UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I spent five minutes playing 'Say as many racist things as possible in five minutes' I don't think I'd come up with 'funny tinge'. Fair play to her.

[phonics]

Jaysus.

[Pepe]

:D

[Spikey M]

It says something about where I am with politics that there are more 'sides' to take than ever before yet I'm still on none of them.

I don't want Chuka's fucking 'everything was fine before 2015' position. Corbyn's 'I hate Europe but I'm going to pretend I both do/don't depending on who's asking' is just fucking idiotic and on the other side of the idiot ship, Chris Graylings still got a job in the cabinet despite having less synapses firing off in his brain than a particularly malnourished root vegetable.

I've been politically homeless since Nick Clegg was, well, Nick Clegg. You get used to it.

[Spikey M]

1097483458291658752

:lol:

That is spectacular :D

[Lewis]

The fact none of them have called by-elections is revealing. Would they all lose? I would assume so without bothering to check their majorities. Still, fair dos for going through with it like. With any luck a few pinko Conservatives can be flushed out as well.

[Henry]

Not only that but they intend to abandon their constituencies at the next election apparently.

[Lewis]

To do what?

[Boydy]

I heard they're going to go stand in marginals.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You'd have to think that at least Umunna and one or two of the others would have some chance of winning as an independent. Chuka is just this generation's James Purnell, though, so he'll probably be running 6 Music within the decade.

[Gray Fox]

Luciana Berger is a great one here. She's the ex-Labour MP from where I grew up and was voted in with a 79.6% share of the vote, but from what I hear from home she's been shite and has been wanted gone for a little while.

The best part of all of this is she faced a vote of no confidence in her only a week ago, however it was called off at the actual meeting as she and the would-be replacement decided it was best to have party unity in the face of the conservatives. A week later she does this. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon actual Margaret Thatcher would get elected in Liverpool with a 60+% share if she ran on the Labour ticket.

The issue with Berger though is that her leader hasn't defended her against anti-Semitism.

[Lewis]

You'd have to think that at least Umunna and one or two of the others would have some chance of winning as an independent. Chuka is just this generation's James Purnell, though, so he'll probably be running 6 Music within the decade.

Is Tom Watson the last of those twats still standing? I ask because I tried to find forgotten comparisons for them all, got as far as Chris Leslie/Sion Simon, and then decided my life would be better off not reading up on who and what 'Gavin Shuker' is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Talk that some wet Tories might join the Independent Group. Poor old Lib Dems.

[Lewis]

So wet they're drowning.

[Henry]

I'm seeing a lot of complaints about anti-Semitism in Labour and not much actual anti-Semitism. Is this just moaning about not being entirely in line with Israel or is there actually anything to it?

[niko_cee]

The hard left have always been a bit that way inclined, but most of this is a convenient front to attack the Dear Leader on. It's bullshit, but it's bullshit that should probably have been handled a lot better. In the modern age there is no other way to deal with outrage than unconditional compliance with whatever the mob wants, not some nuanced argument about why you aren't paying complete reverence to whatever the International Anti-Holocaust mob deem to be antisemitism.

[niko_cee]

Soubry, Wollaston and Heidi Allen have joined THE GROUP.

I've not heard of the last one, but presumably the first two had about as much chance of standing as a Conservative at the next election as I do.

[Shindig]

Could they not just switch to Lib Dems and at least try to give them some substance? Standing on their own, it's just a bunch of women (and token men) doing something nobody's going to notice in a week.

[Disco]

If Nick Clegg decides to flush him and his mates down the political u-bend you don't jump into the bowl as soon as the water settles. You get your own toilet, so to speak.

[phonics]

Shindig, what is your problem with women? It's really fucking weird. Like, see a therapist levels of weird.

[Shindig]

It just seems an unnecessary step over something like Brexit. We were never going to come out of negotiations favourably and the EU could not let us go lightly. May comes out of it looking useless but at least she's willing to take the bullet. If it wasn't her, it'd be some other cunt being hit with exactly the same shit.

EDIT: It's not a problem with women. Just that the ones moving all seem to be women.

[phonics]

It just seems an unnecessary step over something like Brexit. We were never going to come out of negotiations favourably and the EU could not let us go lightly. May comes out of it looking useless but at least she's willing to take the bullet. If it wasn't her, it'd be some other cunt being hit with exactly the same shit.

EDIT: It's not a problem with women. Just that the ones moving all seem to be women.

It's just under 50%... Seriously, come to terms with your way of thinking. It'll do you good.

[Shindig]

You've lost me. Are you talking about Jesus?

[Boydy]

Shindig, what is your problem with women? It's really fucking weird. Like, see a therapist levels of weird.

Shincel.

[Spikey M]

Milo of the North.

[Shindig]

Doesn't really have the same ring. There's only so much you can do, really. Props for trying, though.

[niko_cee]

Here you go Henry (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47312006)

That's the threshold for antisemitism. Accusing Israel of murder, as they, err, bring about the deaths of 174 people.

[Lewis]

The theme of most of it seems to be associating British Jews with Israel and/or Jews elsewhere, which is pretty classic anti-Semitism.

[mikem]

Isn’t the threshold that he seems to think non-Israeli Jews have to publicly demonstrate “their humanity”? Do Brits with Saudi origin have to condemn Saudi bad acts to show they properly fit into society? Shall all of us non-Isreali Jews just get some special tattoos to show we oppose Isreal’s occupation? If not, are we Zionists and need to be watched for our dual loyalties?

[Lewis]

Basically yes. Tattoos might be a bit drastic though. A badge should suffice.

[Henry]

The theme of most of it seems to be associating British Jews with Israel and/or Jews elsewhere, which is pretty classic anti-Semitism.

Well, that's fair enough. It's not the worse thing I've ever heard but that bloke probably crossed a line.

But - is even that kind of thing really as common as is being made out by the Corbyn-bashers?

[phonics]

That's a bit of an impossible question isn't it? How common does it have to be to be equivalent?

[mikem]

Well, that's fair enough. It's not the worse thing I've ever heard but that bloke probably crossed a line.

But - is even that kind of thing really as common as is being made out by the Corbyn-bashers?

Isn’t the question “Where you naturally able to see it in the link Niko sent before Lewis and I pointed it out in two different fashions?”

If no, shouldn’t the assumption be that Labour is simply missing it because they are being defensive.

Isn’t that the standard those of us on the left hold Tories and Republicans to? Shouldn’t we hold ourselves to the same? Or should we be as dismissive as they are because it is politically convenient?

[Spikey M]

I'm seeing a lot of complaints about anti-Semitism in Labour and not much actual anti-Semitism. Is this just moaning about not being entirely in line with Israel or is there actually anything to it?

Well another one has left today citing Antisemitism as his reason. How many have to leave before you would consider your Dear Leaders sentiments on our Jewish friends?

[phonics]

Well another one has left today citing Antisemitism as his reason. How many have to leave before you would consider your Dear Leaders sentiments on our Jewish friends?

He was also saying that he hated Corbyn and he was going to leave before any of this came up so let's not take everyone at face value, eh?

[Spikey M]

Apart from J-Corbz.

[phonics]

I've definitey never taken anything Mr. 'I definitely voted remain *wink wink*' Corbyn said at face value.

[phonics]

1098727439902097409

My word, it's beyond satire. "We don't have policies, we have shared values." might be the end of politics as I know it.

[Boydy]

The problems are bad but their causes... their causes are very good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Without wanting to be all PollsSnake, YouGov have just reported this:

Con 36
Lab 23
Tiggers 18
LD 6

I'm a big believer in polls being right (because they basically always are), but that can't be right.

[Lewis]

It looks like shite, but lol at the Liberal Democrats.

[Giggles]

What's Tiggers?

[niko_cee]

Scotch Nats? Ah no, The Independent Groupers.

With Corbyn being manoeuvred towards a second referendum position there must be some part of the Conservative political apparatus that now wants a general election, particularly with those poll numbers.

[niko_cee]

I see the deselection hitman has fallen foul of the antisemitism crisis.

lol

[Lewis]

I am gutted - just gutted - that the Sunderland to London Brexit march won't be coming through my area. Could have made a day of it like when the Olympic torch does its rounds.

[ItalAussie]

I've seen a bunch of "Brexit might be delayed" headlines, but is there actually a mechanism to make that happen?

It sounds more like people who jumped out of a plane trying to vote over when they hit the ground.

[Spikey M]

The EU have nothing to lose by allowing it. If they say no, it's 'No Deal'. If they say yes, then the UK will bumble fuck along and potentially hold another referendum.

[niko_cee]

I've seen a bunch of "Brexit might be delayed" headlines, but is there actually a mechanism to make that happen?

It sounds more like people who jumped out of a plan trying to vote over when they hit the ground.

The UK can unilaterally revoke the Article 50 process.

Delay is a bit more consensual, but, as Spikey says, even with President Biscuit's lolworthy proclamations, the EU aren't going to 'non' the UK into a DISASTROUS NO DEAL BREXIT.

[Lewis]

Maybe not deliberately, but they aren't going to just give us three more months to fuck about either, so you could see them wanting some stupid concession/development that won't fly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

May will get a (shit) deal through unless there is more defection DRAMA or the parliamentary arithmetic changes for some other reason.

[phonics]

I've had that meeting with the British Embassy on what my rights are going to be delayed 3 times since I moaned about it. Whatever this deal is, it's absolutely mental to me that it seems that after being absolutely desperate to put this deadline on it for political reasons/a really shit hardball tactic. At least 90% of the system has literally no idea what it means if it does pass and even less clue if it doesn't.

I live in Switzerland making it twice as complicated as I have no idea whether literally any of the bilateral stuff in the Swiss-EU deal is even applicable in this deal. If it doesn't the Student Loan Company can chase me down.

[Lewis]

Going back through the thread, I said they should have chucked her as soon as they agreed to that 'backstop' disgrace, so I think that that officially makes me and space cadet Andrew Lilico the toppest Brexit lads.

[phonics]

Going back through the thread, I said they should have chucked her as soon as they agreed to that 'backstop' disgrace, so I think that that officially makes me and space cadet Andrew Lilico the toppest Brexit lads.

I remember you giving May a few :cool:'s back in the day which, no matter the time period, renders any of that void. Like when GS said Cameron was one of the greatest PM's of all time, there's just no coming back.

[Lewis]

Her various big Brexit speeches were all sound. As with Gordon Brown, the full details (not even that, since there will be loads of lol shit in the inner circle memoirs to come) of what a complete and utter mong she is have emerged too late. The most pathetic election campaign in history should have been a clue, but I was too busy getting high on the Williamites coming to the rescue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The po-lice have been consistently hating her since 2010, so it's nice to see the British Bobby (and their slightly unsettling Twitter community) proven right again.

[phonics]

The po-lice have been consistently hating her since 2010, so it's nice to see the British Bobby (and their slightly unsettling Twitter community) proven right again.

Reading this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_Office_under_Theresa_May

I'm not sure I could find a single thing in there that would be described as popular outside of deporting Abu Qatada.

[ItalAussie]

How would you guys deal with the Irish border, out of curiosity?

It is typical that you spent decades solving that whole situation, and now look like you might unsolve it again.

[Spikey M]

I stand by my 'just leave and do nothing about the border' argument. Just leave it open. Let the EU fuck about with it if they want a hot potato.

[Boydy]

How would you guys deal with the Irish border, out of curiosity?

It is typical that you spent decades solving that whole situation, and now look like you might unsolve it again.

Irish unification.

[Giggles]

Thankfully any such notion would be shut down from the Irish side, on the unlikely chance it had legs on the Northern Irish side.

The best way is a hard border. Just like that have all over the world.

[niko_cee]

I always assumed a national poll on the whole island would break largely on religious lines, would that not be the case?

[Giggles]

I always assumed a national poll on the whole island would break largely on religious lines, would that not be the case?

It's modern times. People are all too aware of how much of a money sink that NI is and how bereft of industry it is. There's also the matter of how much of our own heritage that would need to be given up to accommodate loyalists (or try to - you'd never be able to really) and you'd basically be starting all over again. Romantic notions are dying and people realise they are happy with the Ireland they have for the most part.

Even in NI, you'd be surprised at how many Catholic 'nationalists' would vote to stay in the Union once they seen how it would hit their bank balances.

[Spikey M]

Thankfully any such notion would be shut down from the Irish side, on the unlikely chance it had legs on the Northern Irish side.

The best way is a hard border. Just like that have all over the world.

A border with quick crossing for anyone with a UK or Republic passport would possibly work.

[Boydy]

It's modern times. People are all too aware of how much of a money sink that NI is and how bereft of industry it is. There's also the matter of how much of our own heritage that would need to be given up to accommodate loyalists (or try to - you'd never be able to really) and you'd basically be starting all over again. Romantic notions are dying and people realise they are happy with the Ireland they have for the most part.

Even in NI, you'd be surprised at how many Catholic 'nationalists' would vote to stay in the Union once they seen how it would hit their bank balances.

In December 2016 RTE's Claire Byrne Live/ Amárach Research panel asked 'Is it time for a united Ireland?' Forty-six percent of those asked said yes while 32% said no and 22% said that they didn't know,. Support was highest among those aged 25–34 with 54% saying yes.[86]

From here - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Ireland

And as to the point about Catholics in NI voting for the union because they're materially better off in it, while that might have been true before, it won't be after Brexit.

[Giggles]

In December 2016 RTE's Claire Byrne Live/ Amárach Research panel asked 'Is it time for a united Ireland?' Forty-six percent of those asked said yes while 32% said no and 22% said that they didn't know,. Support was highest among those aged 25–34 with 54% saying yes.[86]

From here - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Ireland

And as to the point about Catholics in NI voting for the union because they're materially better off in it, while that might have been true before, it won't be after Brexit.

Wait until an actual campaign starts if there was to be an actual vote. That 32% would be 60 after a week once a few truths arrive.

[Spikey M]

It would be pretty lol if the war kicked off again because both sides - understandably - don't want the gaff.

[Lewis]

If Northern Ireland wants to join the Irish then whatever. I like to consider myself pretty STAUNCH, but you can't stop them, and keeping them sweet isn't worth remaining in the European Union.

We want to stick a normal border up and start doing everything we can to undercut the Irish economy.

[Spikey M]

Isn't that just creating a decent stout that costs less than a tenner?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can you be a 'staunch' anything other than socialist or unionist?

[Lewis]

Socialists tend to be 'proud' these days, as if they have achieved something, like Roddy Piper in They Live but with Zionists.

[ItalAussie]

Can you be a 'staunch' anything other than socialist or unionist?

If someone was described as a 'staunch' conservative, I would immediately peg them as a member of an old wealthy family, but not the main heir. So they had to go out and get one of their parent's mates to give them a pointless position in an investment firm where they knock around for 20 years coining money, before getting out, going into politics, and launching into spirited defences of the aristocratic system at any opportunity. A conservative who values tradition even over "principle", if you will.

[igor_balis]

I rarely talk politics on here because I think I'd just find it frustrating and upsetting as I like and respect most of the right-wing people on here, and you're better at debating things than me, but I'm finding politics quite depressing at the moment.

It's not so much the right-wing establishment attacking Corbyn cus like, that's what they're supposed to do. It's the mad Blairite dinosaurs. Ages ago now obviously, but I saw a clickbaity article in the fucking NEW STATESMAN about Corbz looking SCRUFFY AND DISHEVELED in his raincoat at the cenotaph. Like, what the fuck are you up to lads? What are you actually hoping to achieve?

And the fucking centrist liberal celeb elite, fuck sake. I mean there is the possibility that Jeremy Corbyn really is a Jew hating danger to our country and I'm just a total idiot, but for now I'm sticking with my opinion that the likes of Richard Osman and J K Rowling are total fucking dunces.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We really need someone quite radical to come along and shake things up. I don't mean radical in the sense of nationalising paperclips and the other dreary 100 year old ideas put forward by Corbyn's drab-left position, I mean someone to actually chuck some middle fingers around and do something maverick that no one has thought of yet.

Someone will come along when we're least expecting it.

[Disco]

Not the old or the new but some kind of....third way.

[Boydy]

We really need someone quite radical to come along and shake things up. I don't mean radical in the sense of nationalising paperclips and the other dreary 100 year old ideas put forward by Corbyn's drab-left position, I mean someone to actually chuck some middle fingers around and do something maverick that no one has thought of yet.

Someone will come along when we're least expecting it.

Like what exactly?

[Jimmy Floyd]

'that no one has thought of yet'

[Spikey M]

Can you be a 'staunch' anything other than socialist or unionist?

Atheist.

[Queenslander]

Im a dirt bag lefty these days. The right are too far gone with religion and syphoning off tax payers money. PNG is currently laundering billions of our money through our off shore detention scam.

[Spikey M]

The Aussie right is as mental as the US Right, so you don't really have much of an option.

[Queenslander]

The Aussie right is as mental as the US Right, so you don't really have much of an option.

Willing to die on a hill that defends a convicted pedo is worse than the US surely?

[Spikey M]

Do you think Trump would be evicted from the White House if they found out he was a nonce? I reckon he'd survive a fucking nuclear winter at this point.

[Queenslander]

Yeah true. Our right wing nutters really are in the minority over here.

[niko_cee]

The Aussies really get a poor choice with their politics, with the added kicker they have to choose them all the time.

Institutionalised corruption, or, well, the other side.

Or, I suppose, the Nick Xenephon "What have you got for South Australia?" Independent mob. Is he still going?

[Queenslander]

The Aussies really get a poor choice with their politics, with the added kicker they have to choose them all the time.

Institutionalised corruption, or, well, the other side.

Or, I suppose, the Nick Xenephon "What have you got for South Australia?" Independent mob. Is he still going?

Nah he went balls deep on his own brand for a SA state election and got lolled out.


The Greens are the only choice for me at the next election.

[Lewis]

The time is right for a 'Big Mal' comeback. Revving up the boys in Canberra, flushing out the dickheads.

[Queenslander]

The time is right for a 'Big Mal' comeback. Revving up the boys in Canberra, flushing out the dickheads.

I saw Mal at servo on the way up the coast and fuck me he is such an intimidating bloke.

[Lewis]

Exactly. He has unfinished business in politics. First order of business, lay Glenn Lazarus out.

[Queenslander]

Exactly. He has unfinished business in politics. First order of business, lay Glenn Lazarus out.

Lazo is long gone from politics after it was revealed that he cant spell his own name.

[Lewis]

Is Clive Palmer still hovering? He's getting king hit if so.

[Boydy]

'that no one has thought of yet'

:moop:

I should have acknowledged that part. Throw some ideas out at least. Stick an AI in charge?

[Lewis]

REAL centrism. More money for Our NHS. Less oxygen for paedophiles.

[Queenslander]

Is Clive Palmer still hovering? He's getting king hit if so.

Yep. Im pretty sure he running candidates in every state. Robo texting and robo dialling his way to another defeat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

:moop:

I should have acknowledged that part. Throw some ideas out at least. Stick an AI in charge?

I dunno. Give babies the vote? Create 10,000 new bus routes? Ban wine? Your guess is as good as mine.

[Pepe]

I mean someone to actually chuck some middle fingers around and do something maverick that no one has thought of yet.

https://s14-eu5.startpage.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimage s%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRgYp298zwFDuSMkkLiafiZx0BUC6sf 3Oh8iIrX10E0CXx4-LTrOA&sp=ca2c0b6615c1263dffac656819d38ed4&anticache=854688

[phonics]

https://s14-eu5.startpage.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimage s%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRgYp298zwFDuSMkkLiafiZx0BUC6sf 3Oh8iIrX10E0CXx4-LTrOA&sp=ca2c0b6615c1263dffac656819d38ed4&anticache=854688

The bloke policy wise is a traditional gop Republican so not sure that counts.

[Pepe]

The McD buffet (that he paid for) was something no one had thought of before.

[phonics]

The New York Times did a piece of Grayling that ended with this correction



Correction: March 3, 2019Because of an editing error, an earlier version of this article misstated the amount that a Labour Party’s report claimed Chris Grayling misadventures had cost British taxpayers. It is 2.7 billion pounds, not 2.7 million.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/03/world/europe/grayling-ferries-uk.html?smtyp=cur&smid=tw-nytimes

(https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/03/world/europe/grayling-ferries-uk.html?smtyp=cur&smid=tw-nytimes)Also this quote is just absolutely damning of modern politics


“The lot of Brexiteers who are willing to work with Theresa May and aren’t bonkers is quite small,” said Rob Ford, a politics professor at the University of Manchester. “And one can argue he’s incompetent, but he’s not a flaming ideologue.”

Look he might be shit at his job but at least he doesn't have opinions on it.

[phonics]

1102880287174856704

Single-handedly?

[Lewis]

Tim Montgomerie is such a twat. He would have been lolled out of the party during the Glory Years.

[phonics]

Why do I care what happens in PMQs it's always so bad.



Simon Hoare, a Conservative, says Lent is becoming a time for doing something new and positive. Would it be a good idea for MPs to take up supporting the government?


Yes, says May. Then MPs could give something up - EU membership.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bit of nominative determinism in action there.

[phonics]

I like how he described a thousand+ year old tradition as 'becoming a time for doing something'

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47482048

Oh dear. What do you reckon Herr Henry?

[Disco]

I like how he described a thousand+ year old tradition as 'becoming a time for doing something'

Isn't lent famously a time for doing less things? I thought that was the whole point?

[phonics]

Isn't lent famously a time for doing less things? I thought that was the whole point?

the act of giving up something is still doing something.

[Boydy]

Phonics having another mare.

[phonics]

Phonics having another mare.

You can't declare who is or isn't having a mare for at least a week.


What's the obvious joke there?

[Boydy]

Oh no, I'm not a Prodigy fan.

[Spikey M]

Don't try to wriggle out of it. Everybody - fucking everybody - knows that song and the 'band' that made it.

[Giggles]

I only get it now actually. I thought Jimmy's explanation was the right one.

[Shindig]

If Javid loses his job over the kid dying, I'll be sorely disappointed.

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D1XemqQWkAA64Dl.jpg

There are previously untold levels of projection in this headline.

[phonics]

So what happens when this loses tonight?

[Giggles]

So what happens when this loses tonight?

Brexit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She will either 'take no deal off the table', or seek to extend A50.

Or maybe sing Sinatra at the despatch box. Who can tell.

[Spikey M]

Brexit means Brexit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Someone sign her off sick ffs.

[Spikey M]

So it's either "No Deal" Brexit (means Brexit) or "Continuously extend Article 50 until the end of time" Brexit (means Brexit).

What a shower of shit this mob of cunts are. 2 years and the square root of fuck all has been accomplished.

I don't even care where we go from here. Stay. Leave. Just do fucking one of them. Closure means closure.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My (probably bullshit) reading is that ends it and we'll be Remaining, one way or the other. ERG have fucked it.

An extension is pointless because it doesn't change any of the facts. Either the ERG have to vote for the bird in the hand, or we won't leave because there simply isn't support for their position either in Parliament or in the country.

Thank goodness May called that shite election in 2017, or else we'd have a forced general next year.

[Lewis]

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit, to coin a phrase. I would rather see it binned and ride the seethe all the way to the Fuhrerbunker than go for some watery wank.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now that I've seen from my job just how much effort the Belgians, Dutch and German business communities are putting into 'Brekshit readinessh' I would quite like us to remain just to waste all their useless guilders.

[Mazuuurk]

1105423352733282304

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

No deal is better than a bad deal and all that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just cancel the whole thing.

[Shindig]

Yup. May calls an election, says she's out and cancels article 50. The next lot can trigger it if they wish. And they won't. None of the cunts want this and the ones that do don't want it the way it'll be delivered. Fuck 'em all.

[randomlegend]

1105423352733282304

Snoop Mogg :D

[Spikey M]

If my reading of the situation is correct, which it won't be, the MP's will vote against a No Deal Brexit (means Brexit) tonight, and with the EU saying they will not extend A50 without "a credible justification", there really is very little room for leaving at all. Can't leave without a deal, the MP's have blocked it, can't stay without... well, staying, really. Odds on for a 2nd Referendum? I don't see what option would be left.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would say parliament rejecting the Withdrawal Agreement is a fairly credible justification. You're right though in that barring other developments current law is that we leave on 29 March, so they will call it off in some way if there's no extension.

Also, an extension will change nothing. For us to leave the ERG have to accept a deal, which they will not under any circumstances, so we will not leave.

[ItalAussie]

I realise it's not what people are most interested in, but British universities are firmly in "prepare for death" mode. They're essentially planning for research funding to dry up massively. The Tories have said that won't happen, but I truly can't understand how.

[niko_cee]

Whether the ERG accept a deal or not is entirely irrelevant.

Anything that sates them (or even looks like it might) would simply see defections from somewhere else to scotch the arithmetic. The commons as currently constituted simply will not vote to leave in any circumstances.

A second referendum only changes anything if remain manages to win it, and god knows what the question would be. The only viable options are stay or no deal as neither of those outcomes require the established political class to do anything (perhaps you could say those were, in fact the options last time), but I can't see people being allowed to vote to leave without a deal even if there were a majority for such a position.

So, if there is another vote it'll be remain v remain 2.0 and remain will win, with a large majority, on a pitiful turnout.

And in the medium term you'll have to deal with the rise of obergrupenfuhrer Farage and his disgruntled minions.

Either that or a return to radical, isolationist collectivism under Jez.

Whatever happens, deal, no deal, no brexit, nothing much is really going to change.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I realise it's not what people are most interested in, but British universities are firmly in "prepare for death" mode. They're essentially planning for research funding to dry up massively. The Tories have said that won't happen, but I truly can't understand how.

They'll probably benefit fairly nicely from the coming Remain Boom (unless Tommy Robinson blows them all up).

[phonics]

I wonder what happens to my work permit come the 29th. That'll be fun. I think it should hold out though because I'm on a Permis C, think a lot of the Permis B's will be sent back though. British Embassy still not arranged that meeting as they don't have a scooby doo what'll happen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nothing, because we won't leave.

[phonics]

I've been operating on the basis that if there's an opportunity for the worst political generation in millenia to trip over their own dicks, they'll take it. It's worked so far.

[Lewis]

Yeah, all these wankers wanting 'certainty'. What was more certain than the British state fucking a major project up?

[phonics]

I'll never know how they managed to fuck up that NHS IT project up so bad. How did you end up spending billions of pounds on a Google Doc that didn't work?

[phonics]

Boris' haircut makes him look like he's dying.

[Boydy]

Boris' haircut makes him look like he's dying.
Dying to be prime minister.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Swish.

[Giggles]

Have they voted yet so we can get on with this? I need to get insurance green cards and all sorted.

[niko_cee]

Fucking hell. 308 - 312? I thought it was going to be more like 100 - 500.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was the amendment to not have no deal in any circumstances. The government are now three line whipping against their own (now amended) motion to avoid that. Who knows what is going on.

[Giggles]

Will May survive this?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Will any of us?

[Giggles]

Also, can someone translate this into English for me?

1105915035623264256

[Disco]

Nobody from her own party will touch the job until this is all concluded and there can't/won't be an election. Unless she says 'fuck it, I'm done' and walks away but you'd think she would have done that already if she was going to.

[Vercetti]

Sabrina died?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Three line whip is when the party tries to compel its own members to vote a certain way, although they seem to have issued this about 20 seconds before the vote so who knows how effective it will be.

[phonics]

Speaking of Elections. That idea to have one was a fucking absolute brain box of an idea wasn't it? Almost as good an idea as the one to have a referendum in the first place.

[Disco]

Also, can someone translate this into English for me?

1105915035623264256

The three line whip is one of the strongest instructions the party can issue to its own MPs.

[Giggles]

Three line whip is when the party tries to compel its own members to vote a certain way, although they seem to have issued this about 20 seconds before the vote so who knows how effective it will be.

Ah yes. I've heard them on about that but hadn't matched the term up.

[Giggles]

Here's Nige :cool:

[Lewis]

You do wonder about the thought processes of the no no deal people. They should ask for Jeremy Corbyn as a human sacrifice.

[phonics]

The three line whip is one of the strongest instructions the party can issue to its own MPs.

While I do know this I still don't understand what the difference between the three line whip and the whip is. I've now said/read whip so many times in 2 minutes that it's lost all meaning anyway.

[Disco]

Speaking of Elections. That idea to have one was a fucking absolute brain box of an idea wasn't it?

Managing to reduce your majority in that climate might be one the greatest political feats in modern history.

[Disco]

While I do know this I still don't understand what the difference between the three line whip and the whip is. I've now said/read whip so many times in 2 minutes that it's lost all meaning anyway.

In classic British parliamentary custom it's named after the number times it's been underlined.

[phonics]

Managing to reduce your majority in that climate might be one the greatest political feats in modern history.

Once this is all over and we can look back and laugh I'm getting this framed and put up in the toilet.

https://cdn-04.independent.ie/incoming/article35635109.ece/89f7b/AUTOCROP/w620/DailyMail.PNG


In classic British parliamentary custom it's named after the number times it's been underlined.


Oh that clears it up... when what is underlined three times? I thought the whip was just a bloke who goes round offering peerages/career assassinations (depending on the MP) to get them to vote your way.

[Lewis]

Similarly, God bless Gina Miller for taking it out of the government's hands. :harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The referendum had to happen. This stuff couldn't bubble under the surface forever.

[phonics]

The referendum had to happen. This stuff couldn't bubble under the surface forever.

Yes but not when it's called by the incumbent party who everyone hates, using it as a get out the vote tactic on the presumption of having another hung parliament and getting to blame the Lib Dems for it not happening. It's classic Cameron, being openly smarmy about how smart you are and then getting kicked in the dick for it.

[Disco]

Yes but not when it's called by the incumbent party who everyone hates, using it as a get out the vote tactic on the presumption of having another hung parliament and getting to blame the Lib Dems for it not happening.

:harold:

[Kikó]

Can we just revoke the fucking article and pretend none of this massive time waste ever happened? Get Mogg and Farage into a boeing 737 max and let them go wherever they want.

[Spikey M]

Why are we wasting time with today's vote? Why not just make yesterdays vote 'do you wish to delay Brexit to avoid leaving without a deal?'?

It should not have taken 3 days of rehashing the same arguments to arrive at 'we don't want your deal, we don't want no deal, we need more time'.

[niko_cee]

Moar votes etc.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What this has demonstrated is that most MPs exist to be on telly. We should ban all outgoing people from taking office again.

[Disco]

It's an exercise in reminding everyone how important you definitely are. McDonnell was on the radio this morning essentially admitting that they didn't like the deal because they weren't sufficiently consulted on it.

[niko_cee]

McDonnell looked like he seriously lost his place in the notes when he was replying to Spreadsheet yesterday. Proper doddery blithering.

[phonics]

Don't worry we've got smart people like this guy who wants a GPS tracker in every knife in the UK on the job.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D1nQm8fWoAAZUiF.jpg

[Ian]

'Excellent, that lad who got stabbed? We've narrowed the number of suspects to six figures.'

[Pepe]

Fishing with a knife?

[Baz]

We'd never lose randomlegend.

[Ian]

Fishing with a knife?

Betas do it. Real men catch fish with their bare hands.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon the only way to break this deadlock is for the Tories to dump May, replace her with whoever and then the new leader has to do a massive heel turn and revoke, supported by all the opposition parties and just enough Tories. This fucks their career but saves the nation.

Gove the ideal candidate for this two-week premiership.

[niko_cee]

Jeremy Hunt.

[Lewis]

It doesn't do anything other than kill the Conservative Party, which can only survive as a Brexit vehicle in the Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party sense.

[Giggles]

Someone explain what's gone on after they've finally finished the 50 or so votes they're doing. I've never watched a more complicated TV show.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't even know now, I was doing well last night but they've lost me today.


MPs have voted against the Labour Party's frontbench amendment, which rejects the prime minister's deal, no-deal and calls for an extension of Article 50 to allow time to find a different approach, by 318 votes to 302 - a majority of 16.

What the actual fuck have they voted for then? Are they just going to keep saying no to things until global warming makes the tide come in?

Also the tigger amendment for a people's vote was fucking stupid politics.

[Giggles]

So there's no deal, no no deal, and no extension?

[Spikey M]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Spikey M]

Wait, it has been delayed. Bollocks.

[Giggles]

Wait, it has been delayed. Bollocks.

Was it? I thought that was the 318-302 Jimmy mentioned above, though it's easy to lose track.

Have they voted on what takeaway to order in yet?

[Spikey M]

Nope, yes (to delay) won by 200 odd votes. Jimmy's either on the piss or on the wind up.

[Spikey M]

Wait now they're saying something about it being delayed "if the PM's deal is approved". What deal? The one she's lost votes on twice?

[Giggles]

Wait now they're saying something about it being delayed "if the PM's deal is approved". What deal? The one she's lost votes on twice?

If her deal is approved then why delay at all? :cab:

[niko_cee]

Like all good sagas, her deal is coming back for a third instalment next week.

This was for a small technical delay (months) to implement that when it gets approved.

Arf.

[niko_cee]

The EU then says, we'll see your three months and raise you 2 years, and then, well, who knows.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They've rejected every feasible solution and approved a non-specific delay.

Now they have to see if they can hold a third meaningful vote on Tuesday (I fail to see how this will be any different to the previous ones).

[niko_cee]

They're going to underline it 4 times.

[Byron]

I think the plan is to scare enough Brexiteers into voting for May's deal by saying 'you either vote my deal and Brexit happens in June or reject it and Brexit gets delayed indefinitely'

[Lewis]

Take the delay and just grind the government to a halt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The ERG's best bet at this point is having a second referendum and winning it again.

[Byron]

Take the delay and just grind the government to a halt.

Not sure we need a delay for that to happen, government is basically non-existent at this point.

[Giggles]

The ERG's best bet at this point is having a second referendum and winning it again.

Would the deal get any better though? It'd basically amount to a year delay and be right back where we are.

[Lewis]

There should be a campaign to boycott any second referendum, and Brexiting should become a movement (whether through the Conservative Party or a new party) to do so properly whilst also smashing up and/or de-funding every cunt institution that sought to prevent it. They will have had their chance to do it peacefully.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Alright, Christine Hamilton.

[Shindig]

I reckon the only way to break this deadlock is for the Tories to dump May, replace her with whoever and then the new leader has to do a massive heel turn and revoke, supported by all the opposition parties and just enough Tories. This fucks their career but saves the nation.

Gove the ideal candidate for this two-week premiership.

She's going anyway. May can revoke, survive another vote of no confidence and then bow out at the end of term.

[Yevrah]

This is hilarious now and the EU really should tell us to fuck off and stop wasting everybody’s time.

[Spikey M]

I have no idea what the end goal is here. I mean I get May's, bless her, but the rest of them are baffling. This is an exercise in self-destruction at this point. Actually, it's worse than that, because self-destruction would require taking some kind of fucking action. What we have at present is a majority of politicians stamping their feet and saying no to everything that's asked.

My 3 year old does this too.

Do you want Lasagna for dinner?
No!
Fish Pie?
No!
Spaghetti bolognese?
No!
A repeated referendum?
No!
Quiche?
No!
No Deal Brexit?
No!
Fish fingers?
No!

Eventually Peppa Pig and Macaroni Cheese wins out. It's worth a try.

[Ian]

I know this is going to sound like a fundamental misunderstanding of the show's premise but Peppa Pig is a fucking cow.

[phonics]

No she's definitely a pig.

[Spikey M]

The great thing about the show is that the names hint at what they are.

Peppa is indeed a pig. She's pink and everything.

[Ian]

She's a little cow. A bitch too, while we're at it.

[Byron]

Alright, Piers.

[Spikey M]

She's a little cow. A bitch too, while we're at it.

She's a fucking pig. Not a cow. Not a dog. Danny is the dog. You mong.

[Ian]

If you're going to insist on being pedantic because you love Peppa so much at least talk about Danny's mum when correcting me on the 'bitch' bit, Mert.

[Spikey M]

Mummy dog is a saint, you cunt.

[Ian]

Dogs can't be saints, silly.

[Spikey M]

Saint Bernard.

[Ian]

Well you've got me there.

Beethoven. :drool:

[Spikey M]

He did dribble alot, so you've got this one right.

[Henry]

The Brexit Minister voting against the government motion he'd just led the debate in favour of is some next level farce.

Astonishing that this government is still in office.

[Shindig]

Is it? When you look around the commons and see what's on the other side ... is it?

[Henry]

Only if you mean that Tory scum are united in terror at the prospect.

[Spikey M]

Do you think Labour have been particularly helpful in this shitstorm? The lot of them, Labour included, are a disgrace.

[phonics]

Spikey having a picture of Mahow as an avatar is properly throwing me off.

[Giggles]

This must be some wedge of cash to be able to get the DUP to sell out.

[Giggles]

For a party leader Marylou McDonald shouldn't be let near Twitter, or out in public for that matter.

[Spikey M]

What was the intent of that banner? England have nothing to do with Ireland outside of EU business do they? Or was it a declaration of ownership of Northern Ireland?

[Giggles]

What was the intent of that banner? England have nothing to do with Ireland outside of EU business do they? Or was it a declaration of ownership of Northern Ireland?

The latter I'd assume. The shinners are always mistakenly under that impression.

[Spikey M]

Mental timing if so. Brexit, if it goes ahead, is going to put some serious strain on 'peace'. Party leaders chipping in - I'm aware that the DUP have been larging it up too lately - is really not going to help.

Is there a hope in hell of knee capping and bombings not kicking back off if there's a No Deal Brexit?

[Boydy]

What was the intent of that banner? England have nothing to do with Ireland outside of EU business do they? Or was it a declaration of ownership of Northern Ireland?

Are you serious?

[Boydy]

Knee-cappings never stopped.

[Spikey M]

Are you serious?

Yes.

[Spikey M]

Knee-cappings never stopped.

Really? I thought it had all settled down?

[Giggles]

Mental timing if so. Brexit, if it goes ahead, is going to put some serious strain on 'peace'. Party leaders chipping in - I'm aware that the DUP have been larging it up too lately - is really not going to help.

Is there a hope in hell of knee capping and bombings not kicking back off if there's a No Deal Brexit?

Only the bombings (mainly) stopped anyway. It's going to kick off again regardless of what the outcome of Brexit is, though the way things currently are are probably the best outcome for it.

[Lewis]

Wasn't it just thicko Americans using England/Britain interchangeably?

[Spikey M]

Can't we just fly Boyd out and level the gaff? You guys only want the place because we have it, and we only want it because you want it. We're 2 kids fighting over a used condom.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It should really be a dual national zone, where you can swear fealty to the Queen if you want or to the shamrock if you want, or both.

Let's not dig into the impracticalities of the above statement as I reckon I've just solved the whole problem and don't want to hear otherwise.

[Spikey M]

Split it in two. It worked fine with India and Israel.

[Giggles]

Really? I thought it had all settled down?

It's a bit less but mainly it just doesn't get reported in the news much any more.


Can't we just fly Boyd out and level the gaff? You guys only want the place because we have it, and we only want it because you want it. We're 2 kids fighting over a used condom.

The reality is that nobody wants it. It's hugely unstable and a massive money drain, the petty fuckers couldn't even stop bickering enough to form a government for years.
Historical reasons still dictate that both countries must give the impression they want it but thankfully that's changing. If there was a referendum here tomorrow (actual Ireland) it probably wouldn't pass. That's a big step from where it would have been two decades ago.

[Boydy]

Yes.
Sinn Fein's entire raison d'etre is Irish unification.


Really? I thought it had all settled down?
Knee-cappingsare mainly used by paramilitaries to keep people in line on their own side. So drug dealers (who don't pay their taxes to them) and 'anti-social behvaiour' offenders or whatever get it. It was never something done against the other side. And the paramilitaries still exist, they're just organised crime gangs now, essentially.


It should really be a dual national zone, where you can swear fealty to the Queen if you want or to the shamrock if you want, or both.

Let's not dig into the impracticalities of the above statement as I reckon I've just solved the whole problem and don't want to hear otherwise.
You kind of can already, no? You can have either passport or both if you want.

Giggles is probably right, though. It might well kick off again, Brexit or no. We haven't had a government for over two years now and even when he had one fuck all was getting done anyway.

[Spikey M]

Sinn Fein's entire raison d'etre is Irish unification.
.

I'm aware of that. But I thought they were all cuddly and reasonable these days.

[Giggles]

Giggles is probably right, though. It might well kick off again, Brexit or no. We haven't had a government for over two years now and even when he had one fuck all was getting done anyway.

Hard border and it definitely kicks off, though SF would love this to happen even if they won't say it as it would be a reason they could push for a border vote (which would only kick things off from the loyalist side regardless).

No Brexit is the best scenario as regards things kicking back off but it's always bubbling and I wouldn't be surprised to see things escalate regardless.

[Giggles]

He's a fucking cretin, but he's not wrong on the leadership bit. The less seats that shower ever win here the better.


1107193246088904704

[Spikey M]

Why can't we all just be mates?

[Giggles]

We don't do too badly really if you discount NI completely.

Brexit naturally put a bit of a strain on things but in general relations have never been better.


.

[Boydy]

On the subject of things possibly kicking off, this will not go down well at all - https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/bloody-sunday/bloody-sunday-veterans-plan-mass-rally-in-derry-against-pps-decision-37915221.html

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nice heel turn from Mr Speaker here. I hope he knows what he's doing.

[Giggles]

Does he have any authority or is it an opinion?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's the biggest lout of the lot, he'd just nut anyone who disagrees with him.

[Browning]

Yea, he should have let them keep re-running the same vote until they get the result they want.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does he have any authority or is it an opinion?

He has authority.

[Spikey M]

Good on him. Although May will just blag some bullshit amendments to 'The Deal'.

[Yevrah]

Although May will just blag some bullshit amendments to 'The Deal'.

Exactly. He's a self publicising twat.

[Kikó]

Yeah he's the problem here.

[Boydy]

1108038635130155009

It's gonna fucking happen, isn't it?

[Lewis]

Her not even knowing whether she wants a short or a long delay is hilarious/pathetic (delete as appropriate). The Dream lives on.

[phonics]

1108412410149462016

This is insanity.

[Spikey M]

She'd genocide the lot of us before giving up on this shit.