The Cricket Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's pretty amazing just how much Sanjay Manjrekar hates England.

[igor_balis]

Some heartwarming stuff on the bbc cricket fb page earlier. In response to the news of Gabriel's ban there was a predictable comment :

"How very harsh and unfair. Is ICC now going totally politically correct? Leave the boys alone and let sledging carry on!" (posted, obviously, by some old cunt), but pretty much every single response to this comment was calling him an idiot and saying how it's 2019 and homophobia is unacceptable and isn't sledging etc etc. Wasn't just young people either, plenty in their 50s and older chiming in to disagree with the dunce.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not even in for mincing Gabriel too badly, it's not a moral crusade, I just think what Root said and the way he said it was brilliant and it's hard to convey just how important it is.

[Max Power]

It was just so obvious and matter of fact. A statement that isn’t a statement because he wouldn’t even think it would be a statement. Even down to not throwing Gabriel under the bus and making it huge he handled it perfectly.

[Ian]

Not only that, but that that is what came into his mind rather than just having a retaliatory dig to whatever Gabriel said.

[Max Power]

The trademark Root grin would have been so easy...

[Ian]

"I recognise now that I was attempting to break through my own tension when I said to Joe Root: 'Why are you smiling? Do you like boys?'

"His response, which was picked up by the microphone was: 'Don't use it as an insult. There's nothing wrong with being gay'.

"I then responded: 'I have no issues with that, but you should stop smiling at me'."

So basically he got a four game ban because he crumbled in the face of the Joe Root Cheeky Chappy Grin.

[niko_cee]

He's had how many days to come up with that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He actually got a four game ban because his Level 2 offence (quiz me on Law 42, ICC) tipped him over the number of accumulated demerit points from previous offences.

I'd personally have had that as a Level 1 rather than a Level 2, although the difference is spurious to say the least. 'Obscene, offensive or insulting' for a 1 and 'obscene or of a seriously insulting nature' for a 2.

Gabriel isn't the story anyway, Root is, it's been rather hijacked by virtue signallers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sri Lanka making an heroic effort at Durban here. This bloke Duanne Olivier is the one-trickest of one trick ponies in world cricket, just digs it in short and hopes for the best.

[Ian]

This would constitute a Famous Victory I reckon, Jim.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When he monstered one of Dale's inswingers into the bleachers just now was amazing.

Not sure I back this number 11 if Dale gets one on the stumps.

[Max Power]

This is amazing

[Jimmy Floyd]

I watched that innings from 50 onwards, one of the best I've seen. He got hit flush on the hand on about 70* as well and I thought he wouldn't be able to carry on.

[Max Power]

Absolutely pumped Dale Steyn over midwicket with the new ball :drool:

After The quick single/overthrow for five I was sure they’d do it.

[Ian]

:cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Trying to think of the best Test innings in my lifetime. Lara v the great Australians probably the best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS5ETQrUmyk

Laxman vs the Australians in 2001 obviously as well, but that from Perera was right up there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was the wrong Lara knock actually (although also sublime), I meant this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz--5hHmNEY

[Ian]

You forgot Anderson vs. India. 83, was it? :drool:

[ItalAussie]

That was the wrong Lara knock actually (although also sublime), I meant this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz--5hHmNEY

That and Laxman are my top two as well. But without having seen anything but the scorecard, this Perera innings seems very special indeed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's weird, given that Australia are historically the strongest team in international cricket, how much weird stuff happens against them. All the instances of victory after following on have been against Australia, as has the highest ever successful chase in both Tests and ODIs.

[ItalAussie]

I've wondered about that. It seems a little indulgent to imagine that teams were motivated to find that extra gear because of how strong (and irritating) the opposition was, but I can't see much else to explain it other than chance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.wisden.com/stories/county-cricket/rayner-meschede-klein-county-germany

Sounds like I'll live to see us lose to Germany at cricket as well as football. Just imagine, day one of the third Test at Stuttgart, we get rolled out for 152 on a green one by their quartet of efficient seamers before captain Günther Batsmann smashes a century.

[niko_cee]

Hosts eh?

Sounds like we might be getting the treatment first (or should that be again?).

One of the pitches apparently being used is about 50m from my house, I assume tickets won't be necessary.

[Ian]

https://www.wisden.com/stories/county-cricket/rayner-meschede-klein-county-germany

Sounds like I'll live to see us lose to Germany at cricket as well as football. Just imagine, day one of the third Test at Stuttgart, we get rolled out for 152 on a green one by their quartet of efficient seamers before captain Günther Batsmann smashes a century.

Nah, the wicket won't be green. The wicket won't do anything and then their bowlers fool poor old Keaton Jennings (getting his 17th try at opener) by bowling in a ruler-straight line toward the off stump.

Which he edges to slip, of course.

[niko_cee]

Gayle 7*(24)

What's going on here then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

That is his MO these days. 3* (25) and then 90 (56).

[niko_cee]

Should be 10 and out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is absolutely dreadful in so many ways, but the levers make up for it.

[niko_cee]

Liam Plunkett's so getting dropped for Archer as soon as he becomes eligible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He seems to have suffered a massive drop off in the last year, just in time to have signed for the boys in brown. This England side stinks of having peaked too early.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Them not bowling Rashid until now because of 'matchups' is the worst kind of baseball-esque muddled thinking as well. Chaps, he's got nine sixes anyway.

[niko_cee]

Keeping Rashid back until the 33rd over is an interesting move.

Our fielding has been fairly pitiful today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In fact, their whole top six is left-handed except for Hope, so I'm not sure when they were waiting for the gap when they could platoon Adil against right handers. Bring back James Tredwell, England's ODI king.

[Ian]

That is his MO these days. 3* (25) and then 90 (56).

Welp.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, dropping him on 9 (and then a few times afterwards) was a bad plan.

100 6s against England.

:D/:face:

[niko_cee]

Roy obviously deliberately shelled that chance as he fancied a proper bat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is an absolute delight to watch, but I genuinely can't believe people want him to open in red ball. Do they actually know the difference between the two? He would average about 9 against a new red nut in the hands of Test quicks.

Middle order, maybe.

[niko_cee]

Seeing him come off in every tenth test would probably still be preferable to waiting until a tour of the subcontinent to see Jennings do anything of use.

Can't be often that a player actually makes up the runs he owes the team from a dropped catch.

[niko_cee]

Joe Root's stealthy ODI brilliance makes a strong case for him not being the captain of the test side.

Some solid trolling of 3rd man in this effort.

[Ian]

What's the line for a high no-ball?

[niko_cee]

Waist, at the point it passes the batsman.

[Max Power]

We are so good. Imagine once Jofra gets involved. #itscominghome #wasiteeverhome

[Jimmy Floyd]

But I still see that data from Moores
And when Fairbrother scored
Beefy belting the ball
And Goochy sweeping...

[niko_cee]

Waitrose on our shirts.

[Danny]

Kev and Piers still bleating

[Ian]

Beautiful, lads. Just beautiful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/26045366/bcci-mulls-asking-pakistan-world-cup-ban

I'm telling you now, they've all gone off the deep end.

[Ian]

Who would be left in the World Cup if only wholesome nations were in it?

[Jimmy Floyd]

New Zealand could just play themselves for 50 odd games in a row, it would be great.

[Max Power]

Sri Lanka at it again. Chasing 186 for a 2-0 series win in South Africa.

Oh actually not it’s a no ball. Another cracking Test match though.

[Ian]

Have the Beeb mucked up or is it really only day 2?

[Max Power]

Yeah final session on day 2. Lankans need 197 to win.

[Ian]

The state of there being three all outs in less than two days.

Still, 'mon the Lanka.

[Ian]

It must be quite annoying batting with Chris Gayle.

Shai Hope drops the ball into the off side and sets off for what should be an easy, if quick, single, and he's instantly sent back by Gayle. Gayle raises a hand in apology as Hope throws his arms up in frustration, before spinning and grounding his bat.

Does The Universe Boss just hate moving?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know which universe it is he claims to boss, but it must be one with a 5mph speed limit.

[thommo]

That is an utter shocker. Curran couldn't believe he'd actually been given out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Holder is a grubby cheat. Enjoy your next over rate ban mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/47339454

ECB think-wank truly hitting new highs/lows here. Particularly this marvellous paragraph:


We're getting people to re-appraise cricket in terms of their perceptions of what the game means to them, and ultimately addressing the complexity of cricket - presenting it in a simple way.

[Ian]

*vomit*

[Ian]

This score has escalated quickly. We were 13-0 or something when I checked at the start of the 3rd over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Should piss 400 from here. God it will be shit when we get mugged at the World Cup.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've been going at 17 an over since I posted that. We should rename the sport Buttler (T20 can be called Maxwell).

[Ian]

Fucking hell, last I checked we'd just been settling down to a more normal rate.

[Max Power]

This is absolutely ludicrous :D

[Danny]

Are the ropes on the edge of the square? This is nonsense.

[Ian]

That seemed to go from "These cunts are only going to chase this down" to game over in about ten minutes.

[ItalAussie]

I don't know if I can stomach an England-India World Cup final. But I also can't see past it, draw permitting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The one factor which no one has really mentioned for the World Cup but which I think will be the key factor in the whole tournament is the 10.30 starts. 10.30 starts in England, no matter how flat you make the pitch, are going to see the ball go round corners and in the hands of the right bowlers you could see some outrageous 130 all outs and the like.

I think India could be very vulnerable to the sideways moving ball and Pakistan (and possibly New Zealand) could come right into the picture.

[ItalAussie]

I would love to see NZ win the thing. Pakistan are a good pick for dark horse, given what you're saying there.

I would have agreed with you on India before, but I'm incredibly impressed with their pace attack at the moment. Even if they do have the occasional match where they go down cheaply, I'd back their bowlers to return the favour. Shami is great at moving the ball sideways - he came to England specifically to learn - and Bumrah could have a very high ceiling indeed. Kohli did seem to have gotten his head around swing last time he was tested as well, which is a big factor.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They seem to be trying to convince themselves to pick Bhuvneshwar ahead of Shami at the moment, but I agree. In fact, I'd even say bowling could be their stronger suit. Aside from the obvious, I'm not really scared of Dhoni and Kedar Jadhav.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've kind of had enough of Jonny Bairstow blowing loose drives into fresh air and getting cleaned up. Roy and Hales please.

[igor_balis]

I've kind of had enough of Jonny Bairstow

ftfy

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've also just noticed Kane Williamson's 200* which takes him past 6,000 Test runs at an average of 53, with twenty hundreds. Just proves you need to play for a fashionable nation to get the credit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When you get even slightly on top of this team they are so gutless they might as well be props on Omaha Beach.

[Pleb]

England :face:

[Pleb]

Saying that that six might put some form of life back in this T20 match.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's 130/5 in the 17th over of a T20. There is nothing to facepalm at.

[Pleb]

The bowling from the Windies collapsed it seems. 160+ seems to be a good score considering I'm a casual T20 fan.

[Danny]

Willey and Jordan bowling like men who know Archer is going to be better than them

[Jimmy Floyd]

Prediction: CJ will get in the World Cup squad off the back of these games.

I'd quite like him and Archer to get in just to wind up the various nations whose fans criticise us for picking non-purebloods.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrL7oE1Ko_M

Afghanistan setting off on a chase of 146 to beat Ireland for their first Test win, live on youtube.

[niko_cee]

4-0 off 8 overs.

Attritional.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I once spotted Andy McBrine in a bar at Faro Airport, which I think was the most niche celebrity spot of all time.

[John]

We used to have a thread for that sort of thing with some absolute belters.

[ItalAussie]

Prediction: CJ will get in the World Cup squad off the back of these games.

I'd quite like him and Archer to get in just to wind up the various nations whose fans criticise us for picking non-purebloods.

To be fair, you guys are basically the Qatar of cricket. You should be forced to make the ringers compete under proper English names. Joffrington Archibald-Boycott.

[niko_cee]

Trashwin kicking off the annual IPL fiasco-fest with a nice dose of mankad. Warne is seething his tits off. Good times.

Probably how we'll end up losing the World Cup.

[Ian]

I don't get all the seethe when a mankad happens. Spirit of the whatever, blah blah blah. Stay behind the fucking line.

[niko_cee]

The best bit is the list of reactions on the BBC piece. Variations on a theme and then you get to the bottom two. Some things never change.

[hfswjyr]

Mankad's are brilliant. How else are you going to stop batsman walking half way up the pitch before the ball is bowled?

[niko_cee]

I've not seen it, but I would imagine he was out of his ground by less than a foot, so the idea of it being there to stop batsmen being halfway down the pitch is laughable, they'd be getting conventionally run out all the time if that's what they did. A batsman should be able to walk in with the bowler as much as a fielder can (which also has rules implications as they can walk into the 30 yard circle to make up the numbers). The bowler should intend to actually deliver the ball, which it doesn't really sound was the case with Ashwin.

It should probably just be outlawed as a mode of dismissal, don't make the ball live until it leaves the bowler's hand or something. There's no real room for discretion or 'decency' in modern professional sport. Unfortunately, rules tend to go the other way these days (see the approach now taken when the bowler clips the bails upon delivery).

[hfswjyr]

I've not seen it, but I would imagine he was out of his ground by less than a foot, so the idea of it being there to stop batsmen being halfway down the pitch is laughable, they'd be getting conventionally run out all the time if that's what they did. A batsman should be able to walk in with the bowler as much as a fielder can (which also has rules implications as they can walk into the 30 yard circle to make up the numbers). The bowler should intend to actually deliver the ball, which it doesn't really sound was the case with Ashwin.

It should probably just be outlawed as a mode of dismissal, don't make the ball live until it leaves the bowler's hand or something. There's no real room for discretion or 'decency' in modern professional sport. Unfortunately, rules tend to go the other way these days (see the approach now taken when the bowler clips the bails upon delivery).

Agreed with the bit in bold, hence the black and white answer of getting the batsman to stay in their crease until the ball is bowled. Otherwise it's always going to be a gray area at the bowler's discretion.

[thommo]

Agreed with the bit in bold, hence the black and white answer of getting the batsman to stay in their crease until the ball is bowled. Otherwise it's always going to be a gray area at the bowler's discretion.

Weirdly, the law only requires the batsman to be in the crease until you would normally expect the bowler to deliver the ball. I think that's the issue in this case, as Ashwin has stopped in his delivery stride and waited for Buttler to naturally walk forward, as if the ball was being bowled.

[Danny]

Sam Curran :cool:

Opening and taking a hattrick

http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/8048/commentary/1175368/kings-xi-punjab-vs-delhi-capitals-13th-match-indian-premier-league-2019

[Jimmy Floyd]

Twitter around that point was hilarious, the whole of cricket twitter slating him and his million dollar deal, and then about 30 seconds later all doing massive u-turns. They clearly don't know who they're dealing with here. Best mental strength of any cricketer that age I've ever seen.

[phonics]

I'm seeing my Dad this week. Can anyone give me a quick rundown of the cricket (read: Are England good? Is there any lol story I can bring up?) from say last 6 months?

[Jimmy Floyd]

England are quite bad at Tests but quite good at one dayers and we might win the World Cup.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/47946381

Is Woakes one of the ones most likely to lose out if they include Archer, by any chance?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Willey said something similar the other day. I don't know why they're being so precious, this is professional sport and Archer is good.

[niko_cee]

In fairness to Woakes, he does say that himself.

It'd be quite good to see Archer come in and do something spectacularly shit to cost us winning it.

[Ian]

I'd be interested to know when it's acceptable to drop a player by their rationale.

[niko_cee]

End of a World Cup cycle, which would probably count for more if anything in that cycle had any bearing on the World Cup, but it doesn't.

Not like England to be approaching a World Cup with a selection saga in the offing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The problem with their logic is that by the time a side has 'been together' for three years, it's three years hence. Still, we'll see how he goes in the warmups.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Plunkett in the midst of bowling himself out of the squad.

[Danny]

Hales sniffing his way out of it.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/26610779/england-alex-hales-banned-recreational-drug-use

[Clunge]

Peter Trego donning it for the Wyverns. Legend.

[Ian]

This James Faulkner gay / not gay thing is a bit odd. It's not like people anybody ever uses 'boyfriend' to just mean a male friend. Precisely so that this 'misunderstanding' doesn't happen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Was very weird. From the initial post you could only conclude one thing. Also, who has birthday dinner with their best mate and their mum?

[niko_cee]

I can see how he could have been being jokey/ironic in the original post.

Difficult to know how to react if that was the case. Tricky. Having all your team mates coming out and saying good on you doubles down on the difficulty.

Of course, in this day and age I can't believe people exist who don't understand that irony and nuance are entirely impossible in the social media age, unless signposted by about 40 million emoticons.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can also see (natch) that he could have genuinely done it and then shat the bed. I'm sure it was just a misworded joke though.

[Danny]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/26647326/kumar-sangakkara-named-first-non-british-president-mcc

One for Jim :nod:

[Danny]

Afridi older than he says he is?

http://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/26654309/shahid-afridi-reveals-real-age-autobiography

[thommo]

I think that was fairly clear-cut from the day he burst onto the scene. I'm fairly sceptical of a lot of the teens/youngsters in the sub-continent.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you watch back the video from when he was supposedly scoring the fastest hundred in Nairobi aged 16, the TV broadcast caption says he is 21. Far be it from me to use Kenyan TV as a bastion of truth but I think their source might have been correct.

I've been told by those in the know that Rashid Khan's real age now is around 27 (fuck knows what he claims to be).

[thommo]

If you watch back the video from when he was supposedly scoring the fastest hundred in Nairobi aged 16, the TV broadcast caption says he is 21. Far be it from me to use Kenyan TV as a bastion of truth but I think their source might have been correct.

I've been told by those in the know that Rashid Khan's real age now is around 27 (fuck knows what he claims to be).

Rashid Khan is still supposedly 20 years old. He's the first player I think of when it comes to these age claims, simply because it's so ridiculous.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nepal have a few tasty ones as well.

[Max Power]

As with Yakubu and Kanu and others, I’m always more impressed by their late career records than annoyed by their early career exploits being under false pretences. Old Kanu banging em in the top flight at 44 or whatever. Afridi still starring in franchise t20 at 45. Good on the old men.

[Danny]

If you watch back the video from when he was supposedly scoring the fastest hundred in Nairobi aged 16, the TV broadcast caption says he is 21. Far be it from me to use Kenyan TV as a bastion of truth but I think their source might have been correct.

I've been told by those in the know that Rashid Khan's real age now is around 27 (fuck knows what he claims to be).

https://youtu.be/pc9_gwNZVXs?t=257

4:17 for those interested

Rashid Khan is a joke of one though, shaving a few years off I get it but he is nowhere near the ages he proclaims to be.

[Ian]

The delivery for Archer's wicket there was going at 90.3mph. Is that EXPRESS pace?

[Jimmy Floyd]

88-90 is where it starts getting hard to face (and the difficulty increases far more quickly than you'd think). If he averages 90 he is rapid.

[Ian]

Aggers says "He's been bowling 90mph with ease on a very cold day" which suggests he's been doing it with some regularity, at least.

[niko_cee]

Is it a tradition for England to bin the first match of the season in comedy style against a 'home' nation now?

[Max Power]

Ben Foakes playing a Dhoni innings here. No danger.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Huge fan of getting absolutely routed by a 19 year old straight out of club cricket. This tournament has come about a year too late for us.

[ItalAussie]

What's the incentive for cricketers to pretend to be younger than they are?

[Ian]

Jofrarcher strikes again.

[cricketfixture]

Tom Blundell Player Profile, ICC Rankings, Career Stats and Biograph (https://cricketdugout.com/category/teams/new-zealand/)

Thomas Ackland Blundell is an aggressive wicket-keeper right-handed batsman with right-arm off break bowling style who was born on September 01, 1990, Willington, New Zealand

[Ian]

Says you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know we just about won yesterday, but Fakhar Zaman is a proper legend. Go hard or go home.

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2019/may/13/jonathan-agnew-row-with-journalist-bbc

I don't really know what to make of this but Ronay's being a bit dim if he doesn't see where Agnew might have inferred that Liew was accusing him of racism.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Afraid to say I'm Team Liew on this one.

[Ian]

As in you think Aggers was being a bit racist or that his response was a bit mental? Because I'd agree with the latter. I've not heard /read any of Aggers' comments beyond what's in that article so I dunno on that front.

[Jimmy Floyd]

His response was mental. Aggers isn't racist but Liew wasn't calling him racist as such, he was pointing out that people treat black usurpers differently to white ones.

That said, the pair have a lot of history. Aggers is monumentally thin skinned and Liew can't resist going back for another dig.

[Max Power]

Petty squabbles aside the team could actually really do with Archer. Bowling is still not World Champion level. Although I would probably back them to chase anything against anyone.

[niko_cee]

The only way I can see it ending in tears is if we end up getting stuck in against New Zealand on some dank grey morning and Southee and Boult roll us for about 50, so I would imagine the ICC have been developing cloud generating technology for at least a couple of years.

That was all bit like that time we got what seemed a miraculous score against Sri Lanka only to have them boff it off in about 35 overs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Petty squabbles aside the team could actually really do with Archer. Bowling is still not World Champion level. Although I would probably back them to chase anything against anyone.

It looks like those four overs at the Oval have elevated him to cotton wool status. He is a joke to be fair, just ambles in and sends down 90mph rockets without seeming to try.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The only way I can see it ending in tears is if we end up getting stuck in against New Zealand on some dank grey morning and Southee and Boult roll us for about 50, so I would imagine the ICC have been developing cloud generating technology for at least a couple of years.

That was all bit like that time we got what seemed a miraculous score against Sri Lanka only to have them boff it off in about 35 overs.

Someone will absolutely nob us in the group stage, I can guarantee you that. New Zealand at Chester-le-Street is our last game so will be an ideal way to sap all confidence before the semis.

[Ian]

He is a joke to be fair, just ambles in and sends down 90mph rockets without seeming to try.

Yeah I've not seen any of the ODIs but one of the live text bods was saying this. That'll all change once the ECB Plan Makers get their hands on him.

[hfswjyr]

The only way I can see it ending in tears is if we end up getting stuck in against New Zealand on some dank grey morning and Southee and Boult roll us for about 50, so I would imagine the ICC have been developing cloud generating technology for at least a couple of years.

That was all bit like that time we got what seemed a miraculous score against Sri Lanka only to have them boff it off in about 35 overs.

https://i.imgur.com/C4u2kOu.gif

[Max Power]

It looks like those four overs at the Oval have elevated him to cotton wool status. He is a joke to be fair, just ambles in and sends down 90mph rockets without seeming to try.
Can see him playing a part in the Ashes as well tbh.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So this morning they're doing the branding launch for The Hundred, and someone has already pointed out that the stock image of cheering young men they used as the background is the first google image result for 'Male audience'.

God bless the ECB and all who sail in her.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can see him playing a part in the Ashes as well tbh.

By playing a part I assume you mean first pick in all five Tests.

[Ian]

So this morning they're doing the branding launch for The Hundred, and someone has already pointed out that the stock image of cheering young men they used as the background is the first google image result for 'Male audience'.

God bless the ECB and all who sail in her.

That's tremendous.

[Max Power]

It is also quite funny that their whole reasoning behind this nonsense tournament is to appeal to families and people who “don’t usually go to cricket”. At least find a stock image of a mixed audience maybe?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The website doesn't use the word 'cricket' once. It's like a sort of horrendous marketing hellscape.

[niko_cee]

Is Morgan being banned strategic so it doesn't happen in the World Cup? Or does it make further banning more likely?

[igor_balis]

It reminds me of Vince McMahon's desperation for the WWE to not be wrestling.

[Ian]

"Pitch Entertainment"

[Danny]

So this morning they're doing the branding launch for The Hundred, and someone has already pointed out that the stock image of cheering young men they used as the background is the first google image result for 'Male audience'.

God bless the ECB and all who sail in her.

It was removed and replaced.....by football fans.

https://mobile.twitter.com/tickerscricket/status/1128608525834444802

1128608525834444802

[Jimmy Floyd]

I hope you're all ready for this:

1128940408099299328

[Ian]

I feel violated.

[Ian]

I've only just learned that Worcestershire cricket club's nickname is "The Pears."

[Jimmy Floyd]

I went to T20 finals day last year and decided to adopt them as my team for the day, based largely on the fact that Moeen plays for them. Turned out pretty well.

YOOOOOOUUU PEARS sounds angelic after an eight pint day.

[niko_cee]

Jesus, that looked painful.

Have England ever had two 90mph opening bowlers in any form of the game before? Wood is ticking here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Did Devon Malcolm and Gough ever cross over as 90mph bowlers? Probably missed each other.

[Danny]

Think they were on the 94/95 Ashes tour together. Not sure if Devon’s pace was going by then though

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah and I don't think Dazzler was more more than a young buck at that point either.

[Dave.]

Think they were on the 94/95 Ashes tour together. Not sure if Devon’s pace was going by then though

I remember him taking 9 wickets in an innings against South Africa in 1994, seemed to be bowling real quick then.

[niko_cee]

No Morgan, no Bairstow, no show from Buttler, a mini-collapse thrown in and they've still chased down 340.


Andy Zaltzman

Test Match Special statistician

That is England's third successful chase of over 340 this year. In the entire history of ODI cricket only 12 teams have done it.

Mental.

[Ian]

Can't wait for us to BOTTLE it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We had a good go at bottling that game last night, but Pakistan's shambles experience got the better of us in the end.

I would say us and India should be a lock for the semis (although India's team is really quite conservative and very dependent on Rohit and you know who), and then the other two spots are pretty much up in the air. I could do without an England-India final really. Couldn't eat curry again.

[Ian]

How very James Vince.

[Max Power]

500 could be on today.

[niko_cee]

Massive jinx, but if Buttler gets anywhere near batting the overs out here this could be anything.

[niko_cee]

Huge top edge literally the next ball after posting that and Root out next ball.

:D

[niko_cee]

Fairly phenomenal work from Rashid there. Does he get credited that run out or does Buttler (unjustly) get it for the throw?

[Danny]

Cricinfo has them both listed but that last one is all him. Jesus

[niko_cee]

Yeah, that was amazing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fairly phenomenal work from Rashid there. Does he get credited that run out or does Buttler (unjustly) get it for the throw?

I'm not sure there's any ruling about this, traditionally it was just 'run out' and didn't go to anyone.

[Ian]

Rashid. :cool:

[Baz]

Received some betting info for the cricket:
Lads just done a bit of research for the cricket world cup- I'd be playing an ew double of KOHLI to be the tournament top batsmen and RASHID to be top bowler- ew top 4 at 1/4 odds on 365 at 160/1. Kohli is the best batsmen in the world and the best ever in 50 over cricket, India batting isnt that deep so he could play the anchor role throughout, i think they'll go very far in the tournament so more games = more runs.

Rashid- often bowls at the death when teams are trying to 'slog' it, this means he goes for runs but takes wickets. England are favourites and this is the best chance weve ever had of winning a world cup. I'd expect england v india final or england v aussies. More gams = more wickets.

The pitches will also get dryer and will benefit sub-continent batsmen (like KOHLI, pbest player of spin in the world) and also spin bowlers (Rashid)

Think they should both get top 4 and good chances of being right at the top. Play as you will but it will give you aa month of fun.

Any thoughts from you people who know about cricket?

[Danny]

Pretty sure that source has just picked the player with the most runs and the player with the most wickets since the last WC and fluffed it out

[Jimmy Floyd]

That reads like the author's never heard of cricket before. Picking Kohli for top run scorer is like tipping Messi for Liga top scorer.

For runs I'd look at Rohit Sharma, Babar Azam and Jonny Bairstow. Wickets, hard to say really, could be anyone.

[Baz]

That reads like the author's never heard of cricket before. Picking Kohli for top run scorer is like tipping Messi for Liga top scorer.

For runs I'd look at Rohit Sharma, Babar Azam and Jonny Bairstow. Wickets, hard to say really, could be anyone.Messi was top scorer. By 15 goals.

Are you saying it’s a good bet? :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

160/1 is probably right, looking around the double would be 120/1 or so but Rashid is probably underpriced.

[hfswjyr]

Do english pitches get dry?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The green English pitch is a myth really. You never see anything with grass on it, and if it isn't a flat road it'll just be slow and tacky.

NZ is the only place you see green decks in pro cricket now.

[niko_cee]

Is this our World Cup kit? Hmmmm.

[Ian]

It's pretty vile, isn't it?

[Clunge]

Somerset back to donning cricket. We’re on for the treble this year. Mega day at Lord’s y’day. I am currently still very much fuelled by cider.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You will never win the title, don't get your hopes up.

[Clunge]

My hopes are stratospheric.

[ItalAussie]

That reads like the author's never heard of cricket before. Picking Kohli for top run scorer is like tipping Messi for Liga top scorer.

For runs I'd look at Rohit Sharma, Babar Azam and Jonny Bairstow. Wickets, hard to say really, could be anyone.

You'd have to think it'll be one of Sharma, Kohli, and Dhawan at the top. This is based entirely on the fact that India will go deep, and they get most of their runs out of only those three batsmen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Six of the eight Hundred team names will be (Manchester and London 2 tbc):

London Spirit
Trent Rockets
Birmingham Phoenix
Southern Brave (yep, 'Brave')
Leeds Superchargers
Welsh Fire

So, so awful.

[Ian]

Trent Rockets sounds like it should be the name of an American sportsperson.

[Baz]

Also sounds like something Sadio Mane gets on the end of. :cool:

[Ian]

I didn't know they liked each other that way.

[Jimmy Floyd]

World Cup morning. We might well lose, you know.

[Ian]

You're not trying to suggest it's not COMING HOME are you?

[Max Power]

Here we go

[Jimmy Floyd]

Imran Tahir is a fucking pest.

[ItalAussie]

I'm all in on Team NZ, I reckon.

[ItalAussie]

I'm liking both of the uniforms on display here. England particularly is nice and classy.

Tournament is probably England's to lose, but it just takes one bad day at the back end.

[Ian]

Really? I can't be doing with the England kit.

[Ian]

I assume it must at least be good given our record in the last few years but how good is our bowling?

Because unless somebody goes mental and piles on a heap of runs here this is not looking like a promising score as it stands.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we get 300 think that will play ok. No guarantee of that though.

Archer is a massive addition to the bowling.

[Ian]

Apparently 311 already bests our top score of the last World Cup.

Which was the one where everybody else was smashing 400s all over the shop, right?

[Ian]

Archer. :drool:

Sounds like a massive fluke for de Kock there.

[Max Power]

Archer is the business. He is the counter point to the tiny doubts that have crept in about our chances in this tournament.

Fulfils three roles with the ball. New ball fire, middle overs wicket taker and good at the death.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Archer is phenomenal. Cannot wait for the Aussies to cry that he isn't English.

[Max Power]

That Stokes grab is insane. I love the change in crowd noise. A collective yelp of wtf.

[Ian]

That Ben Stokes catch is utter filth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As with all such moments, it's just a shame Mark Nicholas wasn't on commentary.

[niko_cee]

Is this just a round robin with the top 4 going into the semis? We should probably heed the Indian chiding and go for 500 every game, it's not like the format is going to be much of a worry if it's as described.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That win over South Africa should get us into the semis. We'll have to go some to lose to a lot of the others.

Weather to fuck India over would be a nice outcome.

[Ian]

The Windies ripping through Pakistan here. I knew we'd had a good time against them but just saw there that they've lost their last 11 ODIs, which is pretty grim form if true.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They will lose the next three as well, then win the subsequent 7 and the World Cup. It's just what they do.

[Ian]

105? Fucking hell.

EDIT: Joy of Six is "Calamitous Cricket World Cup campaigns

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2019/may/31/the-joy-of-six-calamitous-cricket-world-cup-campaigns

Includes England 2015, which of course inspired JimRage. :nodd:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mark Nicholas on comms alert as the 'desh give saffas the runaround in the early stages.

[Max Power]

Just turned on and have seen Soumya Sarkar paste Rabada through the covers and Nicholas is signing Smoke On The Water.

[Byron]

Lol Seth Effica.

[niko_cee]

'mon the 'Desh!

Saffers already on the brink 4 days in.

[Ian]

The Desh are bossing this.

[Byron]

I'd love to say they can't mess it up from here but this is Bangladesh after all....

[Byron]

I imagine that's it then, that's the last bit of Saffa resistance gone.

[niko_cee]

Why haven't India played a game yet?

[Ian]

I was pondering this yesterday given it'll now mean that as well as multiple teams having played two games already when they play it'll be against the Saffers who will be in their third game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They requested a late start following the IPL, which will make it very funny in the unlikely event that they tank.

[niko_cee]

I was going to ask is anyone going to win the toss and bat in this tournament, but I see Afghanistan did.

:cab:

[Ian]

Asif: India 'lobbied' the ICC for extra time to acclimatise in the UK following the IPL season, hence the strange scheduling.

It's on the live text, it must be true.

[Pleb]

Pakistan have suddenly woken up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All aboard the tamasha madness train to World Cup glory.

[Ian]

This is going well.

[Pleb]

Ooof.

[Ian]

I just Googled Babar Azam. That's one hell of a monobrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Babar Azam is a gun. Great news though for those of us with money on over 14.5 tournament stumpings. That was number two.

[Ian]

Mo. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fucking decades on and the professor is still haunting us in ICC events.

[niko_cee]

Should be a good test of England's chase anything theory, assuming Pakistan can kick on to something north of 350 here. Although, being Trent Bridge, christ knows how many is enough, pitch looks a belter.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The chase anything theory won't be enough against Cornered Tiger Pakistan. This is lost.

[niko_cee]

Not sure they have enough here, short of some spectacular fireworks at the end. They looked on for 400 at one point.

Will probably be enough once The Prof has opened the bowling and gutted our top order, mind.

[Ian]

They've been really up and down during this innings, variously looking well set for 350-400 and much less at one point as they struggled to get more than singles in dribs and drabs.

[niko_cee]

England have gone full Pakistan in the field.

[Ian]

So we'd need a world record here, right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

A World Cup record. The ODI record is somehow still the Mick Lewis Match in 2006.

[Ian]

Yeah I was just looking up the list to confirm if it was a world record or a World Cup one.

That top one is a bit mental.

[Ian]

Just remembered I put a MASSIVE bet on this morning that'll net me a life-changing £15 if England get a boundary in each of the first... three overs? I think?

One down.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, you're a winner, unlike England. You run into Pakistan in a corner there's nothing you can do about it.

[Ian]

I feel so ALIVE.

Had to go into a meeting so had my eye off the live text and come back to England looking a bit shit.

[Pleb]

Nothing new there then.

Getting to 349 is going to be :harold: at this rate.

[Pleb]

That's out :D

On second viewing it missed the bat, never mind :sherlock:

[Jimmy Floyd]

There he is again, Professor Nightmare ripping out our left handers.

[niko_cee]

Just had the "if these two bat 15 overs we'll be fine" thought, so, sorry about that, collapse ahoy.

[Byron]

Believe in the Jos.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan will come again when we least expect it and bowl us out.

[niko_cee]

Going to need a Butler special to get over the line here.

Regardless of the result it shows how important Root is in the batting line-up even if he doesn't offer enough in the pursuit of 500 to warrant picking.

[Byron]

Amazing that we can get two tons and not chase this down. That said, Pakistan have been brilliant in these last few overs to restrict the runs.

[Pleb]

Pakistan chucking it away with silly wides.

This is a proper MELTDOWN!!

[Pleb]

Scenes.

[Danny]

Pakistan will come again when we least expect it and bowl us out.

Hope you chucked some money on it.

Moeen looked like he won a competition to have a bat for England there.