UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[Giggles]

A nation once again, a nation once again...

Come on, sing it with me.

I don't like what that nation would be. I'm happy with the one I have.

[Lewis]

It could be some joke protectorate like Bosnia with a plastic neutral viceroy.

[Boydy]

www.politico.eu/article/election-two-thirds-of-irish-would-vote-for-united-ireland

[Giggles]

www.politico.eu/article/election-two-thirds-of-irish-would-vote-for-united-ireland

Once a lot of that 60% were told what they'd end up with during a referendum campaign it would fall significantly. I very much doubt it would pass in Northern Irelabd either. A lot of "nationalists" know how their bread gets the most butter and won't want that changing.

[phonics]

The biggest enditement of Boris Johnson is making Ed Miliband look good in a speech where he couldn't go 3 words without stumbling.

I think he called the Deputy Speaker 'Miss' about 12 times.

'Boris' is absolutely pathetic.

[phonics]

www.politico.eu/article/election-two-thirds-of-irish-would-vote-for-united-ireland (http://www.politico.eu/article/election-two-thirds-of-irish-would-vote-for-united-ireland)

I think we have a good mixture of upper/lower class, income, demographic and geographic spread.

Have any of you ever been polled in one of these things?

edit: Discounting Jimmy because IIRC he signed up to be polled.

[Giggles]

It could be some joke protectorate like Bosnia with a plastic neutral viceroy.

I've heard madness like a 4 province federal setup and things like that too.

Having to take on the cultural aspects of it should sicken enough people before you even get as far as how employment is set up in it.

A nice Celtic union with an independent Scotland would be their best way forward. They've far more in common with the Scots than the Irish anyway.

[Lewis]

There is less chance of Scotland leaving than them.

[mugbull]

The biggest enditement of Boris Johnson is making Ed Miliband look good in a speech where he couldn't go 3 words without stumbling.


I spent several minutes trying to figure out what Francophone jargon you were putting to use there before I realized you were trying to spell indictment

[Lewis]

This former MP getting two years for groping a couple of women seems a bit excessive. People get that for causing serious road accidents.

[Kikó]

Sentencing doesn't work like that.

[Lewis]

Cheers Legal Twitter.

[Don]

"I'm a naughty Tory" was a nice touch.

[phonics]

Sounds like he needed the whip removed at the very least.

[niko_cee]

Is he the one who's wife is now the MP for wherever he was MP for?

[igor_balis]

This former MP getting two years for groping a couple of women seems a bit excessive. People get that for causing serious road accidents.

Says as much about the leniency of sentencing for dangerous driving imo.

Any death by dangerous driving or drunk driving conviction over a certain level should be an instant lifetime ban, and it staggers me that it isn't already.

[Lofty]

They're reviewing it aren't they? So many instances of newly passed kids piling all their mates into their deathtrap and speeding about until one inevitably dies in a crash, and they get a few points on their licence and have to retake their test.

[niko_cee]

And lifetime bans would change that?

[Don]

I know a guy who is a keen drink driver and he says the consequences of being caught are not a factor in his decision to do it. He's had a couple of seshes that have got out of hand and his autopilot meant he jumped in the car and got himself home without remembering a single second of it the next day. On one memorable occasion he did curb it at a high speed and woke up to find his wheel absolutely fucked. He's not proud but as Noel Gallagher says, if he kills himself and wipes out a family of 4, THAT'S ON HIM.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sounds like a right cunt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My main role at the cricket club these days is staying there (fully sober) until the bitter end of the post match drinking session at 1am and stopping 2 or 3 people from drink driving home. The same handful are always bang up for it.

[Baz]

Five and drive.

[Spikey M]

My main role at the cricket club these days is staying there (fully sober) until the bitter end of the post match drinking session at 1am and stopping 2 or 3 people from drink driving home. The same handful are always bang up for it.

Why do you do it? I mean, they obviously shouldn't be drink driving but why take on their responsibility to not do so?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a results business.

[Ian]

Just thieve their keys, drop them down a drain and have yourself an early night.

It's a good deed really because what they deserve is a stabbing.

[phonics]

1305523134733393925

Weird, that.

[Kikó]

https://c8.alamy.com/comp/M48AFB/oops-sorry-business-man-M48AFB.jpg

[Lewis]

I work with historic files, and you would probably be surprised how much important stuff just gets lost and disposed of (either binned or released) by people who don't really know what they're looking at, or assuming that someone else will have a copy of it.

[Don]

Yeah but this is the important kind. The kind that reveal Grenfell was a planned gassing of brownies by naughty Tories.

[phonics]

I work with historic files, and you would probably be surprised how much important stuff just gets lost and disposed of (either binned or released) by people who don't really know what they're looking at, or assuming that someone else will have a copy of it.

I had no idea you work for the Russian Olympic Comittee.

[Ian]

It's also not really that easy to "wipe" a laptop so hard that a halfway competent IT company couldn't get the files back if they wanted them.

Given who we're dealing with I assume the files in question have just been moved to the recycle bin and they've considered that a job well done.

[Lewis]

I also wrote that thinking it was a government laptop, when it's just some poor bloke who wanted a free laptop. That headline is pretty unfair.

[Spikey M]

1307010839497584640?s=19

[Shindig]

There has to have been a bet involved in that.

[Yevrah]

He seems to have worked at least twice as hard as anyone during this, so fair play to him.

[Spikey M]

Is he working hard or is he making it hard work?

[Yevrah]

Obviously mistakes have been made, but it would have been hard whatever. Well, unless we'd adopted the Swedish model, lol.

[phonics]

Its 7am and he slightly misspoke. It's not even in the top 10 of fuck ups this week.

[Spikey M]

Nobody said it was. It's just a bit funny, you boring fuck.

[phonics]

Meanwhile this is actually funny

1307240935898611714

[Kikó]

Hancock is one of the few that's actually been available throughout so credit there. Most of them have gone hiding for the majority.

[phonics]

I am not going to give credit to a member of the cabinet for ‘being on telly’.

He’s the minister for health in the middle of a pandemic ffs. If he wasn’t available it’d be a farce.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've thought from the start that personally piling in on the health secretary (whoever it may be) during this is lazy and pathetic. Literally no one in the world wants his job, especially with Boris Johnson as your boss.

If the government are to be blamed for things it should be for their collective decision-making (as that is literally how they operate) or the PM as the figurehead and the one who (should) take responsibility.

[Lewis]

In times like this he is more spokesman than minister, since all he can do is explain the forces from above (overall strategy) and below (institutional failures); but then you wanted the job fella. I never liked him when he was George Osborne's meat puppet on Question Time every week so way to go me.

[phonics]

I saw Chris Grayling is still racking up private contracts. How? He must be absolutely bent. The entire country knows he's incompetent.

[Spikey M]

1307266984552402944?s=19
1307267305840218113?s=19
1307577248413876224?s=19
:lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why can't she dress as Mr T?

[Giggles]

It’s getting beyond stupid now.

[Spikey M]

Why can't she dress as Mr T?

Because he's Black init and it's racist somehow.

[mo]

Imagine not understanding how blackface is racist. Not that she looks particularly blacked up in that picture.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, exactly. She isn't in blackface at all, just has a silly joke shop helmet on and a false beard.

[Spikey M]

Imagine not understanding how blackface is racist. Not that she looks particularly blacked up in that picture.

She isn't blackface.

[Disco]

She's drawn a beard on and worn a hat, I'm not sure that qualifies.

[mo]

Hence my second sentence. My initial response was to what seemed to be general ignorance as to why it's not advisable to dress up as a black person.

[Lewis]

I always thought blackface/blacking up differed from painting your face black in that it also included acting like a racial stereotype. If that is the case then Mr. T creates a problem there because he acts like one himself, and if you dressed like him but spoke normally in an attempt to avoid it you could be erasing his identity.

[Spikey M]

Hence my second sentence. My initial response was to what seemed to be general ignorance as to why it's not advisable to dress up as a black person.

That seems like a great way to stop White children from having Black role models.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW MUCH YOU LIKE VAN DIJK, YOU'RE GOING AS KANE, NOW PUT THE MARBLES IN YOUR MOUTH!"

[phonics]

"I can’t look up to black people if I can’t black up."

Fucking hell.

[Shindig]

"You wanted me to spend a day in a black man's shoes, mate."

[Spikey M]

"I can’t look up to black people if I can’t black up."

Fucking hell.

Children like to dress up as their idols. This isn't news. And we're not talking about blacking up, he said dressing up.

[Yevrah]

Fancy dress is the worst thing in the world ever, but if you're now no longer allowed to go as a black person (even sans the boot polish), then hopefully it'll spell the death of it.

[phonics]

In a conversation about blackface, I'm pretty sure we can assume what's implied by 'dressing up'.

Spikey has definitely gone knee deep on a jar of shoe polish and is trying to justify himself.

[Lewis]

You bowling around dressed as PaRappa the Rapper must meet some sort of threshold.

[Spikey M]

It's mental but hopefully it leads to Phonics having to bin his (shit) trainers. Stop appropriating you cunt

[phonics]

Absolutely on the ropes, Spikey.

Can we see your black face photos?

[Spikey M]

In a conversation about blackface, I'm pretty sure we can assume what's implied by 'dressing up'.

Spikey has definitely gone knee deep on a jar of shoe polish and is trying to justify himself.

I haven't and I wouldn't, but I'm mixed race, so blow me.

[phonics]

That must have been hard having a black role model as a parent and not be able to go blackface to show them how much they meant to you.

[Spikey M]

Absolutely on the ropes, Spikey.

Can we see your black face photos?

:cab:

[Spikey M]

That must have been hard having a black role model as a parent and not be able to go blackface to show them how much they meant to you.

it's not my fault you're unable to follow the thread of a conversation or what someone has actually said.

[phonics]

It's definitely me who's struggling to understand something pretty basic and obvious on this subject.

[Spikey M]

"Blacking up" has quite clearly been flagged as not ok by all participants and was so within about 5 posts.

[Lewis]

I bold Idiotmouse to black him up.

[Pepe]

I always thought blackface/blacking up differed from painting your face black in that it also included acting like a racial stereotype.

Well, yes, but definition creep.


If that is the case then Mr. T creates a problem there because he acts like one himself, and if you dressed like him but spoke normally in an attempt to avoid it you could be erasing his identity.

:lol:

EDIT:


I bold Idiotmouse to black him up.

:lol: x2

[Spikey M]

I bold Idiotmouse to black him up.

And I appreciate it.

[Boydy]

You bowling around dressed as PaRappa the Rapper must meet some sort of threshold.
:lol:

[Boydy]

I always thought blackface/blacking up differed from painting your face black in that it also included acting like a racial stereotype. If that is the case then Mr. T creates a problem there because he acts like one himself, and if you dressed like him but spoke normally in an attempt to avoid it you could be erasing his identity.

1307047289878458369

Just saw this on twitter and thought it was interesting.

[SvN]

You bowling around dressed as PaRappa the Rapper must meet some sort of threshold.

Fuck me, that's brilliant :D

[Lofty]

Haven't seen it discussed anywhere else, but Corbyn's suspension from the Labour Party seems to be melting down Labour voters quite efficiently.

[Smjffy]

She's every bit as impartial as the BBC itself.

I watched the QT U30's yesterday and the best thing to come from it is making it a criminal offence for MP's who spout bollocks and deceive. It won't happen because there will be none left but the good ones are few and far between. No one believes a word that any of them say and that's dangerous.

It will get worse and people will become further disillusioned. I feel that we'll be rioting in a few years and the army will be forced to patrol the streets. I'm convinced of it, in fact.

Then along comes Covid to speed it up. :nodd:

[Smjffy]

Haven't seen it discussed anywhere else, but Corbyn's suspension from the Labour Party seems to be melting down Labour voters quite efficiently.

Both main parties are done for. Starmer is basically a Tory in red and the Tories are the Tories.

Corbyn would have won the election if Labour never faffed about with their stance on Brexit, anti-semitism or not.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Corbyn would not have won any election in any conceivable timeline, but Starmer possibly could do.

[Smjffy]

Starmer is useless and if he did it would be purely because the Conservatives have fucked this up royally so it would be by default rather than design.

[Lewis]

Has anyone asked Keir 'Sir Keir Starmer' Starmer why he spent three years trying to make Jeremy Corbyn Prime Minister yet?

[Shindig]

He did it for the Jews.

[phonics]

I havent followed a word of it because it bores me to tears but this leaking and bitchiness over a position that I've only heard about in the West Wing sums up how utterly useless this lot are.

[Lewis]

I really hope whoever provided that 'governing in the spirit of Biden-Harris' quote is exposed and lolled out of public life.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I thought Dom would wait for Boris to die/go completely ga-ga before blowing up the building and installing Gove.

lol at the reports of Carrie Symonds running the show. She's, like, my age.

[Boydy]

Tbf you'd be better at running the show than Boris.

[Ian]

I'm loving UKIP's commitment to the bit in putting forward a London mayor candidate called Dr Peter Gammons.

[Yevrah]

Cummings off:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-54925322

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's easy to mock / hate, but he's also the reason they became relevant to vast swathes of the country to whom they previously offered nothing. Without him they will once again return to offering them nothing, as the stupid cunt wankers in the 'parliamentary party' are the biggest load of thick cunts going, and most of the front bench aren't much better.

In other words it's bad news for people who don't want Labour in government.

[niko_cee]

Labour would have to have Lenin's reanimated corpse as leader next time to not win, even then it'd be 50/50.

[Spikey M]

Aside from when Clegg stole my vote with a load of bullshit, I have always voted Labour, but the next election will be the first time I've done so without a load of dithering beforehand. It's not even close, this shower of cunts need to be gone pronto and Starmer is about 15 times the man Boris is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

80 maj spread across various regions will need a reasonable amount of yakka to overturn, but I'd make them narrow favourites with the sensible strategy Keir appears to have. The one issue they may have is if Sunak becomes leader before then he will do far better than Boris would. You can already see Starmer going after Sunak quite readily, more so than he goes after Boris.

[Luke Emia]

Aside from when Clegg stole my vote with a load of bullshit, I have always voted Labour, but the next election will be the first time I've done so without a load of dithering beforehand. It's not even close, this shower of cunts need to be gone pronto and Starmer is about 15 times the man Boris is.

I had always voted Tory up until the last election. Due to lack of options I voted Lib Dem as I refused to give my vote to Corbyn. Next time barring Starmer doing something absolutely mental or the Tories getting rid of Boris and putting someone competent in charge(is there even anyone who is) I will be voting Labour. Not because I am a communist but because the front bench of the Tory party at the minute is absolutely fucking useless.

Once again I will be voting for what I feel I will be voting for the least worst option and it feels like I have done so everytime I have voted for the last ten years.

[Luke Emia]

80 maj spread across various regions will need a reasonable amount of yakka to overturn, but I'd make them narrow favourites with the sensible strategy Keir appears to have. The one issue they may have is if Sunak becomes leader before then he will do far better than Boris would. You can already see Starmer going after Sunak quite readily, more so than he goes after Boris.

He doesn't even have to try with Boris it's just a case of leaving him to himself. Imbecile is gonna imbecile.

[Yevrah]

The memoirs coming out of all this are going to be fascinating.

[Kikó]

I'm pretty sure the only time I voted Labour was the mayoral elections. Otherwise been Libs or Green.

[Lewis]

It's not great timing given that the pandemic has proven everything he ever said about the government machinery, and it suggests that the Conservative Party intends to retreat into being a waste of space after Brexit (and wasting its opportunities); but the Labour Party still aren't winning the next election.

[Lewis]

Good timing for the New Year honours list though. :drool:

[Spikey M]

How many of the 80 Majority were northern slums they'll never win again? Marcus Rushford must have flipped about 20 on his own.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think the pan-western shift of white blue-collar areas away from trade union Labour traditions and towards conservatives will take more than the departure of D.Cummings to reverse, but then Keir is setting himself up to be much more appealing to those voters and probably less appealing to the inner city and students (which Labour will win anyway), so they have half a chance.

[Boydy]

I think the pan-western shift of white blue-collar areas away from trade union Labour traditions and towards conservatives will take more than the departure of D.Cummings to reverse, but then Keir is setting himself up to be much more appealing to those voters and probably less appealing to the inner city and students (which Labour will win anyway), so they have half a chance.

How do you figure Starmer is doing that?

[Lewis]

He isn't, but even if he won back all of their old seats it still leaves him about fifty English seats short of a majority. For all the millions of man hours spent talking about the 'Red Wall', there is a comparable 'Blue Wall' of semi-rural/small town areas (like where I'm from) that have become rock solid blue seats over the past few elections, and they will be extremely difficult for the modern Labour Party to crack.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.cityam.com/sir-keir-starmer-labour-must-become-more-patriotic/

All this sort of shit which is a huge message departure from Corbyn. If he goes around for five years saying the right things and seeming competent he'll get a nice chunk of seats back pretty easily. Add in a few compelling headline policies nearer the time and it could tip him towards victory. Lots of water to go under the bridge but although I think he's a snake, he does seem like an adept strategist so far.

[Lewis]

Which is great until he defines patriotism as international co-operation and offering your arse to migrants.

[Gray Fox]

Can confirm the Scouse do not like Starmer. However we would rather dig our own eyes out than vote for a non-Labour candidate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

People who liked Corbyn won't be in play at an election for the next 30 years, if they ever have been.

[Manc]

Cumdog has left the building.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/cpsprodpb/3924/production/_115482641_5db0fa49-5280-4171-a7d3-e92fd1f46d95.jpg

:drool:

[Spikey M]

People who liked Corbyn won't be in play at an election for the next 30 years, if they ever have been.

Out of interest, do you think Corbyn would have done a worse job than Bozza and co.? I mean, he's shit, but it's difficult to see how he could have handled Covid any worse and I don't see him telling the EU that they can stick international law up their arses because he'd changed his mind on his own deal.

[Shindig]

And he'd probably get Andy Burnham to back down.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He'd have been far worse, doing things just as badly as the current lot but also introducing the timelessly destructive force of Labour factionalism into the equation (his wing of Labour hate the Blair lot arguably more than they dislike the Tories).

[Lewis]

I must have missed Number 10 fighting any sort of 'culture war', so fuck knows what retreating from it looks like, but clearly the new advisors weren't alive to witness the stunning successes the Conservative Party have previously enjoyed trying to appeal to people who will never vote for it under any circumstances.

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/sEgmfmH.png

Just an absolutely perfect Preston here. I don't know/care if the story is true but to say it is verifiably untrue because someone told him is the Pestonator performing at his peak.

[Lewis]

'This denial is from a source still in government'. Surely the original story was provided by a similar tier (lol) source, so why does his source trump the Financial Times source?

[phonics]

Why is most of the sports bailout going to Rugby?

https://i.imgur.com/EIIq2gM.png

[Spikey M]

https://www.irishtimes.com/polopoly_fs/1.4103173.1575384455!/image/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/ratio_1x1_w1200/image.jpg

[Lewis]

lol at league selling itself short.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Presumably they're considerably hardest hit by lack of crowds.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/686971/highest-attended-types-of-sport-in-the-uk/

Football is an exception because there's just stupid money swilling around in it. I have a mate who works for a Championship club, who recently sold a player to the Premier League for quite a bit of money, and he said that that deal alone has kept him and everyone else there in a job for the next two years, regardless of crowds.

[Lewis]

Yes, but it's more that they actually wanted to play through it, so they have a better case against the government than sports that stopped themselves.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My thing was in response to phonics's question rather than yours. The reason league will have got less money than they should is because they will have shit access to lobby government and/or be shit at leveraging whatever access they have.

Gee gees seem to have fingers in all the pies, somehow.

[Giggles]

Once gambling goes out the window there won’t be any need for horse racing at all. It exists purely for it.

[igor_balis]

Rugby is fucking bollocks. Fuck off.

[Giggles]

‘Priti Patel is a cunt’ is news?

[Lewis]

I got pulled into the office at sixth form for bullying somebody, because I pointed out - literally once - that their surname 'Torrode' was a bit like 'Commode', and then some other people started calling them it. With that in mind, this 'unintentional' bullying was probably just her telling the civil servants behind the worst department in the government what a shit job they've been doing for her entire adult life.

[Queenslander]

Once gambling goes out the window there won’t be any need for horse racing at all. It exists purely for it.

Horse racing and Greyhound racing hasnt stopped once this year.

[Spikey M]

I got pulled into the office at sixth form for bullying somebody, because I pointed out - literally once - that their surname 'Torrode' was a bit like 'Commode', and then some other people started calling them it. With that in mind, this 'unintentional' bullying was probably just her telling the civil servants behind the worst department in the government what a shit job they've been doing for her entire adult life.

I once got pulled for calling a kid called Giles ( :harold: ) 'Piles'. We were destined to meet Lou Bear. Destined.

Piles was eventually force fed worms by bullies 2 years above us and moved to another school. He looked like a weedier Napoleon Dynamite, but he had no Pedro, because who wants to be friends with a fucking 'Giles'? This is Southend mate, not Eaton. Pip pip Piles, you specky ginger Cunt.

[Lewis]

On the very first day of secondary school I nicknamed a lad in my new form 'Tory Boy' (lol) because he looked exactly - and I mean exactly - like the Harry Enfield character. I don't think most people even understood the reference, but it became his nickname from that day on, even to people from other schools on his estate that haven't ever been anywhere near. As it happened, he also established himself as one of the leading bully victims for the next five years, and, although I never bullied him, the people that did bully him did so calling him 'Tory Boy', and he developed a sort of complex around it, became a goth, and eventually started to kick right off at the mere mention of the name. The last sighting of him was on Myspace claiming to be older than he was, using a different name, and working as a 'roadie'.

Soz ard Chris. :charm:

[phonics]

I was pulled infront of the principal twice in high school. Once in year nine when I used the phrase 'poontang pie' on a piece of English coursework (genuinely didn't know what it meant, The Rock was allowed to say it at 10am on a Saturday so it couldn't be that bad?) and then once in year 11 when I threw the contents of one of those small coffee creamers at someone who happened to turn and run into a tree, exploding their knee. I was told to 'never do it again' which might be the most specific warning I've ever had.

[Lewis]

I never bullied anybody in the persistent/specific target sense, as in picking on somebody, but I got in trouble for it a few times due to Richard Keys-style banter overloading. I was there too early. I would have been the daddy during the banter LAD era.

[phonics]

I was very much bullied during my primary school years. Can you tell?

[Shindig]

I think mine might've stopped at year 10. I did get sent to the behavioural unit once after being punched unconscious, though. With the lad that did it, naturally.

[phonics]

Unrelated but being threatened with an ASBO was a real high point. Getting sent to jail for playing a Beastie Boys album would be almost worth it for the lols.

[Lewis]

I got pulled into the office at sixth form for bullying somebody, because I pointed out - literally once - that their surname 'Torrode' was a bit like 'Commode', and then some other people started calling them it. With that in mind, this 'unintentional' bullying was probably just her telling the civil servants behind the worst department in the government what a shit job they've been doing for her entire adult life.

lol it is literally that (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-55015488), right down to admitting the department is useless. It's obviously poor leadership (shock), but half the working world would be out of a job in that case.

[phonics]

Wait... the entire report is a 2 page PDF from someone saying 'I talked to her and if anything you deserved it for not being nicer to her'?

It's not even formatted correctly? We'll ignore the missing colon but why does every paragraph begin with a quotation mark but only a closing quotation mark on the final one?

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/937010/Findings_of_the_Independent_Adviser.pdf

[Lewis]

The actual details will probably have personal (or at least potentially identifying) information in, so we just get a useless summary that seems to strain a bit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This picture (from the online G20 meeting) made me lol. Look at poor old Donaldinho in the corner, having to sit through it, not even being in the podium places for biggest strongman villain on the call.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EnXMyxzXcAg-NiQ?format=jpg&name=medium

[Giggles]

What’s the other flag beside Johnson? Is he threatening to wipe out the infidels?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Saudi flag, so yes.

[Spikey M]

As if he could bumble his way through an Allahu akbar.

Edit: and a fond welcome to our new CIA bots. Check Magics hard drive while you're here.

[Raoul Duke]

Carlo Ancellotti just above Japan there, accidentally joining the wrong call but styling it out

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.flickr.com/photos/hmtreasury/albums/72157717024949257

Artistic art art. Once again he is standing in all photos where others are sitting. You're five foot two, mate, accept it.

[Spikey M]

:D It is definitely on purpose as well.

[Lewis]

He's got a normal person-sized head as well, so it's like semi-dwarfism.

[Lewis]

I will be pleasantly surprised if they don't BOTTLE this foreign aid cut in the face of some pretty well-connected whoppers. With their quality logic. 0.7% to 0.5% kills x amount of kids; so why haven't they ever lobbied for it to be 0.9%? Blood on your hands Oxfam.

[Kikó]

What benefit do we get from cutting foreign aid?

[Jimmy Floyd]

0.2% of GDP to spend on a new Royal Yacht.

[Lewis]

It's a tiny bit less money pissed up the wall, which is a major victory these days. There are something like three countries who spend more than us on foreign aid, but Big Chugger wants us to believe that reducing it by a few billion casts us into the international wilderness.

[Kikó]

I'd be more worried about the actual money pissed up the wall than a small percentage of our budget used on bringing impoverished people out of squalor (yeah yeah why India etc). It's a pointless saving.

[Spikey M]

How much of it actually goes where we'd want it to and how much of it buys a fleet of BMW's for some dictator?

[Don]

You asking the same about the HS2 funding, I hope.

[Spikey M]

Is there a single person in the country that doesn't acknowledge it's a crooked shambles?

[Don]

Some may see it differently just because it's presented in a lighter tint and in a suit as opposed to a dashiki.

[Spikey M]

Even Lewis and Jimmy think it's a farce, but that might be because Labour also have HS2 shit on their hands.

[Jimmy Floyd]

HS2 is a proper 2006 idea, like ID cards, or The Kooks.

[Lewis]

I was against it from the start me. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've always assumed they keep it running for the same bent reasons that housing developers can cry and wail their way to not building any affordable housing, i.e. it's too much of a ballache to get the lawyers involved.

[Lewis]

It keeps going because too many people would have questions to answer if they canned it.

[Shindig]

HS2 is a proper 2006 idea, like ID cards, or The Kooks.

At least Wembley got finished.

[igor_balis]

As long as they use the money saved to pay g4s to run some schools or something I'll be delighted.

[Shindig]

On an unrelated note, I saw a video of that ridiculous Bangkok Maglev and wondered how fun it would be to hit the emergency stop on it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cutting foreign aid is one of those things that isn't a political risk at all: ravenous support for it across all parties as seen here https://twitter.com/YouGov/status/1331650556566368258

It's just a cheap win and something to get the capuccino sisters fired up.

[Kikó]

It's short sighted nonsense which has been built up to be more important than it actually is (in regards to spend).

[niko_cee]

The aid or cutting the aid, or both?

[Spikey M]

Look guys, if we have to cut back, then we have to cut back. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-54988870)

[Kikó]

The aid or cutting the aid, or both?

The size of the aid given, the use of the aid and the importance of the amount we give to aid (say v given it for school children for meals)

[Spikey M]

1332165931129319424?s=19

Do you reckon Rishi has one of these?

[phonics]

Saw one of his pictures the other day where ol Rish was wearing a hoodie and a tie. Man of the people.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-55146068

How long before that's ripped down?

[niko_cee]

Should have made it massive like a proper tinpot country.

[Shindig]

Not even that, man. Stick it on the Falklands. 200 ft tall pointed directly at Argentina.

[Lewis]

They should have a statue of her there, but she would be spinning in her grave at a council forking out for that right now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Conservative councillor Robert Reid added: "She was the Iron Lady who put the iron back in Britain.

"Is it too much to ask that we underwrite this important event?"

Local Tories really are the absolute pits, if you'll pardon the pun (although half the MPs seem to talk like that now too).

[Disco]

Local politicians in general. I've always assumed local government was invented to keep those sort of people away from anything important.

[Shindig]

Yeah, that's the civil service. I've seen it happen. One day it'll be me. :uhoh:

[Lewis]

I don't know about this DEAL. The fact that the mongs can only cry about lost Erasmus beanos and paperwork ('trade reduction' lol) must be good signs, and no stupid shit has jumped out yet (or at least not binding Theresa May-style shit); but what an opportunity NO DEAL was. The entire Northern Ireland aspect still doesn't sit right (but then I don't believe in devolution, which you could justify it under). We'll see.

[Jimmy Floyd]

No deal would have involved so much short term catastrophe that it would probably have eroded the long term benefits. This is about as good as it gets, I think.

[Lewis]

It might have done in normal times (still worth it), but at the minute you would barely notice it. Now was the time.

[Don]

Apparently the new rules (raise in minimum wage for visa probably?) have meant a struggle to fill 120K vacancies in care sector with dirty EU immigrants. What a disaster. I wonder if any solutions exist to this riddle.

[Lewis]

Offing the people who need it.

[niko_cee]

Brexit cruising through the commons then, which is probably understandable. Who's voting against it at this stage, some strange alliance of John McDonnell's lot, Ben Bradshaw, MOMENTUM and the DUP?

[Lewis]

I'm slowly reading bits of it, and what I understand doesn't seem too bad. I just can't get past the Northern Ireland stuff, to the point where I'm half-tempted to write a letter for some official explanation of it.

[Yevrah]

I'm slowly reading bits of it, and what I understand doesn't seem too bad. I just can't get past the Northern Ireland stuff, to the point where I'm half-tempted to write a letter for some official explanation of it.

Does it make no sense? What does it say?

[Giggles]

There’s been extremely little coverage of the deal or explanations on what it all means for all parties. I know covid is #1 these days but it’s been years getting to this and I haven’t the foggiest what’s going on with it all still.

[Don]

We got the deal, you fucking melts, there's no more to see here.

[Kikó]

The vote is meaningless. Government doesn't need the vote to enact the agreement.

[Lewis]

Does it make no sense? What does it say?

Northern Ireland is still basically half in, down to stupid shit like not being able to take certain food products there from England (but you can bring the same crap in from there because we aren't anal about cheese). I think you can justify that if you believe in devolution, which I don't so won't, but the official explanation throughout has been that this is necessary to protect the Good Friday Agreement, which we're either lying about for convenience (which we can't be because the economics wouldn't justify it) or the actual government allowed itself to be memed into believing it by remainer nonces and Irish nationalists.

[Giggles]

It clearly does have to happen to protect the GFA, that much is plain as day. Whether the GFA is worth protecting is a whole other story though (it’s not).

[niko_cee]

I thought that meant Gaelic Football Association for a good few seconds there.

[Boydy]

It clearly does have to happen to protect the GFA, that much is plain as day. Whether the GFA is worth protecting is a whole other story though (it’s not).

True. Irish unification now!

[Giggles]

I thought that meant Gaelic Football Association for a good few seconds there.
Kicking out the 8 foreign teams :drool:

[Giggles]

True. Irish unification now!

270 road blocks, rename it Western Scotland, build the bridge to the mainland, job done :nodd:

[Ian]

Top Ireland becoming Side Scotland would confuse Sincere even more.

[niko_cee]

Scotland Detached.

[Lewis]

It clearly does have to happen to protect the GFA, that much is plain as day. Whether the GFA is worth protecting is a whole other story though (it’s not).

Nothing in the Good Friday Agreement prohibits normal economic checks being conducted at the Top Ireland/Bottom Ireland border, and it explicitly recognises United Kingdom sovereignty over Northern Ireland. The only border stuff concerns military installations, and we also have the Common Travel Area that pre-dates both that and the European Union effectively guaranteeing freedom of movement for the 'community'. There was no need to 'avoid a hard border', by which remainers/nationalists meant a normal border ('soft border' being an open border), and yet it came to define our entire approach. If Top Ireland wants to vote itself out of the United Kingdom then it is free to do so, but until it does then it should have the same status as the mainland.

[niko_cee]

Just seen that John Redwood voted against the deal. :D/:cool:/:face:

Ah shit, he abstained/didn't vote.

It was almost literally just the yellow parties that voted against it (and the green).

[Jimmy Floyd]

The sermon given by Blackford earlier was just one long string of made up bullshit. That is a proper banana republic in waiting if they ever vote themselves off.

[Yevrah]

At this stage we should be voting them off.

[Lewis]

The government will definitely end up buying them off with more powers at some point, influenced by all of those 'Federal UK' spastics who hate England, when in reality they should either just ignore them or give their existing powers to local government.

[Giggles]

:cool:

1344616812785364993

[Boydy]

It said on the news last night that he voted remain tbf. I wonder how Boris actually voted.

[Lewis]

If he wasn't lol Boris Johnson's lol dad he would probably be a Liberal Democrat peer and treated as some sort of authority on these matters, which probably says a lot about the peers and the authorities.

[Gray Fox]

Twitter says Starmer is going tomorrow, to be announced at 4pm.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why would he do that?

[Kikó]

Part of the brexit agreement as the window slammed shut. He's going to France for £13m.

[niko_cee]

Brexit paying off already eh?

[Giggles]

If things are bleak now with frozen stuff not landing on NI shelves, wait until the Buckfast supply dries up. It’ll be in ruins in a week.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-55622331

"Surprised, the driver then asked the officials if he could keep the bread, to which one replied: "No, everything will be confiscated - welcome to the Brexit, sir. I'm sorry.""

:harold:

There's a man that kicks the dog when his wife isn't looking.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been working with a number of countries (customers) on Brexit stuff - most of them are constructive and don't really care, but the Dutch and Belgians have been absolutely all over it from day one. Their starting point is that Brexit is the greatest catastrophe in European history and needs a billion pages of new rulebooks and contingencies as well as stringent rule-following.

Such is one's psyche when the French and Germans have taken turns driving armies through one's country for the last 400 years.

[Giggles]

If you can't bring it you can't bring it.

[Spikey M]

It's the glory he's taking in denying a bloke his lunch which makes me laugh. I suppose that's there type of baby dick you get working at border control though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you can't bring it you can't bring it.

Can guarantee you about 20 of the 27 states (including Ireland) will let you bring a ham sandwich in.

[Giggles]

It's just something small and irrelevant but makes good headlines so it's latched onto. Like the blue passports and stuff like that.

[Spikey M]

'You wanted to leave and now you must deal with the consequences'

*Drops crying childs Billy Bear sandwich into an overflowing bin*

[Giggles]

A lot of it too is because in general you're just not very well liked around the world so a lot of people would revel in being petty about it.

[Shindig]

I'd just eat the thing in front of him.

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/023/946/lemon.jpg

[Giggles]

That's exactly what I'd do myself :D

[Don]

1349280342117593088?s=20

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

That room he always sits in is so troubling, like his wife locks him in there as soon as he comes home so the children don't have to experience him.

[Shindig]

Every time it cuts back to him, the walls have closed in slightly.

[Spikey M]

1349280342117593088?s=20

:D

Little fucking worm. :D

[Spikey M]

Every time it cuts back to him, the walls have closed in slightly.

:lol: I'm 90% sure it's a skit.

[SvN]

That was so infuriating to watch. Reminds me of Michael Howard with Paxman.

[Don]

I don't understand how people let them get away with it. Zahawi or Cleverley on QT okay because only virgins watch it but GMB get millions of your commoners watching their show, right? Things like that may have been acceptable when the alternative was Corbyn but polling still has Tories up ffs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All you have to say is 'I was wrong to vote against it'. Changing your mind isn't a sin. Sure, a few lefty bots on twitter will seethe at you for it, but they'd seethe at you whatever you do.

The reason Tories are up is that Boris Johnson is way, way more popular than the educated classes like us would have you believe.

[Ian]

For the same reasons (albeit on a quieter, less sister-fucking scale) Trump has his dedicated base because some people just want to see the guy who's as unpleasant and as bigoted as they are tell the forrins to fuck off. And probably still think of Boris as the smiling buffoon he was trying to come across as when he was smearing an asian kid across a rugby pitch or getting stuck on a zipline rather than it all being a calculated charade design specifically to appeal to the hard of thinking.

[Queenslander]

That is how we have had non stop coalition since the mid 90s.

[Spikey M]

All you have to say is 'I was wrong to vote against it'. Changing your mind isn't a sin. Sure, a few lefty bots on twitter will seethe at you for it, but they'd seethe at you whatever you do.

The reason Tories are up is that Boris Johnson is way, way more popular than the educated classes like us would have you believe.

Exactly that. You just say that you were busy juggling the thousands dying every day, PPE shortages, providing daily updates, etc. and you missed the bus on how big a problem the lack of school meals was. Then you chuck Rashford a compliment on his work and Morgan will personally wank you off live on TV.

That shit was excruciating.

[Lewis]

I would learn every single tiny detail of the programme, insist on only dealing with Rashford directly without his pinko handler[s], and then bounce him into blaming the parents like when Joanna Lumley ambushed them outside the court.

'But we have to accept, and I think Marcus agrees with me on this...'
*nods*
'...that a great many of them do just piss it up the wall on baccy and computer games...'

[Ian]

"Look, if you didn't notice there was a pandemic on so I was rather busy deciding which of my school chums should get the next PPE contract."

[Kikó]

I would learn every single tiny detail of the programme, insist on only dealing with Rashford directly without his pinko handler[s], and then bounce him into blaming the parents like when Joanna Lumley ambushed them outside the court.

'But we have to accept, and I think Marcus agrees with me on this...'
*nods*
'...that a great many of them do just piss it up the wall on baccy and computer games...'

It must upset you that Rashford is employing people to help him on his campaigns that is shaming the government into doing the right thing. Pinko ffs :rolleyes:

[Lewis]

They're employing him and it's effecting his form in the middle of a title challenge. The kids can starve.

[Ian]

It's ruining his famed consistency and he's currently only on course to match his best goal total for a season.

Shameful.

[Lewis]

City and Liverpool should chuck a free shirt in with all the parcels to thank him.

[igor_balis]

can't believe corbyn gave rafael behr a heart attack, what a cunt

[Spikey M]

Have you been balls deep in Communist Twitter today, Igor?

[igor_balis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8EMx7Y16Vo

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://twitter.com/Peston/status/1353312690488401922

We have now gone, quite literally, through the looking glass.

[Lewis]

The fake/stand-in baby was the peak. That said, Peston broadcasting it without questioning whether 'Michael Govern Ready' is a complete nonce makes it pretty funny.

[Kikó]

Peston should probably delete Twitter.

[Spoonsky]

https://twitter.com/Peston/status/1353312690488401922

We have now gone, quite literally, through the looking glass.

I've looked at it five times and I still can't see anything wrong with the photo. He's just been trolled, right?

[Disco]

The phone cable is right there, you can clearly see it.

[Lofty]

The cable is in the reflection but appears to be at a totally different angle which is odd.

[phonics]

It’s almost like when your taking a photo of a mirror at an angle it creates issues of perception.

[niko_cee]

It looks weird for about 4 microseconds, before you engage your brain, see the cable, look at the angle of the photo and the location of the phone bit on the desk etc.

[Spikey M]

Even if we were to accept that it is edited, who the fuck cares?

[Giggles]

Even if we were to accept that it is edited, who the fuck cares?

Exactly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://twitter.com/pritipatel/status/1355816494089777154

I think this is a great thing, but the seething fury in the replies was an eye opener. People almost in tears of anger at the thought of any kind of immigration. Sort yourselves out.

[Lewis]

I'm looking forward to the 'Rugby has a Sinophobia Problem' pieces ten years down the line when they're out-earning the rest of us ten to one and taking eighty per cent of university places.

[phonics]

Can we shut down the political cartoon industry and reassign them to literally anything else.

I'm not sure there's ever been a good one in 250 years of print.