The Cricket Thread

[niko_cee]

What the fuck are these reviews?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Speaking as an umpire, bowlers are always absolutely clueless about those ones where the batsman kicks it. They are out far less often than people think.

[niko_cee]

Yeah. Historically I've always felt those are (were) more given on general principle of 'what are you doing leaving that?' rather than actual likelihood of hitting the stumps, which, or course, DRS has now shat all over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Exactly. Shit umpires at league level love to give them for that reason (same for any time you miss a sweep shot or especially a reverse sweep), but Test umpires are just going to lol you away.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It seems we're going full on for the win here, which isn't necessarily how I'd have played it, but it should be interesting.

[Max Power]

Suppose you could lose the next 3 tosses and never really find yourself in a position to force a win in the series. Go for it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I guess so, as if we go 1-0 up then they will probably shit themselves and prepare ripping turners as per 2012, which turns the whole thing into a lottery.

I'm just a bit afraid of our spinners lacking sufficient control.

[niko_cee]

7 overs in 40 minutes?

It's our own stupid fault for letting it happen, but really the ICC shouldn't allow this sort of shit.

[thommo]

Umpires have been really good so far, but the 3rd umpire has had an absolute shocker with that Bess review. Clearly wallops it onto pad, all camera angles pretty much backing it up.

[igor_balis]

I know the #intent memeing is fucking annoying and that Shane warne would want teams to declare about 50 runs ahead, but wtf was the point of the last 30 mins or so?

[niko_cee]

30 less minutes for them to knock these off.

Or, as they said in comms, maybe they just want the bowlers as fresh as possible with the newer ball as that's when the damage can be done? Be nice to nick a few out before the close.

I thought the Bess one looked pad first, or at least "too close to call" but I didn't pay too much attention to the replays.

[thommo]

There was an angle from behind the bowler where it pretty clearly came off the middle into the pad. 3rd umpire then used UltraEdge and just said "Yeah pad first" when the side-on camera view was from the wrong side. Not that it matters too much, but it was pretty bad.

Not fussed about us batting on. When you're predicted to lose a series 3 or 4-0 like this one, why not play a little more conservatively and prevent the chance of a loss. Everyone seems to be forgetting that it was in Chennai that India chased down 388 in under 100 overs with absolute ease, against England on the last day.

[igor_balis]

Leach :drool:

[Ian]

That was a peach.

[niko_cee]

Needed that. Everything was looking a bit flat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Re the declaration, I think they were just trying to make sure India can't win, in terms of both time and runs (probably went a bit quicker than anticipated earlier in the innings thanks to the expert captain Kohli leaving the sweep open for Root).

If we'd left 400 and given them 90 minutes to bat then an 80/0 at close scenario gets them in the game. In this scenario they're not in the game in terms of winning it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm up early for this and Leach has bowled so beautifully. Pujara gone off the front edge and the BCCI commentators sounded absolutely crestfallen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Up at five to five witnessing perhaps the greatest of all Jimmy's many overs. Cleaned up Gill first nut, then got Rahane out with both of his two deliveries (the first one turned down by umps).

[Max Power]

Can hear the sadness in Gavaskar’s voice as I turn the TV on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When Pujara was out it was like he'd died; funereal silence, just moments after they'd been showing clips of Jack Leach's one step warm up drill and 'Sunny' had been criticising him for doing that to warm up instead of bowling properly.

[Danny]

That was a proper mid 90's home umpire call right there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They've really come into their own today, Rahane was fucking out the ball before he was cleaned up.

[Max Power]

Jofra trying to blast Ashwin out of the series with injury :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Modern batsmen really do not have the faintest idea how to play the short ball.

[Byron]

So genuine question, how do you play the short ball? I can only think of playing defensively until you get a couple of softer balls to work with?

[Max Power]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Anderson career phases:<br>First 45 Tests (2003-Jan 2010): 156w average 34.8.<br>Next 46 Tests (May 2010 to end of 2013-14 Ashes): 187w at 27.2.<br>Last 66 Tests (since 2014 summer): 268w at 21.1.<br>An extraordinary narrative of personal improvement.</p>&mdash; Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) <a href="https://twitter.com/ZaltzCricket/status/1359012522616119296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 9, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Insane. I like to bore people with Jamie Vardy’s form since 30 but Jimmy is just another level.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This might even be done before I head to the office. Fair play to England, a properly consummate subcontinental performance, and among the very last things I was expecting from this game. Big toss to win, but you have to make the most of it.

[Ian]

Turning on just before work to see that score then a couple of wickets fall is lovely stuff.

I can't find a video of Jimmy's full over on a website that will let me watch it here but the wickets were lovely. We've had a fair few quality deliveries here, to be fair.

Anderson is ridiculous though.

[Ian]

What a fucking win.

I think the only possible conclusion to come to is that we're an unstoppable test cricket juggernaut and will definitely be whitewashing the Aussies at the end of the year.

[Max Power]

One of the great Test performances from an England team in recent years.

Be interesting to see if the decree comes from on high for dust bowls in the next three.

[niko_cee]

Looking at that list of England captains by wins etc, old 'Vaughany' ([My Cousin] Vaughannie? MV?) must seethe himself to bits all the time at the lack of a Sirhood.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sir Andrew Strauss got one for being posh, and Sir Alastair Cook got one for scoring loads of runs (presumably), so Vaughan just misses out on both counts I think. Thank god. Hard to imagine Sir Jimmy won't be minted at some point. Anderson, that is, not me.

I'm not sure what India will do with the pitches now. This next one is one the same ground and the groundsmen had allegedly never been a cricket groundsman before this Test (which seems mental), so I'm not sure they can turn around a spitting cobra that easily even if they want to, which they shouldn't. As soon as you make a pitch spin wildly then it just brings bang average bowlers like Bess into the game.

At the same time, a load of flat ones would benefit us from 1-0 up if we wanted to, and were able to, bat long in both innings.

[Max Power]

Bess would need to land a few for that to be the case, think I’d bring Mo back in for him next test.

This pitch is probably the ideal one India would want at home, IF they win the toss. Or if they lose it and England (specifically Root) don’t bat as well as they did.

[Ian]

I know Root has paid lip service to it but how much do the England team / setup actually care about the test championship? Is it three tests I saw we need to win in this series?

If push comes to shove and we need to choose between taking a risk to push for a win or being more cautious to protect a series lead we'll prioritise the series, right?

[niko_cee]

They'll go full minefield if they can.

Just use the same pitch again. Literally the same one. Day 1 abandonment material.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Their spinners didn't bowl that well - whilst I appreciate the logic of picking a dogshit left arm spinner vs England, Shahbaz Nadeem ain't it, and I know trashwin got poles in the second dig but he was pretty scoreable in the first. I imagine they'll dispense with Nadeem for Kuldeep next up, and maybe even bring Jadeja in for Sundar if they can get him out of the oxygen tent.

Ishant and Bumrah were more of a problem with the reverse swing.

[Danny]

1359182591933448199

[Waffdon]

Just watched it there. The umpires dismay as Anderson rocks up for the 2nd wicket after he doesn’t send Rahane packing :drool:

[thommo]

Just watched it there. The umpires dismay as Anderson rocks up for the 2nd wicket after he doesn’t send Rahane packing :drool:

:D Yeah that's pretty incredible. Almost a head in hands moment as Anderson wheels away.

[Ian]

On that second wicket the umpire does genuinely look like he's going "Oh for fuck's sake."

[Queenslander]

https://i.ibb.co/B4YTjpN/FB-IMG-1612919215190.jpg (https://ibb.co/TKNPRfL)

Interesting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

An NZ Aus final would be great spectator sport, firstly to see if Aus would actually trouble themselves to turn up to an away series for once (their behaviour re SA has been truly shameful), and also because people here would be supporting NZ in that probably more than they support England in a normal Test.

[Queenslander]

Nah stuff going to South Africa jeeez louise.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They made six separate demands about arrangements, CSA fulfilled all of them at great expense, and then they cancelled anyway, just because. I used to think CA was the least evil of the big three boards but it's probably the most evil these days.

https://mannersoncricket.substack.com/p/casual-prejudice-and-hypocrisy?r=7pe21&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&utm_source=twitter

[niko_cee]

If it ends up being Australia v New Zealand are they realistically going to have it at Lords without one or both of them absolutely shitting themselves?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I heard it will end up being at the Hedge End Megadrome.

[Queenslander]

They made six separate demands about arrangements, CSA fulfilled all of them at great expense, and then they cancelled anyway, just because. I used to think CA was the least evil of the big three boards but it's probably the most evil these days.

https://mannersoncricket.substack.com/p/casual-prejudice-and-hypocrisy?r=7pe21&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&utm_source=twitter

Definitely fuck CA Im all aboard there

[niko_cee]

Archer being injured raises the interesting, and obviously unintended prospect of Jimmy and, erm, Stuart riding again in tandem. Unless we call their bunsen bluff and just draft Moeen in.

Win the toss and bat for three days this time boys. Where are we going next? Tell me it's Nagpur.

[Ian]

Ahmedabad for two tests, I believe.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ahmedabad for two. Bit of a graveyard for us, that, I believe it's where we quite brilliantly played Tim Bresnan ahead of Panesar in the first Test in 12/13 and got pied. India got very excited by that and inexplicably rolled out two snakepits followed by Nagpur, the perfect three card trick to somehow allow us to win 2-1.

Not sure what they do from behind. I'd stick with the flat ones and hope to win the toss / hope for Joe Root to descend from god tier at some point, because we remain fundamentally quite bad at batting.

Jos going home will probably be fairly costly, not because Foakes is bad, but because they all seem to love Jos and he seems to be around for all our better moments.

[Ian]

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/england-india-score-first-test-james-anderson-b1799539.html


Since the mid-1990s, England have gradually accumulated knowledge around reverse swing in Asia. What began as basic trial and error, such as Darren Gough thinking sweat from your back was best because it was “heavier”, has developed into databases in the hard drives and minds of every ECB branded laptop and cricketer.

:D

Also:

If you want a measure of Jimmy's effectiveness these conditions, beyond an average of 30.09 thanks to a remarkable three for 17 overall, try this one on for size: since his debut in May 2003, India have lost 10 at home, and he's played in four of them.

:drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've never heard that story before but it's the most Darren Gough story imaginable.

[niko_cee]

Anderson and Bess out, along with Archer.

Mo and Bloakesy in to lengthen the batting to an improbable degree?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mo for sure, would Broad/Woakes not be a bit one paced? Unless the latter has learned the secrets of man's red fire / reverse swing in the nets.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, no penetration but then is Olly Stone going to do much?

[igor_balis]

Yeah, no penetration but then is Olly Stone going to do much?

:drool:

[Queenslander]

Christian Vieri has put his hand up to play cricket for Italy.

https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket/football-news-cricket-news-italy-striker-christian-vieri-wants-to-come-out-retirement-to-play-cricket-compares-himself-to-chris-gayle/news-story/f264099b4222ead415ed0f228c0c6f77

In a parrallel universe he scored 100 goals for the Socceroos

[Danny]

Kohli reviewing a clean bowled? :lol:

Edit: seems like the umpire wanted to review it. Less enjoyable.

[Max Power]

Looking at the state of the pitch on the first day this is already looking like a match winning innings from Rohit.

[Ian]

Kohli reviewing a clean bowled? :lol:

His reaction was incredible. The thermonuclear levels of seethe, the amount of time it took him to stop asking about it and walk.

He's cleaned you out, mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He did the same thing when Adil Rashid bowled him in the World Cup. I think if you have the level of sauce and God complex that he must have then it just comes with the territory.

[niko_cee]

This is more like it. Toiling. Hopefully the pitch goes backwards or else this could be tricky.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't worry, Jar Jar Burns will fire a similar quickfire double ton to the one Rohit is in the process of compiling.

[niko_cee]

Can you show me an angle where i can give him not out please.

[niko_cee]

That's a disgraceful decision.

Stump cam showed you could see the line at all times, so his foot by definition couldn't have been over it.

[Max Power]

That was clearly out. Even with DRS home umpires can still have an impact

[Kikó]

Well at least Rohit's out now.

[Max Power]

What a joke

[niko_cee]

This is now beyond unbelievable.

[Kikó]

Lol what the actual fuck.

[niko_cee]

Surely the balcony has to have a word here?

[Kikó]

Guess we just have to bowl them.

[Max Power]

At least the cheating hasn’t cost much in the way of runs.

[niko_cee]

Done.

We're going to get every single decision against us on the field in this, and apparently most of them in the booth as well.

[niko_cee]

It's easy to say those things didn't have a big bearing on the game, but can we at least have our lost review back?

[niko_cee]

Also doesn't help that the third umpire looks like Ravi Shastri's brother.

[Max Power]

Hilarious how the Indian commentators were deathly silent during that whilst Butcher slowly lost his mind.

Found their voice now as Rishabh Pant cracks a boundary through backward point.

[thommo]

Lord Root, we need you again.

I don't want to keep banging the drum, but the lbw of Burns seemed a little off when watching it live. Maybe I'm just looking too hard for a shit decision after yesterday's debacle.

[Ian]

Turned the TV on there to see Olly Stone limbering up for a knock and let out an audible "Oh no" at how bad our score much be.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We might be getting beat, but Foakes is donning the match (again) so who is really winning?

[niko_cee]

Hopefully they stay on the snakepit path and we sneak a toss next time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not sure a toss would have saved us here, our spinners give up too many freebies.

[Max Power]

Avoided the follow on :rave:

Would have taken 1-1 going into a day-night test tbf

[niko_cee]

Not sure a toss would have saved us here, our spinners give up too many freebies.

Yeah, that stat about Bess bowling 12 full bungers in 8 overs or whatever it was in the last test was a bit :eek:

[Kikó]

Third umpire is doing well again.

[Danny]

Foakes with more stumpings today than Buttler has in his test career.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cricket should just be Ben Foakes really. Rest of the participants are just padding it out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meh, he'll always be Trashwin in my heart.

[Max Power]

Probably proves it’s not a complete minefield/disgrace to cricket pitch. We just didn’t play very well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nothing wrong with turning decks, you just have to have good spinners, and people who have ever batted on one in their lives.

My club has a notoriously turning deck (for southern England) and opposition / umpires always leave in floods of tears as if it's some kind of affront to cricket. I see most of our mainstream media did the same about this deck. Some cats are black, some cats are tabby. Variety is the spice of life.

[niko_cee]

That may be true, but decks that explode on Day 1 and games that barely make it past Day 3 shouldn't really be encouraged. I always hark back to it, but when it was too good for the seamers that one time ever at Sabina Park or wherever it was the match was called off within an hour or so. Obviously local conditions dictate to some extent, but it probably shouldn't start ragging square until at least the third or fourth day really. Overhead conditions stuff things up a bit in the temperate regions of the world.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That may be true, but decks that explode on Day 1 and games that barely make it past Day 3 shouldn't really be encouraged.

Why not? (unless you're a stadium CEO)

[Jimmy Floyd]

13.5
6
Ashwin to Lawrence, SIX runs

This is the point when I start wishing I was working from home.

[thommo]

Two balls before, Lawrence backed away as Ashwin was about to bowl too. :drool:

[thommo]

Once again, Kohli acting the cunt. I'm not sure there's a more dislikeable chap in international cricket right now, maybe Warner as the only one to push him close.

[niko_cee]

Why not? (unless you're a stadium CEO)

Mostly, from a personal perspective, I just like seeing games go five days. The more you condense it the less chance there is for any interesting narratives to develop, the writing is on the wall from the outset.

Maybe I'll be proved wrong and there will be a blitz of counter-attacking brilliance tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So do I but a few spitting turners don't do any harm and I think this is more interesting cricket than that played on the Australian megahighways.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, there's definitely a balance, but they probably had it right with the last pitch more than this one.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/56097118

Between this and it coming out they'd asked him to stay, and thus showing loads of faith in the spinners they'll have out there, it's fair to say this has been handled brilliantly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's part of the problem when you hand matters of complex personnel and welfare issues over to (not to denigrate him at all) Joe Root. Guy's a cricketer, he shouldn't have to make such decisions or indeed be publicly accountable for them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Steve Smith does not appear a well man. (also noting the confusing presence of Russel Arnold on co-comms)

1362132619262128131

[Queenslander]

Such a fuckwit style at this point.

[Ian]

The fuck was he doing?

[bruhnaldo]

Cricket 19 is on game pass and God what an awful fucking game

[Danny]

I bought it the other week. It fills a void but really hasnt progressed as much as it should for being 4th in the series.

[bruhnaldo]

Perhaps I was just drunk and impatient I’ll give it another go lol

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have it, it's not bad imo but they could do so much more with it if they had any money.

[Danny]

They were just bought out. So hopefully they end up with more investment

[Jimmy Floyd]

David Gower on the PSL commentary team (on Sky now) is... bizarre. Not saying I'm against it, mind.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sibley
Crawley
Bairstow
Root
Stokes
Pope
Foakes
Archer
Leach
Broad
Anderson

4 changes seems to be the new default for us. 1 spinner in Ahmedabad is... a bold move.

[Ian]

That's going to be fun when the ball decides to do nothing.

[Max Power]

Are we not overstating the influence of the PINK BALL a bit? Time will tell.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's certainly a curious one to select this team, then win the toss and bat. Does the ball get pinker on day 4?

[Ian]

Day 4? India will be just putting the finishing touches on the run chase of 27 we've set them by then.

[Ian]

:drool:

So glad this has started at a time that lets me watch all of it.

[Max Power]

No ball the ball before and after the wicket, call me a cynic...

[Ian]

Bairstow absolutely furious. Instant review.

This has all the hallmarks of a classic Bairsy wasted review.

[Ian]

:drool:

[Manc]

Is Covid not a thing in India?

[Max Power]

Non turning left arm spinner bagging in the 7th over. Hello darkness my old friend.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Glad we binned off one of our best young bats, making his way in the side, for Jonny B and the Missed Straight Ones.

[Ian]

Kohli and the crowd seething as a review doesn't go their way. Lovely stuff.

[Ian]

Not really sure why that's been reviewed either though I suppose our batting is wonky enough that if you think you've an outside chance of saving Root then you'd risk it.

[thommo]

Watching live, I thought it'd turned too much to be honest. Review seemed fair to me. Crawley has played the best innings of the series so far at the moment, some of the shots have been glorious.

[Ian]

I'm really enjoying this.

[Manc]

I thought we were good at a Cricket?

[Ian]

Archer in to bat. So the tail starts after Foakes, then.


I thought we were good at a Cricket?

We're either quite good or really bad.

[Max Power]

Was looking forward to this as well. Game over in the first morning.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They seem to be literally nothing without Buttler's dressing room presence. It's a pattern we've seen time and time again in the last few years.

[Ian]

Made it to 100. :drool:

[thommo]

My expectations for the entire series were immediately surpassed with the 1st Test win, so I'm surprisingly nonchalant about this all really.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can see our bowlers doing some damage with the pink under lights this evening tbh. If they don't, well. Yeah.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm pretty sure that Broad innings was as a lights watchman. Get us to the darkness!

Any England follower knows the darkness well.

[Ian]

If Jimmy can just hang about for 30 balls or so Foakes might get to double figures.

[thommo]

What is most frustrating is that 1st win has definitely ramped up the expectations of pundits and fans so much that we're now overly criticising the team.

Yes, we batted poorly and have been roundly outplayed, but it seems like all of a sudden, it's the blame of the rotation policy, not playing Bairstow, sending Buttler back (even though that was ALWAYS the plan), not picking Bess, not picking Stone, playing 3 seamers, etc., etc.

It's probably just because I can't escape Michael Vaughan and his genuinely braindead opinions, but it seems like even some of the more respectable pundits are now chipping in. Why can't anyone just keep their fucking oar out and let us play this series out, get some experience for the younger members of the team, and continue developing with an eye to the Ashes, which is in all honesty, the most important thing for English Test cricket.

[Max Power]

The rotation is clearly half an eye on the t20 series and World Cup coming soon (as well as silly things like the players mental health). Don’t really have an issue with it aside from I wouldn’t pick Bairstow in the test team ever.

[thommo]

I agree completely with that. I know Dan Lawrence was having a tough time, but what better place to play against spin bowling and learn?

And of course, Vaughan was the leading voice in wanting Bairstow back in the team, the prick.

[Max Power]

Same agency I believe.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://phoenixmg.co.uk/our-family/

If you ever want to view the corruption index it's there. Bairstow used to be with them but left a while ago after some kind of falling out, which doesn't surprise me.

The England management are probably accepting a dicking by India in this series, but it's natural for fans not to.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's just struck me looking down that list (haven't looked in a while so there are quite a few new younger recruits) that they seem to go for... how can I put this. A certain type of person?

[Ian]

I assume you mean they're all white as fuck.

[Danny]

I was expecting a long list of Yorkshireman but that trait did stand out more.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's not just the whiteness but also the 'right sort of family'ness that screams from most of the faces. Just look at Tom Lammonby, sure he's a fine young player, but ffs he has public school dripping off his face.

[Ian]

Speccy Leach. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

He has turned Pujara into his bunny, where he had previously averaged 400 against left arm spinners or something.

[Ian]

The England players look absolutely fed up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shamshuddin has been a bent cunt for years, and still is.

With DRS in place, the only way you can actually be bent is to fail to follow procedures properly and he and Chaudhury have done it time after time in this series. Menon is fine.

[Ian]

Hahahaaaaa fuck off, Kohli.

Surprised he didn't consider the review again.

[Ian]

With DRS in place, the only way you can actually be bent is to fail to follow procedures properly and he and Chaudhury have done it time after time in this series. Menon is fine.

Will the ICC actually do anything about this stuff? Because it's pretty blatant.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They can put neutral umpires back in.

It's not just India - some of the worst home umpiring I've ever seen was done by Gregory Braithwaite or whatever his name is in the West Indies. It comes from the pressure of being in (and part of) a highly partisan environment, and I don't think there's any environment more partisan than home Indian cricket.

[thommo]

Utterly farcical at this point. I can only imagine what Root is thinking as it's pretty much happened throughout all 3 Tests. I thought it was pretty clear that the foot was grounded and compressed after Foakes broke the wicket from watching the video, but understandably, the still image makes it look like Rohit has his foot down. He could have at least have spent more than 2 seconds on the decision.

Leach has bowled a pretty nice spell though. Got some lovely turn and bounce on a number of occasions.

[Ian]

Simultaneous feelings of "Ah, the ball is turning, good news" and "Oh Jesus the ball is turning. :uhoh: "

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just as well we picked a side for the county ground at Derby on a cold April morning.

[Max Power]

If we make them bat again I’m calling it a win.

[Ian]

I'm sure the promise of being in the prestigious Test championship final will rouse the team into a stirring comeback.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The one advantage of a capitulation in this match and the next is that it would stop Australia getting into that final.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Speaking of capitulations.

[John Arne]

Is Root 3/0 with the ball?

[Ian]

I think he was before that four from Ashwin.

Who's definitely going to get 50+ here, the arsehole.

[Kikó]

I think a 19 run lead is probably enough anyway.

[Ian]

I think a 19 run lead is probably enough anyway.

Probably. They should mind game us and declare.

[Max Power]

Haha what the fuck

[Jimmy Floyd]

Please now just bat until the end of the day, is that too much to ask.

Remember what I said about rank turners bringing bang average spinners into the game?

[Ian]

Five wickets for eight runs for Rooooooot. :cool:

[Ian]

Also whenever I see somebody bowling from the "Adani End" my mind goes to Daniele Adani.

[niko_cee]

Didn't the last day/night test in India see all wickets fall to seam? :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah but England are touring so in their primitive imaginations we will collapse to any spin (true) while the masterful Indian batting legends will swat all our spin aside (not true). Send for the crumbling dustbowl.

They then retrofit any away defeat of theirs to have been played on Court 14 at Wimbledon after a wet fortnight. Rinse and repeat.

[Max Power]

That Crawley innings looks a pretty amazing one now, don’t think he’ll see a seamer this time around though.

Fancy a bit of Stokes madness, he’s been a bit quiet.

[Ian]

Warne suggesting we open with Crawley and Archer, Broad at 3....

[Ian]

:D

Oh, England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I haven't even got the footage as I'm at work but I can just tell he's fucking gone back to a straight one.

[Max Power]

Bairstow Jesus Christ that was inevitable

[Max Power]

Send him home

[Manc]

What on earth is happening?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Proving the critics right.

[Ian]

I may have mentioned before that I really don't like Bairstow.

[thommo]

Bairstow still managed to get himself bowled between bat and pad, good stuff.

[Ian]

Massive stretches today where every ball feels like a chance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We flew him back to be out three times in 11 balls without scoring while Dan Lawrence (and Rory Burns, for that matter) carry the drinks.

[Ian]

I hate and love this pitch in equal measure.

[niko_cee]

This is slightly farcical.

[Ian]

Not sure why he's having a mad swipe at that.

[Max Power]

Into the lead

:rave:

[Jimmy Floyd]

An hour of Stokes badly needed. Two hours could win it. Three will win it.

[thommo]

Thoughts on that Root DRS decision?

I THINK it's the right one. Mid-off angle seemed to show the edge just before the pad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know but I do know that Anil's trigger finger is itchy as fuck when the mighty three lions are at the crease.

[Manc]

Who is the bloke psychotically laughing for India? Needs a slap.

[Ian]

Thoughts on that Root DRS decision?

I think it might just about have been right but given how different it looked at different angles I'm surprised it got overturned.

[Ian]

And that's that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the straight one from the left arm spinner that we absolutely cannot handle. Completely clueless against it.

[Ian]

I think that's been the case for as long as I've been watching England and I assume well before that.

[thommo]

I might be underselling him a bit, but it doesn't even look like Axar means to bowl the straight one. No change in pace or grip, just looks as if some turn and some don't.

[Kikó]

Is 50 enough?!

[Ian]

Oh look, another wicket gone to a dead straight ball.


I might be underselling him a bit, but it doesn't even look like Axar means to bowl the straight one. No change in pace or grip, just looks as if some turn and some don't.

I think Swann was saying this yesterday. That basically he decides broadly where he wants the ball to be and what happens after that is as much a mystery to him as it is to everyone else.

[niko_cee]

Putting the ball in the right spot is the main skill though. Well, on this sort of deck at least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Natural variation'. It's exactly how I used to bowl slow left arm but about 1,000 levels below him. If you land it in roughly the right area, no one can cope. Ripping it can almost be a disadvantage as they know what to expect. It's the small difference between turning a bit and not turning at all which is deadly.

[Ian]

Every time I see this a replay of this umpire who's currently behind the stumps he's pulling faces that don't even remotely hide his disappointment when a close one isn't a wicket.

[Pleb]

Woof.

[niko_cee]

I wouldn't fancy our chances chasing this down, but, at the same time, I don't fancy them not to for the loss of very few wickets.

[Pleb]

That took 5 years to review an obvious out.


On the ropes?

[thommo]

So how was Root's not out, and this one out? I thought there was a fairly clear, but small, spike as the ball passed the bat.

[Pleb]

Incredible scenes.

[John Arne]

Fucking hell, why is Leach playing that shot?

Given the pitch is the same for both team (essentially) why are so many people complaining and saying that it isn't a test-match standard? Do they only want pitches that will result in 5 days tests and 5,000 runs?

[Ian]

While a match being over inside two days feels wrong (and this one will be) a minefield that lets Joe Root take 5-8 is lol enough to get a pass.

[Max Power]

How have I only just clocked it’s being played at the Narendra Modi stadium? :D

[niko_cee]

Fucking hell, why is Leach playing that shot?

Given the pitch is the same for both team (essentially) why are so many people complaining and saying that it isn't a test-match standard? Do they only want pitches that will result in 5 days tests and 5,000 runs?

They want pitches that meaningfully reward skill and produce interesting matches.

lol as it might be, Joe Root bowling in with 5-8 on day 2 of a test doesn't fit that criteria.

17 wickets for what, 120 odd runs in 2 sessions? Yeah, sign me up.

[John Arne]

Aye, Brumble has just explained it will on the Radio.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Indian nationalism is at a stage where you can't question anything they do.

[Ian]

Triple figures with 7 left still to bat. :drool:

You been up for the whole thing, Jimmy?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Have I fuck.

Overnight in WI v SL, Akila Dananjaya had a stormer: hat-trick (including Chris Gayle) in his second over, then hit for six sixes in his third.

[Ian]

I don't understand what Pope has appealed there. Is it that he couldn't feel it because it hit the very top of his pad and so he thought it'd gone off the ground (I thought he'd gestured to his pad when talking to Lawrence so I assume not)? Or is there some rule I'm unaware of his appeal hinges on?

[thommo]

Looks like the umpires just decided to refer it to make sure. Pope seemed to be wandering off as the review was happening, I think he was just a bit dumbfounded that he got out in that manner.

[Ian]

Ahh, okay. I thought he'd reviewed it himself.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I really hope we persist with Lawrence at home. He's a proper punchy player with personality and his own method. Would far rather watch him than another churned out indoor school type player with pretty cover drives. Which, incidentally, is not what Ollie Pope is either, even though people seem to have decided he bats like Ian Bell (he bats nothing like Ian Bell).

[Ian]

Well this is better than I expected to be waking up to. Just in time to see Leach get Ashwin as well.

[Queenslander]

Bulls at the Gabba is very rare these days. I might drift up the street and try out the beer at the Gabba.

https://i.ibb.co/mFmf6Zw/20210305-111507.jpg (https://ibb.co/JFND564)

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sorry to say this but Bess is a bit of a pie thrower.

[Ian]

This has taken a rather unpleasant turn.

Anderson getting smeared all over the ground for fours isn't exactly what I was hoping for from the new ball.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All stems from Bess being dogshit and failing to control the left hander. Yeah Pant's good but we've completely let him get away with a run of freebie overs.

Should have played Amar Virdi probs, even though he is a comedically bad fielder.

[niko_cee]

I can only imagine the horror of seeing this happen.

[niko_cee]

Thank god, a positive jinx for once. Need to run through these now to at least ensure we can make them bat again.

[Max Power]

Root bowling with the second new ball ffs :D

[Kikó]

Embarrassingly bad batting performance again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's not the only culprit, but Bairstow surely for the knacker's yard.

[Ian]

There aren't many batsmen coming out of this with any credit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Dan Lawrence is...

[Ian]

Yep, he needs to stay in the team.

And Bairstow gone forever, ideally.

[Queenslander]

The same Ed Cowan who claimed they would win 4 - 0 against India before a ball was bowled. Say nothing cunt!

https://i.ibb.co/kJFVhZ7/FB-IMG-1615258252125.jpg (https://ibb.co/ScpDKSj)

[Ian]

One of the greater bantermen, definitely.

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2021/mar/09/england-cricket-treatment-jonny-bairstow-cycle-of-pain-and-joy

Liew makes some decent points here but he doesn't really touch on how Bairstow probably doesn't do himself any favours sometimes either.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely loving the Road Safety World Series, having just spotted it on Cricinfo.

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/road-safety-world-series-2019-20-2020-21-1217118/india-legends-vs-england-legends-9th-match-1217140/full-scorecard

India Legends will be trembling in their boots at the sight of that English batting lineup.

[Ian]

What is a Phil Mustard?

[niko_cee]

Only the best condiment based wicketkeeper batsman to come out of the north east since, erm, Nigel Horseradish was smearing it over Chester-Le-Street as a young buck.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Even Darren Maddy at 3 is an all rounder, but Chris Schofield at 4 (average leg spinner and nuggety county number 8 from the early to mid noughties) and Gavin Hamilton at number 5, a dogshit all rounder from West Lothian who England decided to poach from Scotland in the late nineties because, well, who knows, provides a real statement to the likes of Tendulkar, Sehwag and Yuvraj in the opposition.

[niko_cee]

Hoggard strikes!

Monty opening the bowling is all sorts of :cab:

[Ian]

Where is this being broadcast?

[niko_cee]

I'm just following it on the cricinfo live text.

Monty! :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sachin chewing, they're on the ropes here. This would definitely make up for losing the Test series.

EDIT: THE PRESSURE TELLS Sachin Tendulkar st †Mustard b Panesar 9 (9b 2x4 0x6) SR: 100

[Ian]

Proof, if proof were needed, that Tendulkar is just too short.

[niko_cee]

Yuvraj to finish 150* after Broad is snuck on to bowl.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is Tredwell/Panesar, even now, a lot worse than the spinners we had in the Tests? I doubt it.

[niko_cee]

Probably better.

Having had no real idea of this as a thing half an hour ago I'm right into it now after reading England were only drafted in as late makeweights and Australia have cried off due to covid.

[Ian]

Astonished they were able to get Phil Mustard at such short notice.

[Ian]

So Chris Tremlett is large.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's like that giant trying to invade Winterfell towards the end of GoT.

[Ian]

Surely that body shape isn't conducive to fast bowling? I mean I know he's not doing that regularly any more but fucking hell.

[niko_cee]

Fitness and body shape are only the last 10% or so of being able to bowl. If you have the ability to bowl 'fast' you never really lose it, much like if you don't, you can never really get it through gym work.

[niko_cee]

That ended up a lot closer than I thought it would.

[Queenslander]

Matt Hayden must have been a huge problem on the booze.


:lol:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=262049968639653

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=170746967834201

[Queenslander]

I forgot how mental this was.


https://youtu.be/RCgAqNSAD1U