UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[Henry]

The idea that Ireland ought to leave with the UK isn't actually a bad one, seeing as we do far more trade with the UK than EU. But suggesting it in current circumstances is unspeakably arrogant.

[Giggles]

No we're not you, unless you think I'm Northern Irish for some reason. But trust me, we have become very very different from you in a relatively short space of time, we'll we'll torch the place before ever joining what you lot still believe is an empire.

[John]

Not even Tommy Robinson's least educated mate still believes we have an empire.

[Spikey M]

This is some top quality seething Giggs.

[Giggles]

The fact it'll never happen always stops it getting anywhere near a seethe. I do find the suggestion offensive though and an just glad decisions aren't made by faux Irish like Henry.

[niko_cee]

I am no more a citizen of the United Kingdom than you. That does not mean that the people of these little islands, and your bigger island don't share significant economic, historical and cultural links which simply don't exist between the Republic and its 25 matey nations in the vestigial EU.

Its arrogant, but Ireland would probably be better served to use this as a pretext to bail (although being in the Eurozone negates that possibility) before it starts having to pay in a lot more post 2021.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The worst thing the EU ever did was letting all the poor countries in. In fact, de Gaulle was probably onto something, they shouldn't have let us in either. The EEC is a very specific mechanism to prevent war between France and Germany which had raged ceaselessly for centuries before it. It serves no other real purpose.

[Henry]

The worst thing the EU ever did was letting all the poor countries in. In fact, de Gaulle was probably onto something, they shouldn't have let us in either. The EEC is a very specific mechanism to prevent war between France and Germany which had raged ceaselessly for centuries before it. It serves no other real purpose.

There's no point in it without "the poor countries". All of the surplus economies need a market for their goods.

[Lewis]

How our idiots have fell for all of this Irish border stuff is maddening (not to mention proof that we need to leave to blow all of our institutions up), and why I seem to recall saying that Theresa May should have been chucked as soon as she went for their 'backstop'. Which part of the Good Friday Agreement committed us to being in a customs union with Ireland for all time? I've read it, and the only border stuff I can find is the Irish accepting it, so then you're left with the pre-European Union Common Travel Area and what? Anyone who doesn't think there are 'checks' at the border as it currently stands really ought to be coining it in running agricultural diesel between the countries, but for some reason they're on Twitter all day talking shit.

[Giggles]

How our idiots have fell for all of this Irish border stuff is maddening (not to mention proof that we need to leave to blow all of our institutions up), and why I seem to recall saying that Theresa May should have been chucked as soon as she went for their 'backstop'. Which part of the Good Friday Agreement committed us to being in a customs union with Ireland for all time? I've read it, and the only border stuff I can find is the Irish accepting it, so then you're left with the pre-European Union Common Travel Area and what? Anyone who doesn't think there are 'checks' at the border as it currently stands really ought to be coining it in running agricultural diesel between the countries, but for some reason they're on Twitter all day talking shit.

:D 'coining' it by running diesel across the border is absolutely massive.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I tried to do a deal with some tosser in (London)derry the other day who tried to fob me off to send his refurb engine to some shack in Donegal so he could then run it over the border himself, thus avoiding VAT. I told him I regretted to inform him that his company is registered in the UK and so he can take the goods into there from Neptune if he likes, but he's still paying tax on them.

[Lewis]

That's what I mean. The border is already there on tax, regulations, immigration status... And yet somehow people have convinced themselves that stopping a few more lorries for a poke around is going to bring the IRA back (an idea that, as well as being stupid in practice, also serves to hand them a veto over our constitutional settlement - something I don't think made the final text of the Good Friday Agreement). This 'frictionless trade' meme has done it. We can't have a Canada-style free trade agreement because it 'can't guarantee frictionless trade'. Then we can't have border controls either you fucking dickhead.

[phonics]

Hard Brexit Tories will use a Commons vote to try to overturn Home Office plans to ban high-powered military-grade rifles in a show of political defiance aimed at Theresa May (https://www.theguardian.com/politics/theresamay).


Police (https://www.theguardian.com/uk/police) want the .50 calibre or higher weapons – which can immobilise a vehicle or truck from a mile away – banned because they fear a terrorist who got hold of one would be impossible to defend against.


But 35 Tory MPs – many of whom are understood to be members of the European Research Group (ERG) – have decided to back an amendment to block the proposed ban.

:cab:

Legalising high caliber weapons to own the libs.

[niko_cee]

In what sense are they not banned at the moment?

:cab:

[phonics]

Also Nick Clegg has just been hired by Facebook to run their global communications.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The ERG are fucking morons and worse, they are TERRIBLE at realpolitik. Leave only squeaked the referendum because against all the odds, Deadly Dom managed to sideline all those cunts.

[Disco]

They're obviously not aware of what you have to go through to not just acquire but then to keep one of those weapons. It would be exponentially easier to bring weapons into the country than it would be to get your hands on one legally let alone finding one to steal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looks like Theresa has bossed her way to Soft Brexit Paradise. Watch the pound jump about three dollars on Monday morning.

Can't wait for everyone to seethe.

[Lewis]

You do wonder whether she is low-level mental in the Gordon Brown sense. Unless she knows loads of things we don't, her approach to this for at least a year has defied all explanation.

[phonics]

I see Banks is back in the news.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DrJJPXjXcAADzHP.jpg:large

[niko_cee]

Phats and Small.

:cool:

I'm surprised DJs Luck and McNeat didn't have a similar position.

[Spikey M]

Jezza Heywood has died.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46089019

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm a deal fan. Come on the deal. My main motivation for being a deal fan is that it seems the quickest way to everyone shutting up.

That stance has only been emboldened by Tony Blair coming out of his cave to call it shit.

[niko_cee]

This making it through the cabinet, and then through parliament, and then through the EU and every bog-brained national parliament in Europe seems just about the least likely possibly outcome.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If this doesn't go through it will be No Deal, which the illuminati won't allow to happen, in which case we'll Remain. So there's fun for all the family in any outcome.

[Giggles]

Can't the Orange just scupper this by collapsing your government?

[niko_cee]

It's definitely going to get better before it gets worse, or the other way around, depending on your perspective.

[niko_cee]

Can't the Orange just scupper this by collapsing your government?

It needs to get to a vote first, and even then it's likely the government are going to need support from outside their coalition to win it, so the DUP's position is somewhat diminished I'd say.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, but without the Conservative ERG mob the coalition isn't winning anything without cross-bench support.

[Giggles]

Yeah, but without the Conservative ERG mob the coalition isn't winning anything without cross-bench support.

Aye I'd read your post wrong there. So is it all back to square one then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

For every whinnying far right traitor that votes against the government, they need an equally bonkers Labour person to vote for them.

[Spikey M]

I'm a deal fan. Come on the deal. My main motivation for being a deal fan is that it seems the quickest way to everyone shutting up.

That stance has only been emboldened by Tony Blair coming out of his cave to call it shit.

I embraced this stance about 7 days after the vote, by refusing to give a fuck what happens.

[Giggles]

It's approved then.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now just needs to get past the Bastards.

[Lewis]

Which it won't unless Labour support it, which they won't (and would be stupid to). The interesting thing 'going forward' is that anyone still in the Cabinet has torched their leadership credentials with the party membership, so I'm not sure what is going through their minds throwing themselves behind it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In that case we'll be remaining. Well done, shitheads.

[Lewis]

We'll get out eventually. If the Conservative Party has to die as part of that process then good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they sink this on any kind of formal level, then No Deal becomes the only option and somebody will shoot that out of the sky (with a general election and/or another referendum). We're not going to leave on no deal terms, it would get to military coup stage.

We should really be doing Norway but sadly they appointed David Davis as secretary of this and he is literally a buffoon, added to which May has the political vision of a fig roll, so we've got ourselves into a right corner.

[Lewis]

How wrong was I supporting her in 2016? Jesus. If she gets it through then she's the worst Prime Minister in modern history, and if she doesn't, and gets punted out, then she's merely the second worst. On a related note, Michael Gove proving himself to be a spineless little wank through all of this adds definite weight to the theory that his leadership tilt was not actually concerned with winning.

We'll tumble out and cobble some shit together.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's pretty clear to me that his leadership bid was just suicide bombing Boris Johnson, either because he knew Boris was a twat, or more likely because his wife wanted to salvage dinner at the Camerons'.

The only way we're cobbling shit together is if the Tories the Tories the Tories stay in power, which they won't if no deal panic occurs. We're lucky Grey Guevara is in charge of Labour or else they'd have torpedoed it already.

[Shindig]

Thing is, nobody's waiting in the wings. Like, at all. Nobody fancies a shot at governing.

[Lewis]

I saw her speech in the gym with subtitles, but watching it now she looks and sounds shot to bits. She probably wants to be booted out.

[niko_cee]

This whole business is actually a brilliant conceit to leave the EU. Unfortunately everyone's too thick to realise it. Leaving was always going to happen (eventually), but probably further down the line than this (at least in the technocratic mind), but at the same time the longer something is left, the harder it is to do - so some weird botch where you have to extract yourself over the course of a couple of decades probably works quite well within the federal EU framework. We were never signing up to the Euro and or the Federal Superstate.

[Magic]

Raab gone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If this deal doesn't go through, we're remaining.

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/XvgaVgi.jpg

Nice of the Conservatives to show how utterly incompetent they are when asked to do literally anything that isn't squeezing poor people for their remaining pennies though. Eight years of Coalition/Conservative Government and what is there to show for it?

[niko_cee]

Record 'employment' and 'stabilised' public finances? Is what they'd probably say anyway

And this specific incompetence is probably an act of great self-sacrifice, albeit self-inflicted and utterly idiotic. They should probably just make David Cameron commit seppuku on national tv and strike the last 3 years from the record.

[phonics]

Doesn't literally every non shit country have record employment atm? The US are down to record lows and look at the competent people in charge there.

[Yevrah]

If this deal doesn't go through, we're remaining.

What is the actual deal on the table though?

I've read this https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46212838 and I don't understand how it can be referred to as a deal when almost nothing seems to have been agreed.

[Magic]

Another one gone. :harold:

[phonics]

It's amazing how much they've cocked this up considering how easy everyone said it would be.

[Magic]

Dominic 'I didn't know we were an island' Raab is preparing a leadership bid?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The problem is that the quality of leadership is so low in both parties that it has sludged into a nothingy mess.

The other problem is that 40% of the country are vexed one way and 40% are vexed the other. There is no way out of that without people having a massive cry.

[Spikey M]

What we really need is a massive pop-concert off the back of a terrorist attack. Tezza should go full false flag on the situation.

[Magic]

What we really need is a massive pop-concert off the back of a terrorist attack. Tezza should go full false flag on the situation.

I actually got a boner at all those people on Rememberence Sunday at the Cenotaph and how awesome it would be if a huge 44tonner plouged it's way through.

[phonics]

I saw something about Chris Grayling resigning being the final blow. In what world is losing Chris Grayling a blow? The man is a total idiot.

[Lewis]

He's Theresa May's total idiot though.

[phonics]

He's Theresa May's total idiot though.

I saw that he was her Campaign Manager, I'm shocked the election went the way it did.

[Lewis]

I was following this on that Guardian Live page at work. They barely had enough space to put their DARK MONEY begging appeals in.

[phonics]

I find them useless at breaking news.

[Lewis]

Back to Michael Gove, him steaming over there to re-negotiate it single-handedly is definitely something we need to see before not getting anything.

[Pleb]

In before she calls a snap election.

[Lewis]

This press conference is demented. Even Gordon Brown chucked shit around and chewed his nails.

[phonics]

May should call Mogg a bigot.

[Lewis]

1063131751793463298

The quality of these makes me think it's the actual bloke.

[mugbull]

I know I’m late to this and not as informed as you guys are, but I just want to point out how hilarious it is that this clusterfuck has come as a result of calling a popular referendum on leaving the European Union. How absurd the concept of a “referendum” is. What a retarded process.

[niko_cee]

Particularly when one of the options is absolutely not available.

[Lewis]

As somebody old enough to remember when the European Union was just a trading arrangement, and get over it Nigel it barely has any say over our laws, I have enjoyed watching the NARRATIVE shifting towards this being the best it gets on account of the impossibility of leaving something so deeply embedded into every aspect of our political and economic systems.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I saw something on twitter earlier that said that rather than triggering A50 we should have clung on for years and tried to rot them from the inside before actually leaving. Probably something in that.

[Yevrah]

Are we not leaving now? Was I right again?*

*I take no pleasure in this as I haven't made the fortune from it that I should have done.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

The Hotel California situation then.

[ItalAussie]

One of the problems is that there's now an entrenched political class, who simply treat the whole process as a game where the object is to "win", where winning is purely being the person driving the "winning" party. Politicians have little thought to any ramifications beyond "winning" the game of politics.

[Boydy]

There's one person who very conspicuously is not like that and the media revile him.

[Henry]

Fucking Tory shambles. The Brexit secretary rejected his own deal. :D

Why doesn't May trigger a confidence vote herself? It's about the only way she's going to regain any authority.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

It's hardly his deal though is it?

[Spikey M]

It's not really a deal full stop. It's like going on a diet without changing what you eat.

[Yevrah]

It's killing me that it's being referred to as a deal. But I guess that sums this shambles up.

[phonics]

Don't worry. We're saved. Amber Rudds back.

[Lewis]

There's one person who very conspicuously is not like that and the media revile him.

He's been a politician for forty-five years, and now lies about everything he ever did to help him win.

[phonics]

And his Brexit position is the definition of a wanker politician.

[phonics]

And his Brexit position is the definition of a wanker politician.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DsWgpe8WoAABlfk.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

His Brexit 'position' is deliberate and makes total sense. No one is interested in the details of Brexit, but he needs both the in and out camps to believe in the vaguest terms that he's on their side, and currently he hasn't properly alienated either of them. Job done.

[phonics]

I think he's alienated most of the remain lot.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, but what's their alternative? The Lib Dems? That Gina woman?

Thinking some sort of progressive alliance is going to overturn the dyed in the wool established order would be mental.

[phonics]

Yeah, but what's their alternative? The Lib Dems? That Gina woman?

Thinking some sort of progressive alliance is going to overturn the dyed in the wool established order would be mental.

I think they just won't vote instead. He needed a record youth turnout to not win already. I guess you can presume there'll be a similar enthusiasm gap for the Conservatives but most of their voters are old retirees who get excited about the chance to leave the house.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Once there is a leftish Labour leader who isn't electoral poison to about 65% of the country, they are going to landslide it. Literally all it needs is someone with a bit of charisma whose politics aren't rooted in the Cold War (Jeremy 0/2 on these counts).

People have had enough of the Tories and their sort of freemason lizard approach to public services.

[phonics]

Got to give it to the ERG, pulling off the slowest, most incompetent and what looks like ultimatley unsuccessful coup is a very good metaphor for the Brexit process.

[Raoul Duke]

Mogg getting made to look like a total cunt almost makes this whole shitshow worth it

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the first time those mongs have been politically relevant for at least 23 years, and even then it turns out that they aren't.

Tim Shipman's 'All Out War' has a great (neutral) account of how Deadly Dom just about managed to shut all those tossers out of the Leave campaign before they torpedoed it with this 'Global Britain' nonsense.

[Lewis]

They're still right about this (as they have historically been about most things), so it's more a reflection of the sheer amount of fannies in the party than them.

[phonics]

1065203558063190016

At least we're concentrating on the important things.

[Spikey M]

Aren't you meant to be ridding the world of Aids?

[phonics]

No they don't let graphic designers do peer reviewed medical trials weirdly. There is a vaccine about to go to trial though. (https://www.hivplusmag.com/treatment/2018/6/19/hiv-vaccine-begin-human-trials-2019?fbclid=IwAR1t1D2KnJaJ5qNk9YKJtV0yRW1TL3E3VwKT Tepu3u75UDoXrtxGfG4Opn8)

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're still right about this (as they have historically been about most things), so it's more a reflection of the sheer amount of fannies in the party than them.

The Norman Tebbit lot may have been right about most things, but there's a definite hint of senator-you're-no-Norman-Tebbit about the current incarnation. Davis is a ridiculous clown, Mogg has been found out, and the rest of them are just morons.

[Lewis]

True. Speaking of which, I was working in London today, and finished early, so I went for a mooch about. I saw the STOP BREXIT idiots, and also the UKIP umbrella idiot who holds one up where the BBC rolling cameras point. I said 'Good on you mate', and within about forty seconds he was telling me to join the party and have a look at Sargon of Akkad on YouTube. I won't be doing either of those thanks, but nice talking to you.

[Alex]

1065203558063190016

At least we're concentrating on the important things.

Fucking hell. :D / :facepalm:

[Kikó]

True. Speaking of which, I was working in London today, and finished early, so I went for a mooch about. I saw the STOP BREXIT idiots, and also the UKIP umbrella idiot who holds one up where the BBC rolling cameras point. I said 'Good on you mate', and within about forty seconds he was telling me to join the party and have a look at Sargon of Akkad on YouTube. I won't be doing either of those thanks, but nice talking to you.

No informal beer? Disappointed.

[Lewis]

I was led to believe I was going to be there all day and dying on my arse. Maybe next time.

[ItalAussie]

So from distance, the whole debacle that is how this has been handled looks like it could (should?) be doing irreparable damage to the Tory "brand". Of course, the opposition is a waste of space, so it's not doing any damage now. But I can't imagine they're popular with anyone on either side at the moment.

But I've learned not to trust my gut on British politics. Do you think the Tories are actually going to come out of this relatively unscathed?

[Jimmy Floyd]

No, they'll soon by hated by everyone, whether for Brexit (on both extremes of the debate) or for the better reason of their vampiric approach to public services.

The referendum has brought into focus the real divide in Britain, which is not Tory/Labour or left/right, but haves and have nots. Currently all the parties represent various aspects of the haves, while the have nots remain voiceless aside from their remarkable referendum result, which the haves are still working hard to overturn.

When one of the parties gains a presentable have not leader, they will sweep any election. We are not like America, we lack their desire for hero figures and wouldn't buy a ridiculous strongman like Trump (I imagine Australia is also like this).

You'd think Labour would be best placed to do this, but they have failed miserably so far, mistakenly believing that 20th century ideological divides have any relevance in the minds of 21st century electorates.

[Lewis]

Your interpretation is the same as the paid-up fannies who want to avoid admitting that we sensible (read: not American) British have an American-style cultural divide in our politics. The vote and the subsequent election had 'haves' and 'have nots' voting all over the place. What cut down the middle of it all was whether or not they were a ponce.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's what I mean by haves and have nots. It's not really about money, more satisfaction (of any kind) with the globalising status quo. And they do vote for both parties, which is why I'm saying the old assumptions about left/right and all that bullshit from the Cold War is now completely irrelevant.

We absolutely have an American-style cultural divide, but instead of guns, God and blow-dried hairdos, it manifests itself around the use of chorizo in everyday cuisine, and similarly meaningless but for some reason powerful norms. We were pointing all this out years ago.

[Lewis]

Okay, there you go. I might e-mail Ed West and see if he can remember the column he predicted it in years ago, because searching isn't throwing much up.

[Shindig]

May's honest answer should've been, "Well, I can't say no because we haven't even left yet and it'll take years do figure out whether it was better or not. Get fucked, Michael."

[Lewis]

If she really thinks having a televised 'debate' with Jeremy Corbyn is the best way to sell this agreement than the demented not dishonest theory is confirmed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I guess their calculation, driven by recent leader poll numbers, is that they think there will have to be an election so they'll try and make beardy weardy look like a twat (which, on this topic, he is. I mean, 'Jobs First Brexit'. Come on.)

[phonics]

I think she thought that Jeremy would run away from it knowing he has absolutely no Brexit position, forgetting that she's an absolute wollop with less personality than one of those baby dolls who's defining attribute is their ability to piss themselves.

[Spikey M]

After 'winning' the last election by avoiding the media, this doesn't exactly seem prudent.

[phonics]

Igor pushed this meme into my timeline. I don't get it.

https://i.imgur.com/eKi3KoA.png

[Spikey M]

Nope.

[phonics]

Maybe Rudd is a synonym for a lie?

[niko_cee]

I can't believe someone wants to indelibly lay claim to that.

[Spikey M]

Maybe Rudd is a synonym for a lie?

Must be. But red and green lie is new to me as well.

[Henry]

I think she thought that Jeremy would run away from it knowing he has absolutely no Brexit position

Perhaps unintentionally, that may end up being very smart. Like how he and 30 others conveniently didn't show up for a vote last week that could have defeated some of the finance stuff.
No need to interfere or take the blame while your opponent has organised a circular firing squad for themselves.

There is of course, no chance of a substantially different deal. Nor was there ever. The idiocy of the UKIP-Tory right is on show for all to see.

[niko_cee]

In fairness to the Tory right, I'm not sure they really want 'a deal' - it's the other side of the divide that thinks a better one is out there somewhere..

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's quite funny (if you find the burning wreckage of human civilisation funny, at least) that there are two completely distinct groups of unrealistic, wishful-thinking whingeing pricks trying to bring it down from opposite sides of the argument.

There just isn't going to be a #peoplesvote and nor is there going to be some magical Super-Canada. We will end up in Norway territory and do fine there.

[Lewis]

We ought to be sinking the French/Spanish fishing fleets in the lead up to NO DEAL like Mers-el-Kebir.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My general weather vane for Westminster politics is to read the twitter account of Tom Brake MP and then expect to happen whatever is furthest away from what he wants to happen, so No Deal it is unfortunately.

[Shindig]

As long as we're out of the union, we can probably do what we please. Just play the long game with them.

[phonics]

There appears to be a Boris documentary coming out from clips I've seen on Twitter. I know the 'It's just like The Thick Of It' is played out as a joke but it's fucking terrifying how close to the bone they were.

[John]

Is that the stuff with him bumbling through some guff about the thousand year alliance between England and Portugal?

[phonics]

Yes and another clip where his PR person was telling him to not say 'Let them eat cake' to the French or something.

[niko_cee]

Are you talking about the Inside the Foreign Office thing that's been on the beeb?

[Lewis]

Anyone who annoys the Foreign Office can't be all bad. They're a bunch of twats.

[Lewis]

This Brexit debate is going to be atrocious.

'Jeremy Corbyn, the Prime Minister says that you don't have a Brexit plan. Is that true?'
'No, we have a plan. I'll tell you what else we have a plan for...'
*twenty minutes on the homeless*

I remember the useless twats around Gordon Brown wanting a 'masochism strategy' in 2010, with which they figured that if he went around letting people shout at him enough times then the Great British Public would eventually feel sorry. for him Then he called that old woman out. Anyway, what is she thinking?

[phonics]

This Brexit debate is going to be atrocious.

'Jeremy Corbyn, the Prime Minister says that you don't have a Brexit plan. Is that true?'
'No, we have a plan. I'll tell you what else we have a plan for...'
*twenty minutes on the homeless*

I remember the useless twats around Gordon Brown wanting a 'masochism strategy' in 2010, with which they figured that if he went around letting people shout at him enough times then the Great British Public would eventually feel sorry. for him Then he called that old woman out. Anyway, what is she thinking?

That her comms director worked for the BBC so he'll be able to negotiate a format that gives her an easy ride and makes Corbyn look shit enough to hold off a general election.

[Lewis]

No such format exists.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've swung my view in the last 48 hours, I now think we're somehow going to remain. You don't defeat the British bureaucracy.

No deal vs Remain second ref would be like the first one, but on hard drugs.

[Disco]

The meltdown when whatever flavour of Leave makes it onto the ballot wins again will be :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

No deal beating Remain would be the absolute peak of political events, while Remain winning the same vote (as it would, without Dom) would also cause fucking chaos.

Bring it on, I say.

[Yevrah]

May’s going for the debate as she literally has nothing left to lose.

I came to the conclusion a while ago that I’ve no idea why she’s still bothering, but from a belligerence perspective, fair play to her. She has it in spades.

[Lewis]

I've swung my view in the last 48 hours, I now think we're somehow going to remain. You don't defeat the British bureaucracy.

No deal vs Remain second ref would be like the first one, but on hard drugs.

That comparison on Twitter (from whoever it was) that compared it to asking cardinals to negotiate the Reformation was pretty perfect. If we had just Ian Smithed them on day one it would have all settled down by now.

[phonics]

Channel 4 are up to tricks by trying to hold an 'Alternative Debate' between.... Tony Blair v Boris Johnson.

Fuck it, let's go so full Brexit the economy is so ruined Channel 4 can no longer stay in business. Back to 3 channels.

[igor_balis]

Igor pushed this meme into my timeline. I don't get it.

https://i.imgur.com/eKi3KoA.png

:D

I still can't get over how shit it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Second referendum ahoy. Fucking bring it on. I'm getting a run of half and half scarves made.

I also keep getting 'It's a no deal Brexit (no deal Brexit)' stuck in my head to the tune of Walking In Memphis, so that says something about me.

[Shindig]

Do do do do do,
This is Remain-ia.

[phonics]

Second referendum ahoy. Fucking bring it on. I'm getting a run of half and half scarves made.

I think there is some weird ironic money to be made here but what would the colours be. If UKIP weren't so shit you could go Gold/Purple vs Union Jack so the remainers (the ones with the cash) could pretend to be patriotic.

[Magic]

The meltdown when whatever flavour of Leave makes it onto the ballot wins again will be :drool:

Winning a no deal vote. :drool:

[Lewis]

lol not only at UKIP killing itself, but it barely getting any attention.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't normally advocate murder, but if someone stuck a couple of rounds in Tommy Robinson I wouldn't be sad for very long.

[Spikey M]

And his idiot supporters.

The OUTRAGE over him going to prison was top quality. It is somehow demonstrable of the Islamification of Great Britain that he wasn't allowed to ruin a trial and let a load of noncey rapists walk free.

[phonics]

I like the fact that not one but two separately negotiated Brexit debates have been cancelled after break down in talks once both arrived at a failure to agree to the terms of debate. It’s a level of irony not previously measured.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As someone who would strongly consider voting for them if the alternative was No Deal, I really am astounded by how the Remain people on Twitter carry on (I imagine some subset of the same people would run the campaign in a second referendum). Do they realise that if they carry on preaching from the ramparts they will lose again and lose bigger?

There needs to be a total ban on anyone who lives in Zones 1-3, or anyone who feels strongly about the EU, being part of the campaign.

[Boydy]

The fbpe crowd are the fucking worst.

[Spikey M]

If I had to vote again, it would probably be for Remain (again), but meeting a Phonics - or one of his equivalents on the Leave side - on the way to vote, would probably be enough to change my mind out of pure spite.

[Lewis]

I would vote leave again regardless of circumstances, and BOYCOTT it if the choice was between remain and the bollocks government deal. I work with two remain voters (probably three, but the other one keeps quiet about it), with one of them being a vocal 'remoaner', and I think they think I also voted remain because I join in when they moan about the government. When I come in dressed like Big Daddy on NO DEAL day it will be some reveal.

[Boydy]

I wouldn't really consider phonics an fbper. It's the people who think there was nothing wrong before the brexit vote and just want to go back to how things were before the referendum. I've seen some talk about wanting to wind the clock back to the 2012 olympics when everything was great apparently, as if there hadn't been riots just a year before.

[Giggles]

What's this FPB?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wouldn't really consider phonics an fbper. It's the people who think there was nothing wrong before the brexit vote and just want to go back to how things were before the referendum. I've seen some talk about wanting to wind the clock back to the 2012 olympics when everything was great apparently, as if there hadn't been riots just a year before.

I find it really weird how none of them get it, as if 52% of the country voting for something was some kind of terrible accident. The confused arguments as well - we shouldn't have had a referendum in the first place, because people are stupid and uninformed, but now we need another one as soon as possible, because people are... ?

The combination of cultural snobbery from the Blair era and the post-crash Tory governments of corporate penny-pinching have completely fucked large swathes of the country and absolutely no one on the Remain side is speaking to them at the moment. They're just calling them stupid and backwards - again. I've long said Labour front bench's Brexit 'position' of ambivalence is far better than anything that the commentariat pontificates they should be doing. You can tell Keir Starmer (a London wanker if ever there was one) is bursting to go all FBPE on us and Corbyn and crew are doing brilliantly to pin him back.

[niko_cee]

What's this FPB?

Google tells me it's some dreadful twitter thing somewhat akin to a circle-jerk.

[Spikey M]

That sounds like the most Phonics thing there has ever been.

[Jimmy Floyd]

FBPE = Follow Back Pro EU, which is a mark that the most ultra remainers put on their twitter accounts to signify to each other that they are remainers and can thus safely converse.

[phonics]

I spend my time getting shouted at by actual nazis. My follower count is proof that I am not part of any follow back group.

[Shindig]

Actual Nazis?

[Spikey M]

He means people that voted Leave.

[Lewis]

That is some bizness haircut on Boris Johnson. It reminds me of when Nernando Norres got a buzzcut trying not to be shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surely they aren't going to put him in place if she gets the boot? I can't think of bigger electoral suicide, he's broken.

[Lewis]

He will have some sort of role with whoever does win. Maybe Chancellor, selling the rationing and unburied bodies to the Great British Public.

[igor_balis]

I find it really weird how none of them get it, as if 52% of the country voting for something was some kind of terrible accident. The confused arguments as well - we shouldn't have had a referendum in the first place, because people are stupid and uninformed, but now we need another one as soon as possible, because people are... ?

The combination of cultural snobbery from the Blair era and the post-crash Tory governments of corporate penny-pinching have completely fucked large swathes of the country and absolutely no one on the Remain side is speaking to them at the moment. They're just calling them stupid and backwards - again. I've long said Labour front bench's Brexit 'position' of ambivalence is far better than anything that the commentariat pontificates they should be doing. You can tell Keir Starmer (a London wanker if ever there was one) is bursting to go all FBPE on us and Corbyn and crew are doing brilliantly to pin him back.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/23/trump-boris-johnson-rightwing-populists

i thought this was pretty good, and sort of relevant

[Giggles]

How did he become so pivotal and important anyway? One minute he was a comedy buffoon mayor and a blink later he's the main man in the government.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/23/trump-boris-johnson-rightwing-populists

i thought this was pretty good, and sort of relevant

It is good.

I think we're in for 20+ years of a dominant left, for what it's worth. Boomers are pulling up the drawbridge as far as assets are concerned and that will end the relevance of centre-right conservative politics.

[Pepe]

Anything that compares Trump to anyone else is immediately shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You really can't make this people's vote stuff up. It was bad enough when I read the BBC summary:


Protesters calling for another referendum to decide the issue were joined by politicians from across the political spectrum at a rally on Sunday, including Tory peer Lord Heseltine, Green MP Caroline Lucas, and Labour MP Rosena Allin-Khan.

But then I saw a couple of the pictures. Charles Dance!

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/6CE8/production/_104708872_charlesdance_reuters.jpg


Ms Lucas said the message to Mrs May was: "We don't want your vision of a mean-minded little Britain, with our borders closed and our horizons narrowed."

Hooray! Prosecco all round.

[Spikey M]

British, no ENGLISH, Sparkling wine, you cunt.

[Lewis]

After all this time I still don't understand this stuff. I get the federalists. The United Europe people. There is a logic to it. But that sort of meaningless bollocks. Is it really as simple as the Deadly Dom focus groups suggested, that they simply project their notions of goodness onto Europe? If so then that really is its greatest success.

[Spikey M]

Isn't that what religions do? Anything good is because of their god, anything bad is nothing to do with him. Politics is basically religion anyway these days.

[Lewis]

It also serves to reinforce the idea that these twats see the European Union as a bulwark against the electorate if we need it to stave off closed borders and mean-mindedness. It was odd how nobody seemed to attack that one during the actual vote, since the entire left-wing remain campaign was based on the premise that, without benevolent European regulations, we couldn't be trusted not to back the Conservative Party abolishing weekends.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://twitter.com/GHNeale/status/1071808320149876736

God forbid I have to start posting up Team America clips as relevant. Someone needs to bomb RADA before it's too late.

[phonics]

1072091424131346433

lol

[phonics]

Brexit vote has been pulled.

What a shambles.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Full steam ahead to the second referendum. This will be magnificent, unparallelled bloodsport. The yanks can keep their attack ads.

[phonics]

Full steam ahead to the second referendum. This will be magnificent, unparallelled bloodsport. The yanks can keep their attack ads.

With the current lack of modernity in the voting act, don't worry they'll be plenty of yank attack ads being paid for with dark money.

[randomlegend]

Full steam ahead to the second referendum. This will be magnificent, unparallelled bloodsport. The yanks can keep their attack ads.

You're so odd.

[phonics]

P.S. Crossrail will cost an extra couple of billion and will be delayed by another couple of years. It's like governing isn't actually about governing but just a 'how long can you publically trip over your own dick before feeling shame' endurance race.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're so odd.

Oh are you back to making random personal comments about me for absolutely no reason? That's cool.

[Yevrah]

Why has she pulled it?

Obviously it was going to lose, but presumably she knew that in the first place.

[phonics]

In more satire is dead news it seems the vote may not be pulled because the House has to pull it not the Government so instead we will have a vote blocking the vote from not taking place and then a vote against the bill that can't be pulled. Hope that clears things up.

[phonics]

The UK government spent almost £100,000 on Facebook adverts promoting Theresa May’s Brexit deal in the lead-up to the Commons vote being pulled, figures released by the social media firm show. As the Press Association reports, the company’s ad library report showed between Sunday December 2 and Saturday December 8 the UK government spent £96,684 on 11 promotions on Facebook. They included videos on “what the Brexit (https://www.theguardian.com/politics/eu-referendum) Deal means for you - explained in 60 seconds” and others focusing on immigration and jobs. Three videos, intending to explain the deal in terms of free trade, the economy and “controlling our borders”, cost between £10,000 and £50,000 each to promote, reaching between 500,000 and one million Facebook users apiece, the Press Association reports.

Money well spent.

[randomlegend]

Oh are you back to making random personal comments about me for absolutely no reason? That's cool.

You're very sensitive aren't you.

[Pepe]

:handbags:

[Manc]

Fuck brexit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're very sensitive aren't you.

Yes. Being sensitive is a good quality. If you want to reply to a post of mine then make sure it's not in the guise of an utter cunt. At least when mokbull does it he has something to say.

[Henry]

Read this morning that if the British had had negotiators of this calibre in 1921 there wouldn't be an Irish border in the first place and we'd probably have gotten Wales as well.

Whoever said that May is trying to take things down to the wire so that there is no time and it's literally this deal or no deal, is correct. At least if the vote had gone ahead, someone might have done something.

[Lewis]

I went to London today (extremely short notice, so soz 'Daws') and decided to check in on the rival demonstrations. In what is surely the most perfect visual representation of the entire thing, I saw a hard-faced remain woman try to take a sign off a Leave Means Leave bloke, only him to stand his ground shouting 'I AM ON ENGLISH COMMON LAND!'

[Lewis]

Are people actually blaming the government for Crossrail going over? It's a major infrastructure project. They all go over their budgets/schedules.

[Pepe]

Europe would have built it under budget/schedule.

[Pepe]

Not Europe. Corbyn. Or both.

[Lewis]

I think the last major national project to come in on time and in budget was the Resolution-class submarines, and that was largely in spite of the government.

[randomlegend]

Yes. Being sensitive is a good quality. If you want to reply to a post of mine then make sure it's not in the guise of an utter cunt. At least when mokbull does it he has something to say.

Christ.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can go around just calling me things and I'm not allowed to react because, erm, it's the internet and we all have to pretend to be hard men? I'm not a hard man, and you can fuck off.

[Disco]

:D

[Lewis]

We could easily cover the server costs streaming that fight. Sandman coming back to big it up like that True Geordie idiot. :drool:

[randomlegend]

How long do I have to keep this I before you tell your mum on me?

[Spikey M]

#TeamJim

[John]

How long do I have to keep this I before you tell your mum on me?

That's an odd one. You're the biggest fanny on the board.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How long do I have to keep this I before you tell your mum on me?

You are welcome to fuck off any time you like. I made a harmless post, you made an unnecessary personal comment and I am, and wait until I use this magic phrase, CALLING YOU OUT on it. This isn't Reddit, or Twitter, you don't get to be an anonymous snarky piece of shit, you are accountable for comments you make to people.

[Lewis]

http://i67.tinypic.com/lxt9z.jpg

[randomlegend]

You are welcome to fuck off any time you like. I made a harmless post, you made an unnecessary personal comment and I am, and wait until I use this magic phrase, CALLING YOU OUT on it. This isn't Reddit, or Twitter, you don't get to be an anonymous snarky piece of shit, you are accountable for comments you make to people.

Well firstly I'm not 'accountable'. There's nothing you can do that has any impact on me whatsoever. Your CALLING ME OUT is meaningless, despite how important you might think your ALLCAPS make you look.

Secondly, wanking yourself into a frenzy over the "blood-sport!!!" of a load of bellends like Boris Johnson calling each other a SHAMBLES is fucking odd. Getting this upset over someone saying it is tragically thin-skinned.

I think you're probably not actually a particularly nice person. A lot of your views come across very unempathetic to the point of having quite a nasty undertone. This kind of narcissistic response to someone PERSONALLY ATTACKING you sits well with that also. Half the time when I pulled you up in the football threads I pointing out something you'd said which was literally just factually incorrect and even that you couldn't handle.

Edit: I suppose if you could affect my life by complaining to the GMC about me but I imagine you'll need something better than 'called me odd on the internet's.

[randomlegend]

That's an odd one. You're the biggest fanny on the board.

I wondered how long it'd be before you tagged in.

For all your billy-big- ballsing around you're one of the least able to take a joke people I've ever come across.

[Lewis]

Do a list.

[Giggles]

FINALLY this thread got intetesting.

https://media.giphy.com/media/XQq8UMo254P16/giphy.gif

[Shindig]

Excellent. Jimmy's trigger word was 'odd'. He'll be stealing a tractor and taking it back to Seoul in no time.

[phonics]

Pards comes back in the board kicks into life. I fucking love this place.

[Pepe]

http://i67.tinypic.com/lxt9z.jpg

:lol:

[Spikey M]

Fucking hell.

[Pepe]

When do we get to call METLDOWN? Or will someone be offended?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well firstly I'm not 'accountable'. There's nothing you can do that has any impact on me whatsoever. Your CALLING ME OUT is meaningless, despite how important you might think your ALLCAPS make you look.

Secondly, wanking yourself into a frenzy over the "blood-sport!!!" of a load of bellends like Boris Johnson calling each other a SHAMBLES is fucking odd. Getting this upset over someone saying it is tragically thin-skinned.

I think you're probably not actually a particularly nice person. A lot of your views come across very unempathetic to the point of having quite a nasty undertone. This kind of narcissistic response to someone PERSONALLY ATTACKING you sits well with that also. Half the time when I pulled you up in the football threads I pointing out something you'd said which was literally just factually incorrect and even that you couldn't handle.

Edit: I suppose if you could affect my life by complaining to the GMC about me but I imagine you'll need something better than 'called me odd on the internet's.

I don't want to affect your life. I wish you all the luck with your life, and am pretty sure I have actually done so here on numerous occasions (because that's what nasty people do to cover their tracks). I want you to act with civility in the course of using this online community, which we both use a lot and presumably enjoy. Being insulted from left field makes it less enjoyable. You are welcome to disagree with things I post, or call my posts wrong (most of them are bollocks, this place is fun, not a competition) but if you make, yes, PERSONAL comments then I am more than entitled to stand my ground and tell you to fuck off. That doesn't make me 'sensitive' or mean I'm going to cry to my mum. That just means I am objecting to something you have chosen to post. I made that objection in very calm terms in my first reply to you, but you couldn't resist a bit more sarcasm every time. That is the girly pissiness, not anything I have done.

If you think people should just be able to take pointless insults like potato bullets then what sort of backwards, 19th century attitude is that? You should care about the interactions you have with people, and take responsibility for them. It's not narcissistic to have the capacity to be annoyed or upset by things people say to you, or to challenge their comments. The fact that we are on the internet is really neither here nor there. And if you think all that is narcissistic or weak or cissy, then you have a really knuckle-dragging view on how people, especially men, should interact. You go through all my 100,000 posts right now and find an example of where I've gone in at the man in the way that you did without engaging on the content. You won't find one, because there isn't one, because that's not how I do things.

I'm not going to deliver a withering 'you are a nasty person' load of nonsense, either, because 1) I don't believe it, and 2) unlike you I do not want to antagonise anyone or pick fights, I just want to have fun joking and debating and reading/writing posts, doing what we all come on here to do.

[phonics]

When do we get to call METLDOWN? Or will someone be offended?

This is definitely Jimmy's first meltdown. I've called him far worse and not even got half the reaction.

[Giggles]

This is definitely Jimmy's first meltdown. I've called him far worse and not even got half the reaction.

Meltdowns are unwarranted. Jim is just bossing it.



.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is definitely Jimmy's first meltdown. I've called him far worse and not even got half the reaction.

I know you don't mean it though. Despite all the hilarity, you're a cuddly sort. He means it.

[Boydy]

You alright, Jim, mate?

[John]

This is definitely Jimmy's first meltdown. I've called him far worse and not even got half the reaction.

If this is a meltdown Floyd used to melt down thrice a week, or however often Pongo was posting.

[phonics]

I know you don't mean it though. Despite all the hilarity, you're a cuddly sort. He means it.

I mean it, I just know it's not your fault you're always wrong. ;)

We were part of the same system and you just happened to see the everyday doctor/lawyer side of it whereas I saw the arms dealer / land owner side.

[phonics]

If this is a meltdown Floyd used to melt down thrice a week, or however often Pongo was posting.

Pongo cut people to their core, that's not a meltdown, that's just you screaming as you're holding your own short intestine.

edit: PS. John, get owned. For all the claims of being the flamethrower of truth this is the most accurate post in here.


I wondered how long it'd be before you tagged in.

For all your billy-big- ballsing around you're one of the least able to take a joke people I've ever come across.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I mean it, I just know it's not your fault you're always wrong. ;)

We were part of the same system and you just happened to see the everyday doctor/lawyer side of it whereas I saw the arms dealer / land owner side.

'Tru dat', as they say.

[randomlegend]

I called you odd, mate. If you can't take a look around at what you're doing and realise that might be a fair comment then fucking hell, IDK. I didn't realise "odd" could cause such devastation - I'm well aware I'm odd as fuck, something which has been pointed out many times. Your reaction was mental.

The other stuff is how you come across to me on here. Maybe I'm wrong. Who cares.

Boyd got less of a rise out of me calling me a paedophile than this.

[Lewis]

You.

[Spikey M]

I called you odd, mate. If you can't take a look around at what you're doing and realise that might be a fair comment then fucking hell, IDK. I didn't realise "odd" could cause such devastation - I'm well aware I'm odd as fuck, something which has been pointed out many times. Your reaction was mental.

The other stuff is how you come across to me on here. Maybe I'm wrong. Who cares.

Boyd got less of a rise out of me calling me a paedophile than this.

You did shag an underage girl.

Probably.

[Boydy]

I called you odd, mate. If you can't take a look around at what you're doing and realise that might be a fair comment then fucking hell, IDK. I didn't realise "odd" could cause such devastation - I'm well aware I'm odd as fuck, something which has been pointed out many times. Your reaction was mental.

The other stuff is how you come across to me on here. Maybe I'm wrong. Who cares.

Boyd got less of a rise out of me calling me a paedophile than this.
When/why did I do that? :D

[phonics]

This is the biggest fallout on the board since Taz left because everyone made fun of his name and I think the original incident of this one might be even more minor.

https://i.imgur.com/1IDmQpN.jpg

[randomlegend]

You did shag an underage girl.

Probably.

I didn't actually.

[randomlegend]

You.

If I cared 1/10th that much I'd have lobbed myself off a bridge about 10 years ago.

[Lewis]

Too weak to climb over the side. Especially with your oxygen tank.

[Manc]

Real men. Real feelings.

[Byron]

This is the biggest fallout on the board since Taz left because everyone made fun of his name and I think the original incident of this one might be even more minor.


I wish Don would come back.

[John]

This is the biggest fallout on the board since Taz left because everyone made fun of his name and I think the original incident of this one might be even more minor.

Taz was already teetering by then. He never recovered from going absolutely tonto when I told him to cut out the gay bashing.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

https://twitter.com/HannahB4LiviMP/status/1072174345701740551

:D

A fucking MP.

[John]

1072216832529129475

[Pepe]

:lol:

[Spikey M]

#Ragin

[Kikó]

Is that Jim's hand?

[Shindig]

But .... nothing has changed and, even if it were to change, nobody could agree terms. Cancer is tied.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do you think I could pull off a ring like that?

[Pepe]

Is that Jim's hand?

:D

[phonics]

1072511929770479617

lol

[Spoonsky]

I'm not a hard man, and you can fuck off.

I want this on a t-shirt.

[mugbull]

I heard audio from May's self-immolation in front of Parliament and i have to ask, do MPs always do those huh-hah monosyllabic ejaculations during their sessions? It sounded like what i imagine it sounded like in the Magna Carta days.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, mostly. It's embarrassing.

Going further down the you couldn't script it rabbit hole today. May to face a vote of no confidence from her party, which she might win, and so be 'saved', until she then immediately faces a no confidence vote in parliament, which the Tory rebels see her lose.

Then, god only knows. My long terms thoughts on this, and I don't know whether I've put them on here, is that, somehow, Jeremy Hunt is going to be PM, despite being (ostensibly) hated by everyone. He'll probably ride in as some sort of Tory People's Vote White Knight and end up the next Tony Blair.

[Kikó]

I'd rather have Gove...

[randomlegend]

I'd rather have Mussolini.

[Queenslander]

You can have Scott Morrison?

[ItalAussie]

You can have Scott Morrison?

You have to imagine he'll have a much emptier schedule if they're willing to wait a few months.

[phonics]

They're having a vote on something that they already voted on 2 years ago? Disgrace to democracy.

[niko_cee]

So, if May wins this vote of no confidence, but then loses one in the House of Commons, triggering a general election, do the Conservative Party's rules mandate she be the leader for that election (as she can't be challenged again for a year)? I know, realistically, you'd think she'd throw the towel in before it came to that, but that really doesn't seem to be her M.O. at all. That would probably be a suitably farcical next step.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She'd have to resign. That said, they then wouldn't have a leader, so who knows.

[Baz]

I’ll do it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Baz Akehurst, Tory leader. There's a six-part BBC Three sitcom.

[Lewis]

If the form book is anything to go off these hints at standing down before the next election aren't worth the steam off your piss, because why would you, so the useless bastards might as well chuck her now if they are only really worried about that.

[Shindig]

Baz Akehurst, Tory leader. There's a six-part BBC Three sitcom.

"PMQs was delayed by four hours as the Prime Minister, Home Secretary and Foreign Secretary (lol, he's not foreign) were trying to get their network game in."

[phonics]

He'd have to resign after being caught skimming 0.08% off the treasury for every tax bill he passed.