UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[phonics]

Could have been so much worse though, 'country' is playing with fire just for standing in front of the O, never mind letters falling off.

'Building a cunt that works for Ron' would have been good.

Already been done.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLS224rXoAEv7qA.jpg:large

[Kikó]

That's actually the slogan he's campaigning on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She should probably sack him. Makes her look strong and what's he going to do, formulate a hard-hitting Thucydides reference and write it up in 1,000 words in Monday's Telegraph?

[Magic]

Theresa Mays speech involved getting Lee Mason'd, having a coughing fit and then the stage started falling apart.

Also saying you're all about a free market and then your three main announcements are price cap/freezes. Lol. These people didn't vote for Ed Miliband so why her people think they'll vote Conservative if she pretends to be him is weird.

I love this. What a fucking clusterfuck. It's hilarious!

[Raoul Duke]

It's astonishing this set of complete shitmunchers are the best we have to offer

[Boydy]

It's astonishing this set of complete shitmunchers are the best we have to offer
They're not.

[Kikó]

Exactly. Bring back Chuka.

[Lewis]

As useless (or at least gutless) as they are, let's not pretend that Jeremy Corbyn isn't a complete braindead surrounded by violent cretins.

[Raoul Duke]

I was generalising. They're all utter dreck.

[Magic]

Idiots. Don't you know who Diane Abbot is?

[Disco]

Is she your social worker?

[Magic]

She said I have 552 billion 22 hundred problems.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tom Tugendhat is the next PM in waiting. Think he was a remainer which is a minor problem but I'm sure we can get around that. T'reeza probably needs to cling on for another winter though or it might be early for him.

Problem Jezza has, in the finest traditions of British irony, is the fixed term parliaments act.

[John]

She said I have 552 billion 22 hundred problems.

Six more than her.

[Shindig]

Dear Jihadists,

Lee Mason deserves it.

[Boydy]

I was generalising. They're all utter dreck.

Aye, and I was trying to draw this response out of you so I could call you a centrist dad.

[GS]

As useless (or at least gutless) as they are, let's not pretend that Jeremy Corbyn isn't a complete braindead surrounded by violent cretins.

Corbyn hasn't had an original thought in about fifty years. He's basically a vessel for Seamus Milne and John McDonnell's Marxist shite, which would come flooding in properly if they were ever in power. Part of me would like to see it happen, if only to hammer home to the idiots voting for them how shit it would actually be.

[Pepe]

Marxist shite. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41519601

Fucking Grant Shapps? Is that the best you can do?

Oh I see they've got an Ed Vaizey quote underneath as well, nice of him to take a break from sipping champagne at the theatre.

[Lewis]

The revenge of the over-promoted Gideon era stiffs. I bet she's bricking it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a bit like when Hazel Blears and James Purnell were launching their annual bids to sink McDoom.

My Buzzfeed headline for today is: When you see what James Purnell now looks like and now does for a living you will ... not be remotely surprised.

[phonics]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41519601

Fucking Grant Shapps? Is that the best you can do?

Oh I see they've got an Ed Vaizey quote underneath as well, nice of him to take a break from sipping champagne at the theatre.

This is how the left felt when the anti Corbyn choice was Owen Smith and fucking Angela Eagle.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Part of me wants a fresh election now just to see if the British people really, actually have it in them to make Jeremy Corbyn PM. I don't think they do.

[Yevrah]

Ultimately, they're all awful.

You can say what you like about Blair (and most of it would be fair game), but the son of a bitch knew how to lead.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have this argument all the time with my (centrist) dad. He is a massive Blair fan because of the leadership he showed making the party electable. I say yeah that's true but it doesn't mean he wasn't a fucking wanker who ruined the country.

The advantage Jeremy has over his rivals is that he actually clearly believes in something, even though that something tends to end up with people raiding zoos for food.

[phonics]

My Mum called him a war criminal and kept shouting at the TV 'who asked you?' last time he was on Marr. I was there like :cool:

She was full on Blair and he cocked it up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My Mum spent the whole of the mid 1990s saying Tony was a disgusting money-obsessed charlatan. She used to say it every time the news came on in 1996 and John Major was floundering as I ate potato waffles. Imagine being that right for that long. I'll never accomplish that.

[John Arne]

I find this baffling



Other amendments to CMA 1990
The Serious Crime Act 2015 added a new offence (s 3ZA) of ‘unauthorised acts causing, or creating risk of, serious damage’. The territorial scope of computer misuse was also extended, meaning that a UK national is still committing an offence if the computer misuse happened outside the UK, as long as it was also illegal in the country where the hacking took place.
The Police and Justice Act 2006 added a new offence of ‘making, supplying or obtaining articles for use in offence under ss 1, 3 or 3ZA’ (s 3A).


I read it because of this

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/oct/06/uk-teenager-admits-attempt-to-hack-into-cia-computers

From a jurisdiction and "victim" point of view... the offense took place in the US (US computers were hacked), the victims are not British, or were not in the UK, nobody in UK was a victim.. how on earth is this kid facing trial in the UK... I understand why the law exists, but it baffles me that someone is being tried in the UK for crimes committed in the US, against US citizens.

EDIT: It's probably for the best, as I guess it lessens the chance of him being extradited.

[Lewis]

The old man not voting from 1992 to 2010 was a decent run (and only in 1992 because he had money on John Major), but then he broke it voting for the Liberal Democrat against David Davis and undid all of that good work.

[phonics]

I find this baffling



I read it because of this

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/oct/06/uk-teenager-admits-attempt-to-hack-into-cia-computers

From a jurisdiction and "victim" point of view... the offense took place in the US (US computers were hacked), the victims are not British, or were not in the UK, nobody in UK was a victim.. how on earth is this kid facing trial in the UK... I understand why the law exists, but it baffles me that someone is being tried in the UK for crimes committed in the US, against US citizens.

EDIT: It's probably for the best, as I guess it lessens the chance of him being extradited.

It's probably comes from the fact that the US refuse to extradite their hackers so the UK does the same thing back. Also these hackers are regularly working for us on the down low.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/mar/15/grant-shapps-admits-he-had-second-job-as-millioniare-web-marketer-while-mp

For some reason I'd never seen or known about this until Twitter started bringing it up today. Fucking lol.

[Lewis]

Despite the fact he comes across as useless every time I've seen him speak (or at least like George Osborne botched cloning himself), he is probably enough of a grubby little twat to be half-decent in a more important role, as he was when he quietly helped win the 2015 election whilst Labour was droning on about its GROUND GAME and 'Million Conversations'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's another group of people Dom Cummings napalmed in the referendum, the entire Cameroon-Gideonite set of arrogant wankers (their official spokesman now is Craig Oliver's Twitter page). They'll find it hard to 'modernise' from 42% of the vote too (unlike the 30% baseline reached under Hague) so I imagine the next decent leader is just around the corner.

[Lewis]

He seems to have deleted his Twitter. Who is going to tell everyone they're shit now?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He absolutely fascinates me. He has the dial set absolutely perfectly between mad crank and evil genius. One day he torches the entire British establishment, the next day he posts a 50,000 word blog explaining how primary schools should be run like the space programme. And then he makes 'Jo Maugham QC' seethe.

I might write a biography of him and tour it at Hay-on-Wye.

[phonics]

A whatsapp convo that ol Grant got added to has been leaked.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLdyw4IWsAA46By.jpg

[Kikó]

We ended up kicking him out.

[Bartholomert]

We ended up kicking him out.

Is this Mogg dude really this alpha:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/29/world/europe/uk-jacob-rees-mogg.html?mc=aud_dev&mcid=fb-nytimes&mccr=OctMC910&mcdt=2017-10&subid=OctMC910&ad-keywords=AudDevGate&mtrref=www.facebook.com&mtrref=undefined&gwh=2FDEF7385F093C98D0509749E5A0379F&gwt=pay

[niko_cee]

Mogg?

Really?

[phonics]

http://peterjnorth.blogspot.ch/2017/10/i-dont-like-this-brexit-but-i-will-live.html?m=1

These people are all fucking nutters. '10 year recession, wipe out the middle class but that's okay because students will learn to pull themselves up by their bootstraps'

Fucking mental.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It sounds like a Long Good Friday-style hellscape and I for one voted for just that.

Where are all the whingeing Brexit novels, by the way? It's been over a year.

[phonics]

There's loads of them but in a new style, released 140 characters at a time.

[Lewis]

Since a lot of freight will no longer be able to go through Calais we can expect a lot more use of the port at Hull so we may see an expansion in distribution centres in the North.

:cool:

[niko_cee]

What an odd piece. What perspective does he come from? Armed forces logistical corps or something?

Sadly for Hull, he's probably going to be wrong about 99% of that, but, you never know, that bit could be right.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't wait for the PIVOT NORTH. Let's move the capital to Whitby.

[phonics]

It sounds like a Long Good Friday-style hellscape and I for one voted for just that.

Where are all the whingeing Brexit novels, by the way? It's been over a year.

Boom

917730008952721408

[Lewis]

The rail links to Whitby are nonexistent, so it would have to be Leeds or York.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Scarbados will do. Ferry links to Bergen are the main thing.

[Lewis]

Scarborough is tainted with noncing, and not the acceptable 'cultural' kind, so Doncaster might have to do.

[phonics]

I decided to do a stupid thing and read the comments on a The Spectator article. Someone had a very long post about why Theresa May is a socialist.

[Pepe]

Is it because of the Frida Kahlo bracelet?

[phonics]

Is it because of the Frida Kahlo bracelet?
"May is a socialist. Building council houses, cutting tuition fees, capping energy prices, penalising landlords."

I mean outside of the fact that she hasn't done any of these things yet, I'm still not sure this makes you a socialist.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As long as you know which articles to skip (anything by James Delingpole for a start), the Spectator is the absolute best publication out there today.

[Disco]

I'd vote for anyone that advocated shooting Toby Young at dawn so avoid anything by him too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah I'm with you on that one.

'I have a controversial opinion - and here's why it's bollocks, illustrated by a vivid account of what massive cunts me and my family members all are.'

I'd pay £3 just for the Taki column though.

[phonics]

As long as you know which articles to skip (anything by James Delingpole for a start), the Spectator is the absolute best publication out there today.

It's ability to hit the nail on the head only to miss the point completely on the next page can be rather infuriating.

This was an article by Matthew Lynn who was banging on about why energy price caps are bad. He acknowledges that it might possibly be a problem (although he says it's already too hard to make money out of energy) but you'll be surprised to find out he thinks would fix it, it's the free market! Eye opening stuff there Matthew.

[Lewis]

There are probably about ten non-socialists in public life, and unfortunately I have to include Douglas Carswell in that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've decided we're not going to leave, btw. I wonder what the consequences of that will/would be.

[Disco]

A huge e-victory for Yev?

[John]

We'll probably get another consignment of water parks from Harold before he offs himself.

[SvN]

I expect a thread titled "John" to appear on The Refuge any time now.

[Lewis]

The English Civil War II, with all the prolonged aggro taking place in badlands stretching from the outskirts of Leeds to just west of Norwich.

[Shindig]

Sunderland has nowt we can knick this time.

[Lewis]

The Lincolnshire farmers are already getting ready (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-41571252) for it. The not-actually-local news took some nearby reactions, and one headcase said he was still going to walk his dog in those woods because you can't let daft shit like unsecured mustard gas stop you living your life.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Bercow giving Ian Blackford a proper telling off in front of the whole house was rather nice.

[Boydy]

As long as you know which articles to skip (anything by James Delingpole for a start), the Spectator is the absolute best publication out there today.
There's a video of James Delingpole being absolutely schooled on climate change and the scientific method by Paul Nurse but it's very hard to find online these days. I'm pretty sure he's had it taken down from everywhere he can find.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a video of James Delingpole being absolutely schooled on climate change and the scientific method by Paul Nurse but it's very hard to find online these days. I'm pretty sure he's had it taken down from everywhere he can find.

That sounds like something he would do. There was another lol story about him in which he asked to be featured on Ruth and Martin's Album Club (twitter thing which has become a book where slebs listen to famous albums for the first time) and they turned him down, and he threw a strop.

[John Arne]

That sounds like something he would do. There was another lol story about him in which he asked to be featured on Ruth and Martin's Album Club (twitter thing which has become a book where slebs listen to famous albums for the first time) and they turned him down, and he threw a strop.

Delingpole & Nurse interview....

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xp20pc

[John Arne]

What is the reference to Crewe that he is making?

[Lewis]

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/200394

:humb:

[Lewis]

'I condemn all foreign interference...'

[Shindig]

"There is some evidence ... " <cites one single source which uses the qualifier 'could'> What difference would that make when there was plenty of home-grown misinformation on the campaign trail?

Brass Eye needs a Brexit episode. With Peter O'Hanrahanhanrahan.

[Lewis]

This Jared O’Mara stuff is quite funny. Yes he said it all ages ago (although the fact he is clearly a proper moron probably negates his 'journey'), and yes I will never be Prime Minister now; but is there anything more lol in politics than the Outrage Bus taking down the sort of whoppers who normally drive it?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm no great fan of Cleggers, but I did feel for one of liberalism's most substance-free torchbearers when fate dictated he lose his seat to this pillock.

[Lewis]

Credit to the headbangers for using it in the case for mandatory re-selection as well.

[phonics]

The idea that you can never run for office if you said something stupid on the internet rules out anyone ever being elected ever again.

What did he say anyway? I only heard about the Girls Aloud orgy thing which 1) who wouldn't? 2) doesn't seem to be grounds for suspension.

[phonics]

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/theresa-may-just-u-turned-on-social-housing-policy-after?utm_term=.srR0Pz5vb#.ueyj3XwgO

At this point is Labour actually just running the country? This must be the third or fourth time I've read the story 'Labour would have won the vote so they just made it Government policy instead'

[Jimmy Floyd]

Corbyn running the country from opposition is probably a decent compromise tbh. I'll shake on it.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DM_DpjmXkAASdQE.jpg:large

lol

[Jimmy Floyd]

This sex pest spreadsheet is absolutely cracking stuff, or at least it was until I just learned that Amber Rudd is on it. Brain broken.

[phonics]

Post it up. All the people I follow are prudes who don't want to get sued.

[Lewis]

The people just having good old fashioned affairs being lumped in with the gropers is a bit sinister.

[Lewis]

I've seen it now and it is mostly meh. It's all just affairs, hush money, and non-specific claims of 'inappropriate' stuff (most of which won't come out regardless). The only potential lol is Rory Stewart (remember when he was a big noise?) ALLEGEDLY asking his researcher to do 'odd things'.

[Boydy]

Kwasi Kwarteng gets around.

[Lewis]

Someone somewhere is writing an article about how everyone having a go on him is racist.

[John Arne]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/31/labour-activist-says-she-was-raped-at-party-event-and-told-not-to-report-it


The two women both criticised the lack of proper processes for reporting their allegations, as political parties struggled with a fifth day of serious revelations about harassment and abuse in British politics.

GO TO THE POLICE.

What do people want? Every company to have a Rape Reporting Centre?

[Shindig]

If you faced harassment at work, you'd go straight down the internal route first before the police. Also, Bex Bailey's allegations sound kinda tame. "A family friend fleetingly touched my knee in a pub and then sent me a suggestive text a year later." Separate incidents a year apart, of that scale, is not harassment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To say Damian Green has this coming to him would be a massive understatement.

[phonics]

If you faced harassment at work, you'd go straight down the internal route first before the police. Also, Bex Bailey's allegations sound kinda tame. "A family friend fleetingly touched my knee in a pub and then sent me a suggestive text a year later." Separate incidents a year apart, of that scale, is not harassment.

You're conflating two different things. One person had her knee touched by an MP. Bex Bailey was raped.

[phonics]

Is PMQs today, are we going to get some really gross stuff about how one party are bigger sex pests than the other or do you think they'll try say as little as possible?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Knowing Corbz he'll do some quietly effective stuff about social care or something and literally no one other than him will pay any attention. Not for Jeremy the zeitgeist tapes.

[Lewis]

I'm not an expert or anything, but didn't Damian Green basically just ask this woman out (albeit in a lame way)? This is mental now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It has all gone a bit Robespierre, but if it means everyone will be shit scared of exhibiting seedy behaviour from now on it's probably a win.

[Lewis]

Elsewhere, £363 million a week lol what about the bus?!

[phonics]

I'm not an expert or anything, but didn't Damian Green basically just ask this woman out (albeit in a lame way)? This is mental now.

I think it's the implication of a career path if you shag him that's the objectionable bit.

[Lewis]

I missed that bit, although that sort of thing - whilst objectionable - is still well off actual sexual assault.

[phonics]

Yeah but it's definitely sexual harassment.

[phonics]

These people are such fucking idiots. The Tory spreadsheet is a PUTIN MINDGAME.

925644351748886528

Get in the sea.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Martin Kettle is one of the pundits whose previously well-functioning mind has been completely broken by Brexit.

Here he is writing his column on acid the other day: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/oct/27/protestantism-wane-reformation-brexit-martin-luther

[phonics]

Amber Rudds just gone to the big Police Do and told them to sit down, shut the fuck up and get on with their job. That's going to go down incredibly well.

[Lewis]

Yeah but it's definitely sexual harassment.

I've always understood harassment to involve a degree of persistence that takes things from twat to pest.

[Lewis]

This Arron Banks stuff has set the bed-wetters right off. I hope they do find some Russian connection just for the lol.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd best go and read The Brothers Karamazov for the 198th time and see if there are any clues.

[Lewis]

I haven't seen Ian Dunt re-tweeted into my timeline for ages. Is he alright? Anyway, I reckon Jolyon 'Jo' Maugham doing himself in is the new definition of Brexit success.

[Magic]

Fallon gone. Sexual allegations bringing the Tory cunts down? :drool:

[Lewis]

That sounds a bit drastic, so - once again - he is either daft or expecting some more stuff to come out.

[ItalAussie]

That sounds a bit drastic, so - once again - he is either daft or expecting some more stuff to come out.

That was my thought, too. It might be a case of "I'll go quietly if you bury the rest".

[phonics]

It appears Fallons going and the identity of his replacement and then the identity of his replacement has pissed everyone off it was possible to. Another win for May.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They cut the £29 a day allowance for soldiers in Iraq yesterday. I mean if you want Jeremy to seem attractive to people, just carry on doing stuff like that.

[phonics]

They cut the £29 a day allowance for soldiers in Iraq yesterday. I mean if you want Jeremy to seem attractive to people, just carry on doing stuff like that.

Look Jim, how else is the MOD supposed to pay BAE for Battleships that can't leave port because, as it turns out, it's quite hot in the Middle East?

[Magic]

Interest rates. :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

Interest rates :drool:

Northern and boomer homeowning scum can get to fuck.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNoq1CUX4AAakzN.jpg:large

Everyone seems to describe all of Theresa May's right-hand people in exactly the same way.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This seems a good time to re-read Alan Clark's diaries.


The Lady is under deep pressure now. It just won't go away. As soon as one paper goes quiet another one, or two at a time, start up.

As far as I can make out, practically every member of the Cabinet is quietly and unattributably briefing different editors or members of the lobby about how awful she is. This makes it easier for people like Peter Jenkins to say that "she has virtually lost all support in Cabinet". Malcolm Rifkind is actually quoted today as saying, "I'll be here after she's gone."

There is even talk of a coup in July. Heseltine is quite openly spoken about as the heir-presumptive, and preens himself in public.

How has all this been allowed to come about? The Community Charge has got on everyone's nerves of course, and generated the most oppressive volume of correspondence. Persistent deficits in the polls of a nearly insuperable order rattle people.

But I am inclined to think that the Party in the House has just got sick of her. She hasn't promoted her "own" people much. Her "constituency" in this place depends solely on her proven ability to win General Elections. But now this is in jeopardy she has no real Praetorian Guard to fall back on.

There's been a lot of talk about "one of us", all that, but most of them are still left to moulder at the '92 dinner table. When's the Revolution? In the meantime, all the wets and Blue Chips and general Heathite wankers, who seem ineradicable in this bloody Party, stew around and pine for her to drop dead.

My own position is affected in a number of ways - all unwelcome. My special access is less potent because, with the rest of the Cabinet more or less openly plotting their own positions, and jockeying, her disapproval counts for little. We're almost getting to the point where they are no longer afraid of her. And indeed, her sponsorship could actually be damaging.

Second, it disturbs my own plans for smooth and easy withdrawal, booking a "K" at once and a Lords ticket in the next Parliament. Will I even get my PC [privy councillor] in May? Finally, I could be faced with the ultimate hideosity of being stuck at MoD during a Heseltine "reconstruction". Should I leave immediately, or hang on for certain humiliation 48 hours later?

Oh dear. How quickly everything can change.

[Magic]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNoq1CUX4AAakzN.jpg:large

Everyone seems to describe all of Theresa May's right-hand people in exactly the same way.

What a fucking disgusting government, they can all fucking die in hell. Brexit fucking cunts.

[Lewis]

Minister of Defence is a pointless job in this day and age, and people only like it for the prestige and because they want to be seen poncing around with soldiers and looking 'tough', so anyone moaning about who is and isn't 'qualified' for it is a gimp.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All going down like dominoes tonight in both parties. I think Damian Green is going to get boshed over the weekend and then they're in all sorts.

[Lewis]

I liked Jezza literally running away from Kelvin Hopkins questions like some Cook Report fraudster.

[Lewis]

Also, lol at votes for sixteen year olds.

'They can pay tax and join the Army so...'
'But not be in a car with a smoker.'
'Yeah, well. We have to protect children.'

[phonics]

lol at Priri Patel going on holiday to Israel, bumping into Netanyahu and accidentally committing Foreign Aid money to Israeli soldiers in the Golan Heights then not mentioning it to the Foreign Office. I hate when that happens. Last time I went to Turkey I walked into a coffee shop and signed an agreement declaring an independent Kurdish state.

[phonics]

Lol Leadsoms being hounded for not reporting a rape.

Boris has got an English citizen in Iran a few more years in jail.

Patel is selling off funds to the Israelis while on her hols.

Cabinet has been cancelled. There's no point in even making Strong and Stable jokes anymore. Omnishambles would be an understatement.

[niko_cee]

It's definitely Bozza who should be the focus of criticism on that locked up woman issue. Definitely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't wait for this time next year when strong and stable Jeremy has nationalised the DIY industry and banned lamb chops.

[phonics]

I can't wait for this time next year when strong and stable Jeremy has nationalised the DIY industry and banned lamb chops.

There's four more years of this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can see that actually. Liam Fox will be starting an 800-year term in the Hague but still won't have been sacked as Secretary of State for International Trade.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A Welsh assembly member who had to resign due to groping has done himself in. Hopefully we can trace this back to Alastair Campbell in some way and add it to his body count.

[Disco]

I can see that actually. Liam Fox will be starting an 800-year term in the Hague but still won't have been sacked as Secretary of State for International Trade.

Surely we won't need one after Brexit.

[Lewis]

I don't understand this stuff about the House of Commons procedures letting rape claimants down. Why would you go to them? You can even claim for a stolen lawnmower without a police report, and yet you expect your rape claims to be dealt with by Andrea Leadsom.

[Disco]

While I agree that the police would obviously be a good idea I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your employers to do something about a crime in the workplace.

[Lewis]

What can they do until the police do anything?

[phonics]

You probably wouldn't want someone having to directly report to their accused rapist, for one.

[Lewis]

Which is why the police need to get involved, since you can't start moving people around on unreported (officially) accusations.

[Pepe]

It all ends in the Title IX lolfest.

[Pepe]

http://positivemoney.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/pasted-image-0.png

[Henry]

Hardly a surprise that people don't understand the monetary system. This stuff should probably be in schools.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you wanted to make kids jump off cliffs en masse through boredom, maybe.

[Giggles]

Because school is crazy interesting as it is.

[Henry]

Kids are hardly salivating at the thought of learning trigonometry and what the French for "cat" is, are they?

But yeah, let's just have them play FIFA and watch movies all day instead.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's always been this clamour to teach children facts. It's nonsense. What we should be doing is stretching their brains with abstract subjects (maths, science and languages are all great for this), not telling them how to wash up.

[Henry]

I suppose that's the history syllabus out the window entirely then.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOGnBI0X0AAKukd.jpg:large

Is this womans only job to talk to the Israelis?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I suppose that's the history syllabus out the window entirely then.

You can teach history in the abstract. Get them thinking about why things happened, rather than what things happened. We probably do that better than we used to.

[Henry]

You can teach history in the abstract. Get them thinking about why things happened, rather than what things happened. We probably do that better than we used to.

I find that it's difficult to analyse the causes of the Cold War without knowing quite a lot of facts about it. Things go hand in hand.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah but at least they're thinking about a remote topic in a way that will develop their brain. So many times I hear about the idea school time should be wasted on how to budget your income and how to boil pasta, ideas that fundamentally misunderstand what education is about.

And don't even start me on 'PHSE'.

[Henry]

Well of course. Fuck that. But I don't think some understanding of economics is in the same category - and being boring isn't really an excuse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I did economics A level and it was pretty interesting in teaching you concepts, without resorting to bullshit about central banking and leveraged bonds etc etc.

I mean economics is a fictional subject but at least it has educational value in the way I described above.

[phonics]

Even as someone who never did Economics in school due to an administrative error (once you get into 9th grade, you're supposed to rotate humanities to learn what you want to specialise in and I got put in Geography twice and History once) I find it odd that you don't even get a choice.

edit: Apparently you do according to Jims post?

[Henry]

I did economics A level and it was pretty interesting in teaching you concepts, without resorting to bullshit about central banking and leveraged bonds etc etc.

I mean economics is a fictional subject but at least it has educational value in the way I described above.

The way it's taught is more or less calculated to further the nonsensical doctrines that the ruling classes like. It's no wonder that the public is so uninformed.

[Lewis]

There is always History to learn about the alternatives.

[phonics]

Government caves again. MPs will vote yes or no on the EU deal. What is the point in trying to show a tough negotiating position to Europe if you don't think you can govern domestically.

This is why year after year we got absolutely duffed up when we were in the EU because the current lot of the past 15 years or so are horrendously bad politicians. From Cameron aligning MEP votes with the 'opposition' parties like the Polish right to now, an absolute shambles.

[Lewis]

All that mega stuff we got donned and missed out on.

[niko_cee]

Has it been difficult to pass 'Brexit' legislation yet?

When is the emboldened Jeremy going to stake his colours to the remain mast he so obviously doesn't believe in? You'd have thought he'd be more interested in winning a general election. Doesn't polling in Brexit sensitive areas essentially suggest the great unwashed still want out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nothing has changed since the referendum. Jezza probably doesn't want to be PM, not immediately anyway, whichever way he swung on Brexit would be interpreted as a massive betrayal either by the coffee sippers or the Tetley's sippers.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOoCFaTWsAIOP-5.jpg:large

lol

[Jimmy Floyd]

You could hold a cocktail party inside Oliver Heald's suit jacket.

[Byron]

Has the Daily Mail re-run it's ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE headline yet?

[phonics]

Did anyone watch the labour documentary? Fucking boring but Stephen Kinnock having to be PR coached by his Mum while sounding like he'd just been nailed by a tire iron got a proper LOL.

[phonics]

932733751037255680

Incredible stuff.

[Boydy]

I see loads of MPs are happily admitting to breaking the most basic of IT security protocols on Twitter.

:D

Idiots.

[phonics]

Context?

edit: lol that clip of Kinnock is still brilliant. What a mong.

[Boydy]

I think Nadine Dorries started it in defence of Damien Green by saying all her staffers (including fucking interns) have her login details to use and when she gets time to sit down at her own desk she often has to ask what her username and password is to log in. Then a load more chimed in saying they do the same.

[phonics]

The "We're all hilariously outdated and should be fired" is a compelling argument to make, I must say.

[Boydy]

Cba to find the actual Dorries tweet but there's some replies here:

https://twitter.com/JamesClayton5/status/937395948535320576

[Jimmy Floyd]

The desperation by a range of politicians and journos to clear Green's name is quite funny, and eerily reminiscent of the desperation to clear Andrew Mitchell's name that time he called a policeman a pleb outside Downing Street. The common denominator is of course the cops doing the dirty on them on both occasions. God forbid anyone from the scum classes without an Oxbridge education should get involved in anything.

[Raoul Duke]

With this IT stuff, it's mostly the way they don't even fucking understand what the problem is, and then act like cunts when people call them retards for doing it.

Why are they all bending over backwards for this porn guy? Who is he and why are they so insistent that he shouldn't be croaked? Is this just the case now where there's literally no recourse for improper behaviour?

[Byron]

The funniest thing was the suggestion that someone other than Green was using his computer. Well sorry mate, but if that's your defence then leaving your computer (and therefore all your work/emails etc.) in the hands of an intern should see you sacked for incompetence.

[Lewis]

Whether or not he should be watching grumble at work, I think most people object to how the police (or at least police) have dealt with every aspect of it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All's fair in love and war.

[Lewis]

Speaking of which, the LABOUR PURGE is back and I find it all very, very lol.

[Henry]

Your asses are being kicked on Brexit, it would appear. Having caved on the exit fee they've now caved on the Irish border as well.

"No divergence of the rules covering the EU single market and customs union on the island of Ireland post Brexit."

The DUP will go ape but there's no way they're going to put Corbyn in Number 10 by bringing the Tory government down.

Not often I commend the stance of an Irish government.

[Byron]

To be honest I'm not sure how it could have gone any other way. You can't have a technological border and you can't have a physical one so the best border was always going to be the North Sea. Plus Northern Ireland voted to remain anyway so this kind of gives them what they want.

Lol at the DUP though. Just try bringing down the Tories, the sight of Corbyn in No.10 would cause your heads to explode.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Literally no one on the Island of Great Britain gives the first shit about Northern Ireland at any time other than when their dissident Catholics are bombing us, so I don't see the problem of arming the Isle of Man to the teeth and building a giant sea fortress to destroy any ships passing down from Ullapool.

[phonics]

GS getting stuck with EU regulation gives me a good hearty lol. Nice vote mate.

[Shindig]

I'd join in that but he hasn't posted in six weeks. :uhoh:

[phonics]

Overdosed on sovereignty

[Henry]

As predicted, the DUP have come out saying that they can't be having it.

United Ireland in five years. :drool:

[Disco]

Take it on one condition, everyone shuts up about the damn place forever more.

[Byron]

Or rather, a minority Tory government limping on for another 4 years before GLORIOUS COMRADE CORBYN takes charge.

[Giggles]

I really wanted that border.

[Shindig]

Nope. Sectarianism is too grass roots to pull that together.

[Disco]

Either that or Oirland can take Scotlands place in the Union. Better together and all that.

[phonics]

Right, so far I've got a list of places/people that want a different deal from what the rest of the country gets; Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, London, Cornwall, the Finance Industry, the Automobile Industry, the Fishing Industry.

Anyone else want in on the list? At this rate Brexit will mean Brexit for Gateshead and not much else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol at Sadiq embarrassing himself.

[Lewis]

It's hard to tell what this means, but if Northern Ireland is forced to track European regulations then the Conservative Party should replace her this weekend.

[Henry]

It's hard to tell what this means, but if Northern Ireland is forced to track European regulations then the Conservative Party should replace her this weekend.

:harold:

I think the idea is that the details will be taken care of later (in the trade negotiations) but yeah, it's difficult to see how this would work in practice. Who is going to vote that legislation through continually? And what if they don't?

[McAvennie]

Right, so far I've got a list of places/people that want a different deal from what the rest of the country gets; Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, London, Cornwall, the Finance Industry, the Automobile Industry, the Fishing Industry.

Anyone else want in on the list? At this rate Brexit will mean Brexit for Gateshead and not much else.

You can add the scientific community and pharma to that

[Giggles]

Either that or Oirland can take Scotlands place in the Union. Better together and all that.

Took us long enough to shake off you pillaging cunts.

[Boydy]

More on Nadine Dorries:

937635829454909445

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Took us long enough to shake off you pillaging cunts.

if it wasn't for us you'd be speaking Irish.

[Giggles]

if it wasn't for us you'd be speaking Irish.

Even a broken stick has some uses.

[Lewis]

:harold:

I think the idea is that the details will be taken care of later (in the trade negotiations) but yeah, it's difficult to see how this would work in practice. Who is going to vote that legislation through continually? And what if they don't?

If it's just a formalising of what would go on anyway - each side having to abide by the other's standards to trade within it (as you would trading with Japan) - in order to avoid having to search every van going either way then that is sensible; but, as you say, it is not even practical to just absorb everything Europe decides, let alone acceptable to anyone who voted on sovereignty grounds.

[Giggles]

What happens now anyway? Presumably even if May goes through with the agreement, the Klan have the power to pull out their support of her government and collapse it to an election?

[niko_cee]

I quite like the deputy DUP guy that's been going about rolling his eyes at the various dense journalists interviewing him for the past few weeks.

Isn't the idea of leaving a bit of the UK within the EU (and hence having access to all of it's advantages?) whilst the rest is 'out' and can get on with shit like trade deals with wherever a massive bit of 'cherry picking'? Every major bank to be in Belfast within 5 years etc. Obviously, that's not how the spin runs, as was the case with the £100bn bill that was only EVER going to be what it is (no one knows). The whole island of Ireland needs unfettered access to the 'internal market of the United Kingdom' which will continue to be the case once they fudge whatever trade deal they end up with.

[Giggles]

There was a DUP guy on the radio here the other day, who was that embarrassing that I thought it was a comedian just taking him off and being extra stupid at one stage. Whoever voted for him should be ashamed of themselves allowing someone as thick into a position of power.

[Magic]

Giggles makes me squirt.

[phonics]

lol the RAF have banned Phil Hammond from taking any of their planes due to 'unpaid bills'.

There's no department more petty than the MoD.

[phonics]

938439816831696896

lol

[Disco]

...in one of Parliaments booziest bars

Do fuck off.

[Henry]

How many bars does Parliament have? I quite like the one across the street with the green chairs and the reminder bells that ring when it's time to vote.

[phonics]

How many bars does Parliament have? I quite like the one across the street with the green chairs and the reminder bells that ring when it's time to vote.

Inside the house? 3 IIRC. One is MPs, one staffers and one both.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Staffer' is the worst word ever. It must be American surely.

Most MP aides and politicos have wet dreams about being part of the Bartlet regime so they've probably imported it from that.

[phonics]

Leave.EU are very mad because we're basically going to be Canada. Love reading the replies.

939028347790561281

[Jimmy Floyd]

We voted to 'leave the European Union'. Nothing else.

Being Canada without the fucking snow, or tedious 'First Peoples', isn't so bad.

[Henry]

I'm glad that they got a deal, but it sounds like a bit of a fudge. And how the fuck does she sell it to the Tory party?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know why fudge gets such a bad rep, I bloody love fudge.

She'll sell it to the Tory party by screaming JEREMY CORBYN at the top of her voice from the roof of number ten.

I don't ruled out May, despite being a fucking useless, vacuous witch, going on to become one of the great survivors of British politics.

[Giggles]

No border :(

[Lewis]

They did go into government with the actual IRA (as opposed to the North London branch) when it suited them, so I think the Jeremy Corbyn factor is somewhat overstated. We're on much more reliable ground depending on them being good Protestants. As for this stuff, it will make sense and work if there is a trade agreement (of sorts) at the end of it; but if there isn't then it won't.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I meant the Peter Bone types will be scared off by the Corbyn factor, not the Orange Order.

[Lewis]

I suppose a Maastricht-style last stand is out of the question when the Labour 'moderates' would just side with the government.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I were them, I would take anything that involves actually leaving with both hands.

[niko_cee]

And lo, nothing really changed, but everything changed.

It's a contingent fudge based on agreeing a free trade agreement at some indeterminate point in the future whilst essentially remaining in indefinitely until that point.

It's almost as if the whole plan is being executed by people who didn't want to leave in the first place.

I know it won't be sold as such, but isn't this a bit of a climb down from the EU seeing the UK isn't really committed to anything and can walk away with it's ever shrinking divorce bill billions as and when no trade agreement can be reached (bankrupting the EU in the process).

[Giggles]

Won't the forrins (which was about 99.9% of the reason people voted for the exit) be able to head on in from here to NI and then get a boat to Britain without any checks then, or am I missing something? And if I'm not, what's the point then?

[phonics]

People won't be able to but goods will.

[Giggles]

People won't be able to but goods will.

So do they start checking passports going from Belfast to Scotland on the boat? Because currently they don't.

[Spikey M]

We’re paying £40,000,000,000 to ‘leave’ but keep all the laws and regulations and have zero say in any new ones? Great deal, Tez.

[Spikey M]

Turns out the DUP deal still isn’t enough to get shit done. :harold:

[Magic]

Corbyn in. :drool:

[Spikey M]

CorbIN!

[Jimmy Floyd]

Corbyn would be a lot better off keeping his powder dry, you don't want to be in power for this. Whichever way you turn, you face an uprising either from the smug cunt intelligentsia or the pitchfork-wielding untermensch, both of whose votes he desperately needs.

[Spikey M]

Nah. We need more mess. If we’re going down, let’s do it with hilarity.

[McAvennie]

We’re paying £40,000,000,000 to ‘leave’ but keep all the laws and regulations and have zero say in any new ones? Great deal, Tez.

That's about the shape of it, except it won't be £40billion, it's going to end up being way more than that

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQ9xsIUWAAIJhfq.jpg

Best way to get yourself publicity is to vote against the thing. Do it and get your face all over the front pages and have at least 45% of the country agree with you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think the problem is they're the most ultra-pro-EU people in the party, so trying to dress it up as 'respect for Parliament' is a lie - they want to stay in at all costs but are not prepared to be honest about it.

[phonics]

lol at the Tory's calling for deselections after saying Corbyn's lot looking for deselections was a COMMUNIST PURGE.

https://i.imgur.com/oSTcbSG.png
https://i.imgur.com/6xnQykK.png

edit: The Guido Fawkes comments section is so weird. The average age must be about 73.

[Giggles]

Is this actually news or just the papers making news out of anything they can? Like, is the brexit cancelled or something?

[Kikó]

What a disgrace the daily mail is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Daily Mail may be a disgrace but it's only doing what all papers are doing, literally anything to sell copies because the industry is dying.

[phonics]

That would be a convincing argument if the online section that makes a bunch of money wasn't exactly the same. Paul Dacre's just a cunt, a cunt that thinks his paper is making enough to double his salary this year.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The online section makes money (if it does) with celeb nipple slips and pictures of dogs wearing silly outfits, it's not a newspaper.

[phonics]

The online section makes money (if it does)

It makes absolutely loads. They had a 15% drop in revenue this year and still came up millions in the green. Revenue was 572 million for MailOnline in 2015...

edit: Whoops that was the whole DMGT group combined. 119m for MailOnline.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why doesn't the Guardian or Telegraph then? Not enough bikini pictures and biscuits that look like John Travolta.

[phonics]

Why doesn't the Guardian or Telegraph then? Not enough bikini pictures and biscuits that look like John Travolta.

The Guardian went for internal advertising to create revenue, Guardian Masterclasses et al.

Whereas the Mail do this:
https://i.imgur.com/EdEe30w.png

When they're not making money off those basic banner ads, comments system and shares. They're selling column inches to PR companies to be posted through their Facebook etc.

And think about it, I'm in Switzerland and I have targeted company ads to my location. That means they're selling specific ads in countries all over the world which brings in far more money than generics.

[Lewis]

Yesterday was about the least important thing ever, and, if anything, actually increases the likelihood of the dream NO DEAL scenario. Labour have probably shot themselves in the foot as well since they now have to pick an actual side, rather than pretending just attacking the Conservative Party and calling it a Brexit policy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's reassuring. I might have breakfast sausage for lunch instead of the usual chorizo.

[Lewis]

Nice to see Remain Twitter revelling in parliamentary supremacy though. If only we could have more of it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Remain Twitter (or Twitter, as it's otherwise known) wanted Parliament to use its supremacy to vote down the result of the 'advisory' referendum, so they'll be batting for it right up until we actually leave.

[Henry]

The more comical the Daily Heil gets, the less credibility it has. Why aren't they realising this? Their abuse of Corbyn obviously did not have the intended effect at the election.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mail readers voted 74% Tory / 15% Labour at the election, so it probably did.

Grauniad 73 Lab, 12 LD, 8 Con. lol.

[Henry]

Mail readers voted 74% Tory / 15% Labour at the election, so it probably did.


How did they vote at elections prior to that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know, but logic suggests it would have been a lot more for Labour in the late 90s and 2000s when the paper was telling them to vote Labour.

EDIT: Not telling them to vote Labour, I've misremembered, but Dacre was pro-Brown. The Sun was Labour between 1997-2009.

[Henry]

I don't know, but logic suggests it would have been a lot more for Labour in the late 90s and 2000s when the paper was telling them to vote Labour.

EDIT: Not telling them to vote Labour, I've misremembered, but Dacre was pro-Brown. The Sun was Labour between 1997-2009.

Well, this (https://www.theguardian.com/media/greenslade/2015/jun/08/newspaper-reader-election-ukip-express-sun-mail-telegraph)says that it was 59/14 in 2015 (with the main difference being that UKIP votes went to the Tories in 2017) so the proportion of Heil readers who voted for Labour slightly increased after Corbyn took over.

Then again, they labelled Ed Milliband a communist too.

[phonics]

941326603094765569

lol

[Lofty]

If May hadn’t called a snap election the government would’ve passed that last night by one vote (assuming the 13 seats she lost voted with the government of course). Saboteurs crushed indeed.

[Lewis]

941787001573068800

I don't know whether that is from tonight, but :lol: all the same.

EDIT: It is tonight (https://twitter.com/StarSports_Bet/status/941784315301679104). Jesus.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That might single-handedly bring blacking up back into vogue.

[Magic]

David Davis cut short a crucial BREXIT meeting with EU people to go and meet that cunt that edits the Daily Cunt.

Bastard.

[Lewis]

That might single-handedly bring blacking up back into vogue.

What's amazing about it is that the geezer is politically-aware enough to have come up with the idea, and yet still has the balls to go through with it.

[Kikó]

The numbers gag is nice and subtle as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm lolling a lot at the #FBPE thing which has sprung up on Remain Twitter. This is why you lost, gringos.

[Lewis]

I still lol at 'saboteur' in profiles. You're a lecturer, mate. Blow up a railway and we'll talk.