UK General Election 2017 - 8 June

[Spikey M]

It's front and centre on BBC News.

[John Arne]

I've been away from the UK for a long time, however, this feels like a rather substantial stretch... Is he right?

1179324753640865793?s=19

[Giggles]

Not quite sure what it is (well, apart from everything but you know what I mean) but she really comes across as vermin. Probably worse than the lot of the rest of them combined.

[Lewis]

It's a bit of a stretch. Especially when she lost her old job for being too [unofficially] chummy with Israel.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Absolute milf.

[Giggles]

Oh God yes.

[phonics]

I've been away from the UK for a long time, however, this feels like a rather substantial stretch... Is he right?

1179324753640865793?s=19

It's the quickest way to shut people down now. Just say they're attacking Jews. Toby Young accused Phillip Hammond of being an anti-semite the other day for this:

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BrOl_3p3tzM/XZCUne7y_fI/AAAAAAABRQ0/RPn1dmicNlw78ZZnYNg9x1EAGuv03e_9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Tobes257.png

[Shindig]

Words like control and surrender but North London metropolitan liberal elite sounds oddly specific.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, oddly specific but more specific to either New Labour (founded Islington circa 1996) or the current shitshow labour Leadership of Jez (Islington till he dies), Thornberry (prototypical sneering, Islington seated MP) and, if it's geography you're obsessed with the the honourable member for Harringey.

It's not a Stamford Hill/Golders Green thang.

[Shindig]

Thanks for clearing that up. London's just a blob to me with Tottenham in the North and ... nowt else to mind.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm in the far superior south London liberal metropolitan elite, although it's headed up by Will Self which is a bit of a pity.

[Kikó]

Patel was born in Islington as well, the complete tosser.

[Giggles]

:nodd:


https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2019/10/10/northern-ireland-burden-rest-uk-cant-let-get-way-brexit/ (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2019/10/10/northern-ireland-burden-rest-uk-cant-let-get-way-brexit/?%3FWT.mc_id=tmgoff_hootsuite)

[Giggles]

I'd missed this Friday.

https://www-rte-ie.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.rte.ie/amp/1082835/

[Byron]

Dead link.

[Giggles]

Dead link.

Was that mouthy house speaker fella on TV here last night.

[Giggles]

https://www.rte.ie/news/2019/1012/1082835-bercow-late-late-show/

[Giggles]

So it’s all actually going to happen then.

[Lewis]

If it's anything more than a slightly less shithouse SELL OUT than the previous attempt I will be surprised.

[Yevrah]

Presumably parliament gets a final say on it and we're back to square one again as, as we know, they don't actually want to leave.

[Lewis]

You would lol if it turns out to be a half-decent agreement and they still find reasons to vote it down. Presumably doing so would just boost the Conservative poll numbers though, so surely they aren't that stupid.

[Spikey M]

They would and they are.

[Giggles]

Sounds like the loyalist paras gave the bulldog the go ahead to give it the thumbs up anyway. If that lot are on side then surely it passes?

[Spikey M]

It won't get through Parliament/Lords.

[Giggles]

It won't get through Parliament/Lords.

Weren’t they (and their sympathisers) the only stumbling block the last time? You’d have to assume the deal is better this time round or it wouldn’t be this close at all so if they’re going to go for it what stops it? Or is it all change within the conservatives since May went and Bozo took over?

[Yevrah]

It's no closer than May's deal was yet as the EU had agreed to that too.

What I'd like to know, but I assume I already know the answer, is is this deal exactly the same as hers + a 7 page amendment to the backstop?

[Spikey M]

Weren’t they (and their sympathisers) the only stumbling block the last time? You’d have to assume the deal is better this time round or it wouldn’t be this close at all so if they’re going to go for it what stops it? Or is it all change within the conservatives since May went and Bozo took over?

He's doing the same as May did. He's gone to the EU to negotiate a deal. If he gets one agreed then Parliament will have to vote on it just like they did with May's. It would have to be a fucking incredible deal to get Labour and co. on side, and he'd also need his own lot on side. Don't forget how convincingly May's deal lost.

[Ian]

I'm seeing things here saying that this deal Boris Johnson is crowing about is basically just something the EA offered in the first place anyway. Is that accurate?

If so then it's about time the Ed Woodward school of negotiating found its way into politics.

Now for it to get voted down.

[Yevrah]

I’d love to know how it differs from May’s deal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Labour will vote down any deal, they are desperate for a no deal exit. It could be saved if there are rebels though.

You could see Jezza getting very nervous last week when a second referendum was talked up, that is his worst nightmare.

[Lewis]

I still don't think it's a particularly great DEAL, but getting anything out of them is something of an achievement (fucking LOL at all the media wankers). The Northern Irish stuff is significantly improved, and it seems to have moved away from bouncing us back into a customs union; but the rest of the shit stuff seems to have either remained untouched or just been shunted down the road (namely the 'level playing field' bullshit), so I don't know.

[Giggles]

I still don't think it's a particularly great DEAL, but getting anything out of them is something of an achievement (fucking LOL at all the media wankers). The Northern Irish stuff is significantly improved, and it seems to have moved away from bouncing us back into a customs union; but the rest of the shit stuff seems to have either remained untouched or just been shunted down the road (namely the 'level playing field' bullshit), so I don't know.

And this is exactly the spin he needs put on this practically identical deal to try push it through.

[Henry]

I still don't think it's a particularly great DEAL, but getting anything out of them is something of an achievement (fucking LOL at all the media wankers). The Northern Irish stuff is significantly improved, and it seems to have moved away from bouncing us back into a customs union; but the rest of the shit stuff seems to have either remained untouched or just been shunted down the road (namely the 'level playing field' bullshit), so I don't know.

LOL. The NI stuff is only "improved" if you think that making the backstop permanent is an improvement. I do think that, so I'm happy enough but I doubt English Tories should.

[Giggles]

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[Yevrah]

What is in the deal?
Most of the deal is the same as the one agreed by Theresa May last year - the main change is the Northern Ireland proposal.

The UK will continue to abide by EU rules until the end of 2020, and possibly longer, to allow businesses to adjust
The UK will still pay an estimated £33bn "divorce bill"
The rights of EU citizens living in the UK, and UK citizens in the EU, will be guaranteed

What's changed?

Northern Ireland will be aligned to the EU single market
The controversial "backstop" - that critics feared could have kept the UK in a customs union with the EU indefinitely - has been removed
Northern Ireland will instead remain a part of the UK's customs territory, so it will be included in any future trade deals struck by the government after Brexit
But Northern Ireland will also remain an entry point into the EU's customs zone. The UK will not apply tariffs to products entering Northern Ireland as long as they are not destined for onward transportation across the border
A joint EU/UK committee will decide which goods are at risk of entering the single market and the UK will collect EU tariffs on them on behalf of the EU
The Northern Ireland Assembly - which has been suspended since January 2017 - will get a vote every four years on whether to continue with the new trading arrangements
The decision would be based on a simple majority, rather than requiring a majority of both unionists and nationalists to support the rules in order for them to pass

Backstop aside, it's the same deal.

[Lewis]

I think if I was voting on it I would want assurances that a lot of that extra wank can and will be unwound over time, and that they've only left it as is because of time constraints. When Deadly Dom was still freelancing (https://dominiccummings.com/2019/03/27/on-the-referendum-24n-actions-have-consequences/) back in March he wrote about it all as follows:


Also, don’t worry about the so-called ‘permanent’ commitments this historically abysmal Cabinet are trying to make on our behalf. They are not ‘permanent’ and a serious government — one not cowed by officials and their bullshit ‘legal advice’ with which they have herded ministers like sheep — will dispense with these commitments and any domestic law enforcing them.

I would like to believe that.

[Yevrah]

He may well get the chance to prove it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I doubt he'll stay in government, unless he really does want to turn the civil service into the Apollo programme. I have a bet with myself that he'll be out on 1 November.

Lol if he does indeed deliver Brexit though, the lol being directed at basically everyone in Westminster except him.

[Lewis]

That's another issue. It could conceivably fly if Boris Johnson's Conservative Party gets [at least] five years to oversee it all and get us wheelin' and dealin' in the meantime. If the other idiots get in then there is more than enough scope to be pulled back into everything shit.

[Lewis]

I doubt he'll stay in government, unless he really does want to turn the civil service into the Apollo programme. I have a bet with myself that he'll be out on 1 November.

Lol if he does indeed deliver Brexit though, the lol being directed at basically everyone in Westminster except him.

https://i.ibb.co/DtNxsYf/EHGPL87-W4-AAbur-Y-format-jpg-name-small.jpg

[Giggles]

On the minuscule chance this passes, shit is going to kick off big style. Back to the warzone.


1185297459137990656

[Yevrah]

The deal is favourite with the bookies to go through:

https://www.betfair.com/exchange/plus/politics/market/1.163824572

Evens on it not. Is this the time I finally make some money from this shitfest?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The DUP are mongs, Northern Ireland would be the main winner from this. They seem to be more interested in some kind of 100 years ago religious fervour than the interests of Northern Ireland.

[Boydy]

The DUP are mongs, Northern Ireland would be the main winner from this. They seem to be more interested in some kind of 100 years ago religious fervour than the interests of Northern Ireland.

Yes, welcome to Northern Irish politics.

[niko_cee]

:D

'I take my lead from the DUP' has be the new, much worse version of 'I agree with Nick'.

[Lewis]

The Speaker having to vote for the government to break the tie would be the lol result.

[Yevrah]

The Letwin amendment is both brilliant and damming in further proving that we're getting no further forward.

[niko_cee]

Doesn't that amendment make it more likely that the deal will pass? Surely no one really thinks 'the plan' is to get the deal approved and then sink it to force NO DEAL BREXIT. Honestly?

[Yevrah]

No idea what they actually think, but "No" has gone favourite now.

[Gray Fox]

And so the circus continues.

[Yevrah]

I'm a bit lost now.

The amendment makes it law for Boris to ask for an extension, yet he's just said he won't.

Quite why we're passing laws forcing people to write letters is also utterly beyond me.

[Disco]

Incredible :D Arrange a special session to decide what to do then end up voting to delay their decision.

[Lewis]

It's all got a bit cowardly recently. By all means undermine it over time, but BOTTLING general elections and then this bollocks. It's pretty embarrassing. Especially from the Labour Party, whose opposition to what has been brought back seems to be that it will enable British voters to potentially vote for things that they don't like.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I heard Richard Burgon on the radio earlier, a walking advertisement for military dictatorship because if people as thick as him can get onto the opposition front bench then the system is very wrong.

Is Letwin an autist, a desperate remoaner, or both?

[Kikó]

Laura Kuenssberg is a shameful government mouthpiece. Awful.

[Giggles]

I've been out all day so what's happening? No deal exit on 31st or extension to January?

[niko_cee]

We're never leaving (of our own volition), but, equally, we're unlikely to decide we want to stay.

[randomlegend]

if people as thick as him

Meanwhile you continue to fangirl Dominic Cummings.

[Lewis]

Dominic Cummings donned the political, economic, and cultural establishment with Andrea Leadsom and a bus. Richard Burgon is arguably the least intelligent man in England.

[Spikey M]

I've been out all day so what's happening? No deal exit on 31st or extension to January?

They've not voted on the deal yet, they voted on some dickheads suggestion that 'even if we do accept the deal, we still want an extension to get our affairs in order'. And they voted in favour of it.

So basically, 'deal or no deal' we ain't leaving either way.

[Lewis]

All that wank about having to send the letter, so he sends one without signing it. If this works. :lol:

[Giggles]

(bearing in mind I've no idea how your parliment works), if he has an election and gets rid of the 1875 NI crew, can it pass then? Or is there too much other opposition?

[Jimmy Floyd]

All that wank about having to send the letter, so he sends one without signing it. If this works. :lol:

And sent another one with it, telling them that it would be a bad idea to do what it says in the first letter.

I think the remain people are in a corner now if even Soames, Ken Clarke etc are saying they'll vote for the deal. Still have no idea what the DUP are so upset about.

[Lewis]

They don't want a HARD BORDER, so they either seem to want the United Kingdom as a whole to remain in the customs union/single market, or they seem to think that should Northern Ireland come under some slightly different arrangement then they should have the ability to collapse them whenever they want (like the domestic situation effectively gives them). I would rather Northern Ireland had the exact same terms as the rest of the country, but I also think that their 'power sharing' is a joke. Logically, if you do accept devolution in Northern Ireland (with all the 'cross community' bullshit (emphasis on various meanings of 'cross'), how is this not just another devolutionary measure?

[Giggles]

This would all be so much simpler without NI but nobody can be seen to not want the kip.

[Lewis]

He's going to get them back onside by winning the election from a prison cell like Bobby Sands.

[Yevrah]

lol at the letter thing. As I alluded to above, if you pass fucking stupid laws then people are going to take the piss out of them.

[Boydy]

Let's just have a united Ireland. I'm fucking sick of Britain.

[Shindig]

Relax, guys. When November 5th rolls around, Extinction Rebellion are going to stash a load of gunpowder under the Houses of Parliament. Or just have a stupid sit-in wearing a bunch of Fawkes masks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I was PM I'd sell it to Ireland for the right price. No one here gives a fuck about NI now that they've stopped bombing us.

[Disco]

I reckon we'd pay them to take it.

[Shindig]

Send Banksy over there to work on the murals and watch the wanker money roll in.

[Disco]

'Murals to Belfast' could be the new 'Coals to Newcastle'

[Spikey M]

Shinners trying to sell Ice to Eskimos :drool:

[Giggles]

On the off chance it did pass a vote in NI, I’d like to think it wouldn’t get through a referendum in Ireland to take them. Yeah there’s still the few old romantic notions knocking about with people but once they seen what we would lose culturally and monetarily I’d hope we’d leave it with Britain where it belongs. The people, even the “nationalists”, are more like the Scottish than a real Irish person at this stage anyway.

[Disco]

It would tidy up the map quite nicely though.

[Giggles]

If you lot hadn’t been such blood hungry animals 103 years ago, or had a bit of backbone in 1921, this would all have been so much easier anyway.

And then to leave that mess behind coming back to bite you.

[Disco]

Everyone was, we just had the tools to do whatever we wanted for a while there.

[Giggles]

Everyone was, we just had the tools to do whatever we wanted for a while there.

Overshot it badly though out of arrogance. Don’t shoot those men in 1916, there’s no getting beaten by a bunch of farmers in 1921, and we’re leaving with the rest of the UK last year. All wrapped up in a neat little bow.

[Disco]

Happens to every Empire, those on the inside never believe it's fucked until it's far too late.

[Lewis]

With the benefit of hindsight partition ought to have been accompanied by kicking all of the Catholics over the border. It's odd how it never happened as well, given that one of the reasons we thought the Treaty of Versailles was shithouse was that it trapped millions of Germans in other countries. It's not like the Protestants had a massive majority even then, so throw in the ten kids per caravan on the other side and it all seems a bit short-sighted.

[Giggles]

It was the arrogance of thinking you didn’t need to ‘kick’ anyone anywhere that was another mistake. It’s been your downfall all over the world.

[Lewis]

How does that work with your earlier claim?

[Giggles]

They are some fucking shambles. All that's gone on in the past 3 years up there couldn't get the useless cunts back working but to block some rights for people and they're all over it.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2019/1021/1084614-stormont-assembly-abortion/

[Lewis]

Obviously we don't need devolution anymore if we can legislate things like that for them.

[Giggles]

Quoting Michael Collins :D Oblivious.

[Yevrah]

Jesus Christ.

https://youtu.be/EXgV6BY2qWY

[Spikey M]

She came here to lead, not to read.

[Yevrah]

In more Lib Dem news:


In a statement responding to Mr Johnson's and Mr Corbyn's earlier meeting, Ms Swinson said it was "more clear proof" that the Labour leader wanted to deliver Brexit, after 19 Labour MPs supported the bill's second reading.

"It seems that Jeremy Corbyn has thrown Boris Johnson another lifeline this morning, as six white men met to discuss pushing through a Brexit deal which will wreck our country," she said

Odd choice of words.

[Lewis]

Weren't the Liberal Democrats almost literally six white men until about two months ago?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lib Dems have made a big mistake going for revoke. They got giddy at the wrong time. Should have stuck with second referendum. They are now locked into being Rich UKIP forever.

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/ropr3Yj.png

I'm fine thanks.

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/oct/24/majority-of-voters-think-violence-against-mps-is-price-worth-paying-for-brexit?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Good work, Britain.

[Spikey M]

1188401906022047750?s=19

I'm not sure if she's being dishonest or thick, but it's not a good look for the 'Shadow Secretary of State for Business Energy & Industrial Strategy'.

Especially when she could make the same point fairly well whilst using the actual numbers involved.

[Lewis]

I would lean towards thick.

[SvN]

Using a comparison of sales to tax paid is stupid, regardless of the figures.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She will be well aware of that, all that matters is the tweet gets widely shared/viewed.

[Spikey M]

Using a comparison of sales to tax paid is stupid, regardless of the figures.

Yes. My point was that she could have just done it against their profits. Which, you know, is how Corporation Tax works.

[SvN]

It's also pointless because it completely ignores VAT. I'd imagine Amazon pay billions.

[phonics]

Can someone tell me how the Peoples Vote people have managed to fallout? How can you have a fallout and infighting over this?

[Lewis]

They know it's over.

[Spikey M]

Can someone tell me how the Peoples Vote people have managed to fallout? How can you have a fallout and infighting over this?

Probably trying to out smug each other.

[Yevrah]

I'd say it's far from over.

If Mr Corbyn is true to his word about taking no deal off the table then we're not having an election until the next legally required one (2022) as that's the only way to guarantee it not happening and this deal isn't going through either.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They know it's over.

But it never really began...

[Giggles]

A fucking extension. I thought Bozo was leaving on Halloween regardless?

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're trying to have an election, so depending on what happens there it might be sooner.

[Disco]

I wonder how granular the nit-picking will get before they actually have to do something.

[Giggles]

What's the plan then? Get into government without the DUP prop-up, give them the two fingers, and go back to this current deal? How likely is it to happen?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think an election is very unpredictable. The Tories are shite but at least have some clear direction under Johnson; Labour are a total shambles; and the Lib Dems have gained popularity as a Remain rallying point but are still as mad as a box of frogs. It could go in any direction but the government will be hoping for a majority which would then pass his deal.

[Yevrah]

If there is no majority or possible coalition then, well....

[Lewis]

Boris Johnson being rewarded with a decent majority after all this... I think the subsequent CHIMP OUT might top the lot.

[Disco]

It would be pretty lolworthy if all this fannying about resulted in Bojo sitting pretty on a bigger majority than they've had for two years. Surely Comrade Corbyn would be ushered into the basement if that came to pass.

[Spikey M]

Corbyn would get destroyed. The Lib Dems / Greens would inherit the Remain voters and Farrage has already promised to gift the National Front voters to Borris in order to get Brexit done.

Corbyn, the stopped clock that he is, is bang right to be avoiding an election at all costs.

[Yevrah]

I'm not sure I'd want this outcome, but were he to get a majority, bin the deal off and just go straight for no deal I would need the roflcopter.

Which is of course, why there won't be an election.

[phonics]

Got half way through the DUP speech in the house when I realised he was talking about sending 'goods' not 'coons'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure I'd want this outcome, but were he to get a majority, bin the deal off and just go straight for no deal I would need the roflcopter.

Which is of course, why there won't be an election.

He'd never do that. I work on the assumption that Boris's main concern is his own place in history, and if he did that he would assume a position somewhere between Nick Leeson and Jack the Ripper.

[Yevrah]

How is Nick doing these days?

[Yevrah]

Did Labour abstain again?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Leeson was appointed commercial manager of Galway United F.C. in April 2005, rising to the position of general manager in late November 2005. By July 2007 he had become the club's CEO[26] but in February 2011, Leeson resigned his position.[27] He still deals in the stock markets, but only with his own money.[26] In June 2005, Leeson released a new book, Back from the Brink: Coping with Stress. It picks up his story where Rogue Trader left off, including in-depth conversations with psychologist Ivan Tyrrell. In 2013 he appeared in Celebrity Apprentice Ireland on TV3.

Quite the mixed bag.

[Yevrah]

Mental health and white collar crime? Sounds a riveting read.

[bruhnaldo]

Heard on the radio you lads are getting an election :drool:

[randomlegend]

Maybe we should just elect Trump too.

[Ian]

I struggle with deciding which set of twats I think are the least-worst at the best of times but this one's gonna be a doozy.

[Spikey M]

Spoilt ballot again from me.

[Shindig]

Aye, I'm sick of this. Somebody revoke this bollocks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If there was a neutral party that wasn't also a hotbed of student Marxists I would vote for that. As it is, I'll think about it for a month and then vote Tory.

[Kikó]

Greens here.

[Yevrah]

I genuinely don't know at this stage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now I've remembered Dominic Raab is my MP, so it might have to be Lib Dem.

[Kikó]

Be interesting to see if it makes any difference in my area as it's Corbz land. I can't see him losing much of the vote.

[Giggles]

Is there definitely going to be an election or is it at the vote about a vote so they can have a vote for an election stage still?

[Lewis]

Portsmouth South is some Labour dickhead (whose office door is yellow to fool the fools around here into thinking he isn't a communist), but he only won it last time off the Conservatives by about fifteen-hundred votes. My vote might mean something this time then. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Be interesting to see if it makes any difference in my area as it's Corbz land. I can't see him losing much of the vote.

Lib Dems will gain in London I think but not by enough, Labour's operation there is pretty watertight at the best of times. The test for Corbz is how much of his 2017 rich educated vote stays with him and how much goes to the Lib Dems. People who primarily hate Brexit will do the latter, people needing to stay on the dinner party circuit will probably stick with Labour.

The main opportunity for Lib Dems is in places like where I live (maybe not here as the majority is too big, but places like it) where prosperous soft Tory-voters are worried about the impact on the price of those cans of Pinot Grigio you get in Sainsbury's. Those could go Lib Dem in droves if Cummings drives the message too much at referendum leavers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there definitely going to be an election or is it at the vote about a vote so they can have a vote for an election stage still?

Election will be confirmed tomorrow for 12/12.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitchin_and_Harpenden_(UK_Parliament_constituency)

Conservatives have always ruled here but Bim seems to have pissed a lot of people off by being a massive Theresa fanboy.

I will continue to not vote.

[Lewis]

I've just ordered ten-thousand 'It's Cummings Home' hats and as many badges.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't make me think about how funny it would be if he walks away from the year's antics with a 30 majority.

[Lewis]

Walks away to get his operation done, writes the greatest victory lap blog in world history from his hospital bed, and then comes back in the New Year to smash the civil service to bits.

[Shindig]

I'll vote Lib Dems but it won't make a dent over here. Fucking students and their 'NEVER TRUST A TORY' window dressings. Just give the woman with the awful smile 3 minutes of power to revoke Article 50 and then immediately cave into another election. Job done.

Unless revoking Article 50 requires some kind of voting process amongst the MPs. Then life is forever stalemated.

[phonics]

lol at believing a Lib Dem will follow through on anything.

[phonics]

I'm not sure why you two are blowing Cummings? Everything he's strategised so far has been absolute turd. Boris is twice as popular with the party as Cameron ever was and the only reason he hasn't had to resign or give up government is because the opposition are a bunch of absolute incompetents.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Everything he's strategised so far has been absolute turd.

This is something that Twitter wants to believe, rather than something which is actually true. Remember a month ago when they were in a massive hole and Lady Hale was donning them? Yeah.

[Yevrah]

The biggest credit for a tory majority should it come belongs to Jeremy Corbyn. I've genuinely no idea why he's agreed to an election.

[randomlegend]

They think he's cool in the same way the kids at maths camp think the one kid who doesn't have an inhaler is cool, as far as I can make out.

[randomlegend]

The biggest credit for a tory majority should it come belongs to Jeremy Corbyn. I've genuinely no idea why he's agreed to an election.

Did he really have a choice after saying for ages he wanted one and then was only refusing it until an extension was agreed/"no deal was off the table", which it now is?

[phonics]

This is something that Twitter wants to believe, rather than something which is actually true. Remember a month ago when they were in a massive hole and Lady Hale was donning them? Yeah.

What's changed in that time apart from Boris caving on literally all his red lines? 'No backstop' How about a permanent Customs Union in N. Ireland. 'Brexit by 31 October or No Deal' How about an extension? And he hasn't even got the fucking Deal passed yet.

Stop mistaking narrative for results.

Also lol if he does swap seat for a safe one as rumoured. Another masterstroke from Dom I'm sure.

[Lewis]

Everything he has done since becoming Prime Minister is aimed at making him look like the only person actually doing something. It's what all the Twitter dickheads have missed lolling at him for missing his own deadline. So what? The point is he had a deadline, and people don't blame him for having missed it.

[phonics]

Everything he has done since becoming Prime Minister is aimed at making him look like the only person actually doing something. It's what all the Twitter dickheads have missed lolling at him for missing his own deadline. So what? The point is he had a deadline, and people don't blame him for having missed it.

People who already agreed with him and would have voted for him anyway still like him. Master strategy.

You're giving him credit for Jedi Mind Tricking a black cab driver into voting Tory?

[Yevrah]

For what it's worth I think Boris has done alright since coming in, but it can't be overstated just how bad Corbyn is. Labour don't even have a coherent approach to Brexit.

Other than the commie fan boys (and surely they must be getting fucked off now) I don't know who is going to vote for them.

[phonics]

I mean, if I was allowed, I'd still vote for them.

[Byron]

For what it's worth I think Boris has done alright since coming in, but it can't be overstated just how bad Corbyn is. Labour don't even have a coherent approach to Brexit.

Other than the commie fan boys (and surely they must be getting fucked off now) I don't know who is going to vote for them.

I'd love for you to take a look at r/ukpolitics. It's a fucking Corbyn cult over there.

As for me Norwich South is a very safe Labour seat but the Greens have targeted it for the last few years. Will likely be them or possibly Lib Dem. The idea of voting for Magic Grandpa, (or his little gropey follower, Clive Lewis) is out of the question.

[Shindig]

Everything he has done since becoming Prime Minister is aimed at making him look like the only person actually doing something. It's what all the Twitter dickheads have missed lolling at him for missing his own deadline. So what? The point is he had a deadline, and people don't blame him for having missed it.

I do agree with that. He came in looking very hardline on Brexit and his actions were about making it happen by hook or by crook. You have to force Brexit and Johnson's been the closest to that with the suspension of parliament and such.

[Lewis]

Nigel sez the Conservative Party should have an electoral pact with him to protect the Brexit vote, but then says he isn't arsed about splitting the vote if not because Johnson's deal isn't Brexit. You can see why Vote Leave wondered whether he actually wanted to win.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cummings nailed him (and others like him) in one of those autismo-posts: all Farage craves is perceived relevance i.e. being on the telly.

[Spikey M]

He'd sell both bollocks and couple of inches for a seat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I doubt he has the inches to spare.

[Lewis]

Where did I read that having the Nigel Party polling at less than ten per cent helps the Conservative Party more? I think the theory is that the first eight per cent of their vote is all the 'YOU TELL 'EM NIGE' thickos who would otherwise vote Labour (or not at all), where as the next eight per cent is the more sophisticated people like me who will just vote for Boris to tell 'em instead. Either way, I'm not sure what he hoped to achieve with an endorsement from the Donald other than proving he has celebrity friends.

[Yevrah]

Getting the president of the US on your shitty daily hour long phone in is quite the coup to be fair.

[Yevrah]

Lol.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2019-50276679

They really do believe that there are enough people of the view that we should just switch Brexit off to make that happen, don't they?

[phonics]

Jo Swinson going on a media tour and getting repeatedly called a lying attention-seeking wanker has been very enjoyable.

[Lewis]

Meanwhile, people are out their suggesting that Dominic Cummings was recruited by the Russians twenty years before Vote Leave, and John McDonnell appears to want the NHS to make its own machines and medicines. Boris Johnson being the sensible option. :harold:

[Lewis]

Sorry, Our NHS.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brilliant deception by the Russian sleeper agent to write long rambling blog posts about the Brothers Karamazov, and about his experiences in Russia twenty years ago, no one would ever have suspected him.

[Spikey M]

Meanwhile, people are out their suggesting that Dominic Cummings was recruited by the Russians twenty years before Vote Leave, and John McDonnell appears to want the NHS to make its own machines and medicines. Boris Johnson being the sensible option. :harold:



China stopped giving a shit about patents about 40 years ago, so why not?

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I did my history of China course at uni (coming in with no prior knowledge) imagine my shock when I discovered they started sending in spies to reverse engineer all our stuff as early as the 1860s, when the place was essentially one big paddy field, out of a sense of national shame that they had fallen centuries behind the West. They could be in for a shock if they ever acquire number one status themselves.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I'm fast finding Swinson becoming one the most awful politicians regularly on the TV, Sturgeon and other SNP cohorts aside.

Likes playing the identity politics game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are all playing the same, very depressing game in which substance has been sent firmly to the back of the priority list and SCREAMING in the media is the order of the day.

I see the Tories have conjoured up a drop in the national terrorism threat level, while Labour are just screaming any old made up shite about the NHS to play for likes and shares. If anyone promises to raze the NHS to the ground, kill all the doctors and sell the corpses they might get my vote.

[Lewis]

I would need assurances that the razing and killing was going to be handled in-house.

[Yevrah]

Seeking legal advice over not being invited to take part in a debate is one of the more lol things I've heard so far this century. And Swinson is playing an appalling hand on the women's rights front too.

These people are all awful. We're heading for a hung parliament.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think Boris should be cheering Swinson on in all honesty, so much of his hopes rest on lots of 2017 Labour voters going over to the bar chart side.

[phonics]

They are all playing the same, very depressing game in which substance has been sent firmly to the back of the priority list and SCREAMING in the media is the order of the day.

I see the Tories have conjoured up a drop in the national terrorism threat level,

I love the way it's worded though. Just absolute babble.

https://i.imgur.com/gIfvs7x.png

Ah cheers mate, thanks for the good news!


I think Boris should be cheering Swinson on in all honesty, so much of his hopes rest on lots of 2017 Labour voters going over to the bar chart side.

I started the campaign hoping she'd pull out after a photo stunt of her 'dead in a ditch' went wrong.

However, putting out polling data where you start by asking 'In a hypothetical situation where there was only a choice between Rees-Mogg and a Lib Dem, what would you choose?', get the data back and find not only did you lose but 10% still chose Labour in this imaginary scenario. Looking at that and going, put it in the campaign material!

Fuck it, 5 more years of Tory rule.

[phonics]

Any of you nerds can tell me about the new Speaker?

[Lewis]

I hope he stops idiots clapping.

[Byron]

Any of you nerds can tell me about the new Speaker?

Deputy speaker for 9 years, Lancashire accent so incomprehensible and less prone to breaking precedent like Bercow.

[Ian]

"The by-ways of Lancashire are littered with the bodies of those who've underestimated Lindsay," one former parliamentary neighbour told me

Gosh.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2019-50297164


In a speech at the party's campaign launch, she will claim the extra £10bn a year will be due to the UK having a larger economy by staying in the EU.

WE'RE STILL IN THE EU. How does the thing we're at now equate to £10bn if we stay in the same spot?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think the most laughable thing so far this week was Nicholas Durgeon refusing to agree with a second confirmatory referendum for whatever deal she negotiates to leave the UK, should Scots ever vote that way.

[Boydy]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2019-50297164



WE'RE STILL IN THE EU. How does the thing we're at now equate to £10bn if we stay in the same spot?

It literally tells you in the article.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I was in a rush to get out. The thought had crossed me mind but whatevs.

[Baz]

The three “big lads” seem like equally detestable cunts and, seeing as I can’t vote for Stormzy like I want to, is there some online wizard test I can do to see who I should vote for? Or do I need to wait til closer to the time so all their pretend promises can be thrown into a deciding machine, and I can pick which ones I believe?

[Boydy]

Stormzy would vote Labour.

[Lewis]

I bet he votes Conservative once he's in the booth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's got to that time where I've had to turn Twitter off because they get properly hysterical in elections. Two-bit poets getting 15,000 RTs for saying the Tories are cruel and kill children, all 15,000 of those being voters in Bristol West, Camberwell & Peckham, or Brighton Pavilion.

[Lewis]

The stuff about American food standards is some of the most deranged shit ever.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christ Nadhim Zahawi got skewered and a half by brillo just then.

I saw something on twitter suggesting this is all another Cummings genius masterstroke to flush out all the idiots at the start of the campaign so people get bored of it quickly. I'm not sure even I buy that one.

[Lewis]

I bet about ten people watched it.

[Kikó]

How can you vote for that party?

[Lewis]

Even if Brexit wasn't a priority they would still be far and away the least worst option.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I voted Lib Dem once, in a council election or something. It felt kinky and dangerous, like spreading urine jelly on your toast. A vote for the Tories is a vote for butter on your toast.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A vote for labour is just dry toast on its own?

[Waffdon]

Vote Labour for jelly with your ice cream x

[Lewis]

Speaking of starvation, Tom Watson is chucking it to become a full-time anti-sugar crank. :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Vote Labour for jelly with your ice cream x

Exactly. Sickly sweet and only children think it's a good idea.

[Shindig]

The beeb had some first-time voter on talking about how Labour can give Britain the best deal for Brexit. I felt like telling her a blow-by-blow recount of every fucking vote Parliament's had for the last three fucking years.

[Waffdon]

Exactly. Sickly sweet and only children think it's a good idea.

The most Tory response imaginable. I feel sorry for your lot.

[phonics]

The beeb had some first-time voter on talking about how Labour can give Britain the best deal for Brexit. I felt like telling her a blow-by-blow recount of every fucking vote Parliament's had for the last three fucking years.

You do know there hasn't been a vote on Brexit with a party in the majority, right?

[Kikó]

Even if Brexit wasn't a priority they would still be far and away the least worst option.

What in the last 9 years makes you think that?

[Shindig]

And I'm sure a majority government of such force is just around the corner. A team all ready to sing from the same sheet on what you called, "A 50/50 issue" a couple of months back.

[Lewis]

What in the last 9 years makes you think that?

They've managed not to put John McDonnell in charge. There is an awful lot of scope for being acceptably bollocks when that is the alternative.

[phonics]

Tom Watsons gone.

[Lewis]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Downsizing-reversed-diabetes-regained-health/dp/0857838741/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=downsizing&qid=1573084645&sr=8-3

That shadow on the cover is all the nonce stuff.

[-james-]

Tribalism in politics is weird. I live in Scotland, so it's always "well obviously you can't vote for the fucking Tories". I come on here and it's all "lol labour how could you vote for that lot hahah", and there's generally not much substance to either.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There have been a couple of leafy Home Counties constituency polls, including in my home seat, and they're showing a complete collapse in the Tory vote with all of it going to the Lib Dems. If that pattern holds across all Remain seats then Labour are fucked.

[Spikey M]

There's substance to both. They're all lying cunts.

[Ian]

Tribalism in politics is weird. I live in Scotland, so it's always "well obviously you can't vote for the fucking Tories". I come on here and it's all "lol labour how could you vote for that lot hahah", and there's generally not much substance to either.

I honestly don't know how you could vote for fucking any of them and feel positive about it.

[Byron]

And this is the crux of the matter. My vote is reduced to, which one makes me vomit the least?

[Ian]

I think I'm finding it worse this year than ever. The Brexit stuff really has brought into focus what a lot of incompetent, self-serving bastards most of them are.

[Spikey M]

Spoilt ballots lads.

[Ian]

To be fair where I live my vote will likely make zero difference anyway so I may as well draw a cock and balls wearing a Jimmy hat on it.

[Lewis]

This REMAIN ALLIANCE between the Liberal Democrats and the Welsh separatists presumably makes voting in Scotland even easier for any unionist.

[Boydy]

Not sure what you lot want, there's probably a wider choice now than at any election during our voting lifetimes.

[Ian]

Not sure what you lot want, there's probably a wider choice now than at any election during our voting lifetimes.

I'd like one party to vote for (that there's any point in voting for) who aren't going to break everything as hard as they can. Or build the idea that they're not going to do that on wishing and lies.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If any of them weren't pathological liars it would be a start. The competition is for whose despicable lie will play best with voters.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Spoilt ballots lads.

This is how I want to feel but as long as Sturgeon exists as Grievance Minister of Scotland I'll have to vote for anyone against her.

[Waffdon]

I’ll be waiting on you outside Burnside Primary with my Nicola Sturgeon memorabilia.

[Boydy]

I'd like one party to vote for (that there's any point in voting for) who aren't going to break everything as hard as they can. Or build the idea that they're not going to do that on wishing and lies.

How are you defining 'break everything'?

[Ian]

Happily allowing the country to be demonstrably worse because it suits them.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I’ll be waiting on you outside Burnside Primary with my Nicola Sturgeon memorabilia.

That's ok, I'm always waiting outside there.

[Waffdon]

Touché x

[Spikey M]

To be fair where I live my vote will likely make zero difference anyway so I may as well draw a cock and balls wearing a Jimmy hat on it.

Same. It's been Tory here since day dot.

[Spikey M]

Not sure what you lot want, there's probably a wider choice now than at any election during our voting lifetimes.

There's left wingnuts and right wingnuts, sure, but I'd never vote for the Communists of the Fascists, so they're out. That leaves the cesspool in the centre, and Guy Fawkes had the right idea about them.

[Shindig]

With all due respect to the dead catholic, his idea was to hide a massive pile of gunpowder and hope nobody would notice.

[phonics]

Happily allowing the country to be demonstrably worse because it suits them.

I know this is a largely flippant comment but it makes no sense.

[Lewis]

Where did I read that having the Nigel Party polling at less than ten per cent helps the Conservative Party more? I think the theory is that the first eight per cent of their vote is all the 'YOU TELL 'EM NIGE' thickos who would otherwise vote Labour (or not at all), where as the next eight per cent is the more sophisticated people like me who will just vote for Boris to tell 'em instead. Either way, I'm not sure what he hoped to achieve with an endorsement from the Donald other than proving he has celebrity friends.

YouGov has a big regional poll out that appears to show this.

[-james-]

I was going to vote Green but I think I might chuck Jeremy a sympathy vote instead.

[Offshore Toon]

I live in the Tottenham constituency so I have the luxury of being able to spoil my ballot, but I'm not sure in what fashion yet.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Perhaps by writing 'David Lammy is a sanctimonius cunt' all over it.

[Lewis]

I would racially abuse him on it. He'd definitely get wind of it, but he couldn't post about it on Twitter, and that would absolutely ruin his Christmas.

[Offshore Toon]

I might just write out a couple of stories that took place in the local Aldi.

[Kikó]

I live in the Tottenham constituency so I have the luxury of being able to spoil my ballot, but I'm not sure in what fashion yet.

You live dangerously close to me.

And you missed the meet. 🥺

[Offshore Toon]

I'm still waiting for Teh Refuge Rovers v WhatsApp Wanderers football/wrestling match.

[Lewis]

https://i.ibb.co/r5yBrMg/rs-230404-RAW-07131999-0001.jpg

'GS couldn't be here tonight, but...'

[Giggles]

It’d be a mixture of an EDL rumble, a traveller bareknuckle, and the transporter.

[Spikey M]

More like Rain Man vs Forest Gump.

[Lewis]

This post-Corbyn Labour plan to have two leaders - one each from the 'heartland'/ponce wing - would be hilarious.

[Byron]

Because two leaders works out well for the Greens.

All Labour need to do is ensure they don't have a terrorist supporting cunt in charge.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This post-Corbyn Labour plan to have two leaders - one each from the 'heartland'/ponce wing - would be hilarious.

Keir Starmer: co-leader (the educated)
Angela Rayner: co-leader (scum)

What would happen if they then won an election using this genius plan? Would they have to marry and share number ten?

[Lewis]

It will still be two absolute idiots from their wing of the party (if you can still call it a 'wing' when they control it all), but one of them will have a 'regional' accent. My guess would be Dawn Butler and one of the stunningly thick Northern women.

[Lewis]

Boris Johnson vs the combined forces of progressive fishwifery should make for a decent few years though.

[phonics]

1193279348851314688

What idiot in the spin room thought trying to hide this was a better tactic than letting it happen and calling Corbyn a russian spy. Idiots.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If that's the worst thing in it then I don't know why they bothered sitting on it.

[phonics]

If that's the worst thing in it then I don't know why they bothered sitting on it.

One of them is Lebedev who was thought of as such a threat that they allowed him to buy the 4th biggest newspaper in the country.

[Lewis]

Without specifics people being 'named in' and 'included in' a report is meaningless.

[phonics]

Without specifics people being 'named in' and 'included in' a report is meaningless.

I enjoy how you went into a defensive positioning even though the only people discussing it were lolling at how pointless it was.

[Lewis]

I was reading the mental comments underneath it. Between that sort of thing and the 'Trump trade deal' piss it's all weirdly xenophobic from the Citizens of the World.

[phonics]

I was reading the mental comments underneath it. Between that sort of thing and the 'Trump trade deal' piss it's all weirdly xenophobic from the Citizens of the World.

The Trump trade deal stuff is extremely dumb considering even if we had NO DEALED our way to victory there's no chance we'd get a trade deal done before he loses in 2020. Smart politics though.

The Russia stuff all seems a desperate attempt to reclaim patriotism from the right.

[Lewis]

I don't think it's as well thought out as that. It's just bed-wetting disbelief if them losing a few things.

[phonics]

I don't think it's as well thought out as that. It's just bed-wetting disbelief if them losing a few things.

I'm largely imprinting my thoughts from the US rather than the UK but all those bed-wetters you mention basically see ourselves as a vassal of the US anyway. Going mental over a Supreme Court nomination because it'll undo abortion in a country they'll never visit outside a potential Thomas Cook all-included trip to Vegas.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they didn't blame Trump/Putin/Bannon/Cummings/racism/white people/old people/the fact that we had a referendum called in the first place/David Cameron/the biased BBC/Rupert Murdoch/the uneducated/those from an inferior gene pool/Cambridge Analytica/Jacob Rees-Mogg's stock options/George Soros/Thatcher, then they might just have to blame themselves, and that just wouldn't do.

I always like to go back to this clip of Keith Vaz launching Remainia at 4.53am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAjlNjdjN-U

[Lewis]

That seems a lot more understandable in light of the washing machine revelations.