The All New Jobs Thread

[Ian]

I mean if the Frenchman is 703 like most of your colleagues a broken foot is probably going to prove fatal.

[thommo]

Is the Frenchman RL?

[niko_cee]

Paging RL.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Frenchman was the unfortunate subject of one of my favourite boss (east end wideboy boss) moments a few years back. Used to run his company as a duo with his wife. The boss rings me one day and cheerfully says 'Mathieu's wife has only gone and committed hari-fucking-kari'. I assumed he meant a bad business decision so thought nothing of it. Turned out she'd actually gone out into the woods and shot herself.

He's been doing more business with us solo though and that's the main thing.

[Shindig]

Ah, the Liam Neeson complex.

[Baz]

Have you had much contact with your lady colleague over Christmas?Yes, plenty.

[randomlegend]

Paging RL.

I'd like to set all your minds at ease by confirming I am not French.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our manager put the word out that we're looking for someone to take over running the Irish market. This is a market worth about £100,000 in business at the moment and the commission offered is 2% of profit, so given we operate at a 40-45% margin you're looking at probably £1,000 a year in commission with a fair wind. For this the person will be expected to do three sales trips a year to (the island of) Ireland - one to do the north, two for the south.

Me and the two other team members who are in the running for this gig put our heads together and all agreed: it's a crap offer and none of us want to do it. I was probably the closest to thinking about it as I'm the only one of the three without a small child, but I have bigger fish to fry so it's a no from me as well. We went back to the manager and said that none of us want to add that gig because it's not worth it. He started having a good old cry and told us it was a great opportunity. I said how is it a great opportunity? Even if you double sales - which is bonkers unrealistic - you'd be putting in a ridiculous amount of effort running around Ireland for only £2,000 extra a year. Why would you do that? He knows deep down than I'm right, as I could tell on his face.

What I wanted to say, but couldn't, is that there's a reason you people (and thousands of employers like you) can only attract applications from Ukrainian immigrants and thick twats who get made redundant elsewhere - your offer just isn't attractive to any kind of calibre of person. Employers of course don't and won't accept this because they are so addicted, since decades, since their whole lives and worldviews, to cheap labour and being able to dictate the market. I wonder what it will take for that to change. It will decide my vote at the next election. Who is offering housing supply and high wage economy reforms? At the moment I'm seeing no one.

[Boydy]

I have no idea what commission structures usually look like - is 2% of profit low or is that normal? I'm guessing low from everything else we know about your employer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have no idea (surely it varies massively across industries and individual circumstances) so all you can do is take each individual proposal on its merits, and the two I've had put to me in the last 12 months - £3kish to do four trips to Central America, and £1kish to do three trips to Ireland - I would classify as extraordinarily bad offers. You have to remember also that when I say 'trips' this isn't like a business trip where you go to one place, have a hotel room and go to a client's office every day for a week, this is doing hours of driving/flying every day and 3-4 meetings with different people in different places, then writing and sending back the reports in the evenings, and destroys you.

Now if you had 10 more valuable countries and had to visit them all once and you made five figures in commission, then maybe 2% is good - I don't know, you can only see the offer in front of you.

[Ben]

My previous company had their sales staff on 10% and they were well known for being cheap. But a completely different industry so apples and oranges.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was that their industry?

[Yevrah]

I’d put money on the offer Jim talks about being crap whatever the industry.

[Luke Emia]

I’d put money on the offer Jim talks about being crap whatever the industry.

Aye, so even as a new adviser in financial services you would expect around 10-15% of income as commission(not profit) regardless of it that is for mortgages, pensions etcetera.

[Yevrah]

The fact that Jim’s is based on margin is the first red flag before you even get to the numbers. Would love to know what costing model is used there as well and what else goes through gross profit. Are there rebates, for example, and are they included?

[Ben]

My previous company it was 10% of profit and sales staff generally ran at around 30-35% profit margin. Rebates weren't included in cost, sales staff had to suck it up with the inflated cost.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think I mentioned this back when they offered me Central America, but: the structure is 1% of profit if you achieve 75% of target; 1.5% for 90%; and 2% for 100% or more. Profit is calculated as selling price minus landed buying price, and they also 'load' 4% in which the company keeps.

I should also say that that isn't consistent company policy - I know that the Arab is on a worse deal than that (because he has high value markets and they can rinse him as he's stuck here waiting for a UK passport), while his dad is on a far better deal.

[Giggles]

I'm so glad I don't sell things.

[Lofty]

I was on 5% of every ticket sold back in the day, could make over £100 a day sweetener just doing my job :cool:

[Dquincy]

Yes, plenty.

Do you think she's into you, in that sense? And if you did, would you do anything about it?

[niko_cee]

Settle down quince.

[Yevrah]

Do you think she's into you, in that sense? And if you did, would you do anything about it?

Would a borderline or actual middle aged man have an affair with a subordinate young enough to be their daughter having met and flirted outrageously in the workplace? Nah, can't see it.

[Baz]

She’s only ten years younger you weirdo

[niko_cee]

Take that as a yes then.

[Yevrah]

She’s only ten years younger you weirdo

People in the office shagging and senior men copping off with younger Women are two of the oldest modern day working tropes going - you're dancing through this thread like you're completely unaware of either and I'm the weirdo.

Carry on like that and you'll be inside her before you've even realised.

[Baz]

Take that as a yes then.Nah. We’re really good friends, that’s all there is to it.

[Lewis]

My 'best mate' at work is a twenty-five year old woman, and, even though we aren't, half the office is apparently convinced that we're having an affair (as half of us were convinced that another pair were for years - although they actually might have been). Worth bearing in mind then that half your office will think you're at it.

[Ian]

A lot of people can't get their heads around the concept that people with the complimentary bits and preferences might spend time together which isn't fucking, or a prelude to fucking.

[Giggles]

I had that before too. Though, we were.

[Boydy]

My 'best mate' at work is a twenty-five year old woman, and, even though we aren't, half the office is apparently convinced that we're having an affair (as half of us were convinced that another pair were for years - although they actually might have been). Worth bearing in mind then that half your office will think you're at it.
Maybe you should be.

[Boydy]

A lot of people can't get their heads around the concept that people with the complimentary bits and preferences might spend time together which isn't fucking, or a prelude to fucking.

To be fair, Baz hired this woman at least partly based on her being fit.

[Ian]

Oh my response was entirely in response to Lewis, I wasn't siding with Baz or commenting on whatever he is or isn't up to.

[Baz]

To be fair, Baz hired this woman at least partly based on her being fit.

Nah this is completely false. I didn’t think she was fit when interviewing her (online) it just so happened when she turned up for work, she was nicer to look at than expected. She hated me at first because I didn’t bother with her, and I’ve since openly told her I didn’t want “support” because nobody is able to do my job as good as me. :baz: Thankfully I got past my narrow-mindedness, plus fancying her has almost completely subsided now.

[Baz]

No better thread for it so here it goes. Went to some meditation thing tonight with some people from work. What a bizarre experience. Absolute cult vibes by the end, preaching about global warming. I’m either bad at meditating or the woman hosting it was rubbish cos I could not relate to anything she was saying.

Still, an amusing way to spend an evening and we got chicken selects from McDonald’s drive thru on the way home, so can’t complain.

I’m sure we’ll have fun in the office tomorrow reviewing tonight.

Also held hands with my sidekick at one point (we all did, in a circle, and had to chant lol) and my only thoughts were Christ her hands are colder than mine, and I’m bordering on raynauds.

[Lofty]

Your energy was so not Rainbow Rhythms.

[Shindig]

Calm blue ocean.

[Manc]

Cold hands. Cold heart.

[Baz]

Your energy was so not Rainbow Rhythms.:D

When it got suggested I couldn’t help but blurt out ‘it’s not rainbow rhythms is it’ and sent a gif of mark ‘dancing’. As promised it was indeed the complete opposite. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing. To be honest, it was right up my street.

[Lofty]

I don't need anyone to coach me on how to do that, I'm practically elite at it.

[Spikey M]

Last year we had a training session on dealing with difficult customers. Geezer had no idea what he was talking about in general and by the end of it he had us stood in a circle holding hands - The hand in my left hand wasn't cold, but she had been shoveling Wotsits in her face all morning, so I was straight on the hand sanitizer afterwards - chanting "MMMMM-BAAAAAAH". from the chest, not from the throat. Sound as confident as you feel. Like a demonic Hansen rip off.

Anyway, we all agreed afterwards that we'd rather be sat on a desert island with all of our worst customers than go through that again, so maybe he was on to something.

"Training" is such a grift for the most part.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Didn't know they did exorcisms in the civil service but I suppose the productivity crisis has to be solved somehow.

[wullie]

One of the things I had applied for as part of the big restructure recently was 'Training and Knowledge Specialist' which they painted as writing and composing material for training with only 5% actual training. The writing part sounded great but that 5% would still be enough to kill me

[Shindig]

We had a suicide-baiting wifey do our Mental Health Awareness course. That was a sight to behold.

[Yevrah]

We had a suicide-baiting wifey do our Mental Health Awareness course. That was a sight to behold.

Any idea what her qualifications were to be discussing mental health awareness? Genuinely curious and I'm guessing absolutely none.

[Shindig]

She was bipolar and clearly in a manic mood all session.

[Mike]

We had Dyslexia awareness training this evening. My favourite part was being invited to look at the different resources for 20 minutes, then the lady doing the training passing around the same things for another 20 minutes.

[Dark Soldier]

Baz have you slammed it up her vagina yet or not that's all I care about

[Baz]

Baz have you slammed it up her vagina yet or not that's all I care aboutno.

We discussed holding hands today. She joked that she wasn’t sure who’s were sweatiest, then said mine were cold and wet, referenced sweaty clam (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sweaty%20clam), and called me vagina hands. To which I responded ‘well they have been up plenty’ and she looked visibly repulsed and told me off, saying I need to remember I’m not in the pub with my mates, while clearly thinking I’m hilarious.

She also went out giving out suicide awareness resources to local businesses today including visiting the homeless support place I manage the contract for. Some drug user asked her for her number, so I said it must be the partially sighted guy who’s always in there. Went down even worse than my fingering comment. :baz:

Oh the banter. It’s a funny dynamic cos when we chat in the open plan office it’s all very polite basic office shite, but then we go into a meeting room together and it’s basically a two-way masterclass in flirting.

She knows I fancy her but I think she just enjoys my humour rather than wanting my clammy hands up her fanny.

[niko_cee]

:face:

[Kikó]

Christ. Mike have a word.

[Mike]

That’s defo coming up in a tribunal in 18 months time.

[Baz]

You all underestimate our relationship. Honestly it’s solid gold.

[Dquincy]

Settle down quince.

How can you say this given the top notch content which has proceeded. :D

[Dquincy]

People in the office shagging and senior men copping off with younger Women are two of the oldest modern day working tropes going - you're dancing through this thread like you're completely unaware of either and I'm the weirdo.

Carry on like that and you'll be inside her before you've even realised.

Yev's, I feel you're judging Barry here. Perhaps tone down the judgement a little bit? Or not? You do you.

[Foe]

Can I have her number?

[Dquincy]

To be fair, Baz hired this woman at least partly based on her being fit.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that in my opinion. I mean, she/he must have other qualities for the job, but nothing wrong in plucking the fitty out of a group of equal candidates. Boosts office morale.

[Dquincy]

Baz, I agree, I reckon she knows you have a crush on her, but it also sounds like she really enjoys it.

This'll either be because she enjoys the attention, or it's because she's into you. I'm putting money on the latter.

[Yevrah]

Yev's, I feel you're judging Barry here. Perhaps tone down the judgement a little bit? Or not? You do you.

Of course I'm judging him and I don't necessarily mean in a bad way - they're both adults, but any judging is being done on the basis of his words in this thread. I mean, look at that last post of his, just look at it.

[Dquincy]

Of course I'm judging him and I don't necessarily mean in a bad way - they're both adults, but any judging is being done on the basis of his words in this thread. I mean, look at that last post of his, just look at it.
:D Love it. I fully retract my statement.

I think that's partly what makes this place so good, the different personalities and people being open.

[Baz]

This'll either be because she enjoys the attention, or it's because she's into you. I'm putting money on the latter.I’m not bothered either way. I’ve a friend who I didn’t even know five months ago who cheers me up everyday, and that’s all I want.

[Dark Soldier]

That first paragraph is sensational Baz.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, part of me would love to be a judgemental shitbag but it's absolute poetry in motion, too beautiful to be criticised.

[Giggles]

I'm rooting for Baz to get the wick dipped after that.

[thommo]

Fucking hell Baz. You'll be asking to put your pen in her doughnut in no time.

[Baz]

Can I have her number?Is this because I’ve made her sound fun? Cos honestly I could never do her justice.

If Mike ever meets her he’ll be like yeah she’s class, guaranteed.

[Shindig]

She'll wind up shagging someone else in the office and Baz will be on a permanent seethe.

[Lofty]

The tribunal having the phrases 'sweaty clam', 'vagina hands' and 'well mine have been up loads' read aloud deadpan will be like an episode of the Office.

[Baz]

Only one was me :dc:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Very entertaining morning this morning. The Arab's Yemeni customers are all ringing up to call him an Israeli-sympathising pigdog, because he works for a British company and the UK put some planes in the airstrikes on Houthis overnight. Bad guys, down there, very bad guys.

[Lofty]

Can only assume this is what Iran wanted as we previously discussed, threatening the west's bottom line is a carpet bombing offence.

[SvN]

She'll wind up shagging someone else in the office and Baz will be on a permanent seethe.

Had this exact scenario happen about 15 years ago when I worked in a student pub. Duty Manager (who was married and in his mid-30s) was always flirting with one of the student-aged barmaids. Rumours galore, "We're just mates who have a laugh together", the usual. Then on a staff night out, she ended up getting together with one of the other lads that worked there. The manager was fuming, calling her a slut, "I thought I knew her, but obviously not". Ended up storming off and going home early, and then stopped scheduling her for shifts when he was working.

[Bernanke]

https://vimeo.com/866052086/7d7781e9ea

Satire is dead.

1745533600064528429

[Yevrah]

I like it and agree with the sentiment.

[Lofty]

I can't concentrate in the office anymore, went in yesterday and there was far too much bleating from self important clowns to effectively crunch numbers. Thank god we have a policy set in stone already.

[Yevrah]

I certainly get more work done at home, but the better together thing is so true for the vast majority of fields. It's not so bad for us older people, but I look back on how much I learnt when I was younger just picking things up from people around me without having to ask stupid questions and it was invaluable. So in short, it's the younger/less experienced people who're really missing out by working from home, which is ironic given they're the ones pushing the most to be able to.

[randomlegend]

I like it and agree with the sentiment.

Isn't there mountains of evidence that all their arguments for why people need to come back are demonstrably untrue?

[Raoul Duke]

The thing you miss (aside from the above) is the "2nd-hand smoke" info, just overhearing someone talk about XYZ can give you a lot of background info/terminology etc. I miss that a bit as once you hit 'End' on a Zoom call everything ceases to exist

[Jimmy Floyd]

100%. I would be 0.2x as good at my job if I wasn't hear learning indirectly from my colleagues every day.

[Don]

Aw poor youngsters being deprived of their critical workplace development that will in no way become redundant in the near future.

There will need to be substitute provisions to allow for social development but rounding them up for the fucking disgusting office environment is not it.

Also lol at how stereotypical the various figures of "Internet Brands" are, right down to their ethnic roots; the Mr Burns CEO, the ex-military gammon customer-facing VP, the fruity gesticulative marketing head, the cumslut HR head, etc

[Ian]

We're being moved up to 60% in the office from 40 soon apparently, which is obviously better than doing the full lot but the only beneficiary of this is going to be Scotrail.

[Yevrah]

Isn't there mountains of evidence that all their arguments for why people need to come back are demonstrably untrue?

Maybe, but I'd genuinely like to see them if so. My bullshit detector is going haywire.

[Yevrah]

There will need to be substitute provisions to allow for social development but rounding them up for the fucking disgusting office environment is not it.


What are they then? I'll pre-empt RL's list and say that this one thing outweighs all of the other negatives combined of working in an office when it comes to one's development.

[Yevrah]

And then there's also the social aspect, which for me in one workplace went from regular beers to driving across Europe in a clapped out 2001 convertible Merc and taking it for a spin around the Nurburgring. I'm not convinced what led to us doing that would have happened if it weren't for working in an office and it remains one of the best things I've ever done.

[Boydy]

I'm getting a bit bored of wfh full time (well, 99% of the time) tbh. But my office is tiny (there's only five of us but if we're all in it feels a bit cramped) and there's not even monitors or shit in there so we're stuck with just laptop screens.

I'd never want to go back to going in every day but I wouldn't mind doing maybe two days a week.

[Spikey M]

I've somewhat missed the bus now, but I just want to go on record - ahead of the ITV dramatisation - in saying that I am judging Baz and it is absolutely in a bad way. :sick:

[Don]

What are they then? I'll pre-empt RL's list and say that this one thing outweighs all of the other negatives combined of working in an office when it comes to one's development.

The social revolution will probably centre around education, creative maggotry and volunteering shite. All three having just as much, if not more, room for social engagement.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think you're vastly underestimating the economy's capacity to create work for people. We might all be deliveroo riders, but we'll be grafting, and we'll be doing it all day. Human society is set up for nothing less.

[Don]

Have a wander over to Milton Keynes.

https://c.ndtvimg.com/2021-09/r0qcdj2o_uk-delivery-robotafp650_625x300_23_September_21.jpg?im=Resize= (1230,900)

Next...

[Lewis]

We can be the security guards for those things in everywhere that isn't just old white people.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had lunch with the Arab again, because I'm a masochist, and he spent most of it explaining the honour killing system in Middle Eastern countries. If your mother, daughter or sister is seen with a man you don't like then you can murder both of them for a six month jail term (he says) because honour murder is legally different to general murder.

He gave the example of when he was younger, his sister was going out one evening, so naturally he decided to follow her and brought his 'Glock'. Sure enough she went to see a man and in burst the Arab wielding the handgun. He told his sister to go home and told the man to come in his car for a drive. The man did so and he told him never to go near his sister again or he would report him to his father and have him killed. So ended the relationship.

I'm not convinced this was true, obviously, but even if it isn't, why is he telling me this and what does he hope to achieve by doing so?

[Yevrah]

More importantly, does he agree that's the way things should work?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think he has a moral position on it, he just acknowledges that that's the way it is, and also acknowledges that in the west all murders are just murders.

[Manc]

I assumed "The Arab" was a fictitious character some time ago. Confirmed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can come down and meet him if you like. He does Jiu Jitsu in the local leisure centre on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tell him I sent you.

[Ian]

It's alright, Manc doesn't believe anything that isn't happening in his house is real.

100% one of those who replied to everything he saw on the internet with 'pics or it didn't happen' once upon a time.

[Boydy]

Probably goes around Twitter tagging DHOTYA in everything.

[Giggles]

Everyone should be back in the office at this stage or what's the reason they aren't?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They don't fancy it.

I'd be bang up for it if they used all the dead office space to solve the housing supply crisis but, shock horror, that doesn't appear to be happening.

[Giggles]

I'm actually shocked companies haven't got everyone back at this stage, unless they don't want it. Surely you just tell someone to come in or fuck off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Job market is very employee-friendly at the moment so they can't afford to do that.

[Baz]

It’s cheaper to not have to accommodate your entire workforce in buildings.

[Giggles]

It’s cheaper to not have to accommodate your entire workforce in buildings.

It's more expensive to have cunts at the gym or watching judge judy when they should be working though.

[Raoul Duke]

Yeah, because people don't waste time in offices

[Giggles]

They centrainly won't waste as much, which is less than all.

[Shindig]

I like it and agree with the sentiment.

Not when half the MDs in the ad are clearly dialling in. Fuck 'em. :D

I don't mind the office days but my motive for remote working has always been to make the years of toil go faster.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Russian in my office often chooses to work from home (he's at that level of pseudo-seniority where he can do that) and he just drinks heavily all day. You can tell because if you call him at 3pm he can barely string a sentence together.

[Spikey M]

They centrainly won't waste as much, which is less than all.

There will be some people that take advantage of not being watched when they're at home. However, there are others that take advantage of being surrounded by other people and chat all fucking day.

I deliberately save my court prep and applications for days I'm working from home for that exact reason. I can actually concentrate and get shit done without having to tell Janice what I'm having for dinner and what I have planned for the weekend.

[Giggles]

People need to be watched.

[Shindig]

And they are. Productivity is accounted for at every place I've worked. If I decide to slack it's because I've earned it with TOP PERFORMANCES.

Or I get days like today where the inbox never stops. :moop:

[Ian]

If it was actually causing any significant loss in productivity or revenue all the big firms would be dragging everybody back in and you'd have to be thick as fucking mince to think they'd let their bottom line suffer at the cost of employee satisfaction because none of them give a shit about that anyway. Giggles is just being another miserabilist about this stuff who thinks anybody else being even a bit happier must mean he's less happy, somehow.

The wasters will do nothing wherever they are, if they're in the office they'll just put their effort into not doing anything useful. Usually more effort than it'd take to do their jobs. At least if I'm at home they can't waste my time too.

And listen, there are definitely jobs / industries / fields / whatever where being in and around your colleagues is beneficial, mine is absolutely not one of them. And mine is also one where it's no more or less difficult to track how much work we're doing, whether we're in the office or at home.


Probably goes around Twitter tagging DHOTYA in everything.

Presumably runs the account.

[Lofty]

People need to be watched.

People can be digitally surveilled. They can monitor keyboard strokes etc. If people don't deliver the goods they get their P45, as already said WFH jobs are very attractive so only mugs abuse them and lose them.

Just depends on your work culture, pre covid one of my team regularly wandered out of the office shopping for hours but it was accepted because he also worked above and beyond when he was at his desk. My wife's work on the other hand is super strict and therefore whenever they are given leeway someone takes the piss and spoils it.

A bit like countries legalising all drugs, everyone didn't immediately go on the hunt for smack.

[Adramelch]

I would argue there's a ton of cases of employees willing to work that extra hour when needed if they are at home.

[phonics]

I hate working from home. I need the release knowing my home is my place outside of work. COVID made me hate my life, just get out of bed, walk over to the computer, sit there for 8 hours, then sit there for another 5 hours doing not work stuff, then walk back to the bed. If only it wasn't all BLOVID and I actually died I probably would have been happier.

[Kikó]

I work from home 99% of the time and every 6-8 weeks head to HQ for a few days. I'm able to work without someone looking at me because I like being paid. I agree with yev (shock?) about younger less experienced people benefiting from the office environment and being able to learn by osmosis.

[Yevrah]

In a further shocking development I agree with that post entirely Kik’s. The people will skive if you let them work from home is such a non-argument. Just give them more work if they are.

[Shindig]

It is definitely better to have someone on hand you can ask about advice. Rather than sending them an email and waiting for a response.

[Kikó]

I'm 3 or 4 years in to basically full time work from home and I think it'll be difficult to get back into any job that's obligated office time. I do like going in when I visit Berlin but it's also pretty tiring as you end up spending more time in meetings. I wouldn't mind having the choice and probably would end up going a few times a week or month.

[Lofty]

It is definitely better to have someone on hand you can ask about advice. Rather than sending them an email and waiting for a response.

You can just ring them though, or even Teams/Zoom call them with a shared screen.

[Shindig]

The latter can't be done on our current gear. :D Team leaders can screenshare on their laptops. Us plebs can't.

[Baz]

I’ve been invited to be part of a group photo with the police tomorrow, not sure how I feel about it. Do I go all in, front and centre, or skulk at the back behind someone tall.

[Manc]

Front and centre sporting a BLM t-shirt.

[Pepe]

Ask them if you can hold one of their guns.

[Raoul Duke]

Stand next to Sting

[Mike]

Decline the invite.

[Baz]

Well that’s not happening, cos it gets me out the office for a while. :youpi:

[Baz]

I’ll post the pic here and you can all see my guardian angel :lol:

[Manc]

You're fucking obsessed.

[Raoul Duke]

I’ve been invited to be part of a group photo with the police tomorrow, not sure how I feel about it. Do I go all in, front and centre, or skulk at the back behind someone tall.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flAkPEeUhHY

[mo]

Spent tonight looking at jobs outside of teaching. The Head of Year role is so relentlessly negative, it's utterly draining me and I'm getting very little joy from actually teaching at the moment. I'll look for other jobs just teaching before I pack it in, unless something amazing comes up - trouble is, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for.

[randomlegend]

Spent tonight looking at jobs outside of teaching. The Head of Year role is so relentlessly negative, it's utterly draining me and I'm getting very little joy from actually teaching at the moment. I'll look for other jobs just teaching before I pack it in, unless something amazing comes up - trouble is, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for.

Wife is in the same position. She moved into specialist provision this year as a last throw of the dice at staying in teaching, but overall it's not any better. She's actively trying to get out.

[Dquincy]

I’ll post the pic here and you can all see my guardian angel :lol:

You didn't mention she was going. Just stand as close as you can behind her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Slip a finger in, you can always blame it on a copper.

[niko_cee]

Spent tonight looking at jobs outside of teaching. The Head of Year role is so relentlessly negative, it's utterly draining me and I'm getting very little joy from actually teaching at the moment. I'll look for other jobs just teaching before I pack it in, unless something amazing comes up - trouble is, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for.

This sounds quite sad.

I have noticed in my daughter's secondary school, which, to my untrained eye looks like it's run by quite an aggressive/forward thinking/surveillance state Trust, that a lot of the teachers are young, which they seem to specifically aim target [my assumption]. Is that just a fresh meat for the grinder type thing? Of does it differ wildly depending on where you are, in terms of being awful or not being awful?

[Baz]

You didn't mention she was going.Wherever I go, she comes along for the lols.

[Lofty]

Spent tonight looking at jobs outside of teaching. The Head of Year role is so relentlessly negative, it's utterly draining me and I'm getting very little joy from actually teaching at the moment. I'll look for other jobs just teaching before I pack it in, unless something amazing comes up - trouble is, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for.

There's a few ex-teachers in my office and they just laugh maniacally when I ask if they'd ever go back.

[Waffdon]

Spent tonight looking at jobs outside of teaching. The Head of Year role is so relentlessly negative, it's utterly draining me and I'm getting very little joy from actually teaching at the moment. I'll look for other jobs just teaching before I pack it in, unless something amazing comes up - trouble is, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for.

My missus is at a RC this year and 60% of her class are foreigners. Said it’s the best and easiest class she’s had (only 3.5 years mind :lol:) as they’re all brought up to respect teachers - so she says anyway. The few Sri Lankan’s properly worship her. Bring in gifts at the end of every term or whenever she’s been ill lol

[Manc]

Spent tonight looking at jobs outside of teaching. The Head of Year role is so relentlessly negative, it's utterly draining me and I'm getting very little joy from actually teaching at the moment. I'll look for other jobs just teaching before I pack it in, unless something amazing comes up - trouble is, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for.

Avoid the CS at all costs.

[randomlegend]

This sounds quite sad.

I have noticed in my daughter's secondary school, which, to my untrained eye looks like it's run by quite an aggressive/forward thinking/surveillance state Trust, that a lot of the teachers are young, which they seem to specifically aim target [my assumption]. Is that just a fresh meat for the grinder type thing? Of does it differ wildly depending on where you are, in terms of being awful or not being awful?

Older teachers are too expensive and are all leaving/have left anyway. It's an absolutely awful job.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was having a beer with my teacher friend the other day and he lives in a sort of cloud of loving it so much that the issues don't matter to him. They have no staff, can't recruit, those who are there are mostly crap and paid crap, kids are a nightmare, white kids are all delinquent, Muslim parents giving it large about what's in the curriculum, you name it. I said how awful, and he it's not awful, it's great.

Probably the best way to approach it, because if you approach it like a normal job then you'll surely just end up at Mo's stage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My colleague, who has some of the more adventurous countries as his accounts, is off to warzone Ethiopia next week as previously mentioned. As if that wasn't nerve-wracking enough, he's had some bad news this morning from Uzbekistan. Some little bearings that we sold to a mining company have failed and blown up three engines in massive mining machines. They're demanding a visit to inspect and assess the damage. As a result of this, more or less as soon as he returns from Ethiopia, he's going to have to get on a plane to Tashkent, then get on a three-hour train out to Samarkand, and then from there get in a car for 4-5 hours to visit the mine itself.

Whatever money he's on, I suspect it isn't remotely enough. He's such a yes man though that he'll just dutifully do it. Not even like he made a mistake or caused the problem.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I hear Uzbekistan is lovely this time of the year.

[niko_cee]

What good is it going to do to send a salesman all the way out to inspect whatever has happened unless the plan is to just kill him?

[Don]

Uzbekistan is a great country to visit. Sheperd's pie stocks low and not enough marketed walking tours to get your NHS prescribed steps in but rest assured, it's a great place.

[Lofty]

My mate's dad used to contract in Uzbekistan on a good wedge until he foolishly slagged off the local tradesmen as lazy fuckers, they had a whip round for a hit man and he had to do a moonlight flit.

[Boydy]

Jimmy's colleague isn't coming back, is he?

[Jimmy Floyd]

What good is it going to do to send a salesman all the way out to inspect whatever has happened unless the plan is to just kill him?

Diplomacy.

[Spikey M]

Jimmy's colleague isn't coming back, is he?

Of course he is.

Just bit by bit, with ransome notes.

[Spikey M]

Diplomacy.

You send an engineer for that.

At work, we once had someone withholding their rent because such a sup-par effort had been made of fixing their leaking ceiling. He demanded I come and look at it. I asked why. "So you can see why I'm not paying!"

Ahhh, I see. So you want to rub my nose in it, basically? Yeah. No thanks. I didn't do it. I didn't fail to fix it. I lack the skill set to fix it. Me visiting achieves nothing. Phone the repairs team.


That's how that conversation should go.

[Baz]

Did the police photo, I’m at the back but bang in the middle, like Moses crossing the parted sea. Hope I make the paper.

[Dquincy]

Wherever I go, she comes along for the lols.

Because she's contractually obliged, or through her own free will?

[Baz]

Because she's contractually obliged, or through her own free will?All the questions, Manc’s gonna have a seizure. :D

Her own free will. I regularly check for ‘events’ and conferences relating to my job in surrounding areas so I can have a bit of skive day, or go and socialise with people I frequently see at these types of events, usually people who do my job in different parts of the north west. It’s a bit of a running joke at work now that I have lots of ‘out of office’ days. She’s cottoned on and is very eager, because she enjoys socialising, and really doesn’t like working from home. We’ve got one next Thursday, 10-3, but put it in our diaries 9:30-4:30 and she’s currently sending lists of bars we should go, after eating at the restaurant she’s booked at 2:30. I’ll be driving, fwiw.

[Lewis]

Nothing quite like a work beano to fiddle the old flexi sheet. Yes, I was working for seven hours, and the train was delayed, and... A day out in London? Not at all.

[Baz]

It is good isn’t it. Because of a previous role I have direct access to the train ticket booking system so I can always rely on an ‘open return’ rather than having to book a set train home, like I used to do for people I didn’t like. :henn0rz:

It’s funny how many people I only see at ‘events’ and don’t even necessarily have any meetings with them outside of our annual boring drugs thingy and then pre-train pints.

[Lofty]

Baz getting done on a double whammy of misusing council funds and sexual harassment is not what I expected for 2024.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The useless woman has been here for three months now. She asked this morning on the Teams chat how to do an incredibly basic thing. I sent her a simple three-step procedure for doing it, with about 10 words in each step, none of them long. She still doesn't understand it and has burst into tears. What am I supposed to do? I have sympathy for her trying hard, but when you're this terminally stupid there's just no hope.

[Gray Fox]

"I'll pass you over to Person X, they know much more about this stuff than I do."

[Spikey M]

Crying at work used to be seen as unprofessional and we should prioritise getting back to that standard.

[Yevrah]

Crying at work used to be seen as unprofessional and we should prioritise getting back to that standard.

Can't, mental health or Men's mental health are too important to ask people to hide their true feelings.

[Dark Soldier]

Can't, mental health or Men's mental health are too important to ask people to hide their true feelings.

Yes, yes it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Arab has just done some pretty indefensible workplace stuff, i.e. screaming at people in anger at the top of his lungs, then storming out in a huge tantrum to 'go and buy cigarettes' at a time when he's supposed to be here doing his job with us. Really torn on whether I should go and tell him to wind his neck in myself, or raise it to superiors. Former option is polite but improper, latter is proper but impolite.

It was the sort of scene where as soon as he left the room, everyone looks at each other and says 'what a twat'.

[niko_cee]

Probably gone to get his glock.

[Boydy]

Why was he screaming in anger?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because some deal didn't go his way and he wanted to take it out on those in the office who he (wrongly) blamed. Iranian missiles hitting Iraq are seriously damaging his business I think.

He's since returned, been given a verbal warning, and is now trying to draw me into some cloak and dagger plot to undermine another colleague. I just shrugged and said you do you mate. You must need so much energy to live your life like he does.

[Spikey M]

Can't, mental health or Men's mental health are too important to ask people to hide their true feelings.

They can keep their SimpyHealth memberships and monthly #CalmCoffeeConversations, just don't start blubbing at me. I am not equipped to deal with it.

[Baz]

They can keep their SimpyHealth memberships and monthly #CalmCoffeeConversations, just don't start blubbing at me. I am not equipped to deal with it.Sounds like you need some MHFA training. :harold:

[Gray Fox]

You'll be learning A.L.G.E.E in no time.

[Ben]

That’s got to be the worst acronym ever.

[Gray Fox]

Even worse is that both of the Es stand for Encourage.

[Baz]

When we did it someone asked why’s it’s not EAGLE and it just got ignored

[Shindig]

Can't encourage them first, man. What if they're on a bridge?

[Baz]

Oh, I honestly retained zero of it

£8 a month though

[niko_cee]

Can't encourage them first, man. What if they're on a bridge?

Encourage, Assist, Get on with it, Lament, End

[mo]

This sounds quite sad.

I have noticed in my daughter's secondary school, which, to my untrained eye looks like it's run by quite an aggressive/forward thinking/surveillance state Trust, that a lot of the teachers are young, which they seem to specifically aim target [my assumption]. Is that just a fresh meat for the grinder type thing? Of does it differ wildly depending on where you are, in terms of being awful or not being awful?

It's incredibly sad. End of lat week/start of this were awful; I have since bounced back a bit. Still going to be keeping my eyes peeled for opportunities outside the profession.

The teachers are young because most of the old ones have been forced out/priced out. I'm sure there are good trusts out there but you only ever really hear the horror stories.


My missus is at a RC this year and 60% of her class are foreigners. Said it’s the best and easiest class she’s had (only 3.5 years mind :lol:) as they’re all brought up to respect teachers - so she says anyway. The few Sri Lankan’s properly worship her. Bring in gifts at the end of every term or whenever she’s been ill lol

Don't get many non-white/non-English kids at my place, but any Asian students we've had have been a dream. They don't stay long though once they realise they're better off elsewhere.


I was having a beer with my teacher friend the other day and he lives in a sort of cloud of loving it so much that the issues don't matter to him. They have no staff, can't recruit, those who are there are mostly crap and paid crap, kids are a nightmare, white kids are all delinquent, Muslim parents giving it large about what's in the curriculum, you name it. I said how awful, and he it's not awful, it's great.

Probably the best way to approach it, because if you approach it like a normal job then you'll surely just end up at Mo's stage.

I bet he's there giving up his lunch break, working all weekend 'for the kids' etc. Pointless. Like pushing water up a hill.

[Spikey M]

Encourage, Assist, Get on with it, Lament, End

:D

[igor_balis]

I hate working from home, but the autistic obsession Giggles has with it is something else.

[Baz]

Another opportunity for a work jolly has come up but it’s in Cumbria and I’m not sure a 1 hour 40 minute drive there (and same back) is worth a day out the office.

[Lewis]

That's an afternoon off once you've said it took you over two hours to get home.

[Dquincy]

Another opportunity for a work jolly has come up but it’s in Cumbria and I’m not sure a 1 hour 40 minute drive there (and same back) is worth a day out the office.

Are all council workers as work shy as you?

[Kikó]

It's ok though as he's in the office rather than work from home.

[Baz]

Are all council workers as work shy as you?
It’s for work. :henn0rz:

[Spikey M]

The real question should be; how - in the middle of a "cost of living crisis", with Council budgets squeezed, and many of them on the brink of bankruptcy - are they still pissing about with bullshit training courses?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because it's all they know.

[Baz]

I haven’t done a training course since my first month in 2018 when I did MHFA. There really is no money.

My trips are all events paid for by the organisers, or free visits to services out of area that I want to copy from.

[Spikey M]

I've just attended a home visit with a man that is "absolutely destitute". He told me that they had cut off his electric and he has no food at all in the house.

He then promptly opened his fridge to prove this, only to look on in Horror as the fridge light went on.

"Oh, I mean they haven't cut me off yet, but they're going to".

Now, maybe they are, that's not enough for me to call bullshit on him. The food he had piled up outside his backdoor however...

Nice try mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What happens in that kind of situation? Do you get in his face and scream LIAR, or do you just slink away pretending you haven't seen the pyramid of Melton Mowbrays outside the back door and knife him via a report back at base?

[Gray Fox]

You never want to get confrontational while in their home. Something like an "I've seen what I needed to see" after faking a look around the rest of the place and back to base to report it.

Even people who have been nice as pie to you can turn on you the second you(even rightly) question their integrity. You want to not be in a place where they've got god knows what to assault you with when they blow up.

[Spikey M]

Upon seeing it I just said "your fridge seems to be working again now. Do you want a hand moving this back in?" To which he replied "oh, haha, nah, I'll do it then you're gone. Cheers", and I made my exit.

Obviously, he won't be getting any assistance now and his card will be marked by my mental BULLSHIT stamp for all future contact.

I assume he is fiddling his benefits etc now too and will report him if I can find anything that backs it up.

[Lewis]

Do you ever get called out to damp/mouldy houses? Because literally every story I've ever seen on them heavily suggests that the people involved are simply retards who never open the windows. That video Sadiq Khan put out speaking to some woman through an interpreter was like a parody made by a racist.

[Spikey M]

I do. It's usually linked to them not being able to afford the heating (as well as not opening windows / trickle vents because it just makes it more cold, which I understand to be fair).

There are some idiots though. I once attended an eviction where they had a drier that they didn't plumb in, so all the moisture just went into the air, walls and ceiling. Everything was covered. Even the air felt furry to breathe. We ducked out immediately and I was nearly sick on the pavement.

[igor_balis]

When I got to work yesterday, the thermostat was set to 28°c. Everyone sat in T-shirts, naturally.

[Baz]

Man I forgot how stressful the end of January is for grant returns. Far worse than the end of March, surprisingly. I’d rather retender 10 contracts than do these 3 grant expenditure reports.

[Baz]

We’ve got one next Thursday, 10-3, but put it in our diaries 9:30-4:30 and she’s currently sending lists of bars we should go, after eating at the restaurant she’s booked at 2:30. I’ll be driving, fwiw.This skive day was today. Morning was boring, afternoon was good. Driving was a mistake, will probably get the train to the next one in a fortnight.

Despite the water being brown, there’s something quite nice about the walk along the docks. Also always good to go and see my old mate Billy Fury’s statue. :lewis:

[Baz]

I appreciate the irony of the last two posts. One ‘omg stress’ and the other ‘had a wonderful day of skiving in Liverpool.’ :D

[Gray Fox]

Sounds like I've missed an interesting morning at work. I'm told the place lost access to all water(drinking and toilet) in the early hours. This obviously knocked all of the toilets out of action.
Night staff weren't really told of the issue until near 4am. As the morning shift came in they were all gathered to be told of the issue, however bottled water would be provided if requested and if they needed to use a toilet, they should clock out and go to a nearby shop/house and then come back.

After staff argued, they did concede that due to no working toilets on site that staff were not under obligation to stay. I have no idea how many of them left yet, but I do know just after 7 they got the water working again and were frantically trying to call people to tell them to come back to work.

[Lofty]

Contrast to my office the other day (owned and operated by Network Rail) where the water went off and as soon as they realised it couldn't be resolved quickly they ordered everyone to leave until further notice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

More ludicrous travel news. Our Russian has been put under pressure by the South Africans to make a trip to Russia, even though sanctions mean we are not allowed to sell there, and also the FCO (he is a British citizen) advises against all travel to Russia.

The outcome: he's going for two weeks to try and push business via middle men and other routes. Udachi. You can't get travel insurance or anything. I don't understand how this is even happening.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

Clearly warzones are great for business.

[Ian]

It's happening because you work for reprehensible twats. Not a new sentiment but it bears repeating.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Since found out more. He's going as a private citizen on 'holiday', flying via Turkey on his Russian passport. I asked him about the normal company travel insurance on a business trip, and he just shrugged.

Definitely not going to get tailed by the secret services of either country, so no one will find out what he's actually doing.

[Raoul Duke]

Genuinely mental and likely criminal

[Jimmy Floyd]

I asked him if he was worried about getting followed, as surely everyone going there from the West must be getting looked at currently. He said no, because he's flying via Turkey, as if this kind of devious scheme will definitely fool either the Russian authorities looking for traitors/spies or the British authorities looking for sanctions busters.

[Kikó]

That's outrageous. Your colleague is an idiot.

[niko_cee]

Whatever happened to the guy sent to the mine in Uzbekistan? Did he end up in a barrel?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's in Ethiopia first, then Uzbekistan and finally Bangladesh in late February. Great life.

My pitch at the upcoming round of individual meetings is going to be listen, you people are far too reliant on business from dodgy characters in dangerous shitholes and war zones. How about you increase investment in a nice safe market like western Europe where everything is transparent and the customers pay on time.

They'll never do it, because they're too impatient and greedy.

[Baz]

Whoever has the UK market, are they not absolutely smug as fuck?

Off to Kampala? Gutted, mate, I’ve gotta go to all the way to Shrewsbury next week.

[Shindig]

Is there more money in servicing a drug lord's tractor? I assume there must be.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The UK market is not really cultivated, it just happens, and three of us share the commission.

I think our theoretical biggest countries by turnover are:
Egypt (shut for the last year as the government doesn't allow dollars out of the country)
Saudi Arabia
Algeria (same as Egypt)
Venezuela (lol)
Russia (lol)

As such we still chug towards our goals using the rest of the world, but it's a bit of a struggle and incredibly stressful for those involved.

Being bought by South Africans hasn't really helped, because although they theoretically have capital to invest, they are so backward in the way they think about business. For example, I as a sales guy still do not have the ability to do or see any kind of analysis on the product I'm selling, who buys what etc. Too risky as I might print it off and leak it to a competitor, so I just have to guess, based on memory and anecdote, what is being sold where.

[Raoul Duke]

Is there more money in servicing a drug lord's tractor? I assume there must be.

Poppy seed fields don't grow on trees, you know

[phonics]

When I worked for DuPont I always wondered why we did all these deals with USAID that never seemed to bring in any revenue. I later learnt USAID is partly a front to place CIA budget and operations but it still didn't make sense why DuPont would give a shit. Now reading Jim's stuff I realise it was basically protection money for when we sent people to do exactly what Jim's colleague did and make sure we got paid.

[Gray Fox]

Sounds like I've missed an interesting morning at work. I'm told the place lost access to all water(drinking and toilet) in the early hours. This obviously knocked all of the toilets out of action.
Night staff weren't really told of the issue until near 4am. As the morning shift came in they were all gathered to be told of the issue, however bottled water would be provided if requested and if they needed to use a toilet, they should clock out and go to a nearby shop/house and then come back.

After staff argued, they did concede that due to no working toilets on site that staff were not under obligation to stay. I have no idea how many of them left yet, but I do know just after 7 they got the water working again and were frantically trying to call people to tell them to come back to work.

The people that left have today got to work to be told because they left it will go down as an unauthorised absence.

I really don't think they've thought this through.

[Ben]

Are you in a union? Seems like a union would down these cunts.

[Gray Fox]

Are we fuck. We have our own in-house reps, of which I am one, but we have zero power to do anything really. We've formally requested union on site before but as expected upper management said no.

I have a union membership myself, which has come in useful in previous situations, but that's really to a single person. I don't think you'll ever get the union recognised on site proper.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As an employee presumably on a very low wage I would definitely enjoy clocking out and going to knock on someone's door in the local area to ask to have a shit.

Without being too detailed, is this an outfit that you'd expect to behave like this by definition, or is it just that one or two individuals in management are bastards?

[Gray Fox]

Completely on brand for them.

There was a BBC show called "Life and Death in the Warehouse" and if you want an accurate depiction of the place, watch that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've read/watched a lot about shitty warehouse practices in the UK, interest piqued by the fact that our own warehouse staff are basically treated like cattle, but in comparison to the big boys we are guardian angels. The ugly face of consumerism.

[Gray Fox]

I'm told when this place opened, it was on the understanding that it was kept to as little automation as possible to keep a big employer in the area and to look great for the figures. However you can see at times the utter disdain they have at having to have people in the place. Those people might even have opinions!

A prime example is that there's currently pay rise talks happening. If we do nothing, as of April we will be on the new living wage which is £11.44p/h. We have asked for over £12p/h and were pretty much laughed out of the room.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What are the other employment options in the area? Any call centres etc or industry? In the current employment climate I'm genuinely amazed that these places are so unwilling to pay anything other than the absolute bare minimum. The times of plenty should be over for employers, unless you're in a region / locale with absolutely no alternatives.

[Manc]

That is a big dick move right there Manc, not sure I'd endorse it but if your company claims they care about staff in any way shape or form I'll be very curious to see what they do.

Six weeks off at this point fully paid. Mugs.

[Boydy]

Are we fuck. We have our own in-house reps, of which I am one, but we have zero power to do anything really. We've formally requested union on site before but as expected upper management said no.

I have a union membership myself, which has come in useful in previous situations, but that's really to a single person. I don't think you'll ever get the union recognised on site proper.

Are companies allowed to refuse a union?

[niko_cee]

Don't they have some thing where X percent of the workforce have to vote to have the union, and they just hire in loads of votes to scupper that kind of thing whenever anyone tries it? I'm sure it was on that Amazon thing with the internet prankster with a stupid name.

[Giggles]

Are companies allowed to refuse a union?

Companies can do what they like if they use the right tactics.

[Lofty]

Meanwhile on the railway my company took a big loss on a load of tablets they bought years ago, the idea being they could save printing out loads of sheets that train drivers need and issue them electronically. The stumbling block came when the driver's union asked who was paying for the electricity to charge these devices :D

[niko_cee]

Do trains not have plug sockets these days?

[Waffdon]

The drivers union sound like right fannies.

[Lofty]

The train drivers union have secured their lads nearly £60k a year for 35 hours a week with that attitude.

[Giggles]

:cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The train drivers union have secured their lads nearly £60k a year for 35 hours a week with that attitude.

Train drivers have that salary thanks to the leverage of the fact that they drive trains, it isn't some unique ballsy attitude. If Gray Fox's warehouse colleagues took the same attitude they (probably) would all be fired. Which, incidentally, is one of the reason why wages are criminally low. There is no leverage in a consumer society. You can just buy it cheaper somewhere else, where the sweatshop conditions are worse.

[Shindig]

Now I'm wondering how much freight pays? Do some of the commuter rail drivers get enticed into that work regularly?

[Lofty]

You are of course right, Jim, but I could write a 5000 word essay on what else they have secured by being intransigent, often nothing to do with driving trains.

Freight pays more but the industry had a shakeup a while back and a lot of drivers left. At one point a lot of companies let drivers choose to defer overtime payments in favour of receiving a 'happy cheque' lump sum at the end of the financial year. A lot of passenger drivers jumped ship to freight at one point but a lot came back and others wanted to come back and can't (undesirable record etc). Freight pays/paid a lot but the work is mainly weekend/night time so you can end up being a bit of ghost socially or family wise which some people can't handle.

[Raoul Duke]

Train drivers have that salary thanks to the leverage of the fact that they drive trains, it isn't some unique ballsy attitude. If Gray Fox's warehouse colleagues took the same attitude they (probably) would all be fired. Which, incidentally, is one of the reason why wages are criminally low. There is no leverage in a consumer society. You can just buy it cheaper somewhere else, where the sweatshop conditions are worse.

You can make the same point (the opposite way) about teachers. Because they're all in it "for the good of the kids", they'll always cave. Hence they end up working 700 hours a week for buttons when they could hold the entire country to ransom if they weren't absolute fannies

[Jimmy Floyd]

A fair point. Widespread WFH has been a hammer blow to teachers I think on a number of fronts, but one of them is that many families will have an adult at home (or with the option to be at home) during a hypothetical teachers' strike.

[Lewis]

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/awarding-qualified-teacher-status-to-overseas-teachers/a-fairer-approach-to-awarding-qts-to-overseas-teachers--2

Good luck teachers.

[Gray Fox]

What are the other employment options in the area? Any call centres etc or industry? In the current employment climate I'm genuinely amazed that these places are so unwilling to pay anything other than the absolute bare minimum. The times of plenty should be over for employers, unless you're in a region / locale with absolutely no alternatives.

I've not really looked too hard to be honest. I've lived most of my life before this job on better paid, but agency work at various production lines. Which has the obvious downsides. When the kids arrived, an easy 40 hour a week job with a permanent contract was much the better option. The Mrs is however now in the working world and as such the time to move on is close.
I do know there is direct competition who all pay better than our place at several sites within a stones throw though.


Are companies allowed to refuse a union?

The union in a case where numbers are unclear on site, can ask to be officially recognised anyway, but no employer will willingly let them set up shop.


Don't they have some thing where X percent of the workforce have to vote to have the union, and they just hire in loads of votes to scupper that kind of thing whenever anyone tries it? I'm sure it was on that Amazon thing with the internet prankster with a stupid name.

It is usually 50% + 1 person, however we have loads of agency guys in, so the number changes daily and would be impossible to pin down, even if they wanted to, which they wouldn't.


Companies can do what they like if they use the right tactics.

Giggles knows the score.


Train drivers have that salary thanks to the leverage of the fact that they drive trains, it isn't some unique ballsy attitude. If Gray Fox's warehouse colleagues took the same attitude they (probably) would all be fired. Which, incidentally, is one of the reason why wages are criminally low. There is no leverage in a consumer society. You can just buy it cheaper somewhere else, where the sweatshop conditions are worse.

Yeah I even know the clause in the policy that would have anyone fired for suggesting a strike or any kind of action. Anyone trying to drum it up would be seen as "inciting a riot" and be dismissed.

[Pepe]

Homeschooling is where it's at.

[Raoul Duke]

Yep, because everyone homeschooled isn't absolutely weird as fuck as an adult

[Lofty]

My mental Dad and his mental hippy ex girlfriend are homeschooling their kid, she homeschooled her previous 2 and they are completely fucked. No doubt the cycle will repeat itself, you can tell the kid is completely starved of attention from other children because he's constantly stuck with adults all day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

More ludicrous travel news. Our Russian has been put under pressure by the South Africans to make a trip to Russia, even though sanctions mean we are not allowed to sell there, and also the FCO (he is a British citizen) advises against all travel to Russia.

The outcome: he's going for two weeks to try and push business via middle men and other routes. Udachi. You can't get travel insurance or anything. I don't understand how this is even happening.

Currently in his office where I can hear them talking about how the Russian is going to get his hands on enough roubles to get through the trip, as major cards don't work in Russia.

The reason they're talking about it in his office is they don't want to do so on email 'because it's about Russia' i.e. they don't want a written record of sanctions-busting. This is one of the most moronic things I've ever heard.

[Lofty]

Yes sending him with a paper thin cover story and no electronic paper trail explaining his reasons for travelling won't arouse suspicion. He'll be getting his knackers electrocuted every hour on the hour come Easter Sunday.

[Spikey M]

My mental Dad and his mental hippy ex girlfriend are homeschooling their kid, she homeschooled her previous 2 and they are completely fucked. No doubt the cycle will repeat itself, you can tell the kid is completely starved of attention from other children because he's constantly stuck with adults all day.

I remember seeing some Yank documentary about homeschooled kids. I wish I could remember what it's called, because it's hilarious. The best bit was the parents trying to get around the social isolation by arranging play-dates with other homeschooled kids and it was just a collection of various wingnuts, from Doomsday Preppers to Hyper-religious throwbacks and Far-right loonies trying desperately to get along despite their only unifying characteristic being that they're all contrarian arseholes that are scared of society.

[Waffdon]

You can make the same point (the opposite way) about teachers. Because they're all in it "for the good of the kids", they'll always cave. Hence they end up working 700 hours a week for buttons when they could hold the entire country to ransom if they weren't absolute fannies

Teachers are hardly on peanuts. My missus is on £40k+ at 24, I’ll take that lol

[Pepe]

Should be 10x that.

[randomlegend]

Teacher pay is shit for the hours.

[Boydy]

Teachers are hardly on peanuts. My missus is on £40k+ at 24, I’ll take that lol

Scotland is the best paying area of the UK for teacher salaries AFAIK. NI is the worst, the starting salary here is about 24k.

[Spikey M]

I'd need a six figure salary to even consider it as a job.

[Pepe]

NEW DATA: 5,800 teachers received emergency licenses during the pandemic.

Their students showed the same����exact����growth����in reading and math as their traditionally trained counterparts

Why do we still have university teacher prep programs exactly?

Lol.

https://twitter.com/MrDanielBuck/status/1745133399923437784

[Don]

Seems like a job primed for automating with ChatGPT, dirty hours my arsehole.

[Baz]

Someone I have many meetings with and meet in person a few times a year and always enjoy speaking to, was drinking out of a mug with a Palestine flag on today, the posing little gimp.

[Baz]

Been stressing quite relentlessly about my upcoming apprenticeship final assessment and just has this lovely motivational message from TTH’s favourite sidekick:


You'll do it you know you will. You are the most unarsed laziest work man I've ever met yet your work is always done and on top form it's bizarre never known someone to be excellent at their job working 1 hour per day

Perfect summary. :baz:

[Lewis]

Alright flower he's got a family at home.

[Dark Soldier]

News of pay rise today. 8% from April. Had 15% last year due to Covid and cost of living. Not even been here 2 years and wage has increased 23% lol

What a place.