UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's been a dead man walking since the last lot, this just confirms it. Who knows when the execution will actually take place.

[Lewis]

Summer. Nothing better to do, post-local elections, decent run up to the next financial whatever it is.

[Ian]

I look forward to "everything's okay now, Boris is gone" and their majority increasing.

[Spikey M]

Is it going to be Rishi? I'm struggling to think of a viable alternative.

[niko_cee]

Liz Truss apparently. :lol:

[Spikey M]

Fuck off. Just stick with Boris then. Jesus.

At least give it to Priti Patel if they want to troll.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rishi could win (narrowly), but am 95% sure Liz Truss would lose to Starmer.

[Ian]

Fucking Starmer. He's a useless cunt as well.

Though I suppose I don't yet know if he's also a corrupt liar so there'd be an element of something to look forward to with that.

[Spikey M]

When was the last time there was a complete void of leaders across all parties like this?

[niko_cee]

When John Major snuck in.

[Spikey M]

I don't know, Blair was a leader. A lying, War Criminal cunt of a leader, but a leader all the same.

[Jimmy Floyd]

90-92 featured John Major v Kinnock, which was pretty shit (as was Major v Smith, despite the wails of nostalgists) but I doubt anything will ever come close to the Boris v Corbyn era.

[Spikey M]

Starmer might be worse than Corbyn in terms of Leadership. With the right MP's behind him, Corbyn would have been a fairly strong opposition leader. He has some spunk. Starmer on the other hand... he's just a complete melt, isn't he? He's clever enough and he's made Johnson look a wally a few times, but he's just so fucking weak.

[Ian]

Starmer might be worse than Corbyn in terms of Leadership. With the right MP's behind him, Corbyn would have been a fairly strong opposition leader. He has some spunk. Starmer on the other hand... he's just a complete melt, isn't he? He's clever enough and he's made Johnson look a wally a few times, but he's just so fucking weak.

I think the thing is he could have been doing this on the regular if he really wanted to, but I also have no idea what they're supposed to be for at the moment other than "hoping people get sick of the Tories of their own accord and vote Labour."

An opposition leader with anything about him should have been coming out of the last year or so looking mega but he's such a wet blanket.

[Spikey M]

If I'm being kind, I'm wondering if he just doesn't want to risk actually having to be PM in this climate, which I understandable, but being so shit that the Lib Dems start stealing your voters is overdoing it a bit.

[niko_cee]

Starmer only gets the next election [as is the case for all major leaders] so he's going to have to suck it up and accept the situation he'll have to be PM in if he wants to be PM. More likely he'll lose narrowly to Sunak, and the next election after that will usher in the decade of centre-left politics. I suppose there is perhaps scope for a Lib-Lab coalition to more closely ape the demise of the last political dynasty [than that of the one before].

[Yevrah]

Starmer might be worse than Corbyn in terms of Leadership. With the right MP's behind him, Corbyn would have been a fairly strong opposition leader. He has some spunk. Starmer on the other hand... he's just a complete melt, isn't he? He's clever enough and he's made Johnson look a wally a few times, but he's just so fucking weak.

"We won the argument if not the election" makes Corbyn the worst leader of any major political party in my lifetime.

[Lewis]

Starmer is crap, but he's better than most of his MPs. The Conservatives might be shit in their own ways, but the sheer amount of genuine retards on the Labour benches is astonishing.

[Spikey M]

He has the brain but no balls. Basically the opposite of Johnson. Put them together and you'd potentially have a decent PM. Or a murderous dictator.

[Lofty]

No way Rishi returns anything like an 80 strong majority from the electorate that wanted Brexit done.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, my money is on Boris being gone now. This is a step too far.

[Ian]

I'm loving the outrage from all the members of his party who presumably have known about this since these piss-ups took place.

Absolutely appalled that these parties are in the news.

Happened, sorry. Appalled that they happened.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't see why random MPs would necessarily have known about a number 10 staff party two years ago, but once it comes out that Boris has lied about having been to it, he's toast.

You can only get away with things for so long.

[Spikey M]

57 years was a good run though.

[-james-]

1480971261824143365

:chortle:

[Ian]

That's made Rosie Holt considerably funnier than she normally is.

[Spikey M]

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

[Ian]

Johnson wheeling out one of his classic "Is that the best lie you could come up with?" responses by the sounds of it.

[Kikó]

Arise sir Keith.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's had it, and he knows he's had it. Guess Sue Gray will have to apply the coup de grace.

[Ian]

Boris must have been gutted when Sue told him he'd attended.

[Manc]

It's alarming how many of these MPs can't string a sentence together.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you are in the brightest even 20% I can't see any reason you would become an MP, other than having a massive ego and god complex.

[Luke Emia]

If he had just admitted it six weeks ago. Said technically we were within the rules but realise how it looks and we fucked up this would be gone by now. But, like so many things he just tries to bluster it out and then only admits he's wrong when there is nowhere else to turn. Has nobody ever taught him to own your mistakes?

[Waffdon]

He’s untouchable to be fair so I don’t blame him. He’s not going anywhere.

[Don]

PMQs was fantastic. The odd brave tory to stand and interrupt the seething barrage of 'RESIGN, YOU DESPICABLE PIECE OF SHIT(?)' with 'Will the Prime Minister look to install microplastic filters on washing machines?' :rasta:

[randomlegend]

It's alarming how many of these MPs can't string a sentence together.

I've said it many times before, but most of the people I went to med school with who were privately educated at the kinds of places a lot of these MPs went to were absolute fucking morons. I wouldn't have trusted them with looking after my fish tank.

[Yevrah]

If you are in the brightest even 20% I can't see any reason you would become an MP, other than having a massive ego and god complex.

I think the brightest 20% see it that way as well, hence why they're all working in the private sector and earning a fuckton more than your average MP does.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's an interesting trade-off. MPs are paid £80k which puts them certainly in the top 10% of earners (according to this: https://www.statista.com/statistics/1224844/monthly-pay-of-employees-uk/) and the holiday seems pretty good, but you have fairly questionable job security and also have to put up with everyone hating you, as well as the general aggravation of having to manoeuvre past a load of despicable pricks if you ever want to get anything done. It's a hard pass from me.

[Pepe]

Don't most people in politics come from families already in politics?

[Waffdon]

Do half of them not just own other businesses anyway? They’re all born into money as well

[phonics]

The salary isn't an issue because you make your money being bent doing 'speaking engagements' for your local EvilCorp and people hating you doesn't matter because the only people you actually interact with are your mates who you give outrageous consultancy contracts to. Then to round it off, no-one expects you to actually do anything because they know you and everyone else in the building are an absolute waste of time. It's why the entire House of Parliament is just getting on telly and sucking up to your mate or slagging off the person who's not your mate for brownie points. Easiest job in the world.

[Pepe]

The job is to get elected, not what happens after.

[Waffdon]

1481392074784133123

:drool:

[Boydy]

1481741337951195136

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E6bCBsDXoAQA-bO.png

[Jimmy Floyd]

1481392074784133123

:drool:

The end of Scotland's independence dreams, if that holds

[Lewis]

Wor Boris was apparently at Chequers by then, so now he can just act all appalled and sack a few people. :happycry:

[Shindig]

This ends with Prime Minister Matt Hancock, doesn't it?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wor Boris was apparently at Chequers by then, so now he can just act all appalled and sack a few people. :happycry:

Hence this being the Telegraph's contribution to proceedings, the sly old dogs.

[Waffdon]

The end of Scotland's independence dreams, if that holds

The polls for independence are the highest they’ve been. Labour aren’t going to be doing anything in Scotland for a long time if again. They’re absolutely useless.

Boris staying in charge is much needed. Hopefully he rides this out.

[Lewis]

He could abolish the Scottish and Welsh assemblies and then ride off into retirement with his reputation restored.

[Waffdon]

England have taken enough battering from the Scots this past year he probably needs to for a bit of faith to be restored into the country.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We literally don't notice that Scotland is there.

[Waffdon]

You can’t keep our name out your mouth :drool:

[Giggles]

We literally don't notice that Scotland is there.

Yet you’re the one brought them up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-59998941

Former England footballer Gary Neville has joined the Labour Party and is not ruling out a venture into politics.

The ex-Manchester United captain was publicly welcomed to the party by shadow cabinet ministers Lucy Powell and Anneliese Dodds.

When asked if he would run for public office, the 46-year-old said: "I'm not saying never."

:drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

He'll back out when he finds out just how out of his depth he would be.

[Kikó]

Wonder if Peter Lim will finance him.

[Shindig]

"Gary, you can't take that giant tablet into the House of Commons. And take that headset off."

[Lewis]

He'll back out when he finds out just how out of his depth he would be.


Wonder if Peter Lim will finance him.

More likely once the Telegraph starts digging into all of that stuff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Operation Save Big Dog' has given me a Friday night lol.

[Ian]

'Operation Save Big Dog' has given me a Friday night lol.

It's very Matt Prior, isn't it.

Whoever came up with that idea wants sent to one of Patel's volcano gulags.

[Baz]

Yesterday I learned there’s some politics bloke called Luke Akehurst who seems like a right cunt. :(

[Spikey M]

:console: There'll be an exception to the rule one day, I'm sure.

[Baz]

:console: There'll be an exception to the rule one day, I'm sure.

My dads class.

[Spikey M]

We've seen him dancing in your videos.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cummings is burying him now. I've seen a theory that Dom did his famous press conference from a trestle table hastily set up in the Downing Street garden as a kind of long-distance fuck you to the future Boris, and/or a threat to the May 2020 Boris not to fuck with him. That's so brilliant I'm willing to believe it.

[Lofty]

1482684824880132100



perhaps the most striking and unsettling action is planned for this stage, which m&c saatchi states “will create a visual pr stunt.”

“a glass box is installed in a public space,” the presentation notes. “inside the box, there are two actors; one child and one adult. Both strangers. The child sits playing on their smart phone. At the other end of the box, we see an adult sat on a chair also on their phone, typing away.

“the adult occasionally looks over at the child, knowingly. Intermittently through the day, the ‘privacy glass’ will turn on and the previously transparent glass box will become opaque. Passers by won’t be able to see what’s happening inside. In other words, we create a sense of unease by hiding what the child and adult are doing online when their interaction can’t be seen.”

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are some fucking weird, stupid people in expensive suits.

[Kikó]

The Tories are dangerous. Get them out while you can.

[Ian]

At least the Lords seem to have got that Policing Bill in the bin, or some of it anyway.

[CJay]

Why are they so keen on reducing the security of messaging apps when they are all using the same apps to hide their shady dealings / backstabbing plans?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because you lose the ability to survey organised crime (cheaply). Lester Freamon would be stuck making furniture these days.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why are they trying to cover up for Boris with a load of progressively more insane rejected schemes to get rid of migrants? Is this what wavering voters want? So far today we've had:

- sonic pulses sent across the sea to try and make people in boats vomit
- the Royal Navy rejecting HMG's request for them to use warships to turn the dinghies around
- Ghana refuting 'Operation Dead Meat' in which refugees would supposedly be sent there

Heads have gone.

[Ian]

'Of course we're not "the baddies", what are you talking about, man? Now raise that periscope to tip the dinghy over immediately.'

[Disco]

How about a big bit of fishing line stretched across the French coast so they all trip over on the way to the boats.

[Shindig]

Have we mined the channel yet?

[Lewis]

The boats are merely a response to the incentives, i.e. that once you get here it is next to impossible to be thrown out, so until they start talking about amending/repealing a bunch of dubious human rights laws then you can only conclude that they don't actually want to stop them.

[Kikó]

"dubious human rights laws" :harold:

[Luke Emia]

Why does Boris need to warned that the party was against the rules? He made the rules. Surely every news outlet is going to go to town on that?

[Ben]

Incredibly, his PR team are worse than him. Clearly one of them thought him coming out of hiding today would have been a good move but they're just digging a deeper hole every time one of them opens their mouth. Raab basically said Boris should resign this morning. He danced around it on the morning round until GMB worded the question slightly different, flustered him and got him hook, line and sinker. Absolute shower the lot of them.

To answer the question: yes, Sky News have been putting the boots to Boris since the Rigby interview at 1 when he completely fluffed his lines. No doubt the Daily Mail will scream "what about Starmer?!" in the morning but I fully expect the others to crucify the silly cunt.

[niko_cee]

Maybe he should take 6 months off like Rigby and co did when they broke the rules.

[Ben]

He looks completely finished physically. He needs to go for his own health, not to mention he's just the fucking worst. PMQs tomorrow will be carnage.

[Ben]

1483550603997597702

Few journos reporting letters are in. VONC in the offing.

[Queenslander]

Why are they trying to cover up for Boris with a load of progressively more insane rejected schemes to get rid of migrants? Is this what wavering voters want? So far today we've had:

- sonic pulses sent across the sea to try and make people in boats vomit
- the Royal Navy rejecting HMG's request for them to use warships to turn the dinghies around
- Ghana refuting 'Operation Dead Meat' in which refugees would supposedly be sent there

Heads have gone.

Tony Abbott has had an influence I see.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Even with the letters, they'll need some big hitters to walk. Without Sunak or someone credible going, he might be able to hang on like May did, just via the power of incumbency.

[Shindig]

Yeah, Patel siding with him just told me how this was going. The job will do him before the house.

[Ben]

VONC -> wins vote -> more evidence released of him actually raving it up -> Tories stuck with toxic leader

:drool:

[Spikey M]

Dominic Raab has assured us that Boris Johnson will still be PM at the next Election, so sadly he is a dead man walking.

[Manc]

Sue Gray finalising her investigation today would be magical.

[Byron]

Even better if she interrupts the PMQ's to deliver it.

'BAH GAWD, THAT'S SUE GRAYS MUSIC!!!'

[Ben]

1483724083179237378

Polls are useless etc. but the Tories are taking a proper beating now. Partying before Phil's funeral is really cutting through.

[Jimmy Floyd]

An MP has defected Con to Lab, it's all happening.

[Ben]

PMQs is carnage.

"Bring your own boos" was a good one. :D

[Manc]

Bojo coming out fighting.

[Don]

Keir been up all night writing these zingers :rasta:

[Byron]

Bojo coming out fighting.

Yeah but it's all shouting. Nothing is landing.

You know it's over when the Leader of the Opposition is struggling to get his question across because he can't stop laughing at you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure about the wisdom of this defection. I think it might take some wind out of the rebels. Me and my brother against my cousin, me and my cousin against the world.

[Ian]

Yeah but it's all shouting. Nothing is landing.

You know it's over when the Leader of the Opposition is struggling to get his question across because he can't stop laughing at you.

Is he actually laughing at him?

[Ben]

I'm not sure about the wisdom of this defection. I think it might take some wind out of the rebels. Me and my brother against my cousin, me and my cousin against the world.

Self-preservation. Red Wall seat with a tiny majority. No way the Conservatives will hold that seat.

[Manc]

Davis firing shots. Woof. Superb entertainment all in all. Can't wait for the next episode.

[Waffdon]

He must stay. That was class from David David though

[Ben]

Operation Dog's Dinner.

MP defecting (potentially more to come).

His own party telling him to resign in the HoC.

Scenes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

David Davis has always been a pompous old cunt.

What's Carrie going to do now? I wouldn't fancy being shacked up to a deposed Boris Johnson with 2 of his probably unwanted kids.

[Manc]

The state of that defection. Prestwich is the Jewish capital of the north.

[Spikey M]

1483743495525478404?t=6zTkSFsaXOJy93U5_XbHsA&s=19

:harold:

[Ian]

David Davis has always been a pompous old cunt.

What's Carrie going to do now? I wouldn't fancy being shacked up to a deposed Boris Johnson with 2 of his probably unwanted kids.

I can't see that anything that comes now would actually be worse than allowing Boris Johnson to fuck you in the first place.

[Luke Emia]

1483743495525478404?t=6zTkSFsaXOJy93U5_XbHsA&s=19

:harold:

That would be beautiful if true.

[Lewis]

Surely the only complaint a Conservative MP could have about government inaction is that it wasn't doing anything conservative. In which case, why would you join the Labour Party? Unless a few parties have sent you into existential crisis, and then you would have to question his mental stability.

[Lofty]

He is just a parasite trying to save his own skin:

1483770724296888322

1483779373878632450

Bonus lol:

1483779556041535496

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't believe in judging anyone on voting record. Voting on legislation is a practical means of getting government business through, not an opinions shopping list attributable to the individual.

MPs only vote against their party in extremis, even though both parties must contain individuals who believe in a whole range of things.

[Spikey M]

Which is one of the many reasons why democracy is a complete myth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's not a myth, it's just we have a parliamentary system and that's how it works. The alternative is to have referendums on everything.

[Spikey M]

Or how it doesn’t work, rather.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It works, it's just that the outcomes aren't always ideal, but then they're probably preferable to the outcomes of a lot of systems used around the world.

[Boydy]

We can't judge these people we elect to make laws on what laws they vote to create?

You fucking what.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not if you're being realistic.

A better way to judge an MP would be what topics they choose to focus on / speak about in the Commons and what they say when they do. Obviously that requires effort and learning, so not something that most people want to do before composing their killer tweets.

[Lofty]

There's a difference between doing the party's bidding as a backbencher and firing off essays full of rhetoric about your opposing counterparts before giving each other soapy handjobs in congratulation weeks later. He could simply vote for government business without comment, plenty of them manage to be basically invisible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, in this case I think Ben is right, he thinks he's going to lose his seat so is taking the route he thinks will save it for him. Not sure if it'll work or not.

[Boydy]

Not if you're being realistic.

A better way to judge an MP would be what topics they choose to focus on / speak about in the Commons and what they say when they do. Obviously that requires effort and learning, so not something that most people want to do before composing their killer tweets.

You should obviously include what they speak on in the house as well but I think it's fairly safe to conclude that if they vote for horrible legislation, they're either horrible (possibly) or they're careerist wankers (probably).

[Disco]

They're all careerist wankers, you don't get there otherwise.

[Pepe]

Thing is, you are not getting far in politics without joining a party. You cannot complain about people voting in line with their party unless you vote for independents during elections. Otherwise, what do you expect?

[Lewis]

https://thebritainproject.co.uk/who-we-are

:harold:

Britain 2034: Sir Rory Stewart forms his third 'Serious Britain' coalition government with the support of the Grown-Up Party. No new houses have been built since 2025. The British death toll in Afghanistan stands at 27291.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do these people not know that centrist mulch only works if it's disguised as something else? Blairism only worked because it was branded as 'Labour' and represented red instead of blue and a change from the 1997 status quo. Same with Dave's wank, which had all the tree huggy stuff but was still ultimately the Tories. Who is going to be inspired by a load of wank without a vision?

They made massive strategic errors (not for the first time) due to being much too upset about Brexit. They should have waved Brexit through and stuck around in their parties to renew from the inside when the time was right.

[Lewis]

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age even a Conservative Party whip would casually tell somebody that they're being sacked because of their 'Muslimness'. Patel and Sunak might have done, but not some white bloke.

[Spikey M]

It does seem unlikely. They're thick, but they aren't that thick.

*they might actually be that thick.

[Ian]

Yeah, I thought when I saw it the story had a weird feel to it. As above I wouldn't 100% rule it out because, y'know, look who we're dealing with but while I could see it being the reason somebody got sacked it's not the reason you'd fucking give to somebody's face.

Also with the guy coming out and saying it was him she's talking about and she was advised to put it through as a formal complaint and didn't.

Something odd about the whole thing.

[randomlegend]

It does seem unlikely. They're thick, but they aren't that thick.

*they might actually be that thick.

They clearly are that thick.

[Manc]

But are they that thick?

[Spikey M]

*they might actually be that thick.

[niko_cee]

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age even a Conservative Party whip would casually tell somebody that they're being sacked because of their 'Muslimness'. Patel and Sunak might have done, but not some white bloke.

Bit like all these 'you won't get your school' blackmail allegations are now being backdated to a previous vote [on free school dinners] rather than as part of some plan to shore up support for the regime at present.

Also lol at this 'senior' Wragg fellow who looks like the archetypal smarmy Tory twat [as opposed to the Dickensian caricature of a Rees-Mogg figure] taking his concerns to the police. Good luck with that, but I guess it is meant to go nowhere.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rees-Mogg is a social climber. Barely posh at all.

[Manc]

Have you heard him speak?

[niko_cee]

Jim's talking through the looking glass posh, I would guess, where it's all eking out the lifespan of 60 year old Rollers because despite your vast land ownership you don't actually have any money.

[Spikey M]

Rees-Mogg is a social climber. Barely posh at all.

He's so posh his kids come out Victorian for fuck sake.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/09/03/08/32722694-8693031-Jacob_Rees_Mogg_s_children_in_descending_order_are _Peter_12_Mary-a-51_1599117800913.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

All affected. Real posh people wouldn't carry on like he does.

[Lewis]

His wife is very posh, and the weird kids are apparently her business.

[randomlegend]

Rees-Mogg is a social climber. Barely posh at all.

Wikipedia reckons his Dad is a baron, his family have a coat of arms and his sister is called Annunziata.

Aye, he's basically from a council estate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Annunziata is a weird Catholic name.

Let's put it this way, David Cameron is much posher than him.

[Shindig]

In 2006 Rees-Mogg became engaged to Helena Anne Beatrix Wentworth Fitzwilliam de Chair

Yeah, marry him for a couple of extra names.

[Boydy]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/22/jacob-rees-mogg-roots-conservative-mp

There was a decent article in the Guardian about some of his family background yesterday.

[Lewis]

He's a (very successful) nerd who likes olden days things and also happens to be a Catholic weirdo. That's about as much needs to be read into it.

[Luca]

Fuck me, nobody in Italy has been named Annunziata since my nan was born.

[Ian]

Boris Johnson has said he is taking the claims by Nusrat Ghani that she sacked as a minister because of concerns about her “Muslimness” extremely seriously. On a visit this morning he said:

We take these allegations extremely seriously, I took them very seriously when they were raised with me 18 months ago ... very glad there’s an investigation taking place now. I can’t say more, really, about it.

Sounds like you did, mate.

[Manc]

Geezer is drowning in investigations.

[Yevrah]

Here come the rozzers...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-60123850

[Jimmy Floyd]

Two possibilities:

a) Sue Gray has found something even worse than what's been disclosed and that has passed the threshold for the police to want to investigate
b) someone has politicked the police into investigating in the hope/expectation that such an investigation will delay Sue Gray's report

It's all very Thick of It, just need Julius Nicholson to stick his oar in.

[phonics]

It’s b.

[Lewis]

Somebody producing a cake during a working day isn't a 'party'. It appears to have been ILLEGAL, but that says more about the stupid shit rules than anything else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The stupid shit rules that he made. It's the same as the Cummings thing, except worse, because as a leader you have to take responsibility.

[Yevrah]

Yep. Unless you're just blind to all things Tory I genuinely can't see how anyone could come to the conclusion that all this shit is fine.

[Ben]

Two possibilities:

a) Sue Gray has found something even worse than what's been disclosed and that has passed the threshold for the police to want to investigate
b) someone has politicked the police into investigating in the hope/expectation that such an investigation will delay Sue Gray's report

It's all very Thick of It, just need Julius Nicholson to stick his oar in.

Definitely B. Kicks the Sue Gray can to a time where the nation is balls deep in something else (wars, fuel costs).

[Yevrah]

While I'd favour b as most likely, why would you touch that if you're the police? You're either going to be left with a whitewash or prosecuting the PM, not a great situation for them either way.

[Kikó]

Isn't it their job?

[Yevrah]

Isn't it their job?

It is indeed and also was a month or so ago when all this kicked off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wouldn't entirely rule out A, since the statement says they received evidence from the Cabinet Office (where Sue Gray is a permanent secretary).

[Ben]

While I'd favour b as most likely, why would you touch that if you're the police? You're either going to be left with a whitewash or prosecuting the PM, not a great situation for them either way.

The commissioner's job is a political appointment. They report to the Home Secretary. So if Patel especially is the one ordering an investigation, Dick might not have an option.

[Manc]

C final answer.

[Lewis]

Yep. Unless you're just blind to all things Tory I genuinely can't see how anyone could come to the conclusion that all this shit is fine.

It's not 'fine', but conflating it with actual parties is a bit daft. If this all drags into the summer then that would be much better timing for replacing him.

[Ben]

It's not 'fine', but conflating it with actual parties is a bit daft. If this all drags into the summer then that would be much better timing for replacing him.

That's absolutely their intention. They've got cost-of-living hikes to come in April, local election defeats in May, and now possibly a shitshow with Russia. It would benefit the Party to attach them all to Boris, throw him under the bus, then the new leader has a clean slate.

[randomlegend]

It's not 'fine', but conflating it with actual parties is a bit daft. If this all drags into the summer then that would be much better timing for replacing him.

Getting pissed up in a garden is a party.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's absolutely their intention. They've got cost-of-living hikes to come in April, local election defeats in May, and now possibly a shitshow with Russia. It would benefit the Party to attach them all to Boris, throw him under the bus, then the new leader has a clean slate.

They'll never get away with the government essentially not functioning until then.

I've never seen a politician exhibit the level of desperation that Boris is displaying here. It's not as if he's going to do anything with the extra time, or has any plans for his premiership whatsoever. There is no actual policy attached to 'Levelling Up', there is no other programme for government, nothing. He's just trying to cling on for history books reasons and to save Carrie's status or whatever.

It's also entirely self-inflicted by his repeated previous inability to make a decision.

[niko_cee]

Quite funny that the last two [surprise] majority Conservative PMs have basically blown themselves up within a short time of taking office.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Largely because they spend far too much time trying to manage a party which is full of absolute thicko dipshits, and far too little time having any ideas whatsoever about how to govern the country.

[Lewis]

That's absolutely their intention. They've got cost-of-living hikes to come in April, local election defeats in May, and now possibly a shitshow with Russia. It would benefit the Party to attach them all to Boris, throw him under the bus, then the new leader has a clean slate.

Plus any remaining pandemic aggro. All the media speculation about canning him now is either because they're too stupid to consider this, or they do know it and want the new guy shittered as well.

[randomlegend]

You two give them all far too much credit with all this cloak and daggers shit; they are just retards.

[Dave.]

The problem the Conservative Party have is that they don't have anyone with any credibility ready to replace Johnson. Sunak seems competent but is relatively new to politics, Jeremy Hunt has been involved in scandals in the past and probably has too close an association to Cameron and May, Raab is incompetent, Michael Gove is very divisive and I cannot imagine Liz Truss leading the country. Sajid Javid is probably the most competent of the frontrunners I reckon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Saj is the nicest guy, but lacks heft. It will be Sunak unless he fucks it up. He's at least bright enough to take the fight to what will be an at least somewhat resurgent Labour.

Jeremy Hunt is weird as fuck, so is Gove, Truss is a joke (I think the people talking her up must just fancy her), and Raab has looked for some time like he's being held there at gunpoint.

[randomlegend]

Truss is a joke (I think the people talking her up must just fancy her)

She looks like she has foetal alcohol syndrome.

https://i.imgur.com/suHLotG.png

[Jimmy Floyd]

Look, don't ask me of all people to explain that shit. People fancied Maggie Thatcher.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It looks like Cress has fucked them by saying she has no objection to the Sue Gray report being published now. lol.

[Mellberg]

I’d have took Thatcher straight up the wrong’un. She’d have loved it too, the po-faced slag.

[niko_cee]

The fact that Jacob Rees-Mogg appears to have become this government's Paul Boateng figure surely points to trolling on an epic scale by someone or other.

[phonics]

If the sexuality of my last few girlfriends is anything to go by, I could have made The Old Lady turn.

[Dave.]

Saj is the nicest guy, but lacks heft. It will be Sunak unless he fucks it up. He's at least bright enough to take the fight to what will be an at least somewhat resurgent Labour.

Jeremy Hunt is weird as fuck, so is Gove, Truss is a joke (I think the people talking her up must just fancy her), and Raab has looked for some time like he's being held there at gunpoint.

Agreed on Gove, to the extent that I doubt that he is actually human. Raab is a weird one, he has a seriously impressive CV yet comes across as one of the dumbest people in politics.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's my MP, he's a twat. I think he gets stage fright. Probably a good lawyer or whatever.

I haven't yet forgiven him for one day deciding to abseil off the top of my local church, in perhaps the most bizarre Partridge/Rebecca Murray stunt I've seen attempted in real life.

[Waffdon]

Sunak is far too small to ever be a PM. Boris would have a better chance turning things around than him.

[Ben]

Stalin was the same height as Sunak.

[Spikey M]

Everyone was a manlet back then. The Lancaster Bomber was built for a maximum height of 5' 8" or something similarly dwarfy.

[Boydy]

Why do tall folk seem to care so much about height?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jacob Rees-Mogg now saying we have 'effectively a presidential system', in order to argue that the PM cannot be changed except via general election. I guess he will have to be the one to inform Her Maj that she is now effectively not the head of state.

[Ian]

We had a guy in my last job who was about 6'4 and was totally one of those who took pride in him having accidentally been born as a tall person. Fortunately he had freakishly small hands for a man of his size and was incapable of taking a joke about it so whenever he mentioned it you'd just lol at his hands and shut him down.

[Don]

Spikey reaching like a proper dwarf himself :happycry:

[Ian]

Jacob Rees-Mogg now saying we have 'effectively a presidential system', in order to argue that the PM cannot be changed except via general election. I guess he will have to be the one to inform Her Maj that she is now effectively not the head of state.

The vast number of nonsense reasons he shouldn't go coming out is impressive.

Poor Boris, victim of a cake-ambushing that he is. :(

[niko_cee]

Thought Rees-Mogg's "you might say ambuscade" opening gambit on Newsnight last night was beyond parody.

[Lofty]

Why do tall folk seem to care so much about height?

Why do strangers feel the need to come up to me in the street and tell me I'm tall?

[Waffdon]

Stalin was the same height as Sunak.

Sunak is no more than 5ft4. I’m not having the internet tell me otherwise

[Jimmy Floyd]

The vast number of nonsense reasons he shouldn't go coming out is impressive.

Poor Boris, victim of a cake-ambushing that he is. :(

The problem is, he will genuinely believe he's done nothing wrong. I know these Etonians. The lack of self-awareness is not just a trait, it's the core of what they are.

[Spikey M]

Spikey reaching like a proper dwarf himself :happycry:

Sorry lad, couldn't hear you up here.

[Ian]

Among all the 'lol i wish i could get ambushed with cake!' stuff (which I do find relatable) this is the best response I've seen so far:

1486068763858554885

[Spikey M]

:D

[randomlegend]

Why do strangers feel the need to come up to me in the street and tell me I'm tall?

Only barely stopped myself doing this the other day. Was in the supermarket and this woman came round the corner with her pram. Few seconds later her partner followed and fucking hell he was the tallest person I've ever seen in real life by far. He was a veritable giant. The words "fuck me you're tall" almost tumbled out of my mouth but I caught myself just in time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

While we wait for Sue Gray's report, enter stage left another report which confirms the PM ordered dog man and his dogs to go on the plane back from Kabul ahead of others.

[Ben]

Dogs > Afghans in the eyes of his voters, so that’s not at all damning for him.

[Manc]

Where do Afghan Hounds fall in the pecking order?

[Waffdon]

1486312561096249346

[Spikey M]

That was so bad I've forgiven Boris.

[Shindig]

Liz Truss having to defend her use of a government plane to Australia's is a bit annoying. There's some shit a foreign secretary might be looking over that could be a little compromised on a passenger flight. You're probably still working on stuff before touchdown.

[Lewis]

Not to mention you're the Foreign Secretary visiting a friend and ally on important business. Do other serious countries lose it over private/first class travel?

[Spikey M]

I remember the green mob losing their shit over China attending COP26 via Skype, so presumably they value face to face physical meetings over reducing airtravel.

[Queenslander]

It sounds like you blokes will have your very own military base down here sooner rather than later. :cool:

It will bring us closer to continuous war games I have planned just off the coast of Wellington. Fucking bully me about the Bledisloe for 20 years you cunts...

[Baz]

We had a guy in my last job who was about 6'4 and was totally one of those who took pride in him having accidentally been born as a tall person. Fortunately he had freakishly small hands for a man of his size and was incapable of taking a joke about it so whenever he mentioned it you'd just lol at his hands and shut him down.https://www.bassresource.com/bass-fishing-forums/uploads/monthly_2018_08/4F6B6A4A-AB28-4ACD-BB8D-CC55E1E58ED7.gif.1cb132a60a744f2c57734a7563371909. gif

[Spikey M]

1486973986961567745?t=TU7XUhGgcOutNc9l-tHNdg&s=19

Lol

[Ben]

This was always going to be the outcome. Kicks the can down the road until either the country doesn't care anymore or ammunition to oust Boris in the summer after their dismal performance in the May local elections.

Pathetic.

[Ian]

They don't even hide it. Absolutely shameless.

[Shindig]

Hopefully they don't do a good job.

Blank, blank and blank all arrived. About 59 other blanks where present. One blank asked, "How's the wife, Boris." to which blank responded, "She's around here somewhere. Probably off saving dogs."

It's at this point blank was ambushed by a cake. We do not know of a motive at this time.

[Yevrah]

They were taking the piss before, but this is a whole new level.

[phonics]

The police backing up power in a completely bent way? Never.

[Yevrah]

Obviously I meant in relation to the COVID party shit.

[Spikey M]

I'm just enjoying all this democracy we definitely have.

[Giggles]

You’re all the same as us (we probably get it from you in fairness). Grumble down the pub and then bend over.

The whole place should have been in flames about 3 days ago until he was lynched in the street.

[Spikey M]

It's a very British trait. My Mother In Law once spent the evening giving her husband the cold shoulder because he embarrassed her by complaining that his food was cold. Where as she, as a proud Brit, said it was lovely, ate 2 more mouthfuls and hid it under a napkin so the waitress wouldn't know she hadn't eaten it. :happycry:

[Lewis]

All the people who wouldn't vote Conservative if their lives depended on it think Tom Tugendhat would be a 'good choice', so that's him and any potential re-invasion of Afghanistan sunk.

[Ben]

As one of "those people" I massively disagree he is a good choice for any position of power.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My dad loves Tom Tugendhat, to the point that he texts me things like 'Tugendhat v interesting in the Times today' when we normally only ever text each other to arrange dinner meet times and the like.

He could probably only like him more if he'd played for Chelsea in the 70s or been a member of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

[Giggles]

Lynyrd Skynyrd :cool:

Tip of the cap to Jimmys old man.

[Spikey M]

I have no idea who Tom Tug-end-hat is, but that's the best and worst name ever.

[Lewis]

He's the Rory Stewart joke candidate this time round.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If the Tory headbangers were a bunch of nouveau entryists like the Labour lot were, he could win in the same way that Sensible Moderate Sir Keir Starmer (and David Cameron) won. But, after Brexit, they form the establishment of the party, so the winning candidate will have to promise a tax break on brightly coloured brogues and then try to slip cyanide into their gin later on.

[Shindig]

Or Tony Blair's children.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Boris losing his party here.

[Ian]

But he loves parties. :(

[Spikey M]

Fabricants "hair" somehow manages to get more ridiculous every time I see him.

[Lofty]

May absolutely loving life recently.

[Spikey M]

I keep going to say "she was a proper prime minister" but then I remember that she's responsible for Universal Credit.

[Boydy]

And the Windrush Scandal. You can basically be as much of a shit as you want in office and peoole will lick your arse afterwards.

See also: Tony Blair.

[Lewis]

Theresa May is useless and backbench scold is about her level, but she paid proper deference to the Norms and didn't try to change anything which stupid people mistake for Competency/Seriousness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And the Windrush Scandal. You can basically be as much of a shit as you want in office and peoole will lick your arse afterwards.

See also: Tony Blair.

Does anyone lick TB's arse?

GB, maybe.

[Shindig]

Yeah, if anything, I'm sick of post-PM Blair offering his opinions on anything. I'd have him back in a heartbeat but that's more an indication of how fucking shit politicians have been since. His long stint at the top might've contributed to that.

[Boydy]

Does anyone lick TB's arse?

GB, maybe.

Most of the media, all of the Labour right/centrists.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh yeah, I guess the 'sensible, mature politics' lot do. The population at large fucking hates him from all possible angles.

May's worst legacy is deliberately underfunding the police as Home Sec to the point that it barely functions anymore except for the most serious crimes.

[Lofty]

I totally missed this Savile thing.

[Lewis]

I'm all for it. If you can blame Boris Johnson for creating a 'culture' where civil servants and other dickheads drink at their desks and throw parties without him, and maybe you can, then you can blame Keir 'Sir Keir Starmer' Starmer for his organisation fucking something up (and if his was a political role he would have carried the can like Amber Rudd did).

[randomlegend]

If you can blame Boris Johnson for creating a 'culture' where civil servants and other dickheads drink at their desks and throw parties without him.

Parties in his fucking house, you absolute mess.

[Shindig]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it testify in court, Lewis.

[Lewis]

He was at Chequers when they had the Prince Philip funeral week ones, which was why the whinging immediately pivoted to covering the 'culture' as well.

[randomlegend]

Yeah I'm sure he had no idea they were there :harold:

[Ian]

I totally missed this Savile thing.

Yeah, it's okay to call somebody a nonce-enabler but heaven forfend you point out that a liar who everybody knows has lied has lied.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The parties don't even matter. It's the lying to Parliament that matters. The parties are like when they got Al Capone for fiddling tax. An unmourned loss.

[randomlegend]

The parties don't even matter. It's the lying to Parliament that matters. The parties are like when they got Al Capone for fiddling tax. An unmourned loss.

They do matter.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They don't - or not much, at any rate. If he'd fessed up to a few parties ages ago, most of which he wasn't at, it would have passed by easily. It's the fact that he lied about them, constantly, which then shone a light on the fact that he lies about everything else as well. That's how scandals develop. No one's bringing down a government over some dickheads having a glass of pro secco 18 months ago. They're bringing down a government because the person leading it has been shown to be unfit to hold the office that he does.

It just so happens that parties were the way in. It's like a really shit, very British Watergate.

[Lewis]

He should go because he's shit and has long-since served his purpose. The parties are Not a Good Look, but I can do without the scumbag Labour Party bealing about 'smears' and Theresa May crying about misleading parliament and trashing its conventions when he is only Prime Minister because she spent a full year doing so.

[randomlegend]

They don't. If he'd fessed up to a few parties ages ago, most of which he wasn't at, it would have passed by easily. It's the fact that he lied about them, constantly, which then shone a light on the fact that he lies about everything else as well. That's how scandals develop. No one's bringing down a government over some dickheads having a glass of pro secco 18 months ago. They're bringing down a government because the person leading it has been shown to be unfit to hold the office that he does.

It just so happens that parties were the way in. It's like a really shit, very British Watergate.

Nah, I don't think so. People really suffered in lock-down, I don't think that learning cunts like Boris weren't following the rules they imposed on everyone else is going to be easily forgiven. It's not about "parties", it's about the complete disdain they have for the people they govern.

[randomlegend]

If a load of ITU staff had arranged drinks on hospital grounds after yet another horrendous shift, they'd have been struck off (and they were under a great deal more stress than anyone in the government). It's ridiculous we don't hold the people who govern us and set these rules to - at the bare minimum - that same standard.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nah, I don't think so. People really suffered in lock-down, I don't think that learning cunts like Boris weren't following the rules they imposed on everyone else is going to be easily forgiven. It's not about "parties", it's about the complete disdain they have for the people they govern.

Again, true but more than survivable I think if they gripped the situation with some remorse early on. Instead they kept squirming to get out of it and every move they tried made it much worse and showed them to be what they are, which is, as you say, basically contemptible.

Boris's whole political career, possibly whole life, has been cosplaying some imaginary vision he has of Churchill/a British statesman of days gone by, whilst lacking the basic moral fibre to be the real thing. With money, Etonian connections and charm, you can get away with having it all your own way - until you can't. It's very Falstaffian, and now we've finally got to 'I know thee not, old man'. Maybe he can do that comparison when he gets around to that Shakespeare book he was skiving off Cobra meetings to write in Feb 2020.

[Lewis]

'Can you imagine the NHS covering up staff malpractice like this?'

[randomlegend]

'Can you imagine the NHS covering up staff malpractice like this?'

Having a party after work isn't "malpractice".

[Manc]

Boris signed until 2029. Here we go!

[randomlegend]

It is really weird how you're SO desperate to downplay and deflect on their behalf. You come across like you care more about the Conservative party than your own family.
Lewis obviously.

[Don]

Think of your family.