UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[Ian]

The Labour fan (that's the best way of describing him, he's one of these people who treats the party they vote for like the football team they support) just said he's "quietly confident" of a Labour win.

He's kidding himself.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A Labour win is impossible. A hung parliament and Jeremy somehow cobbling together every non-Tory behind him (though good luck to him getting the 10 DUP onside) is possible, maybe the fanbase are classing this as a win.

Would last about ten minutes and then we could have another election in February.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have been predicting a 30 - 40 Conservative majority since the start of the campaigns and have seen nothing so far that will change my mind.

Personally I have it less than that. 10/15

If it gets to 40 then Corbz has had a nightmare.

[Henry]

Now they're telling reporters to fuck off. The mask slipped quite significantly over the past couple of days.

Is the pressure getting to the scum?

[Smjffy]

Weren't the Conservatives meant to get a majority in the last election then ended up weaker?

I think huge swathes of people underestimate what goes on further than their area which is why Brexit seemed to be a surprise to many yet even before the referendum I barely heard anyone talking about remaining and that's when I was between Flintshire, Wales and Richmond, London. It's the same now, I don't hear many saying they will vote for conservatives having just moved back from Abingdon which is a Lib Dem seat (I think).

It all confuses me but I still see Corbyn being the PM in the next few days but if not this election then the next and I think that'll be all she wrote for the conservatives as a party, I reckon.

[Dave.]

Weren't the Conservatives meant to get a majority in the last election then ended up weaker?

I think huge swathes of people underestimate what goes on further than their area which is why Brexit seemed to be a surprise to many yet even before the referendum I barely heard anyone talking about remaining and that's when I was between Flintshire, Wales and Richmond, London. It's the same now, I don't hear many saying they will vote for conservatives having just moved back from Abingdon which is a Lib Dem seat (I think).

It all confuses me but I still see Corbyn being the PM in the next few days but if not this election then the next and I think that'll be all she wrote for the conservatives as a party, I reckon.

Someone else might be able to confirm but I don't think the Conservative lead was this big at this stage of the 2017 campaign.

[Henry]

It all confuses me but I still see Corbyn being the PM in the next few days but if not this election then the next and I think that'll be all she wrote for the conservatives as a party, I reckon.

There's no way Corbyn will stay another 5 years if he doesn't win.

Correct on the Tories though. Everyone should listen to JOB's interview with Hestletine. They're going nowhere - not even the party of business any more, they're the party of hedge funds and billionaires.

[niko_cee]

Assuming they don't win this one then Labour really should be breezing the next election on simple length of being in opposition basis alone, assuming they don't replace their incumbent idiot in chief with an equally feckless one. Also assuming the next election isn't in a few months.

Jeremy clinging on is going to be funny though.

[Spikey M]

I think a Hung Parliament with numbers that would only 'work' if Labour and the Conservatives work together would give me the most lol for my buck.

[Lewis]

Brexit aside, the current Conservative Party is basically what Michael Heseltine wanted for it, so ignore that sad bastard.

[Waffdon]

Labours odds for a minority keep shortening. Imagine. Just imagine.

[Waffdon]

Laura K casually admitting electoral fraud is quite funny. Get her in the sea.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Trying to work out how many seats Labour would need to have a decent shot at governing. 326 is a majority, 325 without the speaker, and if Sinn Fein get the expected six that goes down to 322. The SNP should win around 40 seats and they will definitely prop up Labour (although I'm not really sure why, strategy-wise). That would take Jezza's target down to around 282.

The Lib Dems are more complicated as they have gone in hard on the leftists, but given a People's Vote (groan) they would probably fall into line. I have them at around 16-18 seats. Plaid and the Greens should be steady at four between them, and the various Northern Irish patsies contribute a couple more. I'll give out one bonus seat in case something random happens like Gauke or Grieve, or that indie in Cornwall winning.

As such I think the minimum he will need to govern will be around 260 Labour seats. To have any degree of comfort he will need 270+, really. Keeping all that lot above in line will be a bloody nightmare. Given his IRA history I cannot see any scenario where the expected 9-10 DUP would back him, so he would be up against both numbers and an opposition Tory party that is larger than his own. I'd kind of quite like to see it happen just for the lols.

[Giggles]

https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2019/12/11/johnson-leads-latest-poll-after-ploughing-jcb-into-hospital-full-of-sick-children/

[Henry]

Trying to work out how many seats Labour would need to have a decent shot at governing. 326 is a majority, 325 without the speaker, and if Sinn Fein get the expected six that goes down to 322. The SNP should win around 40 seats and they will definitely prop up Labour (although I'm not really sure why, strategy-wise). That would take Jezza's target down to around 282.

The Lib Dems are more complicated as they have gone in hard on the leftists, but given a People's Vote (groan) they would probably fall into line. I have them at around 16-18 seats. Plaid and the Greens should be steady at four between them, and the various Northern Irish patsies contribute a couple more. I'll give out one bonus seat in case something random happens like Gauke or Grieve, or that indie in Cornwall winning.

As such I think the minimum he will need to govern will be around 260 Labour seats. To have any degree of comfort he will need 270+, really. Keeping all that lot above in line will be a bloody nightmare. Given his IRA history I cannot see any scenario where the expected 9-10 DUP would back him, so he would be up against both numbers and an opposition Tory party that is larger than his own. I'd kind of quite like to see it happen just for the lols.

Probably just has to hang together for a few weeks to cobble something together and have another referendum to stay in the EU, though. I can't see the LibDems allowing Corbyn to govern beyond that. Although seeing that their arrangement would be time-limited and the SNP require him to stick around for a bit longer, there's a problem with that too.

Not looking that good, then. I might have to content myself with seeing Dominic Raab or IDS reduced to tears.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who will win Sylvia's seat?

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-52488074/activist-gina-miller-meets-troll-who-sent-her-abusive-messages-what-happened-next

Lads, we found Harold.

[Lewis]

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/tom-watson-peerage-bercow-corbyn-karie-murphy-lords-reject-a9540941.html

lmao

[phonics]

Why are peerages some form of weird bribe used on people?

Do you get cash from it in some way?

[Shindig]

Cash for peerage was going on under Blair, wasn't it?

[Lewis]

You get attendance allowances, but the relevance plus access probably pays more.

[Smjffy]

She's every bit as impartial as the BBC itself.

I watched the QT U30's yesterday and the best thing to come from it is making it a criminal offence for MP's who spout bollocks and deceive. It won't happen because there will be none left but the good ones are few and far between. No one believes a word that any of them say and that's dangerous.

It will get worse and people will become further disillusioned. I feel that we'll be rioting in a few years and the army will be forced to patrol the streets. I'm convinced of it, in fact.


We don't do that kind of civil unrest, Smiffy.


I said at the time that leaving the EU was only half the issue, the bigger issues were closer to home with our own shitty government(s). If I knew then what I know now, that we still hadn't left and we'd have gone through Cameron, May and now Johnson whilst Jeremy fucking Corbyn does the square root of fuck and that's without mentioning the absolute drivel we've been subjected to in the media, PMQ, Question Time etc. I won't pretend to know much about all this political business but I know enough to know that whatever happens, leave or remain, this country is well and truly fucked. There is nothing great about Great Britain, it is a sad pathetic country in reality.

Aged well.

[Yevrah]

Good decision there. That entire episode was disgraceful from Watson. You can't go round claiming paedophiles are wide-rife, while simultaneously withholding the evidence.

[Shindig]

Aged well.

Erm ... what?

Also, this. (https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/dominic-cummings-second-trip-made-up-a4455501.html)

[Smjffy]

Erm ... what?

Also, this. (https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/dominic-cummings-second-trip-made-up-a4455501.html)

Also. This?

1267024408234938370

As far as Cumming goes I am not that bothered that he may or may not have broken the rules but I am bothered about the fallout and how it's led to rushing things. Sacked, resigned, I'd have taken a suspension just so the focus could have gone back what actually mattered but since then it just seems to have highlighted how suspect the cabinet inparticular is, how useless BJ is and how powerful someone who's unelected by anyone of us actually is.

[Queenslander]

Boris with his big balls.


Boris Johnson says 3m people in Hong Kong will get path to British citizenship


PM offered to make what he says would be one of the "biggest changes" in the history of the British visa system
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/06/03/boris-johnson-says-3m-people-hong-kong-will-get-path-british/

[Ian]

How do we stand to gain from that?

I'm not having that Boris is worried about it on the basis of democracy or human suffering.

[niko_cee]

They're generally highly educated, 'high value' folk, I believe. Points system ding ding ding etc.

Isn't this a policy/reaction Lewis specifically advocated back when they were camping in the airport?

[Jimmy Floyd]

How do we stand to gain from that?

I'm not having that Boris is worried about it on the basis of democracy or human suffering.

It's not necessarily democracy or human suffering (maybe some of the former), but he loves a grand gesture and this would be one.

[Lewis]

If we have existing obligations then we should uphold them, but I don't see how permanently taking three million people in is any sort of good idea. We would need to be spreading that around a bit and freezing all other immigration with it. These wheezes about shoving them all in one place and telling them to make a new Hong Kong are interesting though. They could have Sunk Island, or fence off some of the Northern Ireland borderlands for them with Union Jack bunting.

[Queenslander]

We will for sure take a good chunk.

[Spikey M]

If we have existing obligations then we should uphold them, but I don't see how permanently taking three million people in is any sort of good idea. We would need to be spreading that around a bit and freezing all other immigration with it. These wheezes about shoving them all in one place and telling them to make a new Hong Kong are interesting though. They could have Sunk Island, or fence off some of the Northern Ireland borderlands for them with Union Jack bunting.

Just give them Wales.

[Giggles]

Isn’t most of Scotland empty?

[Queenslander]

They can have the Northern Territory.

[Spikey M]

Isn’t most of Scotland empty?

Yes, but for good reason.

[Raoul Duke]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/03/business-secretary-alok-sharma-coronavirus-test-speech-commons :lol:

Absolute fucking morons. Dragged them all in just so Boris would have some cheerleaders and one of them shows up with Coronavirus. Which is...exactly the point of not going into work when you're ill.

[Don]

You can almost see the COVID in his veins :D

Iran heath minister did it better still, literally toweling himself off whilst playing down the virus.

[Manc]

These lads don't do days off.

[Spikey M]

Atleast if Boris gets it again it'll answer the Immunity question.

[Manc]

Luis at the ready.

[Boydy]

1285259616838995968


1285308395038355458

1285314836386242565

tAkInG bAcK cOnTrOl

[Lewis]

I feel like I could have written this 'Russia Report'. Other than recognising the inherent dodginess of wealthy Russians it's just a load of open-source wank and wondering what to do about things we've been wondering to do about for a hundred years. THEY HAVE A SPHERE OF INFLUENCE. Oh really?

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is an interesting bit in Appendix 7b (Section 4, page 219) where it says they have bears there and it's cold in winter.

[Lewis]

I liked the response from Christopher 'Fred Holroyd' Steele speculating why actual intelligence services never bothered pursuing his work.

[Shindig]

Russia is a land of contrasts.

[randomlegend]

The Tories are proper cunts with these 'payrises'. A reward for front line doctors for covid which only actually applies to consultants and for teachers but it has to come out of the existing ravaged school budgets.

[Mellberg]

Could've stopped typing after five words.

[John]

My cousin's fiance is a nurse and has gone from a bit of a shy Tory to wanting Boris hanged from Tower Bridge while Corbyn storms parliament over the last couple of days.

[Spikey M]

The Tories are proper cunts with these 'payrises'. A reward for front line doctors for covid which only actually applies to consultants and for teachers but it has to come out of the existing ravaged school budgets.

What the fuck have teachers done to deserve it anyway?

[Kikó]

Teach throughout the pandemic?

[Spikey M]

Most of them haven't and those that have pissed and moaned about every second of it.

[phonics]

Already be massively underpaid?

Edit: I like that the best answer spikey has is ‘they moaned about doing it so they shouldn’t get a raise’

[Spikey M]

That's true of the entirety of the Public Service, of which great swathes have been missed out.

[Spikey M]

For clarification: My issue isn't that Teachers don't deserve to be paid more. They do. They do an important job. My issue is that this Pay Rise has been dressed up as a form of 'thank you' for their work during Covid, whilst they miss out front line NHS staff. It's bonkers.

[niko_cee]

An entirely nonsensical policy? From this government?

[phonics]

It's almost like they're not spending more money and shoving cash from next years budget into holes for votes.

[randomlegend]

My fiancée's had to put in as many, if not more, hours than she usually does.

It's also not the point. It's that the Tories constantly present things in an extremely dishonest way to manipulate public opinion.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reiterate: everyone should have a payrise, except people who don't deserve one. If they enacted this killer policy tomorrow everything would be sorted.

[Lewis]

It will be interesting to see if we start a foreign agent registry along the lines of what the Americans have. It's a good idea anyway, but the lol will be in them wrestling with a comprehensive definition that doesn't include everyone with European Union pensions and the like. The Chinese too. If a certain company is actually an arm of the state then it chucks massive shit in their boardroom.

[randomlegend]

I reiterate: everyone should have a payrise, except people who don't deserve one. If they enacted this killer policy tomorrow everything would be sorted.

Lol shut the fuck up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They've just paid out a billion gazillion to keep a quarter of the country in jobs and prevent total economic collapse, you reckon there is endless money for pay rises in all apparently deserving areas? There isn't.

And shock horror a government presents its policies as more effective than they actually are, this is not a new thing.

[Lewis]

I would like to hear more about them bending the truth for favourable coverage. It sounds like a major scandal waiting to be exposed.

[Lofty]

I like the bit where they promised they wouldnt offer up the NHS and Farmers up to the yanks for arse raping and then voted against chastity belts for said NHS and Farmers this week.

The problem with a lot of public service jobs being underpaid and cut to the bone under austerity is that you end up with either the truly pure of heart believers or more likely the less desirable candidates in the roles. There are likely plenty of people who would make decent coppers and teachers out there lolling at the salary to stress ratio making far more tossing it off in a office job that hardly benefits society. Not sure how you resolve that but there you go.

[randomlegend]

They've just paid out a billion gazillion to keep a quarter of the country in jobs and prevent total economic collapse, you reckon there is endless money for pay rises in all apparently deserving areas? There isn't.

And shock horror a government presents its policies as more effective than they actually are, this is not a new thing.


I would like to hear more about them bending the truth for favourable coverage. It sounds like a major scandal waiting to be exposed.

You're like a pair of Justin Bieber fan girls.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That is exactly it, i.e. the division between jobs for which there is a commercial demand and jobs for which there is a social demand. The former live and die on their own accord/merits, whereas the latter need money to fund their existence, and if the money isn't there then it has to be found from somewhere else, be it an existing pool, or increased taxation, or whatever.

Problem is, people in column A (whose livelihoods sink or swim based on whether they/their colleagues do a good job tomorrow) often vote according to their own needs and not the needs of people in column B, and this produces residual bitterness in both directions.

[randomlegend]

The former live and die on their own accord/merits

You have to have actual brain damage to believe that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's true. If your product sells, it sells. If it doesn't, sayonara.

[phonics]

Literally the voltage that provides the electricity into your house to allow you to type that post proves that as untrue.

[Spoonsky]

It's true. If your product sells, it sells. If it doesn't, sayonara.

Which is why no commercial industry has ever been bailed out by the government, right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They have been but only for convenient political reasons, in theory it shouldn't happen, and doesn't happen to any business small enough not to be mates with the national law makers.

[Spikey M]

It's true. If your product sells, it sells. If it doesn't, sayonara.

I think he's talking about the concept of the private sector being a meritocracy. Which it quite clearly isn't. Especially amongst the big companies.

[Spikey M]

They have been but only for convenient political reasons, in theory it shouldn't happen, and doesn't happen to any business small enough not to be mates with the national law makers.

That's not surviving on merit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Almost never happens and applies to 0.0001% of companies even when it does.

[Spikey M]

For bailouts perhaps. But there's also subsidies for half the private sector.

[Kikó]

The weakest always fail (unless bailed out by their mates).

[Spikey M]

Or subsidised to allow failing sectors to continue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Even if you're subsidised, you have to do things better than your also-subsidised competitors.

[Lewis]

Who in their right mind (probably answers the question) would want this Downing Street spokesperson job? I think it's a good idea in theory, but surely the only people up for it will be absolute mentalists.

[Byron]

Plus it's a Presidential style role for a non-Presidential system.

But it's pretty clear that Boris doesn't want to face any actual questions or scrutiny so he'd rather pay someone £100k a year to take that for him.

[Shindig]

Can he not just use Dominic for that one?

[Spikey M]

He's the least public facing person in the squad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To be fair, the PM's job isn't really (or shouldn't be) to stand around answering stupid questions from Robert Peston every day. It's just that no one seems too convinced that this one does any real work at all.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.greatbritishpolitics.co.uk/ukpoliticslive/1142-which-prime-minister-are-you-quiz

I did this earlier and, well, no prizes whatsoever for guessing who I got. My unholy combination of liberal attitudes towards most things with a bit of sterner stuff on defence/crime is right up his toothily-grinning alley.

Not even being low tax and liking cricket could save me.

[Boydy]

That site is fucked on mobile.

[John Arne]

:)

https://gyazo.com/ad2e1bcb7395b26b80ce6c8bca4ba39d.jpeg

[Boydy]

I got Blair as well. Horseshit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you and me both got given Tony then only three things are possible:

1) I'm now a communist and haven't realised it
2) You're now a Tory and haven't realised it
3) The quiz itself is an evil plot by Tony Blair himself

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I got Harold Wilson so it can't be 3.

[Spikey M]

I'm John Major.

Sorry Red Jim.

[SvN]

I got Brown.

[Spikey M]

We have our loser.

[Shindig]

I am also John Major. To be honest, the lockdown's given me the same grey expression.

[Lofty]

I am also Major.

[Shindig]

I was annoyed I couldn't pick the environment as the most important thing but no environmentalist has ever won power. Stark.

[Lewis]

I got John Major. I don't know how.

[Shindig]

Team Civil Service.

[Spikey M]

I did select Civil Service for that question. Maybe that's all it takes. But yeah, any test separating Lewis from Jimmy and pairing Jimmy with Boydy is beyond broken.

[Lewis]

When you put it like that there might be something to it.

[Manc]

Is Major the only football fan?

[Shindig]

Nah, that's got to be a Blair and Cameron trigger as well. Cricket is Boris through and through.

[niko_cee]

John Major's a big cricket fan.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is Major the only football fan?

I got Wilson with football.

[phonics]

Can’t believe the papers seem to be implying that the peerage system doesn’t seem to be on the up and up. Devastated.

[phonics]

How has a high level Tory been arrested for rape and not had their name leaked.

[Lofty]

The internet detectives speculate that he chose a 'misleading' police station to appear at making it harder to deduce his identity.

[John]

The pictures of Matt Hancock playing football that have resurfaced on Twitter are fucking excellent.

[John]

https://i.ibb.co/nCkQS2c/IMG-20200813-WA0009.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[niko_cee]

It's good to know there's something he's worse at than being health secretary.

[Disco]

Has he been forced against his will to take part?

[Shindig]

To be fair, politicians never look right playing sport.

[Disco]

The guy on the left looks alright.

[Kikó]

He's a journalist.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The reason politicians are politicians is that they were shit at, and hated, sport at school. I only gained this wisdom recently, but it explains so much.

[Disco]

He's a journalist.

Shhh.

[niko_cee]

Isn't that Gordon Ramsay?

[Shindig]

Not with that chin.

[Giggles]

I thought war day was in November? What’s this?

[niko_cee]

75th anniversary of VJ Day.

[Giggles]

What’s the J?

[Raoul Duke]

Jet from Gladiators

[Giggles]

Jet from Gladiators

Then I approve.

[Lewis]

Japan. You get a week building up to it when all of the stupid articles about the nuclear attacks re-surface, but then the feel-good stories about Indians filter through and we come back round.

[Giggles]

The American Indians you massacred or the Asian Indians you massacred?

[Lewis]

The Asian Indians who fought for Britain against Japan. Then again, that just brings up the wartime famine stuff, so there is something for everyone with a grievance.

[Giggles]

Ah I’m only pulling the piss. You’re alright.

[Don]

I swear I just saw a "Teachers are qualified. Your not #resigngavin" sign on the news just now covering the protests today :D

What'sthe big hoo-har, surely there aren't thousands of university spots going unfilled as a result of the algorithm so is this just the usual clearing lot wanting to cry a bit for a handout and have their BLM moment?

[randomlegend]

I mean, the way it's been done I would 100% have lost my place at medical school because nobody at my school got grades remotely close to mine the previous year meaning I'd have been heavily downgraded.

It sounds like Universities are trying their best to give people second chances to retain their place on their course but it's shambolic from the government.

[niko_cee]

It is a mess but what's the alternative? Give everyone the highest grades? Universities (and other institutions) really ought to just stand by their offers, regardless of grades, as much as possible, then none of it really matters.

[randomlegend]

Teachers predicted grades should be used. It's insanely unfair that an individual student gets downgraded just because of what school they go to.

Like I said, I would have been heavily downgraded because of the 6th form I went to, but if I had chosen to go to the one 10 minutes up the road I wouldn't have been. It's a total nonsense.

[Shindig]

Did they get any mocks in before Covid?

[Don]

It's not a nonsense, it's statistics :drool:

[niko_cee]

My initial thought was that teachers should probably be trusted with their predictions, but wouldn't that have ended up with something like a 38% increase in top grades this year as compared to last?

Everyone should get a massive A for asterisk grade and have their university offers, or whatever else, honoured as these 'results' are obviously not something you should be basing anything on.

[randomlegend]

It's not a nonsense, it's statistics :drool:

More often than not those are the same thing.


My initial thought was that teachers should probably be trusted with their predictions, but wouldn't that have ended up with something like a 38% increase in top grades this year as compared to last?

Does it matter? Much fairer than denying places to kids who deserve them because they live in the wrong post code.

[Lewis]

They should have just kept the schools open, so lol at any teachers moaning.

[randomlegend]

They should have just kept the schools open, so lol at any teachers moaning.

It wasn't teachers' decision to close schools. Not sure why the government closing schools means teachers shouldn't be upset that their students are treated unfairly by the same government who closed the schools.

[Lewis]

They could have made more of an effort to get them open again, but they were all pissing and moaning and having too much fun on holiday (and they will still be doing it in September). And now they have the gall to act like they've all been hoyed under the bus together.

[randomlegend]

It's pointless engaging you on this because you literally don't have the first clue what you're talking about.

[Baz]

Is your missus a teacher, RL? :rosebud:

The whole 'goes to an academy, passes; doesn't go to an academy, fails' is complete and utter bullshit from the government, but it's stiil amusing seeing all the "omg are ellie hasnt stopped cryin. gunna appeal asap as pos' on social media.

[randomlegend]

Yes, but a primary school teacher.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If it's any consolation, I was at Bradfield College today (absolutely archetypal thicko public school) and the resident raspberry shorts-wearing geography teacher was braying salt tears at how much his A level kids had been marked down, all against the backdrop of Victorian architecture and perfectly-manicured grounds that no one has been using since March.

His fault for being in a historically thick school, I guess. Respect the algorithm, mate.

Every time I visit a public school it makes me want to vote Labour and abolish them.

[Lewis]

The country is finished. The only thing in its favour is that everywhere else is worse.

[Shindig]

One of the kids holding a comparison of their GCSE grades cracked me up. As a lad that smashed his English GCSE's then completely buggered his English Lit A level, it brought back some good memories.

[Yevrah]

I don't know why they just couldn't sit the exams.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because they would all have died of respiratory failure.

[Shindig]

Or complained they had no time to revise.

[Yevrah]

Schools were closed, they had plenty of time to revise.

I'm not blaming the kids for this btw, it should have been down to the government and teachers to sort it out, but the former are a shambles and the latter don't appear to want to be leaders in this crisis.

[Kikó]

It won't be the last time a shitty biased algorithm is used to make shitty biased results. It's another disgrace of many and I'm not surprised Lewis falls on the side of team Cummings.

[randomlegend]

the latter don't appear to want to be leaders in this crisis.

They have no power to be leaders.

[Yevrah]

Is there a comprehensive list anywhere of things the government have got right (rofl) and things they've mishandled so far this year?

[Ian]

The first one wouldn't take long to compile.

[Spikey M]

+1 for just let them sit the fucking exams. The whole thing is an utterly avoidable shitfest. If I can go to the pub and Center Parcs then little Timmy can fail his RE exam the fair way.

[Yevrah]

Indeed.

Much like finishing the Premier League, getting Formula One going, opening pubs as safely as possible, why from day 1 of lockdown was it not being worked out how these kids could sit exams?

Surely everything was in place by that point so that all that had to be sorted was where and how to do it safely? Giving you a mark for completing something that you haven't completed, however it's arrived at, is retarded beyond belief.

[phonics]

Well they caved anyway so who cares.

Just an absolutely useless set of complete incompetence this lot.

[mo]

Anyone thinking exams could have gone ahead or blaming teachers for any of this is either a fucking numpty or into some hardcore revisionism. Still not sure why this country hates and mistrusts teachers.

[phonics]

Because people blame you for their shitty parenting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

People hate all highly unionised professions, by and large.

[Lewis]

It won't be the last time a shitty biased algorithm is used to make shitty biased results. It's another disgrace of many and I'm not surprised Lewis falls on the side of team Cummings.

It seems to have got most people right, so, with a proper appeals process (yet another arm of the incompetent administrative state with its own agenda fucking that one up), it stood to do about as good a job as possible given the circumstances. The universities double-booking half of their offers would have been equally sunk if everyone got their over-estimated predicted grades, so... What? This is the Great Three Month Holiday coming back to bite people in the arse, which was amongst the main reasons for not having one.

[SvN]

The average person has no idea what a difficult job teaching is.

I remember lolling my tits off when GS said he could "quite happily rock up and teach history for a few hours per week" if it weren't for the onerous qualifications required. I'd love to see the look of panic on his face when the kids instantly clock him as Captain Autismo and lob paper balls off his bonce.

[Spikey M]

Anyone thinking exams could have gone ahead or blaming teachers for any of this is either a fucking numpty or into some hardcore revisionism. Still not sure why this country hates and mistrusts teachers.

Numpty here. Why can I drink in a pub but little Timmy can't sit in a naturally socially distanced Hall to write on paper for a couple of hours?

[mo]

You were being discouraged from visiting pubs around the time exams were cancelled, if I remember correctly. And then pubs were shut.

But to indulge you further, the logistics and health and safety measures were nothing short of military grade. When Y10 students were allowed back into school, they had to be admitted at staggered start times, kept in their class bubbles at all times, supervised to avoid mixing bubbles in overlaps at break times, etc.

Imagine trying to do that for 300-500 kids sitting a core exam (so they all have to be sat at the same time, across the country). Government guidelines made it impossible.

[Spikey M]

I'm not saying they should have been sat at the time, I'm saying they've had ample time to do so since. E-Lessons and revision tutorials in the run up. It would have been very easily doable.

I should point out that that I'm not blaming teachers for it not having been done. It's just another fuck up by BoJo and his merry band of cunts.

[Yevrah]

There should at the very least have been a plan in place to allow them to be sat if the circumstances allowed. Did such a plan exist? Was it ever even discussed?

[Yevrah]

The snooker, for example, was moved from May to August, but that still wouldn't have gone ahead if circumstances dictated.

I know it's one tournament and not a nationwide exercise, but if we can organise an election in a fortnight we can sure as shit do exam sittings.

[randomlegend]

The snooker, for example, was moved from May to August, but that still wouldn't have gone ahead if circumstances dictated.

I know it's one tournament and not a nationwide exercise, but if we can organise an election in a fortnight we can sure as shit do exam sittings.

Marking and moderating takes ages. If they'd allowed the exams to be taken later I'd imagine it'd have a knock-on effect on the start of the University term which would organisationally be a bit of a nightmare.

I'm sure it would have been doable but probably much more difficult than it first looks.

[Yevrah]

Not saying it's easy, but it looks to me like we've gone with the easiest and shittest option and that's why we're in this mess.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There hasn't been a plan for anything in this country all pandemic long. All anyone has done, whether it be government or anyone else, is just try and avoid blame for deaths.

[Yevrah]

You can just about get away with some non-exam age kids missing a term and a bit of school, but giving those sitting exams, results via an algorithm? Fuck that. Fuck it in the ear.

[Yevrah]

There hasn't been a plan for anything in this country all pandemic long. All anyone has done, whether it be government or anyone else, is just try and avoid blame for deaths.

The private sector has planned its arse off.

[phonics]

I mean they not only went with the shitty option, they took that option and then levelled 8 tons of shit on top of it by saying it only applies to their rich mates. Everyone else gets fucked.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now they have u-turned, how on earth are the unis going to cope?

[randomlegend]

There hasn't been a plan for anything in this country all pandemic long. All anyone has done, whether it be government or anyone else, is just try and avoid blame for deaths.

No, that's what the government has done, it's not what everyone else has done.

[Yevrah]

Now they have u-turned, how on earth are the unis going to cope?

They've already given out all of the places, no?

This is an omni-shambles.

[mo]

I'm not saying they should have been sat at the time, I'm saying they've had ample time to do so since. E-Lessons and revision tutorials in the run up. It would have been very easily doable.

I should point out that that I'm not blaming teachers for it not having been done. It's just another fuck up by BoJo and his merry band of cunts.

Online learning massively disadvantaged those without regular internet access and/or access to a laptop/PC. The government promised to sort this by supplying laptops for students without access but that, unsurprisingly, was an omnishambles.

To say would have been very easily doable is an incredibly simplistic take, and one that fails to address the myriad of obstacles that would have been needed to be overcome.

[randomlegend]

They've already given out all of the places, no?

This is an omni-shambles.

Presumably they over-subscribe the courses because not everyone gets the grades or takes up their place but I can't pretend I know exactly how it all works.

[mo]

:D swear I was writing my post and didn’t see Yev’s use of omnishambles first.

[Shindig]

I remember lolling my tits off when GS said he could "quite happily rock up and teach history for a few hours per week" if it weren't for the onerous qualifications required. I'd love to see the look of panic on his face when the kids instantly clock him as Captain Autismo and lob paper balls off his bonce.

If he's lucky, aye. Up North he'd have been locked in a cupboard whilst the kids gather outside asking, "Where's your God now?!"

[Jimmy Floyd]

No, that's what the government has done, it's not what everyone else has done.

There are lots of mongs out there in positions of power beyond the 30 odd central government cabinet members, you know. Local government, companies, boards, councils, 'the science', all of it has just been a blame dodging exercise.

[Spikey M]

Online learning massively disadvantaged those without regular internet access and/or access to a laptop/PC. The government promised to sort this by supplying laptops for students without access but that, unsurprisingly, was an omnishambles.

To say would have been very easily doable is an incredibly simplistic take, and one that fails to address the myriad of obstacles that would have been needed to be overcome.

It's simplistic because I'm not a policy maker. My point remains that if the education of our Children was a priority for this government they would have got the exams to fly.

[Pepe]

The average person has no idea what a difficult job teaching is.

I remember lolling my tits off when GS said he could "quite happily rock up and teach history for a few hours per week" if it weren't for the onerous qualifications required. I'd love to see the look of panic on his face when the kids instantly clock him as Captain Autismo and lob paper balls off his bonce.

I am sure teaching grade school is harder, since kids are all arseholes, but college level teaching is piss easy.

[Pepe]

I reckon I could show up to teach math(s) tomorrow at any school level and don it.

[Shindig]

"Open your textbooks at page 11 and do the questions they've asked. I'll see you cunts in an hour."

[Lofty]

Cherry on top of the shit sundae being Dido appointed to a role she has no experience for days after the government was wittering about not overpromoting people in defence of the algorithm :D

[Ian]

Was it not Gavin Williamson bleating about people being overpromoted? Genuinely a contender for Britain's thickest cunt and the man who wanted to mount AA guns on tractors?

[Lofty]

He had trotted out some line to that effect. Quite amusing seeing my hometown MP defend the results stuff in the paper then saying to one of his mates on twitter he would be signing something supporting a rethink hours later, no wonder government is a shit show.

[mo]

Williamson didn't actually say that:

https://twitter.com/daisychristo/status/1294180451297497088

[Edit] But is still a massive cunt.

[Ian]

Fair enough, I'll just go back to marvelling at the deeply weird tea-drinking clip and his whip.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Any time David Schneider gets retweeted onto my timeline I just assume whatever he's sneering about is a load of balls.

[Lewis]

The sort of psycho you must have to be to sit giving it the large'un on Twitter all day whilst everyone knows you like to batter prostitutes boggles my tiny mind.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-53840379

"Piss off, we're full."

[Lewis]

And then the 2021 cohort get stuffed, so they have to account for that, which ripples into 2022... All it needed was a proper appeals process with the different sectors willing to play along.

[Don]

Nah, but the data can't be trusted, teachers know best.

[Lewis]

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/shaun-bailey-london-mayor-firm-drug-test-staff-a4531351.html

Where do you even start? Middle class druggies are probably his only voters as well.

[Shindig]

It'd only work if recreational drug use was exclusive to gang members.

[mo]

1297647113745190912

Bastard teachers at it again. Thank God Boris is going to take charge.

[Spikey M]

Wash your hands before posting on here please.

[Lewis]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/12498386/tony-abbott-britain-trade-deal-supremo/

Who saw that one coming? He might need a peerage for that as well. :harold:

[Queenslander]

What an awful choice.

[mo]

Johnson's address to students was the biggest load of wank I've ever heard :D . Like a bad assembly - someone should have told him you can't just chuck out open ended questions to kids like that because you won't get a load of sychophantic murmuring of agreement. You will just get silence. He said literally nothing of note.

[Giggles]

I'd say the DUP explained it very clearly to the buffoon at the time.


1303079104363868160

[Boydy]

They're gonna do no deal. They always fucking were. It's disaster capitalism. Cunts.

[Byron]

Yep and 40% of the country will lap up the narrative that it’s the nasty EU’s fault anyway.

Fuck it, I hope it’s no deal and I hope it’s horrific. Brexiteers made their bed, they can lie in it.

[Giggles]

A fantastic deal.


1193562889484951552

[Ian]

Yep and 40% of the country will lap up the narrative that it’s the nasty EU’s fault anyway.

The amount of this going on by the frothing-at-the-mouth types is mind-boggling.

[niko_cee]

Isn't this just typical negotiation posturing and/or an attempt to have some sort of framework to operate in when next year hits? It's all well and good kicking everything down the road to be sorted in the trade deal, but when that trade deal doesn't happen (it will) you probably need to have some semblance of something to fall back on. There are ctually quite a lot of interesting decisions that need making, which is more worrying given the state of the current administration in the UK. The EU will wander on regardless and other than a few shrill headlines to the contrary, life will go on.

[Lofty]

I think they do want no deal and will just blame the EU not giving us everything and covid for it happening. That will be then used to justify all the shaftings handed out to secure trade deals that line the pockets of billionaires and disadvantage us plebs more. Bojo was getting showered with champagne and blowjobs at some US Healthcare event as soon as May's blood was in the water.

[phonics]

“COVID-19 is making us look shit, back to the culture war”

[Queenslander]

“COVID-19 is making us look shit, back to the culture war”

100% what is happening down here atm.

[phonics]

Why is Hancock speaking on anything that doesn't have to do with health? I mean he's unqualified to speak on that subject but at least it's within his job pervue.

What the fuck does he know about the WA and the Irish Peace Process?

[Yevrah]

This government shows so many signs of operating within a 'circle of trust', which will kill them internally eventually.

[Lewis]

Everybody else who talks about the Good Friday Agreement doesn't seem to have read it so he might as well pile in.

[Spikey M]

1303619021582086144?s=19
:D

Queenslander will enjoy that.

[Lewis]

It's a weird thing where he's clearly answering in such a way as to avoid saying anything, as they presumably all learn to, but (assuming he hasn't got the balls to challenge the basis of the question) he would have been better off just saying 'Nah not really love' and standing there until she gave up.

[Don]

Always amazes me when I read these people's academic credentials after they die a death like this. Raab was the other one that comes to mind. Does brain rot set in because all they've been doing is white man procrastination i.e. high-level Civil Service work or is it just the pressure and stage fright that makes them have these brain farts?

[Spikey M]

"I think we should listen to people's sisters" got a legit lol.

[Lewis]

Always amazes me when I read these people's academic credentials after they die a death like this. Raab was the other one that comes to mind. Does brain rot set in because all they've been doing is white man procrastination i.e. high-level Civil Service work or is it just the pressure and stage fright that makes them have these brain farts?

It must be something approaching the latter. If Donald Trump has taught us anything, it's that you can just wave these media wankers off. What can they do?

'Do you have anything to add to that?'
'No.'

She then either reads some quotes out ('As I said, he's been asked to advise specifically on...') or goes on some pointless whinge (just smirk at her). Either way, nobody watched it at the time, and nobody lols at it afterwards. Instead you get that.

[Don]

Ya, I'd agree.

[Alex]

"I think we should listen to people's sisters" got a legit lol.

Same.

I was constantly amused during that video by the way his face defaults to that gormless fucking grin when he's not talking. :D

[Queenslander]

1303619021582086144?s=19
:D

Queenslander will enjoy that.

Lol wait untill they dig up all of uncle Tony's old sound bites.


https://youtu.be/9wT9XS_TvzQ

[Spikey M]

Lol wait untill they dig up all of uncle Tony's old sound bites.


https://youtu.be/9wT9XS_TvzQ

:D

Do you fancy a trade deal Queeny?

[Queenslander]

:D

Do you fancy a trade deal Queeny?

He will win you all over when he starts walking the beaches of England in his budgie smugglers.

https://i.ibb.co/tPFxkGB/fbca7ee23688b2147856b40e6ccc7e4d-1.jpg (https://imgbb.com/)
free image hosting (https://imgbb.com/)

[Spikey M]

Not with that nano-bulge.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-54116606


UK signs first major post-Brexit trade deal with Japan

AND HE'S TONY ABBOTT, TONY ABBOTT FC, HE'S THE GREATEST TRADE NEGOTIATOR THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

[Jimmy Floyd]

"From our automotive workers in Wales to our shoemakers in the North of England, this deal will help build back better as we create new opportunities for people throughout the whole of the UK and help level up our country."

Build back better? Ugh, these people need to be banned from speech.

[Boydy]

Build back better? Ugh, these people need to be banned from speech.

Isn't that the Biden campaign slogan?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Maybe there are 23 year old staffers on both sides of the Atlantic independently deciding that it somehow makes sense or means anything.

[phonics]

It'll be something involving one of those focus groups that decide everything even though no-one knows anyone that actually participates in them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A slogan is just a sentence designed by committee.

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-54116606



AND HE'S TONY ABBOTT, TONY ABBOTT FC, HE'S THE GREATEST TRADE NEGOTIATOR THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

Tony. Tony, Tony. Tony, Tony. Tony, Tony Abbott.
Boris. Boris, Boris...

[Spikey M]

1304731109926764544?s=19

:lol:

[Offshore Toon]

Anybody that truly likes or loves Queen is always shit.

[Lewis]

When I was in sixth form some lass was having a completely normal eighteenth, but then, after she did her thank you for coming bit, her uncle treated all the teenagers in the room to his quite serious cover of Crazy Little Thing Called Love. He was properly going for it, and all of the family were loving it (and cheered him on for it like it was a regular part of their gatherings), where as I think everyone else in the room is still confused to this day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I used to love Queen when I was a teenager. I probably haven't listened to it for 12-15 years now, and I doubt I will again, but I do find it funny how upset a lot of serious musicheads get about them. They were basically a chart pop band masquerading as a rock group - so what? They did it well, churned out loads of hits and there are at least 8-10 legitimately good songs in the catalogue. Most of the albums (from memory) were 60% shite but then most albums are that or worse.

The miserable musos of the time seemed to require everything to come from a gritty, underground platform rebelling against the establishment - Queen were not that, but so what, I mean, the clue's in the fucking name - and if I'm being mischievous, I don't think their critics could accept on a deep psychological level the lead singer being as 'flamboyant' as he was, coming from that place. It's a bit like today when the left think all black people should vote Labour.

They're a good gateway band to enjoy when you're 15 and not knowledgeable or mature enough to appreciate better/more nuanced music.

[igor_balis]

I used to love Queen when I was a teenager. I probably haven't listened to it for 12-15 years now, and I doubt I will again, but I do find it funny how upset a lot of serious musicheads get about them. They were basically a chart pop band masquerading as a rock group - so what? They did it well, churned out loads of hits and there are at least 8-10 legitimately good songs in the catalogue. Most of the albums (from memory) were 60% shite but then most albums are that or worse.

The miserable musos of the time seemed to require everything to come from a gritty, underground platform rebelling against the establishment - Queen were not that, but so what, I mean, the clue's in the fucking name - and if I'm being mischievous, I don't think their critics could accept on a deep psychological level the lead singer being as 'flamboyant' as he was, coming from that place. It's a bit like today when the left think all black people should vote Labour.

They're a good gateway band to enjoy when you're 15 and not knowledgeable or mature enough to appreciate better/more nuanced music.

Me and my mates were actually talking about Queen last night. I don't like them, but it doesn't come from a position of rockist snobbery, they just leave me a bit cold. I tried to explain why I didn't like them last night, but the problem with that kind of musical discussion is that usually it's just a purely emotional, subjective thing, and then you're basically working backwards and trying to think of arbitrary justifications.

Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my least favourite songs of all time, it's like nightmare circus music. I fucking love I Want to Break Free, though.

[Lewis]

Everyone likes Queen, but being bang into them is a bit suspect. I object to Brian May having one guitar tone more than all the flamboyance.

[Lewis]

Speaking of once popular but now severely dated shite, I was eagerly awaiting the Tony Blair intervention on this Brexit bollocks. I thought he would just be typically shameless about it, but using John Major for cover is a smart move.

[Offshore Toon]

Everyone likes Queen, but being bang into them is a bit suspect. I object to Brian May having one guitar tone more than all the flamboyance.
Basically this.

Mercury is great and is the only reason why they're remotely likeable. His presence and personality is something else, but not enough to carry a song about riding a bike.

[igor_balis]

We are the champions and we will rock you are fucking awful too.

[Spikey M]

Bohemian Rhapsody is great but that leaves them on level pegging with Wizzard and Chumbawamba in my mind. One hit wonders.

[Shindig]

Another One Bites the Dust is alright.

[Spikey M]

Only because of Gladiators.

[Lewis]

They're like Monty Python. Freddie Mercury was a brilliant frontman, but ninety per cent of their stuff was shit. The albums are all shit, but nobody has ever actually listened to them all (other than the aforementioned wrong'uns), so people only know the ten per cent that is good/five per cent that is top drawer, which happens to be just about enough for an enjoyable compilation album or a legendary concert. When somebody says they like Queen they mean they like the ten songs they actually know.

[Spikey M]

1305561114596515840?s=19

[Lewis]

That doesn't make sense, assuming 'protecting GB to Northern Ireland exports' is the default setting that the government claims the European Union is cocking about with. It's like asking how much of a consideration not being naked was when I chose my t-shirt this morning. Well, it wasn't.

It's all a bit of bollocks this stuff. What Theresa May agreed to was shit, and what Boris Johnson agreed to, whilst slightly understandable in context, was shit. It's not a particularly good look that we're now trying to worm our way out of its inherent logic (although clever people saw this coming (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?1631-UK-General-Election-2017-8-June&p=361900&viewfull=1#post361900)); but then what are you meant to do when the other side aren't negotiating in the good faith that these sort of things are predicated on? As a STAUNCH Brexiteer I'm not arsed, but then I wouldn't have negotiated with them at all because this was all obvious.

The best bit for me is all the hand-wringing about what sort of message this sends out to the rest of the world. What universe do these dickheads live in where other countries - let alone the shithouse ones they want to be telling off - look to us for moral leadership?

[phonics]

He really doesn't help himself looking like a child that's being told off. Absolutely slumped into his chair looking like shit.

[Boydy]

Just let us go and unite Ireland and yous can fuck off and do all the little Englander shit you want. Everyone's happy. Except Giggles and the DUP.

[Giggles]

Just let us go and unite Ireland and yous can fuck off and do all the little Englander shit you want. Everyone's happy. Except Giggles and the DUP.

If they thought they could get away with it for a second it's exactly what the London government would love to do. Thankfully that's the only thing that's not an option.

[Boydy]

If they thought they could get away with it for a second it's exactly what the London government would love to do. Thankfully that's the only thing that's not an option.
A nation once again, a nation once again...

Come on, sing it with me.

[Lewis]

As if Ireland really wants it. They've only been able to pretend to all these years because it wasn't happening.

[Giggles]

As if Ireland really wants it. They've only been able to pretend to all these years because it wasn't happening.

Exactly. Neither wants it but both still have to pretend to.