The Cricket Thread

[Danny]

Just 101 to avoid the follow on.

[Max Power]

110*(55) for captain Moeen to take Worcestershire to finals day :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am going again, I could not be happier. I think he is my favourite non-Surrey cricketer ever.

[Max Power]

How often does Bairstow get bowled? Ridiculous. Bin him.

[Max Power]

Well at least Davey Warner has had an absolute shocker of a series.

[niko_cee]

Having a little run through them is all well and good, but it probably just means we'll be batting sooner which isn't really ideal. Could do with keeping a lid on the run rate really.

[Ian]

Well at least Davey Warner has had an absolute shocker of a series.

That plus Headingley is literally all we're getting out of this.

[Gray Fox]

Odds on somehow managing to lose 3-4 wickets before the end of the day?

[Max Power]

Shortening.

Gets Stokes in earlier so he can try and win it.

[Gray Fox]

Oh for fucks sake.

[Mellberg]

Whew.

[Max Power]

Ooof this is end of days shit. Five changes and Root to resign before the fifth test.

[Mellberg]

No worries Jason. They've took 3 balls off the new ball for you.

[niko_cee]

:D

Only one thing for it now.

Roll out the brand.

[Queenslander]

Warner to score a couple of home ground tons and celebrate with some jumping. He is the Bernard Foley of cricket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ricky Ponting absolutely wasted him on comms: 'There's the Australian brains trust, although I hesitate to say that as Dave Warner's in the picture.'

[Queenslander]

Ricky Ponting absolutely wasted him on comms: 'There's the Australian brains trust, although I hesitate to say that as Dave Warner's in the picture.'

:D

Ill have to track that down.

[niko_cee]

What was the third umpire playing at there?

:cab:

[Gray Fox]

It's all kicking off.

3rd umpire blind, people in the crowd pissing about behind the bowler. I'm really not a fan of the abuse of this "new ball" rule either.

[Max Power]

Didn’t think we’d get this far. Surely not Leach cleaning his specs before facing the last over of the Test...

[Gray Fox]

We'll get to down to the last hour with all 4 left and then collapse to lose it.

36 overs to go sounds like a lot considering Broad has been useless with the bat.

[Kikó]

They've lasted two sessions more than I thought they would.

[Kikó]

We've got to 20 to go.😎

[Danny]

15 overs left with Stuart "I am scared of the ball" Broad walking out to the crease.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are not good enough shock. Did well to stay in the series that long.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I think the last few games have 'answered the critics' to an extent as regards 'fight'. They've put in some quality backs to the wall performances. Unfortunately criticisms as to ability/suitability of the team remain.

The India series last year was a bit of a burglary in the final analysis, this would have been insane. Nearly made it as well. I suppose the only thing that sticks in the throat is that Australia are pretty hopeless beyond a couple of star turns. 120 odd for 8 on that first day of the series didn't feel like it would end like this.

With the series on the line still at the Oval I doubt there will be wholesale changes, but the batting order really needs some serious attention.

[Mellberg]

What we really need is Jimmy Anderson to be both fit and to reverse the ageing process.

[Max Power]

Yeah, I think the last few games have 'answered the critics' to an extent as regards 'fight'. They've put in some quality backs to the wall performances. Unfortunately criticisms as to ability/suitability of the team remain.

The India series last year was a bit of a burglary in the final analysis, this would have been insane. Nearly made it as well. I suppose the only thing that sticks in the throat is that Australia are pretty hopeless beyond a couple of star turns. 120 odd for 8 on that first day of the series didn't feel like it would end like this.

With the series on the line still at the Oval I doubt there will be wholesale changes, but the batting order really needs some serious attention.

Had Bumrah been fit for the whole series they may well have won that so small mercies.

[Ian]

Forgot that for all that the series (lol) is still on the line and there is obviously the nebulous PRIDE to play for there are also Test Championship points available.

Should try and get a few more on the board at home before we get molested by Rabada for a few weeks later in the year.

[Ian]

I had either missed or forgotten that Bayliss is away after the series.

Has there been any chat about who'll be replacing him?

[Ian]

From Cricinfo:

That's, basically, the story of this England side. It's full of batsmen with big reputations and small averages

I mean, he's not wrong.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had either missed or forgotten that Bayliss is away after the series.

Has there been any chat about who'll be replacing him?

Oddly little, but my choice would be Micky Arthur - he just loves it.

[niko_cee]

I thought that was bit of a fait accompli when he announced he was stepping away from Pakistan the other day/week/month, but maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan fired him, for reasons known only to them, and have replaced him with Misbah-ul-Haq.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Curran and Woakes in for Roy and Overton. We will piss this one.

[thommo]

Denly out in the 9th over. And yet it is still the highest opening partnership of the series for either side.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Davey Warner averaging 9.87 is the real Ashes.

As a lifelong Oval-dweller, may I just say that bowling first in a Test match at this ground is absolutely mental.

[thommo]

It's quite incredible that he has managed to average single figures despite scoring 61 in one innings.

[Dave.]

Davey Warner averaging 9.87 is the real Ashes.

As a lifelong Oval-dweller, may I just say that bowling first in a Test match at this ground is absolutely mental.

Even against this England side?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Even against this England side?

Against anyone. The only way to reliably bowl teams out on Oval belters is by having scoreboard pressure in your favour.

[Ian]

Yeah the repeat rinsing of Warner has been about the best thing to come out of it.

[Ian]

Paine will feel like a genius when we crumble to 187 all out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I say this at 148/3 but this England team is utter shite. Really need several new names.

[niko_cee]

The pick your combined ashes XI thing on the bbc site is something else. It basically corners you into picking Joe Denly as one of the openers, so bad have all the others bar Burns been.

I like that our response to being uselss at batting is to essentially go with 2 specialist batsmen. Feels like those days of the ODI team being horrifically bad with a million all-rounders in it, and Ali Cook opening, natch.

[Dave.]

The pick your combined ashes XI thing on the bbc site is something else. It basically corners you into picking Joe Denly as one of the openers, so bad have all the others bar Burns been.

I like that our response to being uselss at batting is to essentially go with 2 specialist batsmen. Feels like those days of the ODI team being horrifically bad with a million all-rounders in it, and Ali Cook opening, natch.

I ended up with five England players in my team.:cab:

Burns, Denly (what?), Labuschange, Smith, Head (what?), Stokes, Paine (what?), Cummins, Archer, Hazelwood, Broad

[niko_cee]

:D

It's mad isn't it. You can finagle it to have Root 3 and Marnus 5, but then you have the England top 3. :cab:

All the 'keepers are rank bad.

Here comes the tail.

[thommo]

Root has got several absolute crackers this series, he has been remarkably unlucky.

[niko_cee]

Well, apart from being dropped 3 times in this innings. Getting bowled by a corker after that probably isn't 'unlucky' per se.

[thommo]

Admittedly not today. Just seems to always get that type of delivery from Cummins or Hazlewood where it nips away and clips the top of off.

I'm still fairly optimistic. We can get up to 400 on this pitch with a bit of application.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll take Warner for his catching, and Smith for his banter.

[Dave.]

:D

It's mad isn't it. You can finagle it to have Root 3 and Marnus 5, but then you have the England top 3. :cab:

All the 'keepers are rank bad.

Here comes the tail.

Then I end up with more England players than Australia. :lol:

I presumed I would be picking another Australian bowler ahead of Archer but their stats aren't that great.

[niko_cee]

I'm still fairly optimistic. We can get up to 400 on this pitch with a bit of application.

:roflol:

[thommo]

Yeah about that... 5 minute commute home and in that time, YJB goes (lbw, what a shock) and Curran is walking off as I turn the tv on.

Cummins has been bowling no balls all series though, every side on view replay shows how marginal it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Root out as captain and Bairstow out of the team are both needed. These two currently in should be backed.

[niko_cee]

Mitchell Marsh running through us bowling 70mph filth.

:D

[thommo]

I'm still fairly optimistic. We can get up to 400 on this pitch with a bit of application.

Yeah ignore me, I'm completely fucking delusional.

[Max Power]

So done with Bairstow.

We have about a million tours this winter so lots of opportunity for new blood to come in and stake a claim.

[Ian]

I'm still fairly optimistic. We can get up to 400 on this pitch with a bit of application.

:console:

[Shindig]

Have we passed 300 at any point this series?

[Danny]

We chased 359 two tests ago

[Shindig]

Ah, for some reason I mentally took 100 off that target. It's been a summer of hard swings.

[Ian]

Nice to see Buttler taking his turn to see that this middle order never, ever gets broken up. :moop:

[Ian]

Also was that Root getting out to a ball pitching in basically the exact same place again?

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they don't put Ollie Pope in at 6 for the winter tours we might have to lock them up.

Sibley and Hain in at 2 and 3, imo #YouBears. I can only get one of Buttler and Curran in that way, but so be it.

[niko_cee]

Buttler needs to keep wicket if he's going to get picked. Probably harsh on Foakes, but none of the options are good enough as specialist test batsmen.

You can have one dasher who only periodically comes off down there, but you can't build the entire batting line-up out of them.

[Dave.]

If they don't put Ollie Pope in at 6 for the winter tours we might have to lock them up.

Sibley and Hain in at 2 and 3, imo #YouBears. I can only get one of Buttler and Curran in that way, but so be it.

Burns
Sibley
Hain
Root
Stokes
Pope
Buttler/Foakes

Bowlers Archer, Broad and Leach and one other. Will Anderson do the tours?

[thommo]

I think I would almost forgive them leaving everything else the same as long as they just get rid of Bairstow from the Test team. His form is truly shocking.

[Ian]

I may be way off but it feels like he burns through some absolutely wasteful reviews sometimes because he just can't believe he could possibly be out.

[niko_cee]

He's the new Watto.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Buttler needs to keep wicket if he's going to get picked. Probably harsh on Foakes, but none of the options are good enough as specialist test batsmen.

You can have one dasher who only periodically comes off down there, but you can't build the entire batting line-up out of them.

Yep. I would have Jos as 7/wk/captain (he is brilliant with DRS). I have no idea what they're thinking, I bet Stokes would be next man but I think that's a terrible idea. Captains need to be thinkers.

I've read between the lines on a few journo tweets during this series that suggest Bairstow is a serious drag on the team. He seems to be able to dictate his own role, which is bizarre.

[Ian]

"Jack Leach's average is 21 but England now average 58 runs per dismissal while he is at the crease."

:cool:

[Dave.]

Buttler had a proper brain fart there. Watch Steve Smith beat our score by himself now.:moop:

[Ian]

Must be a typo on the live text because it reads like one of our amazing middle order just chucked away his wicket when he was the key man of the remaining batsmen.

[thommo]

It's hardly Buttler's fault. When he swatted a few sixes last night, he's getting praised for counter-attacking with the tail. Now he's out playing in that manner, we're all bemoaning a rash shot. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[Ian]

It comes down to the coaching and / or selection, ultimately.

But a rubbish shot is a rubbish shot.

[Max Power]

What about Burns for captain? He’s nailed down his spot with some good scores in this series. And he has the advantage of actually having captained a first class side before! No more of this learning on the job shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Would be a good shout but more chance of them digging up Cowdrey.

[Dave.]

Smith and Labuschange are now called Death and Taxes courtesy of the BBC text. :lol:

[Ian]

Well there's one of them gone. Now to get rid of the remainders before Smith hits 300.

Archer hitting the ground running in tests (as well as the ritual mullerings of Davey Warner) is another of the few saving graces of this series for England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gwan son.

Craig Overton, though, great pick for Old Trafford. Height and bounce. Height. TEN FOOT TALL WITH A MASSIVE SPINE

[Dave.]

Burns
Sibley
Hain
Root
Stokes
Pope
Buttler/Foakes

Bowlers Archer, Broad and Leach and one other. Will Anderson do the tours?

Put Curran in that team. Anderson can retire.

[Max Power]

Fuck me he’s missed a straight one.

[niko_cee]

Had a premonition of us being 38-3, with Cummins 3-9 having cleaned up Root first ball again.

Probably need to bat them out of existence if at all possible. How do you figure out what is a defendable target when the Smithbot is potentially chasing it?

[Mellberg]

That might be a difficult call if it wasn't win or bust with regards to drawing the series. Lead of 380 and declare. Fortunately for Root he probably won't have a decision to make anyway.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, we aren't going to be declaring as we'd probably have to bat the best part of 5 sessions.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we bat all day today, that should be sufficient. Smith's innings yesterday was his worst of the series, and the rest of them are a total shitshow. If we end up drawing it 2-2 it will actually be a great outcome for us given how turd we are.

[niko_cee]

I'll take Warner for his catching, and Smith for his banter.

If Warner's in for his catching then Paine is definitely out on his DRS use alone.

Buttler takes the gloves by default, unless Wade's hundred gets him in with a shout.

Good to see Bairstow not making a dashing 50 to cloud selectors' minds.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They will keep picking Bairstow until the two-man selection panel of Root and Bairstow decide otherwise.

If the new coach turns out to be Gillespie he'll probably go the whole hog and recall Ballance.

[Ian]

:rave:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The main good news if/when we close this game out is that it will involve Australians crowing over how they won, even though it was actually a tie.

[Max Power]

What’s the boundary countback over the series

[Gray Fox]

That's another awful review.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fucking love Jofra who has just randomly decided to start giving it to Wade in the most theatrical possible manner.

[Ian]

I was going to ask what the beef is there.

[niko_cee]

Feels like a fairly fitting end to the series, although the last two games would have been better the other way around from a DRAMA perspective.

Couldn't really give a flying fuck about 'the urn' in all honesty.

Warner scored fewer runs than Smith averaged in the series.

:D

In fact, 3 of the bottom 5 Australian batting averages were their openers. lol

Wade's probably nabbed the gloves in the team of the series with that hundred.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He has officially given up keeping, so we'll have to give them to Ben Foakes I think.

This is the first time for a few summers that I haven't had my fill of cricket at this point. I want more. Maybe it's age. Winter is shite.

[niko_cee]

Finals Day still to come.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yep, which I am actually going to so can't really complain. I might have to get myself some sort of Benaud-style seasonal 6 month gig in Australia so I never see darkness again.

[Ian]

He has officially given up keeping, so we'll have to give them to Ben Foakes I think.

This is the first time for a few summers that I haven't had my fill of cricket at this point. I want more. Maybe it's age. Winter is shite.

It probably helps that there has been some monumentally dramatic stuff happening.

Like how come the end of your average football season these days I'm fed up with it.... right up until a summer tournament starts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's partly that (and Archer is the most thrilling cricketer I have seen for years) but I am also out on the club circuit the whole time, finished my umpiring badges and you know, just pour some more of this game into my gullet please it's the best.

[Ian]

1173409129005821952

[Mellberg]

Don't understand all the ticker tape stuff when you've just drawn the series. You'd have to 'retain the urn' quietly, pack your things and go home.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yep, it shouldn't even come out. Handshakes all round, a pint of bitter and on the next ship from Southampton.

[Ian]

Aggers:

Make the Championship one division
I want as much focus and energy to go into Championship cricket as has gone into one-day cricket and driven us to a first World Cup win.

I've always been against two divisions in the Championship; it's always been wrong.

It means that when there are good overseas players signed - for example, when Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne came to play for Worcestershire and Hampshire - only half our players play against them.

I think players in the second division are largely unselectable for Test cricket because the standard simply isn't good enough. County members can shout at me all they like, but we see the evidence when they get picked for England.

Inevitably, any good player will go and play for a first division club, because they know they won't get picked in the second division, and that then creates a further imbalance.

If we are looking to go forward, and we have these new, centralised teams, it may be that we have to build a structure around that.

Maybe we do have 12 teams, which are really, very carefully geographically located. You have one division, everyone plays each other and you have fewer, better, players.

That would be something I would really strongly consider doing - but it'll never happen!

I don't watch any county cricket so I'm interested to hear what those of you who do reckon to what Aggers is saying.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm an 18 counties man. The problem with the less teams = higher quality argument is where do all the players come from if you only have 10 or 12 first class counties? And what about the late developers? And what incentive is there for people in the dwindling number of non first class counties to try and play professional cricket?

How many people, if there are only 110 first XI places in pro cricket, will give up at an earlier age and get a real job?

Where does Jos Buttler get his first 100 professional games to become the player he is if Somerset isn't a county?

If you were going to do something like what Aggers says, you would have to also completely reform the entire system so that every region/county has a pathway and lots of cricket. Shrinking the game is a bad idea, albeit those (like Aggers) who earn a living from international cricket may often be blind to this point.

[Ian]

When England won in 2010-11, they batted for 150 overs, or five sessions, in four of the seven innings. Under Joe Root’s captaincy they have failed to do so in 62 attempts.

Yikes.

[thommo]

Barring Perth, that was just an unbelievable batting performance throughout.

260 all out (Siddle's hat trick), 517-1 dec, 620-5 dec, 513 all out, 644 all out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Chin up Clunge, my boys are rolling over like seals in a spirited attempt to prevent the title going to Somerset. James Vince doing his bit as well.

[Clunge]

It's all over the place. Think we've fucked it.

[Queenslander]

Gotta feel for Stokes atm. How do these people sleep at night?

[Ian]

I am quite surprised given the nature of the story that this hadn't already come out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Amazing, even for the Sun, that the editor thought that would make a good front page splash.

Surrey bringing a tear to the eye here, 7 overs of Borthwick leg spin throwdowns, keep the cider out of that trophy. Zummerset chasing 281 on a minefield to stay alive.

[Ian]

Similarly I've just seen that apparently Gareth Thomas' parents found out about his HIV from a journalist before he told them. Classy bunch.

On the subject of County Cricket I was very pleased to learn recently that there is a player called "Felix Organ."

[Byron]

Yeah they were covering that in the Private Eye.

Of course it's a complete coincidence that about two weeks prior, The Sun ran a story claiming that a major sportsman was going to come out as HIV positive.

[niko_cee]

Jimmy'll be rockin' at that result. How have Notts thrown that one away?

[niko_cee]

Christ, what a final.

T20 finals day must be just about the most English (British) thing going. Glorious madness.

[Danny]

(Soon to be) England’s Harmer running riot

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can put up with a lot of fancy dress bullshit around me for a full day of watching Brother Mo. That they got anywhere near in either game was entirely down to his captaincy. Best captain in England.

The only bad thing about going is all the northerners who want to talk to you. That isn't what we do down south.

[Ian]

Bairstow dropped. :drool:

Matthew Parkinson looks like a Wallace and Gromit character.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I like the Test squad a lot, although Ed Smith proclaiming Ollie Pope to be the backup keeper whilst Foakes remains on the sidelines suggests he is on some kind of acid trip.

[Ian]

Is Ben Foakes from a council estate or something?

Good average so far, good keeper. What's the problem? Is it too obvious for Ed to proclaim is a maverick bit of selection?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Everything we've seen in the Ed Smith era so far suggests they don't give a monkey's about glovework except possibly when we are fielding multiple spinners in the subcontinent. Foakes didn't have an amazing 2019 with the bat ergo no pick.

This (albeit gargantuan) article is good on the subject: http://www.thecricketmonthly.com/story/1083622/point-fielders-with-gloves#targetText=%22The%20story%20of%20the%20No,o f%20the%20wicketkeeper%20as%20batsman.&targetText=A%20No.%207%20might%20have,when%20a%20k eeper%20could%20bat.

That said, that article is a couple of years old and cites in-form 50-averaging Bairstow vs Foakes. 35-averaging Buttler vs Foakes is a different fish entirely, so I would guess that either they are using Ed Smith's mysterious 'weighted averages' again, or they are using a qualitative calculation that Buttler's odd explosive knock outweighs the difference between his keeping and Foakes (which, I would suggest, is pretty large).

[Pleb]

Looks like the Somerset-Essex match is going to be washed off if the weather forecast is anything to go by.

[niko_cee]

Jack Leach at it again. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This pitch is a joke. Having it spin is one thing, but this is exploding everywhere to all types of bowling within the first day's play.

[niko_cee]

Result pitch mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Never fear, Sir Alastair Cook is equal to the task.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Hundred is being launched at the moment and someone's just sent me a picture of various male and female England players lined up in what looks like a police lineup wearing all the different kits, and I kid you not, each one has a different crisp as a sponsor. One has Tyrrell's, Jofra Archer has Pom Bears, a kidnapped-looking Chris Woakes has Butterkist.

Fucking love the Hundred.

[Ian]

Fucking Pombears. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

The pictures are nothing, the brand identity for each team has just been released, I'm gasping for air.

[Ian]

Got a link? My Google-fu has failed me.

[Danny]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/oct/03/ben-stokes-play-leeds-northern-superchargers-hundred-cricket

I assume that’s the one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ali Martin's twitter has them all in a thread. It's amazing.

[John Arne]

the Oval Invincibles logo :D

the Manchester one is actually pretty neat. The rest, shit.

https://gyazo.com/acdb0acc9b2edc7118fe34a2602a731e.jpeg

[Ian]

The "Manchester Originals"? The fuck is that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Right, here is the gold. This stuff is not only 100% real, but is currently the only thing on each team page.

Birmingham Phoenix

Rise with Birmingham Phoenix, and thrive together as one. Bigger, brighter and better united, this team is a celebration of the strength in diversity. Because different is good.

London Spirit

London Spirit is an iconic team for an iconic city, rooted in tradition and lighting the way to the future, with a unique ability to conjure something special.

Manchester Originals

Manchester Originals. Pioneers. Revolutionaries. Celebrating a global city of firsts. Laughing in the face of limits. Raising the bar forever higher.

Northern Superchargers

Step aside for Northern Superchargers, a team whose drive and determination is matched only by their desire to win. Powered by positivity and people who get stuff done when every ball counts.

Oval Invincibles

Belong to something bigger, with Oval Invincibles. Vibrant, expressive, and free to play their own way, this team leaves a lasting impression long after the last ball.

Southern Brave

Follow Southern Brave, and go boldly where others shy away. Endlessly curious, with an insatiable appetite for adventure, what’s over the horizon?

Trent Rockets

Join Trent Rockets for the biggest party in the country. Everyone’s invited - so long as you don’t mind having the most fun. Volume up, ready for launch.

Welsh Fire

Spark the Welsh Fire. Burning bright with intense passion and relentless energy, their hunger will prove the haters wrong. Get ready to feel the heat.

SPARK THE WELSH FIRE

[Pepe]

That is atrocious. Manufactured identities. :lol:

[Danny]

It’s almost like American sport. I hate it.

[niko_cee]

Every aspect of it is more brilliant than the last.

Loving the crisp sponsorships.

[Ian]

Fucking hell.

[John Arne]

The "Manchester Originals"? The fuck is that?

Pioneers. Revolutionaries. Celebrating a global city of firsts. Laughing in the face of limits. Raising the bar forever higher.

I'd have thought that was pretty obvious.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The best bit is still to come when they all have to draft a 'non-playing player'.

[Shindig]

Why is the North all lumped together like that? This is geographic nonsense.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Step aside for Northern Superchargers, a team whose drive and determination is matched only by their desire to win. Powered by positivity and people who get stuff done when every ball counts.

Northern people, cold up there, never been, never will, they are dirt poor BUT THEY'RE HAPPY. All that working, in the mining pits and the pitting mines, and steelworks made out of coal, and coalworks made out of steel, they work hard, beat their wives, and keep posing for photos with the fucking canary because they may be poor, BUT THEY'RE HAPPY. Working people work on their work and work hard to GET STUFF DONE, not work, but STUFF, which is far more important to the northern powered up tragic mining disaster shipyard SUPERCHARGERS.

[Shindig]

All to the Hovis theme.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rise with Birmingham Phoenix, and thrive together as one. Bigger, brighter and better united, this team is a celebration of the strength in diversity. Because different is good.

You see, yeah, in Birmingham you get these people with brown skin and beards, right, and they eat this funny spicy food and some of them don't drink alcohol, yeah, but they like bat and ball games (don't mention the c-word) so we need to monetise them, yeah, I mean, not the women, sorry not the mums, yeah, because they have to cover their faces in public, but the men, yeah, so what we need to do, yeah, is give their team really bright colours, yeah, like the exotic orient, yeah, and use twenty year old catchphrases which went out with Robin Cook's heart, right, because if we can attract the Asian market, yeah, there'll be, like, more wallets at our disposal, yeah, and JUST TELL THEM THEY'RE DIFFERENT, SUSAN. THEY'RE DIFFERENT AND THEY'RE FUCKING BROWN AND THAT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS

[Shindig]

Set that one to Red Red Wine.

[thommo]

Chris Silverwood has been promoted from bowling coach to be the new England head coach.

[Ian]

Definitely 100% heard of him.

[niko_cee]

A decent bowler in his day.

[John Arne]

.

Jimmy - rules question... If a batsmen legally hits the ball twice - so he didn't intefer with a fielder trying to catch the ball, perhaps he was just deflecting the ball away from the stumps - can he be caught out from the second hit?

[John Arne]

And I guess naturally the follow up... What if A) the ball never touched the floor between hit 1 and hit 2 and B) the ball bounced on the floor after strike 1 before being hit in the air and caught from strike 2.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He can hit the ball twice if he is attempting to protect his wicket, except where that would prevent a catch from being taken.

He would probably be out hit the ball twice if caught from the second hit, as that happened first, although you could also give him out caught if you really wanted to.

[John Arne]

He can hit the ball twice if he is attempting to protect his wicket, except where that would prevent a catch from being taken.

Sure. But can he be caught out from that second hit?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yes, he can.

[John Arne]

Yes, he can.

Cheers.

[Waffdon]

Looks like Ben Stokes is a cunt after all. A wife beating one.

[thommo]

Looks like Ben Stokes is a cunt after all. A wife beating one.

Nope, just more absolute shite peddled by the press.

[Waffdon]

Doesn’t look very ‘squishy’ or whatever his missus tweeted. Something someone in a violent relationship would probably say.

[Queenslander]

Smith out for a duck v QLD.

https://www.theroar.com.au/cricket/video/queensland-do-what-england-couldnt-get-steve-smith-out-for-a-duck-919347/

[Jimmy Floyd]

That bowler played in the Surrey leagues this year, when we faced him he was shall we say on the brisker side at that level. Almost too much so as nobody could see it to nick him.

[Queenslander]

Bloody hell that sounds a bit dangerous.

[Queenslander]

Warner got a ton and I heard he jumped up and down 7 times and went on 3 laps of honor.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The World T20 qualifier started today and Scotland lost to Singapore, which is probably worse than when we lost to Scotland.

They can't catch a break in sport at the moment, can they.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The draft for the Hundred is on Sky at 7, for those who wish to witness the death of civilisation as we know it.

I think I'm going to be a Southern Brave fan, just because it's amazing they've come up with the name Southern Brave and actually approved it.

[niko_cee]

OK, so what's the significance of the 'local icon' tag?

All about Mo, Pat Brown and the Birmingham Phoenix.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The local icons were the 2nd and 3rd picks of domestic players from the catchment counties, so Oval went for the Currans, the Welsh lot went for Ingram and Banton, etc.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EHWYY5mX0AA0aw7?format=jpg&name=large

Not sure who has the best side but I can only presume the Manchester drafting team were on some kind of LSD trip.

I actually reckon the crack Southern Brave drafting squadron of Mahela Jayawardene, Mark Nicholas and some nerd might have done the best.

[Ian]

Gayle going undrafted. :drool:

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2019/oct/24/parliament-ecb-gamble-the-hundred-cricket

Matthew Engel is well up for the Hundred.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tom Harrison is a ridiculous, Brent-esque, Ed Woodward Max sort of figure, whereas Graves is a bullying liar. Neither should ever be let near a cricket ground again. Graves should probably be in prison, if not for this then for something else, he just stinks of old-fashioned northern corruption.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/table/series/8040/season/2019/icc-mens-t20-world-cup-qualifier

I love these associate tournaments. Absolute mayhem in both groups. It looks as though Papua New Guinea and Oman are in pole position to qualify automatically and then there are 4 direct playoffs for the other spots.

[Jimmy Floyd]

PNG qualified. Oman just had to beat tiny little Jersey today in order to join them, and, reader, they did not. So Ireland are going through instead.

There now follows a series of playoffs for the final places, most of which are on Sky I think. Not sure how Holland and Scotland have allowed PNG to finish above them. Scotland in particular seem to be a complete joke.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/50222349

The Desh. :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are playing our first T20I against New Zealand at the stunningly excellent start time of 1.00am, which makes no sense either here or in New Zealand, unless it's a public holiday there on 1 Nov, which it isn't. Team likely to be this:

Malan
Bairstow
Vince
Morg'n
Billings +
Gregory
Curran S
Jordan
Curran T
Rashid
Brown

Pat Brown I have seen a surprising amount of at finals days and is 20/21 and a genuine master of the knuckle ball, so it'll be interesting to see how he gets on. The top five is pretty rubbish but still quite strong, I'd like to see Tom Banton feature instead of our old mate Vince.

[Ian]

Does Vince get 24 every time in T20 too?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He has a higher average in T20Is than the other two formats of cricket (which are both 24, as it happens), which sums him up really.

[ItalAussie]

PNG qualified. Oman just had to beat tiny little Jersey today in order to join them, and, reader, they did not. So Ireland are going through instead.

There now follows a series of playoffs for the final places, most of which are on Sky I think. Not sure how Holland and Scotland have allowed PNG to finish above them. Scotland in particular seem to be a complete joke.

Delighted for PNG, obviously. I hope the Netherlands manage to keep being borderline half-decent though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are probably better than ever. Loads of depth and 'found' one or two more established players like Colin Ackermann. Beat Ireland yesterday to reach the final against PNG. I would expect them to challenge some of the lower ranked full members in 50 or 20 over formats.

[ItalAussie]

They are probably better than ever. Loads of depth and 'found' one or two more established players like Colin Ackermann. Beat Ireland yesterday to reach the final against PNG. I would expect them to challenge some of the lower ranked full members in 50 or 20 over formats.
If cricket wasn't so short-sighted, they'd probably try to encourage this a little bit more than they do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The ICC does a lot of good work to be fair, but within the top 10 nothing can ever happen because India wants to shrink the sport and retain its dominance. Them blocking Olympic entry is the most ridiculous thing in world sport.

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/nov/14/romanian-cricket-hero-pavel-florin-denied-visa-to-play-in-australia

Booooo.

[Ian]

So what's our batting line-up for this test then?

Burns, Sibley, Denly, Root, Stokes, Pope, Buttler?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The very same.

Pope is a freak show, Sibley is kind of another Burns (but not as ugly). I like it. Four Surrey academy grads in the team too, get that strut going.

[Ian]

Pope is a freak show

How so?

I like the look of it too from what I've read about Sibley.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pope has magic wrists (a bit like Buttler or Morgan) and plays shots no one else can. He also has a first class average of 59 and highest score of 251, all by the age of 21.

We fucked him over a bit by inexplicably picking him at 4 last year (he's a 5/6) but not even that can derail a talent like him.

[Ian]

So do you reckon, be it immediately or in time, he'll make the middle order a bit more consistent for us or is it just going to be another type of glass cannon?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think six is a good place for him to start and time will tell. The middle order depends a lot on the top order not exposing them to the new ball. If you were going to pigeon hole him, he's a talent rather than a grinder.

[Ian]

As if Pakistan are starting a guy in a test match who was born when Tatu were number 1. He can surely only be about 4 years old.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Everyone is making the usual Pakistani age assumptions, but the guy really doe look pretty young.

[igor_balis]

No work tomorrow, so excited for sibleys century :drool:

[Ian]

Obviously need to see how it holds up after play starts tomorrow, when England usually love a collapse, but that all sounds reasonably promising. Would've been nice for Sibley to get more but it sounds like he was doing the right things. And of course a glorious return to 4 for Root.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Big Colin de Grandhomme 19-5-28-2, sounds like I slept through an enthralling day's cricket.

[hfswjyr]

Unplayable medium pace dross. What a player.

[Ian]

Initial dismay at no Bob on The notVerdict but they replaced him with Nas so I'll take that.

[Max Power]

Stokes is on top of the world right now. In some unreal nick.

[niko_cee]

Is this a really flat pitch or are NZ just serving up some real buffet here? Looks way too easy.

5 ... 4 ... 3 ...

[Ian]

Sometimes sport is all about luck/timing. When James Vince had to bat at three in NZ, it was on raging green tops. Look at this one! He'd hit runs for fun.

G Dog, Verwood

No, "G Dog", he'd get 24 and then waft one out.

[Ian]

Ah, excellent, flashing at things wide of off stump.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is a shitpit grind it out sort of a wicket, you can't take the initiative on it, you just have to wait for freebies and/or churn out singles. If you are disciplined, they won't get you out. The Bayliss team would be 196 all out and now watching Kane begin to compile 184* (451).

[Queenslander]

That 16 year old bowler is bloody fast.

[Ian]

Well I went to bed saying that if Leach could add a couple himself and help Buttler get to 50-odd I'd be happy so I think this is a pretty good position.

Jimmy's boy coming up with the goods again.

[niko_cee]

Only caught a bit of the first session again last night, but the pitch looks Nagpur levels of awful.

Should be interesting to see if we can avoid collapsing in a heap in the third innings.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This could genuinely be a draw if we don't collapse second dig.

God bless Nagpur, what a game that was.

[thommo]

Nagpur was Rooteh's debut, wasn't it?

Unbelievably slow morning, 49 runs in 28 overs so far. Surprised NZ haven't even attempted to up the run rate a little.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Seven wickets to last us the day, about time Root did something here because I'm becoming fed up with his shit captaincy and increasingly disappointing returns with the willow.

[Ian]

The captaincy seems to be draining the life from him.

[niko_cee]

Imagine getting run through by Santner and De Grandhomme.

It'll be a best effort since we let that giant West Indian (non)spinner lol his way through us.

[niko_cee]

Neil Wagner's another bowler who I've never really understood. Highly aggressive, but never really strikes me as having the pace to really back it up. I'm guessing it's worked to bounce us out though.

[Ian]

Still, at least day 1 was alright. Remember day 1? They felt like good times.

[niko_cee]

Did we have three 'keepers playing when Foakes was knocking about with the gloves not too long ago? Seems like some effort to go from that, to not having any playing at all.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This team is absolutely crackers. Ed Smith is a mong.

[Danny]

No spinner and a non keeping keeper keeping? 90s England all over again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A five man seam attack and someone being handed his debut cap by Joe Denly, it's amazing stuff really.

Jeet Raval is shite, New Zealand literally have about 9 good crickerers at any one time but what they make of them.

[Ian]

What is a Zak Crawley?

[thommo]

That lbw decision that was overturned has to be a joke. The noise comes when the ball is a yard past the bat, and there is nothing on hotspot (which is fucking wank by the way, let's bin that off). Shambles and a real shame because Broad had set Taylor up to get trapped in front.

[Queenslander]

Davey Warner getting 250 against this bowling line up is fucking grim.

[Max Power]

If this odious flat track bully breaks Lara’s record...

[niko_cee]

Is that some sort of attempt at humility or has Smith just pulled the rug out from under him?

[Queenslander]

Common sense prevailing.

[Queenslander]

Allowing that cunt to pass Bradman is disgraceful.


380 Matthew Hayden Zimbabwe WACA Ground, Perth, Australia 9 October 2003

2 335* David Warner Pakistan Adelaide Oval, Adelaide, Australia 29 November 2019

3 334* Mark Taylor Pakistan Peshawar Club Ground, Peshawar, Pakistan 15 October 1998

4 334 Don Bradman England Headingley, Leeds, England 11 July 1930

5 329* Michael Clarke India Sydney Cricket Ground, Sydney, Australia 3 January 2012

[ItalAussie]

Looking forward to the NZ matches over here though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You will annihilate them as well. No one touches Australia on these decks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wish Root would put away this wristy shite down to third man. He is constantly out to it in one form or another and almost was then too.

[Max Power]

I am pro Burns but even his actual scores for England have been hilariously streaky.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a method in that tbh. You don't see Jimmy 'not seen him since' Vince getting Burns's luck because the bat is always coming down straight lines with hard hands. Set up like a cement mixer, play with the hands of a teenage boy undoing his first bra, and they'll need funny angles or a snorter to get you out.

[Max Power]

He certainly doesn’t seem to let the edges and the misses affect him either. Solid enough character.

It’s a disgrace I’ll be asleep when England finally make 400.

[niko_cee]

First test ambush, second test draw, that seems to be the way series in NZ always go.

[igor_balis]

That drop was incredible.

[Ian]

It was quite impressive.

I'm seeing "worst dropped catch in Test cricket" getting bandied about a lot but I don't have the wealth of games watched to know if I agree or not.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is a Mike Gatting one from the archives which is worse than anything you could ever imagine. Robelinda tweeted it the other day.

[thommo]

Gatting could at least blame some sun in the sky. Archer was legitimately off celebrating when he shelled that last night.

I have to say, this Test series really damped my normal enjoyment of late-night, winter cricket. Awful pitches which made for slow, torturous run compiling and a series too short to develop any battles or intrigue. That pitch today had barely a blemish and was still slow off the pitch, offering no lateral movement.

[niko_cee]

Test cricket in the downunderverse is universally shit to watch.

Hopefully the South Africa series will be more interesting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Their pathetic Kookaburra ball doesn't help either, loads everything in favour of batsmen. Might as well use a hockey ball.

[Ian]

Happy memories of sitting in our old house one more while Stokes smeared them all over the ground.

Three years ago now. For fuck's sake.

[Ian]

There's a thing, should* the Test Championship not demand that the same type of ball be used everywhere? Okay so wickets aren't the same everywhere either but the ball is a different issue.

* I know it will never change.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think they claim that the Dukes wears out in drier countries, i.e. other countries. To be honest, the Teat Championship is more of a random points table that someone has drawn up than it is an actual championship.

[Ian]

Yeah I tried to look at the format for it one day and to understand how they score series of different length etc. but I soon realised it wasn't worth it.

[thommo]

It's fucking ridiculous. There are so many instances where you can get more points for performing worse or playing shorter series.

[Danny]

Bob Willis is dead at 70

[Waffdon]

I’m more shocked he wasn’t nearer 85. Fucking 70?!

‘Well, Charles...’

[Ian]

Bob Willis is dead at 70

:(

Bob on the Verdict when it was still that and they had a full hour to get into stuff was one of the best sports pundits going. And Sky have a few good'uns on the cricket so that wasn't without competition.

"Simple Simon was the pie-man today" is still an amazing line. :D

[Luke Emia]

Absolutely gutted. Was not expecting to see that when I opened up the thread.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Real shame, and no age really, a bona fide legend.

[Max Power]

Big bad Bob. We all had some laughs at his punditry barbs but what a bowler he was. Such a shame.


Was he ill? He was on telly last week ffs.

[thommo]

That's really sad news. 70 is nothing nowadays.

[Ian]

Big bad Bob. We all had some laughs at his punditry barbs but what a bowler he was. Such a shame.


Was he ill? He was on telly last week ffs.

A short illness they say. He was on the Debate at the start of the Kiwi tests so that's a heart attack or a stroke or something right?.

I've not seen a lot of his bowling. Interestingly the most "wow" moments are in Sky's recent Botham's Ashes series. He looked colossal in clips from that

[Jimmy Floyd]

Prostate cancer - I don't think he was on it in this series.

I met him once, at a local club six a side tournament where he turned up for no particular reason as far as I could see, got absolutely bladdered and then insulted everyone while handing out the prizes. Legend.

[Ian]

I could've sworn he was on the first episode or two of the Debate for the first test but I may well be wrong. Doesn't matter anyway. Genuinely a bit sad about it.

[Dave.]

RIP Bob Willis. He retired from cricket just before I started watching but his bowling statistics speak for themselves. He was good on commentary but really found his niche on The Debate. He really made that programme worth watching. :hail:

[Ian]

I wonder if they'll get another regular or just have two rotating guests. More Nas would be excellent.