. One of the managers here said "you're our Qlik SME now" and jotted down "lunch n' learn Qlik" (they buy lunch, someone does a presentation on some aspect of their job to teach others about it) on her notepad in a meeting and the US guy said it was 'amazing work' when I emailed him the sample.

That all probably sounds a bit big-headed/braggy but that's not what I'm trying to get at. Like I said, I'm planning to leave and had been planning to tell them this Friday but now I'm completely dreading it and feel really bad about it - a little bit of praise and I'll lick your balls. I'm a sucker for that shit.

[SvN]

How long have you been there again?

[Boydy]

A month and a half. Realised pretty soon into it though that there's never going to be that much coding and I feel like the job was pretty much mis-sold to me by the recruiter.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When an American says 'amazing work' he usually means 'I haven't read your email and I'm eating two bagels and a watered down coffee.'

Got to have more staying power than that, btw.

[SvN]

I'd leave it off your CV when you move on from your new job if I were you. It's better to be unemployed than only last 6 weeks.

[Boydy]

I'd leave it off your CV when you move on from your new job if I were you. It's better to be unemployed than only last 6 weeks.

Yeah, I will do.

[Magic]

On the board.

[Raoul Duke]

On the board.

Do you mean you're on the Board? Or is this cryptic code for he fingered you in the back of his car?

[Lewis]

The office useless cunt is being moved sideways into a job that doesn't need doing, and then his job - which is basically a shell of a job, because he delegates/fobs everything off onto two others - will be filled in time. I suggested just sacking him and giving us all a share of his wages, which seemed like a popular idea, but apparently 'it doesn't work like that'. Well, yeah. My point exactly.

[Shindig]

I dunno whether useless lifers are geniuses or just complete miracles of circumstance. I think it's more the latter, especially in the offices I've worked in.

[Mike]

Back to work today after 5 and a half weeks off.
Got two inset days which are always the most boring days. Much rather just start back with the kids in from day one and get on with it.

[Giggles]

I took today off. I could still make it in for starting time though.

[Ian]

I dunno whether useless lifers are geniuses or just complete miracles of circumstance. I think it's more the latter, especially in the offices I've worked in.

Certainly for big companies (or the ones I've worked for) it's just not very easy to get rid of somebody unless they do something actively awful.

A woman worked in our bit for two years and was never in danger of getting the boot despite being entirely incompetent until she accidentally swore on a call. And even then it wasn't found via a complaint, just dumb luck that they picked her call for a calibration.

So maybe you're right about the circumstance thing.

[phonics]

Certainly for big companies (or the ones I've worked for) it's just not very easy to get rid of somebody unless they do something actively awful.

A woman worked in our bit for two years and was never in danger of getting the boot despite being entirely incompetent until she accidentally swore on a call. And even then it wasn't found via a complaint, just dumb luck that they picked her call for a calibration.

So maybe you're right about the circumstance thing.

I think it's a bit of both, the amount of people who got away with being shit at DuPont was wild because their supervisor was in another country. I can't say much considering I was shagging the bird two offices down while on a conference call. #ladladladbanterbanterlad

[Ian]

Thinly veiled excuse to tell that story.

[phonics]

Duh. It was practically the last time a woman let me touch her.

[Baz]

Last day at this job today. :jayjay:

[Baz]

https://highwaymail.co.za/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2017/11/giphy.gif

[Boydy]

What are you going to be doing now?

[Giggles]

Selling Amazon referral codes.

[Baz]

What are you going to be doing now?Working in an office. :happycry:

[bruhnaldo]

i drive about 35 miles to work every day.

today, upon arriving, my boss (off-site) asked me to call her. she then asked if i could drive 60 miles back in the direction i just came (and then further obviously) to cover at another facility.

i get to this facility (i do like financial assistance for uninsured patients) and i have literally no access to anything.

so i've been sat here since 1:15 just trying to pass the time. I still have two hours to go.

[John]

Providing they'll cover the petrol for the extra drive that sounds like a decent wheeze.

[Spikey M]

It’s America, the petrol probably only cost about 13c for that journey.

[Magic]

So my company has enabled call recording for all calls.

Fair enough, but it also applies to my work mobile (which I also use for my personal calls). What can I do. :(

[Boydy]

Use your own phone for personal calls.

[Giggles]

Call people on WhatsApp or Google Duo.

[Spikey M]

There was a dial in today and the ‘modernisation’ has been cancelled so my job is safe. I don’t want it, but it’s safe. In other news I have an interview tomorrow. The job is local and would double my wage, but the interview is in North fucking London.

[Giggles]

I got a call yesterday about a job that would suit my field in a massive company that I've always wanted to get into. Any foot in the door and into the industry and you'd be well set. But it means going back to car ownership and I don't know if I could at this stage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got screamed and sworn at by a customer for no reason today. Finished the day by emailing management saying I will never deal with said customer again, so if they want his business they'll have to reassign him to someone else. Feels good man.

I have a slight worry that said customer is on the verge of suicide because his business is a complete failing piece of shit, we've revoked all his credit, and a few years ago a boat with one of his engines in it fucking sank, but that's not my responsibility.

[Magic]

Deleted all of my suspect calls. :)

[Shindig]

Ah, recorded calls. There's a tape of me somewhere agreeing to a customer's demands, knowing I was leaving a couple of days later. :cool:

[Spikey M]

There was a dial in today and the ‘modernisation’ has been cancelled so my job is safe. I don’t want it, but it’s safe. In other news I have an interview tomorrow. The job is local and would double my wage, but the interview is in North fucking London.

The nearest tube is ‘only’ 15 minutes walk away. Through 2 estates. Naaaaaaah Fam. Uber.com.

[Disco]

I got screamed and sworn at by a customer for no reason today. Finished the day by emailing management saying I will never deal with said customer again, so if they want his business they'll have to reassign him to someone else. Feels good man.

I have a slight worry that said customer is on the verge of suicide because his business is a complete failing piece of shit, we've revoked all his credit, and a few years ago a boat with one of his engines in it fucking sank, but that's not my responsibility.

You work with farmers, I'm surprised half of them haven't blown their heads off already.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I mainly sell to little one man band parts traders or dodgy import/export dealers, who when they reach the point of desperation about a deal being delayed (usually with an equally dodgy customer of their own) just can't hack it. This particular one there is a fairly bad back story, to cut a long story short we lost one of our shipments to him because it was shipped to his ex-wife's address and he isn't allowed on the property unless under supervision.

[mo]

First week back has knocked me on my arse. Fucking shattered.

[Baz]

Working in an office seems great. I sit next to an absolutely top bloke who reminds me so much of someone from TV but I can’t think who, and it really frustrates me. No amount of vague googling could ever solve it so hopefully it randomly comes to me before I go mad. He spent most of yesterday listening to cricket on headphones.

As for the job, it seems pretty straight forward. Another new guy started three days before me, doing the same job, so I’ve decided I’m gonna ruin his life by being ridiculously better than him at all aspects. I can tell he’s already gutted cos he’s sat on the women’s desks whereas me, Roger and Steve had lad lad lad banter. I even made a wanking joke yesterday when one of them was polishing his apple.

[Giggles]

Sounds like an episode of the office that didn't make it

[Baz]

I am definitely Gareth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is it Clive Anderson?

[SvN]

Had someone in on a trial week this week for a junior role. Despite starting horrendously and clearly being out of their depth, I've been genuinely impressed by how hard they've worked and improved as the week has gone on.

I've decided to take them on. Hopefully they can pick things up quickly because we're flooded with work at the moment.

[Byron]

Back to work tomorrow after two weeks off. I'm hoping all of China has imploded otherwise I'll be suicidal.

[phonics]

Just received this e-mail:


Please, be aware that this coming Saturday, September 15th, the cleaning company will clean the carpets of the entire office. It will be impossible to come in the office to work during the day in case you were planning to do so.

I wasn't aware we could even get in the building on a Saturday. Some people at this place work too hard.

[Pepe]

Speaking of Saturday, I have to attend an "admissions open house" this weekend. Only one hour and I will get free lunch, but still.

[Danny]

Leaving for India on Thursday. Going through Charlotte NC, straight into the path of Florence :moop:

My boss already left to take a weeks holiday in Europe. She was offered $800 by the airline to take a different flight. Hoping the same happens to me :yn:

[Baz]

Working in an office seems good. Today a woman came round with cupcakes and then in the kitchen there was a plate of “party food” with a sign saying help yourself so I had a few sausage rolls. Still not had my work email set up so there’s been very little work to do. I sat in a meeting today and was asked to take notes but I didn’t have a clue what most of them were on about so my notes were sketchy to say the least.

I’ve been “working on” a spreadsheet for over two days now (read: staring at excel, it took me twenty minutes) so that’s kept me looking rosy. I just spend my time chatting to TEH LADS. One of them has been sampling all the non-alcoholic beers somehow recommended to him by Adrian “Adrian” Chiles and the other told me about how he makes his own mead. :)

[Pepe]

:sick:

Rather pick stone.

[Raoul Duke]

Was out at a UX conference all day today :cool:

[Shindig]

Looking at Danny's post, I'm reminded the congressman or whatever of North Carolina's been emailing out evacuation notices ahead of the hurricane. If you're wondering how he got my address, some jobsite in NC must've nabbed it a while back.

Our work is snowed under at the minute. Our usual work is so boring that a full day on it really hits it home. The union lot are currently balloting for the pay review. Can't imagine that'll go well.

[Giggles]

Was out at a UX conference all day today :cool:


:sick:

Rather pick stone.

:nodd:

[SvN]

Was out at a UX conference all day today :cool:
Was that UX Cambridge?

[Mazuuurk]

Maybe he was just in Uxbridge and tries to make it sound fancy.

[Giggles]

I got a call yesterday about a job that would suit my field in a massive company that I've always wanted to get into. Any foot in the door and into the industry and you'd be well set. But it means going back to car ownership and I don't know if I could at this stage.

Interview next week for this. It's been a while.

[Raoul Duke]

Was that UX Cambridge?

Yeah

[phonics]

Who knew work would go faster when I'm not on a massive come down.

[Magic]

I've only made 1 sale in like 4 months.

Am I going to be sacked?

In fairness it was a £13,000 sale.

[SvN]

If sales was your only role, then you probably deserve it. Even if their margins are 50% (which they definitely won't be), you'll have made the company a profit of £6,500 in 4 months. That's approx £1.6k per month, which is presumably considerably less than what they pay you.

[phonics]

Magic forgot to factor 'being a shitty salesman' into his 'I'm going to be rich' plan.

[Magic]

Yeah I can only sell via channel, so I've spent most of my time trying to get good channel and repair the damage done by years of fuckwits.

My pipeline is looking good though. £134,500 over 3 years.

And I've got more leads but I don't want to put them in to the pipeline because it would give a false impression. I hate telecoms.

[phonics]

My pipeline is looking good though. £134,500 over 3 years.

That's 45 grand a year in revenue. That's not looking good.

[phonics]

Got a job ad in my inbox advertising for a 'Motion Designer for Serie A' and got really hyped up. It's a company called Serie A not the league :moop:

[Magic]

That's 45 grand a year in revenue. That's not looking good.

No but I plan to add to that, obviously. I've been groundworking the shit out of channel since the end of June so I'm hoping that starts to bear fruit soon. Otherwise I'm fucked.

[Spikey M]

‘I can do you a cracking deal on WiFi extenders’.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Got a job ad in my inbox advertising for a 'Motion Designer for Serie A' and got really hyped up. It's a company called Serie A not the league :moop:

You'd need to be some sort of alchemist to design any motion for that league.

[Foe]

Submitted an application for professional accreditation which involves writing a report answering questions about scenarios and providing information on how you've done that.

Developed it with my 'mentor' and then got a separate 'fellow' of the organisation to review it before submitting. There's five sections, each with 2-4 sub questions.

The feedback from the person who reviewed my report? 'Provide more examples' for every single sub section. I'd given a detailed response to each question with a single example. Apparently that's not at all what they're looking for, they basically want a ramble of multiple examples loosely connected to each query.

Great. I'll re-write the whole thing then. :moop:

[Lewis]

You don't need to re-write the full thing. Just provide more examples.

[Foe]

You don't need to re-write the full thing. Just provide more examples.

I was already pretty close up against the word count limit.

Tbf, it doesn't really help me with anything and I submitted it opportunely. I'll sort it at some point.

[phonics]

My job today involves listening to a panel of Emmanuel Macron and Bill and Melinda Gates. I want to jump out the window.

[Lewis]

Ask Bill Gates why, if he thinks wealthy people like him should pay more tax, he hasn't handed his foundations over to the government.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Got randomly pulled into the manager's office today to be told that I'm brilliant, 'eat work faster than anyone here', and that he can 'promise me' a great end of year pay review.

I've been around the block enough times to know that this only means one of two things, 1) someone's getting fired and not replaced, or 2) he's about to take some countries out of someone else's sales portfolio and give them to me.

[phonics]

Ask Bill Gates why, if he thinks wealthy people like him should pay more tax, he hasn't handed his foundations over to the government.

I'm not at the UN, I just have to listen to it.

[Lewis]

Not really a 'job' that mate, watching telly.

[Shindig]

Got randomly pulled into the manager's office today to be told that I'm brilliant, 'eat work faster than anyone here', and that he can 'promise me' a great end of year pay review.

I've been around the block enough times to know that this only means one of two things, 1) someone's getting fired and not replaced, or 2) he's about to take some countries out of someone else's sales portfolio and give them to me.

3) Keys to a tractor.

[Baz]

Revelation: TTH works in work.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I was moaning about my job being crap a while ago (it still is) but today I got a 22% pay increase so that's certainly a plus.

[phonics]

You work for Amazon or something? 22 sounds mental.

[mo]

Well that shits all over my 3.5%.

Yesterday the head announced he was leaving. Which is a shitter, as he was a decent head, god knows what we'll end up with. Maybe another embezzler.

[Giggles]

Do you work for one of the big US brands?


.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

American oil company.

It was a big rise for the vast majority of guys in the workshop. That many have been leaving in the past year (think we were in the teens at the last count) that the new manager has restructured the pay and grading- I say restructured, there was no structure, it was an absolute cluster fuck, almost nobody on the workshop floor had the same salary and recently qualified apprentices etc. had been criminally underpaid for a couple of years. We got a derisory pay rise in the Spring after a 4 year pay freeze, I wasn't the worst at 3% but plenty only got 1%.

All the while you hear of next to useless office staff that know bugger all about the equipment getting 10%+ pay rises along with productivity bonuses. Not sure how many other companies have a bonus like that in place for the non-productive staff only yet the guys that actually turnover the equipment just get offered overtime as if it's some sort of holy grail.

It's been a long time coming, fair play to the new manager though because it's him that's been the driving force behind it putting the case forward to upper management. One of the guys I work with is now on £10k more than he was before that crap pay rise earlier in the year.

[phonics]

I got a 9% bonus this year and don't know what to do with it. I can't imagine jumping 22 in a year.

[Ian]

We don't even get annual pay reviews because we're already above what people at our grade in other departments are. :moop:

[Lewis]

I'll never get a payrise, but I found out today in my mini-annual review that I'm about seventy per cent through my annual targets after three months, so maybe I'll just stop turning up after Christmas.

[Foe]

American oil company.

It was a big rise for the vast majority of guys in the workshop. That many have been leaving in the past year (think we were in the teens at the last count) that the new manager has restructured the pay and grading- I say restructured, there was no structure, it was an absolute cluster fuck, almost nobody on the workshop floor had the same salary and recently qualified apprentices etc. had been criminally underpaid for a couple of years. We got a derisory pay rise in the Spring after a 4 year pay freeze, I wasn't the worst at 3% but plenty only got 1%.

All the while you hear of next to useless office staff that know bugger all about the equipment getting 10%+ pay rises along with productivity bonuses. Not sure how many other companies have a bonus like that in place for the non-productive staff only yet the guys that actually turnover the equipment just get offered overtime as if it's some sort of holy grail.

It's been a long time coming, fair play to the new manager though because it's him that's been the driving force behind it putting the case forward to upper management. One of the guys I work with is now on £10k more than he was before that crap pay rise earlier in the year.

Quality. Do you have a decent bonus / share scheme?

It's kind of the opposite for us. The guys offshore get paid loads because of the rotation, then get paid loads if they ever come into the office to work. We office technical support staff get effectively underpaid overtime to go offshore on a helicopter, be away from home and in a more hazardous environment.

[Baz]

I've just been asked to do some infographics.

Feel like phonics. :cool:

[Panda Bear]

I got a 9% bonus this year and don't know what to do with it. I can't imagine jumping 22 in a year.You start being an adult and invest it in some ETFs.

[phonics]

You start being an adult and invest it in some ETFs.

Lol yeah right. 20% of my salary already goes into my pension and we’ll all be dead before I get to use that anyway.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Quality. Do you have a decent bonus / share scheme?

It's kind of the opposite for us. The guys offshore get paid loads because of the rotation, then get paid loads if they ever come into the office to work. We office technical support staff get effectively underpaid overtime to go offshore on a helicopter, be away from home and in a more hazardous environment.

No.

There was an employee retention bonus in place previously which was good, every 6 months it was 10% of your gross earnings thank you very much. I didn't get many after finishing my apprenticeship when they stopped it due to how the industry went.

Always managed to coincide with a massive car bill too. :moop:

[SvN]

We're on for just over £100k profit this year, which is our best year ever outside of 2015 which was a bit of a freak. What's great is that this is despite 2 big projects horrendously overrunning - if we can eliminate those from happening next year, we should beat it significantly.

I'm moving back to the Midlands in about 12 months so I can be in the office every day. I don't think I'll miss Southampton.

[John]

Will that become your salary then? Or are you planning to expand/spread the wealth in bonuses?

[SvN]

I take a salary anyway, so any dividend will be on top of that. I own 42% of the company so I'll be entitled to 42% of whatever dividend I decide to issue. Staff will definitely get bonuses.

[Foe]

No.

There was an employee retention bonus in place previously which was good, every 6 months it was 10% of your gross earnings thank you very much. I didn't get many after finishing my apprenticeship when they stopped it due to how the industry went.

Always managed to coincide with a massive car bill too. :moop:

Shame. We've got a pretty solid share scheme. I signed up to a 3 year scheme where you get an option price, chuck £250 a month at it and at the end have the option to take back your money, or buy the shares at the option price. There's 11 months left, and currently the share price is double the option price. :drool:

Bonus scheme isn't bad either.

[Foe]

Ps congrats SvN.

Have you seen much expansion, or has it been pretty steady?

[igor_balis]

Having a proper hating life day at work. Bad enough that they're all stupid, but why must they all stink of shit. Best are the ones who complain about direct debits bouncing. 'WHY HAS THIS NOT GONE THROUGH, I'M MOVING BANKS', it's because you've spent all your money you daft twat.

[igor_balis]

Vote Tory

[SvN]

Ps congrats SvN.

Have you seen much expansion, or has it been pretty steady?

It's been steady, really. Most of the profit has come from new recurring income (mostly support contracts) and also a lot of cost saving measures. The former MD, who is brilliant in a lot of ways, is terrible with administrative tasks. We were spending literally thousands per month that we didn't need.

A perfect example was a dedicated server we'd had since 2009 that we were paying around £1.2k per month for. We had it to host around 90-100 websites that were mostly basic, static websites. We moved them all to a couple of cloud servers and now pay around £60 per month to host them all. That alone saved us around £14k per year.

[Ian]

Got invited to a job interview for a civil service job but the only interview slots are on a day when I'm down in Manchester for work. :moop:

I imagine the Civil Service are a bit dickish about these things but I've emailed asking if I can't move it if I can do it by teleconference or something.

[Spikey M]

Don’t do it.

[Ian]

What, work for the civil service?

[Lewis]

It's hard to beat that warm, fuzzy feeling of serving your country. :chief:

[Lewis]

I doubt I've used that smiley in a decade. See? It's a great life.

[Spikey M]

What, work for the civil service?

Yes. No way. No how.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've worked in the public sector, it's a genuinely awful place. There's no possible preparation for how awful it is. Everyone is fucking useless and it's almost a crime to earn money.

[Ian]

I mean there isn't much about it that I feel like I could hate more than I now do my current job (which it sounds much the same as) but I'd be getting an extra 20%-ish salary. Maybe they will refuse to move it and the decision will be out of my hands.

[Baz]

If you don’t like your job and have the chance to get a new one, DO IT.

[Giggles]

Just go with the highest pay. No job is for liking.

[Shindig]

I've worked in the public sector, it's a genuinely awful place. There's no possible preparation for how awful it is. Everyone is fucking useless and it's almost a crime to earn money.

:nodd:

At least with me being private sector doing a civil service job (because the government does fuck all in-house, these days) mychances of being made redundant go up a bit.

[Magic]

I helped one of my guys do a survey at a BODY that was a mix of public and private staff. The former were just absolute cunts.

[Kikó]

I entered an internal competition at work which is a sort of think like a fintech (or give us some good ideas so we can develop them). It'll mean just trying to be creative for a few weeks rather than the day job and they place you in Germany for them.

[Magic]

We're about to launch a new major product, and it involves training in Holland. My counter-part that I moved to sales with and my old boss have been invited, and I haven't. Absolutely fucking seething.

[Lewis]

From what I can gather, almost four months in, the main issue (rather than problem) with the state sector is that everything has to be idiot-proofed because, whilst there are obviously idiots working in it, its functions are generally also more idiot-facing than most non-retail businesses. My part of it is pretty specialist, and we can mostly just get on, so stupid rules and regulations either just get ignored or followed but complained about/lolled at (most of the stupid stuff we deal with is the bits that interact with the private sector). If you're working in a local council you can't really do that, but your processes have to accommodate the absolute retards who don't know their National Insurance numbers but want a free mobility scooter anyway the fat sponge cunt.

There is also the fact that mooks end up running everything because the good people leave, but other than throwing money around I'm not sure how you resolve that one across the board.

[Shindig]

I'd put some of the incompetence down to having to accommodate dead weight that they can't give VR to. They have to put them somewhere and they're nowhere near retirement. I'll agree on some customers being idiots, though. There's always one I ring that'll have no idea they applied for something. Whilst I stare at the paperwork they signed.

[phonics]

Lewis is going to leave this job realising that everyone in government is trying to do the best they can and end up voting Labour.

[Lewis]

You start to be sympathetic, but then you learn that the office useless twat, who is being 'moved sideways' when they should just sack the lazy cunt, will remain in the higher salary band from his old job that he is being forcibly shuffled out of for never actually doing it. You wot mate.

[Shindig]

Ah, but one day YOU could be that useless cunt. That's the long game. I might aspire / settle for it in twenty years time.

[phonics]

You start to be sympathetic, but then you learn that the office useless twat, who is being 'moved sideways' when they should just sack the lazy cunt, will remain in the higher salary band from his old job that he is being forcibly shuffled out of for never actually doing it.

Yeah but that's literally every job you'll ever do not a public sector issue. You're either in a company that's too small to have any lifers or big enough that you can hide in the background. Look at SvN, he had that pleb nailed as an absolute plonk less than a week in and it still took him months to shift him. Imagine that but with 20 years of knowing where the skeletons are hidden.

[Boydy]

Did SvN sack that idiot/tell us the whole story yet?

[phonics]

Yeah a month back or so. It was the top post on a new page so you can find it easily. IIRC the guy that got sacked wasn't too bothered.

[Lewis]

We have about fifteen people, and it's a standing office joke that he does nothing. I can't imagine a small business hauling that sort of dead weight.

[Boydy]

Yeah a month back or so. It was the top post on a new page so you can find it easily. IIRC the guy that got sacked wasn't too bothered.

Yeah I had a search and found it. Then I remembered actually reading it at the time.

In other news, I like my job.

[phonics]

Yeah I had a search and found it. Then I remembered actually reading it at the time.

In other news, I like my job.

I'm happy for you Boyd. Chance of upward movement?

[Shindig]

Some businesses run quicker than others. Either someone's doubling up or they give the useless one something they can actually do.

[Boydy]

I'm happy for you Boyd. Chance of upward movement?

Should be, yeah. Not too worried about that yet though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a man in our warehouse who is very autistic, kind of like an idiot savant (think Patchface from the GRRM books). He is known for randomly spitting out deadly accurate impressions of singers, sitcom characters etc with no rhyme or reason, or just reciting tongue twisters in the middle of the office.

Recently, I've noticed that whenever I walk past him he shouts out MI-ISS DAISY! in a southern US accent. I've been desperately trying to work out the reference to no avail. Do I (fatty baldy beardy, no resemblance to Morgan Freeman) look like someone from the film who says that? It's starting to annoy me if I'm honest.

[SvN]

You're getting donned by a spastic.

[Spikey M]

:lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're getting donned by a spastic.

Exactly, and I'm not happy about it.

[igor_balis]

The chat about dead weights and inefficiency at work reminds me of when I was the dead weight. I got a temp job in an office that was £10/hour. On my floor it was 4-5 sales people, 3 project managers (on mega bucks) and a couple of managers (6 figures), and two dopey but lovely middle-aged women who just did data entry/admin shit.

I was brought in just as general admin assistance, no direct chain of command (I was below everyone but didn't have a specific line manager), and the idea was that I was the pleb that everyone in the office could give work to. In theory I should have had a constant stream of tedious data entry shit, but in reality the office CLEARLY didn't need me there. I'm still not entirely sure why I was hired.

I was there during the 2015 cricket world cup, and I remember spending two whole days on here and listening to cricket games. The third day this bloke gave me this random excel thing to do at about 9am. Got to about 4pm and I thought ahh shit should probably do that. Smashed it out in 15 minutes, gave it to the bloke and he said "wow Igor, I thought that would take a good week or so" "..."

It wasn't because they thought I was an idiot (honest), but rather that everyone who worked there was old enough that doing anything on a computer was just inherently slow and difficult. Office full of people typing with one finger etc.

Part of me thinks that if I hadn't quit for my ill-advised spell in Edinburgh, they still wouldn't have gotten rid of me 3 years later, lol.

[Spikey M]

Just got a new job working as a Credit Controller for a Leasehold company. Bit of a pay rise and I’m out of the the fucking public sector. Most of my notice period will be whilst I’m on Paternity leave/holiday too.

I have another interview on Monday which is for a better paying job, so I’ll go along to that anyway, but I’m pretty chuffed either way.

[Baz]

phonics SvN

What's a good source for free decent clipart/vector stuff?
Need some basic cartoony/silhouette pics to throw on a poster that has boring numbers on.

EDIT: ignore

https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/

[Boydy]

I can't work out if that's going to offend Phonics or not.

[phonics]

@phonics (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=1) @SvN (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=8)

What's a good source for free decent clipart/vector stuff?
Need some basic cartoony/silhouette pics to throw on a poster that has boring numbers on.

EDIT: ignore

https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/

Freepik and FlatIcon are good too.


I can't work out if that's going to offend Phonics or not.


Only idiots waste their time creating something other people have already perfected for free. I use loads of pre-made assets.

[Lewis]

There's a man in our warehouse who is very autistic, kind of like an idiot savant (think Patchface from the GRRM books). He is known for randomly spitting out deadly accurate impressions of singers, sitcom characters etc with no rhyme or reason, or just reciting tongue twisters in the middle of the office.

Recently, I've noticed that whenever I walk past him he shouts out MI-ISS DAISY! in a southern US accent. I've been desperately trying to work out the reference to no avail. Do I (fatty baldy beardy, no resemblance to Morgan Freeman) look like someone from the film who says that? It's starting to annoy me if I'm honest.

He thinks you're bent.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Told you he was an idiot savant.

[Foe]

Just got a new job working as a Credit Controller for a Leasehold company. Bit of a pay rise and I’m out of the the fucking public sector. Most of my notice period will be whilst I’m on Paternity leave/holiday too.

I have another interview on Monday which is for a better paying job, so I’ll go along to that anyway, but I’m pretty chuffed either way.

Congrats.

Some nice old leverage to play if it goes well too.

[SvN]

phonics SvN

What's a good source for free decent clipart/vector stuff?
Need some basic cartoony/silhouette pics to throw on a poster that has boring numbers on.

EDIT: ignore

https://www.vecteezy.com/free-vector/
If you ever need free photos, Unsplash.com (http://unsplash.com) and stocksnap.io (https://stocksnap.io/) are pretty good.

[phonics]

Me being a lazy designer is starting to really get in my own way. I've now been in one position long enough that I'm having to remake/edit previous things I've done and the sheer amount of shortcuts I've taken to get that one piece out originally make it such a pain in the arse. I feel sorry for the poor sap that'll have to follow me.

[SvN]

I've made that mistake in the past - horribly unorganised layered files, outlined text, rasterized assets, embedded images, you name it. I spend the extra time to make sure things are done properly thesedays.

[Dark Soldier]

Ten days off work with a sicknote. Bored already.

Its odd, I went 12 years not working and loved it, get a fucking job and no idea what to do with time off.

[Shindig]

:nodd:

Same. If I manage to get my first leave signing sorted, I'll have two weeks of getting myself away. Right around Brexit, too.

[Spikey M]

I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

[Baz]

I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.Hand your notice in.

[SvN]

Congrats Spikey. A huge payrise like that really does make a difference to your day to day, assuming £10k represents around 20%+ of your salary.

[Magic]

I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

Cry when you realise it's only about £3,000 cash.

[Spikey M]

Congrats Spikey. A huge payrise like that really does make a difference to your day to day, assuming £10k represents around 20%+ of your salary.

From just shy of £20k to just shy of £30k. Pretty much the same job, just not in the public sector. About a third more when I think of it like that. Buzzing.

[phonics]

I'm printing a booklet and one of the writers biography pictures was really grainy so I asked if they could send me a better photo. They gave me a Powerpoint document that pointed to a word document that had a jpeg inside. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU IMPORT A PICTURE INTO TWO SEPERATE PROGRAMS AND NOT JUST SEND THE FUCKING PICTURE. It's now been compressed twice and practically useless.

[Pepe]

Donned you.

[Baz]

I'm printing a booklet and one of the writers biography pictures was really grainy so I asked if they could send me a better photo. They gave me a Powerpoint document that pointed to a word document that had a jpeg inside. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU IMPORT A PICTURE INTO TWO SEPERATE PROGRAMS AND NOT JUST SEND THE FUCKING PICTURE. It's now been compressed twice and practically useless.Theres a monthly newsletter that goes round my work compiled by one of the local losers, about the “heritage” of the town. Half of one page was a screenshot of an email he’d received (full screen, windows tray included) of a photograph. Why he didn’t just save the photo (or even copy and paste it) rather than print screen the whole page, I’ve no idea.

How to people like that think the documents they produce are worth bothering with? Clearly takes him all month to prepare the next issue as well. Saddo.

[Foe]

I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

Fucking top news boyo. Enjoy that paternity party now.

:drool:

Our gaff this week implemented a new organisational model this week and it seems like bullshit. But hey, we are pumping out 40,000 barrels a day again so whatever.

[Spikey M]

Fucking top news boyo. Enjoy that paternity party now.

:drool:

Our gaff this week implemented a new organisational model this week and it seems like bullshit. But hey, we are pumping out 40,000 barrels a day again so whatever.

Cheers.

1 and a half days left. :drool:

Although chances are I’ll have to go back for a little while first now.

[Boydy]

Well done, Spikey.

[Ian]

I got the other job as well and I have accepted. Just shy of £10k more per year. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

:cool:

I should have two interviews coming up. One for that civil service one I mentioned before to a mixed response and the other for a normal company that pays some tiny amount more than the civil service one. I'd prefer the latter but I'll take either at this stage.

[Shindig]

Man, that's a jump. Good work.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a new bloke under me this week and he is a fucking wanker. Too early to judge his work but he's one of those people who just goes in way too deep on the banter before he knows you.

*sees my phone has a cracked case*

'Haha mate, something on there make you angry?'

'No.'

If my superpower wasn't shutting these cunts down until they hate themselves from the inside, I'd be in bits.

[Lewis]

You and him will have a regular curry night within three months.

[Baz]

My mate from work (6’7” guy I sit next to) is moving to a completely different building on the other side of town on November 18th. :cry:

[Giggles]

He's probably been requesting it for about two months.

[Spikey M]

There's a new bloke under me this week and he is a fucking wanker. Too early to judge his work but he's one of those people who just goes in way too deep on the banter before he knows you.

*sees my phone has a cracked case*

'Haha mate, something on there make you angry?'

'No.'

If my superpower wasn't shutting these cunts down until they hate themselves from the inside, I'd be in bits.

“Way too deep on the banter” :D

That?

[Baz]

He's probably been requesting it for about two months.Ive only worked there for six weeks.

[Boydy]

He's probably been requesting it for about two months.

:D

[Mellberg]

Two weeks off :thbgrin:

May lose my job to those pesky forriners :facepalm:

[Lewis]

Whenever I see British Leyland news I think back to you (probably a couple of years ago now) saying that were it not for the fact that Triumph TR6s sell themselves that company would be in serious bother. It all seems very badly run in terms of what we can all see (I mean in terms of all their engines being comparatively shit and the platforms being ill-suited to sharing), so is it shambolic behind closed doors as well?

[Mellberg]

I'm better positioned to comment these days. Manage a line and three satellite areas and see a lot of what goes on. The culture of the place is essentially rotten. Too many people on the track don't care and earn a lot of money for relatively little output. That's a failing of both themselves and management who have allowed them to get away with it and the rot to set in. Although with the labour issues following the mass release and only partial replacement of agency staff, I wouldn't want to sack someone if they pissed on my nan right now. Brexit, diesel tax and the near collapse of sales riceland has been a triple fuck which the business is struggling to cope with and whilst about five years ago with the release of the new snip the designs were seen as innovative, they've now over saturated the market with models which are too similar. The snip and snip are basically the same car and the new snip goes down a similar route.

Not that I know of this *snip* you speak of etc etc.

[Lewis]

What was it, something like ninety per cent of their sales were diesels? Brexit (or the bollocks around it) can't have helped, but it does just seem like it's exposed problems more than it has necessarily created them, since the rest of our car manufacturers seem to be unusually healthy. The culture thing sounds interesting. Can you explain that a bit more (PM if you have to)?

[Shindig]

I know Nissan's been shedding weight for the past year up here. If that goes, all the knackers on the line will have to settle for ASDA.

[Mellberg]

Take the name of the business out your post and I'll stick it in here.

[Giggles]

You'd probably need to remove the makes and models too.

[Mellberg]

Good spot.

[Lewis]

There we are. Timeless.

[Boydy]

What was it, something like ninety per cent of their sales were diesels? Brexit (or the bollocks around it) can't have helped, but it does just seem like it's exposed problems more than it has necessarily created them, since the rest of our car manufacturers seem to be unusually healthy. The culture thing sounds interesting. Can you explain that a bit more (PM if you have to)?

Lol yeah, it couldn't possibly be Brexit itself.

[Mellberg]

The place is poisonous at the minute. The remaining agency staff know their number is up and don't give a flying one. This leads to a loss in vehicles sold and also a drop in quality. It's a combination of complacency and intentional damage and this has seen an increase in warranty claims, a delay in the time the average car spends on site, customer cancellations (there was one last week where it had been sat around because it had run out of fuel. £35,000 for the sake of a jerry can and 25% of a tank) and just a general deterioration of everything. There's an acceptance by senior management that the release of so many agency was essentially a colossal fuck up. Some of the staff who were released have been brought back on short term deals on a reduced salary and I'm sure you can guess the level of their performance. I'm supposed to have 70 people working for me, but currently run at roughly 65, which factored in with the never ending absenteeism issues means the line struggles to run and people off a process to help facilitate the running of the line are few and far between. There have been times where I'm the only person not 'on a job' (one person spread across 55 processes is absurd). Fortunately my background is rework and I'm young enough to get about, but I hate to think the kind of shit the lines run by a 60-year-old with a background in Weetabix are shipping.

All internal audits are being failed in a manner never seen before because there's no one available to do the work and when an external auditer comes in it's all hands on deck just to scrape through. Had to show a Japanese firm around this week and let's just say I'm glad they were distracted by the machinery as opposed to deep diving the paperwork. Morale amongst management is rock bottom and there are several managers off other lines on the sick with stress who have been replaced with people who lack the experience/pedigree. Basically the lunatics are running the asylum and you can't sack/release them because you won't run, but disciplinaries are also useless as they know they'll be gone soon anyway.

[Lewis]

Lol yeah, it couldn't possibly be Brexit itself.

The others are doing alright. Nissan have been similarly hit by diesel going out of fashion (which is itself a stupid political issue), but when the likes of Lotus and Aston Martin are making money for the first time ever it can't be a nationwide event.


The place is poisonous at the minute. The remaining agency staff know their number is up and don't give a flying one. This leads to a loss in vehicles sold and also a drop in quality. It's a combination of complacency and intentional damage and this has seen an increase in warranty claims, a delay in the time the average car spends on site, customer cancellations (there was one last week where it had been sat around because it had run out of fuel. £35,000 for the sake of a jerry can and 25% of a tank) and just a general deterioration of everything. There's an acceptance by senior management that the release of so many agency was essentially a colossal fuck up. Some of the staff who were released have been brought back on short term deals on a reduced salary and I'm sure you can guess the level of their performance. I'm supposed to have 70 people working for me, but currently run at roughly 65, which factored in with the never ending absenteeism issues means the line struggles to run and people off a process to help facilitate the running of the line are few and far between. There have been times where I'm the only person not 'on a job' (one person spread across 55 processes is absurd). Fortunately my background is rework and I'm young enough to get about, but I hate to think the kind of shit the lines run by a 60-year-old with a background in Weetabix are shipping.

All internal audits are being failed in a manner never seen before because there's no one available to do the work and when an external auditer comes in it's all hands on deck just to scrape through. Had to show a Japanese firm around this week and let's just say I'm glad they were distracted by the machinery as opposed to deep diving the paperwork. Morale amongst management is rock bottom and there are several managers off other lines on the sick with stress who have been replaced with people who lack the experience/pedigree. Basically the lunatics are running the asylum and you can't sack/release them because you won't run, but disciplinaries are also useless as they know they'll be gone soon anyway.

Interesting. Are they putting as much hope in the new, erm, Metro as the press releases suggest? From the tone of those you would think they see it as the solution to all of their problems, but I think it will struggle against the plush pick-ups you can get now (and the rest of their products).

[Mellberg]

They need the new Metro to sell well. I suspect it won't. There's a loyal customer base who of course will buy it just for the brand, but it's only a Metro in name. It's too similar to other models.

[phonics]

They’ve sent me to Madrid. I have about 45 minutes of work a day for the next week which would be great if I wasn’t in some hotel off a motorway.

This hotel has a gym so maybe i’ll Do some 8 hour days in there for the lols.

[Magic]

How many threads is phoney going to mention Madrid in?

[Baz]

Awesome bloke from work showed me his music (https://whisperingneds.bandcamp.com/) today.

Seems like something igor_balis would listen to.

[igor_balis]

Awesome bloke from work showed me his music (https://whisperingneds.bandcamp.com/) today.

Seems like something igor_balis would listen to.

Read this and was mentally preparing an angry response, but nah you're absolutely right :D

Cheers for the recommendation I spose.

[Lewis]

They held the interviews to replace the office useless cunt yesterday, and the candidates were the lad who currently has ninety per cent of the job delegated to him, another woman from the office, and the token external candidate who may as well have not turned up. The poor bastard was told that he scored perfectly on 'the actual job' (because he already does it), but they had to give it to the other woman because she has management experience. He's had a right face on all day knowing that her first management call will be asking him to teach her how to do her new job.

'Kick off mate. Delete all your spreadsheets.'

[Offshore Toon]

What kind of office are you working in, Lewis? Never really saw you moving into an office role.

[Kikó]

A public sector office.

I got into the entrepreneur initiative so I'll be heading over to Germany in November and December for a week. 😎

[Lewis]

It's a reinforced concrete warehouse in the middle of the naval base. I read nuclear-related Ministry of Defence files and decide whether to keep them locked in our vault, release them to the National Archives, or incinerate them. It's a pretty great job, but the pay is lol, so I'm treating it as a two year CV-building exercise.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The new bloke under me is starting to really fuck me off. He's one of those tossers who is both stupid and patronising. I currently have to shut down his ill-judged banter at least twice a day. He even tries to banter with the lovely-but-serious Indian guy in his 40s, which makes me cringe every time. Today he came up to my desk to ask for help, and I was texting someone. When I saw him, I stopped writing the message and put the phone down to ask what he wanted.

'Don't worry,' he whispers, 'you're OK with me.' I asked what he was on about, he said 'On your phone.' I gave him one of those thousand yard stares aimed at suggesting that this is an office full of adults who are actually allowed to use mobile phones during the course of a 9 hour working day, and asked what he wanted. That shut him up for a few hours, but in the afternoon he was back being a cunt. I showed him how to do something on the system that is quite tricky but we all have to do it in order to sell certain high-value gasket kits. He kept whingeing about how impossible it was to remember and he'd never learn it, then said he was going to make a cup of coffee halfway through the explanation (he does this about 12 times a day), so I gave up and left him to fail. Hopefully they'll spot him and get rid of him under the company's laughably arcane hiring and firing rules. Society seems to breed these unprofessional cunts nowadays.

[Ian]

One of the jobs I interviewed for this week only has a team of four currently. I'm already beset by idiots of the sort Jim describes at my current job but the thought of one moron making up 20% of the team fills me with dread.

[Baz]

What’s everyone’s work christmas do this year?

It’s looking unlikely I’ll get one, so I’m just gonna suggest to two blokes that we go for a few pints one Friday. Hopefully Mike will turn up and be my hype man.

[Mike]

You mean make up an embarrassing nickname for you? Count me in!

[Baz]

Why can't I bring myself to use Arial?

100% Verdana kinda guy. Size 9.

'We tend to use Arial 11 for all our documents.'

Soz mate, we don't anymore.

[Raoul Duke]

We're going to some club in Mayfair for our Xmas do. Booked the day off afterwards :drool:

[Danny]

We typically have two. One for all the people in the office, they rent a box at the Jags stadium for this and then we do one just for our group. Normally done at the bosses condo on the beach where she can rent out an ‘event’ area.

[Lewis]

We got to decide between six places using an alternative vote (AV), and most people ended up disappointed, so lol at Dan Snow. I'm taking leave and going home before then though so whatevs.

[Giggles]

Ours is booked for December the 8th and it's not in that hovel of a city this year so that's all good. I could nearly walk home but I'm staying over because free breakfast.

[Spikey M]

I’m going out for a meal with a few of the others as the main Christmas do is at the local theatre to see the fucking Jersey Boys. I lol’d when this was announced and immediately suggested the non-menopausal members of the office go for a meal.

There’s now 6 people at the official do, 5 at the unofficial one and about 15 not bothering. Morale. :drool:

I won’t be working there by then anyway, mind.

[Nick]

Ours will be in Shoreditch and usually an all-day thing. And by "thing", I mean SESH!

It's on the 22nd though, which means I might have just recovered by the time Santa comes down the chimney.

[Boydy]

Mine's on a boat. It's a restaurant on a moored boat rather than an actual moving boat though.

People bring their partners at this place. :sick:

[Giggles]

Mine's on a boat. It's a restaurant on a moored boat rather than an actual moving boat though.

People bring their partners at this place. :sick:

Where's that?

[Shindig]

Our team one's not even been mentioned. My old team's sorting out a murder mystery meal thing which will probably be alright.

[Boydy]

Where's that?

https://www.holohansatthebarge.co.uk/

[Giggles]

https://www.holohansatthebarge.co.uk/

Must have been after my time.

[Kikó]

We've booked a team one near tower bridge but I'll be away for it. Our department one has also not fell into the inbox which means I can avoid all that crap.

[Lewis]

Mine's on a boat. It's a restaurant on a moored boat rather than an actual moving boat though.

People bring their partners at this place. :sick:

Take your housemate.

[Giggles]

Take your housemate.

She'll invite herself anyway as soon as she twigs he's leaving the gaff.

[Boydy]

Quite a few people started this year so plenty of us haven't been to the Christmas dinner/party before. We were told we could bring a partner or a friend or whatever. It's basically just an open plus one. But why the fuck would you want to take someone who doesn't know anyone and then have to spend the night making sure you're integrating them into things well enough? Fuck that. I don't really want to have to make awkward small talk with other people's guests either. I just want to eat some turkey and get drunk.

[mo]

Not sure we'll have a whole staff one this year as one of the organisers last year has left and the other got a promotion, so little time to organise I'd imagine. Think we'll have a department one though on the last day of term, late lunch type of thing.

[Shindig]

Quite a few people started this year so plenty of us haven't been to the Christmas dinner/party before. We were told we could bring a partner or a friend or whatever. It's basically just an open plus one. But why the fuck would you want to take someone who doesn't know anyone and then have to spend the night making sure you're integrating them into things well enough? Fuck that. I don't really want to have to make awkward small talk with other people's guests either. I just want to eat some turkey and get drunk.

Maybe they don't get on with the work guys so they're crowbarring their significant other in for the conversation. Or they need a designated driver.

[Magic]

So my route to market (my channel partners) are mostly really slow with business. I need some quick wins so I've started going direct. This annoyingly means I have to do a lot of networking now, and I fucking hate it.

It is nauseating, and half the time cunts are trying to load stuff on to you, drowning out any message you had in the first place. Really hard to stomach cunts.

Sidenote: I've hardly sold anything and will probably be unemployed by Christmas.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

When's double the wage coming, mate?

[Magic]

How much is the dole?

[Boydy]

Are you looking for other things now?

[Ian]

Had you done any sales before now, Magic?

I had one job involving sales and was atrocious at it. I think it's something that is at least to an extent is just down to how you're wired.

[Baz]

Sales is easy. Just gotta find the right mix of chipper bellend and likeable nice fella.

That said, I don’t miss it.

[Ian]

Yes but that isn't just a thing to turn on and off for everybody. Anything is easy if you have a natural affinity for it.

I actually did really well in my first fortnight when I didn't actually have a clue what I was doing and was just chatting to people but by the time they'd tried to sales-ify me and I was actually thinking about it it all went to shit.

[Magic]

It's more consulting, or that's how I billed it. Yet I'm being given targets as if I was a chicken in a call centre. The turn around times on these deals can be months.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't have any of the Baz stuff, so I do it with extreme efficiency and zero bullshit. Most people seem to buy that, in my industry at least. If you're trying to flog people things that they don't want or need, then I don't know.

[Spikey M]

The closest I’ve come to a ‘sales job’ was trying to flog Gold Cards to old women in BHS. That was back in ~2004.

Sales can fuck right off.

[Giggles]

I'm supposed to do a certain amount but I'm just not able to be a shiny toe so I leave it to the others and try keep relevant in other areas. My bonus does only be about a quarter of theirs but I'm happy with that price.

[Baz]

Just had an email forwarded to me from 28th October with someone saying she didn't receive two documents so had to make do with the old ones.

Yet I've got an email directly from her on the 23rd October saying thanks for the documents, after I sent them to her.

If the system didn't use rubbish Lotus Notes (or is it IBM Notes?) and it was easier to forward e-mails from different threads, I'd make a show of her. As it is, she's made me look a mug. :moop:

[Giggles]

Screenshot the shit out of it and don't be a sap. Destroy her.

[Spikey M]

Just reply saying “I received a reply from you on the 23rd confirming receipt of them. Please check again.”

[Giggles]

Just reply All saying “I received a reply from you on the 23rd confirming receipt of them. Please check again.”

Fixed.

[Baz]

Screenshot the shit out of it and don't be a sap. Destroy her.:D

I figured I could copy and paste from different e-mail threads and it kept the formatting.


Hi Julie

Please see the e-mail below dated 23rd October were you confirmed the receipt of the 2018/19 claim form and invoice template.

I will process your invoices for Q1 and Q2 today.

Regards

In yo face.

[phonics]

Lotus Notes, fuck me. Do they make you use Netscape Navigator as well?

[phonics]

I got sent a brochure at work unsolicited but with all my details attached, which I thought was weird. They sent me a followup e-mail so I asked how they had all this non-public information on me. Today they sent a grovelling apology telling me


For our events we regularly look for partners and interested parties to ask for feedback or support in our surveys. After such a telephone search for contacts in your region, a colleague placed you on one of our mailing list which was wrong and should not have happened.



Which implies to me that there's some company they're buying their data from (illegally post-GDPR) so I've asked them to provide me that companies details. I'm going to sue my way to the top :cool:

[SvN]

Recruiters are the absolute worst for it. I've never once worked with a recruiter, but I get emailed about 5 candidates per day that they want us to hire.

[phonics]

Recruiters are the absolute worst for it. I've never once worked with a recruiter, but I get emailed about 5 candidates per day that they want us to hire.

You run a business though, your contact has to be somewhere public? I'm just a staffer. The guy got back in touch to say that they got this information originates back in 2014 from 3 jobs ago and could name my entire career path since. They have my phone number and the address of everywhere I've worked as well as my e-mails. It's nuts.

[SvN]

That doesn't mean they have the right to spam me with shit. Having someones details does not equal consent to receive marketing emails.

[phonics]

In other news, you may hate your colleagues but...

1057218975724126209

[Mellberg]

Attempted murder fail. Finish the job properly, hide the body somewhere in ANTARCTICA and tell everyone he said he's going for a walk and might be some time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Not everyone has a criminal mind, mate.

[Danny]

Baz :cool2:

[Ian]

I have a new job!

It's not the public sector one which I've not heard back from but was less keen on AND my job title has engineer in it. I've finally made it, lads.

[Spikey M]

Well in Ian.

You’ll probably find out in the early 2030’s about the Civil service one.

[Ian]

:D

This doesn't match that 10k pay increase sadly but with shift allowance for some lates (from home) I will be doing a week in five it works out to a bump between 15 - 20% so hopefully that'll be noticeable.

[phonics]

HR continues to get angry at me. I have 12 days to use between today and Dcember 31. A period in which I am already taking 14 days holiday.

[SvN]

I'd force you to take it as holiday pay.

[Ian]

It's use it or lose it our place. You can carry 5 days over but only at managers discretion which at the moment would probably be met with a lolmate.

[phonics]

I'd force you to take it as holiday pay.

If only I could, I requested this but they claimed it was illegal in Switzerland or something


It's use it or lose it our place. You can carry 5 days over but only at managers discretion which at the moment would probably be met with a lolmate.

Taking said 14 days would put me to the 'use it or lose it' limit of 10 days carry over, I currently have nearly a full month of unused vacation.

[Giggles]

Engineer Ian :cool:

[Boydy]

Use your fucking holidays, you idiot.

[Spikey M]

Whinging about having to take time off work. Sort yourself out.

[Giggles]

Yeah take them off and stop moaning.

[Pepe]

my job title has engineer in it. I've finally made it, lads.

Yes, you have.

Ian. :cool:

[Magic]

Lawl hit my target on the last day of the month.

Should see nearly 3k comish.

[Kikó]

Just got a bonus. 5.6% of my salary. Boom.

[Magic]

We need figures Kikeo.

[igor_balis]

Plus ones at Xmas parties is disgusting. We're doing a 'christmas carnival' at the Ricoh. Sounds pretty fun in fairness, there's a load of fairground rides and stuff. And casino afterwards is LOCKED IN.