The All New Jobs Thread

[Ian]

Yeah if you've got a dickhead of an employer that must be the best feeling going.

I wouldn't have the balls to do it without another job to go to or the money to fall back on though.

[Spikey M]

This is it. It must be pure euphoria. Big Vinnie Mac Grapefruit walking stuff... until you get to the car and realise what you've actually done.

[Lofty]

There are jobs growing on trees according to the news.

[Ian]

Is he the sort who will have done that or will he just get more and more bold as people point out this may have been as idiotic as it was cathartic?

[Spikey M]

It's pretty out of character for him, so the trigger will have been pretty major (or there were one too many straws between the proverbial camels humps).

I'm waiting for him to get back to me on what happened, but he's probably busy getting his arse handed to him at home / 5 pints deep at 'spoons.

[Shindig]

Drowning in a sea of emails at the minute. I’d love to walk off like that.

[Smjffy]

Well....

What a difference a few weeks make. I came home on Friday for a week and today I went for a interview for a place opening in my home town mid-November, six figure investment which is nice and a brand new kitchen. They've only gone and offered me the gig. :huh:

I said no and took up a different position back in the area. I'm now a breakfast chef. :cool: 6.30am til 2.30pm, £24,000 a year. I did my first day today but I've only taken it because of the amount of free time I'll have. I even get Saturday and Sunday's off. WTF. :D

4 star hotel so it is a little different to what I've been doing but the hours and pay made it pretty hard to turn down tbh. I just need to make sure I get my head down early enough!

[Luca]

Manning garde manger for the breakfast buffet of a hotel was the best job I've ever had. Spent my days powering through kilos of fruit for fruit salad, laying out cheese and cold cuts, arranging the cold pastries, prepping bacon and french toast (OK, that's not really garde work, but neither of those things were done to order), etc. Nobody bothered me unless it was Chef showing me something neat. Bliss.

[Smjffy]

Manning garde manger for the breakfast buffet of a hotel was the best job I've ever had. Spent my days powering through kilos of fruit for fruit salad, laying out cheese and cold cuts, arranging the cold pastries, prepping bacon and french toast (OK, that's not really garde work, but neither of those things were done to order), etc. Nobody bothered me unless it was Chef showing me something neat. Bliss.

That's pretty much all there has been to it as well tbh. Almost to a T.

It's difficult getting up at 5.30am but finishing at 2.30/3pm on a daily basis feels wonderful especially given the summer that I had.It has two AA rosettes so it is a little bit of a step up in standards but I've enjoyed the first few days.

It almost feel like a part time job. The accommodation is pretty swish too which makes a change as most staff houses are doss holes.

[Shindig]

Leaving work whilst the sun's still up. :cool:

[Giggles]

I’ve worked all my stuff bang on this week that I’m rolling in home around 3pm. Friday is the only one could turn into a handling.

[Panda Bear]

That's pretty much all there has been to it as well tbh. Almost to a T.

It's difficult getting up at 5.30am but finishing at 2.30/3pm on a daily basis feels wonderful especially given the summer that I had.It has two AA rosettes so it is a little bit of a step up in standards but I've enjoyed the first few days.

It almost feel like a part time job. The accommodation is pretty swish too which makes a change as most staff houses are doss holes.Do you want to point out to Jimmy that you're making 80% of what he does without factoring in accommodation?

[Shindig]

I was gonna say I make that much sitting down but it seemed like a dick move. Has Jimmy ever been on TV though?

[igor_balis]

I tell a cat and mouse what to do.

[Shindig]

"You lads should really consider opening a current account with us."

[Smjffy]

Do you want to point out to @Jim (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=2061)my that you're making 80% of what he does without factoring in accommodation?


I was gonna say I make that much sitting down but it seemed like a dick move. Has Jimmy ever been on TV though?

Am I missing something chaps because this has gone right over my head.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mine too. I couldn't hack your job in a million years, I'd last a day if that.

[Smjffy]

It's as easy/difficult as you make it.

Three words. Mise en place.

I found the biggest struggle this summer besides being on my own for much of it was a few other places closing early due to being short staffed so a busy day could turn into a manic day without much warning. Essentially though, it's food. I think my time working in MH prepared me for the pressures of a kitchen and its probably why I'm so calm. I found the paperwork and ordering the right stuff to be the biggest ballaches.

[Panda Bear]

One of you feels like they're living the dream, and the other is subject to continued misery and frustration.

[Luca]

And then you die. The end.

[Lofty]

Pictures of the double rosette breakfasts when you have time please, Smiff.

[niko_cee]

A breakfast is a breakfast.

Had one at the Hand and Flowers which had some extra thick bacon thing, but, in essence it was a breakfast. In many ways the greasy spoon classic [with chips, of course] was probably superior.

[Don]

First time doing the MK to work commute which involves the addition of a 40 minute tube journey since moving offices during lockdown. Had to get up at 6.30am to make a 9am call. Fuck every last one of you soft cunts who decided to get jabbed.

[Manc]

There was me thinking my 6am start to get in for 7:30am was soul destroying. :harold:

[Giggles]

First time doing the MK to work commute which involves the addition of a 40 minute tube journey since moving offices during lockdown. Had to get up at 6.30am to make a 9am call. Fuck every last one of you soft cunts who decided to get jabbed.

That’s in poor taste.

[niko_cee]

He wouldn't know.

[mo]

:D

[Kikó]

Well played niko :youpi:

Final two days as a UK employee this week.

[Giggles]

:face:

[Jimmy Floyd]

44 new emails this morning, most of them from Guatemala. Fucking brutal.

Add to that I've been summoned for 'a chat' with the vice chairman later on, a man who includes 'MBE' after his name on his outlook profile.

[Ian]

He wouldn't know.

:D

[Giggles]

44 new emails this morning, most of them from Guatemala. Fucking brutal.

Add to that I've been summoned for 'a chat' with the vice chairman later on, a man who includes 'MBE' after his name on his outlook profile.

“How do you feel about Chile?”

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not been the same since Salas and Zamorano.

[Lofty]

You lot are fannies, prior to Covid I was on the 0554 to Manchester Monday to Friday. The 6.30am alarm for working from home is luxurious by comparison.

[igor_balis]

I have to leave the house by 8.45 to get in by 9.

[Boydy]

I roll out of bed at quarter to 9.

[Don]

Fire alarm and an hour long evacuation and Nothing on Too Good To Go so another pathetic £9 Greek Wrap which has barely touched the sides.

Drinks with the mandem scheduled for 3pm though, let's see if Thirsty Thursdays can still deliver post-lockdown.

[Smjffy]

Pictures of the double rosette breakfasts when you have time please, Smiff.

You're not missing much, Lofty. I think the breakfasts I was offering up before here were better. I mean, no hash browns? Unforgivable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The new Arab has actually been alright so far, but we have run into a big problem. When the British customers phone up, and he answers the phone in his accent, they either seethe and ask for my soothing tones, or just put the phone down.

There's no real way round it. The British working man doesn't like foreigners and won't change for no one.

[SvN]

We had a guy with a very Indian name a few years ago, and it shocked me how many people assumed he was cheap labour that we outsourced to.

[Lofty]

It's the same about how people reply to emails when they think it is a woman vs a man by all accounts.

[Shindig]

I've seen plenty of that this week. It gets amplified when our assessors are largely exotic people with exotic names.

[Lewis]

We got to meet our new boss today, who said that they will be working a few days from home because they're disabled. Right. Turns out they 'live with dyslexia'. When did that get promoted to disability?

[Pepe]

Must be tough being him. My sympathies.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Get out of the public sector while you still can.

[Shindig]

I bet Lewis can't wait to spell check his emails.

[Lewis]

It's a woman, and they have come in from the Welsh health service specifically to sort some MAJOR PROJECT the last idiot timed their retirement to avoid doing. That sentence gets worse as it goes along.

[Pepe]

It's a woman

Then it is all going to be ok.

[Panda Bear]

We got to meet our new boss today, who said that they will be working a few days from home because they're disabled. Right. Turns out they 'live with dyslexia'. When did that get promoted to disability?this is stellar work on their behalf, and you should be commending their ingenuity. surely you would do the same if you were (dis)able.

[Don]

Get out of the public sector while you still can.

Get a load of this mug.

[Panda Bear]

id also hope that useless work emails and micromanagement will be kept to a minimum because of her dyselxia

[Jimmy Floyd]

Get a load of this mug.

Our public sector is toast. Crippled by culture war stuff and subject to endless pay freezes at a time when there's a run on private sector wages. In five years it will just be the furniture and truly principled people left.

[Luca]

Lewis with the inclusive pronoun usage, you love to see it.

[Kikó]

I hope Panda is ok with my new LinkedIn pic.

[Lofty]

Our public sector is toast. Crippled by culture war stuff and subject to endless pay freezes at a time when there's a run on private sector wages. In five years it will just be the furniture and truly principled people left.

The railway was the best of both worlds but now we are being ironically merged into Great British Railways by the same mob who binned off British Rail.

[Shindig]

And the government do outsource a ton of work to third parties. Let's be honest, though. Anyone working in the DWP at the minute is probably being flogged to death with the post-pandemic workloads.

Job for life.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The railway was the best of both worlds but now we are being ironically merged into Great British Railways by the same mob who binned off British Rail.

'Great British Railways', dearie me. Being great is like being a lady, etc.

[Baz]

I’ve been attending some workshops over Zoom spread over a few weeks. Todays the third one and it has a different presenter to normal and my god he’s BORING.

The previous two workshops were engaging and interactive, with lots of breakout rooms and group discussion. This is just this man talking about boring shite, boasting about how he swims five days a week and doing his best to shoehorn his football team (I won’t say who, he seems quite prolific in his field, writes for the guardian etc) into every bloody slide.

Also when did presentations/slideshows become a SLIDE DECK? Everyone who wants to be seen as important seems to call them that now.

[Manc]

Another office appearance dodged. Come at me Don.

[Kikó]

Unsurprisingly, we call them decks.

[Pepe]

Rather have some bore going on and on than having to do fucking breakout rooms and group discussion.

[Baz]

Rather have some bore going on and on than having to do fucking breakout rooms and group discussion.

I'm close to nodding off. Plus it's stuff I want to actually know about, but it's hard to stay focused.

[Don]

Another office appearance dodged. Come at me Don.

I'm on the ropes. Was meant to be going in tomorrow but some cunt has roped me into attending a more formal matter which means I now additionally have to be suited up and travelling a little extra on the tube too.


Rather have some bore going on and on than having to do fucking breakout rooms and group discussion.

Obvs correct.

[Pepe]

I'm close to nodding off. Plus it's stuff I want to actually know about, but it's hard to stay focused.

Nod off then. I am sure there will be some pamphlet with all the information in the end.

[Panda Bear]

I hope Panda is ok with my new LinkedIn pic.
it's 100x better now. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The boss (as in, 'the boss' from the other thread, not my actual boss) just called and asked me to phone one of our Spanish customers 'for a chat, just to see if he's happy'. Then he said 'Right, it's 10 now, I'll call back at 12 once you've done it and see what he had to say'.

I honestly can't think of a more stressful task even in theory.

[Panda Bear]

I fundamentally do not understand how he cannot speak a lick of Spanish despite having lived in Spain as the area's sales representative for however many decades.

How the hell was he doing his job before?

[Ian]

I assume by doing what every cretinous Brit abroad does. Shouting loudly, slowly and with liberal use of vague hand gestures.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Whilst stuffing ham, egg and chips into their face.

[Ian]

Don't be silly, Mahow, foreigners have their Foreign Muck and don't deserve beautiful British cuisine.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I fundamentally do not understand how he cannot speak a lick of Spanish despite having lived in Spain as the area's sales representative for however many decades.

How the hell was he doing his job before?

He doesn't live there full time, he has a place there and goes back and forth. It's still impressive, though. What he does is just bowls into places and does the Schteve McClaren thing. "Meelk. I would like - a - some - meelk, yes?" and eventually the message gets through.

Short of that he just has an army of Spanish-speaking Brits who do things for him. I once had to phone his builder for him.

[Yevrah]

Is it one of those counter-intuitive things where it's actually in his interest (from a business perspective) not to speak the language?

[Jimmy Floyd]

In that he can use 'lost in translation' to his advantage? Maybe, I don't know, he isn't capable of having a single thought last more than 10 seconds so if that's the case I doubt it's by design.

[Spikey M]

Is it one of those counter-intuitive things where it's actually in his interest (from a business perspective) not to speak the language?

In a semi-related strategy, I once managed to get a bint that had been ducking all forms of contact to call me by getting our agreement wrong. It was as simple as putting "per week" instead of "per month", but it got her straight on the phone within minutes.

I do this semi-regularly on purpose now and it's like magic. There's probably a Psychology Dissertation to be written on why it works. I suspect they think they are SEIZING THE POWER and jump before looking.

[Adramelch]

Started a new job this week. I found out today that the company e-mail runs on a server that only works with Internet Explorer and not just any version, it has to be 9 or older. Meanwhile you can't install older IE versions in Windows 10, so I found out I had to add the website to the browser's compatibility settings. Just pure paranoia.

[Manc]

Tantalising stuff.

[Kikó]

What kind of bullshit business is that?

[Adramelch]

It's the regulatory authority for energy, and, as with all things connected (however loosely) to the greek government, they update systems at a snail's pace. Presumably they are moving to Outlook soon™.

[igor_balis]

I feel like I may have to admit defeat with my long-term strategy at my current place, and start tentatively looking for jobs.

I finally got out of my very entry-level div bank job after ~5 years this time last year, and on paper it felt like the perfect fit. International development charity about 10 minutes walk from my house, so a perfect combination of my loony left do-gooder outlook and my laziness. The spec was looking for someone with "a financial background" and "customer service experience", and while the job itself was obviously admin-bitch, I figured it was a foot in the door, then I could be fucking class and skills at data entry and talking to old people donating money over the phone and that, and then apply for jobs where I have to actually use my brain.

I spoke to my mate about it, and he summed up the situation perfectly (having been in the same boat at another place) - at some places you just get the stench of admin on you, and that's that. The office as a whole is largely filled with very drive to waitrose on sunday to pick up the observer with radio 4 on type lefties, but my team is like middle-aged women who talk about how fat [insert someone on loose women] is getting or whatever. When I was in more blue-collary jobs I felt like I was occasionally seen as someone exactly like the former with some amount of suspicion, but here i'm deffo seen as closer to the latter. When my boss's boss's boss heard I'd been to uni she expressed genuine surprise, twat. The problem is that I'm a contrary dickhead and when I'm surrounded by those snobby guardianista twats, my instinct is to lean into my dubious working class lager and footy side, or if I'm being more forgiving to myself, it's just that they're massive wankers.

Either way you look at it, they deffo don't consider me one of them, and I think my absolute best case scenario is that I get to be a senior admin supervisor when my immediate superior retires in 10 years, assuming the whole department hasn't been outsourced to agency temps, robots and some offshore call centre by then.

[Lewis]

'I don't care if it was a joke. I don't want to hear any "dead baby" comments in my office, thank you.'
'its not your office its the charitys office'
'What was that?'
'yeah... sorry yeah okay'
*goes back to his desk and tells everyone he 'just had a right go at her'

[Jimmy Floyd]

Move and get into sales. It's a results business and no one gives a fuck who you are if you get the numbers on the board. If I can do it so can you. In fact you're probably far better suited.

[Boydy]

Don't go into sales. Learn to code.

[Lofty]

There's an old boy in my department who is pretty much useless now, not his fault, he had a stroke years ago and was never the same. However he is not suited for the home working model as he can't really work without supervision. For instance there is no point emailing him as he will never pick it up. He was off on full pay (the best bit being he was parachuted in from another grade so is on more than anyone else) during the mandatory office closures and has just gone back in. We used to use desktops but they have all been binned off for hot desking, this afternoon he texts his line manager saying 'my laptop has ran out of battery, can I go home?' :D

[Spikey M]

It's telling that of the last 3 posts I'm most inclined to follow Lofty's career path. I'll take a stroke over a whistle-stop tour of Southern Europe with an overweight Chris Finch or shouting at misplaced brackets in a Northern Ireland basement flat.

I'd also take a stroke over my current job, mind.

[Lewis]

My office moved down here from London in either 2011 or 2013, and there are still people on London weighting because they moved with it. Their settlement was that they could keep it until payrises caught everybody else up, but they never have, so they still earn about a grand more than the others.

[Shindig]

We've got people on all sorts of grade in this office. Ex-civil service, people on terms they had two-acquisitions back, etc. Not sure how much of a difference it makes, especially as most of the proper old guard are part-timers.

[Lofty]

It's kicking off at the moment as there is a suggestion a driver has transferred in for medical reasons, meaning they will be on 20k more than everyone else despite being the most junior person in the team. Used to be a well beaten path, get driving on big money then get medically restricted on an easy job like standing on the ticket barrier whilst retaining your salary. Don't have to work the barrier first thing in the morning or last thing at night like you do on the train.

[Kikó]

It's very hard to know what people are on in our place as it's a deep secret to not talk about salary. Plus it is not comparable to other parts of the business where the same corporate title is rewarded better than others.

First week in Germany wrapped up and we got a nice "oh something has gone wrong" in the previous job coming out. Might be serious enough to lose someone their job. Be quite a disaster if it ends up being me 🥲

[Shindig]

I feel like that happens every time I switch jobs.

First banking job: This one was definitely on me. I was told the dangers of scanning cheques in twice because it throws the count off. I never got good at scanning so I inevitably buggered it up. I went home my usual time whilst they worked til 1am to sort it. I was working two jobs at the time so packed in sharpish.

Second banking job: Leave because they sacked all the agency staff and make a few permanent guys redundant. They move the operations to Leeds. Leeds are shite so the agents are called back in for another six weeks. After leaving that second stint, the lad I sat next to had been committing fraud on company time to settle his gambling debts.

Third banking job: I'm already heading to the current job and a customer had been hassling me about a product they thought they applied for. The form didn't get to us so I can't offer those terms. So they're going to withdraw their kid's money when they hit 16 anyway. Turns out withdrawing on the maturity date (the kid's birthday) only penalises them a day's interest. So I said, "Fine, we'll not penalise you any interest." just to stop them calling back. One day's interest might not even register. If it does and they kick off about it, I'm on the other side of the building working for a different part of the business. :D

And at this job we always heard stories of paperwork going missing either at the scanning place or in transit. I spent one afternoon this week doing QA and almost all the errors I found came from one person. We allow a handful of errors a month before a manager intervenes. This one managed 15 in a couple of days. :D

[Kikó]

We've just had a major communication break down between different teams and because it impacts the US, they're baying for blood and want to blame someone. One of those where you try and keep your head down and hope for the best.

[Manc]

The master plan of lolling my way to an early retirement has hit a bump in the road. Passed up for an interview for a job I was odds on to secure. My rep may not recover.

[Don]

Quite right too, you dosser.

[Spikey M]

Tazson "The Manlet King" Fury.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had everything lined up to take Friday off this week in order to get my front door fixed, but I have now had to delay it to next week as I can't get the day off because my colleague has just booked it off instead. The reason? He needs Friday off as he has tickets to the O2 to see 'What's Love Got To Do With It?', a Tina Turner tribute act.

So I still have a boarded up front door, but at least he gets to hear some 5/10 dressing up act relay hits such as River Deep, Mountain High, and that one that goes da da da da the best, the best, the best, the best of yo-ou.

[Ian]

It's a pity he wasn't going to see a tribute act for The Doors but you can't win 'em all.

[Baz]

There’s a new (started in July but keeps saying she’s new, not sure how long she’ll drag it out but will keep you all updated) woman at work who lives in London so is committed to working 100% remotely and cannot attend any in-person meetings or “away days.” She’s emailed me today calling me a breadth of fresh air.

It was going so well too. :stamford:

[Pepe]

Tina Turner is ace, so I'd say he has priority.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure Tina Turner is wonderful, but he's not seeing Tina Turner.

[Adramelch]

Yes, but he called dibs and the company rules are pretty clear on that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A printed out photo is going around the office. The photo depicts our senior engineer, a few years ago during a work trip to Yenisei in Siberia (maybe I get the good gigs after all). He's dressed in warm clothing and standing on a bridge over a frozen river. Someone has added on a speech bubble with comic sans that has him saying: "It's minus 20 degrees here - just a normal Siberian summer's day!!!"

Now apparently this is the funniest gag that's ever been done. The Russian was in stitches. The Arab took a photocopy and has pinned it up next to his desk. Everyone else is clutching their sides laughing. Have I missed something?

[Baz]

I hate everyone who has enjoyed that.

[Spikey M]

A printed out photo is going around the office. The photo depicts our senior engineer, a few years ago during a work trip to Yenisei in Siberia (maybe I get the good gigs after all). He's dressed in warm clothing and standing on a bridge over a frozen river. Someone has added on a speech bubble with comic sans that has him saying: "It's minus 20 degrees here - just a normal Siberian summer's day!!!"

Now apparently this is the funniest gag that's ever been done. The Russian was in stitches. The Arab took a photocopy and has pinned it up next to his desk. Everyone else is clutching their sides laughing. Have I missed something?
Cos it's cold in Siberia, innit? Durrrr.

(Siberia is usually hotter than here in the Summer and has been on fire for about 2 years)

[Lofty]

Yeah the equivalent hilarious joke picture in my office was someone photoshopping my head on to a subway worker making a sandwich, that had been photoshopped into a shit sandwich. I still have it somewhere.

[Spikey M]

I can feel a new avatar coming on.

[Adramelch]

In my previous place, a research center, there was an Expendables poster with people from the office photoshopped on top of the actors, which was very cringey. They did also have a picture from an aerodynamic study of Godzilla though so it made up for it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah the equivalent hilarious joke picture in my office was someone photoshopping my head on to a subway worker making a sandwich, that had been photoshopped into a shit sandwich. I still have it somewhere.
Post it please.

[Lofty]

https://i.ibb.co/g9djMjJ/received-129528089146104.jpg

[Ian]

:D

That's Spikey's avatar sorted, presumably, so I can be confused when I see his posts all over again.

[Giggles]

Lofty looks very like a lad I work with in that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Look how happy Lofty looks to be asking "What salad with that?".

[Spikey M]

Beautiful.

Sadly it's impossible to fit both face and turd sandwich in.

[Ian]

Still, that really leaves it to the imagination what he's doing with his gloved hands just out of shot.

[Lewis]

Are we getting the background to that hilarious joke?

[Lofty]

I had made several errors at once that led to a sizeable shit sandwich and me gaining the moniker 'the chef' for a while, also resulting in the verb to 'chef' something meaning fuck it up. Obviously that record didn't continue or I'd be out of a job.

[Lewis]

:lol:

[Offshore Toon]

Hopefully we get to call Kikó that soon.

[Lewis]

Then when it starts to die down somebody changes it to 'shit barm' and they get another year out of it.

[Panda Bear]

I had everything lined up to take Friday off this week in order to get my front door fixed, but I have now had to delay it to next week as I can't get the day off because my colleague has just booked it off instead. The reason? He needs Friday off as he has tickets to the O2 to see 'What's Love Got To Do With It?', a Tina Turner tribute act.

So I still have a boarded up front door, but at least he gets to hear some 5/10 dressing up act relay hits such as River Deep, Mountain High, and that one that goes da da da da the best, the best, the best, the best of yo-ou.Did you relent, or did some director come down on his side?

[Kikó]

Then when it starts to die down somebody changes it to 'shit barm' and they get another year out of it.

I don't think the Germans call it a barm.

Shiesse brot.

[Lofty]

Shiessewurst surely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Did you relent, or did some director come down on his side?

I relented, obvs.

[Shindig]

Flexible working's being touted. Given how quick the last two years have gone, I'm all for it.

[Panda Bear]

I relented, obvs.You are now in possession of what insiders call a 'chit'.

[Lofty]

Got to plan the football special train for my hometown club's away day at Carlisle this saturday which was nice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You are now in possession of what insiders call a 'chit'.

When I die they'll sprinkle my grave with thousands of the damn things.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The boss is really starting to grind my fucking gears at the moment. Every day he sends me a load of absolute guff to translate to send in an email to our biggest customer in Spain (the guy in the mining town). I send the translation back (this is usually a good 45 minutes of work) and then immediately the boss says RING HIM PLEASE AND MAKE SURE HE UNDERSTANDS. When I don't do it for 30-45 minutes because the prospect is about the most stressful thing I can imagine, the boss rings me again and gets on my back for not doing it.

I fucking hate any phone calls in my own language, let alone open-ended phone calls, let alone open-ended completely unnecessary phone calls in my third language to the owner of the company (remember, some minion like me ringing up and asking for the owner is not really the done thing, is it?) in order to assuage the boss's massive insecurity about business.

It also implies that he doesn't trust my translation which he asks me to do, and I'm fucking done with it.

[Ian]

Yeah all of that can fuck off.

[Yevrah]

Shouldn't you be in Peru by now Jim?

[Ian]

That's for 2022, Yev. We've still got the France Christmas special to come. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shouldn't you be in Peru by now Jim?

OK so here's a rough company structure with ages of the people concerned (bear with me on this).

Chairman (82) --- Partner (80)
MD (49)
Regional sales managers: Middle East (67) Europe (69 - The boss) Africa (40s) Asia-Pacific (60s) Latin America (79)
Office sales managers: 2 (Russia and India - 40s)
Sales minions: 4 (including me - all 30s)

Partner, with the blessing of Chairman and MD, has offered me succession into the Latin America job, which means in effect I currently work as support to both Latin America and Europe, even though MD, Russia and India all have a more direct line of management towards me.

However, what isn't yet clear is when Latin America (age 79, remember) is going to bite the bullet and retire. He's based in Mexico City and has worked for Partner there since 1979, however he recently made an illicit 2 month trip back to the UK to scout out retirement houses, something which angered Chairman.

As such I am currently in stasis waiting to see what happens with all these very, very old men as their careers and indeed lives wind down. The promise is there, but who knows what will actually happen.

[Baz]

I presume your professional development plan is just a photo of Tim Vickery.

[Yevrah]

In a structure blessed with experience like that, how on earth do you have a 49 year old MD? Is he someone's kid?

[Kikó]

The 79 year old must be good considering how long he's been there.

[Spikey M]

OK so here's a rough company structure with ages of the people concerned (bear with me on this).

Chairman (82) --- Partner (80)
MD (49)
Regional sales managers: Middle East (67) Europe (69 - The boss) Africa (40s) Asia-Pacific (60s) Latin America (79)
Office sales managers: 2 (Russia and India - 40s)
Sales minions: 4 (including me - all 30s)

Partner, with the blessing of Chairman and MD, has offered me succession into the Latin America job, which means in effect I currently work as support to both Latin America and Europe, even though MD, Russia and India all have a more direct line of management towards me.

However, what isn't yet clear is when Latin America (age 79, remember) is going to bite the bullet and retire. He's based in Mexico City and has worked for Partner there since 1979, however he recently made an illicit 2 month trip back to the UK to scout out retirement houses, something which angered Chairman.

As such I am currently in stasis waiting to see what happens with all these very, very old men as their careers and indeed lives wind down. The promise is there, but who knows what will actually happen.

I often wonder why you let them push you around so passively, then I'm reminded of their ages and realise you don't really have a choice. It's pointless arguing with old people. Doubly so when they own the company you work for and have been doing things their way for half a century. Never mind. Once one goes the others will fall like Dominoes and you'll be at the wheel soon enough.

[Ian]

I look forward to Jimmy posting from Montevideo in 2063 complaining about how the bastards have brought in some 30 year old to be his future replacement when he's still clearly in his prime.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In a structure blessed with experience like that, how on earth do you have a 49 year old MD? Is he someone's kid?

I've been piecing it all together and think I've finally worked it out. I reckon Chairman wanted to sell up a few years back, and for the company to be attractive at the price he wants you need a young MD in place (so that the buyer doesn't have to piss about too much reorganising). As such, out went former MD Nigel (in his 70s, still pops back in occasionally) and in came this fella who used to be sales director.

However, no one would buy at the price he wanted, so that idea went out the window and instead, in came Partner with his own people and market reach. Now, at some stage, either they are going to die at their desks, or Chairman will need to buy Partner out to sell on. Partner therefore wants to keep the value of his share as high as he can, and a key part of that is the Latin American performance. 79 year old is on the way out, so he needs someone who can take over that job. First up he hired a Spanish bloke, but he was fucking useless and quickly sacked. Next he turned to me, already in place speaking Spanish and 'knowing the club' as it were.

I am therefore basically ballast in this cold war between the two octogenarian partners, watching and waiting to see what happens and if hanging on for this much more senior job is indeed the prudent idea that it seems to be at the moment.

[Ian]

'knowing the club' as it were.

The Sales Binman. :drool:

[Boydy]

Try popping a bag of crisps in the office. That might take a couple of them out.

[phonics]

None of those people are retiring. You’ll be waiting for them to die. It’s a big thing in law practices at the moment.

[Shindig]

I can’t wrap my head around a company hierarchy working til they drop.

[phonics]

It’s a perfect blend of thinking they know better and knowing if they stop working they’ll die because they have absolutely nothing else going on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The top two are both self-made men who have sold multiple companies and worth £10-30 million each. They're convinced that retirement would put them in the ground.

Both come into the office for full-time hours and are at their desks as I speak. One has already had a quadruple bypass. I dunno. It's a way of thinking.

[Yevrah]

Unless you're incredibly lucky you've got to be driven and enjoy it in the first place to be that successful, which I've always figured is something that you're usually stuck with, no matter how much money you're sat on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The partner was telling me a story the other day about when he was running one of his previous companies. Part of the story involved the governor of the Reserve Bank of Australia, Sir Harold Knight. I googled Sir Harold and this placed the story in the mid to late 1970s. My mind was slightly blown.

[Lofty]

Jim ending up like Partridge at the fateful moment his second series is about to be signed off seems the most likely outcome.

[Shindig]

It’s a perfect blend of thinking they know better and knowing if they stop working they’ll die because they have absolutely nothing else going on.

The latter half of that rings true with an old dear I work with. I'd never have a go at her for staying on but I don't want to spend my sixties grafting.

[Baz]

A major babe has joined the team. :gs:

[Lofty]

Alright Jonny Bravo.

[Spikey M]

:D hubba hubba.

[Manc]

Annual leave secured over the festive period. Ten consecutive days off. :drool:

[Spikey M]

My place has played a blinder this year. Off from 23rd December to 4th of Jan with no Annual Leave having to be used. Lovely stuff.

Now wait for Kiko to bowl in with his traditional 13 months off over Christmas. :mad:

[Baz]

Annual leave secured over the festive period. Ten consecutive days off. :drool:

Nice. I should book mine. How many days annual leave have you used to get 10 off?

Looking at a calendar, Christmas Eve is a Friday so I reckon I can get away with doing no work on that day without having to book it off. This also means Monday 27th and Tuesday 28th are bank holidays, right? Then I can save my annual leave for Wed 29th, Thu 30th and Fri 31st. Then Monday 3rd is another bank holiday so can resume using annual leave for Tue 4th to Fri 7th and end up with … 16 days off, using 7 days holiday, going back in on 10th Jan. :drool:

[Spikey M]

Nice. I should book mine. How many days annual leave have you used to get 10 off?

Looking at a calendar, Christmas Eve is a Friday so I reckon I can get away with doing no work on that day without having to book it off. This also means Monday 27th and Tuesday 28th are bank holidays, right? Then I can save my annual leave for Wed 29th, Thu 30th and Fri 31st. Then Monday 3rd is another bank holiday so can resume using annual leave for Tue 4th to Fri 7th and end up with … 16 days off, using 7 days holiday, going back in on 10th Jan. :drool:

Yea, 27th, 28th and 3rd of Jan are Bank Holidays.

[Ian]

We get some extra days on top of holiday allowance specifically for Christmas and New Year which then get divvied out, theoretically trying to meet as many people's preferences as possible. So with those and bank holidays after the 24th I'm not back in until the 5th.

I am on-call 1st - 4th but a) that's just a good excuse to not have to pretend to give any sort of a shit about New Year b) it's normally dead anyway and c) even in the unlikely event I do get a callout it'll be even more on-call pay than usual because of it being the bank holiday.

I would ultimately rather just sack off the extra money and not have to worry about getting called out though.

[Giggles]

We have to take a holiday for Christmas Eve this year which is a bit of a jip. Used to get to just go on in in the morning and then be let fuck off home a couple of hours later.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have to take 3 of our annual 20 between Christmas and New Year when the office is closed. I've always thought it a liberty but that's old school industrialists for you.

[Ian]

That'd annoy me if it was only 20 I was getting in the first place. I'm on 25 now I'm in my third year with the company and the three Christmas / New Years ones are extra on top of that.

[Manc]

Nice. I should book mine. How many days annual leave have you used to get 10 off?

Just the three. I've finessed my whole team.

[Manc]

We have to take 3 of our annual 20 between Christmas and New Year when the office is closed. I've always thought it a liberty but that's old school industrialists for you.

You'd be better off down the pit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The good news is after 5 years it goes up to 21, after 10 years 23, and after 15 years, 25 days.

[Shindig]

Imagine how many days the old buggers have.

[Spikey M]

I think I get 30 days (plus bonus days at Christmas) and that doesn't feel like enough. I'm clearly just ungrateful.

[CJay]

My role is basically just me now, answerable to our area manager (3 levels above me), so I reckon I can take the rest of my leave and just doss at home on whatever days are leftover. :cool:

I'm on 26.5 days plus flexi-leave (any time we accrue over 7:24 each day). It's amazing.

[Lofty]

I get 28 plus Bank Holidays and the option to take overtime back as either days in lieu or pay, bank holidays are double time if needed.

[Giggles]

Anyone working from home probably doesn't need a holiday balance any more, especially ones permanently at it going forward.

[Manc]

:harold:

[Boydy]

Anyone working from home probably doesn't need a holiday balance any more, especially ones permanently at it going forward.

Stop posting and get back to work, slacker.

[Giggles]

I'm working from home and haven't done a tap today just like the rest of you. Nobody working from home is working.

[Don]

Fuck taking holiday when every other mug is on leave, the office is dead, everywhere else is busy and, as Giggles says, you ain't even needing to pretend to be working. All so you can have a wank with your dry turkey meat. Fucking gammons gotta gammon innit.

[Kikó]

I've finally worked out why giggles hates people working from home as he's basically projecting his own laziness.

Get to the office you workshy twat.

[Ian]

I think I get 30 days (plus bonus days at Christmas) and that doesn't feel like enough. I'm clearly just ungrateful.

Does that exclude bank holidays or are they just rolled into your allowance to use whenever you fancy?

My 28 (including the three festive days) then has the bank holidays on top.

[Giggles]

I've finally worked out why giggles hates people working from home as he's basically projecting his own laziness.

Get to the office you workshy twat.

Nope. People just need to be watched to be productive. It's human nature.

[Ian]

What job are you in that your manager (or whoever's job it is that relies on you doing yours) doesn't know if you've been productive or not?

Regardless of whether I'm at home or the office it'd be a job of about two minutes, if that, to see if I've been sitting doing nothing all day.

[Spikey M]

Does that exclude bank holidays or are they just rolled into your allowance to use whenever you fancy?

My 28 (including the three festive days) then has the bank holidays on top.

I've just had a look and I get 25 days plus Bank Holidays. So 31 days(?) Plus whatever at Christmas.

[Panda Bear]

I'm working from home and haven't done a tap today just like the rest of you. Nobody working from home is working.
> this is my experience
> therefore this is everyone's experience

[Giggles]

> this is my experience
> therefore this is everyone's experience

This is not my experience. This is my knowledge.

[Kikó]

It's pretty specific to you even if it's hard to believe. People can work from home without someone monitoring them, this isn't some Victorian workhouse.

On my work stuff, I've been exploring the company car and it looks like I might be able to get an electric car and get decent subsidies from the state to make it pretty cheap to own and run.

[Foe]

My work shit saga continues after my latest discussion with my boss (first in 2 months).

He told me today he has absolutely no idea what I do day to day which isn’t surprising and as I feared would be the case in this Role which is very new and basically working with a completely seperate function of the business.

He did then suggest that my performance this year had taken a backward step presumably due to feedback he’d received from someone who I think I very rarely work with who also has absolutely no idea what I do day to day and is frustrated I’m not doing what he used to do, because nobody is and it means he has to despite it definitely not being his job either.

Disputed his claim and recommended he seek feedback from people I do actually work with and gave him a whole host of activities I’ve done this year he will have no idea about.

Such a crock of shit. Thankfully bonus this year is based on company performance, but this bullshit has set my career back 3 years. Definitely got a job and not a career at this place now. Only consolation being if they do redundancies again and I do get binned it’ll come with a £30k payoff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's pretty specific to you even if it's hard to believe. People can work from home without someone monitoring them, this isn't some Victorian workhouse.

On my work stuff, I've been exploring the company car and it looks like I might be able to get an electric car and get decent subsidies from the state to make it pretty cheap to own and run.

And it gives you another reason to lord it over the commoners. /Giggles.

[Kikó]

#ecodespite4holidays

[Boydy]

Kiko in his new car:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D743RopXkAInAft.jpg

[Giggles]

:D

Would have a fair high top speed so.

[Dquincy]

A major babe has joined the team. :gs:

Baz, can I have an update on the major babe? Have you spoken to her? become friends? is she still a babe?

[Foe]

Share a picture of a well known celebrity that she looks like and/or you picture her as when masturbating.

[Foe]

Should’ve read the post before that, I’ve definitely lowered the tone.

[Giggles]

Share a picture of a well known celebrity that she looks like and/or you picture her as when masturbating.

If she's in his work then I'd say she's over 16.

[niko_cee]

He'll neg you for that. He gets touchy about the cherno stuff.

[Kikó]

Kiko in his new car:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D743RopXkAInAft.jpg

Gah 🥲

[Baz]

Share a picture of a well known celebrity that she looks like.Maybe Ryan Destiny (https://www.instagram.com/p/CULPXKRIYmd/)?


Baz, can I have an update on the major babe? Have you spoken to her? become friends? is she still a babe?I've only met her once and it was on Teams. We've an irl "away day" soon so hopefully she comes. I stalked her Facebook during the meeting and she's possibly a bit of a weirdo. Like one of those Africans whose accounts look fake cos but turns out she's real. Not lived in England very long, don't know much about her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think you missed the "well known" part in Foe's post.

[Baz]

I think you missed the "well known" part in Foe's post.

You don't watch Star? Not my fault.

[Dquincy]

I've only met her once and it was on Teams. We've an irl "away day" soon so hopefully she comes. I stalked her Facebook during the meeting and she's possibly a bit of a weirdo. Like one of those Africans whose accounts look fake cos but turns out she's real. Not lived in England very long, don't know much about her.

Thanks Baz, a decent update. It's amazing how a personality (good or bad) can affect the 'babesness' of someone once you've met them. I knew a lass who was stunning, but once she opened her mouth it ruined everything. Similarly, saw a fella at college on the first day and acknowledged he was a decent looking chap. Turned out he was a complete dweeb and it just changed everything. No way was I going to shag him after that.

Anyway, I look forward to further updates.

I've convinced my colleagues that we need a young secretary as part of the company succession plan. Hoping for someone who can boost morale.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/16/its-the-biggest-open-secret-out-there-the-double-lives-of-white-collar-workers-with-two-jobs

Task-based work and pay :drool:

[Spikey M]

Kiko in his new car:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D743RopXkAInAft.jpg

:D

[Kikó]

Maybe Ryan Destiny (https://www.instagram.com/p/CULPXKRIYmd/)?

I've only met her once and it was on Teams. We've an irl "away day" soon so hopefully she comes. I stalked her Facebook during the meeting and she's possibly a bit of a weirdo. Like one of those Africans whose accounts look fake cos but turns out she's real. Not lived in England very long, don't know much about her.

Eh?

[Spikey M]

He's getting conned by a Nigerian Princess that can't open a bank account in her own name.

[Baz]

Eh?
Hard to explain without showing you, which obviously I don’t wanna do.

Basically hardly any info, the same few photos being rotated as profile pics, with tons of likes and comments that don’t really tie up.

She’s also not that hot in the pics, but over webcam she was very pretty.

[Giggles]

I thought today was my last day of isolation but I've Monday off too.

[Manc]

Another day in the office dodged. :cool:

[Danny]

Last day before 2 weeks off today and motivation is less than zero.

[Baz]

Babe update:

I've only met her once and it was on Teams. We've an irl "away day" soon so hopefully she comes.Turns out she’s not been invited because the director’s PA is bordering on useless. My hopes for Tuesday being any good have been dashed.

[Shindig]

Our lot now want one mental health first aider for every ten members of staff.

[Luca]

I know a guy...

[SvN]

We had a new guy start in August as a designer. He's got plenty of experience, but his work was very "good, not great". But there was enough there to suggest he could become very good with the right guidence.

3 months later he's absolutely hopeless. His work is abysmal, and he works at a snail's pace. He's also got a really wierd habbit of sending instant messages over Discord as if they were an email - including a "Kind regards" sign off on every message. After a few days of seeing how the rest of us communicate, I thought he would've realised by now. What makes it worse is that he seems to spend between 5 and 10 minutes typing these messages out every time you ask him a simple question.

He had his review 2 weeks ago where I outlined all of the ways he was underperforming, but he's getting worse, if anything. He's somehow managed to get even slower, to the point where a client has complained to me this morning. Sadly, he's going to have to go.

He's a nice enough guy, but the sort of personality that I couldn't be around socially for more than 5 minutes. Think Ned Flanders with a Brummie accent.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, he sounds like a right nightmare.

I don't get people doing unconventional things over work communication mediums, there are established norms for this shit that make all our lives easier and whether it's sending every email high importance or removing the 're:' from every email you reply to, just stop it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is he old? He sounds old. You shouldn't employ the old. Age discrimination laws be damned.

[Spikey M]

We've a lady going on maternity leave that has sent out the obligatory "thank you for my pressies!" Email. Fine.

Less fine are the 4 people that decided "reply all" was the correct way to respond with "Enjoy :)" and "get some sleep while you can!!!!".

These are the worst people in the world.

[Adramelch]

At the same time I do think "reply to all" should be "hidden" a bit more, just so the simpletons don't have immediate access to it.

[Don]

Yeah, he sounds like a right nightmare.

I don't get people doing unconventional things over work communication mediums, there are established norms for this shit that make all our lives easier and whether it's sending every email high importance or removing the 're:' from every email you reply to, just stop it.

Getting people to let go of those established norms can also be a problem and shows the difficulties of tech use.

Fam, stop addressing emails with a 'Hi Don' and commenting on documents with a 'FAO Don:' and start using @mentions.

[Boydy]

We had a new guy start in August as a designer. He's got plenty of experience, but his work was very "good, not great". But there was enough there to suggest he could become very good with the right guidence.

3 months later he's absolutely hopeless. His work is abysmal, and he works at a snail's pace. He's also got a really wierd habbit of sending instant messages over Discord as if they were an email - including a "Kind regards" sign off on every message. After a few days of seeing how the rest of us communicate, I thought he would've realised by now. What makes it worse is that he seems to spend between 5 and 10 minutes typing these messages out every time you ask him a simple question.

He had his review 2 weeks ago where I outlined all of the ways he was underperforming, but he's getting worse, if anything. He's somehow managed to get even slower, to the point where a client has complained to me this morning. Sadly, he's going to have to go.

He's a nice enough guy, but the sort of personality that I couldn't be around socially for more than 5 minutes. Think Ned Flanders with a Brummie accent.

You seem to have a lot of trouble with shit staff. Are the wages low compared to the rest of the market or what?

[Spikey M]

"Birmingham Screwdrivers"

[Giggles]

There should be a way of removing yourself as a CC. Maybe some clients can, but I've never been able to in Outlook.

[Ian]

What makes it worse is that he seems to spend between 5 and 10 minutes typing these messages out every time you ask him a simple question.

I feel like a lot of places have one of these.

In my last place there was a guy you'd IM over Skype and get "x is typing...." for minutes every time you glanced at that window for legitimately 5 minutes only to get "ok yeah" in response.

[SvN]

You seem to have a lot of trouble with shit staff. Are the wages low compared to the rest of the market or what?

I don't think that's true. The only other person I've moaned about on here was a junior hire who I sacked after 18 months. About 3 years ago.

[Spikey M]

I've just stumbled upon a pretty major fuck up by one of my colleagues. I can't ignore it, because it will be obvious I've seen it when it comes to light. But I really don't want to get him in trouble because he's a good bloke and normally a good worker too. That said, he's cost the company 8 grand and it's not even fixable.

Eugh.

[Lewis]

We have a new-ish person who you can see in real time trying not to do what he is meant to be doing because he regrets taking the job but can't just leave. It's pretty impressive in its own way. I didn't know there were that many staff dial-ins and interview volunteer opportunities, but he seems to fill half the week with those, and then a large part of what remains can be filled eating and doing 'admin'.

[Ian]

I've just stumbled upon a pretty major fuck up by one of my colleagues. I can't ignore it, because it will be obvious I've seen it when it comes to light. But I really don't want to get him in trouble because he's a good bloke and normally a good worker too. That said, he's cost the company 8 grand and it's not even fixable.

Eugh.

How much bother is he going to get into when somebody finds out?

[Spikey M]

How much bother is he going to get into when somebody finds out?

Hard to say, it's a pretty major fuck up. He's been sitting on a load of paperwork, not turned up to atleast 1 court hearing and not updated his calendar so no cunt even knew anything was happening.

I've dropped it in his lap for now in the hope that he comes clean and I don't have to get involved.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, when stuff like that happens with the guy who sits next to me (which it does reasonably often) I just go over and say listen, old boy, thing is, I've just noticed... and that seems to do the trick.

[SvN]

Baz would send a polite heads up email, and BCC in the company owner.

[Adramelch]

Baz would send a polite heads up email, and BCC in the company owner.

As well as the "babe". Any chance to interact with them.

[Giggles]

Should go full Lee and burn him in the hope of getting up a rung.

[Spikey M]

If he has a brain (currently in some doubt) he will go straight to the Head of Department, which will;

A) Make it look like he's taking it really seriously,
B) Make him look properly sorry
C) Rob our manager of the opportunity to go nuclear, flap about, call a load of meetings and guarantee the worst possible outcome for all.

Our Head of Department is most likely to just pull a face, invite him to close the door and just give him a bit of a telling off if she can.

[Kikó]

Always best to confess than digging. We've had the shitstorm recently and rather than point fingers (like the other side), went with the timeline of events and tried to be objective. Better to just figure out how the fuck up happened rather than hide it so you can actually learn.

[Shindig]

Yeah, we have accountability like that in our place. Although you still get plenty of people who baulk at the idea of telling them. People need to know when and how they are fucking up.

[Manc]

The thrill of fucking up. :drool:

I've yet to trip up in my new career. Back in the Banking days I probably had a clanger/near miss each quarter.

[Ian]

The thrill of fucking up. :drool:

There is, weirdly, something to this.

I'm sure I posted in here earlier in the year when I'd made a minor fuck-up that I thought initially wasn't so minor and those first minutes of "oh fuck" were the most I'd felt anything in months.

[Boydy]

I don't think that's true. The only other person I've moaned about on here was a junior hire who I sacked after 18 months. About 3 years ago.
I thought that was a lot more recent than that. Time flies.

[Kikó]

Genuinely the same. I thought he posted it about 4 weeks ago.

[Baz]

Baz would send a polite heads up email, and BCC in the company owner.

Someone elses incompetence should not be protected, regardless of how much of a "good bloke" they are.

[Spikey M]

Equally someone shouldn't be little scouse grass when they're up to their elbows in shit they could do time for.

[SvN]

I thought that was a lot more recent than that. Time flies.

Actually, I moaned about this same guy being an hour late on his first day.

[Manc]

What's your Glassdoor rating?

[SvN]

Glassdoor rating? :D We're a company of 10 people that hires someone new about once every 18 months.

[Adramelch]

Glassdoor rating? :D We're a company of 10 people that hires someone shit about once every 18 months.

Fixed.

[Spikey M]

:D

[SvN]

To be fair 2 of the last 4 have been awful. It's a lot harder than you think, I absolutely hate recruitment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's like dating. Most of the non-useless people are already taken.

[Manc]

How many of the other nine are you sleeping with?

[Giggles]

We're the same. The last 3 hires have been complete mongs, 4 if you include me.

[Spikey M]

It must be a nightmare to be fair. It doesn't help that the honest and hard working people you want are also usually the least likely to sell themselves at an interview.

Where as useless and unscrupulous cunts will say whatever it takes to get the job. Sadly, it works all the way up to Prime Minister.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I should be in recruitment really, I can see through all the cunts. Beware anyone with either really good or really bad social skills.

[Gray Fox]

Equally someone shouldn't be little scouse grass when they're up to their elbows in shit they could do time for.

Isn't Baz from St. Helens?

I take offence on being tarred with that brush.

[Spikey M]

It's all either Liverpool or Manchester round there.

[Lewis]

After the pregnant woman couldn't take the job at our place, they offered it to somebody who asked if he could work under a false name. He threatened to write to Buckingham Palace unless we let him, so presumably somebody there is having to go through the motions of responding to that.

[Smjffy]

Still enjoying my current role and finding it much easier to get up so early, I do tend to finish earlier than I expected too as I just fly through my prep and so I've agreed to do six days a week instead so I don't lose too many hours. Chef is a fan which is nice, he likes the fact I always ask my team mates if they need any help before I do sod off but there is a small part of me that misses actually cooking. He did offer me to do the odd evening here and there to see how things run once I'm gone but tbh I'm feeling heavy eyed by time 1pm arrives so I want to shoot home for my powernap and mixing hours to that extent will screw my body up, I feel.

I don't like the fact it is monthly pay but I'm sure when I get it next week that'll change and I can move my outgoings etc to one particular day, I love the amount of free time I get, home by 1.30/2pm the latest so can chill for 7/8 hours before trying to crash. It doesn't always work and sometimes find myself up gone midnight (damn FM!) but easy enough to catch up on lost sleep the following day, I guess.

I'm thinking this might just be suitable for the next six months or so, get Christmas out the way, power through until May/June then launch myself into a busier environment having used the time to push ahead on a personal level. Not that I am doing that all too much lately, in fact its been work, home, FM, make tea, watch film/doc then crash but given last summer, I can't say I don't need it. Mentally I didn't realise how it was getting to me, physically I feel like a new man but I think that's due to the routine of having a decent-ish sleep pattern. Job before this I'd be rolling in gone 10/11pm, still switched on thinking I forgot things, crash by 2/3am then back in at 8am to repeat. It was just no life.

If we have (not sure if likely or not) another lockdown of sorts then I'm definitely going to pursue a different career so I think it makes sense to use the next few months as an opportunity to lay the blueprint down for whatever that may be. Problem is, other than working with vulnerable adults which is rewarding and something I loved, it does meddle with my own mental health and cooking is something I didn't realise I was 'good' at, or less so good and more passionate, less so passionate more so competent? I dunno. Just feel like there is something I should be doing that I'm not doing. The campaigning last year for example opened myself up to things I would never have dreamed of doing and without sounding arrogant or big headed, I absolutely smashed it and surprised myself.

I didn't follow through with joining Plaid Cymru as once I returned to work the political side of things sort of got put on the back burner but I do feel like something is missing. How do I find out what that is?

[Don]

Tranny alley in Amsterdam.

[Smjffy]

If I wanted dick, I'd probably quote you more often but as it is, that sort of shit can wait until one hits rock bottom as you just never know what turn I'll take in life. :D Ha!

[Baz]

Equally someone shouldn't be little scouse grass when they're up to their elbows in shit they could do time for.Hold on mate. I’ve not grassed anyone in for anything. Besides, I barely communicate with anyone internally at work now.

[Manc]

You're giving off major Spacey in American Beauty vibes recently.