The Cricket Thread

[Ben]

Now I've learned something here. I had assumed all Test matches should be played on a new pitch.

[Ben]

I know there's two tours of Pakistan in there to skew things a bit, but Duckett isn't far off averaging 50 since coming back into the team a couple of years ago.

This all-spin approach from Pakistan might be interesting considering seam took half our wickets there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Sajid Khan bloke is absolutely shite. Almost impressively so. 366 a dreadful score by Pakistan, could do them by an innings again.

[Ben]

The fumbled run out immediately followed by a full toss on the pads was circus stuff. :D

[niko_cee]

You would imagine this pitch would have to become a complete minefield at some point.

[Ben]

I guess that was their plan. Pick a load of spinners and hope we'd need 300 to win batting 7th on it, but as Jim says they could fuck it completely by getting whacked around the park at 6 an over the rest of today.

[Ben]

Stolen from cricinfo:


Stat alert: Fewest balls to reach 2000 runs in Test cricket: (where data is available): No. 1 BEN DUCKETT 2293 balls.

That's pretty mad. Although Harry Cherrington Brook can break that record by getting >=125 off his next 176 balls.

[niko_cee]

Well, this deteriorated rapidly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When did Stokes last do anything? He's going to end up like my 2s skipper who was last good enough for the level about 4 years ago, but everyone likes playing for him so he stays.

[Ben]

Ashes last year I guess. Averaged 45 with the bat and bowled some match-changing spells.

Did fuck all in India.

West Indies at home he did fine but it doesn't count.

[Jimmy Floyd]

India 39/8 at home to New Zealand, all to seam, are they accidentally playing it in Derby?

[hfswjyr]

Here we go...

Never know until both teams have a chance to bat on the wicket etc. etc.

[niko_cee]

No better feeling than rolling someone and then going past their score for no loss, I was going to say on day 1 but seems it's day 2, Trent Bridge/MCG ashes style.

[Gray Fox]

46 all out for India in the end. I need Kohli pushed in front of a camera to talk about it. I should imagine India Cricket Twitter is currently peaking too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Going to pretend we haven't just let Noman Ali take 8/46 and bowl us out. 1-0 England, should be a great third Test.

[Baz]

https://www.sporcle.com/games/MitherTap/west-indian-cricketers-or-english-villages-vi

West Indian Cricketers or English Villages?

[Shindig]

I knew one of those on sight. :D

[Danny]

New Zealand taking 17 wickets with seam in India? Cant even imagine the state the of the next pitch.

[thommo]

New Zealand taking 17 wickets with seam in India? Cant even imagine the state the of the next pitch.

24 of the 31 overs in the first morning bowled by the Indian spinners. :lol:

I don't think we're making day 3 in Rawalpindi. That ball to get Duckett ripped and basically rolled on the ground.

[Ben]

Rawalpindi looks a bit of a joke. I was fine with the Multan pitch, home advantage and all that, but having stuff roll along the ground on the first morning is pathetic.

Jim would be giving this thing bottom marks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They'd got themselves into such a desperate situation in terms of losing repeatedly that they had to do this. This one of course has gone much too far because they aren't bright enough to think properly about what they're doing. We've won the toss and Leach will piss us to victory.

[Ben]

Jamie Smith is so good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

At cricket yes, sadly not so handy with the rubber johnnies and so he's missing New Zealand.

[Ben]

And of course they bring in Cox over Foakes. Bazball.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Us completely pissing away what should have been a winning position is somewhat tempered by India seemingly having turned to absolute shite. Gautam Gambhir with whatever is the opposite of the midas touch.

[niko_cee]

Just the way we play mate (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c98e148524po)

[niko_cee]

The fufteen-fuftees are on the brink.

:cool:

Massive morale boost just in time for us to pitch up down there. :moop:

[hfswjyr]

It's quite a good time for test cricket at the moment, with all teams seemingly capable of beating each other on their day.
Who would have predicted Sri Lanka and New Zealand revivals 6 months ago?

[Jimmy Floyd]

We needed India to hit the skids. Aussies next let's hope.

NZ-Eng will be a good series, NZ are the better team but Eng individuals well capable of getting at them too.

[thommo]

It should have been 2-0 last time we visited NZ. Would have been too if the umpires had given any of the approximately 50 wides Wagner chucked down in the last innings.

[niko_cee]

This (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cvg0plvz0e8o) piqued my interest as one of my kids does street cricket which seems like some sort of central or county initiative, so I wondered if it might be going in the bin, but fucking lol at the idea of 'cricket domes' without even getting into the price differential between the one that has been built and what the rest will apparently come in for. Are all national level sports bodies just absolutely useless?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Most of them are useless, but the biggest problem over the last 20 years (which no one talks about for some reason) is that football has culturally eaten everything and every other sport has to run uphill on ice just to exist. I hear that rugby is in huge long term decline. Cricket will be ok for a few reasons although the pro game isn't helping itself.

[hfswjyr]

My understanding of grassroots rugby (at least in NZ) is that parents don't want to let their kids get all sorts of brain injuries and such.
Pickleball is the future.

[Danny]

I just opened cricinfo to discover that England played the West Indies today in an ODI. The second ODI in the series.

These schedules are all kinds of fucked up

[Jimmy Floyd]

The professional sport is absolutely fucked, which is a pity because the game remains quality.

I think at this point it would almost be better if the IPL went on a 6 month calendar spree, added another 8 teams and dominated everything, at least it would make some sort of sense and we'd all know where we stand.

[igor_balis]

The professional sport is absolutely fucked, which is a pity because the game remains quality.

I think at this point it would almost be better if the IPL went on a 6 month calendar spree, added another 8 teams and dominated everything, at least it would make some sort of sense and we'd all know where we stand.

Maybe J Kimber is right, and we just need to see franchise cricket totally split from the rest of the game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are 4 strands of cricket:

A. Legit franchise cricket (IPL, BBL, PSL, arguably Hundred)
B. Fixer funded franchise cricket
C. Trad cricket that can support itself (e.g. England test team, Surrey CCC, Ranji trophy, Aussie state cricket, Blast)
D. Trad cricket that cannot support itself (e.g. South Africa test team, Zimbabwe, Gloucestershire CCC)

There is a lot of naivety about B from the average cricket follower and indeed the media who are either too lazy to look into it, or looking into it is inconvenient for them, or it's just so shady that they can't prove anything. A lot of this stuff is increasingly T10 - a hotbed of fixing as you get a fast betting payout - and a lot of UAE/USA stuff. See all that quaint European Cricket League stuff that provides the funny viral clips? Why on earth do they have cameras and TV production at those games and why does it take place outside official board jurisdiction of ICC member countries? Because those countries are bound by anti-corruption rules in their ICC guise but if it's a shonky independent league then players can mill about on their phones as they please.

A and C are not a problem for anyone (apart from a small band of Telegraph readers who think all T20 is bad and WG Grace should be reinstated as England captain), the problem is massive flows of players away from D and towards B. A lot of it is agent driven but also cricketers are idiots and even where there are massive warnings about fixing problems and money not being paid, they will always take the instant cash or the remote chance of it because D really doesn't pay well at all. The BCCI have actually been pretty shrewd in blanket not allowing Indians to play in the shonky leagues because if they did allow it, literally 300 av to good players from the states would be going around the world boosting B leagues and completely undermining the A leagues. There are a few very suspect mini-leagues within India itself but presumably the BCCI have a handle on them.

The last hope left for the health of the pro game is that A and C decide that they really need a strong D to provide talent for them, and so choose (this is the big boards we're talking about) to financially stand up D even if it's out of fear that B will eventually come for them as well. This is also why the ECB want to sell Hundred teams to the IPL, because the financially stronger the network of A leagues is, the less B will be able to lay a glove on them. Getting Indian money into D will also be needed in the long run. Haven't the Delhi Capitals just bought Hampshire? Maybe it's starting to happen, very slowly.

The calendar matters too - we might roll our eyes at another West Indies v England white ball series but every day that Dan Mousley, whoever the fuck he is, is playing an ODI over there is a day that he is not turning out for the Sylhet Bank Robbers or similar in a T10 fixing frenzy, so it's probably a good thing.

Players complain about the 'schedule' when they are salaried but every last one of them will play every last extra league for every last penny (apart from the Pat Cummins level people who can afford to be the moral guardians of the game) so they should as always be ignored. Especially Sam Billings. He should be strung up from the base of old father time.

[hfswjyr]

Should be a close finish in India today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol at India. Might have fucked themselves out of the world test final in the process.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Half of the Indian social media reaction seems to be blaming Virat for spending most of his time with his family in London rather than in India. I wonder why that is, fuckos?

[niko_cee]

Is it because they all moved there under the Conservative's immigration rules?

[Danny]

Jimmy signing up for the IPL :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aus v India off to a suitably incompetent start. Nobody knows how to bat these days.

[Ben]

India are suddenly pretty pathetic with the bat at Test level but it's been on the cards a while.

Bumrah is a total cheat code though. Practically unplayable.

[hfswjyr]

Can we get a 2-day test match?

[niko_cee]

Have they rolled out an absolute minefield in Perth or is this a "just the way we play mate" type thing?

Australia's ODI series against Pakistan was mired with low scores as well, wasn't it? Whilst India were busy shitting it at home.

[Danny]

I didnt realize how "old" the Aussie team was. One player under 30 in that 11.

[niko_cee]

And of course they bring in Cox over Foakes. Bazball.

The cricket gods say NO (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c79zg42dw9no).


Wicketkeeper Jordan Cox has been ruled out of England's series in New Zealand with a broken thumb.

Cox, uncapped in Tests, injured his right thumb in the nets before the second and final day of England's only warm-up against a New Zealand Prime Minister's XI in Queenstown.

[niko_cee]

Also, things looking a bit bleak for the cobbers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Could be worse, they could be the Ivory Coast https://www.icc-cricket.com/matches/253335/nigeria-vs-ivory-coast

[niko_cee]

Can't believe it's ten years since Phil Hughes died.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bethell at 3, Pope at 6 for NZ. They really should murder us.

Nothing can prepare you for the first time you hear Bethell interviewed.

[niko_cee]

Not heard him so I'm hoping he's going to sound like Michael Holding.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I knew about his background but was expecting him to sound like the public school henry he looks like (and is). Nope.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brook 146*. He might be the second coming. Averaging nearly 60 after these.

[niko_cee]

Cherrington. :cool:

Seems a bit contrived, but closing in on the Don's 'away test average' is some going. The blick kips seem to have been uncharacteristically catastrophic in the field.

[Ben]

Brook again. Incredible.

Some great entertainment at the Adelaide Oval in the day/nighter too. Starc cleaning India up with yorkers, with a special mention to "R.Ashwin" for reviewing the plumbest LBW the sport has ever seen. Kohli failed again too. Then Siraj blew his top bowling as Virat stormed off the field in a sulk.

[Waffdon]

This Carse geezer seems quite good

[Gray Fox]

Well that tail got taken care of fast.

[Ben]

Carse is a weird one. He’s done fuck all in FC for Durham really. Just one of those guys who fits the Baz mantra perfectly.

I don’t think we can underestimate just how good this series win could be. They’ve only just turned over India in their own backyard.

It’s also wild that we’ve got a 533 lead in the second innings after day 2. Draws are dead.

[hfswjyr]

I'm beginning to suspect it might have been because India were shit.

[Ben]

The Indians are a right laugh here. Getting their arse handed to them but Siraj giving Head a big send off like he’s won the battle, neglecting the fact he’s smashed 140 and took the game away. Pure hot head that bloke.

[Waffdon]

They’ll obviously win but why would England declare with 6 wickets gone at the start of day 3?

[niko_cee]

They were nearly 600 ahead.

Probably got a golf day booked.

[Gray Fox]

Also gives the other team less chance to figure how to get your wicket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The fact that we've just strolled this series is mental. I thought it would be the other way round.

[niko_cee]

Got to say I'm absolutely here for us being terrible in series finale / dead rubbers. It's what the great Australian teams were all about before everyone went all clean sweepy after 2005. No great memories of Butcher's 173 or victories at the SCG in the kerb stomp era.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Test championship should incentivise you to perform properly in dead rubbers, though not if you're already out of it / have had all your points deducted for slow over rates. The Australian slow over rate machine rolls on, btw, I very nearly want India to win that.

[hfswjyr]

I just want Southee to hit two more sixes. That will do me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Trashwin has done a Graeme Swann. RIP, I maintain you were talentless garbage, no matter what your record and trophy cabinet says.

[igor_balis]

fuck off crawley

[Ben]

Trashwin has done a Graeme Swann. RIP, I maintain you were talentless garbage, no matter what your record and trophy cabinet says.

Correct.

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c2ldxxw4de4o

I'm sure this will be fine.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hopefully the neutral venue is Hove, or maybe the Grange in Edinburgh.

[niko_cee]

They should be given the same treatment England were in respect of Zimbabwe.

[Danny]

1875048371209310496

[niko_cee]

lol at India subbing on a bowler for a concussed batsmen in the second innings of a game. Completely legit.

Also lol at the lady cricketers getting absolutely brutalised down under.

[niko_cee]

The precedent you could set off this is also completely mad. Any batsman who gets hit on the head can carry on batting and then, once out or the innings is over he can be replaced due to concussion? It's like that very obviously stupid before they did it 12th man rule they had for a while in ODIs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meanwhile, a US tech consortium has just paid £144 million for 49% of the hundred outfit London Spirit. Am I missing something here?

[Ben]

Whatever we’re missing can’t be good news for the sport of cricket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The £144 million probably is though, at least until the ECB spend it on another massive diversity report to tell us we're all being racist again.

[Ben]

Champions Trophy underway to no fanfare, to nobody's surprise. Hosts Pakistan currently blocking the skin off it in their pursuit of 320. Not sure what their plan is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan cricket is absolutely broken. For this they seem to have picked the Test team but in a completely random order. Babar Azam 64 off 90 in a chase of 320 is a disgrace, and I can only imagine what a Fakhar Zaman 24 off 41 looks like. Shaheen has gone to absolute shit as well.

In happier news, I've got a game at the Oval in May. A shit game, it has to be said, something like Croydon schools v Lambeth schools. But that's one off the bucket list.

[Ben]

Just as you type that, Babar top edges one and is back in the shed. His downfall is almost as bad as King Kohli.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are going to be epically bad in this tournament as well. Could well lose every game. Prove me wrong, 'Baz', you chancer.

[Ben]

I know the answer but how come India haven't been told to fuck off for refusing to play games in the host nation?

[Jimmy Floyd]

England v Australia this morning started with Australia having the Indian anthem played for them, rather than their own.

Bit on the nose.

[niko_cee]

Looking forward to Head & Co blitzing this with 10 overs to spare.

[Jimmy Floyd]

13/8 available, fill your boots.

The analytics lads seem to favour dogshit spin as the 5th bowler these days. Probably because the batters don't have the patience to actually stay in so you need 7 of them.

[Ben]

Outstanding review from Shaheen. :D

Back and across first ball, smacks him half way up the shin. Insta sends it upstairs as if he's got bat on it. Replay shows he missed it by a foot. Gough in the booth can't believe what he's seeing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Afghanistan battering us everywhere after being 37/3. I'm very close to declaring 'Baz' a total fraud.

[niko_cee]

It's quite the watch.

:D

No one does being really shit at something quite like an England sports team. Anyone else would knock them off no problem, we'll end up in a heap.

[Max Power]

Liam Livingstone one of the most utterly pointless men I can recall playing a significant number of matches for England. He hit a big six once against Pakistan or something? Completely pathetic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can sort of understand the sixes/filth combination he offers in T20, but in this format it's ridiculously lazy to even think about selecting him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Also very telling that Root is the top performer in this side and the T20 maggots have all been completely useless.

Interesting that England have started talking about playing long Test series against every nation this week. Maybe the admins have finally cottoned onto the fact that the audience has zero interest in the franchise stuff.

[niko_cee]

Joe Root carefully stewarding us towards likely ignominious defeat.

Hello darkness my old friend.

I appreciate that reads slightly like I am blaming him, which is not the intention.

[Danny]

Liam Livingstone one of the most utterly pointless men I can recall playing a significant number of matches for England. He hit a big six once against Pakistan or something? Completely pathetic.

Dernbach.

[Waffdon]

That’s my terrorists :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are genuinely tragic. No accountability though, everyone's decided Key and McCullum are geniuses when it's increasingly clear that Bazball is actually Stokesball.

Buttler will resign (he was pretty much sacking himself before this game) and probably whore himself to the franchises as well.

[Waffdon]

Quality stuff from Azmat. Australia batting probably too good but at least it’s made it somewhat interesting

[thommo]

Outdoor nets tomorrow :drool:

[Ben]

I’m officially out for the season.

Weirdly I’m not even upset about it. Maybe my time is done.

[thommo]

Is that still the injury from last year?

At least you have all summer to get on the beers and do some scoring or umpiring, you can be the next Jimmy.

[Ben]

Yeah the first operation didn’t really do much. Need a second, bigger, one if I’m ever going to play again.

I think I’ll commit myself to putting money behind the bar rather than umpiring.

[Danny]

What are they saying you need doing?

I got clearance to start playing football again last week, just shy of 10 months from the op.

[Ben]

Cartilage replacement. Basically I have none on the outer half of my knee.

It's got a good success rate but it's not a sure thing and recovery is 6-9 months. I've got an appointment next month to get the ball rolling on it.

[Danny]

Jesus. You doing it?

[Ben]

Not 100% sure yet but leaning more towards yes.

[Shindig]

Wheelchair cricket is totally a thing. They get pads and helmets. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

We did outdoor nets last night. Makes the heart sing. Especially as I've been retired for years so my main role is to criticise others.

[Dquincy]

Cartilage replacement. Basically I have none on the outer half of my knee.

It's got a good success rate but it's not a sure thing and recovery is 6-9 months. I've got an appointment next month to get the ball rolling on it.

What do they replace it with? Do they take it from another part of the body?

[Ben]

What do they replace it with? Do they take it from another part of the body?

They take it from another part (less load bearing area) of the same knee as far as I’m aware.

[Ben]

Harry Brook's career in ruins.

[Clunge]

Insane opening game for us – would have been the absolute perfect start but we came up one wicket short on a completely dead pitch. Leachy bowling a casual 65 overs.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/scorecard/e-225640

[Ben]

That pitch is ridiculous for early April. There's two rounds each in June and July this year, what's it going to be like then?

[niko_cee]

Surely some 14 year old smashing a 38 ball century in the IPL somewhat calls into question the legitimacy of the format?

Sorry, 35 ball.

[Ben]

I wrote it off as fake cricket years ago. I barely even bother with the World Cup.

[Waffdon]

What a legend.

14 :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've found it so hard to watch any kind of pro cricket this winter, partly because the offerings have been shite but also because the whole atmosphere around it is more venal and dominated by Indian bollocks every year.

I was therefore a bit worried about the start of the spring and the season here - had I lost the bug? Been out there for three games and the answer is firmly no I haven't, absolutely loving it. Club cricket is simply a better sport than pro cricket now, I think - if anything, the stakes are higher for clubbies because the games all really mean something and it isn't just a payday.

This might be true of all sport very soon, I think, despite the apparent indestructability of attendances at men's first team Saturday pro football.

[Ben]

On the point of football, all the local level 7-10 teams around here are absolutely thriving attendance wise.