The All New Jobs Thread

[Shindig]

Aye, as soon as I get into houses, cars and kids, any spare money will vanish.

[Smjffy]

I was on £22K in my last position which is about £4-6K more a year than I got working in care. Bizarrely the position I start at the beginning of January beats that as I'll be on £24K. If I can learn enough and gain enough experience to make a sous chef then I think that's roughly £28K and then in years to come a head chef position if I continue being interested and capable. It's nice to earn decent money for a change (by my standards) but at the same time it is a little galling that you get paid more to cook food than you do taking care of people with challenging behaviours and complex minds.

[phonics]

I’ve gone from around 17k to with this promotion 70k over the last 4 years.

[Smjffy]

Pretty impressive to be fair. TTH's highest earner? I wonder who's the lowest and what region their from.

[Kikó]

I'd imagine one of the older bastards like Yev will be on the most.

[phonics]

Yeah but factor in that my standard of living costs are 2-3x of the UK.

[Spikey M]

SvN must do pretty well.

[SvN]

My base is £61k, but I also take dividends that vary depending on how successful we were. This year I took £10k (which was wiped out by paying stamp duty on the new house), last year was £25k.

My pay won't increase for a good few years now, though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm on 27.5k, which given my markets closed on £1.4 million of sales at a 46% margin this year I think represents a fairly shite deal (only my manager gets any kind of commission).

I can pay a mortgage on it and don't have an extravagant lifestyle, so meh. I am also going into full time cricket umpiring next year which will be a quiet extra 1.5k on the side, tax free, for basically standing in a field enjoying myself.

[Giggles]

I’m in the 50’s but it’s Euros and it doesn’t go far here at all. The free car and all associated costs adds on a bit too.

[mo]

Given I've made pay progression every year (met the targets I was set in order to move up a pay point) for the five and a bit years I've been teaching, I'm now on £35k, which is the top of the main pay scale for teachers outside London. If I want to move on further (to the Upper Pay Scale) I have to provide two years worth of evidence of my "wider contribution to school life", like running in-house training sessions.

Edit: Factor in child care after mortgage, bills etc and there's not a lot left over.

[Foe]

Im on a base of 60ishk but there's normally a pretty decent bonus, flexible allowances and some quality share schemes. I work in a pretty lucrative industry tbf (though less so that it used to be, if I start 2-3 years earlier I'd be loaded). Aberdeen is way cheaper to live in these days too.

Considering my platform churns out $2million of oil a day I don't feel too bad about that. My living expenses these days are basically council tax and tv sport subscription so it just doesn't matter too much.

[randomlegend]

I'm on £43k pro rata for next four month. Probably a bit more for the four months after that, and less for the final four months of the year.

Then I'll be locuming for 8 months and rolling in it.

[Raoul Duke]

I'm on £92k + up to 10% bonus, working in tech in London with around 10 years experience.

I live in one of the most expensive areas of the UK though.

[Magic]

What are the plans big man?

Not sure mate. Going to take wean on holiday next year. Might get a TV that actually works and doesn't have a shadow on it. Need a new boiler. Some home improvements. Maybe some city breaks with the dating partner, but the wage disparity is real so...

[Magic]

I've been paid £43,000 this FY, with another 3 months to go. So worst I can get is £50,000.

[Giggles]

Don’t get her used to too much if you’re in for the long haul.

[Foe]

I'm on £92k + up to 10% bonus, working in tech in London with around 10 years experience.

I live in one of the most expensive areas of the UK though.


Ooft. :thbup:

Even living in an expensive area, that’s class. If your partner works as well, golden.

[Giggles]

What’s most impressive is that he’s so humble you’d never know...

[mugbull]

Are we doing highest earnings? :D

Don't forget (until June) I lived in the Bay Area

[Shindig]

£19k. If I was on the DWP side of things, I'd probably be on an extra £5k. Otherwise, gaining £5k in 4 years has been a decent result. Largely due to that one year the union got lucky. I could push it to £20k if I really gave a shit about overtime. It's always on and it's all double-time.

[Smjffy]

TTH Financials would be a decent thread. We can see who was born with a silver spoon and who went the hard route.

Didn't Jimmy go to a private school?

[Lewis]

TTH Sob Story.

[Smjffy]

That's the Play Your Heart Out thread, no?

[Jimmy Floyd]

TTH Financials would be a decent thread. We can see who was born with a silver spoon and who went the hard route.

Didn't Jimmy go to a private school?

I did.

Someone in my year killed himself, so at least I'm one up on him.

[Smjffy]

It wasn't a stab, I just thought £27.5K is on the low scale for someone with an education is all and you live down south.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we're giving me an xSalary at my age based on education and region then I'm well under it, but life is more complicated than that, and is also not a race.

[Smjffy]

Aren't you in your mid 30's? :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Thirty-one, but like I said, not a race.

[Spikey M]

I'm just glad he's not having a dig.

[mugbull]

Smiffy can’t help but be a tool, but his xTool is also quite high so it’s expected

[SvN]

And if Jimmy has a go back, he'll end up messaging the admins demanding that we help him.

[Shindig]

Then he'll leave and come back as Sm1ff7, rather than just resume posting under his old account.

[-james-]

£40k. Down from £70k in 2017 though lel.

In the pocket that is.

[Giggles]

£40k. Down from £70k in 2017 though lel.

In the pocket that is.

How does that happen? Made redundant?

[Smjffy]

Thirty-one, but like I said, not a race.

Different perceptions and all that. I hit 35 next month and I feel I have so much lost time to make up as in the grand scheme of things I've done fuck all compared to others I know my age. It doesn't help there's a huge gap of a few years whereby life got the better of me. I do feel like a failure sometimes but then I also think of my history and how I keep bouncing back and trying harder. I feel it's a race now because I don't think I have more than 20 years left. :D

Time to go chill for the remainder of the day though as I already know how this evening will pan out once the lynch mob emerge. Have a good evening all.

[John]

How does that happen? Made redundant?

He's a professional gambler.

[Spikey M]

Starts of calling someone a failure for not earning more than they do, ends up declaring himself the victim for being called on it. Who do you support again Smiff?

[Jimmy Floyd]

You have to be able to take the pressure off yourself. If I sat around worrying that people I was at school with take home six times my wage I would be a wreck. I actually was a wreck from the ages of about 16-26 whilst beating myself up about the various reasons I did not fit in with many such people. Once you start viewing life on your own terms it becomes an awful lot easier.

[Giggles]

He's a professional gambler.

Ah right. Wasn’t that Simon goon one too?

Impressive money to be pulling all the same for something like that.

[SvN]

One of the most successful people I know was working minimum wage at John Lewis into his thirties. He's mid 40s now and recently sold his stake in a company for £9million.

Jimmy is absolutely spot on when he says it's not a race. Smiffy is just too thick to understand what that actually means.

[mugbull]

You have to be able to take the pressure off yourself. If I sat around worrying that people I was at school with take home six times my wage I would be a wreck. I actually was a wreck from the ages of about 16-26 whilst beating myself up about the various reasons I did not fit in with many such people. Once you start viewing life on your own terms it becomes an awful lot easier.

Honestly you’re a lot better a person than 7 years ago or so, from my perspective at least. You used to be Lewis crossed with John in terms of personality but you seem now like someone who’d be easy to get along with

[John]

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Nah, I've long established you're a bunch of useless cunts who merely jump on a bandwagon. I'm completely at ease with who/how I am. There's very few on here who get as much of a hard time as I do despite my former mental state being well documented. In the end you just say fuck it, be the better person and give up.

You mean the account I repeatedly requested access too? The one that got banned because of the assumption that Harold had it? That one?

It's all words, chaps. I just don't see the need to be so hostile and aggressive as a few of you seem to be but as I say, I'll be the bigger man and do my best not to respond which is all you're after. Personally, other than my occasional confused views about football, I don't see what's so bad about me because when the shoe is on the other foot, I have repeatedly tried to help others as opposed to try and push them over the edge.

It is what it is.

You unbelievable arsehole. You kicked off in this thread giving Jimmy grief about not earning more than he does because he went to private school, and now that someone has correctly called you on it, and correctly predicted exactly what you'd do, you're trying to claim victimhood and flouncing off for the night to prevent some imaginary dogpile. You do get more shit than most, but that's because you dish out more shit than most and it's nobody's problem but your own if you're too thick to know what you're doing. You're always claiming you don't want special treatment, but the minute someone calls you a twat you invoke your mental struggles and start bleating as though this whole board is nothing more than a support group that's failing in its duty of care to you. And the irony is you have been given more latitude than anyone else in the history of this board because there was clearly an underlying reason for all the dickery, but you're too big an entitled shithouse to realise it and no amount of help or leeway is ever enough.

Just prior to your old account being banned you told us that you'd reported the board as a whole and the mods individually to the police, complete with screenshots, as well as reporting us to vBulletin for running on a less than legit version of the software at the time. Now I suspect you were full of shit and did none of that, but you never admitted as much and yet here you are, posting away with a clean slate and claiming to be hard done by. You can fuck right off with that.

[Smjffy]

Where have I called Jimmy a failure? Stop being silly.

[Smjffy]

Starts of calling someone a failure for not earning more than they do, ends up declaring himself the victim for being called on it. Who do you support again Smiff?

Where did I call Jimmy a failure? I just naturally assumed a well educated individual living down south would be earning more than 27K.

How odd that the general consensus is that I was attacking Floyd.

[SvN]

Yes, how odd that everyone apart from you sees it that way. I wonder what that means.

[Shindig]

You have to be able to take the pressure off yourself. If I sat around worrying that people I was at school with take home six times my wage I would be a wreck. I actually was a wreck from the ages of about 16-26 whilst beating myself up about the various reasons I did not fit in with many such people. Once you start viewing life on your own terms it becomes an awful lot easier.

Yup. If I got worried about the chase for income, I'd be caning the overtime each week. All I want is to be comfortable and I've been comfy for the past six years.

[Smjffy]

[QUOTE=John;371198blah blah.[/QUOTE]

You don't have chat some rubbish. You're the worst on here and have been for years. You're a sad bitter person but you've been like that for donkeys years. Strange post.

[Smjffy]

You have to be able to take the pressure off yourself. If I sat around worrying that people I was at school with take home six times my wage I would be a wreck. I actually was a wreck from the ages of about 16-26 whilst beating myself up about the various reasons I did not fit in with many such people. Once you start viewing life on your own terms it becomes an awful lot easier.

I understand that and I can see how it ends up being a form of self sabotage. I also think it's partly why I've got more of a handle on things. Most my brothers and sisters are so far ahead of where I am and so it's like even big steps for me over the years were viewed as nothing but to me they were. That's what I mean about being a race, I feel now I've got to grips with my mental state more that I need to make up for lost time.

Of course it's not about earnings as I'd rather earn little and be happy in what I do with a nice balce of work/personal life. I'd also never assume you were a wreck as you've always seemed on the ball to me.

I suppose it shows you don't know someone other than their username.

[Shindig]

For the record, I don't think it was grief. I read it as Smiffy making a daft connection between public schooling and income. Daft, not malicious.

[Smjffy]

Yes, how odd that everyone apart from you sees it that way. I wonder what that means.

Well clearly it means I worded it poorly but as I said, I just assumed Jimmy was someone who's had his shit together for years. Like I said, it's nothing to do with what he earns so if it came across like that then I can only apologise to Jimmy as it wasn't intended that way.

[Smjffy]

For the record, I don't think it was grief. I read it as Smiffy making a daft connection between public schooling and income. Daft, not malicious.

Not even that. I just assumed Jimmy was one of those who had a high level job, well educated and living down south. Kind of like Kiko minus the manc and private schooling.

[Lewis]

'Can you give us that name again, please, Mr Smith?'
'It's just "John", but if it helps he lives in Glasgow in real life.'

[John]

Well clearly it means I worded it poorly but as I said, I just assumed Jimmy was someone who's had his shit together for years. Like I said, it's nothing to do with what he earns so if it came across like that then I can only apologise to Jimmy as it wasn't intended that way.

Yep, clearly nothing to do with what he earns.


TTH Financials would be a decent thread. We can see who was born with a silver spoon and who went the hard route.

Didn't Jimmy go to a private school?

[Smjffy]

John you can assume whatever you please. I know I didn't intend for it to come across as an attack. More tongue in cheek than anything but whatever.

[Shindig]

Jimmy's had big employers (The Met, Korean Electronic Giant of Mystery, Tinker Tractors) but his roles have been relatively modest.

[Spikey M]

For what it's worth, I'm earning more than I ever have and I'm the most miserable I've ever been (professionaly). Jimmy has his head screwed on.

[Giggles]

For what it's worth, I'm earning more than I ever have and I'm the most miserable I've ever been (professionaly). Jimmy has his head screwed on.

You’re not supposed to like work though. That’s why it’s work.

[Kikó]

I think you can find a job that makes you content. I do like my job but it helps that my colleagues are good people.

[Spikey M]

Fair. But detesting it is a step too far. I'll be changing jobs again as soon as I get my new holiday allowance so that I can go to interviews.

[Giggles]

Fair. But detesting it is a step too far. I'll be changing jobs again as soon as I get my new holiday allowance so that I can go to interviews.

I’ve came to terms with the fact I’ll hate anything in my field so all I can do is get a working pattern that suits and work as alone as possible. I’ll jump around every few years to achieve that as required.
I haven’t mad long left working anyway so it’s not that bad.

[Spikey M]

I think you can find a job that makes you content. I do like my job but it helps that my colleagues are good people.

This is it. The management team at my place are a disgrace. Far from being the motivational types, they seem to relish the opportunity to call people on minor matters. Usually publicly. I can't abide the place or it's toxic atmosphere.

[Kikó]

This is it. The management team at my place are a disgrace. Far from being the motivational types, they seem to relish the opportunity to call people on minor matters. Usually publicly. I can't abide the place or it's toxic atmosphere.

My wife left her last place for that reason. Horrible, toxic and bullying. And she wasn't paid that much to make it worth the aggro.

[Smjffy]

This is it. The management team at my place are a disgrace. Far from being the motivational types, they seem to relish the opportunity to call people on minor matters. Usually publicly. I can't abide the place or it's toxic atmosphere.

This is why I've just left my last place of employment tbh. I'm all for being called out if you've made a mistake but there's a manner in which to go about it. I can ignore the bitching behaviours of colleagues until they start bitching about me because I'll always respond.

It's both a good and bad trait though depending on hierarchy.

[Raoul Duke]

You have to be able to take the pressure off yourself. If I sat around worrying that people I was at school with take home six times my wage I would be a wreck. I actually was a wreck from the ages of about 16-26 whilst beating myself up about the various reasons I did not fit in with many such people. Once you start viewing life on your own terms it becomes an awful lot easier.

Getting old is :drool:

[Pepe]

Apart from having to listen to the 'artsci' crew once in a while, my job is easy as fuck.

EDIT: I reckon that when/if I get tenure and don't have to pretend to do research anymore, it will even be enjoyable.

[igor_balis]

mugbull forever Smjffy never

[Baz]

'Can you give us that name again, please, Mr Smith?'
'It's just "John", but if it helps he lives in Glasgow in real life.'
He can have my spreadsheet for 10% of Raoul Duke’s salary.

[Andy]

I'm on £92k + up to 10% bonus, working in tech in London with around 10 years experience.

I live in one of the most expensive areas of the UK though.

My wife commutes in from Southampton 3 days a week and works from home twice. It's a nice mix as house prices and cost of living is more lower here and the commute isn't too terrible. I think on our combined earnings we would struggle to buy a house in London, where as here we are looking at 4 bed detached in the nicest areas.

I think we may end up moving somewhere closer to London in the next few years though, not sure where exactly but possibly Reading or Guildford. Luckily I can work more or less anywhere and potentially earn more as I get closer to London.

[SvN]

Winchester is lovely and only 58 minutes to Waterloo.

[Magic]

Don’t get her used to too much if you’re in for the long haul.

Oh yeah I'm only paying for me. So I'm just holding back. However I've inspired her to get a better paid job which she starts in Jan so good times ahead. So she's got her own beauty business and teaches now too. How cool is that. I didn't ready inspire her but fair fucks to her for going for it.

[randomlegend]

Consultants at work bought all the juniors a £15 Amazon gift card each, which was pretty nice of them. There's like 20+ of us.

[Mellberg]

On the last page, I've gone from just over 50k on Friday to a grand total of £0 as of yesterday. Offered voluntary redundancy and took it. Free money. On the job hunt from 2nd Jan.

[phonics]

In Switzerland we get 75% of our monthly wage for 18 months after being laid off.

[Mellberg]

Voluntary. If you're still elligible for that after chosing to leave then we should all move to Switzerland.

[Shindig]

Nah. They don't have a Greggs.

[phonics]

Voluntary. If you're still elligible for that after chosing to leave then we should all move to Switzerland.

Yeah, you get it whether you quit or get sacked. We just don’t have an ongoing unemployment benefit so after 18 months if you still want money you have to join the jobs program and they put you to work doing community service earning around 1.5k a month.

It is compulsory for all employees in Switzerland to pay into an unemployment fund: thus you will have enough money to tide you over if you unexpectedly find yourself out of work.

You won’t only receive unemployment benefits if you have completely lost your job. If you’ve had a significant reduction of hours, you could also be entitled to a little bit of extra help.

You can expect to receive roughly 70% of your original salary from unemployment benefits, up to a maximum of 10,500 CHF per month.

[Mellberg]

Decent.

Ah well. 30k will have to do.

[Manc]

Job interview tommorrow. Far from hyped.

[mo]

:cab: who interviews two days before Christmas?

[Shindig]

Business does not stop.

[Manc]

I'm led to believe they'll be interviewing on Christmas eve also. I'm hoping to capitalise on such desperation.

[Lewis]

It's a corner shop.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We closed for business from Friday until the 6th but we're still going in on four of those days to help move stock around. True and complete misery and probably a tactical error as I hear there is widespread unhappiness about this year's crap payrises and bitching will take place in dark corners. We even had the big boss come into the office the other day and go on the defensive about pay being linked to company results, which is thoroughly unprecedented.

[Ian]

This shift is fucking dragging.

I feel like I've been here at least 17 hours so far.

At least one of the managers brought in doughnuts from Tantrum. The creme brulee one. :drool:

[mo]

I'm led to believe they'll be interviewing on Christmas eve also. I'm hoping to capitalise on such desperation.

Dare I ask how it went?

[SvN]

I think we're gonna go to the pub at around 1pm for a pint and then finish for the day. I've got shit I need to get done at home, so that is partially motivating the early finish.

[Giggles]

The boss gave everyone today off after a good few at the Christmas party apparently so that’s saved me a days holidays.

[Kikó]

I've been guiding one of the India guys on how to do the routine stuff I'm handing over for the past two hours and now I'm done until boxing day. Be half logging in then really - mainly watch football and be fat all day.

[randomlegend]

I'm in 1-9 today and 8-1 tomorrow. Whoo.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My boss went to Tel Aviv for, well, presumably not for Christmas as such, so we got let out at 12. Would never happen if he was here.

He sent us all an email to tell us all about his upcoming safari holiday just after universal 2% payrises have sent morale crashing from high to rock bottom. At 80 he is too old and needs to go.

[Ian]

Job I was in about six years ago when morale was at its lowest ebb our MD emailed is what was effectively him saying "Have you tried being more motivated?"

Thanks gaffer, never thought of that.

[Spikey M]

It is utterly pointless being here today. There's only 3 of us in and we're still sat twiddling with our thumbs.

Leaving at 3 thankfully.

[Foe]

At least you're having a thumb war competition to pass the time. :thbup:

Can imagine working these sorts of days and the time between Xmas and new year in an office job being extremely cushy. The guy in my team told me he'd turn up for half the day then "work from home" so he could drink and play Xbox. Nobody will be about to be able to know or care.

[Manc]

Dare I ask how it went?

Better than anticipated.

[Shindig]

Easy peasy. Barely any work in and I was out by 3.

[Spikey M]

I got approached by one of the Senior Housing Officers today, telling me they've a vacancy coming out in the new year and my application would be looked upon favourably. In an ideal world I want out of the organisation all together, but I'd take a move out of my current office for now. I might even like it.

That said, a guy that has been at my place for 7 years over heard and said he was going to apply, so his experience will probably blow me out of the water anyway.

[Giggles]

The fact he had to overhear it and wasn’t told directly hopefully means they think he’s a dickhead.

[Spikey M]

He's a good (Irish, actually) lad. He's just had enough of the same shit I have. I wouldn't begrudge him it if he got it. I think they probably just think he can't be poached because he's never applied for any of the previous vacancies in there.

[Manc sean]

...more lower here and the commute isn't too terrible.


You're fucking joking aren't you? Transport links to the southwest - especially trains - are shite.

2 hours from Portsmouth to London - I can do Manc-London in that time.

[Lewis]

There are ninety minute trains every hour, and twenty minutes of that seems to be trundling through London, so the trains aren't too bad. The roads are worse, especially going North via the Midlands and getting bottle-necked on the shithouse A34.

[Spikey M]

Can we all just take a minute to lol at RL being at work?

[Shindig]

I think we can let him off for that. The NHS can't really stop.

[Lewis]

:lol:

[Giggles]

I love the meltdown people have about shops opening tomorrow. Twitter is great entertainment on the 26th.

[Ian]

I'm getting paid for morning drinking just now.

Unless some twat actually phones up later but let's cross that bridge when I drunkenly come to it.

[Lewis]

I love the meltdown people have about shops opening tomorrow. Twitter is great entertainment on the 26th.

Look at these (https://twitter.com/AndyMitten/status/1209758417042182144) mentalists already queuing. :cab:

[Giggles]

:lol:

[Spikey M]

:rosebud:

[Kikó]

Oh Lewis ffs.

[igor_balis]

Look at these (https://twitter.com/AndyMitten/status/1209758417042182144) mentalists already queuing. :cab:

Oh my God :D you terrible man

[Lewis]

Not one person appears to have tweeted that joke to him. I could be a big noise on Twitter me, and then I could challenge James Felton and 'Technically Ron' to a charity scrap and annihilate them both.

[randomlegend]

Got sent home early and asked not to get pissed til the time my shift finished in case there was a train crash.

[Lewis]

Imagine if there was one now and he got the Christopher Jefferies treatment.

[Manc sean]

There are ninety minute trains every hour, and twenty minutes of that seems to be trundling through London, so the trains aren't too bad. The roads are worse, especially going North via the Midlands and getting bottle-necked on the shithouse A34.

Yes, all the transport links are shite. I used to think the a34 was the moody bit but it's all a shitfest apart from the m40 in my experience. Now the arseholes have naused the m27 for 10 miles with an average speed check zone which is another kick in the bollocks.

The only decent train they have is the direct one from the harbour into gatwick airport for when I've got to travel. Otherwise the train to london is slow, the first class is wank if you want to work and it then drops you at Waterloo and who the fuck wants to be at Waterloo?

[Lewis]

The A27 and A3 going the other way are wholly inadequate as well. I think they all like it like that though, the insular island monkey weirdos.

[Giggles]

I was caught in a fucker of a backlog on the A3 last week.

EDIT: Actually it was the M3. Near Winchester.

[Lewis]

I floated a meet when you were over, so thanks for letting me know. :nono:

[Giggles]

:lol: that would be tidy.

[Lewis]

SvN was going to stick it on his expenses as well.

[Andy]

You're fucking joking aren't you? Transport links to the southwest - especially trains - are shite.

2 hours from Portsmouth to London - I can do Manc-London in that time.

It's an hour and 10 minutes from Southampton.

Reading is less than 30 mins to Waterloo on the train, I imagine that will be even quicker once the Elizabeth line opens.

[Giggles]

SvN was going to stick it on his expenses as well.

Are you two near there? I thought you were in Hull.

It was Andover I was in. A place that I would have said was in Holland or Germany going on it’s name.

[Lewis]

I'm in Portsmouth these days unfortunately. What a missed opportunity.

[Manc sean]

Where abouts? I've spent the bulk of the last 3 and a bit years living in southsea through the week.

[Lewis]

I'm in Southsea, near Highland Road cemetery. You work on the base as well don't you?

[Giggles]

You can have a rumble then at least.

[Manc sean]

Yeah I work on the base. I had a top gaff on south parade until recently. Will probs rent a new place in the new year. Who you working for on the base? BAE? DIO?

[Lewis]

I work for Defence Business Services reviewing old rubbish for sensitivities before it goes out for public consumption. South Parade is a decent area. Do you drive in?

[Manc sean]

I'd walk a few times in the summer but generally yes I drive.

Are you working on the tender docs for the new facilities management gig that's on the horizon?

[Lewis]

We don't get anything that contemporary. I'm tentatively looking at flats around Southsea as part of my 'do something in 2020' thinking and parking is the problem. You can get something reasonably decent for not ridiculous money, but you're either battling to park on the street or not at all, and I'm fucked if I'm living in Cosham.

[Manc sean]

I got a parking permit from the council and parked in the pay and display spaces opposite the pyramids. Was a piece of piss.

I was paying £800 (CT and bills on top) for a 2 bed furnished apartment, 3rd floor with massive bay windows overlooking the solent. Top gaff. It was just me in there but pals would use it at the w/e if they brought their families down.

If you're getting somewhere you want to be overlooking the common and the sea. Although depends what you can afford I s'pose.

[Baz]

Why don’t you live together?

[Lewis]

I support City now and I like to have posters up.

[Ian]

Being in for one day between Christmas and then being properly off next week is a proper pain in the hole.

[Shindig]

Aye, I can't be arsed with today. The office will be mostly empty but that just means most of the calls will go to me. :moop:

[mo]

FWIW I improved the tag on this thread.

[Pepe]

Woke up at 9:30 so I guess I'll just skip work today.

[Shindig]

Our last shift of the year is moved forward an hour because there is the sum of fuck all in the queue. It's a nice gesture but if I'm still in the office at 7pm, I'll be fuming.

[Giggles]

Only two more days of freedom left :( :boydy:

[Spikey M]

Are you a) getting married or b) getting sentenced for something?

[niko_cee]

He's going back to work.

[randomlegend]

Can we all just take a minute to lol at RL being at work?

Got 9 days off, then 4 nights, then another 6 days off :drool:

Only uses like 4 days of annual leave :drool: :drool: :drool:

[Offshore Toon]

I'm off until Monday. I go back to London on Thursday evening but wanted to give myself a few days to get out of the habit of eating everything in sight.

[Giggles]

Are you a) getting married or b) getting sentenced for something?

What Niko said. I never really liked it but it’s just pure hate now. Dreading the thoughts of even getting stuff ready for it tomorrow.

[Giggles]

Fuck. This. Shite.

I hate post holidays small talk.

[Giggles]

I just got handed an absolute monster of a brisket :drool:

[randomlegend]

First set of nights start tonight. Eek.

[Shindig]

The new team is alright but I don't think the conversation's going to be as good. It's just something that happens when you're surrounded by women.

[Spikey M]

I need to get out of this place pronto. No wonder everyone tops themselves after Christmas.

[Ian]

I'm sure you're not that bad.

[Spikey M]

In might current mood I might be.

And I've just found out one of my tenants is involved in County Lines. There's currently a 'cuckoo' 20 years her junior (2 years older than her daughter) living there. Good stuff.

[Raoul Duke]

At my work, we have a team of four people in my team and a Director.

A - left just before Xmas
B - leaves next week
C - is going on maternity leave in two months
D - is me, and I have a job offer but am just negotiating salary. Once that's done I think I'm going to bail
E - (a cover replacement for C) started on Monday

The Director told us today that he's leaving :henn0rz:

Feel so sorry for E, but overall it's MEGALOLZ

[Spikey M]

I'll take all of the jobz you have going.

[Boydy]

At my work, we have a team of four people in my team and a Director.

A - left just before Xmas
B - leaves next week
C - is going on maternity leave in two months
D - is me, and I have a job offer but am just negotiating salary. Once that's done I think I'm going to bail
E - (a cover replacement for C) started on Monday

The Director told us today that he's leaving :henn0rz:

Feel so sorry for E, but overall it's MEGALOLZ

I thought you'd sorted your new job already? The Amsterdam one, right?

[Baz]

Whys everyone leaving/left?

[Raoul Duke]

I'll take all of the jobz you have going.

Ok, you start Monday.


I thought you'd sorted your new job already? The Amsterdam one, right?

It got held up by Xmas. Just waiting for their salary offer to come through - assuming that's good then will go ahead. But yeah, Amsterdam.


Whys everyone leaving/left?

A + B had been there a while and kinda reached the end of a cycle. It just so happened that they both are leaving within a short timeframe. Kinda the same for the Director too really.

I've just got an interesting offer, so will likely take it up. Have been there for a year and a half.

[Boydy]

What's the current place and what's the new place?

[Raoul Duke]

What's the current place and what's the new place?

Current place is a cosmetics company and the new place is a travel company.

[Boydy]

Booking.com? :eyemouth:

[Raoul Duke]

:sherlock:

[randomlegend]

God nights are fucking awful.

The first one wasn't too bad, but by about 5am on the second I was absolutely dead on my feet. I'm on 3 of 4 currently and feeling not too bad, courtesy of ten hours drug-cocktail induced sleep during the day.

[Lewis]

I nominated myself for an in-year reward before Christmas, and my line manager tried pushing it today, but apparently our overall manager blocked it because of how I 'conduct myself'. There is nothing work-related to complain about, because I do my work and then all of the shit that other departments send me; but apparently things like glazing over in meetings and then lolling out loud at 'e-mail-free Fridays' counts as not buying into the departmental way of doing things. This is Mark and Faggotgate all over again.

[Giggles]

How does a mechanism exist where you can nominate yourself for a reward?

[Ian]

I had almost exactly that at Vodafone. After a year where I'd scarcely taken a break, done my own work plus whatever managers shovelled at me and either done most of the training or trained folk on the job after they'd had an idiot doing it I was graded lower on my annual review for not "showing willing" which I took to mean "being corporate."

[Lewis]

How does a mechanism exist where you can nominate yourself for a reward?

One exists to nominate people you consider worthy. If nobody has thought to nominate themselves before then lol at them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How does email free Fridays work? Do you send people Morse code printouts instead?

[Manc]

Nominating yourself for an award. :harold:

[Lewis]

Look upon my initiative, ye mighty, and despair.

[Offshore Toon]

I had "you could act like you're happy to be here" in an otherwise exceptional review. I assume HR demands that managers must provide some form of negative feedback to help you continue your "development".

[Shindig]

I must've made £80 from awards at work by now. Training people means you're always a point of contact for some bombscare.

[Foe]

This the 'energise' system Lewis?

We've got that at my place and in the two years it's been about I must've seen about £2.5k worth of amazon vouchers.

[Foe]

On the jobs front, Im definitely moving roles this year. I did however spot a new job available this week which I'd heard rumoured. Near identical to the job I'm doing just for a bigger platform and it turns out it's a grade higher.

Told my boss I'd be an idiot not to apply for it and he is now shitting himself at the prospect of his entire team leaving at the same time.
Definitely won't get it, but I'm applying for it regardless.

Been doing some recon of people who might apply... there's not a lot of potential applicants. Might actually get an interview.

Colleague overheard my boss discussing it with the head of my discipline in the region after I'd left also, saying he was "surprised I'd come out the woodwork for it". Telling him to "fuck engineering" at last years Xmas party working well. :cool:

[Lewis]

This the 'energise' system Lewis?

We've got that at my place and in the two years it's been about I must've seen about £2.5k worth of amazon vouchers.

I don't know what it is. I got five-hundred quid onto my wages out of them last year, but it seemed like half of it went in tax and student loan costs, so I would rather have had the vouchers.

[randomlegend]

Nights have fucked me up good and proper. They are awful.

[mo]

The girlfriend of the lad at my school who died just before Christmas died this week. I'm rather grateful I don't know the 'how' for either; knowing they took their own lives is sobering enough.

[Spikey M]

'Kinell. :|

[Foe]

On the jobs front, Im definitely moving roles this year. I did however spot a new job available this week which I'd heard rumoured. Near identical to the job I'm doing just for a bigger platform and it turns out it's a grade higher.

Told my boss I'd be an idiot not to apply for it and he is now shitting himself at the prospect of his entire team leaving at the same time.
Definitely won't get it, but I'm applying for it regardless. Yeah

Been doing some recon of people who might apply... there's not a lot of potential applicants. Might actually get an interview.

Colleague overheard my boss discussing it with the head of my discipline in the region after I'd left also, saying he was "surprised I'd come out the woodwork for it". Telling him to "fuck engineering" at last years Xmas party working well. :cool:

Boss told me today I’d be wasting my time applying. Seemingly they are looking to hire an external candidate with a bit more experience. Legally that seems a bit shaky for me for an internally advertised job. I’ve printed off the job description and marked up that I meet the requirements bar charter ship, which I have ignored for the last few years because it’s not been important (might be now :moop:).

Going to apply tomorrow anyway. Fuck it.

[phonics]

Signed my promotional contract today. I'm making an extra 12-13 grand a year not including pension etc. Genuinely life changing amount, time to plan out something savings wise long term.

[Giggles]

Signed my promotional contract today. I'm making an extra 12-13 grand a year not including pension etc. Genuinely life changing amount, time to plan out something savings wise long term.

You’re going to snort it aren’t you?

[phonics]

Nah, even in those months when I was massively over-doing it I came out with a balance at the end of the month.

[Shindig]

Which goes on trainers.

[Danny]

Congrats Phonics :thbup:

[Lewis]

I'm getting sent up to the arse-arse-end of Scotland in mid-February, and in return for flying up on the Sunday I get two days extra leave(!). Unfortunately, I have loads of leave left over as it is, so I would rather have had the Sunday. Thank you for your service.

[Foe]

Boss told me today I’d be wasting my time applying. Seemingly they are looking to hire an external candidate with a bit more experience. Legally that seems a bit shaky for me for an internally advertised job. I’ve printed off the job description and marked up that I meet the requirements bar charter ship, which I have ignored for the last few years because it’s not been important (might be now :moop:).

Going to apply tomorrow anyway. Fuck it.

Applied on Tuesday (which is what I thought the deadline was) as it expires 15th (I assumed at midnight on the 14th).

Today my boss gave me an absolute bollocking for “applying without permission” and that he was pissed off. His tone was pretty aggressive too. He was absolutely raging. Accused me of applying and effectively lying on the form “ticking that I had line manager approval to apply”. I bit my tongue, apologised and left. I was absolutely raging, didn’t think he was right and I didn’t need approval as I’d been in role more than two years (he told me I was wrong, it was three).

Checked when I got home:
1. My contract, signed 2.5 years ago. States I will not considered for other roles without line manager consent within 2 years.
2. The application process asks whether I have “informed my line manager of this application”, not got permission to apply. (Which I did, as above).

Going to speak to a senior engineer in another area of the business on how to approach a conversation with my boss and then talk to him about. Basically he abused the shit out of me with no substance. Concerned he will either hold it against me, factor it wrongly in my performance review scoring or complain (wrongly) to others in the business - his temp boss is a senior leader in the job I’ve applied for.

I want it to be a calm, sensible discussion where I can show that I didn’t intent to disrespect him and haven’t done anything wrong.

If he gives me any grief at all, I’m leaving the office and going home but speaking to HR on the way out. He’s clearly stressed but he can’t flip out on me like that (he did it before Xmas too and actually apologies as he realised he was stressed and took it out on me).

Thoughts?

[Giggles]

Bring someone with you.

[Lewis]

I'll come with you if you can wait a month. I'm not shaving my head though.

[phonics]

Been offered a job with the Panama papers people. Less money, risk of getting car bombed but could be fun.

[Shindig]

Do you drive? Problem solved.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/4016756/mum-b-and-q-blue-cabinet-peels/

Mongs.

[Giggles]

It’s like buying two.

[Spikey M]

:lol: fucking hell.

[Baz]

Whys that in the jobs thread?

[Shindig]

Congratulations on your job at B&Q, Mahow.

[Smjffy]

Started my new job at the beginning of the year and have hammered the hours where I can but I've made an absolute cock up in that way more stuff is store bought or frozen than I am happy with so I figured I'd give it two months to get myself settled locally then look for something else. I don't mind the chaps that I work with but there's so little passion or interest from any of them that it's really frustrating. I expected way much more after my trial but unfortunately it's all a bit shit. Sad times.

I'm toying with the idea of finding a new career but given my lack of skills I'm unsure as to what so perhaps working part time and finding something I can work towards are the way forward, I think. It's so demoralising though as I thought I found a good place where I would be able to progress and learn more but how much can one learn when you bang so much stuff in a microwave. :cry:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Whys that in the jobs thread?

Because I'm a mong who can't read.

[Shindig]

Retirement watch will be fun this year. 3 are definitely going with a 4th trying for medical retirement and a couple on long-term sick leave.

[John]

Started my new job at the beginning of the year and have hammered the hours where I can but I've made an absolute cock up in that way more stuff is store bought or frozen than I am happy with so I figured I'd give it two months to get myself settled locally then look for something else. I don't mind the chaps that I work with but there's so little passion or interest from any of them that it's really frustrating. I expected way much more after my trial but unfortunately it's all a bit shit. Sad times.

I'm toying with the idea of finding a new career but given my lack of skills I'm unsure as to what so perhaps working part time and finding something I can work towards are the way forward, I think. It's so demoralising though as I thought I found a good place where I would be able to progress and learn more but how much can one learn when you bang so much stuff in a microwave. :cry:

Wasn't your new job something where you had a bit more control over the output? Why not stick around and steer things in the direction you'd prefer rather than just looking for the door because things aren't exactly to your liking right away?

If you like working in a kitchen and want to learn more then go part time where you are if possible and go to college for a food prep course or something. If the interest is there on your end you'll get there, and better that than bouncing around different fields until the perfect job falls in your lap.

[Smjffy]

Mostly because it's soul destroying. I've only been there two weeks and it genuinely feels like I've been there a life time already. 12-10pm isn't all too bad in chefs world but it drags and drags until maybe 6pm when you get people coming in after work and that's where it goes to shit too. I'm no food snob but I do think if people are paying decent money for it then the least you can do is put some heart into what you're doing. Other examples being I went to make a tomato sauce for pizza's only to discover it's bought in, I went to find peas so I could let them soak for the day so I could make mushy's only to discover they are tinned and bought in. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say in the two weeks I've been there I've probably made a carbonara sauce and that's about it. I'm going to give it another two weeks and then I think I'll be forced to find something more fitting or seek a different line of work.

I was tempted to go to a cooking school as it happens but then I was getting told by chefs that it would be pretty pointless now as although I'd gain certain skills, it's quite expensive given I'll learn much more on the job. My other idea was sticking it out for as long as I can to get some funds behind me then try and create my own product and go the e-commerce route whereby I try to package it and sell it but I'm a dumb fuck at the best of times so that'll probably lead to delusions of grandeur.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You might as well walk tbh.

A kitchen set in their ways like that is only going to bring you down.

[mo]

Considering going for a job at a school I used to work at before I was a teacher. They've been through heaps of change and were part of a town-wide lambasting from Ofsted a few years ago, but the names on the staff list look pretty familiar, which is unusual given it's been nearly ten years and all the upheaval. There's also another role potentially attached to it which would be pretty interesting, overseeing the trainees and NQTs. Going to message a few people who are still there and get their take on it.

[Smjffy]

You might as well walk tbh.

A kitchen set in their ways like that is only going to bring you down.

I did exactly this last night. I think as much as it would be nice to stay local, I'm going to take a week off then look for what's around down south again, save up and go to a culinary school then start again maybe unless I can stumble across something else that appeals in a different line of work.

I find it's more important for me to be happy with what I'm doing as opposed to just working for the sake of working.

[Spikey M]

I've seen less transient Pikeys than you.

[Smjffy]

There's nothing wrong with putting morale before a wage. I'd much rather be like myself than to be some poor sap stuck in a job they loathe as they have no alternative.

[Spikey M]

You're meant to be on JSA full time if you're going to be chucking lines like that about.

[Shindig]

I'd usually tell Smiffy just to stick with it but chef work is probably a shitshow if I you don't like the staff you work with.

[Smjffy]

I'd usually tell Smiffy just to stick with it but chef work is probably a shitshow if I you don't like the staff you work with.

It's one of the worst thing, I can put up with a lazy chef as you can always take on the work load but instilling a bit of passion or pride in someone is much harder.

I've had two chats thus far, one is in a nice rural area in Shropshire which comes with it's own flat, the other was in Barnet but it was with the intention of training me to be a Sous Chef and so I told the head chef straight off that that is a bit beyond me at this moment in time. I could learn on the job but that's half of my problem at the moment in that I'm still inexperienced in my mind and there's plenty that I don't know or can't do to a level I'm satisfied with.

The search goes on!

[Foe]

Boss told me today I’d be wasting my time applying. Seemingly they are looking to hire an external candidate with a bit more experience. Legally that seems a bit shaky for me for an internally advertised job. I’ve printed off the job description and marked up that I meet the requirements bar charter ship, which I have ignored for the last few years because it’s not been important (might be now :moop:).

Going to apply tomorrow anyway. Fuck it.

Rejected without an interview. Think I was the only internal applicant too. Asked for feedback on why I was rejected.

Not unexpected that I didn’t get the job given when I was told by my line manager but to not even get an interview despite already doing the job on a near identical platform is a bit demoralising.

[Giggles]

Rejected without an interview. Think I was the only internal applicant too. Asked for feedback on why I was rejected.

Not unexpected that I didn’t get the job given when I was told by my line manager but to not even get an interview despite already doing the job on a near identical platform is a bit demoralising.

Anything further happen with the boss man who was going mad about it?

[Foe]

Anything further happen with the boss man who was going mad about it?

I talked with him at the end of the following day after spending the entire day pissed off. Told him he had crossed the line with his tone and false accusations but reassured him that my intent was not to disrespect him nor leave his team ASAP. All sorted. Bit of a misunderstanding even if he did act the knob.

I told him I was worried he was stressed and overworked and that he needed to push back and/or ask for help because it was affecting his temperament.

[Baz]

Does anyone have the option of “remote working” aka working from home? I do now, since getting a work laptop rather than desktop PC. How do you motivate yourself to do work and not, well, anything else? :uhoh:

I’ve done like 45 mins work in about 3 hours. Meanwhile I’ve played WoW and had loads of tea.

[Mazuuurk]

Then you don't have enough to do and/or enough urgency about the things you do need to do. If something has to be done tomorrow, you'll do it.

[SvN]

Does anyone have the option of “remote working” aka working from home? I do now, since getting a work laptop rather than desktop PC. How do you motivate yourself to do work and not, well, anything else? :uhoh:

I’ve done like 45 mins work in about 3 hours. Meanwhile I’ve played WoW and had loads of tea.

It's not for everyone. I struggled for about a month and then got used to it, and managed to become productive.

[Giggles]

I only do it when I need good WiFi but I live 5 minutes from the office anyway.

[Ian]

I can work from home but don't like it at all for the very reason Baz mentions. And in turn because of the reason Maz mentions, I don't have enough to do.

But I didn't like.it at my old job when I was stupidly busy either.

[Shindig]

I could do without the DWP giving our number out to claimants. Again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wouldn't want to work from home, at least not at my current stage of life. I like getting up and heading out into the world, even if in my case 'the world' is always Chertsey.

If I was sat at home all day I'd end up making myself a futon of rice, or using Shreddies to remove the sleep from my eyelids, and end up fired or mad or both.

[Foe]

I tried to work from home first Friday of January. A mixture of very productive when you actually work because there’s no distraction of meetings and people, but very unproductive when you realise nobody is watching you in your trackers and a football shirt cleaning and watching Netflix.

[Manc]

Wanking and watching porn*

[Shindig]

There must be some people that get dressed for a day working from home. Or at least half dressed for a conference call.

[Boydy]

My old work used to have it in our contracts that we could do it two days a week. My current place doesn't have anything in the contract about it but we can do it now and again.

I'm still productive at home as I'm always paranoid they'll think I'm slacking off.

But I agree with Jim, I like getting up and heading out into the world. Living on my own now, I'd probably not speak to anyone all day when working from home. Plus everyone in my office now is sound and I like my work so I don't feel tired of the few dickheads like in the last place and want to avoid them for a day.

[Spikey M]

There must be some people that get dressed for a day working from home. Or at least half dressed for a conference call.

One of my wife's friends works for a cruise line. She had a Skype interview with them at stupid o'clock because they're based in America.

So, she got ready for bed from the waist down and ready for an interview from the waist up. Cue them asking her to stand to demonstrate something.

Hilarity ensues, she gets the job, I've heard the story 60 times and I hope the fucking boat sinks.

[Kikó]

Does anyone have the option of “remote working” aka working from home? I do now, since getting a work laptop rather than desktop PC. How do you motivate yourself to do work and not, well, anything else? :uhoh:

I’ve done like 45 mins work in about 3 hours. Meanwhile I’ve played WoW and had loads of tea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co_DNpTMKXk

Promotion confirmed today. Find out any monetary change in March but hopefully it'll be a payrise.

[Foe]

DNpTMKXk

Promotion confirmed today. Find out any monetary change in March but hopefully it'll be a payrise.

Nice one. Congrats keeks.

Good start to the weekend.

[Magic]

How can you be offered a promotion and not agree terms first?

[Magic]

Says the guy that changed careers and then got a pay cut lol.

[Kikó]

They're sort of independent (?) - so the corporate title has changed and then your boss will put in to try and get the most money from you. I heard there were a few promotions in other years which didn't have a pay rise associated with it...

[Spikey M]

That's a bloody good job there m8.

[Giggles]

In fairness I'd say if he tripped and fell in shite there'd be a winning lottery ticked stuck in it, so he'll get a rise.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

In fairness I'd say if he tripped and fell in shite there'd be a winning lottery ticked stuck in it, so he'll get a rise.

How do you reckon THE GROUP are re-acting to this joyous news?

[Giggles]

How do you reckon THE GROUP are re-acting to this joyous news?

GS has had his first wank.

[Kikó]

Promotion and brexit day? It's pretty joyous for him.

[Kikó]

In fairness I'd say if he tripped and fell in shite there'd be a winning lottery ticked stuck in it, so he'll get a rise.

This is a strange one, do you perceive me as some lucky sort?

[Giggles]

This is a strange one, do you perceive me as some lucky sort?

I’d imagine so anyway. Not that I’d begrudge you whatever luck you get though. Fair play to anyone shit is going well for.

[Giggles]

Promotion and brexit day? It's pretty joyous for him.

True enough. His balls are probably like raisins at this stage.

[Kikó]

Red white and blue.

[Giggles]

Black and blue at least.

[Spikey M]

There ain't no black in the Union Jack mate.

[Raoul Duke]

I'll be moving to Amsterdam in a few months to start a new job :holland:

[Shindig]

Our boss came in today very grumpy but did drop the bombshell that we may be in this for the long haul. I was looking forward to redundancy.

[Foe]

I'll be moving to Amsterdam in a few months to start a new job :holland:

Nice one. Congrats! Be quite an interesting place to life as a foreigner as imagine the language barrier isn’t really there much.

[Raoul Duke]

Nice one. Congrats! Be quite an interesting place to life as a foreigner as imagine the language barrier isn’t really there much.

Thanks. Yeah you don't really need it but I can get Dutch lessons though work. I'll try it a bit and see how it takes.

[Shindig]

I hear Dutch grammar is mad bullshit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Big companies, Championsleague, Apple, Amazon, I thought that one of them we would draw. And it is *wherever you now work*

[Ian]

Work has set us all up with LinkedIn Learning accounts and requested that we start with "Outlook 2016: Efficient Email Management."

All three hours and six minutes of it.

It's everything you'd expect it to be and less.

EDIT: The only thing to come from this video is that the person has pronounced the 'p' in 'excerpt', which I always thought was a silent p.

However upon Googling it to prove to myself how magnificently right I am pronunciation clips (including English ones) also pronounce the p and some linguistics forum that Google brought up had a thread full of people saying they don't treat it as a silent p.

Have I been living a lie?? I was going to moar fredz it but I thought that would be a bit dull even for me.

[Boydy]

Next you'll be saying you can't believe there's no 'x' in 'expresso'.

[mugbull]

Of course you're supposed to pronounce the p but the Scottish are so different that I'd expect them to not pronounce the r or the t and replace the whole cluster with an oi

[mugbull]

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/excerpt

You'll see in the pronunciation audio clip the speaker pronounces it so much he breaks the microphone

[Ian]

I'm not Scottish and had heard the word before I moved here.

[Giggles]

Work has set us all up with LinkedIn Learning accounts and requested that we start with "Outlook 2016: Efficient Email Management."

All three hours and six minutes of it.

It's everything you'd expect it to be and less.

EDIT: The only thing to come from this video is that the person has pronounced the 'p' in 'excerpt', which I always thought was a silent p.

However upon Googling it to prove to myself how magnificently right I am pronunciation clips (including English ones) also pronounce the p and some linguistics forum that Google brought up had a thread full of people saying they don't treat it as a silent p.

Have I been living a lie?? I was going to moar fredz it but I thought that would be a bit dull even for me.

More to the point, how the fuck can they drag 3 hours out of email management?

[Ian]

By rather than just going "Here's the screen where you filter some emails, the options are all pretty self explanatory" actually explaining what every sodding button does.

"Now, the SORT BY button...."