The All New Jobs Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have almost everyone back from furlough now, and my motivation has literally never been lower. Between organising the restart of cricket, fucking about on here and scrolling through twitter in a deliberate attempt to enrage myself, my work is currently getting compressed into about three hours of the day, and the rest of the time I just cannot be arsed.

The odd day holiday is now allowed but I can't take a full week until September, apparently.

[Boydy]

Just updated the old linkedin and set my status to casually looking so recruiters can see. Just to see what's out there.

Possibly an overreaction to that news from earlier but I've quickly gone from feeling "this place is great, I'd stay here for 10 years" to "fuck this, might as well move on". We're a small office (nine including me) and there's three I really get on with and now two of them are leaving.

Actually, probably four tbf.

[Foe]

Should probably get LinkedIn.

Best move I made this year was doing my chartership though. I’m now a chartered engineer (zero benefit to me) which is at least something they can’t hold against me if they compare me against Mrs Process Engineer of Londonshire.

[Giggles]

Just updated the old linkedin and set my status to casually looking so recruiters can see. Just to see what's out there.

Possibly an overreaction to that news from earlier but I've quickly gone from feeling "this place is great, I'd stay here for 10 years" to "fuck this, might as well move on". We're a small office (nine including me) and there's three I really get on with and now two of them are leaving.

Actually, probably four tbf.

Worth putting it in your headline thing that you’re open to offers too. Though bear in mind your employer can see that (fuck them).

[Boydy]

Worth putting it in your headline thing that you’re open to offers too. Though bear in mind your employer can see that (fuck them).

Nah, I'm not doing that. My employer is fine, I don't have anything against them, they're actually pretty good. These two are leaving of their own volition. They presumably got good offers elsewhere and one's just had another kid so if he needs/wants extra money then fair play.

I'm not going to rush into anything right away, would just liked to get an idea of what's out there. They'll be hiring more people soon. If they turn out to be arseholes, I'll definitely move on but if a good offer was to come along in the meantime, why not.

[Manc]

Sounds like you were shagging the pair of them.

[Raoul Duke]

Just updated the old linkedin and set my status to casually looking so recruiters can see. Just to see what's out there.

Possibly an overreaction to that news from earlier but I've quickly gone from feeling "this place is great, I'd stay here for 10 years" to "fuck this, might as well move on". We're a small office (nine including me) and there's three I really get on with and now two of them are leaving.

Actually, probably four tbf.

Can't you tap up the leavers and see if they might have a role for you where they're going?

Or step up and take their jobs if it's a promotion opportunity

[Shindig]

That's one thing I considered when our TL left for the DWP. The 'take me with you' part, I mean.

[Boydy]

Sounds like you were shagging the pair of them.
Liking the people I work with is important to me. :sorry:

Can't you tap up the leavers and see if they might have a role for you where they're going?

Or step up and take their jobs if it's a promotion opportunity

Yeah, one might, the other's in a different area so I'd imagine wherever he's going probably isn't applicable.

They're too senior for me to take over from them.

[Don]

Second day in a row of relentless work due to an approaching deadline for a long-running project which has lacked a project manager and has been a disjointed mess from day one of me joining it. Next 2 weeks are gonna be unadulterated filth, I fucking didn't have lunch till 6pm (21 hour fast) and haven't left the house for my daily walks either. Thankfully it'll be done soon and I'll hopefully be back to my normal calm team but I literally can't comprehend how some people can live their life like this on a daily basis. And then they fucking wonder why they get physical and mental problems. Just venting.

[Baz]

Today I watched four episodes of Entourage while working.

[Foe]

Today I watched four episodes of Entourage while working.

Victory!

[mo]

Definitely winding down a bit now. I'm planned up to the end of term so it's just dealing with emails and now, union issues. Advised a member to get signed off with stress today, head now wants an unspecified meeting with me. Might be something of nothing but he loves his mind games.

[Lewis]

Second day in a row of relentless work due to an approaching deadline for a long-running project which has lacked a project manager and has been a disjointed mess from day one of me joining it. Next 2 weeks are gonna be unadulterated filth, I fucking didn't have lunch till 6pm (21 hour fast) and haven't left the house for my daily walks either. Thankfully it'll be done soon and I'll hopefully be back to my normal calm team but I literally can't comprehend how some people can live their life like this on a daily basis. And then they fucking wonder why they get physical and mental problems. Just venting.

This will turn out to have been a compromised terror cell.

[Shindig]

Our work's ramped right up and, by the sounds of it, this is the new, present and forever normal. The benefit system will never be the same again.

[Manc]

I never did finish Entourage. The character development was v poor iirc.

[Boydy]

This will turn out to have been a compromised terror cell.

Are you saying Taz is a spook?

[Lewis]

He wishes.

[Foe]

I never did finish Entourage. The character development was v poor iirc.

It’s easy watching if you just accept its background entertainment with sporadic tits.

The film is not the best.

[Manc]

I don't think I could ever truly accept Murph as a ladies man.

[Baz]

:lol:

Not sure what’s happened (apologies to him if he’s had throat cancer or summat) but E’s voice on the new podcast is ridiculously annoying. Like if Bruce Springsteen had a sore throat, after only eating fish tank gravel for a week.

[Shindig]

3 more years of this job, then. Thanks, Covid.

[Spikey M]

What?

[Pepe]

The uni I work in was 6 million in the red last year and will be 24 million in the red (best case scenario) next year. :harold:

[Shindig]

Our contract with the DWP was up for renewal in 2021 (with the bidding process going on this year) but the DWP have decided just to hold station until at least 2023.

[Foe]

I mean you could, wild idea, go and do something else.

You might even find an interesting job out of it.

[Shindig]

Aye but it's much easier to do if your hand is forced. Besides, would you jump ship in a pandemic?

[Mike]

One of the school governors got every member of staff a Covid-19 Keyworker 2020 pen, a lovely reminder, in pen form, of the pandemic and it’s the strangest gift I’ve ever been given.
They’ve been labelled as ‘death pens’
We got a choice of blue or silver. I picked silver cos it had little celebrations stars on to make it extra bizarre.

[Don]

Day 3 of hell has seen about 40 emails sent by me which is an increase of [40×100/0]% to my norm and it's all just continually on a nice simmer with no sign of cooling until CoP tomorrow. I had to get out the house just now for a couple of hours for a walk or else shit would have gone real troublesome. Ready to bed in for a few more hours of work tonight before a 7am start and the carnage that shall ensue.

Daily announcements of job cuts warm the heart, come on UBI, you absolute cunt.

[Boydy]

What do you actually do?

[Jimmy Floyd]

What a day I had today. In the morning I was getting shelled as has become the norm, just a relentless barrage of enquiries where they give you no information to work on and need an answer immediately.

Then, just before lunch, suddenly my field manager rocks up at the office for the first time since the pandemic, with his white goatee and his 70s Del Boy swagger, and says he'll take me out to lunch as a thank you for all my work. So I say great, get in his Audi coupe and we end up at this tapas place in the nearby posher town. Only ones in there. Asks if I want red or white wine, I say probably white at lunchtime, so he orders rosé. Then he asks me what I want, there's some scallops on the menu for £7.95, seems a nice lunchtime option not taking the piss out of his wallet, so I say that. He proceeds to order that, and a fish/bean stew, and a whole bowl of chorizo, and jamón, and manchego, and albondigas, and TWO bowls of paella ('they're fucking tiny mate'), and a thing of 'potatoes bravos', and something he called 'chiperoni' by which I presume he meant squid. Fortunately, the squid never arrived.

So we're starting to inch our way through this ludicrous amount of food that he has ordered - him chivvying me with insults like: 'You've not had any chorizo, call yourself a fat bastard?' and the like. He's about 5 stone heavier than me and, the way he breathes, perhaps within 10-15 working days from death. All the while he's giving me all the goss, like who's about to be made redundant, and the reason why the MD keeps a particular woman in the office next to his is because he 'secretly loves' her.

Anyway, at the end, he tells me I have to have dessert, and I say you're having a laugh mate and refuse to order one, so he just orders me a panna cotta anyway (we're on about the third glass of rosé by now). Then, out of nowhere, he says: 'Here you are, mate' and thrusts a handful of crisp JMW Turner twenties at me across the table. I say 'You what?' and he says: 'It's a oner, mate, for all your hard work'. Sure enough, he is bunging me £100 cash as some kind of how can I put this, an 'informal bonus'. In my head I think should I be taking this, but there's no Hugh Granting my way out of this one so I accept it with a humble smile. I take the 'oner', and he pays the bill, and on the way out he says: 'Don't tell the boss about the little drink,' and because I'm so attuned to his barrow boy lingo by this point in the lunch, I know immediately that the 'little drink' in question is not the wine we've been guzzling, but the 'oner'. Glorious.

I then basically collapsed at the desk and could hardly do anything for the rest of the day, because that's what happens when you eat and drink and accept bungs at lunchtime.

[phonics]

Is there anything more satisfying than having lost the decision on which supplier to go with, the one they picked catastrophically fucks up left and right. I don't even mind picking up some of the pieces cause I just lol and say told you.

[Lewis]

'You've not had any chorizo, call yourself a fat bastard?'

:lol:

[Foe]

Sounds like a good day.

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/RxsD9ku.jpg

'You've not had any chorizo, call yourself a fat bastard?'

[Shindig]

See, you'd never get this stuff with the Koreans.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was firmly in Camp Korea but this has swung me over.

[Kikó]

Drinking and driving tut tut.

[mo]

What a day I had today. In the morning I was getting shelled as has become the norm, just a relentless barrage of enquiries where they give you no information to work on and need an answer immediately.

Then, just before lunch, suddenly my field manager rocks up at the office for the first time since the pandemic, with his white goatee and his 70s Del Boy swagger, and says he'll take me out to lunch as a thank you for all my work. So I say great, get in his Audi coupe and we end up at this tapas place in the nearby posher town. Only ones in there. Asks if I want red or white wine, I say probably white at lunchtime, so he orders rosé. Then he asks me what I want, there's some scallops on the menu for £7.95, seems a nice lunchtime option not taking the piss out of his wallet, so I say that. He proceeds to order that, and a fish/bean stew, and a whole bowl of chorizo, and jamón, and manchego, and albondigas, and TWO bowls of paella ('they're fucking tiny mate'), and a thing of 'potatoes bravos', and something he called 'chiperoni' by which I presume he meant squid. Fortunately, the squid never arrived.

So we're starting to inch our way through this ludicrous amount of food that he has ordered - him chivvying me with insults like: 'You've not had any chorizo, call yourself a fat bastard?' and the like. He's about 5 stone heavier than me and, the way he breathes, perhaps within 10-15 working days from death. All the while he's giving me all the goss, like who's about to be made redundant, and the reason why the MD keeps a particular woman in the office next to his is because he 'secretly loves' her.

Anyway, at the end, he tells me I have to have dessert, and I say you're having a laugh mate and refuse to order one, so he just orders me a panna cotta anyway (we're on about the third glass of rosé by now). Then, out of nowhere, he says: 'Here you are, mate' and thrusts a handful of crisp JMW Turner twenties at me across the table. I say 'You what?' and he says: 'It's a oner, mate, for all your hard work'. Sure enough, he is bunging me £100 cash as some kind of how can I put this, an 'informal bonus'. In my head I think should I be taking this, but there's no Hugh Granting my way out of this one so I accept it with a humble smile. I take the 'oner', and he pays the bill, and on the way out he says: 'Don't tell the boss about the little drink,' and because I'm so attuned to his barrow boy lingo by this point in the lunch, I know immediately that the 'little drink' in question is not the wine we've been guzzling, but the 'oner'. Glorious.

I then basically collapsed at the desk and could hardly do anything for the rest of the day, because that's what happens when you eat and drink and accept bungs at lunchtime.

:drool: vintage Floyd work anecdote. Can't beat them.

You may feel morally dubious about the 'oner', but it sounds like reasonable remuneration for your lockdown heroics at work. Plus if you feel really bad you could always donate it.

[Manc]

Firmly in his pocket. Can't wait for the sequel.

[Shindig]

I feel like this will keep happening as well. Any job he lands, Jimmy will quietly plug away as the best one in the office before taking the boss' daughter out to the MetroCentre ....

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't feel at all bad about it, I just wonder how on earth I've got to the point where I've ended up taking cash gifts from him in El Mesón on a Thursday lunchtime.

[SvN]

:drool: vintage Floyd work anecdote. Can't beat them.

You may feel morally dubious about the 'oner', but it sounds like reasonable remuneration for your lockdown heroics at work. Plus if you feel really bad you could always donate it.

If you think £100 is reasonable renumeration for the extra work he's done then send me your CV.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

£100 and some chorizo.

[phonics]

I’ve done probably around the same hours as Jim over lockdown period (about 100hr weeks for at least 3 weeks) and I’m getting 9% of my annual salary. You can do better than 100 quid.

Taking cash also means he has you over a barrel whenever he wants to get rid of you as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This guy will never want to get rid of me, he absolutely loves me, probably because I make him (commission only) more money than the chumps who came before me.

[phonics]

You’re making him hundreds of thousands and you’re taking a hundred. I would love you too.

[Shindig]

As if by magic, a job comes up in my email alerts I like the look of.

The catch is that it's in North Carolina. :D

[Boydy]

I'd forgotten how much I hate recruiters. Also, are they the only people left who still leave fucking voicemails?

[mo]

I left a voicemail today.

[Manc]

I've only been back a week and I've been informed my position will be reviewed come August. Jokes. Interviews lined up with HMRC and PHSO in the coming weeks.

[phonics]

Sending in an application to The Athletic next week to work in their graphics department. Absolute dream job and I hear their pay scale is good too.

[Lofty]

I was thinking about The Athletic today wondering how their model has been affected by the pandemic etc. Seems like they're always deep discounting their monthly fee.

[phonics]

Is there anything more satisfying than having lost the decision on which supplier to go with, the one they picked catastrophically fucks up left and right. I don't even mind picking up some of the pieces cause I just lol and say told you.

Stuff that got taken completely out of my hands went tits up to the point that Dr Tedros himself sent us angry emails.

After putting that fire out and playing some video games for an hour it was 3am and By the time it reached 5am and I couldn’t sleep before a 7am start i decided to just not bother.

After that I was allowed to take over and found out for some reason the woman from ‘Gorillas in the Mist’ is talking at our Covid Conference?

We’re halfway through the last session where due to being production, I can see one of the panelists fell asleep for at least 45 minutes off camera.

45 minutes and then Bill Gates rounds us out telling us that the microchips he’s putting in you vis corona vaccine are perfectly harmless.

Then I’m on holiday for 5 weeks. Thank fuck.

[Ian]

Apparently in my old job there are 5 or 6 people back in the office "for mental health reasons." But they are apparently all in their own separate little meeting rooms rather than distancing in the office. What does that achieve?

[Andy]

Gets them out of the house. They might have an abusive partner or someone who is hard work to be around 24/7.

I'm sure for some people having some sense of normality can really help with their mental health. Even if it's not completely normal.

[Ian]

If they were in the office together but distanced then yeah but I can't see how just sitting in a small boxy white room is going to help for more than a day or so.

[Don]

Work/home separation and routine of commuting will arguably have even more of an impact than the water cooler chats.

[Ian]

I guess. I'm glad for me it's not something I feel like I need because the idea of commuting an hour either way to sit in a small white room on my own sounds even more miserable.

[Giggles]

I guarantee not one of them has a "mental health" issue. They're bored.

[-james-]

Mental health can refer to things other than schizophrenia or wanting to hoy yourself off a bridge. I can attest to the fact that sitting within the same four walls for weeks on end can have an effect on your mood.

[mugbull]

Giggles would benefit among the most on this forum from mental health treatment

[Giggles]

Mental health can refer to things other than schizophrenia or wanting to hoy yourself off a bridge. I can attest to the fact that sitting within the same four walls for weeks on end can have an effect on your mood.

Your mood is not automatically a “mental health” issue. It’s lost all meaning any more anyway since it just became a fashion and an excuse for the lazy.

[Don]

I think it's just widened its scope mate.

[Giggles]

Fashion. Some generation of lazy limp wankers buying into that shite. The next world war will be some lol.

[Raoul Duke]

Work are giving us €180 each to spend on WFH equipment, which is pretty cool. Might get a fancy chair or a standing desk.

[Giggles]

I tried to get standing desks in when we did up the office just after Christmas and was shot down. Lazy fucks.

[Raoul Duke]

I had a cool one at a previous job which had a little electric motor for moving up and down. Ikea have some cheaper manual ones for about £200

[Danny]

We just got the notification that the office will remain closed until next year. I am going to try and wrangle myself a split week after that.

[Giggles]

I had a cool one at a previous job which had a little electric motor for moving up and down. Ikea have some cheaper manual ones for about £200

I’m going to ask can I have one at least and make the rest of them feel bad. I’d easily claim I do so much driving I need one.

[Don]

I've got a similiar hefty amount permissible for wasting on shit I don't need. A monitor would actually have been useful during this hectic last few weeks but the Next dining chair has been fanatstic. A standing table would be tasty but I don't think they come into our budget and ideally I need it to be easily stowed away so I may just hunt down some sturdy cardboard boxes to pile on to my dining table.

[Shindig]

I could do with a monitor instead of using the TV for work. The screen's stretched so I can't see the clock and I don't think I can fiddle the resolution settings.

[Don]

I'm using a laptop screen that's smaller than my juicy zucchini to do split screen document edits and it's recently started some constant jittering for full epileptic shock factor.

[Shindig]

That's the one thing I'm grateful for. The telly gives me plenty of space to do a two-screen job.

[Danny]

I was lucky I had a decent set up at home as it made the transition much easier. I just have to flip between the monitors for work/personal when the day starts/ends as both laptops are on docking stations.

[Shindig]

Covid-19 health inspectors are getting £35 an hour, apparently on a three-month job. Sounds like a nice racket if you've got the credentials for it. They'll be in demand for making premises Covid secure.

[Don]

2 hour organisation wide talk on BLM inspired race bollocks with 3 ethnics giving sob stories and white seniors giving lip service. They had a Q&A open where everyone was using it to piss about their struggles and 'white privelege'. The levels of restraint I had to show to not get involved and consequently lose my job should see me get a promotion, frankly.

[Foe]

Confirmed. Pre lockdown and post lockdown are the same.

Organising dates with tinder girls who turn out to be a whole lot larger than originally appreciated. Pumped her anyway because she was really nice. :(

[Shindig]

Working from home until at least November and any post-holiday quarantining (for those that can't work from home) has to be covered with annual or unpaid leave. Cool.

[Lewis]

A few of us are having our positions upgraded at work (from their current joke level to merely being conventionally under-valued), which means having to re-apply and interview for these 'new' jobs. That ought to be a formality, but I've thrown some excitement into the mix by moaning like shit about the whole process. See you in the re-deployment pool.

This kicked in on 'temporary promotion' this month, and it has worked out at a twenty-five per cent pay rise (still too low, so I'll be chimping out for a skills allowance next year). :cool:

[Dquincy]

Confirmed. Pre lockdown and post lockdown are the same.

Organising dates with tinder girls who turn out to be a whole lot larger than originally appreciated. Pumped her anyway because she was really nice. :(
Respect this a lot.

Surely you just steer clear of ladies with just face shots on their profile?

[Foe]

Nah, I’d instigated photos before hand so
I was relatively confident this wasn’t the case.

Turns out, friends lies to me, the camera doesn’t add ten pounds, it hides about 40. :(

[Manc]

Fair play to the lass. Can't have been easy once she saw the bald head.

[Smjffy]

After nearly three weeks back in work I would have thought it would be a bit easier by now but I'm absolutely shot physically. :moop: I embrace every rainy day just because it's quieter.

[John]

After nearly three weeks back in work I would have thought it would be a bit easier by now but I'm absolutely shot physically. :moop: I embrace every rainy day just because it's quieter.

Do you work the kitchen on your own, Smiff? How many covers do you do on a good day?

[SvN]

Back in my student days I did kitchen work in a pub. It was almost all grilling/frying/microwaving stuff, so I'm not sure I'd call it the work of a "chef". But it was gruelling work. I was the only person in the kitchen, and had to cook, clean and wash up plates solo.

The Rugby World Cup final in 2007 was one of the worst shifts of any work I've ever done. Pub was absolutely rammed, and every fucker in there ordered food. Must've been at least 100 meals at one point.

[Lewis]

All in your coat as well. I'm sweating just imagining it.

[Spikey M]

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

One of my colleagues has been discovered having sold five pumps for £6.50 each when the cost price was £300 each. Really admirable effort from him, I can only dream of such commercial mastery.

The knock on effect is the boss is prowling the office every ten minutes loudly bitching about it. Professionalism breeds yet more professionalism.

[Ian]

Has he done it and taken something on the side to save the customer money and pocket some extra himself or is he just an idiot?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The latter. Still a pretty impressive effort though as there are loads of margin controls built into our system. I take my hat off to him, all those American sales books need re-writing now.

[Ian]

Superb work.

One of our managers described a colleague of mine as a "fucking buffoon" on the phone last week. Not while on the phone to said colleague, obviously. Doubly pleasing though, not only is the guy weird and stupid but you just don't hear "buffoon" getting used much these days.

[Don]

Enabling a toxic work environment is not very 2020 mate.

[Spikey M]

I once had a manager that pretended to have a 'Mong Gong' and would proceed to mime hitting it and shout 'mooooooong' every time someone said or did something stupid.

He also slept under a desk whilst a load of us were doing Saturday overtime.

I wonder what became of him. He's either blagged himself to the top or he lives at the bottom of a permanent K-hole. It will be one or the other. No in between.

[Spikey M]

Facebook says he's a Divorced painter/decorator now. K-hole it is.

[Ian]

He also slept under a desk whilst a load of us were doing Saturday overtime.

Were the two things related? Like, was he pretending he was there to make sure people were working or did it just not concern him that people were in the office while he wanted to kip under his work desk one weekend?

[Manc]

They really are a different breed.

[Spikey M]

Were the two things related? Like, was he pretending he was there to make sure people were working or did it just not concern him that people were in the office while he wanted to kip under his work desk one weekend?

He only got promoted because he married the big bosses god-daughter. He gave zero fucks. I should also add that he had been out the night before and, quite possibly, came to work straight from the club.

[Ian]

A guy I used to work with got a sort-of year-long final warning (I'm sure there's a proper word for that but it's escaping me) for letting himself into the office (where we had staff 24/7) after a gig absolutely hammered and going to sleep on a bean bag.

But then he also staggered to the office after a Christmas night out on the way to get the train and absolutely obliterated the disabled toilet so it's a wonder they didn't just take his pass off him.

[Lewis]

The 'Mong Gong' is the best thing I've heard in ages.

[Spikey M]

It was great. He was basically Finch out of the Office.

[Disco]

I think my favourite disciplinary write up went something like 'Drew a large phallic shape in sawdust in reference to a current Director and refused to erase it'

Better than when I had to sit in a meeting and recount a report of one of our drivers shitting in a service station car park.

[Smjffy]

Do you work the kitchen on your own, Smiff? How many covers do you do on a good day?

Three of us at the moment but normally five, reduced due to social distancing. Covers wise....anything from 100 - 200 a day, really. I don't understand this perception that people need help to eat out, we've been mad busy for weeks now.

[Lofty]

I think my favourite disciplinary write up went something like 'Drew a large phallic shape in sawdust in reference to a current Director and refused to erase it'

Better than when I had to sit in a meeting and recount a report of one of our drivers shitting in a service station car park.

:D

At my wife's spot a guy got sacked because he was sat in a client meeting with the directors, scribbling away on his notepad. When asked what he was doing he was forced to reveal a very detailed drawing of a cock. Immediate dismissal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had yesterday off (the first day since Feb) and honestly have returned to a complete bomb site. The others are completely incapable of covering my work even for 1 day, which makes me think either I'm a genius with the work rate of a Trojan (unlikely), or they are all literally fucking useless. When I cover their work it's a doddle.

[Ian]

Have they tried to do it and done it badly or just not really bothered?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Both. The morning stuff they botched, the afternoon they just didn't even attempt. Then one of them phoned me up to tell me he'd 'fallen out' with one of the others over it. All in all, a splendid display of teamwork.

[Spikey M]

it's one of the joys of annual leave. I came back from a weeks leave once and one of my colleagues had been dealing with one of the biggest scammers on my patch without reading the notes on the case.

She referred her for support, gave her a 'love to shop' voucher so that she can get some food in and promised 'no further action during this difficult time'.

Which is great, except she was due in court the next month due to her boyfriend running a fucking drugs empire from their flat. Apparently the Gucci handbag and sun glasses weren't a big enough clue that she might just about be doing alright financially.

It was a great look when she presented the court with a letter from us promising 'no further action'.

[Don]

I still need to break it to my new temporary team that I am planning on taking most of August off. I've proved myself to such a degree that I fear they may try to postpone my plans (which wouldn't be the worst thing as I'd rather have the time off after the great global fatty purge is complete). What isn't so great is they've lined me up to replace some absolute technical rainman of a geezer as he goes on leave next week. I've watched how this guy's mind operates in sheer awe for the last 3 months, it's truly something else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't just been covering their shit while they sat in the garden for a paid 3 month holiday.

[Kikó]

I've got my annual leave in 2 weeks :drool:

(Another case for you to ask for a promotion/pay rise)

[Dquincy]

Gosh, aren't you all so great at your jobs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Probably why we're still in them.

[Kikó]

Boom!

[SvN]

I've got next week off. I'm going to do my very best to switch off entirely.

[Baz]

Same.

Been told today that it’s unlikely we’ll ever have “our own desks” again, at least not for the foreseeable. A lot of oddballs with family photos and potted cactus plants cluttering up their mouse space are gonna whinge when that news gets out. :harold:

[Foe]

Yeah I’m quite concerned with that in the office. If you do a job where you don’t need a bunch of physical reference materials or work in a collaborative team it’s fine. Would be a nightmare for me.

[Baz]

Yeah I’m quite concerned with that in the office. If you do a job where you don’t need a bunch of physical reference materials or work in a collaborative team it’s fine. Would be a nightmare for me.

Same tbh, but I’ve been loving the life of a home worker for so long that I’m pretending it’ll be fine.

[Shindig]

I'll never understand why people hold on to so much shit. Especially in my job where all the reference materials are on a website or in your inbox. And cuddly toys. Fuck off with that.

[Pepe]

You gotta "make it your own".

[Kikó]

Clean desk policy for the win.

[Giggles]

I’ve a week coming up myself. All calls diverted to the office from 3pm tomorrow.

[Spikey M]

I'll never understand why people hold on to so much shit. Especially in my job where all the reference materials are on a website or in your inbox. And cuddly toys. Fuck off with that.

I have been asked on a number of occasions why I don't have pictures of my family all over my desk. I live with them. I remember what they look like.

[Manc]

Cold.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I couldn't cope with a clean desk policy. I always have it covered in shit - 15 engine catalogues, pages and pages of notes from phone calls etc, post its stuck everywhere with orders written on them or people's bank details and so on. Calculator, ruler to measure things, pens, the works. If it wasn't my own space I just couldn't work properly.

[Mike]

I'll never understand why people hold on to so much shit. Especially in my job where all the reference materials are on a website or in your inbox. And cuddly toys. Fuck off with that.

You’ve not seen anything until you’ve seen the crap TA’s keep for no reason at all. I worked with someone for the last 3 years, both supporting the same child, she had two sets of draws (three dreams in each set) full to bursting with stuff that ‘might come in handy’
I’m looked on as some sort of weirdo because all I had was the pack a speech therapist had left.

[Pepe]

They will be testing each and every one of us every two weeks. :harold:

[mo]

Really not looking forward to have to cart all my stuff with me all over school in September (I’m a messy desk person). Going to be a fucking nightmare so trying not to think about it for the time being.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's ages since I've been in a school, do teachers normally have their own classroom and stick there?

I seem to remember at my gaff you'd have the big names in their own fortress like Mr McBay in room 10, Dr Harris in room 5, Mr Orr in room 3 and so on but I'm sure there were some floaters as well, further down the pecking order.

[Danny]

The only time we had it like that was when there were teachers who did a couple of subjects. Science and IT teacher crossing over or PE teachers who taught something random like geography.

Otherwise I think it was pretty set.

[Spikey M]

Of course Jimmy's school had Dr's for teachers.

[randomlegend]

Rotations have been reinstated so I've got 4 months in colorectal surgery from tomorrow.

Joy.

[Boydy]

That sounds like a pain in the arse.

[randomlegend]

My worst medical school memory is standing in theatre at 8am watching some poor bugger have their haemarrhoids cauterised. Nothing like the smell of charred anus in the morning.

[Lewis]

Of course Jimmy's school had Dr's for teachers.

I looked into private school teaching when I got mine. They don't care about formal teaching qualifications, so I was told that it was a decent route for no-mark academics. I think I only applied for a couple in the end, but from the websites I found the real money is in tutoring. If you have a couple of languages under your belt there seems to be no shortage of criminals and human rights abusers willing to pay you megabucks to babysit their cunt kids.

[Raoul Duke]

That sounds like a pain in the arse.

Just wanted to acknowledge this. KUTGW


Nothing like the smell of charred anus in the morning.

Luca will be in here shortly with a fancy Italian name for it, claiming it's a Sicilian delicacy or whatever

[Disco]

Not as poncey as charred lettuce I assume.

[Spikey M]

When you assume, you make an Ass out of U and randomlegend.

[Disco]

Yeah yeah, tell me about it in 18 months time diary boy.

[Don]

First day off today and won't be returning till 1st September :drool:

First week of break has been tarnished by having to rest from my near fatal accident and I'll have to do a fair bit of life admin with the house situation and some bits of work to ease my return but FIRST OF SEPTEMBER, YOU CUNTS.

[Ian]

Bastard.

[Disco]

Three weeks will fly by.

[Offshore Toon]

I came off my bike a month ago and my ribs still ache. It was worth it for the week off, but it's delayed my progression in becoming Jersey's top heavyweight boxer.

I'm back working from home again doing 'training' and it's a struggle. Might ask to go into our office as I know it's empty.

They're giving us £200 in our wage to make our home working environment more comfortable, though. Straight into our wage with no questions asked. Gotta love 'em.

[Don]

Are you suggesting you wouldn't return it if you didn't spend £200 on wheely chairs and a mouse?

[Pepe]

Rumors going that we will be required to download an app that will use gps and wifi for contact tracing. Not gonna happen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know it's America, but even there surely that's against some freedomz law.

[Pepe]

I would assume so. The biweekly testing is annoying enough as is.

EDIT: I will just ignore it and my guess is nothing will happen. Just like that time I got a MANDATORY sexual assault training assigned. I emailed back asking what was the punishment for not doing it, what with it being mandatory and all, and basically got a 'dunno lol' reply. Have yet to complete it, even though I get it assigned every year.

EDIT2:


Pepe –



I’m sorry for the delay in my response. Any penalty will be up to the individual school to determine. Are there any questions I can answer that might allow you to complete the complete the training? It takes 30-45 minutes.



Thanks.



jwk

Director, Title IX Office & Title IX Coordinator

:harold:

[Giggles]

Rumors going that we will be required to download an app that will use gps and wifi for contact tracing. Not gonna happen.

You could just download it voluntarily like the civilised world.

[Shindig]

EDIT: I will just ignore it and my guess is nothing will happen. Just like that time I got a MANDATORY sexual assault training assigned. I emailed back asking what was the punishment for not doing it, what with it being mandatory and all, and basically got a 'dunno lol' reply. Have yet to complete it, even though I get it assigned every year.


There was a big opportunity there for the punishment to be a mandatory sexual assault.

[randomlegend]

Who's going to volunteer to sexually assault a Mexican?

[Shindig]

Americans have been fucking them for years.

[Pepe]

You could just download it voluntarily like the civilised world.

Are you all been tracked constantly?

[Giggles]

Are you all been tracked constantly?

Any imbecile knows, if they look at the publicly released source code, that you’re in no way being tracked. Tinfoil hattery, you’ve been in the land of the free too long.

[Pepe]

Any imbecile knows, if they look at the publicly released source code, that you’re in no way being tracked. Tinfoil hattery, you’ve been in the land of the free too long.

What?

[Kikó]

Any imbecile knows, if they look at the publicly released source code, that you’re in no way being tracked. Tinfoil hattery, you’ve been in the land of the free too long.

Lol.

[mugbull]

I agree with the sentiment, but i’m lolling at the thought of Giggles poring over source code

[Boydy]

If they really wanted to track you, they don't need you to install that specific app either.

[Offshore Toon]

Are you suggesting you wouldn't return it if you didn't spend £200 on wheely chairs and a mouse?
I might put it towards a new personal laptop to use as a second screen. I actually wouldn't mind a proper comfy desk chair, but that'll be well over £200 surely?

I could just spend it in Brighton next month when I destress from all the working from home stuff. That's surely as important as a cheap desk.

[Pepe]

If they really wanted to track you, they don't need you to install that specific app either.

They the government, probably. But they my employer? I hope not. I rarely carry my phone anyways.

[Boydy]

I might put it towards a new personal laptop to use as a second screen. I actually wouldn't mind a proper comfy desk chair, but that'll be well over £200 surely?

I could just spend it in Brighton next month when I destress from all the working from home stuff. That's surely as important as a cheap desk.

Couldn't you just get a monitor for a second screen? Way cheaper.

Unless you want a laptop anyway, then fair enough.

[Boydy]

They the government, probably. But they my employer? I hope not. I rarely carry my phone anyways.
Ah, thought you meant it was the government forcing you. Doubt your employer would care to trace where you've been anyway even if they could.

[Pepe]

Ah, thought you meant it was the government forcing you. Doubt your employer would care to trace where you've been anyway even if they could.


We will have a supplemental contact tracing system at xxx. The xxx App for tracking should be launched in the coming days. [...] . We will also collect GPS and wifi data to identify contacts.

In any case, I am not installing any app.

[Lewis]

I still can't decide whether Giggles being a MASSIVE fanny about all of this is completely on-brand or wildly out of character. You could make a strong case either way.

[Giggles]

I still can't decide whether Giggles being a MASSIVE fanny about all of this is completely on-brand or wildly out of character. You could make a strong case either way.

“All of” being the app and tracking thing, or pandemic in general?

[Offshore Toon]

Couldn't you just get a monitor for a second screen? Way cheaper.

Unless you want a laptop anyway, then fair enough.
I could, yeah. I might get a PC instead of a laptop, actually.

[Baz]

Odd that this article (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-dc2d6e2d-3ab4-42de-8d03-bb7eda5fff8e) doesn’t mention the lure of loading up FM.

[Shindig]

I hope to God this is the last pandemic I work through. 40,000 cases in two weeks. That's a hard deadline as well. :|

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Odd that this article (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-dc2d6e2d-3ab4-42de-8d03-bb7eda5fff8e) doesn’t mention the lure of loading up FM.

Fuck Laila the anti-vaxer.

[Lewis]

“All of” being the app and tracking thing, or pandemic in general?

In general. I could easily see you as the 'I'll do what I want let people die', taking selfies without a mask on in shops sort as much as you being a turbofanny hiding under the bed and roaring about pubs being open. If you could explain your thinking it would help me out immensely.

[Giggles]

I’m just too caring. It’s a curse.

[Shindig]

Fuck the new normal. Training over the phone is shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good Morning Dear !
I hope You’re after Holiday, feel good and healthy.
It’s strange but during Covid I have more to do as usually. Not bed, exactly.
Please offer me following parts for engines:

From a 60 year old man I sell to about 4 times a year. The Poles >>>> all other peoples

[Baz]

Meanwhile I’ve had a [company-wide] email saying the building my office is in is no longer being used for offices. :cab:

I have to book a slot in the first week of September to collect my belongings (a cup, a bottle and a monkey teddy :rolleyes:) and then I’m out on own. Can book desks in my old [much nicer] office building if i need to go do some printing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The mass sell-off of office buildings should sort out the national housing stock, if anyone involved knows what they're doing.

[Giggles]

I had a customer throw a little tantrum the other week and I was told he’d get someone else down in future and I was useless, after I drove 50km out of my way home from a job to call in and hadn’t the parts needed.

He’s just called to say they’re in dire need of a callout and guess who’s the only person available?

*insert smug as fuck gif here*

[Ian]

https://i.giphy.com/media/Vff5Qxz6LLzag/giphy.webp

[Giggles]

They’re 2 hours away. I should really send him a photo of me opening a can at 5pm.

[Spikey M]

https://i.giphy.com/media/Vff5Qxz6LLzag/giphy.webp

There is a brief moment in that gif where it is definitely David Beckham.

[Shindig]

The mass sell-off of office buildings should sort out the national housing stock, if anyone involved knows what they're doing.

"Oooh, I like the big windows." <instant sale>

[Spikey M]

Got to go into the office today to do some paperwork. First time since May. 2nd wave needs to get a move on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was telling my m8s (all working from home) about daily office life and they were all looking at me like I had time travelled, or visited another solar system.

'You mean... there are no screens? What about a one way system?'
'Nope.'
'So... you just go in... like before?'
'Yep.'
'How do you have meetings?!'
'In rooms.'
'Wooooow... that's MENTAL'

[Spikey M]

My place is pretty much the opposite, but they love taking things to unnecessary extremes at the best of timed. My office (normally 8 people) only has the 2 most distant desks open and we have to book them if we wish to use them. We have to hand sanitise on the way in. Wipe down the work station before and after use and wear a mask if we're doing anything but sitting at the desk.

I'm going for a pint with the bloke I'm in with today afterwards too, during which neither of us will be wearing masks. Lol

[Lofty]

Yeah apparently my office might be going completely hot desk, which is a shitter as I had a plum position hidden in the corner facing outwards ensuring I could see anyone approaching whilst no-one could see what I was up to. Also I had just wangled a new executive chair out of my department's budget which I barely had chance to work an arse groove into :moop:

[SvN]

Isn't hot desking one of the things that is specifically advised against?

[Giggles]

Yeah you'd think it would be the exact thing not to do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you have someone wiping it down then it could be OK I guess, but it just sounds like desperation to lose floor space for cost reasons.

[Ian]

Our office was hot desk but we've been told when the office first opens it'll just be for people who need it and you'll be assigned a desk and then I assume the cleaners will be told to give the booked desks a more thorough clean or something.

[Don]

Hot-desking is the step towards permanent WFH, you'd imagine. It's over lads, we'll be telling tales of the office environment to ourkids and they'll sit wide-eyed in fascination that I had to pull two excrement coated door handles to exit my toilet.

Every year for the past 4 at this time I've read the RAIL FARES TO GO UP BY X.Y% headlines and thought we can't be far from the revolt, well...how's them apples, you treacherous cunts? (Please keep the late night/early morning services and if anything, increasing them though. Yours truly, your loyal beloved customer)

[Lofty]

Rail fares have always gone up, it really shouldn't be news at this point. The amount of season ticket holders who had been commuting as long as I had been working on the trains expressing their surprise at possibly the most reliable annual event ever was quite astounding.

[SvN]

It's just the media writing easy stories to provoke outrage.

"The prices have gone up yet the cancellations and delays are worse than ever!"

[Don]

I think the maths is pretty damning if you look at the increases over a period of 10+ years. There's no way it was in line with the benefits which is why I thought the revolt was inevitable.

But I mean, it's a handout society we're all striving for so I'll be fucked if I ain't fighting for my greedy slice.

[Kikó]

The annoyance with rises is definitely value for service and v inflation it's ridiculous.

[Lofty]

Getting anything done on the railway is an expensive task though, some companies driver's won't turn up for less than £500 depending on the day of the week.

[Lewis]

Anyone moaning about train fares should walk to work, drive to work, or move closer to work.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Or water jet-pack it to work.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/26/article-2208711-14F599F5000005DC-998_634x381.jpg

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2208711/Bored-old-commute-Meet-businessman-flies-work-Bond-style-jet-pack.html

Only £115k but fuck it.

[Don]

Anyone moaning about train fares should walk to work, drive to work, or move closer to work.

I think it was nearing the point of people doing the latter or slowly getting more local jobs, hence the revolution was coming one way or another.

[Kikó]

Anyone moaning about train fares should walk to work, drive to work, or move closer to work.

Make housing affordable or create more jobs outside of London?

[Lewis]

Massive railway subsidies help maintain that status quo.

[phonics]

Considering the subsidies we're paying, why don't we just take it over rather than asking Richard Branson for leftover change?

What is the point in private enterprise if the price always goes up and the service gets worse?

It's cheaper for me to go from Switzerland to Paris/Milan/Madrid than Bristol to London and the train is on time. I don't understand how the UK fucks it up so bad.

[Raoul Duke]

Just hire the lads from Japan to sort it all out

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/o0rg4pw.png
https://i.imgur.com/3gQ2JNI.png

lol a country with 1/3rd of the population spends more, owns all the assets, and makes a profit.

[Lewis]

The government regulates the life out of it and then has to bail its own failures out. The worst of both worlds, pissing into the wind since 1921.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/aug/21/crossrail-delayed-again-until-2022-and-another-450m-over-budget-tfl-covid-19

£19bn for a 73 mile line, it's white collar crime of the highest level. Give me some comparable EU/world projects phonics.

[Kikó]

Be nice if they could electrify the railway in the North before sinking more cash into London.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I went on a train from Manchester to Rochdale once (don't ask) my best guess was that a couple of hefty blokes were running along the track pulling it. The journey took about 4 years.

[niko_cee]

And yet you probably arrived several decades before you left.

[Shindig]

Be nice if they could electrify the railway in the North before sinking more cash into London.

Careful. My first trip to Edinburgh took two hours because the train lost traction outside Berwick. :moop: Still, it's better than what America limps on with.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-53726607


After five months of working from home, she says her back was "in absolute agony" from sitting hunched over her laptop without a proper desk.

I would say 'get a proper desk' but she makes it sound like her London flat is a shoebox and her husband wins most of the arguments.

[Don]

First day off today and won't be returning till 1st September :drool:

First week of break has been tarnished by having to rest from my near fatal accident and I'll have to do a fair bit of life admin with the house situation and some bits of work to ease my return but FIRST OF SEPTEMBER, YOU CUNTS.

Christ, how the mighty fall. Someone get Chrissy Nolan on the phone :sick:

Ain't done a jot of that work I was planning to do too.

[Smjffy]

I've had maybe one day off in nearly three weeks but tonight was the last of that stupid mother fucking eatouttohelpout bullshit and I'll be amazed if there is no spike in Covid around here.

If there isn't then it's all bollocks. FML though, I thought I'd left my life and found myself experiencing Groundhog Day recently.

I'm going to do one or two more months then I'm signing out of kitchen life for good. It's just not for me any more as I feel I need to do something more with myself.

[Don]

Obviously would have been nice to do this in the 4 weeks prior to restarting but the time has come to get myself a monitor even though I'll probs be back in glorious Landan town soon enough and the purchase is really only a desperate attempt in the hope it'll improve my productivity after what has been a dire day of procrastination.

I just need something that doesn't weigh a tonne so I can move it off the dining table if needs be. The choice is dizzying for my budget of £100.

I read a little about it and tbh I don't think I care about aspect ratio, response time, refresh rate, etc so I may just go with an Ip Dip Do. VA, IPS, LCD, TN, does any of this shit matter?

[Baz]

If it’s just for work, just go for as big as your budget allows.

And if it’s from Amazon, hit me up for a referral link.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My boss says 'go ahead and...' before every single verb he uses, and it's really starting to get on my tits.

I'm going to go ahead and go out for lunch
Can you go ahead and contact the customer please
We all need to go ahead and check before we go ahead and send quotes out like that

Aaaaaaaagh.

[Baz]

Sounds exactly like Office Space.

[Spikey M]

My boss says 'go ahead and...' before every single verb he uses, and it's really starting to get on my tits.

I'm going to go ahead and go out for lunch
Can you go ahead and contact the customer please
We all need to go ahead and check before we go ahead and send quotes out like that

Aaaaaaaagh.

I think we all do something like that, but once you've noticed it, you're destined to a lifetime of triggering.

I went to Uni with someone that could never answer a question correctly first time.

If he agrees, you got "Nah, yeah exactly" if he disagreed you got "Yeah, nah". I currently work with a woman (obvs not right now, thank you Covid) who answered everything. EVERYTHING with 'Perfect'.

Cup of tea? Perfect! Ah, no tea bags. Ugh, perfect!

Fuck off!

[SvN]

Yeah, we all do it. I'm not sure what mine is, but I did find myself saying "Absolutely" a lot recently, and made an effort to stop it.

You know those little gaps between sentences when someone is explaining something? The ones that people say "Right" or "Mm-hmm", and nod? My co-worker uses "Okey-dokey" every single time, and it infuiritates the living hell out of me.

[phonics]

:D

[Kikó]

My colleague says "I guess" every sentence. He knows as well but hasn't been able to sort his life out to stop saying it.

[Don]

+1 for "absolutely" as nice filler. And also "we'll see" when there's fuck all destination to what I'm waffling. That often results in me saying "we'll see what happens" about four times towards the end of call as opposed to "fuck off now".

[Pepe]

I saw "anyway" a lot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mine is 'Happy days' in response to basically any situation (good or bad), but I probably only say it about once a day in reality. I've just performed a comprehensive search of emails for 'Go ahead and...' man, and can confirm he has never even once used it in writing. Weird.

[Ian]

Like Taz I definitely have some (possibly including 'we'll see what happens' or similar) when what I want to say is "I don't want to be on the phone any more, stop talking."

[Spikey M]

My go to meaningless platitude - usually when someone old is determined to set the world to rights - is "it is what it is". If they double down, I fall back on "I get you John, now I'll let you go so you can tell the rest of 'em". Hilarity then ensues, and I put the phone down amidst breathless goodbyes.

[Baz]

I work with someone who needlessly adds “and stuff” to the end of most sentences. Most of the time it doesn’t even make sense.

[Lewis]

Somebody at my work, who I have reason to believe lives in a constant state of buried SEETHE, says 'Jolly good' when he's having to push yet another potential emotional explosion deep down inside.

[mugbull]

I can’t begin an email without “I’m just writing so that...” “Just wanted to see” “i just wanted to know whether”. If there were synonyms for just I’d get an RNG out and mix it up, but i don’t think there are any

[Ian]

I quite often do that one.

I think I over-use "just" in emails in general to be honest and often have to go back through and reword the starts of some sentences.

[Shindig]

Well, that was a fun month. All hands on deck to nudge this backlog five inches from where it started. It feels like we're still stalling until the old normal comes back.

[Foe]

Do you aspirations to be a manager shindig?

You’re so passionate about this.

About a month until I find out if I have a career/job or not.

[Shindig]

Nah, no ambitions to climb the ladder. Not in this place. Change is coming in 2021 anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yesterday the joint chairman mysteriously rang me to ask how my Spanish is. Today I've been summoned for a meeting with him and MD at 2.30. If they're sending me to Bolivia, please accept my thanks for all the posting fun these last 15 or so years.

[Ian]

It's always good when a manager asks you a question that starts the alarm bells ringing but won't tell you why.

How is your Spanish?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I could, and perhaps should, be Marcelo Bielsa's translator. But I couldn't be Marcelo Bielsa himself.

[Ian]

I mean Spanish isn't that hard, really.

"OI, PEDRO, DOS PIE AND CHIPS POR FAVOUR."

Obviously you have to bellow that at the top of your voice very slowly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They don't even get put off by how utterly terrible the pie and chips are in Spain.

[Ian]

I won a cheapo holiday near Malaga a couple of years ago and I reckon about 70% of the top-rated places on tripadvisor were various British or Irish bars with reviews saying "ROAST DINNER JUST LIKE I'D HAVE HAD AT HOME FRED WAS A GREAT HOST AND IT'S THE BEST PINT OF CARLING I'VE EVER HAD" or whatever the fuck these people write about. Grim stuff.

Still, that's going to be your life soon so good luck!

[SvN]

Those British cafe's in Spain with plastic patio furniture and €3.99 all day breakfasts are tragic.

[Spikey M]

Just you lot wait until Bam sees this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So, it turns out they're not sending me to Bolivia.

They want to send me to do a full lap of Latin America over 4 two-week trips a year.

Jesus Christ.

[Boydy]

That would be quite fun if it wasn't for the pandemic.

[Ian]

They know a lot about llama husbandry over there, this could be a great learning opportunity.

[Spikey M]

So, it turns out they're not sending me to Bolivia.

They want to send me to do a full lap of Latin America over 4 two-week trips a year.

Jesus Christ.

My Wifes Uncle did this for a Medical Supplies company. He earned 6 figures a year and retired in his 40's.

Do it. Bank the experience.

[Ian]

He earned 6 figures a year and retired in his 40's.

:drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I will do it. Took a bit of sinking in while I was in there, even though as you can see I kind of guessed it in advance. Eventually managed to communicate that yes, I'd be interested. Then came out and thought jeez, I hope they'll actually promote/pay me accordingly. But I can ask that the next time I'm in there.

But as Boydy says, I'm probably not going anywhere until Covid fucks off.

[Lewis]

There are some great overseas postings on the internal civil service website. I would love a year on Ascension Island or the Falklands knowing they had left my job open for me, but unfortunately they want you for two or three.

[Boydy]

I will do it. Took a bit of sinking in while I was in there, even though as you can see I kind of guessed it in advance. Eventually managed to communicate that yes, I'd be interested. Then came out and thought jeez, I hope they'll actually promote/pay me accordingly. But I can ask that the next time I'm in there.

But as Boydy says, I'm probably not going anywhere until Covid fucks off.

Yeah, as long as they don't expect you to go when all this shit is going on.

And yeah, they better pay/promote you. Also rinse those expenses. :drool:

[Luca]

Insist on flying business and rack up those Avios miles, my man.

[Shindig]

"It allows me to socially distance."

We got the Voluntary Redundancy slide show today. No way I'm taking that in the middle of this.

[Smjffy]

Why do I get the feeling I'm about to get fucked again? :moop:

[Spikey M]

Start asking around local supermarkets Smiff, if we do start locking down they will need more online shopping staff. Plus, you'll be a key worker so we can all clap for you in round 2 of "who's the nicest neighbour".

[Baz]

Nah that’s strictly for NHS staff, not key workers. Fuck you teachers, postal workers, social workers, supermarket staff, etc.