The All New Jobs Thread

[Baz]

Never seen it.

[Panda Bear]

We had a new guy start in August as a designer. He's got plenty of experience, but his work was very "good, not great". But there was enough there to suggest he could become very good with the right guidence.

3 months later he's absolutely hopeless. His work is abysmal, and he works at a snail's pace. He's also got a really wierd habbit of sending instant messages over Discord as if they were an email - including a "Kind regards" sign off on every message. After a few days of seeing how the rest of us communicate, I thought he would've realised by now. What makes it worse is that he seems to spend between 5 and 10 minutes typing these messages out every time you ask him a simple question.

He had his review 2 weeks ago where I outlined all of the ways he was underperforming, but he's getting worse, if anything. He's somehow managed to get even slower, to the point where a client has complained to me this morning. Sadly, he's going to have to go.

He's a nice enough guy, but the sort of personality that I couldn't be around socially for more than 5 minutes. Think Ned Flanders with a Brummie accent. Sounds anxious.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good news from the big boss this morning. The milk deliveries have been cancelled and from now on we will be using powdered milk for our tea and coffee.

[Ian]

Is powdered milk a bit grim?

It sounds like it'd be a bit grim.

[Giggles]

It has no cooling properties unlike milk so it's very grim.

[niko_cee]

Straight from fresh to powdered with no UHT stop in between? Brutal. Unless you were already consigned to UHT, which probably makes the move less of a blow.

[Spikey M]

Very Margaret Thatcher. They'll be coming for the Bitcoin Miners next.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Straight from fresh to powdered. Apparently it's not a cost thing, he dislikes the aesthetic of having milk containers around.

I always find this sort of thing remarkable from any boss. What does it achieve other than making them hate you? 'No, Smithers, make them drink the shittest milk on the market'.

[Yevrah]

Powdered milk? Fucking hell. :D

I assume you'll be reinstating actual milk when you're running the show Jim? So on the plus side they've set you up for an instant win with the troops.

[SvN]

Aren't you keeping milk in a fridge? Why are containers lying around?

[Spikey M]

he dislikes the aesthetic of having milk containers around.


Continuing the Mr Burns theme, are you sure this isn't a "shave those sideburns" moment? Because this seems extremely odd.

[Ian]

"I TOLD YOU TO GET RID OF THOSE MILK CARTONS! YOU'RE FIRED!"

If it's genuinely not a cost-cutting measure he's just not fessing up to them lol.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aren't you keeping milk in a fridge? Why are containers lying around?

There are crates that the bottles come in, which are kept in the corner of the kitchen and then get taken away again with the empty bottles inside.

Beyond the pale/pail, obviously.

[Foe]

You going to take in your own milk in a disposable plastic bottle or water bottle?

Or just accept it out of spite.

Total dick move though, literally a “I don’t give a shit about your welfare scenario” but I suppose most public roles wouldn’t provide that stuff (teachers, council etc) just annoying you had it and lost it.

[Don]

We sure he's not just trying to save his cretinous staff from themselves? Bad enough killing the fucking planet but at least do it for the sake of a porridge, not to ruin a cup of tea.

[niko_cee]

Knew it wouldn't be long before a black tea earl grey and lemon wanker rolled in.

[Don]

My guy came in with the lemon too. Verified don :cool:

[Lofty]

Powdered milk, I had it once while visiting an ancient relative and it was quite terrible. Our work still supplies tea, coffee, milk and different flavours of cordial (diluting juice to the knuckle draggers).

[igor_balis]

All the eastern European shops here have random imported UHT milk brands. I understand being homesick and the way British immigrants in Spain stick to Carling and fry ups, but some fella from Lodz eschewing full fat or semi-skimmed and insisting on getting the Laciate mleko from the Polski Sklep must be a symptom of some sort of brain injury.

[Lofty]

Yeah that's bollocks, she sounds thicker than our fit grad girl from a while back who was genuinely an idiot coasting on her attractiveness. She once took a call and decided to spell something using phonetics for clarity, except she didn't know phonetics (literally a daily usage in our industry, a tested requirement in some roles) so just freestyled it, much to the amusement of those around her. N for Netflix and S for Simpsons were highlights.

This girl is about to be made manager of a major UK railway station somehow.

[Lewis]

S for Seething. :harold:

[Don]

"Oh, but she used Netflix for N."

Fuck off, you gammon.

No but seriously, linkage.

[Shindig]

This girl is about to be made manager of a major UK railway station somehow.

York won't know what hit it. 9/11 with trains.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

All the eastern European shops here have random imported UHT milk brands. I understand being homesick and the way British immigrants in Spain stick to Carling and fry ups, but some fella from Lodz eschewing full fat or semi-skimmed and insisting on getting the Laciate mleko from the Polski Sklep must be a symptom of some sort of brain injury.
Laciate mleko is horrendous too.

[Kikó]

I actually prefer the long life milk to fresh.

[Giggles]

First day back and this :face:


1463400891243925505

[Spikey M]

First day back and this :face:


1463400891243925505

Ouch. Still, could be worse. You could think this is a fair position:


I actually prefer the long life milk to fresh.

What have Ze Germanz done to my boy?

[Giggles]

That's just proof he's a wrongun.

[Manc]

The master plan of lolling my way to an early retirement has hit a bump in the road. Passed up for an interview for a job I was odds on to secure. My rep may not recover.

I'm back in the game.

[Spikey M]

Terrible time of year to be forced into prostitution.

[Ian]

:D

[Lofty]

S for Seething. :harold:

L for Lol, wouldn't be doing that shit it's stress city. Unless you're too thick to get stressed. The unsuccessful candidates though :D

[Kikó]

Ouch. Still, could be worse. You could think this is a fair position:



What have Ze Germanz done to my boy?

I liked it before Germany. It lasts longer and it lets you stock up. I'm more of an alternative milk hipster anyway so no real difference.

[igor_balis]

Tbf as I just open my hatch and pour down my coffee in 10 seconds most mornings, switching to skimmed or just making happy shopper instant cooled down with tap water would probably be a sensible calorie and money save, but I prefer to hold onto the dream of waking up more than 30 minutes before I leave the house and luxuriously savouring my morning coffee.

[Manc]

Terrible time of year to be forced into prostitution.

DM for rates xxx

[Giggles]

Tbf as I just open my hatch and pour down my coffee in 10 seconds most mornings, switching to skimmed or just making happy shopper instant cooled down with tap water would probably be a sensible calorie and money save, but I prefer to hold onto the dream of waking up more than 30 minutes before I leave the house and luxuriously savouring my morning coffee.

Could you not bring it with you?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've tried all sorts of morning routines involving better coffee, but ultimately (at least in an office job requiring a relentless daily 8.30 start on site and unpredictable SW London traffic) have accepted that an extra half hour's sleep trumps them all. As such the move to powdered milk hits even harder.

[Spikey M]

DM for rates xxx

Have you gone up then? Fucking Brexit.

[igor_balis]

About a year ago, my boss and a colleague (both middle aged women without much grasp of technology) went to another charity and were shown this demo of this scanner software , which theoretically makes processing cheque donations faster and more accurate.

They paid 30k for it, and it slowly dawned on them that it's basically not fit for purpose for our forms, cus ours have far more variance, whereas the other charity used largely uniform ones, so the scanning fields work regardless of the form. A distinction that wasn't picked up before they dropped thirty grand on it, cus you know, it's like if your mum went to have a look.

I was in a different mini department so only knew in vague details of the situation, but it's now my remit to use this software and it's absolutely fucking useless. They had a previous system that was ten times more efficient, but obviously we're being made to use this piece of shit , because my boss doesn't want to get a bollocking for buying snake oil. The only plus side is that I've figured out a way to make it a lot more efficient and less shit in the two weeks I've been using it, but it begs the question of what the fuck my mate was doing when he was on that process for 9 months (which must have included about ten hours or so of Teams calls with the technician from the software company).

At least after the best part of a decade in full time employment, I finally have a non-bullshit answer for those "give an example of a time you have thought outside the box/improved something in your job" competency questions when I apply for a job somewhere else.

[Spikey M]

Do these time-saving, money-saving mega contraptions ever actually work?

Over the last year we have changed from using work mobile phones for calls, to using a headset connected to the computer. It's shit. Terrible lag, robotic voices, constantly cutting out. Shit.

We've also changed our payment system so that people have to type their card details into their phone rather than just fucking reading them to me. That's horseshit too. It takes about 2 minutes just to connect to the fucking thing, which is a long time to listen to sighing, huffing and repeated "is it ready?" questions.

Just leave things alone.

See? Told you I was old.

[igor_balis]

I think they can, but from experience the way companies decide to go with them is based largely on dopey managers having a budget to spend and getting charmed by some salesperson, without any proper consideration of the practical implementation. The managers usually don't have any understanding of the processes they're supposed to oversee (and yeah fair enough, you're paid to manage, not to do the actual donkey work), but you'd think it might help to, you know, consult the people who actually do the stuff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Those sorts of changes are just managers trying to do something to justify their jobs.

[Lofty]

We actually have the opposite issue at our spot where a former employee who wasn't great at the job but was an excel whizz made a program to make life easier. He foolishly did it all with company computers on company time so despite him losing the battle to adopt it officially (and him get paid for it) the program still exists and is used by us today. He has since gone to a consultancy company and made a super duper official version that he keeps trying to sell us for £50k (presumably to licence it for 12 months) but the resistance from our old hand managers is strong.

[Ian]

Those sorts of changes are just managers trying to do something to justify their jobs.

And their budgets.

[Raoul Duke]

We've also changed our payment system so that people have to type their card details into their phone rather than just fucking reading them to me. That's horseshit too. It takes about 2 minutes just to connect to the fucking thing, which is a long time to listen to sighing, huffing and repeated "is it ready?" questions.

That's a security compliance thing because then you're not able to see the customer's payment details in full so reduces the risk from scams. It should work better, but the concept is solid

[Spikey M]

That's a security compliance thing because then you're not able to see the customer's payment details in full so reduces the risk from scams. It should work better, but the concept is solid

It is. The system is shit though. At my old work you just forwarded them onto an automated system to pay and off they fucked. I'm sure that was shit too, but I didn't have to hear about it so it was all gravy, baby (so fucking old).

[Jimmy Floyd]

The boss (the boss) has been back to see one of the customers we visited on the Spanish road trip (Antonio, our biggest customer). Apparently they've had a massive bust-up which resulted in the Spaniard's Dutch sales rep waving his papers in the air and shouting. The boss then rang me and said 'That Dutchman is a cunt' before ringing off again immediately.

I have had some interesting realisations from this whole sequence of events. The British, as a race, are all about commerce and expansion. It's how we built an empire and it's how we're still pretty relevant in the world. Our ambition is essentially limitless. If we do £100,000 a year with this guy, our culture absolutely demands that next year we strain to expand that to £125,000. Growth, for us, is everything - we are not happy with standing still. In short, we are indeed a nation of shopkeepers, as Napoleon said. It is not enough just to do business; we must do more business than previously. When we go for job interviews, we don't get asked about how efficiently we did our jobs; we get asked about whether and how we increased sales, expanded horizons, broke into new markets. Last year the boss did £2 million; this year the Big Boss has demanded that he absolutely must do £2.25 million or else why is he even bothering.

For Antonio, in the hills of Almeria, doing more business is not a good idea. In fact, it's an idea he hates, because he is Spanish and rather than living in this culture of constant expansion he lives in a culture where stability is just excellent, thank you. His business turns over a certain amount. It knows how to do that amount of business and has the people who can maintain it. When the English come to him demanding expansion, he is naturally uncomfortable. He ignores emails. He brushes off phone calls. The boss tries to manipulate him into saying he'll do an extra £50,000 next year; Antonio bristles and says he'll do £20,000, but really he means he doesn't want to expand at all. His son and sister work for him. Money comes in. Their lives are fine. Why take risks? Por qué complicar la vida?

About 50% of my job at the moment is trying to bridge this cultural divide, explaining to the boss why Antonio won't expand, and simultaneously explaining to Antonio why he absolutely must expand. It's basically an impossible task.

[Pepe]

Those sorts of changes are just managers trying to do something to justify their jobs.

That's it. When performance review time comes, you cannot just say "things are running fine, so I let them be." They have to say "I implemented x and transformed y" and so on. I see it with provosts/deans all the time. Useless initiative after useless initiative just so they can put them on their cvs and jump to an even higher paying job elsewhere.

[Ian]

This sort of attitude is why I'll never be a millionaire but I think I'm broadly with Antonio. I know fine well there is a point in my line of work where the extra money that would come with promotion is going to come with extra responsibility and hassle that I simply can't be arsed with and if I had a business that was keeping me comfortable I doubt I'd have the drive to be going "Well how much work would I need to put in to make an extra 10%?"

[Pepe]

Traitor.

[Spikey M]

This sort of attitude is why I'll never be a millionaire but I think I'm broadly with Antonio. I know fine well there is a point in my line of work where the extra money that would come with promotion is going to come with extra responsibility and hassle that I simply can't be arsed with and if I had a business that was keeping me comfortable I doubt I'd have the drive to be going "Well how much work would I need to put in to make an extra 10%?"

This is me. My manager keeps banging on about be going on courses and taking on responsibilities because she won't be around forever and someone will have to step up blah blah blah.

All well and good love, but I don't want your job. There's little I can imagine worse than being a manager and an extra 5 or 6 grand a year isn't going to make it appealing to me. I'd only spend it on shiny shit I don't need anyway.

[Ian]

I got asked by my manager last week why I didn't apply for a sort of intermediary manager role between his and my current one that came up.

I explained that actual management I can deal with but he seems to spend all his time on calls arguing with other people at our firm about the shite they're foisting on our team. Which I could imagine at least leading to some satisfying days when you managed to actually improve anything but given the shit we get just gets worse I'm not really seeing the incentive of progressing down that route here.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I'm shying away from the team leader stuff now. I just don't have the drive for it or need. I'm pretty sure I'm being trained on some phone stuff for my days in the office so I'll get reintroduced to giving the Great British Public a slight inconvenience.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Last night we were given the task of communicating the company's new bank details to our respective customers. We were sent a PDF which contains three sets of details (sterling, euro and dollar accounts) so obviously only one applies to each customer depending on their location. I did a big bcc email to each category making sure to triple check the right emails had the right details in them.

The guy who sits next to me decided that this was all too much hassle, and said 'I'm just going to send them all the pdf'. I did my best Sgt Wilson impression (as I often do with him) and asked if he really thought this was wise, as it would give the customers ample opportunity to read the wrong details and pay into the wrong currency account. He said no, of course it won't. I said well, it probably will. One of the sales managers heard the conversation, came over and agreed with me in quite strong terms. The guy ignored us and sent them the pdf anyway.

This morning we've already had I think 4 calls from confused customers asking in which currency they are supposed to pay. My man is now in the managing director's office taking an absolutely massive hairdryer. Haven't felt this smug in ages, but that's lazy idiots for you.

[Yevrah]

You'll be running the place Jim, mark my words.

[Spikey M]

Giz a job Jim. WFH obviously.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You'll be running the place Jim, mark my words.

All I have to do is somehow eliminate the 14 or so people above me in the structure and this could well come true.

The Grim Reaper should assist with about 3 of them.

[Raoul Duke]

All I have to do is somehow eliminate the 14 or so people above me in the structure and this could well come true.

The Grim Reaper should assist with about 3 of them.

If you're going to be a manager then you need to learn to delegate. Sounds like Spikey has his first task in his new role as the Smithers to your Burns

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Spikey can commit untraceable murders from home, then he's in.

[Ian]

Just stage it as an eviction gone wrong. Simples.

I'm sure nobody would question 14 of those happening in the space of a week.

[Spikey M]

There's not a CCTV camera in existence that could get a clear picture of my head. I'm in.

[Don]

Monday morning joy following a Friday annual leave backlog and a heavy weekend. The peace of death can't come soon enough.

[Baz]

I’m off today and tomorrow.

https://artsfuse.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/images.jpg

[mo]

I'm off today as well. Meant to be a TD day but it's been split up into after school sessions instead. Had to keep hold of my son until lunch time, but dropped him off now and I'm on my own until 6 :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

14 working days remaining of this year :drool:

[igor_balis]

Had an incredibly sensible weekend, lots of sleep, no booze since a pint of john smiths on monday, and yet i've had the most cack-brained idiot day in ages :moop:

Kept making stupid mistakes and could barely concentrate by about 3pm. Might as well have just got pissed anyway.

[Boydy]

I, on the other hand, had my heaviest weekend since Halloween and I still feel awful today. Might just give it up. I can't handle hangovers any more.

[igor_balis]

I, on the other hand, had my heaviest weekend since Halloween and I still feel awful today. Might just give it up. I can't handle hangovers any more.

You should have slept it off outside the venue.

My hangovers don't seem to follow much rhyme or reason, though draught beer seems to fuck me up worse than anything else. I have had a lot of stinkers after 3 or 4 pints of beer recentlyish, but have had nights having 2 bottles of wine and a few spirit and mixers etc and have been absolutely fine the next day.

[Foe]

I was on a stag down in Glasgow and drank more on Friday than he have in the last 2 years combined. Saturday at Queens Park vs. Kilmarnock hospitality was not fun.

On the plus side:
1. There is zero to none care for covid amongst the teen and twenties population in Glasgow. Also a very high proportion of attractive birds in the places I frequented.
2. I’m off this week, so have spent most of today festering.
3. Took my first ever lateral flow test and confirmed negative.

Think I’ll basically be in coast mode when I go back in next week.

[igor_balis]

Am off work but am receiving delicious updates from the weekly whole company zoom from my mate.

Head of IT announced the new lad starting in the entry level position, and some woman muttered "another bloke" very audibly. The v senior department head running the meeting tried to play it off as "background noise", but the it guy wasn't having it and said "no, I heard what was said, and no women ever apply for jobs like this."

People reckon the person who said it was this super senior woman on about 70k, so very easy for her to moan from her privileged position. Like, yeah, there should be more women in IT and other traditional male jobs probably, but it's not really fair to expect the IT guy to instigate societal change by employing a hypothetical woman that hasn't even applied. I imagine she's contributed roughly fuck all to getting more women in IT jobs, but probably once shared something on LinkedIn and commented "wow really inspiring guys!" which is basically the same as doing something right?

[Spikey M]

Ok Gammon. Bet you wouldn't have employed Sol Campbell or Paul Ince for the position either.

[Baz]

Can you work in IT if all you know is social media stories? No? Then shut up, women.

[Don]

Does she have 'she/her' in her signature? If not, pile in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My company is amazing in that literally every job is done by the expected gender. The board and directors are all male. The sales department is all male. The single marketing person is a woman. All the technical team are male (except the secretary), and all logistical/admin jobs are done by women. All expect one - the new chief engineer, who is a 23 year old blonde woman who every man in the company secretly fancies. Well, all but me.

[Ian]

Of course they all fancy her, she's about a quarter of most of your firm's age and they probably all still think seeing a bit of ankle is pretty racy.

[Spikey M]

You've missed a perfectly good chance to have a phwoar there. This is exactly what Quincy was talking about.

[Ian]

Sorry, good point, what I meant was DOES SHE HAVE BIG TITS, JIMMY?

[Giggles]

Why should it be a bird anyway? Best candidate.

[Baz]

Recieved this email today:


What’s £85 plus VAT (I don’t know what VAT rate is anymore)?

Kindest Regards,


:cab:

I replied saying VAT is 20% so it's £102, to which she replied:


Sorry to bother you and thanks I did recall the message as I’ve just googled it. :)

You are probably really busy having just returned from leave.


To repeat a famous quote from my mate after our Mike jumped into a swimming pool and splashed water on his new sunglasses, THINK BEFORE YOU DO THINGS!

Also someone who emails me regularly has this on every email, in massive blue writing before her name:


If I don’t send a reply saying thank you or if you have cc’d me into an email for information and I don’t respond, it doesn’t mean I am not grateful for your email, I am trying to be efficient and reduce our inboxes.

I'm not cut out for interraction.

[SvN]

We had a new guy start in August as a designer. He's got plenty of experience, but his work was very "good, not great". But there was enough there to suggest he could become very good with the right guidence.

3 months later he's absolutely hopeless. His work is abysmal, and he works at a snail's pace. He's also got a really wierd habbit of sending instant messages over Discord as if they were an email - including a "Kind regards" sign off on every message. After a few days of seeing how the rest of us communicate, I thought he would've realised by now. What makes it worse is that he seems to spend between 5 and 10 minutes typing these messages out every time you ask him a simple question.

He had his review 2 weeks ago where I outlined all of the ways he was underperforming, but he's getting worse, if anything. He's somehow managed to get even slower, to the point where a client has complained to me this morning. Sadly, he's going to have to go.

He's a nice enough guy, but the sort of personality that I couldn't be around socially for more than 5 minutes. Think Ned Flanders with a Brummie accent.

He's getting the bullet today. I've only ever had to sack someone once, and it was awful, mostly because the guy was just devestated. I'm expecting a similar reaction from this guy today.

[Giggles]

In fairness he was given feedback and didn’t buck up so he can’t have any complaints. A lot of places would just do you in the background with no warning you were underperforming.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Godspeed. Dropping your second body must be easier than the first.

[Manc]

Just in time for Christmas.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I was going to be sacked, I reckon now would be about the best time, assuming I had the financial means to get through 4-6 weeks or so. No better time for a new life than January.

[Spikey M]

Just in time for Christmas.

Homeless by Boxing Day. :(

[Giggles]

No better day to be living in one.

[Spikey M]

:D

What kid hasn't dreamed of living in a box castle in the park?

[SvN]

I'm paying him his December salary still, I couldn't bring myself to leave him jobless and penniless over Christmas.

[Manc]

A true man of the people.

[Giggles]

Fuck that, that’s no life lesson.

[Ian]

Some firm in whatever country it was at the time my dad worked for years ago decided the day to tell all their expat workers they were binning off their contracts was Christmas Eve.

By fax.

That really injected the Christmas spirit into the household.

[Spikey M]

Oooff. That's how you do it SVN.

[Baz]

Some firm in whatever country it was at the time my dad worked for years ago decided the day to tell all their expat workers they were binning off their contracts was Christmas Eve.

By fax.

That really injected the Christmas spirit into the household.I bet he regretted unwrapping his fax machine a day early.

[Raoul Duke]

If I was going to be sacked, I reckon now would be about the best time, assuming I had the financial means to get through 4-6 weeks or so. No better time for a new life than January.

I once had a month's paid gardening leave over the summer when the World Cup was on. Genuine high point that

[SvN]

Fucking hell, he just mentioned that he's proposing to his girlfriend at Christmas.

[Jimmy Floyd]

:D

Is that before he comes into the abbatoir, or during?

[Spikey M]

:D

[niko_cee]

:D

Lordy.

[SvN]

It hasn't happened yet. The plan is to call him into the meeting room just as we finish. Means he doesn't have to pack up his shit in front of everyone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So tomorrow morning everyone gets the email 'Please note that Mr Jacob Marley is no longer employed by SvN Enterprises' and he is never seen again?

[Ian]

Fucking hell, he just mentioned that he's proposing to his girlfriend at Christmas.

Oh no. :D

[SvN]

So tomorrow morning everyone gets the email 'Please note that Mr Jacob Marley is no longer employed by SvN Enterprises' and he is never seen again?

It will be an announcement/meeting rather than an email, but basically, yes.

[Spikey M]

"We wish him and his future suicide wife well."

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sorry, I'm projecting from seven years at this place and Korea. Direct verbal communication from management, that's unthinkable.

[Ian]

* Blue Christmas starts to play *

[Yevrah]

Good luck SvN, never a pleasant thing to have to do.

[Spikey M]

Good luck SvN, never a pleasant thing to have to do.

https://s.hdnux.com/photos/10/06/00/2121746/5/1200x0.jpg

[Yevrah]

I always find it goes better when you inject a bit of entertaining into proceedings...

[Pepe]

Can you live stream it?

[niko_cee]

You can literally see the moment his heart breaks.

[Boydy]

Can't you just put him on some sort of PIP for a couple of months or something? :(

[Spikey M]

Shinners will tell you PIP is a difficult benefit to claim so he'd have to really fuck him up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What's the return policy on engagement rings like?

[SvN]

Can't you just put him on some sort of PIP for a couple of months or something? :(

Honestly, I wish I could, I'm sat here watching the clock knowing that I've got to do it in just over 2 hours. But he's had 3 reviews already where he's been told how and where he needs to improve, and if anything, he's got worse. And he's only been here 4 months.

It's a fucking nightmare to have to do, but it's the right call.

[SvN]

Shinners will tell you PIP is a difficult benefit to claim so he'd have to really fuck him up.

This is superb :D

[Boydy]

Shinners will tell you PIP is a difficult benefit to claim so he'd have to really fuck him up.
:D

Lol

[Lofty]

Get down on one knee and hand him his P45.

[Boydy]

He's probably firing him right now. Poor bloke.

[Spikey M]

Poor form not providing live updates after getting us all to buy in like this.

[SvN]

Fuck me. That was awful.

Tears, begging for another chance, talks of financial peril, the works. I feel like subhuman scum.

On his way out of the door, he even had one final "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" plea.

[Spikey M]

https://youtu.be/zgPF5xtppTs

[Giggles]

You should have reached for your zip to see what the reaction would have been.

[Spikey M]

:D fuck sake

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck me. That was awful.

Tears, begging for another chance, talks of financial peril, the works. I feel like subhuman scum.

On his way out of the door, he even had one final "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" plea.

How do you sleep at night?

[Spikey M]

On a waterbed filled with the tears of former employees.

[Giggles]

How do you sleep at night?

Comfortably I’d imagine seeing as he requires competent people to work for him.

[Panda Bear]

phonics You're looking for a new position, right? I hear tell of a design job that just opened up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And then you can have your life destroyed a few months later.

[Lewis]

What do you say when you sack somebody simply for being shit? It must really blow your confidence to bits (as it should the mug who hired him).

[Ian]

"I love you, and that's why I'm setting you free to fulfil your full potential."

[Lofty]

The problem is interviews are inherently flawed. The amount of times I have clocked someone as a chancer/warned the relevant people about appointing a clown only for them to do it anyway because they aced the interview, only to shit at the job as predicted.

Interviews don't tell you someone is mental, they don't tell you someone is a lead swinger, they don't tell you someone is a tribunal waiting to happen. We once got a glowing referral for an internal candidate from their manager purely to palm off a tribunal timebomb on us, they interviewed well but were absolute dogshit at the actual job.

[Spikey M]

You really wanted that driver job didn't you? :(

[phonics]

@phonics (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=1) You're looking for a new position, right? I hear tell of a design job that just opened up.

PM me.

edit: didn't read the thread. whoops.

[Baz]

Baz would send a polite heads up email, and BCC in the company owner.:harold:

Like I said at the time, incompetence should not be tolerated. Glad you sacked him.

[Giggles]

Baz would send a polite heads up email, and BCC in the company owner.

With a dodgy affiliate link.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The guy will be fine. Jobs market is chocker at the moment. We're having to use nepotism to get half-decent people (kids of senior people at least have the motivation of not embarrassing their dad, whereas useless people off the street are just useless).

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Arab is taking us out for lunch for his birthday today (and paying). Slightly weird flex for the newest and most junior member of the team, but I guess that's Arabs for you. I'll take the free lunch.

[Baz]

Does he have nice shoes?

[Spikey M]

:D that is weird. Nice though.

[Don]

Teach him the ways of the gammon. Kindness, generosity and morals have no place in this society.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He was certainly in for a shock when he asked Bitch Alpha from the shipping department, who snapped back 'NO' upon the invitation. Then again she also once told the IT guy his baby pictures were 'horrible', so I don't think she's ever topping that.

[Shindig]

Yesterday we were emailed about a woman trying to claim PIP for their 7 year old. The claim was in the stepmother's name but the forms were written from the point of the 7 year old. In their mother's writing. "Someone told me I could do that." seems to be her response.

[Spikey M]

He was certainly in for a shock when he asked Bitch Alpha from the shipping department, who snapped back 'NO' upon the invitation. Then again she also once told the IT guy his baby pictures were 'horrible', so I don't think she's ever topping that.

She actually lives in London doesn't she?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's a bit of a character, this Arab. He insists on pronouncing John Deere as 'John Derry'. I told him that customers will laugh at him. He says he doesn't care, he finds this a better pronunciation and he's sticking to it.

He also poured around 60 cashews onto my desk earlier. He said he thought I would be hungry, as he's never seen me eating at my desk. Is this how people behave over there? It must be exhausting.

[Spikey M]

I got a kebab a few weeks ago and the supplier was in there at the same time. I had to stand and watch as they argued and repeatedly handed a £20 note backwards and forwards. Performatively putting it in each others pockets and hands and holding the back of each others heads.

"I can't take it from you brother. Keep it".
No, no, no. You must. Treat your daughter
"I WILL, I WILL, BUT KEEP YOUR MONEY AND TREAT YOUR DAUGH..."
BROTHER PLEASE HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU?

It was like one of those weird mating rituals the Birds of Paradise do. Utterly bizarre.

[Don]

Bizarre to an infidel, yes.

[Ian]

It just sounds like the same as what my mum and her friends would do when I was a kid over who was buying the teas or whatever if I had the misfortune to be dragged out with them.

[Spikey M]

It's all that time you spent in the desert.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The basic rules with Arabs seems to be that whatever the given situation, you maximise the drama, conflict and general spectacle. Sort of like the opposite of being British.

[Spikey M]

And that's exactly what it was. It is the whole "No you're alright Jim, I'll get these".... "No, honestly, put your money away" that Ian describes, but turned up to eleven and they're on the brink of actually fighting over who has the £20 and treat's their daughter.

[Pepe]

Are you sure that they were not trying to sell their daughters?

[Spikey M]

I didn't see any goats present, but I can't rule it out.

[Ian]

No goats present? What did you think was in the chicken kebab?

[Kikó]

Are you sure that they were not trying to sell their daughters?

Let's see if that gets John out from his retirement.

[Lewis]

The basic rules with Arabs seems to be that whatever the given situation, you maximise the drama, conflict and general spectacle. Sort of like the opposite of being British.

One of my colleagues helped re-build the Iraqi police post-invasion, and apparently the three rules of dealing with Arabs are 1) they all lie to the point where they wouldn't even recognise it as a lie; 2) every single one of them can be bribed (this overrules the first rule); and 3) at no point can they ever, ever be seen to lose face (this overrules the first two rules). If they lose face they are finished as community figures.

The Americans would go straight to bribes, get results, but then treat them like dickheads and undo what the bribery achieved. The crafty British would let them dictate terms and mouth off, but then go 'Yeah mate yeah you are right, but...' and contradict it all. That way they could go away and tell everyone that they had negotiated and play the big man, which seemed to get better results as they had to make an effort to preserve 'their' settlement.

[Giggles]

Are you sure that they were not trying to sell their daughters?

They’re usually buying aren’t they?

[phonics]

One of my colleagues helped re-build the Iraqi police post-invasion, and apparently the three rules of dealing with Arabs are 1) they all lie to the point where they wouldn't even recognise it as a lie; 2) every single one of them can be bribed (this overrules the first rule); and 3) at no point can they ever, ever be seen to lose face (this overrules the first two rules). If they lose face they are finished as community figures.

The Americans would go straight to bribes, get results, but then treat them like dickheads and undo what the bribery achieved. The crafty British would let them dictate terms and mouth off, but then go 'Yeah mate yeah you are right, but...' and contradict it all. That way they could go away and tell everyone that they had negotiated and play the big man, which seemed to get better results as they had to make an effort to preserve 'their' settlement.

This is like taking advice on how to manage a football team from Frank De Boer.

[Offshore Toon]

My Turkish boss in London was an utter lunatic, although at the same time incredibly loyal and fiercely generous to those close to him. He had an amazing month-long war with a bailiff over an unpaid parking ticket, which he managed to win through aggression and a world class level of misunderstanding absolutely everything put in front of him. The company was a disgrace but he also did a BBQ nearly every day for lunch and he was an incredible cook so overall it was worth the short stint there.

[Lewis]

This is like taking advice on how to manage a football team from Frank De Boer.

Four Dutch titles =/= successfully occupying Egypt for seventy years

[Spikey M]

The "Arabs alway lie" thing could just be because he's an ex-copper. I imagine ours would say the same.

About everyone, not just Arabs.

But probably especially about Arabs. :nono:

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn_PSJsl0LQ

[Baz]

How exactly are we defining “Arabs”?

[Giggles]

How exactly are we defining “Arabs”?

I can't say but I've said before.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Arabs are a thing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arabs

I call my man 'the Arab' because he has Iraqi, Jordanian and Kuwait all in him.

[igor_balis]

A year into a relatively cushy office job, I can't help but miss the diverse people I interacted with day to day in low-level customer service. I have very few professional skills, but being able to, ugh, "build rapport" and just chat bollocks with everyone across cultural and class boundaries is without doubt my best one, so I do feel like I'm a bit wasted being barely competent in repetitive admin. Are there any jobs where I can utilise this which aren't dead end, low paid shit? Sales is the obvious one, but I'm unconvinced I'm able to convert making friends with people into actually getting them to buy shit.

I suppose if worst comes to the worst, it's still a decent soft skill to have (and one which has definitely helped at times in my professional career, mostly in terms of being given a bit more leeway when I've been shite at my actual job), but there must be something, right?

I feel like something like business retention would be a good fit, but I also feel like handling existing contracts is something you get promoted to once you've shown your ability at getting new ones. Fuck knows.

[Foe]

HR.

Just don’t fuck too many of your colleagues.

[igor_balis]

HR.

Just don’t fuck too many of your colleagues.

Lolz, before I'd actually worked somewhere with a visible HR department that wasn't a distant, anonymous head office thing, it felt like a really obvious option. Since I've actually regularly interacted with HR people, er...well, they're not very similar to me. And I promise that those interactions have been casual payslip admin/canteen chats, rather than being bollocked for indiscretions.

[Foe]

Other one that springs to mind is communications, basically PR.

I’m just listing the talentless departments within my gaff where being a top lad would be beneficial.

[igor_balis]

Ha, it's appreciated. I know it's probably incongruous for most to see me bigging up my social skills when I come across like a bullshitting irritant on here, but I'm better at small talk with Maureen paying in her cheque than I am at cultivating a forum personality. For one, I wouldn't say absolute wank like "cultivating a forum personality" to Maureen.

[Adramelch]

Any type of consulting would also use said skill a lot, but it's not enough on its own to get you through the door.

[Manc]

Enigma.

Why did you give up on Banking?

[igor_balis]

Enigma.

Why did you give up on Banking?

Because of being a do-gooder liberal snowflake, I always felt like a massive hypocrite and found working for a big evil corporation quite depressing. It was alright being bottom-wrung customer service, cus you didn't really need to be proactive and sell people shit. Someone has to do the basic servicing like helping old people do mobile banking, show people how to use the self-service machines to make deposits etc. Absolutely shit money though, and any progression pretty much has to go through the advisor role which I have neither the skills or mentality to do. You're entirely judged on how many crap life insurance policies you sell etc.

I wouldn't have minded doing something like working in the complaints department etc, but I would have probably been fired or thrown myself out of a high building if i'd had to do the advisor job for more than a year or so, and it's difficult to get out of the branch based stuff direct from cashier div.

[Shindig]

I would've went through the back office route. That didn't seem too bad and you only spoke to customers when things needed fixing.

[Panda Bear]

Account manager.

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/a/account-manager.asp

You do it for, say, Jobber or whatever and your job is just hanging out with people and making sure they're getting what they need from the business.

[Baz]

Get Jimmy's job when he moves up.

[Bernanke]

Yeah any sort of account management or (non shit) "customer success" role seems like it'd do the part.

[Lewis]

I'm not sure that being able to 'build rapport' is a useful and/or in demand a skill in itself unless you are willing to use it swindling pensioners. Your best bet might be waffling your way through the civil service interview process and getting your foot in the door there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's mostly a mirage that salesmen like to kid themselves is getting the job done, when actually it's the product/prices. That said, better to have it than not.

[Lewis]

You hear that, greebo? You don't even really have it. Give up and write a sitcom.

[Baz]

Microsoft Viva (wut?) just gave me my “monthly digest” and all it was was


You did not respond to 55% of your meeting requests last month.

:sorry:

[Shindig]

I'm not sure that being able to 'build rapport' is a useful and/or in demand a skill in itself unless you are willing to use it swindling pensioners. Your best bet might be waffling your way through the civil service interview process and getting your foot in the door there.

It does have its values in our place. Half our claimants have heads that have genuinely gone. You don't want a suicide call on your hands.

[Giggles]

Microsoft Viva (wut?) just gave me my “monthly digest” and all it was was



:sorry:

That fucking email is impossible to block from your inbox. I’m getting a daily one for months from it too.

[Spikey M]

It is a pain in the arse. Useless too, it just picks up on keywords and reminds me to attend things that don't need attending and to "collaborate" with people that don't need or want a reply. Pointless bit of kit.

[Lewis]

It does have its values in our place. Half our claimants have heads that have genuinely gone. You don't want a suicide call on your hands.

'haha yeah, yeah... yeah... haha... anyway, you're going to have to starve for a few weeks while we...'

[Shindig]

It's more, "Hey, we have an appointment that's become available. Would you like to take it?" And then the lass starts strangling herself with the phone cord. We don't cut money off. The DWP do that.

[Lewis]

I got sanctioned by the rock 'n' roll once, and after :evictory:ing a few layers of management with my points I got told to take Iain Duncan Smith to court if I was that bothered, so I figured the approach was just to bamboozle/demoralise people into dropping it or killing themselves.

[Shindig]

I dunno what gave you that impression. :D

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/image_data/file/116509/slide-1.JPG

Whenever government tries to simplify or restructure state benefits, I always think it's about cutting costs rather than the claimant journey. It's clearly not put people off claiming but you definitely see people withdraw over the hassle.

[phonics]

I went down the job centre today thinking that they may know something about the local job market. Nah.

Them: "Are you here to sign-on?"
Me: "No, I'm here to look for some local jobs, maybe a bit of temp work while I look for something permanent"
Them: "We don't even have a job board anymore, if you sign-on we'll give you access to a 'work coach' and training courses"
Me:"So no local stuff?"
Them:"Have you heard of indeed.co.uk?"
Me: "Cool, cya later"

That's not a system to get people employed.

[Shindig]

They got rid of the job boards? I know it just regurgitates https://findajob.dwp.gov.uk/ but still. :D It's how I passed the time before my appointments.

[Boydy]

Surely the job centre isn't going to have much in your field anyway, Phonics?

[Gray Fox]

That sounds like a similar experience I heard during the dark times years back.

An older chap was in. He told them he struggles with anything tech related and so had filled out what he'd done on paper, instead of using their online system. The person(his "coach") behind the desk told him this wasn't good enough as it was part of the agreement he'd use the system. The guy said okay well can you bring it up on screen for me and we can look for some things for me to apply for. He was met with "Sir, I'm not here to help find you a job. I'm only here to validate your claim."

He went on to be told despite him bringing pages of stuff he'd written down that he'd done, because nothing was on his account, it would be sent for further review before his money would be released to him. There's a reason they need hired security in those places.

[phonics]

Surely the job centre isn't going to have much in your field anyway, Phonics?

I’m unemployed. I was just having a pootle about and stopped by. Weirdly thought the job centre might have like ‘local community centre needs someone to do 6 hours a week’ or something while I look for a proper job.

I don’t want your 40 quid a week, Boris, I’m fine. Just trying to fill my day so I don’t think about going to the pub at 4pm.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're looking for an employment agency. Or the post office noticeboard.

I once rang the dole when I was out of uni and didn't have a job, once they heard I had a degree they basically told me to fuck off.

[phonics]

I'm fine with finding a real job. I wanted a shit job to fill the hours and put some change in my pocket. Instead I could apparently make more just signing on and pretending to look for a shit job while I do the work of finding a real one.

It's an absurd system.

[Spikey M]

If you're out of work and learning how to drive a Forklift isn't the answer, then the Job Centre aren't going to have a clue these days. They should probably rebrand.

[Lewis]

I'm fine with finding a real job. I wanted a shit job to fill the hours and put some change in my pocket. Instead I could apparently make more just signing on and pretending to look for a shit job while I do the work of finding a real one.

It's an absurd system.

Ring the helpline and ask for the posh boy's hobby job department. You should get straight through.

[phonics]

Ring the helpline and ask for the posh boy's hobby job department. You should get straight through.

Didn't know 10 Downing Street and the rest of the cabinet had a public phone line.

[Lewis]

There you go, you aren't even trying. Sanctioned.

[Spikey M]

Didn't know 10 Downing Street and the rest of the cabinet had a public phone line.

They are surprisingly approachable. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-56937889)

[Gray Fox]

I’m unemployed. I was just having a pootle about and stopped by. Weirdly thought the job centre might have like ‘local community centre needs someone to do 6 hours a week’ or something while I look for a proper job.

I don’t want your 40 quid a week, Boris, I’m fine. Just trying to fill my day so I don’t think about going to the pub at 4pm.

You're much better off Googling your local community centre or whatnot, then calling them yourself to see if they need any help. Tories don't give a fuck for these people.

[phonics]

You're much better off Googling your local community centre or whatnot, then calling them yourself to see if they need any help. Tories don't give a fuck for these people.

I assumed this. I just stopped in on my way to Waitrose to see what the public services of the country were like a decade and a half into this great parties reign.

[Baz]

Nobody has ever been to the job centre and then to Waitrose in the same day

[Spikey M]

There's a fair chance the staff have.

[phonics]

Nobody has ever been to the job centre and then to Waitrose in the same day

I’m an enigma.

[Lofty]

Nobody has ever been to the job centre and then to Waitrose in the same day

Probably have on the rob.

[Manc]

Of the twelve occasions I've been requested to work from the office, I've only shown my face on three occasions. The seeth from the wider team is superb. Hopefully Bojo gives the WFH order today whilst they cry into thier meal deals.

[Shindig]

Has that got any chance to catch up to you?

[Manc]

Nope. I'm surprised more people haven't tried it on tbh. My manager hasn't even completed her induction.

[Don]

Some of us have a sense of togetherness and respect for our peers.

[Spikey M]

Poor fuckers. Must be terrible.

[SvN]

Christmas Party postponed :(

Amazingly, we won't lose a penny - we'll reschedule for the new year.

[Giggles]

Ours was rearranged to a better spot and the two I couldn’t listen to all night aren’t going but I wasn’t asked to the new one :happycry:

[Panda Bear]

Ours was rearranged to a better spot and the two I couldn’t listen to all night aren’t going but I wasn’t asked to the new one :happycry:Why would you have to be formally re-invited to the new one when it's merely been rescheduled? It doesn't make sense that you would be uninvited.

[Baz]

Presumably he’d declined the original.

[Spikey M]

So they're rearranging for the people that accepted. Just fire off a quick email saying "the new date suits me alot better. Can I come please?" and job done.

[Giggles]

Anyone originally not going were removed from any correspondance about the new one and they've booked the rooms for people now anyway. Not really pushed (and in fairness knowing me I wouldn't want to go when it came to the time) but I'd probably have said yes originally if I'd known the venue and lineup.

[Lofty]

Been told all the stuff we are working on which is massive volumes of data that needs sorting to tight deadlines right across christmas is probably not going to be used now, but we have to do it anyway :moop:

[Lewis]

We have been told that we can work from home if we 'feel uncomfortable coming in to work', but, with a couple of possible exceptions, we've all got far too much self-respect to go for it.

[Manc]

Impromptu half day + Monday off = glorious scenes.

[Shindig]

No change to the working patterns. I'm mildly annoyed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I just had a truly cringeworthy moment. My colleague and I were discussing a problem, and neither of us knew the answer, so matey said he was going to consult the Indian guy (at that moment, away from his desk) who knows everything. He said what's the word for that. I said the word for what? He said you know, those Indian guys who know everything. I said what, guru? He said yes. I'll call him that. I said don't call him a guru. He said why not? I said just don't. He said I don't understand, why can't I call him a guru? I said because, you know, it's difficult. You can call other people a guru, but probably not him.

So the Indian guy comes back, and matey steams up to him. Apparently I can't call you a guru, says matey. I'm not a guru, says the Indian guy. Oh well, I'll have to call you something else, says matey. What was your question, says the Indian guy.

Proper full-body cringe.

[Lewis]

You've got an hour to work 'curry favour' into a sentence.

[Baz]

Surely you can call him a guru if he knows everything. You’re calling him a guru cos he knows everything, not cos he’s Indian.

[Don]

I had a similarly dodgy moment the other day when I said a colleague had 'saved my bacon'. He was a dirty gammon and I a jew so I'd really landed myself in it.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's alright to call an Indian guy a guru (maybe not all the time and all Indian guys) if he does happen to know everything on the topic you were discussing.

[Manc]

Jimmy is properly out of touch.

[Panda Bear]

Don't worry, Jimmy--I understand what these colonials don't.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jimmy is properly out of touch.

Nope. You lot are.

If you call him a guru, you might as well be calling him an elephant walla. If you called someone of another ethnicity a guru - perfect.

[Luca]

Jimmy has taken “How Not to Get Cancelled in the Workplace 101”

[igor_balis]

Just googled "Guru Sunak" to see if any sketchy news outlets had used it. I was almost disappointed to see it hadn't been picked up, but I suppose it's a really shit and tenuous pun and anyone who would know who guru Nanak is would rightly be offended.

[Giggles]

Never knew guru was an Indian thing.

[igor_balis]

Never knew guru was an Indian thing.

Isn't Josh a bit if a giveaway mate

[Giggles]

Isn't Josh a bit if a giveaway mate

Josh is a guru? Is he Indian?

[Panda Bear]

Isn't Josh a bit if a giveaway mate Nothing's a giveaway to a man of Giggles' learning.

[Manc]

Interviews. :sick:

[Spikey M]

There's some Drama brewing at work as one of the top managers is going off on Maternity leave and her collection has clearly received a less than generous reception.

"We really want to give Jo the temporary sending off that she deserves"

"I know it's nearly Christmas, but please dig deep".

Now It could be Christmas, or it could be because she's a knob that breezes around being rude to people. I just hope the donated amount is offensively low. I might send 20p over.

[Yevrah]

Put coppers in it.

[Spikey M]

It's all being done by bank transfer, sadly. Otherwise I'd just tick my name and put nothing in. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Collections for senior people always strike me as bizarre. We all had to put in a couple of years back to fund a present for the big boss's 80th birthday, which was a large framed photo of all his staff, taken in the foyer, all wearing company hats/t shirts etc. We presented it to him in his office, he sat there looking at it for a minute like a dog looking at a Titian, and sent us all away. £10 well spent.

[Don]

I stopped contributing to collections since WFH. Fuck off, you melts.

[Shindig]

Yeah, presents for team leaders always struck me as odd.

[Lofty]

Every year my company expects people to volunteer to work friday and saturday nights to help with large scale events. There is no pay for this. It was observed by a senior manager yesterday that the number of volunteers this year was disappointing, immediately followed by a doom briefing regarding covid with no hint of irony :D

[Yevrah]

Yep, if someone senior is leaving of their own accord then they buy the drinks. If they're leaving because they've been pushed, well, you won't see them anyway.

[wullie]

I'm still not happy about this idea of bringing sweets in for other people on your birthday, it's the opposite of how the day should work.

[Yevrah]

I'm still not happy about this idea of bringing sweets in for other people on your birthday, it's the opposite of how the day should work.

Yep, that's absolute horseshit too. I get a gift I don't really want and have to go out of my way to buy cakes for an entire office to get it.

[Pepe]

I still can't believe you lot do that. :D

[Giggles]

One of the women in work hid the tub of roses we were left in from a supplier because two of us ate ones she wated.

[igor_balis]

Applied for a new job internally today. Was unsure about going for it but the girl leaving basically persuaded me to apply and spent an hour today making my cover letter less shit. She thinks I've got a chance of getting it and it sounds like barely anyone else has applied so who knows. I am a bit raw and lacking in some of the experience they want, but I think it's about 5 grand below the going rate for the job (but also about 5 grand more than I'm on), so taking a punt on me is probably about the best they can hope for. I don't think anyone else internally is interested, so I reckon I'll be against other people similarly so-so against the spec but with the advantage of #knowingtheclub. A binman in a corporate t shirt who knows how to use the archaic CRM basically.

[Shindig]

Or they'll pick someone outside the business. I fully expect our outgoing team leader to get replaced by someone not from within.

Also, what a shit day I've just had. Nobody's managing their own workloads at the minute because we've all got 4 fucking side-jobs.

[Foe]

Let’s not be dissing bin men nonchalantly. They’re an extremely valuable form of employment.

I’ve got three days left, and I plan on doing 0 work on the last one, so technically two.

However, we are currently working over a well and it is not going well. Entirely plausible it rumbles into next week and my lead demands I support it.

We care about people and mental health, except when their mental health gets in the way of production and then we care about production.

Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but will be an option interesting test case.