The All New Jobs Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now in Krakow, and got accosted by a very drunk Irishman c.2pm who accused me of being an arms dealer. Sort him out will you Giggles.

[Shindig]

Tractors are weapons in the right hands.

[Magic]

Is anyone on here a full stack developer?

[Spikey M]

Now that I think about it, Jimmy's firm does feel alot more Arms dealy than tractor dealy.

Trips to South America, trips to a country neighbouring a war zone, Iraqi's carrying briefcases around... :sherlock:

[Pepe]

Didn't the police break into his house at some point not that long ago? That doesn't happen to innocent spark plug salesmen. :sherlock:

[Bernanke]

Has he actually ever seen the 'wares' he's selling? :sherlock:

"Why yes I would definitely like 400 of your finest 'transmissions filters'."

[Boydy]

Now that I think about it, Jimmy's firm does feel alot more Arms dealy than tractor dealy.

Trips to South America, trips to a country neighbouring a war zone, Iraqi's carrying briefcases around... :sherlock:

Now owned by South Africans. :sherlock:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have a mate whose wife thinks I'm a spy. Sometimes I believe it myself.

[Ben]

Is £44k the going rate for a spy?

[Gray Fox]

Unless your name is Barney.

[Lewis]

Is £44k the going rate for a spy?

That will be for a Senior Spy.

[Ian]

I have a mate whose wife thinks I'm a spy. Sometimes I believe it myself.

It's the go-to joke for anybody who works abroad a lot but without going to glamourous places.

My dad got it a lot. Now he had a run of coincidences (:sherlock:) where he'd come back from places just in time to avoid some sort of armed unrest going on, but still, if he was a spy he really committed to the "knowing a lot about concrete" bit of his cover story.

[Baz]

Are you saying Daddy Pig might be a spy?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cover story does have to be air tight tbf.

Imagine if he was doing his spy duties and came across a concrete expert, he'd have been rumbled instantly.

[Shindig]

Jimmy's a John Le Carre protagonist and nothing will change my mind.

[Mike]

Could use his concrete knowledge of concrete to ‘disappear’ anyone who questions him.

[Spikey M]

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/irish-football-fan-missing-in-poland-1.720575

:uhoh:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would be some bender but easily doable.

Hopping on a 6-8 hour train is something a pissed up LAD would do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Irishman was still in the bar at 6. A proper bender if he's survived being identified as dead in 2012 though.

[Baz]

New starter on Teams:


Great thank you, am i still meeting you at 9am tomorrow when i checked you're calendar the other day there was a few times down...?

https://th.bing.com/th?id=OSK.HEROKUEK-Qi3DjqvpWl3fsDy4cSAnJzIn8eUj-qiNSYM0IU&w=472&h=280&c=13&rs=2&o=6&dpr=1.5&pid=SANGAM

There's some passive aggression in that ...? and I can't quite put my finger on it. You're priveleged to be able to see my schedule, mate.

[Adramelch]

Any instance of ... in a professional context would seem passive aggresive to me.

[Lofty]

Baz's subordinate already displaying contempt :drool:

[Baz]

Apparently she told someone I was very approachable, I’ll have you know.

[Spikey M]

That's just code for "he's a push over", right?

[Lofty]

All jokes aside Baz based on the interactions you have told us about and the fact she immediately came in going 'lol ai actually want to do this not the job you gave me' I'd be extremely cautious dealing with her cos she sounds to type to fuck your career to move hers upwards.

[Baz]

All jokes aside Baz based on the interactions you have told us about and the fact she immediately came in going 'lol ai actually want to do this not the job you gave me' I'd be extremely cautious dealing with her cos she sounds to type to fuck your career to move hers upwards.
Did my head in yesterday. I'm not technically her line manager but her workload is split between me and someone else, who is assigned as her line manager. When she first started she told me her line manager had done a workplan for her, mapping out objectives and stuff. I asked her if she wanted me to do one and she explicitly said no, and I got the impression she felt it was all a bit unnecessary.

Fast forward to yesterday and she's asked me to do a workplan cos she needs more structure. Like sure, I'll do it, but c'mon.

She's just sent me said workplan and it's so basic. Think I'm gonna go overboard so I don't need to update it much, and probably overwhelm her with short and long term goals. Let's have it.

[Lewis]

I had an interview the other week, and the feedback came in today: 'Interesting and relevant experience in Defence, and strongest academic qualification amongst candidates selected for interview. Unfortunately, the interview was quite poor overall, sometimes giving an impression of not being engaged with the process'. What? I felt very confident and relaxed during the interview, because I know everything they needed me to know, so surely they haven't seen that as me not being arsed (after a lengthy application that took them months to process)?

I think I need to get out of the civil service. Regardless of how productive and informed I am my manner seems to annoy the Communicating & Influencing people. How do I get into re-heating basic geopolitical analysis for a bank?

[Don]

Fam, they're used to dealing with cunts who need to ask for the interview questions a day before the interview because their neurodiverse (read ethnic) brains can't deal with it, of course they're going to be alarmed at your ways.

[Boydy]

Sounds a bit like they didn't like your attitude more than anything.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Knowing things alone is not enough. You need to smile and say 'That's an interesting question' and 'I hadn't thought of it like that before, but...' and 'You will know more about this than me, but I would certainly say...' and all the other bits of linking bollocks that may seem frustratingly inconsequential but in fact are what lifts a human being up from the realm of the 2D encyclopedia for it is, after all, a human being that they are seeking to employ.

[Shindig]

Sounds a bit like they didn't like your attitude more than anything.

Aye. Tone the Lewis down next time.

[Lewis]

Knowing things alone is not enough. You need to smile and say 'That's an interesting question' and 'I hadn't thought of it like that before, but...' and 'You will know more about this than me, but I would certainly say...' and all the other bits of linking bollocks that may seem frustratingly inconsequential but in fact are what lifts a human being up from the realm of the 2D encyclopedia for it is, after all, a human being that they are seeking to employ.

They don't ask you questions that you could respond like that to. They literally go 'Give us an example of a time you Made an Effective Decision', and then sit there like computer game characters until you've stopped talking long enough for them to move on to asking you for an example of when you 'Showed Leadership'. There can't be a worse recruiting system in the world.

[Manc]

They almost always hire the wrong candidates as a result.

[Pepe]

'Give us an example of a time you Made an Effective Decision'

There is this place called 'Teh Refuge'...

[Raoul Duke]

They don't ask you questions that you could respond like that to. They literally go 'Give us an example of a time you Made an Effective Decision', and then sit there like computer game characters until you've stopped talking long enough for them to move on to asking you for an example of when you 'Showed Leadership'. There can't be a worse recruiting system in the world.

Sure, but those questions are a piece of piss to answer and you just need a decent example response. It's formulaic, but it works for both sides.

From their point of view they need to ask candidates roughly the same questions to get a baseline by which to compare answers.

[Spikey M]

Have you seen the state of the civil service? It most definitely does not work for both sides. It works for Igor types that can riff on demand.

[Raoul Duke]

I mean in the sense that if they ask predictable questions then you can have well-formed answers ready-to-go. The rest of it is just filler, like Jim says

[Baz]

They don't ask you questions that you could respond like that to. They literally go 'Give us an example of a time you Made an Effective Decision', and then sit there like computer game characters until you've stopped talking long enough for them to move on to asking you for an example of when you 'Showed Leadership'. There can't be a worse recruiting system in the world.

What did you say when they asked you if you had any questions?

[Offshore Toon]

I always think it's best to just be yourself anyway. The interview works both ways, so if they're cunts it's for the best. What sort of role was it?

[randomlegend]

When we met the first thing you said to the poor bar girl was "it's fucking morbid in here isn't it?"

I'd imagine it's that sort of thing.

[phonics]

I imagine Lewis went full Lewis (read: autist) and they thought he was a weirdo they didn’t want to deal with.

[Lewis]

What did you say when they asked you if you had any questions?

I work with them in my current role, so I asked about whether there was scope for them to anticipate issues and offer advice to people before the people come to them in a panic, like is currently the case with something I'm dealing with for/with them.


I always think it's best to just be yourself anyway. The interview works both ways, so if they're cunts it's for the best. What sort of role was it?

It was doing historical research-based policy stuff for the Royal Navy. It had internal appointment written all over it from the off but still.

[igor_balis]

On nights this week, and my colleague (always two on for nights) is wfh, whole massive two story office and warehouse to myself, it's fucking mint tbf

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was interesting earlier, I was talking to my manager who is struggling to find a candidate of any quality to replace Barney. Job has been live for a month now and not had anyone decent apply. He asked the recruiters why, as the salary offered is fairly artificially high, and they all said the same thing: you're not offering remote working. The job market now is more about that than it is about money, apparently. We are not that corporate and don't have the systems in place to offer comprehensive wfh (telephone forwarding, IT monitoring, and so on), and it's a job/industry that deals in physical products and therefore leans a lot on in-person presence, so we're more or less fucked.

Work from home, order dinner in from home, only go out to pick the kids up, be dragged around tk maxx on a Saturday and go to a shitty barbecue on a Sunday. What a dreadful societal vision.

[igor_balis]

It was interesting earlier, I was talking to my manager who is struggling to find a candidate of any quality to replace Barney. Job has been live for a month now and not had anyone decent apply. He asked the recruiters why, as the salary offered is fairly artificially high, and they all said the same thing: you're not offering remote working. The job market now is more about that than it is about money, apparently. We are not that corporate and don't have the systems in place to offer comprehensive wfh (telephone forwarding, IT monitoring, and so on), and it's a job/industry that deals in physical products and therefore leans a lot on in-person presence, so we're more or less fucked.

Work from home, order dinner in from home, only go out to pick the kids up, be dragged around tk maxx on a Saturday and go to a shitty barbecue on a Sunday. What a dreadful societal vision.

Aye, it's funny, as a lazy workshy twat you'd think I'd love WFH but it ain't for me. I think it's largely A Good Thing, but nah, I go mental doing it. We're allowed to do 50% shifts at home, so I may still occasionally use a WFH day when I have an unusually early start/social plans after work/fancy a hot curry the night before.

[John Arne]

WFH is garbage. Thankfully everyone over here loves coming to the office to avoid staying at home with the in-laws, shitty WiFi and a farting buffalo.

[Adramelch]

I work from home every Tuesday and Thursday in my current job and it's quite good, mostly because I get to skip commuting to work. Even one day a week would mostly accomplish the same effect for me. Two is the highest I'd go though, any more than that and it gets boring.

[Lofty]

I now get more done at home than I do in the office, I have to go in today and I know I'll get barely anything done compared to being at home. It doesn't help that we switched to hot desking during covid so the good office culture was essentially binned.

For me, working from home is preferred. I get to spend all day with my dog, and essentially feel semi-retired. I do think in a different role it might not be great but I am given the freedom to do what I want as long as I deliver the goods and my work is essentially looking at hundreds of spreadsheets alone so it's easier without small talk.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For some jobs/people I'm sure it's perfect, but my anguish was more about it being so widespread that it actually fucks the job market.

[Kikó]

Considering I've worked almost extensively from home for nearly 3 years, I can confirm it's absolutely ace.

[Spikey M]

For some jobs/people I'm sure it's perfect, but my anguish was more about it being so widespread that it actually fucks the job market.

It hasn't. You just work for pensioners that refuse to move with the times.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Physical product. It just means workplaces that don't deal in physical product have a massive hiring advantage compared to before.

[Spikey M]

Not really. You can still have a warehouse full of plebs / robots and have your salesmen working from home.

[Shindig]

Aye, even on the globetrotting parts, you're not bringing parts with you in the back of the hire car.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Salesmen, buyers, accountants, R&D people, quality control, the aforementioned army of plebs... 80% of the workforce need to be there daily, and you need the warehouse buildings so can't save cost on space anyway, so why would you make the huge investment in WFH infrastructure so that a few people like me can have a wank twice a day.

On a slightly separate point, I wonder where all the job market demand has gone anyway. Are there tons more people out there just not working, post-furlough? How does that work?

[Shindig]

3 million on PIP. It was probably 2 million before the pandemic hit. Not that people on PIP can't also claim a payslip.

[Boydy]

Maybe if people don't want to work in places that don't offer WFH and those places find it hard to get staff as a result, then those places need to offer higher wages to better incentivise people to work there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's the whole point of what I said in the original post, he's put the salary artificially high but it still doesn't make any difference because remote working is apparently (according to the recruitment people) a much bigger factor to people than salary is.

[Spikey M]

People on benefits live a similar standard of life to those working for minimum wage. Those on PIP and DLA are receiving more still. There is no incentive to work for large swathes of the population.

[Spikey M]

That's the whole point of what I said in the original post, he's put the salary artificially high but it still doesn't make any difference because remote working is apparently a much bigger factor to people than salary is.

Artificially high probably just covers the commute. What's the point?

[SvN]

We are in the office 1 day per week, and even that's a non-starter for a lot of people.

I can't imagine going back to being in the office full time now, though. And there aren't many companies in our sector that are.

[Raoul Duke]

Maybe you can hire some top, top lads from the European Union to fill in the gaps?

Unless there was some issue that made it much harder for people to travel and work there?!??

[Lewis]

Obviously nobody top, top amongst the million Africans and Asians who turned up last year.

[Pepe]

I hope I can find one of those WFH deals. Rather pretend to work at home that in some office full of people.

[Baz]

I hope I can find one of those WFH deals. Rather pretend to work at home that in some office full of people.It is miles better. I do one day in the office and strangely look forward to going in once a week to see everyone.

[Manc]

Three years of WFH has probably added thirty years to my life expectancy.

[Giggles]

And then people say they're actually doing anything. Though o don't see how sitting in your jocks eating Doritos and collecting stickers on fifa can add on years.

[Spikey M]

I achieve far more working from home. It's amazing how much more productive you can be when you don't have people asking you questions all day. Does dossing happen? Of course it does, but it happens in the office too. More often if anything.

[Offshore Toon]

It was doing historical research-based policy stuff for the Royal Navy. It had internal appointment written all over it from the off but still.
Have you pushed for further feedback to understand what they mean? That would show engagement with the process and that you give a fuck. There's a chance nobody made the cut, so proving them wrong may result in them inviting you to apply again.

[Offshore Toon]

I achieve far more working from home. It's amazing how much more productive you can be when you don't have people asking you questions all day. Does dossing happen? Of course it does, but it happens in the office too. More often if anything.
Apparently people usually give around four hours of true productivity a day. At home there's incentive to knock that out early instead of pretending to be interested in Vanessa's cycle to work.

[Lewis]

Have you pushed for further feedback to understand what they mean? That would show engagement with the process and that you give a fuck. There's a chance nobody made the cut, so proving them wrong may result in them inviting you to apply again.

Yeah, I asked for some elaboration and said another bit of it was contradictory (example of my excellent analysis skills there), so we'll see what they say. The bloke was bald, so it could all be a conspiracy against me.

[Offshore Toon]

That sounds more like arguing with a bouncer than desire to improve.

[Lewis]

'Engage with *this* process, Eggbert.'
*rubs hair at him*

[Lofty]

And then people say they're actually doing anything. Though o don't see how sitting in your jocks eating Doritos and collecting stickers on fifa can add on years.

My work is deadline based with 6 deadlines a week, if people weren't doing their job it would be apparent pretty quickly.

[Manc]

Giggles and Jim are just built different. Real men, for the real world.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The boss got someone in for an interview at 5pm. He showed me the guy's CV, between 2017-22 he worked for McLaren (the F1 team), under this heading he put '7 years in the engineering department and 3 years in logistics', impressive for a 5 year stay. I hope he added up better when he interviewed with Ron Dennis for this job in the 'engineering department'.

[Ben]

He was probably there 2012-22 but realised owning up to being there through the GP2 years wasn't a good look and neglected to edit the full description.

[mo]

First half term as Head of Year completed. It's been fairly brutal, with parental deaths, transphobia, tantrums & truancy but I've only thought about jacking it in seven or eight times.

My new favourite parent is one who likes to chew my ear for extended periods of time down the phone. Her eldest has a formal ASD diagnosis and anxiety, but no EHCP (European Health and Care Plan, setting out what their needs are in school). Parent has been ranting to me about how the school has failed him, the SEN co-ordinator was meant to do x, y and z, and hasn't, etc. She just rambles on and on, getting more and more irate. She genuinely believes having the EHCP will allow her child to learn more (they have a tendency to just leave site part way through the day, so miss a lot of school) and is anticipating that the EHCP will grant them...a robot.

:|

The robot will attend lessons in their child's stead, whilst the child, unable to physically attend, can participate in the lesson, ask the teacher questions and hang out with mates. And I think she genuinely believes this is possible. She will be so disappointed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Robots finally taking over :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hang on. So in this bizarre version of reality, the robot would go and sit in class, while the child sits at home speaking into a mic and this is broadcast via the robot's pouty lips? I have missed a lot here haven't I.

[randomlegend]

EHCP (European Health and Care Plan)

Education, health and care plan and if they are done properly they can have a significant impact on the child's learning. They generally don't result in the provision of robots.

These robots do exist in some hospitals though. The robot sits in the classroom and streams the lesson to the child's device and they can talk through it. Helps kids who have prolonged admissions from missing out on education.

https://www.manchesterhospitalschool.co.uk/about-our-offer__trashed/av1-robots/

[Lofty]

It's going to be some minimum wage uber driver with an ipad strapped to his face isn't it?

[randomlegend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJHvPMfYios&t=12s

Looks like some schools do use them.

[Pen]

Are those robots available for workplaces? If so I have the same as that kid and also want one. Don't fail me too Mo 😞

[Raoul Duke]

This kid might be the greatest blagger since Greta Thunderbird. Heroic effort

[randomlegend]

This kid might be the greatest blagger since Greta Thunderbird. Heroic effort

The kid in the video or mo's one?

[mo]

Education, health and care plan and if they are done properly they can have a significant impact on the child's learning. They generally don't result in the provision of robots.

These robots do exist in some hospitals though. The robot sits in the classroom and streams the lesson to the child's device and they can talk through it. Helps kids who have prolonged admissions from missing out on education.

https://www.manchesterhospitalschool.co.uk/about-our-offer__trashed/av1-robots/

Thanks for explaining it to me doc, little bit clueless after 10 years in teaching and having applied for one for my own child. Of course European was a mistake on my part.

I googled the robot thing after she mentioned it, so was aware they exist, but she's clearly doolally if she think's we'll get one in an LA (think that means Local Authority) school.

[Raoul Duke]

Mo's kid

[randomlegend]

Thanks for explaining it to me doc, little bit clueless after 10 years in teaching and having applied for one for my own child. Of course European was a mistake on my part.

I googled the robot thing after she mentioned it, so was aware they exist, but she's clearly doolally if she think's we'll get one in an LA (think that means Local Authority) school.

Your tone towards EHCPs came across quite dismissive. That combined with you getting the name wrong made me think you were in the significant camp of teachers who view ECHPs as fairly useless and don't engage much with SEN provision.

Clearly I misinterpreted your stance, my apologies.

[Mike]

Wish I had a class robot.

[Ian]

I'd even take a mediocre robot to be fair.

[randomlegend]

I'd even take a mediocre robot to be fair.

Ayyyyy :D

[Baz]

Gotta drive to Wolverhampton in the morning. :moop: Will probably be done and home by about half two, but my out of office is already set til Monday.

[igor_balis]

When we get a breakdown, with the exception of a couple of weird little exceptions, we just contact the dealership in our network who are closest to the vehicle. In the day it's pretty simple - call up reception, ask for service, get them to send a mechanic. On nights you go straight to the on call technician and basically wake him up to go to the lorry.

Sometimes it takes a few calls, or you occasionally have to go to the next nearest dealer if they're sleeping through the call, but they're largely pretty good, reliable lads. This week, I've had the same technician answer the phone, agree to attend a breakdown, not answer any subsequent calls, then phone us hours later to be like "yeah fell asleep sorry". Legend.

[Baz]

Gotta drive to Wolverhampton in the morning. :moop: Will probably be done and home by about half two, but my out of office is already set til Monday.
1 hour 40 to get there. 2 hours 56 to get home. :cab: M6 suxxx

[Baz]

I did get to watch two men inject themselves with heroin though.

[Lofty]

Well worth it then. The wife tried to suggest a jaunt down the M6 to Costco before but I told her where to go, friday afternoon in galeforce winds for a non essential trip is just self harm.

[Gray Fox]

The M6 always has something on a Friday afternoon. Without fail.

Worst is it's almost always around J12-15 sort of area and everyone has the bright idea of travelling through this little town full of roadworks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just had an email to tell us that someone in the R&D department dropped off their perch over the weekend. Always a surreal moment juxtaposed against their place in the daily grind.

[Raoul Duke]

Why does your company have an R&D department?

[Jimmy Floyd]

To research and develop the product.

[Baz]

I've been trying to work with the LOCAL SPORTS TEAM cos they're massive and everyone has at least a passing interest in them, to get them more involved with educating children agaisnt bad life choices - either by players going in schools and telling kids not to do drink and drugs, or by inviting them to the stadium under the guise of a cool school trip but hammer home the no drink and drugs thing while they're there - but the chuffing stadium is sponsored by a vaping company, so they can't bad mouth vaping, which is absolutely rife among everyone, but particularly young people. Waste of time. Might as well go and give out free ket.

[Lofty]

A totally wicked wasted of time.

[Pepe]

Using athletes as role models. Might as well hire Marlboro Man.

[Spikey M]

Shut up you dicks. The idea of getting celebrities to say "don't do drugs" has never been tried before and if it had it would've worked.

[John Arne]

Some bloke owes me $1500 and ain't paying. So, I bought a similar domain of a famous law firm, slightly amended to make it look localised - auto forwarded the domain URL to the real law firm website, created a new email address and copied them in my email asking for payment. He just responded saying payment will be made soon.

20 mins and $14 well spent :drool:

[Danny]

Shut up you dicks. The idea of getting celebrities to say "don't do drugs" has never been tried before and if it had it would've worked.

Maybe Mark Bosnich wasnt the best choice.

[Don]

Some bloke owes me $1500 and ain't paying. So, I bought a similar domain of a famous law firm, slightly amended to make it look localised - auto forwarded the domain URL to the real law firm website, created a new email address and copied them in my email asking for payment. He just responded saying payment will be made soon.

20 mins and $14 well spent :drool:

Serious big dick energy.

[Offshore Toon]

Sounds it, until the guy forwards a payment confirmation email on from payment@barcllays.com.

[Baz]

Shut up you dicks. The idea of getting celebrities to say "don't do drugs" has never been tried before and if it had it would've worked.I’m sure stuff you’ve tried at work has also been done before. :sorry:

[Raoul Duke]

To research and develop the product.

But what is "the product"? I thought you sold engine parts for tractors? Or is there some manufacturing part of it too?

[Ben]

Fast tractor > slow tractor

[Shindig]

Ever see a tractor with a fat rear wing? Jimmy has.

[Danny]

https://i.imgur.com/Du1hnjN.png

The tractor of the future.

[Jimmy Floyd]

But what is "the product"? I thought you sold engine parts for tractors? Or is there some manufacturing part of it too?

How do you think engine parts for tractors come into being?

[Raoul Duke]

I just thought you sourced them from big manufacturers and sold them on at a mark-up

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sort of, but we have our own worldwide brand which means it needs to be good, so we have four engineers to do the drawings / use fancy machines, and three R&D people to research what we need to produce next. We also have a scout in China who goes around finding non-shit factories.

It is admittedly an interesting fish, the R&D department. A three-person team, whose leader is a comedy posh man who wears brown brogues and demands that the other two call him 'Sir'. The two below him are a useless 23 year old we plucked out of the warehouse because he was cheap, and a cheerful woman who has just died.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The MD is currently in the sales office revealing that she was found at the bottom of the stairs, and therefore speculating that the husband might have moved her there to make it look like an accident. I swear I work with and the for the fucking worst people in the world.

[Ian]

Yeah, we know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He actually uttered the phrase 'I suppose I need to watch more CSI', laughed, and then mentioned he was going over later with flowers for the husband. As soon as he left the room we all looked at each other in total disbelief. I think that was the weirdest ten minutes I've ever spent in a workplace.

One guy was brave enough to start saying 'Well, I think pathologists know what they're doing' but the rest of us were trapped in a sort of stunned silence.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Staircase II: Electric Boogaloo.

[Spikey M]

My employer has today advertised a Team Leader job in our sister team. We all get paid the same, same holiday, etc. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, the team leader role is being advertised at exactly the same wage that us plebs are on.

We have asked them if it's a mistake (it isn't) and the other Team Leaders have confirmed they are on more than the advertised wage, so I legitimately have no idea what's going on here. Why would anyone "step up" for the same wage? In fact, you'd probably get less because they don't go out and about much, so there'd be no travel expenses.

Honestly baffled. Someone's fucked up somewhere.

[Manc]

What even is a team leader?

[Lofty]

A manager without the title who gets all the responsibility and none of the authority.

[Ian]

Or just another name for the same thing.

[Gray Fox]

My place uses "step ups" and "team leaders."

Essentially you have the carrot dangled that doing this role will put you in good stead for when actual management positions become available. Said position will become available and they'll hire from outside anyway. The manager gets the "team leader" to do their bidding(or as much as they can palm off) and also get to send them out to take the shit from the staff when something goes wrong.

I'd bet after those current team leaders leave or get shuffled onto something else, the new rate you've seen will be standard. Worst part is there's always someone who will take the job.

[Ian]

"It's good for your development."

[Offshore Toon]

A lot of managers/pleb leaders are just glorified admin-HR hybrid roles, so they're rightfully losing all prestige and being pushed into poverty. Learn some real skills or become a postie.

[Lofty]

I'm a manager in title who has no staff to manage, just information :cool:

But I have to attend mandatory manager courses no matter how many times I point out I don't manage anyone :(

[Spikey M]

I've had a discussion with my manager about it and she is "disappointed" that I'm not applying. I'm pretty sure the job was mine if I wanted it, but I'm not sure I'd apply even if there was a wage increase, nevermind for the same money I'm currently on, and I told her as much. So that's bridges burned and earth salted for some time, I expect.

[Lofty]

More headache for same money is insane. Good call. The only way I would apply to manage my team if it comes up is just because I know the fucking clown in my team will apply and I'd rather do it than him be my manager.

[Boydy]

I've had a discussion with my manager about it and she is "disappointed" that I'm not applying. I'm pretty sure the job was mine if I wanted it, but I'm not sure I'd apply even if there was a wage increase, nevermind for the same money I'm currently on, and I told her as much. So that's bridges burned and earth salted for some time, I expect.
If that burns bridges and salts the earth with her, fuck her.

[Baz]

I’ve started seeking out and/or accepting anything that involves travelling somewhere and setting my out of office. Diamorphine assisted treatment? Oh it’s in Birmingham? Yes please. Workshop that barely relates to my work? In Liverpool? Sign me up. Festival of films made my drug addicts? I’m there! Conference? Yep! Bonus points if lunch is provided and full on drippy wide-on if I get some loot like a stressball or lanyard.

[mo]

You'd be mad not to, to be honest. Think I'd do the same just to get a break from the office.

Any sort of conferences in teaching are usually saturdays, cos every organiser knows attendance will be down if they host in the week and rely on schools to provide cover for staff attending. So I've never bothered.

[Lofty]

Today is a red letter deadline day in my department, so naturally the entire company internet has shit the bed :D

[Danny]

I’ve started seeking out and/or accepting anything that involves travelling somewhere and setting my out of office. Diamorphine assisted treatment? Oh it’s in Birmingham? Yes please. Workshop that barely relates to my work? In Liverpool? Sign me up. Festival of films made my drug addicts? I’m there! Conference? Yep! Bonus points if lunch is provided and full on drippy wide-on if I get some loot like a stressball or lanyard.

Always take advantage when you can. I have had a couple of trips to India and various places in the US on the company. “Yep, I really did eat lunch at the Irish pub in Chicago airport and no I don’t have an itemized receipt.”

[Shindig]

In for some system testing tomorrow. If nothing fucks up, it's only an hour. :uhoh:

Delayed the start for an hour and I didn't even have my accesses ready. :moop:

[Baz]

I’ve started seeking out and/or accepting anything that involves travelling somewhere and setting my out of office. Diamorphine assisted treatment? Oh it’s in Birmingham? Yes please. Workshop that barely relates to my work? In Liverpool? Sign me up. Festival of films made my drug addicts? I’m there! Conference? Yep! Bonus points if lunch is provided and full on drippy wide-on if I get some loot like a stressball or lanyard.

Film festival today. :harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Barney's replacement has finally arrived. She's a ditsy woman who says things like 'Yeah I'm a bit mental haha'. Naturally I've been made to train her.

[Ben]

Match made in heaven. Looking forward to the anecdotes.

[Lofty]

Anyone who says they are a bit mental are usually quite dull. Unless they have crazy eyes, then be on your guard.

[Spikey M]

It usually just means they talk too much.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

At least she's not "bubbly".

[Spikey M]

That's the same thing. It just means they're also overweight.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, slender build disqualifies her from being 'bubbly' but it's very much in that area. Too stupid for 'feisty'. Any other sexist words available?

[wullie]

She sounds like a live one

[Lofty]

She's a go-er.

[Lewis]

We've had somebody join who 'over-shares', and, seeing as it is obviously deliberate, you have to wonder what the purpose of it is.

[Lofty]

Did Barney ever find out they earmarked his replacement as Lynn from Alan Partridge?

[Spikey M]

We've had somebody join who 'over-shares', and, seeing as it is obviously deliberate, you have to wonder what the purpose of it is.

Some people just can't help themselves. I have a colleague that tells me basically everything. When she has a doctors appointment, what it's for, what her boyfriend did to upset her, what she has for dinner, blah, blah fucking blah. It's become so time consuming that I end up doing half the shit she's meant to do for myself because it's quicker than the chit-chat associated with giving it to her.

It's potentially the best skiving masterstroke of all time.

[Magic]

The company that bought us is removing every trace of the previous name. The most traumatic thing is a complete fresh wipe of existing devices. There is no migration. I mean, is that not just totally fucking insane? There's like 30,000 people that will get everything they've built up destroyed. Fuck this.

[Manc]

Get back on the meds.

[Magic]

Get back on the meds.

:mad:

[Jimmy Floyd]

New woman is spending her entire time complaining about how cold it is in the office. It's going to be a real struggle for her if she's one of those women who needs every room to be pushing boiling point.

[SvN]

There's one of those at our office, but she's not a complainer. The solution was to buy her an oil filled radiator she keeps next to her desk.

[Gray Fox]

You're going to need a collective putting of the foot down before she touches those air con controls.

[Ben]

Thankfully we have our own offices (1-4 people; I'm on my own :cool:) and next door they have the air con permanently on 30C. Your eyes water as soon as you go through the doorway.

[Boydy]

30C?! It'd be like sitting in a fucking sauna all day.

[Ben]

Honestly it's insane. The woman is of Mediterranean origin but fucking hell there's no need. The other person in the office I dare say would like it a bit cooler but doesn't dare speak up for fear of being verbally murdered.

[Spikey M]

I'd be getting a new job or a new office. Fuck that.

[randomlegend]

Yeah I would refuse to come to work. That is not reasonable.

[Lofty]

Mine has an instruction not to turn it above 21 by the thermostat.

Had to do this today: https://www.insights.com/

Anyone else had the pleasure?

[Baz]

Had to do this today: https://www.insights.com/

Anyone else had the pleasure?Think I’ve done that cos the logo looks familiar. Do you fill in a questionnaire where you select from four words which best describe you, and then a profile is written about you that’s about as generic as a horoscope? Think we were also assigned colours and I was livid to get blue. Not because of whatever it was supposed to mean (blurred lines between being intelligent and being an autistic nerd, from what I could gather), but Everton innit.


New woman is spending her entire time complaining about how cold it is in the office. It's going to be a real struggle for her if she's one of those women who needs every room to be pushing boiling point.My new starters been here eight weeks now and couldn’t be more sound. She’s well on board with my new regime of finding as many doss-day trips away from work as possible, and Thursdays in the office is basically just chatting bollocks all day while listening to meetings on Teams with the camera off.

She does her work though, that’s the main thing. Although she can’t spell.

[Giggles]

There's one of those at our office, but she's not a complainer. The solution was to buy her an oil filled radiator she keeps next to her desk.

Of all people I can't see Jimmy's crew doing that. They'd probably ban coats.

[Shindig]

This week we had a woman being discriminated against by the climate control system. The vent above her head decided to blast cold air exclusively at her.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's trouble at mill chez-nous. South Africans are kicking off because we've only grown by 5% or something this year instead of their ludicrously inflated target of 20. Not sure what the penalty for this poor performance will be, given they can't exactly hire anyone better. Maybe we'll be forcibly relocated to Potchefstroom.

[Lofty]

Think I’ve done that cos the logo looks familiar. Do you fill in a questionnaire where you select from four words which best describe you, and then a profile is written about you that’s about as generic as a horoscope? Think we were also assigned colours and I was livid to get blue. Not because of whatever it was supposed to mean (blurred lines between being intelligent and being an autistic nerd, from what I could gather), but Everton innit.

My new starters been here eight weeks now and couldn’t be more sound. She’s well on board with my new regime of finding as many doss-day trips away from work as possible, and Thursdays in the office is basically just chatting bollocks all day while listening to meetings on Teams with the camera off.

She does her work though, that’s the main thing. Although she can’t spell.

Yeah you get a result detailing your personality via four colours, Red Yellow Blue and Green. My team was basically all blue but I was green :cool:

[wullie]

End of September we had the dreaded meeting about a restructure which put 120 of us in the whole dept at risk, main guy taking the meeting said to look at it as an opportunity which had a massive air of bullshit about it. Had four interviews for six different jobs with two of those jobs basically just remaining employed as I am as a minimum, I've now been offered two promotions and still waiting to hear about others. I have absolutely no idea how interviews work as I came away from all of them assuming I'd be dancing for coins on a street corner.

[Ian]

Was there a "Sporting moments in MS Paint" section of the interview? If so it was probably that which has set you up.

[Shindig]

"Okay, so for the next section we have six club crests in a grid ..."

[wullie]

When they had the selection round on famous Moroccans I was quids in

[Spikey M]

I booked a whole morning of home visits in Romford and only one of them bothered to be home. So I'm now sat in my car in a rainy, Basildon Sainsburys carpark, eating a lukewarm sausage roll until my Afternoon appointments at 2. Seething.

And bored. Which is why I'm posting this. You will all suffer with me.

[Gray Fox]

Had a person turn up to work yesterday already in a bad way(suffer badly from anxiety and depression). Asked to speak to their manager about it to be told said manager is too busy but he'll fetch a MHFA. They must have spent an hour and a half of essentially trying to stop them having a complete mental breakdown.

At this point the shift manager turns up wanting to know if they're planning on going back to work or not. Basically saying if you don't think you can, you should think about going home. After some coaxing they eventually went back to work. Almost right at the end of the shift the shift manager comes back to them and explains that they're docking two hours of pay but he's doing them a favour because the company wont count the time against them.

Given financial worries is one of the main triggers at play here that's an outstanding move and is sure to mean my Wednesday is a busy one.

[Spikey M]

I think I would probably kill him before I killed myself if I was in that scenario. How does someone become that big of a cunt?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They had enough of sitting in their car in a rainy, Basildon Sainsburys carpark, eating a lukewarm sausage roll until their Afternoon appointments.

[Gray Fox]

What's more frustrating is they get no support at home, so work is their escape from it all and they're essentially shutting help and support down now. Suggesting she goes home rather than instructing means they're not liable to pay for the time off, if she does and also means if they so choose they can take her through the absence process.

I believe she was also told that they would like her to make those two hours back up later in the week too, but that I'm not sure on.

As for the manager, it's exactly what these warehouse types want in charge. Remove any potential "bad apples" and get those quantities out the door. Empathy has been trained right out of them.
I'm not surprised with the manager though. Same guy once told me that it must surely be cheaper to put my three kids into an nursery(I'm wasn't signed up to one and it was a 6am start on this particular day) for the day and come to work and so couldn't understand why I needed to have a day off. Didn't also understand why I laughed at him when he said it.

[Spikey M]

They had enough of sitting in their car in a rainy, Basildon Sainsburys carpark, eating a lukewarm sausage roll until their Afternoon appointments.

In that case, dock the twat a month.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Small amounts of power make people into, well, I won't say little Hitlers, but certainly micro Eichmanns.

[Cord]

To stick up for middle managers a bit, you do spend so much time having to deal with people announcing that they are not prepared to do any of their harder duties for a period of at least 6 months because their goldfish looked a bit sad that morning, that it is sometimes hard to engage the long dormant human bit of your brain when a genuine case comes a long.

I'm running a reasonably large department of people these days and I do feel like I spend the whole day operating as a cross between a nursery school teacher, a full time counsellor, and yes, Adolf Eichmann.

[Spikey M]

I have an "informal chat" over teams with a potential employer tomorrow. This is new to me. Am I right in thinking it's basically just a "first interview" and they're almost certainly going to have a long and protracted employment procedure off the back of this?

[Jimmy Floyd]

To stick up for middle managers a bit

The hero we need.

And yeah, spikes, it's an 'is he a cunt' filter.

[Pepe]

I'm running a reasonably large department of people these days

Do you shoo them in the back when they come asking for help?

[Boydy]

The hero we need.

And yeah, spikes, it's an 'is he a cunt' filter.

That and also it's a good chance for you to ask questions to see if it's worth the hassle of going through the whole process.

[Baz]

I feel like every week gets busier. I'm definitely doing something wrong.

[Dark Soldier]

I have an "informal chat" over teams with a potential employer tomorrow. This is new to me. Am I right in thinking it's basically just a "first interview" and they're almost certainly going to have a long and protracted employment procedure off the back of this?

Yes. I had this. They ended up wanting me to do a six interview/presentation process to become a fucking contact centre advisor on 23k. Lolled it off.

[phonics]

I feel like every week gets busier. I'm definitely doing something wrong.

Probably because you spend 90% of your week dossing off or working out how to plan your next dossing off so it builds up.

[Lofty]

I have an "informal chat" over teams with a potential employer tomorrow. This is new to me. Am I right in thinking it's basically just a "first interview" and they're almost certainly going to have a long and protracted employment procedure off the back of this?

My mrs just had one in the form of a 'screening phone call', I think it is partly due to AI and CV writing services help beat the automated sift you end up with monosyllabic morons who can't wipe their own arse in the interview if you don't run the recruitment version of the Voight-Kampff test.

[randomlegend]

It's a sad indictment of mental health services in this country that workplaces have to try to provide "mental health first aid" at all. If anyone suggested you had to have someone at work to diagnose and provide advice for employees physical illness, everyone would rightly think they were insane. I appreciate workplaces have people trained in physical first aid, but that's to provide the very basics when things acutely happen at work, it's not remotely the same.

[Baz]

Probably because you spend 90% of your week dossing off or working out how to plan your next dossing off so it builds up.That is true, actually. :D

Got some county lines lived experience talk lined up for next Friday, for example.

[Kikó]

Didn't get promoted in this cycle. Seething.

[Dark Soldier]

Found out today I'm getting an 8% pay rise. Decent. Its (slightly) performance based. If you're shit it's 2-4%, doing your job steady it's 5-8%. Kissing arse, doing extra hours etc gets you 10%. Fuck doing the latter for 2% extra.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our sales director called me today for substantial advice on a presentation he has to give to the South African big cheeses, even though there are about 6 people between me and him in the structure chart, all of whom have 'manager' in their title whereas I don't. He also called me 'the smartest guy in the room' the other day when introducing me to the new starter. I think I'm in the professional equivalent of the friendzone.

[AyDee]

Well done those receiving good news above and commiserations to Kiko. Next cycle!

I've also just been promoted, leading to a 14% pay bump (after a 4% increase in the summer) and 3 extra days of annual leave too. Glorious stuff.

[Foe]

How do these promotion cycles work?

We had our new (temp) CEO in the office today and he held a townhall where one (probably now former) employee decided to stand up with a pre prepared note and berate him for a decision he, the leadership team and the board made.

When the ceo then tried to respond/answer he was heckled and interrupted by the same person resulting in the ceo bickering on stage in front of everyone and those online.

Quite possibly the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The new woman is the latest to do my head in because she can't deal with silence. If chat dies down even for two minutes, she starts being visibly restless and then saying things like 'Oh, I'm so tired, what about you?!' because her brain can't process the silence. Barney was a bit like this as well.

I fucking love silence.

[Spikey M]

It usually just means they talk too much.

I'm claiming this as an e-victory.

[Magic]

How do these promotion cycles work?

We had our new (temp) CEO in the office today and he held a townhall where one (probably now former) employee decided to stand up with a pre prepared note and berate him for a decision he, the leadership team and the board made.

When the ceo then tried to respond/answer he was heckled and interrupted by the same person resulting in the ceo bickering on stage in front of everyone and those online.

Quite possibly the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen.

Lol who even cares enough to do this. Where's the apathy?

[Baz]

Couldn’t attend a team meeting today cos I have a regular meeting every Thursday at 1 and they keep inexplicably booking it for then. Unfortunately this meant I wasn’t present when they were looking for volunteers to sort out Christmas Jumper Day, and was kindly nominated by my colleagues.

Thankfully I’ve got my cute little sidekick now, so I was able to update the action tracker from my meeting while she signed up to Just Giving and printed out all the posters with the details on. :baz:

Colleagues 1 - 2 Baz

[Spikey M]

I’ve got my cute little sidekick

You belong on every register.

[Baz]

She’s 26.

I think I fancy her though.

[Lofty]

Tribunal incoming.

[Baz]

:rosebud:

[Manc]

My office building has been evacuated due to the possibility of a collapsing crane. Genuinely gutted if I miss such scenes.

[Lofty]

If it's in Leeds I have seen internal reports at my spot saying they've cleared trains to run past it as they have had assurances it won't fall.

[Baz]

Latest from my cute little sidekick:


We are like two gossip girls about peoples working activity but we just spend the entire day using our teams as MSN? :lol:

Also called me a lovely person yesterday. Well and truly friendzoned, which is probably for the best.

[Offshore Toon]

Mate, she knows she's got you wrapped around her pinky. Stop flirting on Teams before somebody files an FOI against your department.

[Baz]

You can’t extract Teams conversations as part of an FOI, only emails. :dc:

[Lofty]

A lot of organisations seem to think otherwise.

[Baz]

Even so, nothing would be achieved.

As for being wrapped around her little finger, that doesn’t really make sense cos she does all the work she is asked to do.

[Offshore Toon]

Not like that, hun.

[Lofty]

Is the 'cute little sidekick' and the new starter you were complaining about the same person?

Our team moved our group chat off teams to try and avoid FOI nonsense, our teams group chat is really just for sterile technical chat now.

[Shindig]

Ours gets used mainly to moan about the systems going down.

[Manc]

Does Baz know he has a wife and kids?

[Baz]

Is the 'cute little sidekick' and the new starter you were complaining about the same person?Yep. Still can’t spell.


Does Baz know he has a wife and kids?
Yep.

It’s not like omg I wanna eat her arse but she’s just dead sound and pleasant. I remember being out once with some mates and we got talking to these two girls and one lad was chatting to one for about 20 mins and came back buzzing about how fit she was. She wasn’t fit 25 minutes ago though.

[Spikey M]

This is some sinister shit.

[Baz]

Not really, it’s just some mild exaggeration for forum relevancy.

Best part is the two other people who were employed at the same time at her level are absolutely rubbish. I interviewed one of them (big pat on my back for correctly identifying the best candidate, by the way) and after we said no she applied again and the idiots who interviewed her (and have now left) somehow thought she was a valuable acquisition. She has since cried to my mate that she has no guidance and complained of poor line management. (Another big pat on my back..)

And the other one has had three formal complaints from service providers cos she hasn’t paid their invoices and hasn’t replied to them about it, and she’s only ten weeks in. :harold: That was my original job too and I had it absolutely nailed down tight, so they’re basically used to 7-star service and now have zero. Sure, if you insist, another pat on my back, ty.

But yeah nothing sinister. It’s not like I’m posting her pics on here for approval to ask her to cancel her wedding next year. Not yet anyway. :baz: Christmas Do season is almost upon us.

[Bernanke]

But yeah nothing sinister. It’s not like I’m posting her pics on here for approval to ask her to cancel her wedding next year. Not yet anyway. :baz: Christmas Do season is almost upon us.

https://i.giphy.com/media/3FBwwRCNTSa52/200.webp

[Baz]

And the other one has had three formal complaints from service providers cos she hasn’t paid their invoices and hasn’t replied to them about it, and she’s only ten weeks in. :harold: That was my original job too and I had it absolutely nailed down tight, so they’re basically used to 7-star service and now have zero.

This one has gone off sick for four weeks.

https://jump-1-block-1-get-carter.s3.amazonaws.com/media/uploaded-files/6.%20Christmas%20smug%20mode.jpg

[Waffdon]

A lot of organisations seem to think otherwise.

Hope not. :lol:

[Dark Soldier]

Interview Monday for my preferred role in the company. Technology specialist. Helping the company integrate its new CCaaS system over the next two years. I did the exact same at Dunelm, stress testing, building reports, feeding back across the teams etc. 20% bump in wage.

Easy street lads.

[Don]

Was getting my regular lunch at Tortilla and they were banging some great latin music whilst 5 people worked the production line for my burrito. Simple work, decent camaraderie and customer service, no stress and no crushing monotony of office labour. No WFH, hour long toilet breaks and outstanding pay and pension though.

On the topic of WFH though, aa if morale working for these cunts wasn't rock bottom already:

https://www.civilserviceworld.com/professions/article/civil-servants-home-remove-working-60-in-office#:~:text=%E2%80%9CWe%20have%20together%20agr eed%2C%20therefore,the%20letter%2C%20seen%20by%20C SW.

My team was on 60% already so minimal effect for me but it's only being enforced recently with login data aiding managers so the masses who weren't adhering to it will be bitten as well as the numerous other teams who were only working toward 40%. There will be space issues if they succeed in getting everyone in but we truly lost this war that we thought we had won after COVID. Mon a juicy AI-instigated redundancy offer.

[Manc]

That's me fucked.

[Lofty]

My company jumped early with their agile working policy being rolled out officially and thanks to the power of the unions in the rail industry they'll be hard pressed to roll that one back :cool:

Also they are abandoning our Manchester office with no replacement lined up so there's that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Was getting my regular lunch at Tortilla and they were banging some great latin music whilst 5 people worked the production line for my burrito. Simple work, decent camaraderie and customer service, no stress and no crushing monotony of office labour. No WFH, hour long toilet breaks and outstanding pay and pension though.

I fucking love that place. But for the British man's penchant for abominable fried shit at every meal, they should have 1,000 branches nationwide and be turning over £5 billion.

[Don]

Hear, hear. It being one of my two meals of the day, I need big volume for my lunches and I'm not sure if there's anywhere that offers the same value as their £8.70 large burrito so I average 3 a week. Loyalty scheme making 1 in 6 free and you're looking at £7.25 too, top stuff.

[Ben]

Is this the posh Taco Bell place? I'm miles away from any of them. :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are 51 in the south, 7 in the midlands and 9 in the north. I'm afraid until you educate your peers to stop eating chips out of the loo, and make them willing to part with more than £1.80 for quality fare, you won't be afforded such advantages.

[Ben]

We still put gravy on chips marra, it's going to be a while.

[Don]

I hit up a Taco Bell and although their veggie quesadilla or whatever I had wasn't too bad in its ingredients, it still retains much of the fast food physical damage and distress. The portions are pathetic also.

Have wondered just how Mexican Tortilla's offerings are, i suspect it's just a very random Western take on it. Disappointing that they got rid of their coriander rice recently.

[Boydy]

We've got one of those Tortilla places in Belfast these days too. Not tried it yet. There used to be a really good local chain that did burritos the size of a new born baby for about £7 but the original founders sold it off to some private equity firm and it's gone to shit since. Prices went up and portions went down.

[Danny]

Is this the posh Taco Bell place? I'm miles away from any of them. :(

Posh Taco Bell?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cF6D8zDa9U&ab_channel=BlueCereal

[Jimmy Floyd]

I hit up a Taco Bell and although their veggie quesadilla or whatever I had wasn't too bad in its ingredients, it still retains much of the fast food physical damage and distress. The portions are pathetic also.

Have wondered just how Mexican Tortilla's offerings are, i suspect it's just a very random Western take on it. Disappointing that they got rid of their coriander rice recently.

Probably not at all Mexican, but it's protein + veg in a decent sized hot wrap with actual flavour available for less than a tenner, I'm not sure such a thing is otherwise available in this country.

[niko_cee]

Kebab.

[Pepe]

Have wondered just how Mexican Tortilla's offerings are

The first time I ate a burrito was in the US. I occasionally eat in Chipotle (which from the description, seems to be the same thing) and it is decent. Can never go wrong with rice + beans + meat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Speaking of Mexican food.

I was at a food hall in Warsaw a few days ago. I went for Greek but it wasn't enough so I went to the Mexican stand for some Al Pastor tacos.

What I was served was absolute horseshit.

Flour tortillas (why no corn ffs?) that were toasted far too much so they were crispy, the meat had almost no flavour, there were boiled onions on the taco, crushed peanuts as well which was weird and the salsa verde was far too sweet with not enough heat.

The only thing I could taste was lime juice having put 3/4 drops on each taco myself. It felt like they had never tasted Mexican food but had seen it on TV once before.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That does surprise me actually as there's a huge Mexican community in Lodz, noted around Europe for their culinary flair. You should see the place on the Day of the Dead, it's like being in Cancún. When the communists got kicked out in 1989, they had a massive Solidarity rally (or 'Solidaridad' as they call it there) and cooked a 100 foot taco in the shape of Walesa's moustache.

[Pepe]

I've never had a good taco al pastor outside Mexico and even within Mexico most are shit.

[Lofty]

We still put gravy on chips marra, it's going to be a while.

True marras have jam sandwiches for lunch eh

[Foe]

Getting into full countdown mode now for Xmas holidays.

Unfortunately failed to respond to the Xmas party invitation quickly enough and it’s fully booked :cab:

[Ben]

True marras have jam sandwiches for lunch eh

Peanut butter and jam. :drool:

Peanut butter and Marmite. :drool::drool:

[Giggles]

Jam and cheese :cool:

[-james-]

That does surprise me actually as there's a huge Mexican community in Lodz, noted around Europe for their culinary flair. You should see the place on the Day of the Dead, it's like being in Cancún. When the communists got kicked out in 1989, they had a massive Solidarity rally (or 'Solidaridad' as they call it there) and cooked a 100 foot taco in the shape of Walesa's moustache.

Bizarrely the best sushi I've ever had was in Krakow.

I've never had great mexican food full stop. Big fan of cheese, chilies, beans, slop, wraps etc. but I've never found it to be more than the sum of its parts.

[Shindig]

As an uncultured swine I'll say I once had a nice Quesadilla from a food truck in Chrissy Field. That's the extent of my Mexican food experience.

[Lewis]

Taz big manning his anti-consumerism all over the forum; meanwhile, irl, he's dropping twenty-odd quid a week on fast food for his little zogslop loyalty points. Reeling.

[Don]

My man, where corners aren't cut is food. And as I say, £8.70 a meal (supplemented by about £5 of Lidl nuts and fruit) is still top value such is the ridiculous nature of food prices. A Pho lunch sets me back £18.50 for one meal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bizarrely the best sushi I've ever had was in Krakow.

I've never had great mexican food full stop. Big fan of cheese, chilies, beans, slop, wraps etc. but I've never found it to be more than the sum of its parts.

Poland in general does have good Sushi but for some reason they like putting fruit on sushi, especially strawberries.

[Waffdon]

3 weeks in a row with 4 days (including this week) followed by a 5 day week and then off until 8th January. :drool:

[Baz]

Meanwhile, having an assistant has turned into having my own personal hypeman.

It does feel like dangerous territory but ah well, it makes my day on Teams more enjoyable.

[Shindig]

"Baz! Baz! He's our man. If he can't do it ... I'll have to. :moop:"

I regularly get the last hour of the day now to do nowt. I can thank the new starters (and their obscene productivity) for that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meanwhile, having an assistant has turned into having my own personal hypeman.

Needless to say, I read this as 'hymen'.