The All New Jobs Thread

[Lofty]

I have noticed I can't concentrate as well in the office now, if I want to get my head down and crack on I have to out my headphones in.

[Don]

I have noticed I can't concentrate as well in the office now, if I want to get my head down and crack on I have to out my headphones in.

My first day back at our [sexy new] offices too and this x1000.

New location of the office is fucking hideous though, Stratford is London's dubai.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Another one of my close colleagues chucked his notice in today. People I like are dropping like flies. I'm unsure as to whether all the departures will improve my bargaining position (as the person left with the most experience/knowledge by far) or make life a nightmare as I'll have to do everything.

The job still suits me at the moment as they've dangled this carrot of running South America when the 79 year old retires, and it's quite low stress for the most part, or at least that's the energy I take to it. I just wonder if the carrot's real and if the 79 year old ever will retire.

[Ian]

Yeah I was gonna say, you'll be there waiting when he's 103 and still somehow doing it.

We've had a bunch of people leave our team and I might join them to be honest. My job is fine but boring and I don't think there's a next job I want in this company so yeah.

Would mean leaving #teamengineer though, most likely.

[Lofty]

The odds they die before retiring improve with every passing second.

[Spikey M]

Yeah I was gonna say, you'll be there waiting when he's 103 and still somehow doing it.

We've had a bunch of people leave our team and I might join them to be honest. My job is fine but boring and I don't think there's a next job I want in this company so yeah.

Would mean leaving #teamengineer though, most likely.

You saw what happened to Magic when he left Team Engineer, you idiot. It's suicide.

[Lofty]

I am in a weird place where I have my desired hours/work life balance and like my manager, the work isn't constant stress - but I think it is a job where I will end up staying and just maxing out the top of the band if I want to stay in the department. It feels like the other routes for progression are more money for either a lot more stress or unsociable hours. Just a shame I am getting paid £20k+ less than everyone I deal with internally despite the role being integral to business operations.

There is a potential drama on the horizon where someone has moved from a higher paying role into our department suspiciously, and there has been little elaboration on this odd move. If they have been moved out of necessity instead of choice (medical etc) they will retain their wage which will cause a shitstorm.

[Ian]

You saw what happened to Magic when he left Team Engineer, you idiot. It's suicide.

If I start showing the symptoms (posting an endless stream of self-owns, an inclination toward wanking in waiting rooms, appear to have a picture of the rage meme where my frontal lobe should be) just send somebody round in the Van and have me euthanised like Geronimo.

[Shindig]

Our leavers are all usually down to retirement. It's mostly that kind of ageing workforce and, to be honest, it's an alright pay for people like me with no serious skills. Not that I don't have the inclination to skill up, I just think doing that here seems impossible. If they had us all back in the office, it'd be easier to shadow a manager.

[Kikó]

Did my second day in the office yesterday with the rest of the team. First time we've all been in the same room for 18 months. No headset so I couldn't take calls. Good to be back.

[Boydy]

Left my fucking keyboard in the office yesterday. Balls.

[Disco]

I'm gone from my place as soon as I find something that pays adequately.

[Spikey M]

Same. I'm struggling to keep up even the pretense of giving a shit at the moment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I do wonder sometimes if my 20 days holiday and OK-ish salary here amounts to a good deal, in exchange for leaving bang on 5 every day and it only being 20 minutes from my house. Probably doesn't.

I expect there will be a wave of people leaving their jobs and getting fresh starts post-pandemic, all over the country. We've all (well, most of us) survived the last two years but it's been miserable as sin, hasn't it.

[Disco]

That went long ago, my salary effectively goes down every year (no cost of living increases) so the amount of shits I give does the same.

[Foe]

My career is fucked and my line manager told me as much. “They really shouldn’t have placed you in [job] in two consecutive reorganisations.”

Effectively been told they won’t even consider me for a promotion unless I go do another, completely different, role and I’m not going to meet the “senior engineer” criteria without it. Also not allowed to apply for any roles until end of 2022.

Which is interesting, given the team I work for are telling me to support one platform and provide overview/verification for the other and the reason for that is that I’m a senior engineer. Erm… excuse me?

They are also trying to get me to take ownership of a gap in the organisation (more responsibility) as a development opportunity, despite the fact it’s basically doing my previous boss’ job (which now doesn’t exist and wasn’t thought to be included in this organisation design in error) which i did cover of for 3.5 years.

Motivation is low. In some respects it’s fine, it’s a pretty well paid job and I don’t really have that much accountability so if I treat it as such, it’s more palatable. Has decoupled performance from progression in my head though. Ultimately it’s made no difference for me, so probably not worth the effort.

[Ian]

They are also trying to get me to take ownership of a gap in the organisation (more responsibility) as a development opportunity

That's a no. I mean unless you'd rather do it than whatever you're doing now. Otherwise they're just trying to promote you for free and you're gaining nothing out of it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I recently read somewhere that the worst part of getting older is realising that your future opportunities, once almost innumerable, are now being cut off in front of your very eyes. Doesn't just apply to work, but it spooked me all the same.

[Foe]

Yeah, I sort of swung back as “my line manager says I need new development opportunities, that doesn’t sound any different to what I did before…?”

Ultimately they’re going to make me do it. It’s not a new job, just the same job with different expectations which boils down to the original point I made to them of “the job I’m doing here feels like a senior engineer job, why isn’t it?”.

Such a flat organisation that it’s going to be near impossible finding promotion opportunities anyway, so if my line manager has it in his head I’m a ways off then it’s not worth even thinking about. I either just do the job (on my terms as per original intent of the role) or I leave.

At least the bonus might be decent, but staff morale across the board is horrendous which is mental when oil is $80/bbl again.

[Spikey M]

I recently read somewhere that the worst part of getting older is realising that your future opportunities, once almost innumerable, are now being cut off in front of your very eyes. Doesn't just apply to work, but it spooked me all the same.

Being a parent allows you to have that experience even younger. As a kid I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I just fucked off to Uni and did a generic business degree. Now I work a generic office job and I'm so fucking bored.

I should have learnt a trade. I'd love to be my own boss and mooch about building / fixing / decorating shit. No chance now. Full time wage slave and fuck all freetime to learn anything.

[Yevrah]

I recently read somewhere that the worst part of getting older is realising that your future opportunities, once almost innumerable, are now being cut off in front of your very eyes. Doesn't just apply to work, but it spooked me all the same.

I am so thankful to the millennial lot for being soft as shite, we'd be utterly screwed if they weren't.

[Baz]

Does anyone else, even the Mahows of the world, wish they'd chosen PE as one of their "options" at school? With no plans for a career in it, but just cos it would have been a laugh?

IT and business studies, what was I thinking? Learned nothing I hadn't already taught myself in IT and business studies was, well, business studies. GCSE PE would have made my days at school miles better.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Does anyone else, even the Mahows of the world, wish they'd chosen PE as one of their "options" at school? With no plans for a career in it, but just cos it would have been a laugh?

IT and business studies, what was I thinking? Learned nothing I hadn't already taught myself in IT and business studies was, well, business studies. GCSE PE would have made my days at school miles better.
100%.

I actually loved PE and was decent at it. We also had Games at school which was with half of the school year and the sports were picked by seasons. It was shit and I never bothered with that though.

[Foe]

I had to decide in highers whether I wanted to do Maths or PE. Imagine telling a what, 15 year old, to pick whether they wanted to have a future or not.

That PE class would’ve been great too. all the no hopers smashing a football around a field. The PE teacher was a really fit brunette lady too :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was top of my year at Music and didn't take it any further. I can still hear the seething from one of the various gays that ran the music department as I sauntered off to History, never to be seen again.

Probably should have stuck with the marimbas.

[Ian]

I read that as "into History" which gives the whole a much more 'but I chose fame and fortune' vibe.

[Lewis]

I think what keeps me from not getting overly bored/frustrated with my job is the fact that I don't go to bed/wake up dreading it like everybody else I know does with theirs. I would like (and should be paid) more money, and I can probably screw some more out of it over the short-term; but even then if I wanted to stay in my area of interest I would have to move to Bristol or London, and they aren't going to pay me enough to make that worthwhile any time soon.

[Shindig]

Every day's a reset for me. I don't really get why people would be under pressure at my level.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If one more customer comes to me telling me their request for some washers worth £4.87 is VERY VERY URGENT, IMMEDIATE RESPONSE REQUIRED I might just start deleting things. Repeat after me: you - do - not - matter.

[SvN]

I have a client that puts pre-empts every email subject with "Urgent: ". I've had thousands of emails off her in the last 5 years, and I would say over 80% include it. Every now and then we even get an "URGENT: ", and I think there was even a "VERY URGENT: " once.

I can only assume she never heard the Boy Who Cried Wolf fable as a child.

[Lofty]

Do they not just use the high importance button on outlook?

[phonics]

Do they not just use the high importance button on outlook?

These people can get fucked. I’ll decide how highly important it is.

[Lofty]

I only use it when I am sending something that is time sensitive and the same day, usually to prevent train cancellations.

[mo]

In my new role (same school) I'm now part of the pastoral team for years 7&8. It's only now I appreciate how tightly controlled the information is about students that is given to teachers and form tutors, and why. Some of the shit I've read/heard about in the last four weeks alone has been incredible, and I'm at a school in a leafy Wiltshire market town - we don't have particularly high levels of disadvantaged students or deprivation. Some, but it's nothing like an inner city comp.

One lad, who is particularly troubled and the school tried to reject on the basis that we can't meet his needs, apparently hates his name. Mum said he wants to use one of his middle names. Fine, get that updated on the system, email teachers, etc. By break time he hated that too, and so far as I can tell has adopted 6 or 7 different names in the last few days. So now he's going to get a sticky label every morning, write down what he wants to be called, and wear it throughout the day.

(Obviously this is just weird, not harrowing as I alluded to above, but I won't go into that)

[Shindig]

Our boss has decided to jack up our expected productivity by 15%. I take it from that, head office didn't quite fancy greenlighting some new temps. :moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

In my new role (same school) I'm now part of the pastoral team for years 7&8. It's only now I appreciate how tightly controlled the information is about students that is given to teachers and form tutors, and why. Some of the shit I've read/heard about in the last four weeks alone has been incredible, and I'm at a school in a leafy Wiltshire market town - we don't have particularly high levels of disadvantaged students or deprivation. Some, but it's nothing like an inner city comp.

One lad, who is particularly troubled and the school tried to reject on the basis that we can't meet his needs, apparently hates his name. Mum said he wants to use one of his middle names. Fine, get that updated on the system, email teachers, etc. By break time he hated that too, and so far as I can tell has adopted 6 or 7 different names in the last few days. So now he's going to get a sticky label every morning, write down what he wants to be called, and wear it throughout the day.

(Obviously this is just weird, not harrowing as I alluded to above, but I won't go into that)

I don't want to sound like an LBC presenter here, it's a genuine question: do you think that kind of system is preferable to the 1970s approach of: 'Your name is James you silly clot, now sit down' ? There can't be a lot in it.

[Ian]

What's that, James? You're left handed?
*thrashes*

[mo]

I don't want to sound like an LBC presenter here, it's a genuine question: do you think that kind of system is preferable to the 1970s approach of: 'Your name is James you silly clot, now sit down' ? There can't be a lot in it.

I'm skeptical with the revolving door of names tbh. County lauded it as an 'inclusive school' policy and the idea came from someone with a wealth of experience. It seems to make an unhappy child happy, so why not try it I guess?

We've a number of students (disproportionally high I'd have thought) who are identifying as a different gender, or in one case, non-binary, and thus a lot of name changes. I sort of respect that in a 'you do you' type of way but you do wonder for how many it's just a phase.

[Shindig]

Fucking snowflakes.

[Pepe]

County lauded it as an 'inclusive school' policy and the idea came from someone with a wealth of experience.

As long as SCIENCE says so.

[Lofty]

My mate's teenage lad has a non binary girlfriend, she has chosen the name Keith. As someone reacted at the time, how is that not binary? Surely you should pick something like Zargon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does your mate's teenage lad not regret that he is now shagging a non-binary girlfriend called Keith?

[Disco]

Yeah all that shagging what a chore.

[Ian]

Maybe Keith's got great tits.

[Kikó]

Any pics?

I've got two weeks in my role before I fuck off to Germany. House will be packed at the start of next week. First benefit of brexit being realised etc.

[Yevrah]

Do they not just use the high importance button on outlook?

I had a guy in a team I inherited who use to overuse that to the point of genuinely giving me brain damage. He had to go.

Conversely, the best boss I've ever had never used it once.


I don't want to sound like an LBC presenter here, it's a genuine question: do you think that kind of system is preferable to the 1970s approach of: 'Your name is James you silly clot, now sit down' ? There can't be a lot in it.

I don't know quite how it's happening, but a generation of children are being created who cannot handle anything. It's really quite sad.

[Ian]

If the UK right now is the result of generations of people who "can handle" things then bring on the ladyKeiths.

[Yevrah]

You'd rather things were worse?

[Shindig]

If you give a kid the option to pretend to be someone else, they'll take it every time.

[Ian]

You'd rather things were worse?

I'm sure you don't actually think you're the first middle aged person to think the youth of their time are a load of useless softies who can't hack life. Because that's just what humans do as they get old and probably have been ever since we were capable of forming the thought "I tell you, the youth of today...."

[Disco]

There have always been kids who 'couldn't handle it' (they grew into the adults we lambast on here for being fucking melts/morons/heads have gone etc), I have no idea if indulging some of them is a good thing or not but it can't be much worse than fucking them off into the bin and hoping they work it out for themselves.

[Baz]

My line manager has left and gone doing the same job at a different place. Now she's mithering me to apply for my job at her new place.

No. I'm comfortable. Leave me be. I know you'll miss me cos I'm amazing but you're the one who left so deal with it.

I'll have a look at the job spec.

:moop:

[Lofty]

Why though?

[Panda Bear]

My line manager has left and gone doing the same job at a different place. Now she's mithering me to apply for my job at her new place.

No. I'm comfortable. Leave me be. I know you'll miss me cos I'm amazing but you're the one who left so deal with it.

I'll have a look at the job spec.

:moop:I mean, sure, look at the job spec if you want to get a raise and have more opportunities for promotion.

[Baz]

I mean, sure, look at the job spec if you want to get a raise and have more opportunities for promotion.
It’s for less starting salary and I’d have to pay transport, whereas I currently work from home full time.

[Spikey M]

Lolwut

[Giggles]

Laugh in her face then.

[Foe]

Was supposed to finish at 10ish today and have a nice relaxing weekend.

7am that plan was screwed to due to a rogue plant issue and I’m going to be working all afternoon and periodically over the weekend.

Fuck. Off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've had my work trip unilaterally moved a week sooner to save money on air fares, love it.

Itinerary is Barcelona, Zaragoza, Valencia, Madrid, Almeria, Seville or something like that, in five days. Sounds glamorous but the reality is going to haggle over prices in various dive industrial estates on the outskirts of each city, and living out of a suitcase in five different budget hotels. Loving life.

[Ian]

Does that turnaround give you basically bugger all time to actually do or see anything if you also plan to sleep?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wouldn't have thought I would have much downtime, no. Maybe the odd bit of tapas in the evenings.

[Spikey M]

Had to go into the office this morning and ended up talking to one of the heads of department. She was lamenting how there had been a "restructuring" that saw alot of the top brass reduce their workload and increase their pay packet, whilst leaving everyone else with more work and the same pay.

I replied with "Well, shit is quick enough to roll down hill, but money trickles very slowly."

*cough from behind me* and of course one of the board members is stood there. Awkward. But not Awkward enough.

The head of department continued:

"It does indeed. 2% raise again this April? Or has Covid given you an easy out on that one? Not that it matters, 2% doesn't even track inflation for goodness..."

And with that I made my way back to my desk. The fallout from this is going to be fun. Christ I hope they sack me.

[Kikó]

I've had my work trip unilaterally moved a week sooner to save money on air fares, love it.

Itinerary is Barcelona, Zaragoza, Valencia, Madrid, Almeria, Seville or something like that, in five days. Sounds glamorous but the reality is going to haggle over prices in various dive industrial estates on the outskirts of each city, and living out of a suitcase in five different budget hotels. Loving life.

Got to love this shit though. Travelling when someone else is paying is excellent.

[Lofty]

Had to go into the office this morning and ended up talking to one of the heads of department. She was lamenting how there had been a "restructuring" that saw alot of the top brass reduce their workload and increase their pay packet, whilst leaving everyone else with more work and the same pay.

I replied with "Well, shit is quick enough to roll down hill, but money trickles very slowly."

*cough from behind me* and of course one of the board members is stood there. Awkward. But not Awkward enough.

The head of department continued:

"It does indeed. 2% raise again this April? Or has Covid given you an easy out on that one? Not that it matters, 2% doesn't even track inflation for goodness..."

And with that I made my way back to my desk. The fallout from this is going to be fun. Christ I hope they sack me.

Amazing :D

Our lot have not offered a pay rise in two years thanks to covid, if there isn't a pay rise again next year I suspect the unions will ballot for strike.

[Ian]

Wouldn't have thought I would have much downtime, no. Maybe the odd bit of tapas in the evenings.

Fuck that. If you had even a couple of hours a day to properly mooch about and get some food then sure but that just sounds a slog.

[Giggles]

Got to love this shit though. Travelling when someone else is paying is excellent.

No, you just like the idea of it in your reality. As he described it isn’t excellent and I doubt you’ve a notion what it’s remotely like, he hasn’t a fucking minute to himself. Fuck all bollinger and cuffawing on a real work trip.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

[Giggles]

:lol:

It reads back very angry but then again there’s not a word of it that isn’t true. He doesn’t live on any planet other than the plush one in his head.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Since I posted that, Pamplona has been added to the list. Pamplona to Almeria is 941 kilometres before you even start going to all the other places as well. Whole thing will be about 2,000km in six days I think. Me and a wheezing bloke in his mid 60s. I'll have to go and play some simulator or something to get used to driving on the right.

[Giggles]

Since I posted that, Pamplona has been added to the list. Pamplona to Almeria is 941 kilometres before you even start going to all the other places as well. Whole thing will be about 2,000km in six days I think. Me and a wheezing bloke in his mid 60s. I'll have to go and play some simulator or something to get used to driving on the right.

But yeah, travel, class. Maybe you’ll buy some properties.

[Lewis]

It reads back very angry but then again there’s not a word of it that isn’t true. He doesn’t live on any planet other than the plush one in his head.

And when he does descend to mortal level it's to spread covid all over two families. :rolleyes:

[Giggles]

And when he does descend to mortal level it's to spread covid all over two families. :rolleyes:

The elite don’t get covid.

[Kikó]

No, you just like the idea of it in your reality. As he described it isn’t excellent and I doubt you’ve a notion what it’s remotely like, he hasn’t a fucking minute to himself. Fuck all bollinger and cuffawing on a real work trip.

Do you actually think that's what my work trips are like? I don't make money for the organisation, there's no 5* hotels or Michelin star restaurants on my trips. I just like the adventure even if what Jim's explained might be too much on the day to day because of travel.

[Kikó]

I've missed the bizarre fantasy you have of my actual life.

[Lewis]

Yeah can't see just one Michelin star cutting it.

[Giggles]

Do you actually think that's what my work trips are like? I don't make money for the organisation, there's no 5* hotels or Michelin star restaurants on my trips. I just like the adventure even if what Jim's explained might be too much on the day to day because of travel.

He’ll be shit hotel to shit hotel after working all day every day. It’ll hardly be a magical travel experience of connecting or whatever it is that happens on planet kiko.

[Giggles]

Yeah can't see just one Michelin star cutting it.

As if he’d lower himself.

[Kikó]

He’ll be shit hotel to shit hotel after working all day every day. It’ll hardly be a magical travel experience of connecting or whatever it is that happens on planet kiko.

Ok mate chill out. It's just a message board.

[Giggles]

Ok mate chill out. It's just a message board.

Christ I’ve landed on 2009 Reddit.

[igor_balis]

You have Reddit??? [/ Boydy ]

[Kikó]

Anyway, what's your favourite perk of work trips? Mine is the jacuzzi in the room and steak dinners in business class.

[Raoul Duke]

Putting hookers on the expenses tab

[Giggles]

I like the lobster and making the locals feel inferior.

[Offshore Toon]

I reckon Jimmy should take Igor along with him to help turn it into an ADVENTURE. You know the stories would be worth reading, even if it's just Jimmy lying in the bins getting churros thrown at him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Me and Igor going round Spain would be a six-parter on Channel 4. Possible BAFTAs.

[igor_balis]

I reckon Jimmy should take Igor along with him to help turn it into an ADVENTURE. You know the stories would be worth reading, even if it's just Jimmy lying in the bins getting churros thrown at him.

It's a good idea, because I do of course get into all sorts of wacky and zany japes, but Jimmy Floyd's excellent writing skills might lead to a more positive and engaged response than the usual everyone calling me a cunt.

[Giggles]

He’s good but he’s not that good.

[Offshore Toon]

It would be very, very Peep Show.

[randomlegend]

I've literally never seen Kiko post anything that even gives me a hint as to where Giggles got his view of him from.

[Shindig]

I think Giggles went turbo as soon as he twigged on he worked in banking.

[Pepe]

He’s good but he’s not that good.

:lol:

[Ian]

I love me a bit of Giggles (see below) but his hatred of Kiko is odd.


He’s good but he’s not that good.

:D

[Lofty]

He’s good but he’s not that good.

:D

Are you doing a thread for it, Jim? Better than my ill fated solo Egypt jaunt.

[Manc sean]

I am in Germany with work this week, via a redeye flight to the dam Monday morning. It is a trip upon which it is likely there could be schmoozing in the form of a couple of nights on the piss coming my way... but I'm off the beer unfortunately so it'll be a fairly straight affair.

Down your way weds-fri Lewis. If I can clear the final hurdle in the pass office and get my new access pass that is.

[Kikó]

Who's the one smashing it now?

[randomlegend]

It's a good idea, because I do of course get into all sorts of wacky and zany japes, but Jimmy Floyd's excellent writing skills might lead to a more positive and engaged response than the usual everyone calling me a cunt.

FWIW I've never understood people doubting your stories; they all ring true to me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

RL wants a starring role in the next one.

[Ian]

Does anybody other than Manc say they think he's full of shit?

[Boydy]

Shindig did for a while as well, I think.

[Shindig]

I hated the stories more than him, to be honest.

[Lewis]

I am in Germany with work this week, via a redeye flight to the dam Monday morning. It is a trip upon which it is likely there could be schmoozing in the form of a couple of nights on the piss coming my way... but I'm off the beer unfortunately so it'll be a fairly straight affair.

Down your way weds-fri Lewis. If I can clear the final hurdle in the pass office and get my new access pass that is.

Aren't you based here anymore?

[igor_balis]

I hated the stories more than him, to be honest.

Manc thinks I'm an embellisher but you hated me in part because you believed them, as far as I could tell.

[Shindig]

Sounds about right.

[Spikey M]

That's pretty sad.

[Giggles]

I don’t know what would be worse, that they’re all true or not.

[Spikey M]

Igors only crime is posting the same shit most of us were about 10 years ago. He's not saying anything particularly far fetched or out there, he's just living the life of a teenager / someone in their early 20's. I've never really seen the issue with anything he posts.

[Ian]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FBUqjPIX0AAS26n?format=jpg&name=large

Can't believe it was my fault. :(

[Disco]

Unless the document was titled 'How to Fight the Taliban' I'm not sure how that would have helped.

[Ian]

They're gonna shit their pants when they learn about VPNs.

[Lewis]

That is believable. I work with 'sensitive documents', and we were having to cancel all sorts of things because there weren't enough people to supervise, meet access controls etc. Everything above a certain level of classification is run over secure communications, which people don't have on their laptops. I've been waiting over a year to go to Wales and see some stuff because everybody at the Cardiff branch of Business and Energy is still cowering at home.

[Ian]

There isn't a client end for this which could be set up on the staff laptops?

Even assuming it's not possible or practical to set up connections for staff in the required numbers to make working from home suitable for that job, the headline isn't intended to make a specific point about the infrastructure of the thing is it?

The point is HOMEWORKING = TALIBAN, who I assume have reclaimed bogeyman status because ISIS haven't blown up anything Britons care about recently.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've finally made my mind up on the home working issue, which is that firms and employees should just agree things among themselves - and, as I read somewhere this morning, any attempted intervention towards GET BACK TO WORK by the government can only mean they are batting for commercial landlords.

[Lewis]

You could set something up for higher networks at great expense, but if the material is at the very highest levels, which things like human intelligence sources possibly would be, then even higher networks require that the room in the building that the terminal is in has to meet certain requirements.

[Spikey M]

That is believable. I work with 'sensitive documents

Give us some Goss.

[Spikey M]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FBUqjPIX0AAS26n?format=jpg&name=large

Can't believe it was my fault. :(

1447110865610813446?t=KdEZPbKo_VHHlRWhSCNOuA&s=19

We'd all be speaking German if it were in our hands. :(

[Lewis]

Give us some Goss.

I decide which old stuff can and can't go to the National Archives/other places.

[Ian]

Oh so for that stuff it's not even that there are internal networks used they don't want to extend, it requires somebody at a physical thing?


I've finally made my mind up on the home working issue, which is that firms and employees should just agree things among themselves - and, as I read somewhere this morning, any attempted intervention towards GET BACK TO WORK by the government can only mean they are batting for commercial landlords.

I think this is the reasonable stance. You can't just say "OKAY, DRONES, YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN NOW GET BACK TO WORK" any more than you can dictate that firms have to allow everybody to work where they like. I missed it but there was a company call with our overlords the other day where they were discussing the return to office plan and one of the chief something-or-others was asked to list the benefits for the question-asker's specific role to be in the office because he couldn't think of any and it sounds like they basically couldn't think of anything.

I think in some ways they'd do better for now just being honest and saying that the offices in central Glasgow and even more so the one in Southwark cost a fucking bomb and the shareholders aren't going to be happy at just eating that cost so may as well look like we need it.

There are teams in our company though where really there's no need for anybody to be in the office, though our manager is now planning team outings the like of which we literally never had before COVID.

[Lewis]

You could presumably put the network terminals anywhere and it would work, but they have to be in a secure room (within a secure building), which has all sorts of criteria that somebody's house would never meet in a million years.

EDIT: Also, if it is sufficiently high level it could be subject to the two man rule, where by you aren't allowed to read it without somebody else present, so even if your house passed all of the physical tests you would still fail there.

[Spikey M]

Scenes when the comercial landlords have to adapt to become traditional, blood sucking, residential landlords and the surge in supply forces them to reduce their rent too. :drool:

[Ian]

1447110865610813446?t=KdEZPbKo_VHHlRWhSCNOuA&s=19

We'd all be speaking German if it were in our hands. :(

I think it's very important that we compare everything to a war that happened the better part of a century ago. We need that perspective.

[Spikey M]

I decide which old stuff can and can't go to the National Archives/other places.

Could you get away with making shit up and feeding it to the tabloids? I mean, you'd obviously get sacked and that's a sacrifice we're willing to make, but could you get the media to run with the story before hand?

[Lewis]

Nobody seems to get sacked for feeding them actual stuff (that Kent bus stop episode was clearly deliberate), so making things up can't be an offence.

[Shindig]

What's the official secrets act even for?

[Lewis]

I suppose it stops low level plebs leaking/selling whatever they like, like that bloke (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/149126.stm) and them gays at the Cyprus base, but yeah lol at it applying to people above a certain level.

[Lofty]

Gavin Williamson and Priti Patel are apparently too important. Truly the worst timeline.

[Lewis]

Gavin Williamson was a stupid one because if he deserved the sack then he should have been charged. He will have been put up to it by half the senior management, who would all have been implicated in any proper investigation, and you can't have that.

[Disco]

I'm very bored, running out of things to do by 10am on a Monday can't be a good sign.

[Manc]

Booked in for the office tommorrow. I thought I'd test the waters and essentially told them I cba to which they replied fair enough. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just received my itinerary for Spain, six different Ibis hotels in successive nights :drool:

They're also having a barney about who has to pay for my flight, the company or the guy I'm going with. Professional as ever at the home of professionalism.

[Spikey M]

Why would the guy you're going with pay?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because he's on commission or whatever. I don't know. The good thing is that I'm copied into all the emails arguing about it.

[Shindig]

I'd have even money on the company begrudgingly footing the bill.

[Don]

Booked in for the office tommorrow. I thought I'd test the waters and essentially told them I cba to which they replied fair enough. :cool:

What the sweet fuck is this? We've just had our once every fortnight expectation increased to once every week.

[Spikey M]

Because he's on commission or whatever. I don't know. The good thing is that I'm copied into all the emails arguing about it.

That's mental. The company has to cover the travel costs. CC me in Jim, I'm not having this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just fwded to spikey@gypobastards.gov.uk

On another note, the company chairman has just emailed the whole company recommending we click this youtube link for the 'words of wisdom' within. I can't bear to do it so I'll let TTH look for me: https://youtu.be/c7V1qLLsn7M

[Yevrah]

Witaf is that? :D

It's over nine years old for a start. Maybe it sewed the seeds for clapping for the NHS.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still haven't clicked it but it's gone to all employees worldwide so I trust it's a cross-cultural banger and will not damage his credibility in any way.

[Spikey M]

:lol:

Teh Fuge had "match day song for boro" as an anthem, and now the New Board has one too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is incredible.

[Raoul Duke]

Some lovely banjo work there

[Pepe]

Well that's me convinced.

[Pepe]

At my place we are all getting $5000 as some sort of thank you for working during Covid. :drool:

[Giggles]

Bastards. I got absolutely fuck all extra and never missed a day.

[Pepe]

Less than a year ago the talk was all about how we were going bankrupt, so I do not know what changed but I will take it.

[Foe]

Buy a beat up truck to race.

[Pepe]

I suggested it to Ms. Pepe but she thinks that we should use it to pay for daycare instead. :(

[Foe]

Tell her they only gave $500, not $5000 and just keep the truck at work or a friends.

[Shindig]

Secret Truck. :cool:

[Pepe]

She also gets the free money, so there is no hiding it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tell her you got less and the place must be racist.

[Lofty]

Working with the Mrs, foiling dreams again.

My department got anally reamed by Covid (had to smash the first few months implementing a reactionary timetable) and our reward has been no pay rise for 2 years :moop:

[Lewis]

Lofty why didn't you just become a train driver? It sounds like a right scam.

[Lofty]

They would never admit it but there was strong suggestion off the record I was too tall.

[Disco]

Can't they put the seat down a bit?

[Lewis]

Yeah it's not a fighter jet you big mong.

[Lofty]

The seat in a lot of older rolling stock is fixed to the bulkhead so it isn't very adjustable. There was an interview I had where a lot of people were shocked and there was a strong suspicion I had been nobbled: I was the only one not to progress and my interview was less than half the length of everyone else's. A friend in the union was up for pushing it but I was looking to relocate anyway.

I'm over the shifts to be honest. When you caught 4 4am or earlier shifts in a row it was a killer. Also I think the only ones who really enjoy it are the enthusiasts who love the whole thing anyway. By all accounts it's pretty boring and comes down to sustained concentration, I know a lot of people who went driving fairly young and are bored but can't leave now as they can't take the salary hit.

One of my major issues with that side of stuff was getting leave granted too, was an extremely contentious issue all round. At least in my role now I never have that issue and usually have the ability to choose my hours etc. We have just seemed to have gone under the cosh in March 2020 and never had any let up since, for various reasons.

[Boydy]

They could've put a sunroof in and given you a pair of goggles.

[Spikey M]

Loftys main problem in life is his refusal to bully. Chokeslam a few suits and he'd be driving the world's first tripple decker train within a fortnight.

[Shindig]

What you're saying here is to pass the interview, you needed your chair to be miles away from the interviewer. Social distancing could've done you a real favour. If only they needed drivers during the leanest timetables of the pandemic. :moop:

[Lewis]

What you're saying here is to pass the interview, you needed your chair to be miles away from the interviewer. Social distancing could've done you a real favour. If only they needed drivers during the leanest timetables of the pandemic. :moop:

On a related note, back in April my manager offered a job to a woman after a Zoom interview who promptly informed him that she was about to drop and thanks for the maternity leave. Unlucky, sweetheart, you don't start work until your clearances pass. She then mysteriously turned the job down.

[Lofty]

Surely she would have had to work 6 months to qualify for that anyway? We had a pilot apply in our team but rebuffed him. They took another one on in a different office, lo and behold restrictions ease and he's fucked it off to go flying again, who could have predicted that.

[Lewis]

I think she was already in the department or re-deployment pool or whatever.

[Spikey M]

The patriarchy fails our sisters once again.

http://consciousmagazine.co/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/FeminismArticle-1-of-2.jpg

[Raoul Duke]

They would never admit it but there was strong suggestion off the record I was too tall.

Come move to Europe. We have plenty of double-decker trains to transport giant Dutch people around here

[SvN]

On a related note, back in April my manager offered a job to a woman after a Zoom interview who promptly informed him that she was about to drop and thanks for the maternity leave. Unlucky, sweetheart, you don't start work until your clearances pass. She then mysteriously turned the job down.

Someone posted in a Facebook group I read that they're currently in the early stages of being sued because he sacked someone who was shit after 1 month on the job. The woman is claiming it's because she was pregnant. He had no idea - she hadn't told anyone there, and he just assumed she was fat.

[Shindig]

Come move to Europe. We have plenty of double-decker trains to transport giant Dutch people around here

My first train stateside was a double-decker.

[Don]

£18 spent on lunch today. Fuck all collaboration or value gained from office presence. So mindless :happycry:

[Foe]

I said I’d go in every Wednesday but I forgot to book it today so fuck it.

Waste of time with my team lead on annual leave anyway.

Must be terrible running a business right now. I don’t think anyone gives a shit.

[Luca]

£18 spent on lunch today. Fuck all collaboration or value gained from office presence. So mindless :happycry:

My man went and got himself a fucking Pret sandwich and salad instead of supporting his brother Alireza and paying £6 for a Koobideh combo that would fill his scrawny body until Friday. You hate to see it.

[Spikey M]

£18 for a lunch you can't taste?

[Lewis]

Pack a sandwich you silly cunt.

[Don]

This is the problem with your office being based in downtown Dubai. All the Alirezas have been given a state suit and tie and think serving the white man for £11 p/h is a respectable life. Makes you sick.

[Don]

Pack a sandwich you silly cunt.

I take in pasta normally, you fuck. I thought the first proper day back warranted a social lunch.

[Manc]

Sandwich? This isn't The Blitz.

[Ian]

This isn't The Blitz.

Don't tell the gammons that.

[Baz]

Been in to actual meetings these past two days. First one was annoying cos I turned up and opened my laptop to send some emails while the room filled up and then about 6 people dialled in remotely via Teams, so I could have done that. Then we went round doing introductions, including myself, and then bloke chairing it was like 'and now those remoting in, first it's [me]' so I quickly interrupted with 'I'm already here, I just introduced myself.' Dickhead. He tried to palm it off by joking it was the first meeting he's chaired where he's not wearing pyjamas but it's too late, he's on my shitlist.

They also had these weird Perspex screens on every desk, separating everyone. Except they were only the width of the table (we were sat in like a big horseshoe shape, with a desk each but all connected) so when I was talking to the bloke next to me about our roles, there was no screen between us. Very 'token gesture' waste of money.

Todays meeting was better cos, well, this happened:

https://i.imgur.com/DMx6VTX.jpeg

[Lewis]

:lol:

[Spikey M]

:lol:

[Lofty]

:D

[Shindig]

That can't be the first time you've made that choice. :D

[Raoul Duke]

Wear a complete suit of it. Full camo

[Ian]

Are the socks made of carpet or is the carpet made of socks?

It'll be the new pit / crater, I tells ya.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Wear a complete suit of it. Full camo

Please make it happen, Baz.

[Baz]

That can't be the first time you've made that choice. :D
Was the first time I’d ever been in that building.

[Manc]

Sock banter aside, the colour combination of trouser & shoe should see you executed.

[randomlegend]

We're getting completely overwhelmed again at the moment. We had children waiting in the corridor for beds tonight as literally every bed (+ rooms which aren't usually used for patients) was full. I've never seen that before

Someone's going to die at some point.

[Pepe]

In a hospital? You don't say!

[Don]

Is it linked to Novid/Lurgy or is it just because googling symptoms on NHS website isn't fixing people?

[randomlegend]

In a hospital? You don't say!

We're not an A and E, we're an assessment unit. Kids who make it to us have already been seen by another medical professional and felt to be unwell enough to need to go to hospital (which isn't necessarily always the case, but still). They aren't kids with grazed knees and shouldn't be sitting in a corridor waiting for beds.

It's not common at all for this to be happening in this kind of setting (I've never seen it), especially not in Paediatrics. It's incredibly unsafe.

[randomlegend]

Is it linked to Novid/Lurgy or is it just because googling symptoms on NHS website isn't fixing people?

It's mostly that all the viral illnesses that make kids unwell (not covid) didn't spread last year because of lockdown, so now they are back with a vengeance. Our numbers of sick babies with bronchiolitis requiring high dependency care are what they would usually be in the depths of winter.

[Spikey M]

We're not an A and E, we're an assessment unit. Kids who make it to us have already been seen by another medical professional and felt to be unwell enough to need to go to hospital (which isn't necessarily always the case, but still). They aren't kids with grazed knees.

It's not common at all for this to be happening in this kind of setting (I've never seen it), especially not in Paediatrics. It's incredibly unsafe.

Are you getting alot of kids that have "seen" a GP via the medium of a chat over the phone?

[Spikey M]

It's mostly that all the viral illnesses that make kids unwell (not covid) didn't spread last year because of lockdown, so now they are back with a vengeance. Our numbers of sick babies with bronchiolitis requiring high dependency care are what they would usually be in the depths of winter.

My daughters school and my sons nursery are brutal at the moment. Absolutely everyone is ill. Vomiting viruses seem to be highly fashionable right now. We are fortunately behind the times for now.

[randomlegend]

Are you getting alot of kids that have "seen" a GP via the medium of a chat over the phone?

Yes, and a lot of babies who're being referred in by midwives with feeding issues/weight loss who haven't actually seen the baby. It's...poor.

It's like everyone else can just throw their hands up and cry "covid" and avoid a certain proportion of their work load, but we are the last line of defence so everything they shirk falls on us.

[Spikey M]

Yes, and a lot of babies who're being referred in by midwives with feeding issues/weight loss who haven't actually seen the baby. It's...poor.

It's like everyone else can just throw their hands up and cry "covid" and avoid a certain proportion of their work load, but we are the last line of defence so everything they shirk falls on us.

It's one of the main areas we're going to look back on and wonder what the fuck we were playing at. It's mental.

Shit like this:

1432657530929438730?t=YOQFAp-LkOUC8nYKlfVwCw&s=19

But atleast you didn't get Covid, Nick lad. I'd be out for blood if this shit had happened to me.

[randomlegend]

Never mind I misheard that on first listen.

Even then I doubt "several weeks" is enough time to have elapsed for anyone to tell him it was the reason his cancer was inoperable. It's just not something a medical professional would say (unless the delay was something genuinely egregious like a year).

[Spikey M]

We obviously don't have the timeline, but he had the antibiotics for a week, saw it was getting worse 6 weeks later, then had to wait for the referral. I don't know how long that took, but we're looking at 7 weeks even if everything was immediate.

That said, isn't "a rash around a mole" a "proceed straight to hospital, do not Pass Go, do not collect £200"? So maybe the GP would have made the same mistake in person.

[Shindig]

Yeah, any changes around a mole would trigger alarm bells.

[randomlegend]

Yeah, IDK, it's hard without knowing all the details of the case. I just seriously doubt any doctor has told him that the delay is the reason his cancer is inoperable, as he's said they did.

Dermatologists I think do a fair amount of stuff via images nowadays, but a GP deeming a dodgy mole as fine from a picture is beyond brave IMO.

[Spikey M]

Who knows. Salt to be pinched all round with these things, but there will be enough real examples of GP's missing things over the phone causing avoidable deaths.

Who is at fault for this? Are GP's deciding to work this way? Or is it Lee's and failed Army Officers steering the ship?

[randomlegend]

As much as it pisses me off when I'm the one dealing with the fallout, I find it hard to really blame GPs. Essentially what has happened is pre-covid they were completely and utterly overwhelmed. Covid forced them to work in a different way - with a lot more phone appointments for example - which has given them some semblance of being able to manage the patient load. They now don't want to go back to how things were before and are clinging onto the changes covid brought about.

The fact it's just shifted the problem elsewhere is shit but I think most people would be lying if they claim they're too virtuous to have done the same in that situation.

There will absolutely be pressure from Practice Managers to keep working like this, regardless of whether the GPs are keen on it or not (but I'd imagine a lot of GPs are keen to keep working like this).

[randomlegend]

What I do blame them for is handing out countless antibiotic prescriptions over the phone for things which patently aren't bacterial infections.

[Spikey M]

What I do blame them for is handing out countless antibiotic prescriptions over the phone for things which patently aren't bacterial infections.

My Step Dad trained to become an ECP after many years of being a Paramedic. He had to shadow a GP for a few months as part of the training, and he was told by his mentor that Antibiotics were routinely used to shut up time wasters as it was quicker than explaining that a viral infection would clear up on its own. That was about 15 years ago now. I'm glad to see progress has been made.

[randomlegend]

I genuinely think it had, but has gone backwards with covid. Maybe they are scared of missing the bacterial infections because they aren't physically seeing the patients to make a proper assessment, so are just giving antibiotics to cover their arses.

[Boydy]

I remember a few years back anitbiotic reaistance seemed to be in the news a lot. I'm assuming that potential problem hasn't just gone away so when's that gonna come back to bite us on the arse?

[randomlegend]

There are already extensively drug resistant, and possibly totally drug resistant, strains of TB around.

[phonics]

I applied for a job where they said they were going to learn towards POC applicants so I thought my white cis ass had zero chance but held out hope. Didn’t get an interview. They just announced they hired a white kid called Jerry that already had the place on his LinkedIn prior to the hiring that’s working it alongside his several thousand dollar a month patreon where he talks about The Simpsons.

[Panda Bear]

I applied for a job where they said they were going to learn towards POC applicants so I thought my white cis ass had zero chance but held out hope. Didn’t get an interview. They just announced they hired a white kid called Jerry that already had the place on his LinkedIn prior to the hiring that’s working it alongside his several thousand dollar a month patreon where he talks about The Simpsons. that kind of shit is the worst.

[neo_hippy]

What I do blame them for is handing out countless antibiotic prescriptions over the phone for things which patently aren't bacterial infections.

Im on day 9 of 10 of a penicillin course for tonsillitis at the moment. Diagnosed purely over the phone by god knows who bothered to call me back. She didn't ask for photos purely trusted what I'd told her. I do get it fairly often so maybe she could see in my notes I have a fair bit of experience with it? A few years back they were having me in to look and sending off swab samples.

Funniest thing though was she told me to wait a few days before I start taking them 'just in case' it goes away. Fuck that

[Lofty]

A lad I know had an appointment at 5pm on a friday to talk about getting help for his drug addiction and the GP said 'this is too complicated to sort at this time on a friday, make another appointment' :D

Wife had similar issues with her GP not ringing when arranged then being pithy that she didn't pick up on the first ring when finally ringing. They must have forgot some people never went home during covid and can't/don't want to take personal medical calls in an office full of people.

[Spikey M]

I'm in the office again today and have just been speaking to one of my colleagues that has a poorly kid.

"My little one is so poorly, bless her. We've put a humidifier in her room with Olbas Oil in it to help her breathe, but we've still barely slept."

Been there, Sister (thisiswhatafeministlookslike.jpg).

Then she continued:

"The only problem is her windows end up getting covered in condensation, so we've had to buy a dehumidifier before we get mold around the window".

I need a new job. Fuck these people.

[Shindig]

I applied for a job where they said they were going to learn towards POC applicants so I thought my white cis ass had zero chance but held out hope. Didn’t get an interview. They just announced they hired a white kid called Jerry that already had the place on his LinkedIn prior to the hiring that’s working it alongside his several thousand dollar a month patreon where he talks about The Simpsons.

Congratulations to Jerry from Talking Simpsons. It could've been worse.

https://www.patreon.com/thesquizzy


I am making an 18+ parody game of the simpsons, You play as a tenant who is moving into the Simpson household. Marge kicked out Homer after Bart went to prison, of course she got sick of all Homers drinking. You had to move house because the only college that would let you in is in Simpvill. You go around the town of Simpvill making "friends" with the local girls. You're just a realistic guy stuck in a town full of simps, who could blame the girls for being fed up.

It does highlight a problem with favouring minority candidates, though. They need to come forward in numbers and need to present themselves well. It's probably a fruitless endeavour unless you get real lucky.

[SvN]

Congratulations to Jerry from Talking Simpsons. It could've been worse.

https://www.patreon.com/thesquizzy


Sorry, wtf?

https://i.imgur.com/0wcaFAS.png

[Shindig]

I hope he hasn't got one for Maggie.

[Smjffy]

May as well update.

I returned to the job I couldn't be furloughed from in April, anticipated working alongside another chef but he no showed so I was on my own whilst guests were allowed on terrace or takeaways, waiting patiently whilst someone else arrived for the proper opening....no one did. Then one did. Then he fucked off. Twat. Ex head chef arrived from Poland so we've worked the last few months together but he returned a few weeks ago.

Here's where I am at though. I am in a different area and different pub but under same owner, I have complete control of the kitchen, it's my specials every day, I do all the ordering etc. Every last bit goes through me which is ridiculous as I am still very inexperienced but as tough as it is, it's enjoyable all the same. Nothing special but I like how far I have come. I keep trying and doing better, now winter is coming and things are quieting down I feel I could really make some further improvements as I'll have more time to play.

Well....

What a difference a few weeks make. I came home on Friday for a week and today I went for a interview for a place opening in my home town mid-November, six figure investment which is nice and a brand new kitchen. They've only gone and offered me the gig. :huh:

[Shindig]

Working from home has really, really broke my ability to get my head down. This week back in the office can't end soon enough.

[Spikey M]

Working from home has really, really broke my ability to get my head down. This week back in the office can't end soon enough.

My urge to work is plummeting almost as fast as my urge to kill is rising. It's not working from home though because I'm no better in the office. I just don't give a flying fuck any more.

Unfortunately the job and the flexibility around school runs make finding a different job pretty difficult so I'm stuck here until my wife can learn to drive (currently a year long waiting list for the test).

[Ian]

I definitely need a new job. Bored out of my tree basically all the time and the job itself is getting more annoying.

A promotion of sorts has been listed and one of our managers expressed his surprise that I hadn't applied. Told him I wasn't interested and really hoping they don't ask me about it again.

[Lofty]

I work better from home than in the office after the enforced office absence. Surprised with all the covid headlines that they haven't shut the office yet. My main problem at the moment is the workload is high and we are a man down long term so our usual 'quiet' period was non-existent and we are now hurtling towards the turbo end of the year with a lot less buffer between deadlines than I'd like.

[Manc]

On the whole people seem to have completely fallen off.

[Kikó]

I'm pretty switched off but thankfully, I'm changing in two weeks. I think more frequent office time will help reconnect my brain to it and convincing myself it's worthwhile and not a slow march to death.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've had loads of people leave in our office. Either they want to work from home (not possible with us) or they are just bored out of their mind and want any sort of change. Sometimes I feel the same but I'm a look-before-you-leap sort.

[Shindig]

We've only had a couple leave since the redundancies last year. One of which was an actual death. We're in a situation where we're not really dealing with our workload and the higher ups aren't either. So there's chances for development and I might go that route soon just to make things interesting.

[Foe]

We went through mass redundancies last year and in a shocking turn of events, we’ve realised that we now don’t have enough staff to do what we need, so are now externally hiring a load of people.

Our leadership showing their strengths once again.

[Lofty]

The rail industry is currently doing voluntary severance across the board because Grant Shapps has recommended it, despite projections showing it doesn't actually have enough staff to achieve it's aims.

[Baz]

Works changed it so I can’t use Teams to chat to anyone outside of my organisation and it’s ruined my day.

[Smjffy]

It's a chefs market at the moment. I've been offered another position today and now I'm confused. I hate having decisions to make, nice ones in this instance but notoriously bad for making the right one.

I wouldn't be the main man here which isn't a problem. I either take the one offered with the refurb, smack bang in the centre of my home town or I take the plunge and take the one offered down south. I could even go back to Cornwall and be ex chefs No2 from November 1st but I really haven't got a clue what to do right now.

Suggestions? Normally I take whatever is offered and go from there but I can afford to be a little more selective so nothing needs deciding today. Just a little perplexed at what to do now. :-/

[Yevrah]

I've been in the office three times this week so far and spoken to actual people, which is nice. What isn't nice however is the drilling for oil (I've no idea what they're actually doing, or why it needs to be done until December) going on outside.

[Andy]

It's a chefs market at the moment. I've been offered another position today and now I'm confused. I hate having decisions to make, nice ones in this instance but notoriously bad for making the right one.

I wouldn't be the main man here which isn't a problem. I either take the one offered with the refurb, smack bang in the centre of my home town or I take the plunge and take the one offered down south. I could even go back to Cornwall and be ex chefs No2 from November 1st but I really haven't got a clue what to do right now.

Suggestions? Normally I take whatever is offered and go from there but I can afford to be a little more selective so nothing needs deciding today. Just a little perplexed at what to do now. :-/

Work out what's most jmportant for you and go from there.

You can always chat ut through with the people who have offered you the job and ask for more money, creative control etc.

[Giggles]

I've been in the office three times this week so far and spoken to actual people, which is nice. What isn't nice however is the drilling for oil (I've no idea what they're actually doing, or why it needs to be done until December) going on outside.

This is interfering too much with Oxford City action.

[Don]

Get on this 'Too good to go' app. You pay a less than 50% price for a lucky dip bag of food these gaffs were gonna chuck. Sensational app until it becomes popular and the idea collapses on itself.

[Baz]

I’ve used it twice. Was shite and felt like I was a nuisance for showing up, cos the staff were clearly fed up of scruffs turning up and stealing the stuff they’d otherwise take home to their abusive partners. Can’t even remember what food I got but it didn’t feel like a bargain.

[Shindig]

Learned a new job this week for what will effectively kill a couple of hours. I'll take it because the bread and butter of the role is fucking tedium.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm back in the office to discover that the bloke next to me who had quit has now un-quit, and the director of finance is signed off with stress. This is the best company ever.

[Lofty]

Did the MD say 'welcome back, Jayden'?

[Manc]

Back in the office tommorrow as I've run out of excuses. Talk of 2/3 days a week throughout November. Plan B can't come quick enough.

[Don]

That's more like it, you weasel. Once a week for us, no rumours of an increase on that and I'd find it unlikely until 2022.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm actually working from home this afternoon as there's a glazier coming round, it's bloody awful. If I could chuck three grand at a state of the art office area, then yeah, maybe.

[Manc]

That's more like it, you weasel. Once a week for us, no rumours of an increase on that and I'd find it unlikely until 2022.

It was a good run. My plan is to cut productivity by a third on office days.

[Shindig]

Here's one thing I've noticed about the pandemic. The fat people in the office got fatter. Universally. They've reversed the decision on facemasks and now they are to be worn away from desks. Fucking jobsworths. :D

[Manc]

Well this is completely pointless.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a new guy in our department this week, working under me and another guy. He's the son of the company's Arab sales rep, and has been 'in trouble with the law' in Jordan. By his own admission he's been sent over here in a deal between his father and the company owner in order to 'keep him out of trouble'. The way he will keep out of trouble is that he has a five year temporary visa here, linked to the company, and any problems he causes in the UK will cause him to be deported and back into the hands of the Jordanian authorities, so his dad figures that this will force him onto the straight and narrow. As reasons for hiring someone to your company go, it's right up there.

They tried putting him in finance first but he made a tit of himself there (hence the director being signed off with stress), so now they're trying him in sales. Cheers lads.

[Baz]

What did he do in Jordan?

[Lofty]

What did he do to make a tit of himself with such repercussions?

[Kikó]

Has he thought about buying a premier league football club?

[Jimmy Floyd]

What did he do to make a tit of himself with such repercussions?

Strolled around like he owned the place, and responded to any rebukes or attempted correction with 'Do you know how much money my dad makes for the company'.

[Lofty]

Good luck :eyemouth:

[Giggles]

Sounds like a lost cause so. Deported by Christmas.

[Ian]

I was going to ask if he's a mong or just a cunt and but it sounds like he's definitely the latter anyway.

It's very decent of your work to keep giving you fresh hells to deal with for the benefit of the thread.

[Spikey M]

One of my mates has just walked out of his work having told his boss to go fuck himself. His wife is going to kill him and I've no idea how he's going to feed his children, but aside from those little details I am insanely jealous.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Child starvation is a small price to pay for how good that must feel.