The Cricket Thread

[niko_cee]

Another superlative contest between bat and ball unfolding in Australia by the looks of things.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Those bowling attacks are pretty grisly in all fairness.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, looking at the Australian line-up, have they picked any actual bowlers? Just Lyon? What's Mick Lewis up to these days? If this was a first innings his record (I've no idea if it is his record) could be in danger.

[ItalAussie]

Lyon's not really an ODI bowler, either. Hastings has been alright in this series, mind.

But really, this is just a shambolic series that shouldn't exist and serves no purpose.

[ItalAussie]

I do not like the Indian team, but I could watch Ajinkya Rahane bat all day.

One more wicket and we'll close it out comfortably. These two could still bring it home though.

[ItalAussie]

Slip catch in the last ten overs of an ODI. Don't see that every day.

This is a vintage collapse. Five wickets for seventeen runs. And they could still win despite that, if someone can hold up an end and Jadeja cuts loose.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So much at stake, too.

[ItalAussie]

Shambolic series that serves no purpose. :nodd:

Still, somehow despite everything, an interesting denouement has broken out. Although a couple of players have been found out for temperament; all Dhawan (R) had to do was stick around at one end at let Jadeja do the work. Then he hit the stupidest shot in the world.


EDIT: Captaincy has played a huge role in this, incidentally. Smith's been excellent, up to and including playing a slip fielder to ramp up the pressure in India as they caved, and realising that Rahane was going to be relying heavily on leg-side shots because of his hand.

EDIT II: Yadav's here for a good time not a long time. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are better bowlers in grade cricket than Kane Richardson for crying out loud.

[ItalAussie]

There are better bowlers in grade cricket than Kane Richardson for crying out loud.
Tell that to his five wickets. Wicket-maiden too. Don't see those too often at the back end of an ODI.

Of course, Yadav taking two gigantic swing-and-misses helped a little bit. :D

[John Arne]

India :face:

[ItalAussie]

Yadav's batting is a work of art. If he actually hits something, it'll be worth watching.

EDIT: Or not. Single to retain the strike. :D

EDIT: Oh Kane Richardson. What was that. This is a comedy of errors.
EDIT: Oh Matthew Wade. What was that. This is a comedy of errors.

[ItalAussie]

Are India trying to get out? What is even happening? Bailey showing them how it's done by actually holding onto a catch after two drops in the previous two balls.

EDIT: If Pakistan were playing like this...

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan playing like this would be a normal day at the office. It only gets Pakistani if they win it from here, and then the captain resigns.

[ItalAussie]

I will say, you don't often get to describe a cricket match as hilarious, but this has been genuinely funny in many ways.

[John Arne]

Snipers :D

https://gyazo.com/5dd9a018c60480c67329001e1f435d82.gif
https://gyazo.com/2ab8262c6c1e11a040a43473c9ea9923.gif
https://gyazo.com/faed17a646c8a20d116a688045516de2.gif

Is their a way to resize images?

[Blitz]

This goes down as one of my favourite collapses.

[ItalAussie]

9 wickets for 46 runs in the end. One of the better collapses I've seen.

[niko_cee]

Wait, India lost?

:D

[Davgooner]

They shat themselves in spectacular fashion. Shit everywhere.

[Max Power]

http://indianexpress.com/article/sports/cricket/pictures-tell-a-1000-runs-25-chances-10-year-old-pacers-30-yard-boundaries/?utm_content=buffer65888&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

More details on that twat who scored 1000* the other week. Shameful shit.


Unlike his son, the senior Dubey insists on not having been angry with Dhanawade. “Instead I was proud that my boy bowled 23 overs against guys double his size and picked two wickets,” he says :thbup:

[Jimmy Floyd]

10 year olds ffs. Why were media reporting it without checking anything?

Dropped 22 times :D

Bowlers now in counselling :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

AB now mouthing off about how England are shit and our bowlers are slow. Erm, mate...

Not had a good war, old AB.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.wisdenindia.com/cricket-article/maxwell-reignites-selfish-indian-debate/198297

A genuine attempt to troll the whole of India, especially the self-important knobhead Kohli, puts him right up there for me. You can even sense the deeply hidden seethe in the stoically neutral Wisden India author's words there.

[Danny]

AB now mouthing off about how England are shit and our bowlers are slow. Erm, mate...

Not had a good war, old AB.

I just watched the interview and he didnt say anything too outrageous for me. Probably not the best time for it mind.

[Danny]

http://www.wisdenindia.com/cricket-article/maxwell-reignites-selfish-indian-debate/198297

A genuine attempt to troll the whole of India, especially the self-important knobhead Kohli, puts him right up there for me. You can even sense the deeply hidden seethe in the stoically neutral Wisden India author's words there.

"Ravi Shastri argued that if Indian batsmen were selfish, Rohit Sharma wouldn’t have got two ODI double-hundreds, and Virat Kohli wouldn’t have been the fastest to 7000 ODI runs."

Not sure how that works as a defence :lol:

Liking Maxwell more and more.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The actual quote was 'One just gets the feeling that Virat Kohli wouldn't have whistled to 7,000 ODI runs like a tracer bullet'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh shit, I've just rediscovered the famous Shastri Seethe, which I thought the BCCI had purged from Youtube. Never, ever gets old.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n02C2e0SCCg

[niko_cee]

And to me, I’d much rather be 4-0 basically.

:D

[ItalAussie]

Cricinfo :D


Shastri did mention the tough schedule and injuries (one, to Mohammed Shami) as a mitigating factor.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Taylor has literally caught that with his penis.

[niko_cee]

'Bairsy' not having the best day with the gloves. I sense the looming threat of SCOREBOARD PRESSURE!

[Max Power]

Bairstow is batting really well at the moment but he is barely justfiying wearing the gloves. That's a simple chance

[Max Power]

Woakesy hitting the (middle of the) bat hard :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Everyone's FURIOUS about Footitt not playing. Why? He's probably bang average (and definitely will be after a move to Surrey at any rate) and you can't just 'have a look at people' in Tests or you get farcical scenes like that time Kerrigan shat himself, or worse still the Sydney Test of 13/14.

Also, Woakesy is world class at all disciplines.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The PA announcer at Centurion apparently said 'And now Jimmy Anderson has the new ball in his grubby paws.'

:cab:

[ItalAussie]

Shaun Marsh just took a fantastic outfield catch.

http://www.cricket.com.au/video/shaun-marsh-takes-hanger-in-deep-to-remove-shikhar-dhawan-australia-india-odi-highlights-scg-cricket/2016-01-23

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Australia/India series should be scrubbed from the records.

In other news... http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc-under-19-world-cup-2016/engine/match/949683.html

I know it's only Namibia in a warm up game, but HERE'S JOHNNY.

[Max Power]

Everyone's FURIOUS about Footitt not playing. Why? He's probably bang average (and definitely will be after a move to Surrey at any rate) and you can't just 'have a look at people' in Tests or you get farcical scenes like that time Kerrigan shat himself, or worse still the Sydney Test of 13/14.

Also, Woakesy is world class at all disciplines.
Woakes also made his debut in that Kerrigan game didn't he? The start of a wonderful journey.

That Sydney Test was hilarious. Big Boyd Rankin kept getting cramp.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He did, batting six :D

Currently in Tests he has 8 wickets at 55, but I believe.

[Max Power]

Stokes is improving with the ball every match he plays (that big booming inswinger :drool:). It means you could take more of a risk with that other bowling slot. Not necessarily Footitt, just someone a bit more interesting than bloody Woakes and his stupid FM regen face.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You could even just go CJ, for all his crap leg side alignment, and at least you gain some fucking ability to catch anything at slip.

Poor old Woakesy. High 'chance creation' from him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What exactly is Dhoni playing at here?

[Max Power]

:sherlock:

Can't need the money surely?

[Ian]

Everyone's FURIOUS about Footitt not playing. Why? He's probably bang average (and definitely will be after a move to Surrey at any rate) and you can't just 'have a look at people' in Tests or you get farcical scenes like that time Kerrigan shat himself

The mere mention of his name has me chuckling at Bob's amazing critique of him in that match. "Simple Simon was the pie-man today."

I never tire of it.

[niko_cee]

More stellar catching today.

Which Cook is the leading run scorer in this series? Has Stephen gone past Alistair with that one innings?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yep. 115 plays 103. Compdog ahead of AB :cool:

It's partly the pitch but we look completely toothless here. They could get 600 yet.

[Ian]

The Joy of Six does run-outs.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2016/jan/15/the-joy-of-six-run-outs

[Max Power]

That Roger Harper one :drool:

No runout compilation can be complete without some Inzy comedy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQh70VV-RaY

[niko_cee]

This De Kock innings is turning into one of those Angelo Matthews style efforts that blighted us a few years back.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I never get these passages of play. The last hour has just been time donated back to England.

Root will score a hundred.

[niko_cee]

Hales really needs to add to the maiden hundred series/match tally.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, bring back Lyth. Or stick Compdog up to 'see off the new ball' with Chef before the rest can tee off with their aggressive brand of cricket. In that case bring back Buttler and go with 2 'keepers (one glove each).

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Hales dismissal here was the worst so far. I would rather have one aggressive opener and Compton at 3 personally. Maybe Hales is that man but stop fucking wafting like a girl.

These two are ridiculously good. Especially Root.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rabada is immense. Best young quick for years.

[niko_cee]

Not the best from the wee man there. Bairstow needs to repay some of the dropped catch deficit he built up. Woakes to carry us through.

[niko_cee]

Nice one Johnny.

Back to his best.

[Davgooner]

We used to be so good in dead rubbers.

[niko_cee]

Aye, but only when we were the dead ones. We've always played them the right way from a position of dominance.

If we can just avoid the follow on this could turn into a classic. Get set something big and just fucking go for it. Maybe that'll set Hales on the right track.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Knowing South Africa we'll get set 564 in two and a half sessions or something.

Move your feet, Mo.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Newsflash: Woakes about to bat. Clear the bar.

[ItalAussie]

So I'm keeping tabs in Cricinfo, and Rabada seems to be doing the business. Any of you watching? Beginner's luck, or special talent?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm watching. Rabada is god tier.

Woakes dropped on 1. You can't afford to give players like this a second chance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Follow on: saved.

http://www.cricket.com.au/~/media/Players/Men/International/England/chris-woakes-eng.ashx

[hfswjyr]

NZ look to be on the ropes here (according to Cricinfo anyway). When did Pakistan start taking cricket seriously again?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan are perfectly bonkers and if they do anything in the World T20 in India, well, what scenes.

Under 19 World Cup starts on Wednesday. India seem to have crowned themselves favourites, and they do have batting but as ever no bowling that I can see. Australia have pulled out due to security concerns, but everyone else is there.

England's first game is against Fiji, which is a lol fixture in itself but this is our best squad for ages and I think we could win it. These are some of the names.

Dan Lawrence, Essex opening batsman, glorious technique, could be one to look out for. Seems more from the Nasser Hussain school of Essex boy than the Alastair Cook school, which is kind of a nice change.
Max Holder, Middlesex top order player, not seen him but good rep despite being called Max.
Aneurin Donald, Glamorgan batsman with a pleasingly Welsh name, has already done well in county cricket.
Mason Crane, Hampshire leg spinner, a lot of hype about him in the summer. I've only seen him once, on TV, but I like him a lot. Not seen as good a teenage spinner in England for years, at any rate.
Sam Curran, Surrey left arm opening bowler and middle order batsman. I have gone on about him before and you'll have to filter this claim through both giddiness and Surrey bias, but having watched him in the flesh on four or five occasions last summer I just can't see how he won't become one of the all time greats. In England terms we're looking at a once in 50 years type player.
Brad Taylor, Hampshire, left arm tweak and captain, very handy.

Players from other countries to look out for:

Ishan Kishan of India, could be the best batsman at the tournament. Said to be an expansive sort.
Nazmul Hossain, Bangladesh batsman.
Sameen Gul, very young Pakistan seamer, although you never know in Pakistan where age is concerned.
Shimron Hetmyer, West Indies batsman, probably shit but someone has to be optimistic for WI, right?
Rivaldo Moonsamy, South African batsman, quality name, supposed to be quite good.

The associates might have the next Lara for all I know but obviously know nothing about them, and Australia could have a full team of McGraths but they're not playing so we shall never know. It's on Sky.

[Ian]

What sort of supervillain name is Mason Crane?

[niko_cee]

Anderson to run through them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sounds like an accountancy firm to me.

AB de Villiers suffering from a severe case of chat shit get banged.

[Davgooner]

Oh dear AB. Oh dear.

We probably need to roll them for under 150 to have a proper shot. I reckon Cricinfo needs ICC-like icons to show the state of the pitch and get our hopes us.

[niko_cee]

Chasing 350 in 4/5 sessions should make for a good game, but they'll probably go for the type of declaration Jimmy said unless we force their hand by taking wickets.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is now 'on an Audi' as the saying goes. Don't tell him or he'll threaten to retire again.

I can't imagine anyone's reputation taking as big a battering in a single series as his has. Well, maybe Hansie Cronje.

[Davgooner]

James Taylor will catch a couple in his jap's eye and they'll collapse for 120.

[Max Power]

A wise man once said "you have to be prepared to lose to win". Need to think about a declaration AB, it's gonna rain tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looks like I might have overestimated their boldness. 721 in 38 minutes would be a good chase.

[Max Power]

Ben Stokes would genuinely have a go at that target.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sure I just saw Gene Kelly skipping across the outfield lolling at AB.

[John Arne]

A wise man once said "you have to be prepared to lose to win". Need to think about a declaration AB, it's gonna rain tomorrow.

He didn't really "say it", more like screamed like a girl and repeated himself over and over until everyone else told him to shut the fuck up. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hales 136 runs for the series at 17.00. That's fairly shit. I'm undecided as to whether he gets Sri Lanka.

[Max Power]

Compton and Root to move up a spot and James Vince in.

[Davgooner]

Compton needs to fuck off as well.

[Max Power]

Good review tbf

[Max Power]

330 needed. Piece of piss as long as the weather holds out for us tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

These two bat until lunch, that's 240 needed, then Stokes goes on a rampage leaving Moeen to caress 75 in the final session.

[niko_cee]

Wrong thread.

:cab:

So yeah, should be a piece of piss, as long as we avoid the inevitable opening over wicket (and pre-lunch collapse).

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Root glides one through to de Kock in the first half hour we should probably have him kidnapped for a bit, just as a friendly warning.

[Danny]

I wonder what the stats are on Root starting the next morning. Pretty sure they are not good.

Hopefully Taylor can get a confidence building innings.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He didn't even make it to the official start of play.

Classic stuff from Bairstow, nicking behind, trudges off, Rabada has a maiden ten-for, but oh no, it was a no ball. Bairstow comes back on, takes guard again, faces the next ball, nicks off again.

As if they didn't pick Rabada for the first Test.

[niko_cee]

Forgot this was on.

Woakes double ton.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The lack of effort at times like this is what will hold us back from being a properly good side. You can't just not care about the result of an international (see also: every England ODI ever).

[Davgooner]

Christ. Show some fight for fuck sake.

[Davgooner]

Wankers.

[Cord]

Well done England on making my desperately needed working day entertainment last a whopping seven minutes.

Did they 'England' that, or were they actually got out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rabada 13 wickets. Fucking hell.

[niko_cee]

Well, that escalated quickly.

[John Arne]

South Africa Tour Stats

https://gyazo.com/38f18df9c9e9b9bc119f72fbf335eb0c.png

[Jimmy Floyd]

Moeen averaging more than Taylor, Cook and Hales is a bit of an eye opener.

Poor Woakesy. I'm pretty sure the two most laughable drops were both off him, once Amla and once de Kock.

How fucking good is Root.

[Ian]

The lack of effort at times like this is what will hold us back from being a properly good side. You can't just not care about the result of an international (see also: every England ODI ever).

I've thought before when we're gimping about during dead matches that this is why we don't smash teams and sweep a good series even when we're possibly good enough to do so. The best teams absolutely fucking hate losing and adore winning. England teams seem to get a bit miffed at losing and quite like winning.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bob Willis on Stokes just then was golden.

And on Woakes. 'Get back to Birmingham for the rest of your career'.

[ItalAussie]

The lack of effort at times like this is what will hold us back from being a properly good side. You can't just not care about the result of an international (see also: every England ODI ever).
I don't know that this is such a problem. Australia throughout the '90s was particularly famous for losing dead rubbers, and they went alright.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You didn't used to go down in a ridiculous heap of apathy like the Oval '15 and Centurion '16 though.

[ItalAussie]

We didn't tend to collapse in a pile, but Australia's dead rubber record is the only reason anyone remembers Mark Butcher's test career.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Poor Butch. He also had a great hundred against Donald, Pollock, Kallis and (a young) Ntini in the decisive Test Headingley in 98. Absolutely love Butch. I've met him twice, once when I was a kid and once as an adult, and he is the definition of a top geezer.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uAjWGQEiJQ

[Max Power]

Good pundit. Him and Rob Key are in fact. Never quite cracking the big time though, just like their careers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He should really get a promotion to the main team once Beefy drinks/slurs himself to death or Bumble falls off his rocking horse. I bet they'll get Kay fucking Pee though.

The other night on The Verdict they had a lineup of Butch, the Gaffer, Bob Willis (Surrey yoof player before moving to Warwickshire) and Charles (once on the Surrey committee). I nearly got aroused.

[Ian]

Yeah, he's good on the Verdict usually.

[Jimmy Floyd]

By the way, I've also seen both Bob Willis and 'Charles' in action at close quarters/out of context, and can reveal the truth: Bob Willis is an absolutely heroic legend of a man, and 'Charles' is a complete knobhead.

[Ian]

That doesn't surprise me about Charles but he's good on the Verdict. Maybe because he's a bit of a dick, I don't know.

[Max Power]

And it wouldn't be the same without a classic "Well Charles..."

[niko_cee]

He's always struck me as a bit of a dickish Judge Reinhold.

[ItalAussie]

He's always struck me as a bit of a dickish Judge Reinhold.

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/50621/_1356026433.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well our under 19s are certainly teaching Fiji a lesson. That'll teach them to cross Her Majesty the Queen.

[Clunge]

I swear they only keep Charles Colville because you sense everyone loathes him. Tbf, Sky's cricket coverage is first rate 99% of the time. I'm still a TMS devotee, but Sky do a vvv good job.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sky's coverage is fantastic (although Sky are in trouble now and cost cutting could threaten it). I'm not really one of the people who screeches about free to air coverage in online comment sections. We should certainly put some domestic T20 on ITV or something if they wanted it, but internationals on FTA would be poorly covered and generate far less money for the game.

[ItalAussie]

The commentators are just as one-eyed as the Australians, mind.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They really aren't, Botham aside.

[ItalAussie]

I very strongly disagree.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Which ones are then?

[Ian]

Bob Willis on Stokes just then was golden.

Just watching it now and he's in fine form as usual. Butch and Key not taking any of Charles' shit, either. He's a good Devil's advocate and good at getting dickheads questioning themselves but they're having none of it.

[ItalAussie]

Which ones are then?
I've not lived in the UK for a couple of years now. The British commentators all just blended into being varying degrees of English cheerleading while I was over there.

It's fine. They're English, and they're allowed to support England. But there really isn't a high horse here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want names, damn it. Atherton, Hussain, Bumble and Gower are the main ones and I'm pretty sure they're all about as impartial as anyone in the world. Botham makes up for them, but he's Ian Botham so he can do as he pleases.

It's only some of the Australian ones who are shite, and they're probably told to be by the execs. When you get people like Hussey or even Clarke coming in they are always intelligent and insightful because they haven't yet been reduced to a shell of blokey banter.

Oh and well done for taking Mark Nicholas off our hands. I like to think the 13/14 Ashes was just our way of saying thank you.

[ItalAussie]

And I disagree. We really aren't going to get beyond this point, because it's been years since this irked me. "Impartial" commentators can sound very different to foreign ears. I had a friend who honestly tried to claim that the current Australian lot were "impartial". He read their parochialism as a perfectly reasonable and impartial stance. He was wrong, but it's telling.

Anyway, I don't have to listen to them anymore, so it's not an issue. I just wanted to raise a counter-point to the standard "our commentators are paragons of charisma, class and impartiality" circle-jerk.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well at least none of them are Laxman Sivaramakrishnan.

[ItalAussie]

I concur. And you'll never hear a word about tracer bullets.

[hfswjyr]

Not to keep dragging on the topic, but Warney just tends to bring out the worst in the rest of the Aussie commentators. Mark Waugh is usually fine, only until Warne comes on and starts telling inside jokes from 10 years ago, and then they all get all "blokey" and forget that they're actually commentating a cricket match. It was mildly frustrating during the world cup.

I tend to find the English commentators like to "big up" the English players. When "foreign" players play a good shot, it's an excellent shot, but when Cook/Root/Stokes plays the same shot, it's suddenly "no one else in the world could play that shot as well as he just has". This could well be true for all commentators depending on their bias, but I've definitely actively noticed it with the English.

[Max Power]

As long as we all agree Pommie Mbangwa is the gold standard?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shane Warne is just a terrible human being, unfortunately.

Flintoff in the Big Bash though, fucking hell. I'm surprised they didn't cancel his visa.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As long as we all agree Pommie Mbangwa is the gold standard?

I really want to be able to do an impression of Pommie Mbangwa (I'm a hit at parties), but it's just impossible. Mostly it's just stating the obvious at considerable length with emphasis in the wrong places, and he never actually stops talking.

Rameez is the best though. Always Rameez.

[Max Power]

The emphasis at the wrong place is the key, but I can't nail the accent.

Rameez is the King, great hair.

[Ian]

I really liked Ponting during the Ashes as well.

On the subject of Botham I was surprised that Bob said he was talking shit on last night's Verdict. I don't think I've heard him so openly accuse him of being full of it before.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I also like Ian Bishop (sounds like he's delivering a sermon at ALL times) and for some reason Russel Arnold is growing on me, even though he talks nothing but utter bollocks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On another note, this Jeff Thomson acceptance speech is brilliant on every level.

http://www.cricket.com.au/video/jeff-thomson-hall-of-fame-speech-ab-medal-video-magnifying-glass-swearing-language-warning/2016-01-27

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surrey have come in for Farbrace. I would lol quite hard if he accepts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This 'Masters CL' stuff is amazing. Just look at this Sagittarius Strikers batting order:

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/959301.html

Fucking Jonty Rhodes :D

[Max Power]

Seems a bit unfair to have Mahela stroking it around against guys who've been retired for a decade!

Is this being broadcast anywhere?

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I was wondering what Hauritz was up to playing in that (assuming it's the Nathan variety). Does he no longer harbour test ambitions?

Nathan Lyon is 28? Mind fucking blown.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sky have it broadcasting online I think. Fucking hell, they gave Trott an over, where was I?

Another big win for our under 19s this morning, this time against the West Indies. Lawrence from Essex is getting runs and Curran ended the first over of their innings 2 for 0, which ended it as a contest. There's also been some scenes in the opposite group with Nepal beating New Zealand, which would line us up to play said mountaineers in the quarter-finals. It's on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm just watching the under 19s and I'm pretty confident we've got the next England opener here, Dan Lawrence. Only watched 5 overs so far but it's obvious he has a method which he knows inside out, he has magic wrists and just exudes international class. Also talks like a proper Essex boy.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc-under-19-world-cup-2016/content/current/player/641423.html

[ItalAussie]

Have any legitimate superstars ever been identified at U-19 tournaments?

EDIT: Plenty, actually. Michael Clarke, Rohit Sharma, Tim Southee, Mitch Johnson, Graeme Smith, Hashim Amla, Brendan McCullum, Ross Taylor and Virat Kohli, apparently. And that's just a quick glance. I guess I'm forever scarred by Moises Henriques and Cameron White being our big superstars in the U-19 World Cup. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lara and de Villiers too.

And memorably Rabada at the last one (may say he isn't a superstar yet but it's nailed on).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Thinking about taking the 10/1 currently available for Curran jr to make a Test debut in 2016. He makes Stokes look frankly shit. Just watched him hit five fours in an over including a ramp shot, a pull shot, an extra cover drive and a straight drive.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have won our group fairly handsomely, and South Africa have joined New Zealand on the competition scrapheap of being dumped out by associates, in their case Namibia which is a trifle embarrassing to say the least.

Likely quarter-final lineup:

Pakistan v Namibia
Bangladesh v Sri Lanka
India v West Indies
England v Nepal

Suspect we might succumb to spin in the end but a semi-final should happen.

[niko_cee]

Surprised there hasn't been more reaction to the Mankading.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/35470796

Bot the act, and the reaction are absolutely disgraceful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I fucking hate Mankads. I both agree and disagree with every argument about them on both sides. Can we just make them go away?

Tino Best's tweet back to Eoin Morgan is fairly SCENES though.

[hfswjyr]

Mankad in the news again. Looking at the replays I'm surprised it was even given out.

[Ian]

Spirit of the game and all that but batsmen should just sort their lives out and stop it being an issue.

[niko_cee]

Mankad in the news again. Looking at the replays I'm surprised it was even given out.

Also, isn't the bowler meant to be in his delivery stride for the game/ball to be live? Or have completed a delivery stride?

It was a pre-planned move by the bowler. He had no intention of delivering the ball. As much of a div as someone like Senanayake was, at least he was within his rights, as Buttler was being a twonk. This one was just wrong, and I hope whoever they play give them an absolute pasting.

[Max Power]

England bat first.

Hales
Roy
Root
Morgan
Stokes
Buttler
Ali
Jordan
Willey
Rashid
Topley


Have a look at that batting line-up. Potential for absolute carnage. Rashid at 10!

[Jimmy Floyd]

I love that the holding player/accumulator is fucking Root. 14 months ago we were still playing Cook up top.

[Max Power]

Good strength in depth when you can leave Bairstow and Taylor out.

Not a fan of Moeen at 7 in ODIs though. Maybe if Hales carries his Test form into this series we could see him open up with Roy

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roy is such a loopy bastard. Love him.

[Samadini]

Roy :cool:

Would you agree with not playing Rabada?

[Max Power]

Roy taking the absolute piss here. I'd say KPesque but that's probably lazy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah. It's one of the more meaningless matches they have between November and say April, and they don't want to bowl him into the ground.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roy taking the absolute piss here. I'd say KPesque but that's probably lazy.

Despite the facial and tattoo similarities he's more like a classier Afridi or some other nutbag. Never seen him bat in any other gear. Frustrating as hell when Surrey are 41 for 4 and he drags on trying to hit some wiley cunt like Alan Richardson over the North Sea, but it's worth it.

[Max Power]

As if by magic...

Good knock in the context though. Plenty of batting to come and none of them are plodders. Good start.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If he did that every game he'd be doing his job. Root arrives with 42 overs to bat and 70 on the board, yes please.

This side is almost perfect. 6 proper bowlers!

[Max Power]

Buttler sent up to 4 :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh shit. Have we put Zdenek Zeman in charge?

[Max Power]

400 is well on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is like hard drugs, but I'm not sure if me or the team have taken them.

[Max Power]

8/1 for the World T20 is worth a tickle surely? It'll be this team probably.

[Jimmy Floyd]

With Adil in tow it's a no brainer. We are in the weaker group as well.

[Davgooner]

Check out our brand of cricket.

[Blitz]

Collapse is on!

[Blitz]

Ok maybe not. Duminy must sort his bowling out. That shit twirl he does is horrible.

[Max Power]

My word. The size of that six from Mo :serious:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I only have cricinfo but it describes him as having 'swung to leg like a drunken pirate'.

[John Arne]

I only have cricinfo but it describes him as having 'swung to leg like a drunken pirate'.

I have a decent stream, if you want it.

[John Arne]

This is an onslaught :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm in the office so streams are no good, it's all or nothing. Much like England in ODIs now.

[Blitz]

Ah, finally, the collapse. Too late though, by a long distance. We will struggle to chase this, our bowlers has been shit. It looks like a flat track, but I think the bowling as been worse than the batting can be good. Unless AB pulls out a rabbit.

[John Arne]

Saffers to wrap it up in the 43rd over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're not getting 300, never mind 400.

[John Arne]

Jordan really is fucking useless.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a massive technical issue with his alignment which means he can't really adjust if someone gets stuck into him without it going wide down the leg side. Before his injuries the action was much more natural.

[Max Power]

Love the varied reactions of those kids to that Stokes catch. Shame about the weather could be a good chase otherwise

[hfswjyr]

No one mentioning that NZ have crushed Australia again at Eden Park, this time by 159 runs (as opposed to 1 wicket last time...).

[Max Power]

DIdn't even realise New Zealand and Australia were playing an ODI series tbh. That is a right shoeing though, the reply lasting just 24 overs!

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it can be filed under being prepared to lose, to win.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/959309.html

Saqi against currently active players :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan Super League currently on Sky 792, for anyone who likes watching cricket streamed from the 1970s. KP, Billings, Watto and Misbah among the stars on show. Zulfiqar Babar just turned one about three yards past Twatto's edge.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Alan Wilkins has just said 'If you're in a crisis, Dial M for Misbah'. I'm not sure if that's the best or worst sentence ever spoken.

[Ian]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/35484858

Much cop?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's superb. Not sure where he fits into the current Test team though. Maybe Taylor up to three and him five if you didn't mind losing the Compdog.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The 19s quarter-finals have started and much fancied hosts Bangladesh are currently in severe danger of shitting the bed against surprise package Nepal. 104/4 chasing 212 and have 20 overs left.

We play Sri Lanka I think tomorrow.

[niko_cee]

Saw an interview with one of our lot on SSN today (Dan Lawrence?) and in response to "how far do you think you can go in this?" his answer wasn't the "we're just taking one game at a time" media trained dogma. No, no. He went with, "we think win can win the tournament comfortably".

:cab:

Hopefully they can follow through.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They looked a bit becalmed against spin in one of their games that I saw which will be an issue against the better teams. That said, they are the sort of team that you want to get behind because they come in testicles swinging and just back themselves. Curran's lbw appeals are a highlight, steaming off into Broadville without a glance back at the umpire.

Lawrence is as nailed on an England top order bat as I've seen for a long time.

[John Arne]

Good catch from Jordan, that. Still bowling shit, as per normal though.

[John Arne]

Oh, bit of a Saffer collapse here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd include Jordan in the side if we have six bowlers just because his world class catch rate is a wicket taking option in itself and he biffs down the order. And also he occasionally bowls well. For example if we don't get de Villiers there, we could be looking at a total 80 more than what we will be chasing.

That last one was a wank call, never touched it.

[niko_cee]

How did Watto end up going for more than Pietersen and Buttler combined (and then some) in the IPL auction thing?

We should shoe these to death here unless Rabada goes mad and runs through us again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All the Aussies are laughably overpriced. Probably because they just panned India.

[ItalAussie]

How did Watto end up going for more than Pietersen and Buttler combined (and then some) in the IPL auction thing?

We should shoe these to death here unless Rabada goes mad and runs through us again.

He did pretty well in the Big Bash. He's rather taken to the T20 format. His bowling seems to be effective enough in the format, too. Double threat. Well, one-and-two-thirds.

[ItalAussie]

How did Watto end up going for more than Pietersen and Buttler combined (and then some) in the IPL auction thing?

We should shoe these to death here unless Rabada goes mad and runs through us again.

We got rolled in the T20s, to the consternation of precisely nobody.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some values of overseas players. This is for new players, not retained ones who seem to be universally cheaper, so it's comparing like for like.

Shane Watson 950 Indian confusing units of measurement
Chris Morris 700
Mitchell Marsh 480
Carlos Brathwaite 420
Jos Buttler 380
Kevin Pietersen 350
Dale Steyn 230
Mustafizur Rahman 140
Aaron Finch 100 (!!!)
Marcus Stoinis 50
Sam Billings 30

I reckon Watson is literally the worst of the batsman on that list. No idea what they're smoking.

[niko_cee]

De Kwatto.

:cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

There has been some right bollocks umpiring in this game, from all three of the umpires. Tahir is absolutely seething.

[Dquincy]

Stokes to now go on and smash a quickfire 50.

[Dquincy]

Or not. :D

[Davgooner]

He looked shambolic for the duration of that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Second time he's been out for 99 for England. Poor guy. Best I've ever seen him play.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Buttler :nod:

We are significantly better than South Africa in every department in all formats. Go us.

[John Arne]

Jos fucking Buttler.

[Max Power]

Buttler cruises into a World XI doesn't he? When was the last time England had one of the best limited overs batsmen in the world?

[Jimmy Floyd]

We needed 26 off 26 then, and got it off five balls.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Buttler cruises into a World XI doesn't he? When was the last time England had one of the best limited overs batsmen in the world?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/twenty20/ipl/12143865/IPL-auction-2016-Mumbai-Indians-buy-Jos-Buttler.html


Buttler joins a strong Mumbai side that already includes attacking strokeplayers such as Corey Anderson, Kieron Pollard and Lendl Simmons and may find his first-team opportunities limited. Ponting said: “Rohit (Sharma, Mumbai captain) was very keen on Jos Buttler as a backup overseas batsman.”

He's better than all three of those on their best days combined.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, but will he get out to the 4th ball of the 11th over?

[Danny]

I can see why Anderson and Pollard might get picked a head of him as they offer the bowling option but looking at purely batting thats just absolutely lol.

Hopefully Billings actually gets to play while he is out there. I like the look of him.

[niko_cee]

You can't really expect a wicket-keeper to offer a bowling option.

[Danny]

No shit.

But when you can only play 3(?) foreigners the fact two of them are AR's becomes a large factor in who you pick.

Edit: Appears its 4 but they picked up Southee and Malinga (for a decent chunk of money) so one of those will certainly play.

Edit 2: List their squad in the order of price and its, Malinga, Anderson, Pollard and Buttler are their 4 most expensive. Which is the 4 they should be playing really.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/auction/content/site/ipl2016/

[Danny]

Just looking over those squads as I have nothing better to do with my Saturday morning.

Faf went for more than KP
Why are people still paying that much for Yuvraj? Must be because hes Indian.
Narine went for a wedge, is he even allowed to play? Wonder if hes been nerfed like Ajmal.
Dehli Daredevils squad :lol: That much on Coulter-Nile and Carlos Braithwaite (average of 1 in T20I)

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think they pay for marketability as much as talent. Nobody remembers who win the games anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Watching us look wholly unconvincing at the start of this u19 quarter-final, I can only reflect that a battery of chucky Sri Lankan spinners and the associated multi-syllable wicketkeeper babble must be one of the most terrifying attacks in cricket.

Russel Arnold basically joins in from the commentary box too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus fuck, they've actually got a bloke who bowls slow left arm to right handers, and right arm off spin to left handers. Think that might be as Sri Lankan as it gets.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're in the 31st over and they've just introduced their sixth different spinner.

Slow left arm
Leg spin
Slow left arm
Off spin
Slow left arm AND off spin (literally switches every ball)
Off spin

[niko_cee]

Looks a fairly typical England v Sri Lanka quarter final.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We faced 43 overs of spin, poor kids. Notable that no Asian side in this has lost to a non Asian one, not even Nepal and Afghan. I didn't see a decent player in that Sri Lankan side, they just know the conditions.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's good to see Australia's batsmen continuing to smash everyone away from their horror show flat decks.

[hfswjyr]

Really looking forward to the tests now. Love a competitive NZ team.

[Max Power]

England are playing an ODI and I'm excited! What times we live in.

Batting first. Let's see some fireworks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

By the time the next World Cup comes around I'm pretty sure flamboyant batting will be outdated and 'the modern game' will dictate that nudging to 240 is the way to win, leaving us hopelessly out of touch again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Had a bet on Root ton earlier when I saw the pitch described as 'two-paced'. What a platform this is. 350 s'il vous plait.

[Max Power]

Buttler in at four again :cool:

[Samadini]

Buttler to hit his century before Root makes 95.


Oh okay

[Max Power]

haha oh well

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not even watching but I can tell 280 will be enough on this deck.

[Davgooner]

About time Root did something.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tahir must be having a laugh.

[Max Power]

Actually think Root can bat far better than he has today. Scary.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In that immense Nasser film going around an England nets session the other day, they caught Root doing some range hitting and he said he was trying to add more power to his game. I mean come on.

If he wins us the India away series in the autumn I shall cry sweet, sweet tears of joy.

[niko_cee]

Tahir is so shit when he isn't having people caught on the fence off his full bungers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

India getting demolished by Sri Lanka as well. What a day.

[Max Power]

Well this is easy

[Jimmy Floyd]

We must have bowled like full on retards here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our World T20 squad has been named and includes Liam Dawson. I mean, good luck to the guy but top international players will hit him so fucking far.

Rashid is such a don in 20 over cricket that we'll saunter to the title anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Test match starting between New Zealand and Australia at what looks like the Basin Reserve. It's McCullum's last series, and he's already in thanks to three early wickets. Australia's seam attack is suddenly Josh Hazlewood, Peter Siddle and Jackson Bird, and New Zealand are crumbling to it because they're bottling dweebs. But now Bazza is in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And now he's out. For a duck.

[Danny]

50-4 off ten overs.

This isnt a t20 warm up lads

[Jimmy Floyd]

51/5 now. Teams just have no idea how to bat in red ball cricket anymore. Same ridiculous wafting as Australia were doing in England.

They all need to be tied to a chair and forced to watch 48 hour loops of Alastair Cook's 268 at Abu Dhabi.

[ItalAussie]

While it's not our most experienced attack, there isn't a team in the world that wouldn't select Hazlewood given the chance.

EDIT: I'm also loathe to judge a performance until both teams have batted. We've been in great positions and screwed it up before. Let's see what the Kiwi seamers have up their sleeves first.

EDIT II: They're actually not pushing the pace that hard against Hazlewood or Siddle, who have all the wickets. Those wickets were just good bowling. The Kiwis have taken half of their runs off Bird's five overs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's by far the best of the three. Jackson Bird is bowling like he's Jackson Browne, and Siddle is boss for a man who only eats bark.

[hfswjyr]

Oh dear. Haven't watched any of the match, but I assume it's one of these Basin Reserve specialty green-tops?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Greener than Caroline Lucas smoking weed at a Pakistan v South Africa game.

[Max Power]

I rate Jackson Bird though.

Saw Andy Zaltzman tonight in standup and he did ten minutes on mankading which was very funny but only me and like two other guys were on it. Great scenes,

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been listening to the Cricket Sadist Hour things you mentioned before and they are nothing short of sensational. The one this week they just talked about historical wicket keepers' stats in mind-boggling detail for almost 50 minutes.

[Max Power]

Legitmately superb. The most recent ep you mentioned was brilliant. Hope now it is independent from anymore they continue making them from Jarrod Kimber's spare room for decades to come.

[ItalAussie]

Always let both teams bat before making a judgement. Never, ever forget it. :moop:

[niko_cee]

You have to laugh at the no ball call from Illingworth. What a div. At least he was looking, I suppose, which is unusual. Can't be long until the 3rd umpire is condemned to front foot watch for every ball and they are taken out of the hands of the onfield umps.

[ItalAussie]

Just give Hawk-eye the no-balls, and let the umpires focus on judgement calls, which is what umpires are most valuable for.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I umpire, I find no balls really easy. Just look down and look up. I know international bowlers are quicker but I've done a decent standard, the difference is 10-15mph at most.

The really hard ones are things like gloves down the leg side, you're just guessing those half the time.