The All New Jobs Thread

[Magic]

You could just have no friends Boyd.

[Boydy]

You could just have no friends Boyd.

Wanna move to London with me?

[Pepe]

He has us.

[Boydy]

Just been in the chips thread and been reminded of another argument against London - no fucking gravy.

[Pepe]

You know you have to go. The moaning opportunities that place will give you can't be beat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I get to see Tarquin and Dave go to the Arsenal every week. It's proper.

Is Tarquin his new gay lover? I'm glad he's happy.

[Lewis]

Dave as one of those 'straight acting' gays who wears football like a beard. It all makes sense.

[Spikey M]

I get to see Tarquin and Dave go to the Arsenal every week. It's proper.

Tarquin and Dave are heading south of the river then.

[Kikó]

Dave as one of those 'straight acting' gays who wears football like a beard. It all makes sense.

Recent pic
https://www.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/8fc/0c/0d7c8a502a18a8a9224b82c64ffe953a.jpg

[Magic]

Wanna move to London with me?

Absolutely not. I will basically have a London wage this time next year except I'll be living in the glorious East Coast of Scotland, one of the top 10 destinations in the world according to Lonely Planet.

[Kikó]

It's nice to see it opening up now, can't be long until all the works are done.

[Magic]

It's nice to see it opening up now, can't be long until all the works are done.

Are you on about Dundee or my fragile mental state?

[Kikó]

You're mind is fucked. I'm talking about Dundee.

[Magic]

Disgustingly quiet day, so after my carpets were fitted I powerwashed the decking and went to the skip a few times. Treating it like a real public holiday. :drool:

Now sunbathing down at me dads.

[Boydy]

Did some calculations the other day and after rent, bills and travel, I'd have £100 more a month in Belfast on 20k than in London on 30k.

Still can't make my mind up.

[Spikey M]

Which city do you prefer? Would you miss that £100pm?

[Raoul Duke]

In 5 years time you'd still be on £20k in Belfast, but £50k in London

[phonics]

If you don't take it, you're a disgrace. Rather moan about life than do something about it. You'll be coming in on the bottom of the rung, you can get a raise ffs.

[Boydy]

Not entirely sure. I actually quite like Belfast these days so not as desperate to leave NI as I used to be. Dunno if I'd miss it but I just thought it was interesting as the idea of London is usually jobs and money.

Also, I was being conservative with the 20k job comparison. Would hope to be on slightly more here.

[Boydy]

In 5 years time you'd still be on £20k in Belfast, but £50k in London

That seems unlikely. The first part, I mean.

[Boydy]

If you don't take it, you're a disgrace. Rather moan about life than do something about it. You'll be coming in on the bottom of the rung, you can get a raise ffs.

If you've got nothing constructive to add, fuck off.

[phonics]

If you've got nothing constructive to add, fuck off.

If you want it in advice form:

Stop being a bloody pleb and take the job.

[Danny]

If you want it in advice form:

Stop being a bloody pleb and take the job.

:nod:

You can always go back if it doesn't work out.

[Magic]

Did some calculations the other day and after rent, bills and travel, I'd have £100 more a month in Belfast on 20k than in London on 30k.

Still can't make my mind up.

You mean you'd be £1000 a month worse off?

[Boydy]

What?

[Spikey M]

30,000 is 10,000 more than 20,000 so nearly £1000 more per month. If you don’t take tax and living expenses in to account like a massive idiot, that is.

[Danny]

30,000 is 10,000 more than 20,000 so nearly £1000 more per month. If you don’t take tax and living expenses in to account like a massive idiot, that is.

:D

[Boydy]

30,000 is 10,000 more than 20,000 so nearly £1000 more per month. If you don’t take tax and living expenses in to account like a massive idiot, that is.

Yeah, I'd obviously worked out the take home salaries first.

[Magic]

This self destruction is making me more positive by the minute. He'll bottle it and his mum will have to sue him so he moves out.

[Lewis]

You should take a punt on it. You can always go home or find something else if it's shit or someone chucks acid at you.

[Giggles]

Yeah as much as I'd say avoid London, you always regret stuff you didn't do more than things you did do even if they turn out shit.

[Spikey M]

For what it’s worth (probably not a lot) I think you should go for it.

I had to turn down a higher paying job because of my responsibilities at home not long ago. It was a better job, but the commute meant that I’d be fuck all help at home and as a consequence I’m feeling pretty stuck where I am.

You’re single with pretty much nothing holding you back. Go to London, give it a year. If you don’t like it, leave and move back home with a years experience in ‘that London’ to your name.

[Magic]

For what it’s worth (probably not a lot) I think you should go for it.

I had to turn down a higher paying job because of my responsibilities at home not long ago. It was a better job, but the commute meant that I’d be fuck all help at home and as a consequence I’m feeling pretty stuck where I am.

You’re single with pretty much nothing holding you back. Go to London, give it a year. If you don’t like it, leave and move back home with a years experience in ‘that London’ to your name.

His personality? Arguably a bigger hold back than children.

[Foe]

Can you enhance your skills in Belfast that would give you a better punt at what you want to do long term in London? Or is the £100/month sacrifice in the short term a lever to bigger and better opportunities in London, Belfast or anywhere?

I'd personally love to leave Aberdeen but if I moved to London I'd be taking a pay cut and it wouldn't necessarily help what I'm looking to do.

Do you want to chase a career? Or you happy to be comfortable? Sounds like that's your battle.

[Boydy]

Another thing I've been thinking is I would really rather finish my project and get the MSc over and done with by September and then start work rather than having to do it on a part time basis for next April. Coding all week at work then coming home to do more for my project on evenings/weekends. If I was to turn this down now, even if I couldn't manage to get a job in Belfast after I've finished, what's to stop me getting a different job in London then? I've got one already, it shouldn't be that hard to get another.

Don't want to sound like a big-headed twat but I'm pretty sure I smashed that interview. They told me I was the first person they'd seen that was able to answer one of their theory questions and they offered me the job about an hour after the interview.

Also, the guys who interviewed me seemed slightly weird and the office was really quiet.

[Boydy]

Can you enhance your skills in Belfast that would give you a better punt at what you want to do long term in London? Or is the £100/month sacrifice in the short term a lever to bigger and better opportunities in London, Belfast or anywhere?

I'd personally love to leave Aberdeen but if I moved to London I'd be taking a pay cut and it wouldn't necessarily help what I'm looking to do.

Do you want to chase a career? Or you happy to be comfortable? Sounds like that's your battle.

There are plenty of career opportunities in Belfast in IT.

[Baz]

He’s bottled it lads. No going back now.

Someone tell GS the good news.

[Lewis]

Yeah, stay and finish your project. Tell GS to start posting again as well.

[Pepe]

An MSc project should take like five hours to finish you waster.

[Boydy]

An MSc project should take like five hours to finish you waster.

Just cause you've got your phd now doesn't mean you have to come swinging your big dick around.

[Giggles]

Just cause you've got your phd now doesn't mean you come swinging your big dick around.

An American PhD.

http://cdn.kidscreen.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Sesame-street.jpg

[Pepe]

It is a bit of a joke, to be honest. But it got me a job so that's all that matters.

[Lewis]

I passed all the checks for a job I was offered in November, and they e-mailed me today asking when I wanted to start. I could move tomorrow if I really had to, but what would you normally allow someone to move across the country?

[Pepe]

:cool:

Will you be an engineer too?

I'd give yourself a month or so to find a place and stuff.

[phonics]

If you're working for GCHQ, will you be Snowden to my Greenwald?

[Lewis]

It's nothing like that. And yes of course I'll be an engineer.

[Magic]

You have no responsibility at all so I'd give you 2 weeks.

[Pepe]

Engineering Team:

In
- Boydy
- Lewis

Out
- Magic

What a transfer window we've had so far. :drool:

[Magic]

In:

Sigurdson
Rooney

Out:
Lukaku

[Magic]

Anyway who else is in #TEAMSALES?

Also I will accept technical consultants, pre-sales consultat and sales engineers™.

[Pepe]

*crickets*

[Magic]

Jimmy yes, telesales but I'll give you that and it's a good free transfer for us.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On paper we're not a great side but I think with good tactics and organisation we can get good results.

I must clarify though that I am not in fucking telesales.

[Giggles]

What the fuck is a sales engineer? :D

[phonics]

On paper we're not a great side but I think with good tactics and organisation we can get good results.

I must clarify though that I am not in fucking telesales.

You're on the phone dealing with people ordering things from you. You're in telesales, it's that or you're a customer service technician, your choice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We had one at the Koreans. It's basically a nerd who spends his life getting pissed in cheap hotels.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're on the phone dealing with people ordering things from you. You're in telesales.

That's not what telesales is. They phone me, I don't phone them.

[phonics]

Customer Service Technician, it is.

[Magic]

What the fuck is a sales engineer? :D

Someone who knows what they are on about and have to assist the lead taker.

[Raoul Duke]

I think I've got Maz and Adamski in my crew.

We're like an early 2000's West Ham team stuffed full of weird regens :cool:

[Spikey M]

Me and Shinners repping team demoralised Civil Servant.

[Raoul Duke]

In news that will undoubtedly make people seethe: as I'm on my notice period and have finished my handover stuff, my place has put me on gardening leave, which combined with my remaining holiday means I essentially have the whole of June off, paid.

:drool:

[Foe]

In news that will undoubtedly make people seethe: as I'm on my notice period and have finished my handover stuff, my place has put me on gardening leave, which combined with my remaining holiday means I essentially have the whole of June off, paid.

:drool:

That is magnificently timed. Jumping to a similar company?

I got forwarded a blue print from another region which is pretty rough reading. Shambles that one country gets it, whilst others don't. Obviously people are going to talk.

[Raoul Duke]

Similar role (bit of a step up) but different industry.

[Magic]

I think I've got Maz and Adamski in my crew.

We're like an early 2000's West Ham team stuffed full of weird regens :cool:

That is by far the worst. Banterless bellends and a bald coward.

[Shindig]

Me and Shinners repping team demoralised Civil Servant.

Our very own SAS.

[Spoonsky]

Am I the only student left?

[Spoonsky]

I passed all the checks for a job I was offered in November, and they e-mailed me today asking when I wanted to start. I could move tomorrow if I really had to, but what would you normally allow someone to move across the country?

What / where is it?

[Pepe]

Engineer.

[Lewis]

And it's in Portsmouth.

[Pepe]

Isn't Mahow also a student of sorts?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Am I the only student left?

No :moop:

[Magic]

Isn't Mahow also a student of sorts?

A student of life.

[Spoonsky]

No :moop:

Yes. \o

I'm trying to think what else we can bond over. I guess as a Liverpool supporter we've both had bad luck in the Ukraine?

[Pepe]

Spoons and 'how donning it together in a frat party. :drool:

[Lewis]

Yes. \o

I'm trying to think what else we can bond over. I guess as a Liverpool supporter we've both had bad luck in the Ukraine?

:lol:

[Boydy]

Spoon. :D

[Smiffy]

I'm still waiting to see if I passed the interview. I got an email saying it'll be early this week but I had nothing so I texted to ask if I missed out. I haven't and I'm still 'very much in our thoughts'.

I don't really know what I'm meant to do other than wait.

[Baz]

Just a few hours to go and then off for two weeks. :alan:

[Mellberg]

That's blinding from Spoon :D

[bruhnaldo]

Still can't believe you guys deleted my Jobs thread like this.

[Magic]

Another three been sacked. Manager and two of her staff. :drool:

[Spikey M]

Our ‘modernisation’ is on hold because of ‘budget constraints’. They haven’t even awarded the contract to develop this newfangled system they promised yet, and that was meant to be sorted in January. Ideally this all drags on until my next kid goes to school, then I can work normal hours again and leave for a better job. As things stand I’m stuck because no other cunts will honour my hours.

[Panda Bear]

Am I the only student left?I'm joining you this fall, so we'll graduate together in 2021. o/

[Giggles]

I'm off today and bored off my hole already.

[Baz]

I'm off today and bored off my hole already.I’m off and it’s boss so far. Played some FIFA and played with “the baby.” Got a blood test at 9:30 and afterwards I plan on veetibg my pubes and the cleaning the bathroom. :cool:

[Giggles]

I've no computer games except The Golf Club 2 and PES2018 which are both shite, or Virtual Pool 4 which I'd need to set myself up at the desk to play with the mouse. Don't think I could bring myself to sitting at a desk on my day off.

Going to service the lawnmower now which should kill half an hour.

[Magic]

I'm working. Plan to paint the decking today.

[Mellberg]

I’m off and it’s boss so far. Played some FIFA and played with “the baby.” Got a blood test at 9:30 and afterwards I plan on veetibg my pubes and the cleaning the bathroom. :cool:

Make sure you do it in that order.

[Giggles]

I'm done but can't mow yet as the air filter is taking an age to dry.

[Magic]

I fucking hate decking.

[Baz]

Even managed to get the car washed and return something to screwfix on the way home from the doctors. What a day I’m having.

[Giggles]

Fuck it. Off licence and a chicken fillet roll.

[Magic]

LOL so we've just replaced all the fuel cards. But instead of having them overrun by 2 weeks or whatever they've let them expire and there has been a delay in the new ones.

So that means we're all paying with our own money and having to claim it back.

Not only that, we can only fill up at Tesco with the new ones or Texaco. Hint: there's no TEXACO's in Scotland.

[SvN]

Again, we're definitely not cost-cutting.

[Magic]

Again, we're definitely not cost-cutting.

No they are, they have monthly 'cost-optimisation' meetings.

I do see their point though because they did waste an absolute shit tonne of money before.

[Giggles]

LOL so we've just replaced all the fuel cards. But instead of having them overrun by 2 weeks or whatever they've let them expire and there has been a delay in the new ones.

So that means we're all paying with our own money and having to claim it back.

Not only that, we can only fill up at Tesco with the new ones or Texaco. Hint: there's no TEXACO's in Scotland.

Just don't go anywhere until they give you cash for fuel.

Also, I've a Texaco Fastfuel card here myself but Maxol and Emo take them as well as Texaco. Not sure if either of them are in the UK but there might be alternatives that accept it.

[Giggles]

Here.

http://www.erouteonline.com/v7/fastfueluk/

UK Fuels also accept it as far as I can see from this, and the website also says Tesco and Morrisons.


There's a search of a 40km radius of Dundee.

http://i65.tinypic.com/2s8mds5.png

[Magic]

I don't know if it's a FastFuel one or not. Will find out when I get it hopefully this year.

[Giggles]

That's what Texaco brand theirs as anyway as far as I've seen.

I still wouldn't drive as much as a mile if it was coming out of my pocket. Claiming back or not.

[Spikey M]

I’m going on a 2 day course next week and have to claim my petrol money back after the fact. 40p per mile though. :drool:

[SvN]

Internet is down again. At least it's Friday.

[Magic]

Internet is down again. At least it's Friday.

Ours is flapping as well.

[Baz]

I have to pay and claim back. :thbdn: 9p a mile

[Giggles]

I don't even have to log the reg or mileage on mine when I use it. Get to go all over the country to more matches than ever because I don't ever have to buy fuel and it'll be coming with me on holidays to England too.

[Foe]

Bloody glorious in Aberdeen today and I'm off. Climbed a hill this morning and now cutting about town just getting some sun.

Really need to buy a house with a garden, assuming I don't get punted in this re org.

[Magic]

I'll give you one of mine.

http://i65.tinypic.com/30i7q4y.jpg

[Baz]

Trampoline.

I bet you have a fish tank as well.

[Magic]

No.

And FFS there's a fucking thunderstorm on it's way.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought there was meant to be DANGER TO LIFE STORMS over the last couple of days? It's been mid 20s here with 65+ humidity.

[Magic]

It looked like it was darn sarf and THE WEST that were getting it and now this cunt super storm appears out of nowhere? Fuck off.

[Baz]

I’ve just pegged a load of towels out so it better not rain.

#dadmin

EDIT pissed it down, they're in the tumble dryer.

[Magic]

It's missed us. :drool:

[Kikó]

I'm joining you this fall, so we'll graduate together in 2021. o/

Nonce.

[Magic]

I’ve just pegged a load of towels out so it better not rain.

#dadmin

EDIT pissed it down, they're in the tumble dryer.

:harold:

[randomlegend]

Just got my rota through for my first 4 months (provided I pass my resits...). No nights :drool: Being a special case has it's advantages occasionally.

Also get paid more than I expected.

[Lewis]

I start my engineer job on the eighteenth, and I don't know what the pay is (or what the hours are, or exactly what I'm doing). I'm going to live in my brother's empty house until I find somewhere to live though, so I will finally be living alone. :drool:

[Spikey M]

Don’t do a Harold on us.

[Lewis]

He seriously must have died.

[Spikey M]

He’s either snuffed it or he’s doing a life stretch inside. We’ll find out in 15 years for certain.

[Magic]

I start my engineer job on the eighteenth, and I don't know what the pay is (or what the hours are, or exactly what I'm doing). I'm going to live in my brother's empty house until I find somewhere to live though, so I will finally be living alone. :drool:

We've just employed an engineer to start on the 18th as well. :sherlock:

[Lewis]

Every workplace needs at least one.

[Spikey M]

Those sappy sales cunts couldn’t fit a WiFi Range Extender.

[Raoul Duke]

Pretty sure Harold was Tommy Robinson, so he's probably in the slammer getting felt up by nonces now.

[Pepe]

I start my engineer job on the eighteenth, and I don't know what the pay is (or what the hours are, or exactly what I'm doing). I'm going to live in my brother's empty house until I find somewhere to live though, so I will finally be living alone. :drool:

Who will take care of the dog now?

[Shindig]

I'm telling you, he's been dead for at least a year.

[Lewis]

Who will take care of the dog now?

My mother. She bought him a paddling pool.

[Pepe]

:lol:

[phonics]

Still in Hull?

[phonics]

He seriously must have died.

Did he have any last words?

[wullie]

Harold pre-empted the gammon thing by years with his meat posts.

[Spoonsky]

So has Boydy bottled it?

[Lewis]

Did he have any last words?

http://i64.tinypic.com/2f03biv.png

Oh shit. :|

[phonics]

http://i64.tinypic.com/2f03biv.png

Oh shit. :|

A couple of hours before the Vegas shooting. Just saying.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I checked in a while ago and he hadn't touched his fantasy football team after that date either.

We haven't had a davidbr-style message from his grieving family, so there's hope.

[Giggles]

In all seriousness he must have died.

[Spikey M]

And the cunts that wanted him banned are probably responsible.

[Baz]

Unban him. It’s the only true test.

[Magic]

Laid in to the business with the IIP milf today. Therapy.

[Spikey M]

My wife got told she’s either got to take redundancy or a role in a lower paying job today. We’ve got to find out if they will honour her maternity pay if she takes redundancy, as she’ll not end up with much extra if they don’t. Fuck sake.

[Kikó]

It's been pretty intense the past week at work. Project is supposed to be delivering automation and because it's brand new to most people, it's been a constant slog.

The worst may be over but we hit some issues at the end of the day trying to run the thing unattended. Constant kick in the nuts trying to get this right.

[Baz]

Im still off. Today I painted the conservatory ceiling twice and sunbathed a bit.

[bruhnaldo]

I'll give you one of mine.

http://i65.tinypic.com/30i7q4y.jpg

Why is your backyard like a triangle?

Better question, why the fuck do I imagine you all living in the rolling hills with quaint little cottages at the top of the hill 'just over there'.

[Giggles]

Hollywood.

[Spikey M]

He is a fanny but I don’t imaging him to be bald as well.

[bruhnaldo]

Well, I like to imagine you leave your jobs 'in the big city' and drive out to the country blaring "Castle on the Hill" the entire way so I'm just going to keep dreaming that if that's okay with everyone.

[bruhnaldo]

Like this, basically:

https://i.imgur.com/r4vB3Gb.png

[Giggles]

I eat potatoes and drink Guinness every day and own a horse.

I don't own a horse

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's because it's a donkey.

[Giggles]

They taste the same.

[Magic]

Why is your backyard like a triangle?

Better question, why the fuck do I imagine you all living in the rolling hills with quaint little cottages at the top of the hill 'just over there'.

It's on a corner.

[Giggles]

End of terrace.

[Spikey M]

End of civilisation

[Magic]

End of terrace.

No it's not a terrace.

[Ian]

Unban him. It’s the only true test.

You're the fucker in the slasher film who gets everybody killed when you unlock the door because the killer is 'probably gone.' You'll doom us all.

[John]

You're the fucker in the slasher film who gets everybody killed when you unlock the door because the killer is 'probably gone.' You'll doom us all.

He's more like the shitbag who acts a bit shifty the whole film before revealing with twenty minutes to go he's actually on the baddies' side.

[Shindig]

So, I laughed at someone's tale of self-harm today. I was reading about a claimant who committed self harm by pouring boiling fat on her feet. I blame TTH for this.

[Panda Bear]

So, I laughed at someone's tale of self-harm today. I was reading about a claimant who committed self harm by pouring boiling fat on her feet. I blame TTH for this.Did you genuinely find it funny, or were you simply unable to process the absurdity of the moment?

[Shindig]

It was entirely down to DavGooner's post prior to Liverpool's triumph in Istanbul. Without knowledge of that specific post, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

[Spikey M]

My wife got told she’s either got to take redundancy or a role in a lower paying job today. We’ve got to find out if they will honour her maternity pay if she takes redundancy, as she’ll not end up with much extra if they don’t. Fuck sake.

Maternity will be paid in full in one lump sum so a fairly tidy amount on the way (about 2 years pay). That also frees me up to work normal hours now, so I am starting to apply for jobs again. Only downside is I am having to consider London as I could easily get what we both earn working there. That would mean she wouldn’t have to work until the kids go to school and we could keep her redundancy to do whatever with.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do it for England.

[Spikey M]

On the London note, why do employers just put ‘London’ on their job adverts? I’m not going to fucking Fulham every day. I need East London to even think about it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The same reason West Ham United decided to put 'London' on their badge.

[Spikey M]

I get that, but ‘East London’ doesn’t detract from that, and it stops Tarquin from Berkshire wasting their time.

[Baz]

My mate sent me his CV. This is the very last part:


Interests
International Travel, Wigan Warriors Season ticket holder, Family Adventures, Fire Breathing, City Breaks, Gaming and Cinema.

:sick:

[Magic]

Interests should be forbidden from CVs. It's utterly irrelevant.

[Shindig]

If it's relevant, it's only for interview ice breaking and small talk.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can have it on there if it says something relevant about you. I have on mine that I run a cricket club, but not that I enjoy Indian food and the poems of Philip Larkin.

[SvN]

Most people see it as a section to fill out rather than actually having something worthwhile to say. 90% of CVs with it included just list the usual "Socialising with friends, eating out, cinema" crap.

[Magic]

I'm doing an 'informal' talk to a bunch of business owners that form a FEDERATION on Wed. It's supposed to be a high-level informative afterwork chat. It's about telephony. I'm doomed.

[Magic]

You can have it on there if it says something relevant about you. I have on mine that I run a cricket club, but not that I enjoy Indian food and the poems of Philip Larkin.

You could have shortened that to 'noncing'.

[phonics]

I work with a JIRA ticketing system for their requests and I absolutely love when people do this because I allow them the rights to change that status so they can close their own tickets.:

https://i.imgur.com/8Vi1k1W.png

Considering I'm not even going to look at what this request is for another 3 weeks, it is most definitely not in progress.

[Lewis]

My last week of dole scummery. Is working shit lads?

[Magic]

Yes.

[Mazuuurk]

You will hate it, Lewis.

[phonics]

Lewis will be sacked within weeks after telling his boss how he should actually be doing his job.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You lose time, joy and energy. Gain money and self-respect.

[Lewis]

I fail to see how a poxy job will do more for my self-respect than six Best Poster awards.

[Pepe]

Work. :sick:

[Spikey M]

Just got a 5% raise and a snazzy new Job Title. I’ll be carrying on in my current role but will be in and out of the office all day, which will put some noses right out of joint. :drool:

[Shindig]

You lose time, joy and energy. Gain money and self-respect.

Aye. Plus I'd have nowt else going on.

[mo]

In recent months we've somehow managed to appoint two new Deputy Heads (was one before like most schools, wanted to add one more and just employed both applicants) which left us with no assistant heads (one leaving, other two became deputies). Now bearing in mind we can't afford to employ enough TAs to actually go to lessons to support children who need it (kids have to go to the 6 TAs or whatever we have in the 'Learning Zone') or to pay teachers properly, today they appointed three new assistant heads. Pointless. We're a smaller school than most yet have the biggest Senior Leadership Team.

Still, if I do get an interview for Head of Year, the newly appointed Assistant Head on the panel may sway things in my favour at least.

[niko_cee]

I have a friend who was a deputy head over here (recently moved to the UK to take a job as a head teacher) and I had absolutely no idea of the layers of bureaucracy that the education system is blighted with.

So much money must be wasted on all that oversight.

[mo]

I have a friend who was a deputy head over here (recently moved to the UK to take a job as a head teacher) and I had absolutely no idea of the layers of bureaucracy that the education system is blighted with.

So much money must be wasted on all that oversight.

It's worse now with academisation - you have executive principals of Multi Academy Trusts (MATs) giving themselves obscene salaries because they can. I work in what seems to be one of the few remaining state schools and it seems to be less greed, but equally as wasteful.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, he's just gone to some failing school that has been eaten up by a nearby academy with a financial plan to implement.

At the high school he was at over here (probably what would still really be called a secondary modern) there were three assistant heads, one or two deputies, and then a head teacher. This model was largely replicated over the other 3 state schools I believe. Then you have the executive head teacher to oversee them all, and other non-teaching management bods as well. It just seems totally bananas for a place so small.

[SvN]

Insanely busy here. A designer has just been off for 2 weeks on holiday and has a huge amount of work scheduled for today. So of course they've phoned in to say their granddad has died and need the day off.

[Mazuuurk]

Hope you gave them a proper yelling.

[Ian]

Lewis will be sacked within weeks after telling his boss how he should actually be doing his job.

A guy at our work who was personally very nice but as a colleague was an insufferable, lazy know it all left and has been sacked for telling his new employer who to do their jobs/ run their company inside about six weeks. He also chose to leave on such a date that if he'd hung about an extra week he'd have been looking at about a £600 bonus.

He's the gift that keeps on giving.

[Lewis]

I've had seven hours of it, and living alone is the best thing ever. I'm almost in tears, like when Webly realised how much biscuit and milk action he had missed out on over the years. It's too hot here though fucking hell. I've pretty much been living in shorts since 2011, so I'm going to die at work. I'll give it a couple of days until they crack on that I'm indispensable and then see how flexible they are with their smart casual bullshit.

[Magic]

My presentation was applauded. Is that normal?

[Spoonsky]

I've had seven hours of it, and living alone is the best thing ever. I'm almost in tears, like when Webly realised how much biscuit and milk action he had missed out on over the years. It's too hot here though fucking hell. I've pretty much been living in shorts since 2011, so I'm going to die at work. I'll give it a couple of days until they crack on that I'm indispensable and then see how flexible they are with their smart casual bullshit.

What are you doing?

[Lewis]

Living mate. LIVING.

[Spoonsky]

I meant in your job.

[phonics]

I meant in your job.

He sells the TTH spreadsheet to third party advertisers.

[Pepe]

I meant in your job.

He's an engineer.

[Giggles]

He's an engineer.

That's what he said. Living.

[Lewis]

The job seems good, but I'm the youngest engineer there by at least twenty years. :moop:

[Giggles]

What sort of engineering is it anyway? Real or plugging in things?

[Lewis]

Exactly what Magic does, but without the loser non-engineering sales component.

[Giggles]

That's a win anyway.

[phonics]

Why didn't I book the morning after England games off. I'm an idiot.

[SvN]

It's happening at the end of today. Just drawing up the termination letter.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm going to miss him although he should have gone ages ago.

[Panda Bear]

It's happening at the end of today. Just drawing up the termination letter.
How much job security do you think he thinks he has?

[Boydy]

What was the final straw?

[Pepe]

The impending lawsuit. :drool:

[SvN]

Well my plan had been to get through the next project and then let him go. But in truth, that project isn't time sensitive, and the clients have said they're okay waiting for up to a year.

He's been an absolute disgrace over the past month. A catalogue of fuckups, some of which could have been very bad for us if we didn't have someone checking every single thing he did. And today he asked me for a chat, and said he was feeling unmotivated because he hadn't had a review in a while, and he wasn't sure where he stood with the company. Said he'd been a junior developer "for ages" and there didn't seem to be any signs of progression. The sense I got was that he's been after a review to try and negotiate a payrise, hilariously enough. In truth, I'd been intentionally avoiding a review because he was on borrowed time anyway - and couldn't see the point in putting in the effort for someone who was only weeks away from the chop.

Afterwards I sat and realised that it was benefitting noone to string him along any more. If he's not feeling motivated, and I'm unhappy with his performance, we may as well just call it a day. So at half 5, I called him in for a private meeting and did the deed. He took it very well - said he was gutted, he'd loved working here and thanked me. Couldn't have gone better, really.

[Giggles]

Well my plan had been to get through the next project and then let him go. But in truth, that project isn't time sensitive, and the clients have said they're okay waiting for up to a year.

He's been an absolute disgrace over the past month. A catalogue of fuckups, some of which could have been very bad for us if we didn't have someone checking every single thing he did. And today he asked me for a chat, and said he was feeling unmotivated because he hadn't had a review in a while, and he wasn't sure where he stood with the company. Said he'd been a junior developer "for ages" and there didn't seem to be any signs of progression. The sense I got was that he's been after a review to try and negotiate a payrise, hilariously enough. In truth, I'd been intentionally avoiding a review because he was on borrowed time anyway - and couldn't see the point in putting in the effort for someone who was only weeks away from the chop.

Afterwards I sat and realised that it was benefitting noone to string him along any more. If he's not feeling motivated, and I'm unhappy with his performance, we may as well just call it a day. So at half 5, I called him in for a private meeting and did the deed. He took it very well - said he was gutted, he'd loved working here and thanked me. Couldn't have gone better, really.

He'll mow you down in the car park tomorrow morning.

[Pepe]

He has something better lined up already.

[Giggles]

He has something better lined up already.

By the sounds of him, if he does have then he'll last about a month in it anyway.

[Pepe]

Chancers gonna chance.

[Spikey M]

Well my plan had been to get through the next project and then let him go. But in truth, that project isn't time sensitive, and the clients have said they're okay waiting for up to a year.

He's been an absolute disgrace over the past month. A catalogue of fuckups, some of which could have been very bad for us if we didn't have someone checking every single thing he did. And today he asked me for a chat, and said he was feeling unmotivated because he hadn't had a review in a while, and he wasn't sure where he stood with the company. Said he'd been a junior developer "for ages" and there didn't seem to be any signs of progression. The sense I got was that he's been after a review to try and negotiate a payrise, hilariously enough. In truth, I'd been intentionally avoiding a review because he was on borrowed time anyway - and couldn't see the point in putting in the effort for someone who was only weeks away from the chop.

Afterwards I sat and realised that it was benefitting noone to string him along any more. If he's not feeling motivated, and I'm unhappy with his performance, we may as well just call it a day. So at half 5, I called him in for a private meeting and did the deed. He took it very well - said he was gutted, he'd loved working here and thanked me. Couldn't have gone better, really.

Gizza job?

[Boydy]

What are you working on that's going to take up to a year?

[SvN]

You read that wrong. The project won't take a year - it's only about a month's worth of work. But their deadline for going live is in a year, so the pressure's off us, basically.

[Giggles]

You won't be hiring Boydy anyway.

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/O29gY2e.png

Jimmy thought he had it bad with the Koreans.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got done for coming in at 8.32 for an 8.30 start three times in a month, I think it was.

Never mind that in the same month I came in earlier than 8.15 about 10-12 times.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Poor bastard only wanted to skip the queue.

[Lewis]

From what I can gather here in civil service land you just round things up/down to the nearest hour.

[niko_cee]

Round down? Civil service?

[Boydy]

Yeah, you get in 9:20, you round down to 9:00.

[Panda Bear]

Get in at 825?

Got in at 800. Lovely.

[Giggles]

We had 2 minutes grace 3 times a month in my last clocking number. You had to stay an extra 15 mins at the end for the 2 mins though.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, you get in 9:20, you round down to 9:00.

Of course, silly me. I was thinking merely in terms of time worked, but I guess billable units don't exist in that world.

[Baz]

I got told off today for cancelling the last call. They can get lost if they think I’m getting home after 5. Boss gave me the “you’re paid til 5:30” spiel but I don’t get a dinner and I left at 8:15. Fuck you.

I do get home most days before 4, but that’s cos I’m efficient. Today they stuck me miles away from home with a really slow person. Frustrating. :yop:

[Boydy]

Why would you get a dinner when you finish at half five? :confused:

[Giggles]

Why would you get a dinner when you finish at half five? :confused:

Still should get some break from 8:15 to 17:30.

[Spikey M]

Why would you get a dinner when you finish at half five? :confused:

Because in spastic land dinner means lunch.

[Pepe]

Because in spastic land dinner means lunch.

:face:

[mo]

Went for two internal jobs this week - first one was head of year, where I aced the tasks but fucked the interview, so didn't get it. Today went for a much more junior position though and got that. It's only an extra £50 a month (approx) but it'll hopefully be good experience for when a head of year job comes up again.

[Baz]

Because in spastic land dinner means lunch.Haha yeah.

Was genuinely confused about the question.

[Lewis]

Yeah, you get in 9:20, you round down to 9:00.

I literally did that yesterday. My targets are 'notional' as well.

[Boydy]

I don't because I don't like STEALING FROM THE TAXPAYER.

[Lewis]

I'm important mate.

[Raoul Duke]

Started getting some stuff through for my new job, including invites to my induction and some IT training shit where they're gonna teach me how to use Office 365 :type:

[phonics]

I'm putting together this photo montage of a Womans HIV Support Group as it's their 25th anniversary or something. The photos are from 1992, there's like 150 people in these photos and only 9 still alive. Feels well morbid.

[Spikey M]

I thought HIV was (pretty easily) manageable these days?

[Disco]

It is, but that's probably not that useful to people who had it in 1992.

Actually, doesn't that make them a year late? You should do something that shows them who could have come had they done it on time.

[phonics]

It is, but that's probably not that useful to people who had it in 1992.

Actually, doesn't that make them a year late? You should do something that shows them who could have come had they done it on time.

Conference is once every 2 years. Not their fault really.

[phonics]

3 hour meeting followed by a 2 hour gap into another 2 hour meeting.

Love not getting anything done.

[Boydy]

But you still have time to post on here.

[phonics]

But you still have time to post on here.

It's a sad state of affairs but 10 minutes of posting on here is my version of self care.

[Spikey M]

I spent 2 hours checking Apple Serial numbers in a cluttered comms room earlier. Fuck you Apple.

[bruhnaldo]

Lady coworker: So how do they play the games at the same time? Are they like in different stadiums?

Me with a straight face: Well actually they do it all at once *grabs a piece of paper* basically you have two teams playing this way (draws a normal pitch) and then (draws another pitch making a "+") but the way they film horizontally you don't really notice as much, that's why they're on different channels. You have one camera filming "this way" (first pitch) and one filming "this way" (second pitch)"

Lady coworker: ooooommmggg that makes so much sense

I went on with this bit for another 2-3 minutes before I said:

Me: So you're joking right, you're just going along with the bit because I'm still going along with it, right?

Her: Shut up, are you serious?

[Spoiler: She actually frequents Orlando City MLS games.]

[Lewis]

I had a twenty minute kip at my desk today. If I wasn't on such shit money (relatively speaking) I would turn up on GS' doorstep and lol out loud right in his face.

[Pepe]

Time thief.

[Lewis]

If everyone can toss off for a coffee four times a day then I can have a quick POWER NAP to perk myself up.

[Foe]

Time thief.

Fire him.

/Dwight

[phonics]

You're getting sacked so quickly.

[Lewis]

They tried to recruit somebody for my job a year ago (why did I miss that?) but all the candidates were shit. :cool: