The Cricket Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

Broad has been absolutely world class in this innings (and for the last few series actually). The Woakesinator also great.

[Ian]

Broad taking loads of wickets and bowling properly is all well and good but who's ENFORCING while he's doing that, eh?

[igor_balis]

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/1236896_1252279151465480_4172151405599833804_n.jpg ?oh=2c242479f2082ff19c47c361b6314a12&oe=5707C36C

:happycry:

[Ian]

The former bowlers on last night's Verdict suggesting that being a short batsman isn't the worst thing that could possibly happen.

Haven't they read the script?

[Ian]

Bob saying on the Verdict that you can't expect much more than ropey footwork and drops from Bairstow because he's not a wicketkeeper. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bob has a point. There are probably better keepers who don't even play county cricket. All about batting these days though apparently.

[Max Power]

If he's batting down at 7 rather than 5 we might as well pick Buttler who is the bigger talent with bat and gloves

[Ian]

Given we bat pretty deep you'd think we could afford to look at whoever's the best wicketkeeper (did Buttler's keeping deteriorate when his batting did?) but of course the ECB has a very specific idea what exact mould every player has to fit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Buttler was dropped because of his batting form (despite keeping pretty well) so you can only presume they see keeping to be a completely irrelevant skill. It isn't though, especially in a Test match where taking 20 wickets is the way to win.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On that subject just seen this from George Dobell:


This keeping error was not a one-off. England's policy of selecting keepers primarily on the basis of their batting ability has led to a ridiculous situation where the team has not taken a wicket through a stumping in Test cricket since 2012.

Bejesus, that is incredible.

[Max Power]

Although I think Buttler is decent with the gloves. I can remember him fluffing a couple of stumpings. Bairsy has no chance though

[Davgooner]

Don't play a keeper.

[Ian]

Who's the best pure wicketkeeper in England, then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't play a keeper.

Didn't Northants try that for a bit in a T20 last year?

Best gloveman is James Foster or Chris Read. Both are old, so if you want one in their 20s you're looking at possibly Adam Wheater but he struggles getting county games in div 1 because they all pack their batting. Ben Brown also quite good and may have done some limited Lions stuff. There is the curious case of a guy called Michael Bates who is supposedly the best gloveman anywhere but he doesn't even have a county contract because of his batting stats.

Surrey always play about 4 keepers but all of them are shite.

[Blitz]

Wow, what an utter shit day for us. Our cricket is broken. Captaincy has seemingly broken Amla, he's been really ordinary lately, in every aspect. Faf and Duminy has been shit for too long now. Also, I can't understand our apparent need to shove a middle order batsman to open an innings (van Zyl). We have a very good opener scoring consistently in first class cricket in Stephen Cook.
Our line-up should be:

Elgar (Ugly but effective, looks like he can grind it out.)
Cook (Has been scoring consistently for years in first class cricket.)
Amla (Shouldn't be captain, but he'll be fine.)
AB (As good as it gets, what a champ.)
5 and 6 should be a straight shootout between van Zyl, Bavuma, Faf and Duminy, whoever's in the best form, gets to play.
de Kock (Young and talented, just needs to sort out some small issues.)
Rabada (Future star.)
Abbot/Philander (Depending on injury, form and suitability to certain conditions.)
Steyn (Duh.)
Morkel (Same as Steyn.)

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does Quinny qualify for the quota? Saw he got a hundred from six today.

I'd have thought Rilee Roussouw for the somewhat hapless van Zyl will happen soon.

You need to find a black wicketkeeper from somewhere and let AB off the leash.

[hfswjyr]

Sri Lanka getting ripped apart by McClenaghan. Oh dear. We've just brought on our specialist spinner Sodhi for a few overs in case he doesn't do anything at all this game.

[elth]

This might be the last time the West Indies get a 3 match series in Australia for a long time. They're a complete shambles.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Every time I've looked at the Australia score this winter against either them or NZ they have been 500 for 4. We'll see if that continues in NZ (it won't).

[Byron]

So is it Broeen? Or Mooad?

Either way, :cool:

[Max Power]

Excellent cricket from England this morning. Another South African fourth innings blockathon on the cards?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Moeen Ali baby
Moeen Ali, wooooooah

So good. 300+ lead and watch them suffer.

[Ian]

Stat on the live text saying SA haven't topped 250 in 7 tests. Surely I've misread that/ it's not right? :cab:

Brilliant stuff anyway and pleased to see Finn pick up a couple at the end. Proper innings from Elgar too.

[Byron]

I don't watch enough cricket to know how rare it is (i imagine it must be bloody rare ) but that's the first time I've seen an opener carry their bat. Properly good innings from Elgar.

[Ian]

They said on the live text it was the first time a South African had done it since 1991 I think.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rahul Dravid memorably did it for India against us in 2011 and then kept the pads on to follow on.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england-v-india-2011/engine/match/474475.html

Looking back at that series, in the third Test we racked up 710 for 7 in the first innings. What the fuck were we playing at?

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol Steyn going off injured. 4-0 England.

[Max Power]

Completely forgot they recalled RP Singh solely becuase he bowled quite well in England four years previously. What a disgrace they were that series.

Steyn injured now. Hello.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Elgar shelled a sitter off Compton at slip, and then AB da Vinci put down a top edge from Root. Proper Test match, this.

[Ian]

Chief Justice Sir Bob Willis having a rare slip and saying Steyn's injury will be devastating to Pakistan.

[Max Power]

All I want(ed) for Christmas is a Moeen Ali cover drive :drool:

[Ian]

Were Steyn not broken he'd have taken the new ball immediately, right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is broken. Don't tell me he's on the field injured again?

Bairstow sticking his hand up for a lengthy run in the side here. If this lineup works it is sexual tbf.

[Max Power]

Woakes is definitely the new Bresnan. Useful down the order and apparently "bowls a heavy ball" and "hits the bat harder than you think" but really it's a bit average I want someone better and more interesting

[Jimmy Floyd]

He was unlucky in the first innings I thought, Bairstow shelling Amla off his bowling. He has become a little bit Bressier in recent times, when I first saw him he didn't have the same guns or the extra 5mph but he nipped it past county players for fun.

I'd quite happily have him in a 4 man attack but it gets dicey when Jimmy comes back, as it'll be him or Finn and Finn is definitely the more threatening.

[Max Power]

Maybe not a great pitch for him either. He'll be out for Jimmy next test like you say and Wood is ahead of him in the pecking order.

Decent start here. Get Mo on

[Max Power]

Sorry Bairstow just nowhere near good enough with the gloves. Shame after a nice innings but that is poor

[Jimmy Floyd]

Binning Amla and AB in the same game is all a bit Kamran Akmal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Faf' is fucking atrocious.

[Max Power]

Still have a little feeling De Villiers might do something ludicrous tomorrow. But I suppose even if he did we could blow them away at the other end and win the match fairly tidily.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they get 280 on a fifth day track with AB and Temba Bavuma, JP Duminy and four number 11s, then fair play.

[Ian]

He is broken. Don't tell me he's on the field injured again?

Sorry, the "he" there was Amla.

[Ian]

Bob saying on the Verdict that he thinks there's a case for Finn getting the new ball even if Broad and/or Anderson are fit and in the team alongside him. Thoughts?

Also, Finn's got the sixth best strike rate ever, apparently. Crikey.

EDIT: Just seen that Bairstow one. Surely he's got enough time there that he should be getting that? I know it's gone through de Villiers but surely a proper wicketkeeper gets that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not a sitter but you'd want a Test level keeper to convert that.

I wouldn't give Finn the new ball ahead of Broad or Anderson. You could chuck him the second new ball for a change up against the middle and lower order who can't deal with his bounce. A decent opener (not Stiaan van Zyl) will just leave him alone with the first new ball and then have the technique to pounce on his loose ball.

[Danny]

Not a sitter but you'd want a Test level keeper to convert that.

I wouldn't give Finn the new ball ahead of Broad or Anderson. You could chuck him the second new ball for a change up against the middle and lower order who can't deal with his bounce. A decent opener (not Stiaan van Zyl) will just leave him alone with the first new ball and then have the technique to pounce on his loose ball.

Apparently we havent taken a stumping in test cricket since 2012. We dont pick Test keepers unfortunately.

Agree with you on Finn. Just too loose to open.

[Ian]

Prior giving it a lot of shit about Bairstow "working on his keeping" too. He shouldn't fucking have to.

Can't a wicketkeeper be good at that and work on his batting?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's just describing his own career there.

1, 2, 3... MOEEN ALI BABY

Needs a full set of lyrics. You were working as a batsman at Worcester-shar, when I found you.

[Ian]

That's a proper pasting. Torn between gutted to have missed it and delighted to have woken up to it having been all done and dusted in orderly fashion.

[Davgooner]

Giving them a good twatting and killing Steyn in the process is decent work. Anderson back in for Woakes and we should have enough to do this lot, especially if Moeen can keep taking wickets.

[Luke Emia]

Well that was a turn up for the books. I'd barely even gotten to work today and we had already won. Saturday I'm doing fuck all so could be a good chance to get a solid 4-5 hours of watching in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They've brought Quinton de Kock and Chris Morris into the squad. de Kock (keeper/will bat 7) I have seen a lot of and he is very talented but flighty, a fit Jimmy will have him for breakfast. Morris is a mentalhead seamer who is a better batsman than their usual grubby tail, and also in decent form, which will no doubt be annoying. He's also a decent seamer, though no world beater. Think Peter Siddle crossed with Andre Nel.

I'd guess Duminy will probably swing, leaving them with this:

van Zyl
Elgar
Amla
de Villiers
'Faf'
Bavuma
de Kock
Morris / Abbott
Rabada
Piedt
Morkel

We'll be the same plus Jimmy.

[Max Power]

Jimmy is back. Rabada, De Kock and comedy legend Chris Morris in for the hosts.

England bat first. Rack em up lads

[Max Power]

Quite looking forward to seeing Rabada actually. Haven't watched him since he routed Austrailia in the under 19 World Cup. Seems a special talent.

[Byron]

If ever there was a ground for a Hales hundred...

[Max Power]

I count only one loose waft so far from him so good signs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rabada is next level. Well, he's no Sam Curran, but that aside.

[Byron]

5 off of 34 balls. Compdog :cool:

[Max Power]

Dare I say, Misbahesque from Compton. Plodding along with everyone (wrongly) moaning about strike rates and he just hops out the bunker to launch the spinner into the stands :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is such a fucking good platform. 400+ please. Moeen taking us up to 500 with a dashing fifty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Dare I say, Misbahesque from Compton. Plodding along with everyone (wrongly) moaning about strike rates and he just hops out the bunker to launch the spinner into the stands :cool:

I saw the other day that the most Test sixes in 2015 was Misbah with 20, and the next man down had 13. The man really needs more awards.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rabada just has this rare ability to bowl a fucking snorter and take a wicket out of nowhere. Finn-esque.

[Max Power]

Stokes assault on the second new ball was a bit special. Looked like a bit of turn later on. Could be another hard one to bat last on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That five over burst from Stokes was the game for me. Even if we do our usual morning act and get bowled out for 350, that's too many I think. Our bowling attack will do damage on this.

People like Stokes you have to look far beyond the overall stats and look to passages like that when he's gone a long way to establishing our dominance in the game.

[Max Power]

The Stokes/Flintoff comparisons are a bit lazy but Freddie had fairly average stats. It was never about the stats, it was about that one counter attacking innings, that one nasty spell of bowling.

Stokes is already a better player than Freddie was at the same age and is frankly a miles better batsman. Having Moeen at 8 sort of makes it easier to survive a poor Stokes series like the last Ashes series

[Jimmy Floyd]

Stokes is actually perfect for us because we already have 3 seamers (and a ridiculous crop of new ones on the way up behind them) so it doesn't matter that he isn't a Flintoff-like attack leading bowler, but what we don't have is another destructive batsman like that. Well there is Buttler, but personally I don't think he's actually good enough in long form cricket.

Cook
x
x
Root
Taylor
Stokes
Bairstow if he can sort his keeping out
Moeen
x
Broad
Finn

There's no reason that lot can't largely be together for the next five years and that's being pessimistic about Hales. Let the good times roll.

[Max Power]

Quite a likeable bunch of #lads as well, Hales included.

Despair and failure is always just around the corner though. Bowled out for 350 and they rack up 550 (Smith 220, Kallis 180*)

[Blitz]

I was fairly happy with the team selection today, except for Faf being in. Either him and Duminy should both have been dropped(Rossouw and Quinny replacing them), or only Faf. Seems like he forgot how to make runs. It's either 100% block mode, or get out in any way possible.

I was not happy with the how Amla captained again, he really should not be the captain, and I fear the biggest reason for him being 1. Selected as captain, and 2. Stay captain for way too long, is racially motivated. In the past he has said that he isn't interested in captaining, and AB said he wants the job. What a pity.

I can't work out why Morkel didn't take the 2nd new ball, that was just shit.

Lastly, Rabada is such a talent, very excited about him. Seems to have a good head on his shoulder as well from interviews I've seen and read.

Jimmy, do you know about Ian Pont, the bowling coach?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know he's some guy who cruises around the world with a mullet saying he can add 10mph to every fast bowler with his advanced methods. I don't doubt that he can, but seems too much of a maverick to attract work from major cricket boards, except Pakistan I think, god love them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sussex's Matt Hobden has died at 22.

[Byron]

We could have declared at 300 and I'd still be confident. How are this lot the No. 1 ranked Test side?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Because the rankings reflect things that have happened in the past.

[Ian]

This has been a bit mental from Stokes, especially the way he came charging out the gate this morning. I reckon he spent most of last night smeared in blood, shrieking at the moon and guzzling Sunny D.

Over 100 just this morning for him.

[Samadini]

This is an absolute piss take from Stokes.

[Luke Emia]

We haven't even got Moeen and Broady out for the 'counter-attack' yet.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus fucking fuck.

Graam Smuts should really shut the fuck up about Amla being a shit captain.

[Ian]

Broadcasting Stokes doing this to them pre-watershed is questionable, I'd say.

[Luke Emia]

This is brutal. I don't think I've ever watched anything like it live.

[Cord]

This surely must be the best morning in the history of gingers. In a hot and sunny place as well.

Marvellous.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Hashim Amla/Moeen Ali chant is right up there as well.

[Max Power]

Absolute carnage. Gutted I'm missing this

[Ian]

http://gutbusterwrestling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/stopthematch.jpg

[Blitz]

I know he's some guy who cruises around the world with a mullet saying he can add 10mph to every fast bowler with his advanced methods. I don't doubt that he can, but seems too much of a maverick to attract work from major cricket boards, except Pakistan I think, god love them.

I've read enough about him for me to feel he knows what he's talking about. He said on twitter yesterday he want to work with Rabada, and if he is really as good as he claims, then it'll be pretty amazing. He's worked with Steyn, Lee and Akhtar amoungst some other player.

He works with the Bangladeshi bowlers if I'm not mistaken, and looking at the CWC, it seems he's done a good job on them.

[Blitz]

What an incredible morning, fuck. Utter shit bowling, but credit to the batsmen, they forced this.

Our cricket is broken a bit, and these gingers went a long way to make sure it stays that way for some while yet.

[Davgooner]

This is obscene.

[Davgooner]

:lol:

That just tops it off.

[Samadini]

Fucking hell :D

[Samadini]

The scenes in the crowd too, everything about this is glorious.

[Davgooner]

Had Stokes just had enough then or what?

Moeen to smack a hundred. :nodd:

[Ian]

Didn't expect that declaration. Presumably to have the bowlers as fresh as possible?

That start for the Saffers. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/england/12079213/Ben-Stokes-the-superstar-with-brilliance-of-Adam-Gilchrist-and-Garry-Sobers-is-just-tip-of-the-iceberg.html

I literally can't imagine a more tiresome cunt than that one.

Michael Vaughan on Ben Stokes: 'I doubt if he knows who I am'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Chris Gayle is in trouble for saying to a female TV interviewer in the Big Bash: 'Hopefully we win the game and we can have some drinks later. Don't blush, baby.'

Such a knobhead.

[Max Power]

Alex Hales is having a bowl. Hmm.

[Ian]

Get Cook in. He did remove Ishant Sharma that one time, after all.

[Queenslander]

Chris Gayle is in trouble for saying to a female TV interviewer in the Big Bash: 'Hopefully we win the game and we can have some drinks later. Don't blush, baby.'

Such a knobhead.

The Baby Boomers are out in force defending Rapey Gayle this morning.

It lieterally feels like a whole generation of men have had life pass them by.

[Mr. Malik]

Chris Gayle is in trouble for saying to a female TV interviewer in the Big Bash: 'Hopefully we win the game and we can have some drinks later. Don't blush, baby.'

Such a knobhead.

It's not the worst thing he could have said, it's just a man asking a woman out for a drink. Sure you could say it's wrong to proposition people at their place of employment but it's not like that stops people from chatting up bartenders or supermarket checkout operators.

I'm not defending his actions but it has certainly been overblown. If it didn't happen on TV nobody would care.

[Queenslander]

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-01-05/chris-gayle-labelled-a-creep-after-controversial-interview/7068316

He's a serial offender.

Edit: This will be his last season in the BBL.

[ItalAussie]

It's a really dick move to make a pass at someone in a situation where they can't leave if it makes them uncomfortable. Let alone in a public setting when they're trying to do their job. What an ass.

Chris Rogers has had some really harsh things to say about his dressing room behaviour when they played together, as well.


EDIT: Queenslander got in before me. Rogers' comments are in the article.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's not the worst thing he could have said, it's just a man asking a woman out for a drink. Sure you could say it's wrong to proposition people at their place of employment but it's not like that stops people from chatting up bartenders or supermarket checkout operators.

I'm not defending his actions but it has certainly been overblown. If it didn't happen on TV nobody would care.

What you're basically saying is that if any women want to work in cricket, they should accept that being leered at and publicly humiliated by Chris Gayle is part of the job.

[igor_balis]

Where's good to watch cricket highlights online? Obviously I don't have a sky subscription. By highlights I mean ~1-2 hours per day's play, not those shitty youtube videos with a day's play condensed into 5 minutes of wickets and the occasional boundary.

[Queenslander]

Indian teen scores 1,000 in school match.

http://www.cricket.com.au/news/indian-teenager-scores-1000-school-cricket-match-pranav-dhanawade/2016-01-05

Well that's just bloody gross.

[Ian]

"Bat's Man" amused me.

Also with this and the one on their tour over here it feels like about a third of my life has been dedicated to two Amla innings.

[Davgooner]

Barmy Army!

[Ian]

Now this has made me chuckle. It seems James Anderson has been given a telling-off by umpire Aleem Dar for saying something out of turn, and in protest England captain Alastair Cook is refusing to speak, giving his fielders instructions using only finger pointing and arm waving.

That sounds like a proper tantrum. :D

[Davgooner]

Barmy Army!

It's gone squarely tits-up from the moment I posted that. Hales will be back on in a minute.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a clip of Stokes telling Bavuma 'You are absolutely shit' going round twitter, when on 8. Doesn't seem to have paid off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Australia have pulled out of the under 19 World Cup. They are always the first team to pull out of cricket matches in dodgy countries - in my time I've seen them pull out of all the subcontinent nations bar India (they pulled out of Pakistan years before anyone else), as well as Kenya and Zimbabwe. What is it about Australianness that makes them so cautious? Even good old blighty are heading over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh and having conducted an amateur steward's inquiry into this kid scoring 1000 runs, I'm calling bullshit.

[Max Power]

Yeah it's super dodgy. He was playing against a load of kids younger than him, some of which have barely played before. Also seems to be some suggestion it's a publicity stunt to get the young lad some name recognition before he embarks on his first class career.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They bowled the other team out for 31 and then scored 1,463 for 3 declared. Do the words 'we've got enough now' never cross the captain's mind?

The scorecard adds up differently at different points in the innings as well. Not legit in any way.

[Max Power]

Obviously doing a bit early on but flattened out later. Good toss to win by the skipper

[Danny]

Where's good to watch cricket highlights online? Obviously I don't have a sky subscription. By highlights I mean ~1-2 hours per day's play, not those shitty youtube videos with a day's play condensed into 5 minutes of wickets and the occasional boundary.

http://mycrickethighlights.com/england

Give that a go.

[Mr. Malik]

What you're basically saying is that if any women want to work in cricket, they should accept that being leered at and publicly humiliated by Chris Gayle is part of the job.

What if he was gay and the interviewer was a man and he made the same pass? It is unbecoming conduct but I don't see it as inherently sexist.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He isn't gay, and she isn't a man. She's a woman, and he's a creep.

Channel Ten initially tweeted #SMOOTH about the incident, which sums it up. Women are only allowed into sport if their purpose is to be bantered about, sexually, by men, and if any of them complain about it then the response is 'Come on love, it's only a bit of fun'. Brilliant.

[Queenslander]

But what if Jimmy Floyd! What if!

[ItalAussie]

I wonder what the reaction would have been if she immediately shot back with "not if you were the last man on the planet", or something similarly withering.

My personal favorite: "Not even if it would cure cancer."

[Queenslander]

"Im not interested in your stds cheers mate."

[Ian]

A billion in the first innings and we're still trying to lose.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What the Gayle thing really needed was to cut back to Richie Benaud in the box for a six word withering comment.

'Not the smartest man in Hobart. 96 for 4.'

[Davgooner]

Thank fuck for that first innings lead.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Let's say they need 180 in a session (quite optimistic), are they going for it? Everything I know about South African cricket tells me Kallis will respawn and protect his average.

[Blitz]

Amla has decided to resign, mid series. I applaud this decision, however. I've never felt that he was a natural captain, ever since he started captaining on a part time basis for the ODI side. Also, I love his press conference and the way he handled it, what a guy, what a legend.

This will leave AB in charge, of which I'm very exited about, because he's the best cricketer around, and captaincy seems to bring out the best in him in every way.

Coming back to this test, wow. Did not expect it to end with us having the momentum going into the Wanderers test, massive confidence boost. I can't see is losing this series now, a draw at the least. Hopefully we win the next one, so the Centurion test is the decider, where I will 100% go to the stadium, and enjoy the great atmosphere we've had so far in this series. The Barmy Army really is the best travelling supporters of any sport, surely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon we'll cling on, unless any of the first XI get eaten on a bush drive or similar misfortune. 'No, Mr Leopard, please take Woakesy'. We're about as good as we've been for some time.

Or, to put it another way, you'll need Steyn and/or AB to produce some magic to win a match.

[Blitz]

20 wickets does seem quite difficult with Morkel, Rabada, Piedt and Morris, so we really need Steyn to be fit for at least one full test. Philander is out pf the series. And to not expect Root to score a century in one of the remaining tests, would be foolhardy, in fact, there is probably much more to come from your batting line-up.

As a very patriotic supporter, I would be 1) Astonished if we don't win at least one test, 2) At least draw this series. We've still got enough quality and experience to pull this through.

On a slightly unrelated note, Bavuma's century was a truly eye watering moment :happycry:

[Ian]

First things first: I admire Amla for deciding it's not for him/ he's not for the job. How many (relatively, at least) unsuccessful captains in other sports just crack on until they're shoved because quitting would be seen as cowardice rather than wondering what is best for the team? Fair play.

Secondly, Willis is just the best. I don't have enough knowledge to know the reasons for Amla's woes but Bob just says "He wasn't a good captain." And speaks in enough depth about things that yo know he's not just being a twat. My favourite pundit. So good.

EDIT: Charles Coville is good as well. He knows his pundits well enough to have a laugh but will press them for answers if they're not forthcoming. Basically the Verdict, just ahead of MNF when Nev was there, is my favourite sport show.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Amla is obviously a gent. I read earlier that stressed players go and sit next to him for his calm aura, as if he's like a walking Lourdes.

South Africa are on the verge of becoming quite a likeable team actually, although saying that makes me want to cut out my own tongue. Bavuma is probably my favourite. Proper livewire in the field, and took on our big bad bullies like a boss. Finn and Broad are both over a foot taller than him for god's sake.

[Ian]

Bob now basically giving Charles a Stare for asking for Botham/Stokes comparisons this early on. But also, quite rightly, not abandoning his previous stance just because Stokes and, even more so, Bairstow, have had good innings.

No idea if I got the commas right there.

[ItalAussie]

I can see South Africa drawing this, but only if England have one proper collapse. The problem there is that England bat so deep at the moment that even if you've got them six or seven down, the wickets won't come easy.

South Africa can score big runs, but they need the bulk of those to come from Amla and De Villiers. So far from impossible, but to leverage that into a test win, they need a few things to go their way.

[Ian]

We sort of have to bat deep though because our top four still look prone to a mega-wobble.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can see us going with this bat deep plan for a while to be honest, which in theory should be good news for the likes of Hales as it gives him licence. Longer term I could see an issue with taking 20 wickets in certain places once Broad and Anderson are done, but by then Sam Curran will be ready so it won't really matter which other 10 we pick.

[ItalAussie]

Peter Nevill just got run out in the T20 for Melbourne against Sydney in easily the most bizarre dismissal I've ever seen.

Bravo hit it back down the pitch.
The ball hit Nevill's bat
It cannons directly into the face of the bowler (Zampa)
And then subsequently rebounds into the stumps, with Nevill out of his crease

After medical treatment, Zampa came back and got another wicket in the over. :D


EDIT: Cricinfo description:

Zampa to Bravo, OUT, what's happened there now? Zampa's been struck in the face. And I think Nevill's run out! Bravo stepped out of his crease and hit the ball towards the non-striker, Nevill was standing a long way out of his crease with his bat hanging out to his left. The ball crashed into the bat and ricocheted into the face of Zampa, who was reacting to try and field it. The ball then ricocheted off Zampa's face and hit the stumps, with Nevill well short. What a bizarre dismissal. Nevill checks on Zampa, who is bleeding from the nose, before walking off. The doctor runs on to the field to help Zampa out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just saw that. Good old Zamps.

That Stars team looks properly wank, apart from KP and the inexplicably tournament-dominating Luke Wright. 'He's batting with his Stoinis hanging out'

Delayed start to the second innings because they're waiting for smoke to clear from the pitch, how Big Bash is that?

[hfswjyr]

That must have been fucking painful. Surprised it didn't cause more damage actually.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://i.imgur.com/W8DfoP9.png

:drool:

[Danny]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkA-gwiywvw

Saw it this morning

[Jimmy Floyd]

George Bailey has made India seethe by not walking when he nicked off first ball, then scoring a hundred, and then saying in the post match interview 'Well it would have been interesting to review that, but we're not the team that doesn't want DRS'.

Might build a shrine to him.

[Max Power]

He's bantered off Warne in the past as well hasn't he? Seems a good lad.

[Byron]

George Bailey has made India seethe by not walking when he nicked off first ball, then scoring a hundred, and then saying in the post match interview 'Well it would have been interesting to review that, but we're not the team that doesn't want DRS'.

Might build a shrine to him.

:cool: x fuck knows how much.

[Ian]

George Bailey has made India seethe by not walking when he nicked off first ball, then scoring a hundred, and then saying in the post match interview 'Well it would have been interesting to review that, but we're not the team that doesn't want DRS'.

Might build a shrine to him.

What a man.

[ItalAussie]

That was actually a fantastic run chase to watch. They ran down 310 easily, mostly with ones and twos. I really enjoyed seeing batsmen ticking the score over and rotating the strike, which is on its way to becoming a lost art. They went for the big shots when they were available, but there was no intention or necessity to hit boundaries when there were easy singles on offer. Really sensible innings from both Bailey and Smith.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Here it comes, Episode Three (Revenge of the Sith). Said Sith have responded to Dane Piedt threatening to win them the last match by dropping him from their squad, and they will go in with a four man seam attack, failing it seems to recognise that dirty non-turning off breaks are by far the most potent weapon any side can have against England.

I think they'll punt for this:

de Kock
Elgar
Amla
de Villiers (who has spent the build-up mouthing off about how 'the ICC' need to rein in the amount of international cricket because he is too tired, ignoring the fact that it's his own board which schedules his series and he is free to drop out of any he wishes, because he's the best player there and he can, not a luxury available to most pros. In summary, this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYgJAN1Ol5g).)
du Plessis
Bavuma
Duminy (he's back, cos he's black. And he scored 260* the other day)
Morris
Rabada
Viljoen
Morkel

England meanwhile will be unchanged unless Hales has done himself in, in which case fuck only knows. Presumably Compton would go up to open and Gallance would arrive at three, but that sounds ghastly to me.

I think they've been trying too hard to set up conditions in their favour, so we'll win.

[John Arne]

Shambles...



After Dale Steyn was ruled out yesterday, Quentin de Kock has been ruled out this morning after falling awkwardly and injuring his knee at home last night. His replacement is fellow wicketkeeper Dane Vilas, who is currently catching a flight from Port Elizabeth. He’ll be late for the start and de Villiers will start behind the stumps if South Africa bowl first.


Don't forget your subs, Dane.

[Blitz]

I'd be happy with that. Keeping and opening might be tricky, is there any other players in domestic/international cricket who does that in first class/test cricket?

I'm undecided on whether or not Piedt should've been picked. Maybe 4 quicks is a bit over kill, none of them seem too different from each other. On the other hand, I don't think Piedt is good enough to put pressure on the batsmen when he eventually comes on after about 16 overs. And Morris, Viljoen and Rabada have all been bowling really well at Wanderers.

Than ABDV statement he made scares the shit out of me. The ICC needs to come up with a way where there is not such a big wage difference between the different nations. But they won't, because of The Big Three will only look after themselves, and Test cricket might lose one of the best players in recent memory. CSA also needs to grow some balls however. With the talent roaming around in the country, there's no way we should be bending over to the so called "bigger nations". I know it's about money, but they really should do better. I'll write a bit about that later. First, I need a shower, breakfast, and then I'm nailed to the telly until the day is done.

It'll be my days purpose to get a comment published on cricinfo, any of you ever managed it?

[niko_cee]

This'll be all over in about 3 days by the looks of the pitch (if it isn't abandoned before lunch Sabina Park style).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Injuring his knee at home? That's the sort of bollocks that hung over players try on me.

This is clearly doctored to fuck, though I'm not sure why as we have the superior attack. England to win. Pitch shenanigans always backfire.

[Max Power]

Pitch is playing fine. England bowling too short. Need Woakesy and his probing line and length and nice face

[Jimmy Floyd]

I see they have failed to fulfil their own quota as well. Clearly the inability to drop Stiaan van Zyl is stronger than the forces of transformation.

[Blitz]

So Gulam Bodi is the fucker involved in the match fixing in the Ram Slam. What a dick.

Decent start for us, and for the love of God, please get Stephen Cook into the side!! I like van Zyl, but he's not an opener. He got out on a nothing shot, the type no opener would ever play.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We seem to have worked our way back into this. Woakesy baby assisting the run out, you just can't keep him out of the game.

[John Arne]

Saffers really relying on this Still Tobat to make an impact here.

[Max Power]

Don't really know why Finn isn't starting off this morning

[Max Power]

Ha what do I know? Two quick wickets

[Max Power]

The Ginger Akmal

[John Arne]

Jimmy sent off :D

[John Arne]

Haha! Stokes get the wicket with the first ball completing Anderson's over.

[Max Power]

1-11 all in double figures yet nobody reached 50

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan quietly rocking up in New Zealand with Amir and winning the first T20. The scenes if they threaten in the tournament.

Cook hundred here would be useful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Getting caught down the leg side is such a budget way to get out. It's not 'unlucky'.

[Max Power]

Cook does seem to be out in that fashion more than most players

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can see Rabada going straight through us after lunch, the guy is god tier.

[Max Power]

Root looks in fine nick (when doesn't he?).

Could do with him converting today, has made a bit of a recent habit of getting 50 or 60 and getting out despite batting like a lord

[Jimmy Floyd]

Usually out cutting a straight one to the keeper.

I hate to jinx him but this ground is very Stokes-friendly.

[Max Power]

It should be but Stokes is also the type of player who will bag a pair straight after a 260. If he gets going quickly it might be special

[Mellberg]

We're opener and someone who can bat at three away from being the real deal. Top order constantly go on the cheap. Anyone knocking about at County level, or are we stuck with Hales and Compton?

[Max Power]

Compdogg has done alright for me. Hales is a bit of an issue but he deserves the series at least.

[Max Power]

Stokes is away. Watch out

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are lots of people you could try at county level but nobody smashing the door down. Hales/Compton as good as it gets at the moment probably.

Sam Hain one to watch for that number three berth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck it, I'm deploying the smileys.

:drool: :drool: :drool:

[Max Power]

Could have done without the break. Smashing the cunts everywhere

[Jimmy Floyd]

This sounds like full porn from Root.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This SA match fixing story sounds fun. My guess for the 'two Test players' involved is Imran Tahir and Thami Tsolekile. Sorry, guys, if you're innocent.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE__8ZaYvsI

I'm debating whether or not it's the best thing I've ever seen.

[Max Power]

Hit hair loss for six FFS. There's a special extended version of the Warney/Vaughany advert that runs late late at night. It's about 45 minutes long I think, or maybe it was just a fever dream.

This Test could turn out to be a classic. Bit of magic from Bairstow here and a lead of 50+ could tip the balance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Much depends on our bowling second time round. When we won here 11 years ago there was a magical spell from Harmison or Hoggard which would do it for us, need similar from somebody, perhaps Finn.

Think we could chase 250, wouldn't want it to be much more than that.

[Max Power]

Yeah I see Finn being the one to break this open. Cook has to get him in early if it isn't happening though. If Anderson isn't threatening then hook him after 3 overs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Think it's in Broad and Anderson's central contracts that they have to take the new ball, especially in a 5 over up-and-at-em session just before lunch.

[Byron]

ENFORCE that.

[Max Power]

Is Broad on one of those rolls he gets on? Hope so.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is the big hour now, if we can get one of these two with a marauding Finn coming into the attack we're right on top.

[Samadini]

:swing:

[Max Power]

Oh yes he's on a roll alright the brilliant, brilliant twat :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

He fucking is on one isn't he.

I love this England team.

[Samadini]

Going to head to a Waitrose later and claim my free cup of tea. I've been inspired here.

[Max Power]

If Amla's out in this session the series is won imo

[Max Power]

haha what

[Samadini]

My god

[Jimmy Floyd]

Erm...

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is the big hour now, if we can get one of these two with a marauding Finn coming into the attack we're right on top.

Both gone in 17 minutes and Finn having a cigar at fine leg.

[Mellberg]

More runs from the top order and this could turn into the greatest England side I've seen, whatever the result here. Need one of Hales or Compton (or both) to click. Any of these kids you've mentioned coming through openers, Jim?

Low scoring test cricket might just be more enjoyable than football for me, although five years of Villa and England does that to a man.

[Samadini]

This is a joke

[Max Power]

Temba...


https://twitter.com/i/videos/684393851721781248?embed_source=facebook

https://twitter.com/i/videos/684393851721781248?embed_source=facebook

[Jimmy Floyd]

Alex Lees for the opener spot longer term. Risks it becoming a Yorkshire circle jerk but oh well.

When people start getting out in the fashion Bavuma just has you know the series is won.

[Davgooner]

I went for a massive shit and missed four wickets.

[Max Power]

Outrageous grab.

Should have got Finn on sooner Cook ffs :eyemouth:

[Samadini]

Heroic

[Samadini]

Hope Dave had the foresight to go for a piss the same time he went for his shit.

[Max Power]

Graeme Smith sounds devastated and I LOVE IT

[Jimmy Floyd]

Graeme Smith sounds devastated and I LOVE IT

By far the best thing about both this and the Durban win.

[John Arne]

No wickets since I've tuned in. Wankers.

[John Arne]

That's better.

[niko_cee]

How nervy are we going to make this then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Root's 110 looking one of the best for many years.

[Max Power]

Absolute genius. It ticks all the boxes for 'great innings'.

1. It was the highest individual score by a distance,
2. It was made on a lively pitch
3. Team were in a dicey situation two down early after the opponent made 315
4. Changed the momentum of the game with it's speed and positivity
5. Bloody stylish as well, shots all round the wicket played beautifully.

I guess maybe it's not a vintage South African attack but they're no mugs. Rabada and Morkel have bowled very well this match.

[Ian]

When Broad is on it he's a monster, isn't he?

[Max Power]

The monster spells seem to be coming a bit more frequently now, which is good. And when he's not running through teams he's miserly. Proper quality bowler now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now Mitchell J has fucked off and Steyn seems to be falling to bits, he's the best in the world, probably by quite a long way actually.

[niko_cee]

I'm not really sure what the point of Hales ending this 9* is going to be.

[niko_cee]

:D

What a way to get out.

[Davgooner]

Fuck sake. Might not get this done today with Compton in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I make his average after 3 Tests to be 13.17. Still has another four Tests to haul himself above Lyth's heroic 20.38.

[Max Power]

Sam Robson 30.54 which surprised me.

[niko_cee]

Should have opened with Elgar.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was being hard on Hales, 20.00. Maths fail.

[Danny]

Fuck sake. Might not get this done today with Compton in.

As you wish

[niko_cee]

This is fairly shambolic stuff now.

[Ian]

I've only just switched on because I was out but from what I heard of Hales' innings today and what I've seen he just doesn't look comfortable.

[John Arne]

Roots average to take a hit here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've only just switched on because I was out but from what I heard of Hales' innings today and what I've seen he just doesn't look comfortable.

This one was an irrelevant knock, but no he doesn't. Gets the Sri Lanka series though unless someone is battering the door down by then. Lots of white ball to go under the bridge before then too.

[Ian]

I was hoping that that'd make that innings there an easier one for him and he'd see it through with a 30 or 40.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To me he looks like he basically can't deal with any sort of probing line and length bowling, which is a bit of a worry. Somewhat like an Indian batsman.

[niko_cee]

He looks a bit like Buttler and Stokes did when they were having trouble in recent times. Not wanting to give it away, but not really being able to play the shut-up-shop game, and thus just looking shit for a while before getting out meekly.

[Max Power]

Should just play his natural game. Good opportunity in a dead rubber to just go for it.

[Blitz]

Now Mitchell J has fucked off and Steyn seems to be falling to bits, he's the best in the world, probably by quite a long way actually.

I don't want to live in a world where Stuart Fucking Broad is the best bowler in the world.

[Blitz]

And this is what happens when you don't play real test cricket for a year and a half. Our last proper one was mid 2014 vs Sri Lanka. Fuck that India tour, the cunts.

We were horse shit in the second innings. We got ourselves out for 3 out of the 5 that Broad took. I wish I could be in that dressing room to hear whats being said.

The rebuilding will take fucking long, because of our awesome selection policies in domestic cricket. I'm highly pessimistic currently, mostly alcohol induced, but a fair amount of reason though.

[ItalAussie]

Now Mitchell J has fucked off and Steyn seems to be falling to bits, he's the best in the world, probably by quite a long way actually.
Best in the world outside of a fit Steyn is Trent Boult. Underrated because he plays for New Zealand.

Or if we're including spin bowlers, and it pains me to say this, it's Ashwin.

[ItalAussie]

Hey, we got Rohit out for under a hundred.

Nailed on century for Kohli now. :moop:


EDIT: Can't we just save everyone some time, give them 309 runs, and then knock it off for three wickets down in the 49th over?

EDIT II: Why are we even having this pointless series of ODI matches?

[Mellberg]

It's not in an Aussies genes, no matter how level headed the individual, to give Stuart Broad any credit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Didn't you just watch Trent Boult take his wickets at 38s in Australia and get bunted for 4.25 an over? He's nice but best in the world, no chance.

Wahab Riaz is pretty beastly if we're looking for a contender.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And this is what happens when you don't play real test cricket for a year and a half. Our last proper one was mid 2014 vs Sri Lanka. Fuck that India tour, the cunts.

We were horse shit in the second innings. We got ourselves out for 3 out of the 5 that Broad took. I wish I could be in that dressing room to hear whats being said.

The rebuilding will take fucking long, because of our awesome selection policies in domestic cricket. I'm highly pessimistic currently, mostly alcohol induced, but a fair amount of reason though.

Here's a list of batsmen in the world with the most first class hundreds without a Test cap:

42 - Ed Joyce (plays for a non-Test country)
35 - Stephen Cook, James Hildreth
29 - Darren Stevens

What exactly was he having to do all this time? Rilee Roussouw also has 18 at the age of mid-20s.

[niko_cee]

Ravi Jadeja is 6 in the test bowling rankings. That's end of days stuff. Do we get to roast India on a bunch of GREENTOPS [read: have Moeen run through them] again this summer?

Ah no, the other two subcontinentals. Put the grass seed away.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sri Lanka for 3 Tests, Pakistan for 4 and then visit India. World T20 first though, which we're going to win.

Watch us demolish the Under 19 World Cup as well in a couple of weeks. Seriously rate our team.

[ItalAussie]

Didn't you just watch Trent Boult take his wickets at 38s in Australia and get bunted for 4.25 an over? He's nice but best in the world, no chance.

Wahab Riaz is pretty beastly if we're looking for a contender.

There's no shame in failing in Australia.

Riaz is talented, and certainly the scariest bowler in full flow now that Johnson has retired. I'll want to see him demolish some batting lineups before I'd put him on top though, the way that we've seen Johnson, Broad and Steyn have done in the past.

[ItalAussie]

Nailed on century for Kohli now. :moop:

EDIT: Can't we just save everyone some time, give them 309 runs, and then knock it off for three wickets down in the 49th over?
Off by 14 runs and four wickets. Kohli got the hundred, and we pulled it off on the second-last ball of the 49th over.

Prognostication.

[niko_cee]

Australia are just taking the piss in that series, by the looks of it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Australian pitches are bordering on 'doesn't count' status these days. Flat, flat, flat and worse, all the same. Look at the difference in their batting from England 2015 to now.

[ItalAussie]

I'm not happy about Australian pitches at the moment. The drop-ins are flat and lack character.

But let's not pretend that England is the baseline for pitch condition, either. Currently you're the exception rather than the rule.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ours aren't even that great. Much slower and lower than the glory days of the 80s and 90s when we used to roll out lively hard ones for the West Indies quicks to brain our batsmen on. The Australian ones this winter have not given the bowlers a sniff though, it's just smash as many runs as you can and then try to avoid needlessly collapsing to Nathan Lyon.

The one we just played on at the Wanderers was the best I've seen for years. If a fit and firing Steyn had played it could have been one of the greatest ever Test matches. I love the WACA as well (RIP).

[ItalAussie]

I totally agree with you, including your sentiment about the WACA. Every Australian over a certain age has special/horrifying memories of the West Indies blowing us away there every four years. Curtley Ambrose taking 7-1 in 1993. :drool:

I will also say that I have no problem with rank turning dustbowls, as long as they're generated by the conditions. It's just important that the pitch does something beyond being a flat mess.



EDIT: Of course, the Gabba is the best cricket pitch in the world. Natch.

[ItalAussie]

Kind of a random point, but I've been reading a bit about Glenn Maxwell lately, and he seems like a really genuinely nice person. The disconnect between his grounded and quiet personality and his larger-than-life playing style ("Big Show" is a nickname that he doesn't enjoy at all :D ) is really curious to see.

He's moderating his style a bit so that he can play longer innings when the team needs it, like in the chase last night when he clicked along at a run a ball until the last over or two.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is a total geezer. Never provides anything other than pure entertainment, no matter whether he does well or badly.

[Danny]

He's the best bowler in the world

http://www.relianceiccrankings.com/ranking/test/bowling/

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's also the third best all rounder, three places above Stokes.

[ItalAussie]

He is a total geezer. Never provides anything other than pure entertainment, no matter whether he does well or badly.

Which is funny, because I've never seen him crack even the hint of a smile on the cricket pitch. He's 100% grim concentration, 100% of the time.

Exhibits A - F:


http://cricketlovers.projectlte.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/glenn-maxwell-australia_3261907.jpg
If we believe in nothing, if nothing has any meaning and if we can affirm no values whatsoever, then everything is possible and nothing has any importance

http://brightcove04.o.brightcove.com/3910869736001/3910869736001_4099420034001_Glenn-Maxwell--102-vs-Sri-Lanka-1.jpg?pubId=3910869736001
There is no other world. Nor even this one. What, then, is there? The inner smile provoked in us by the patent nonexistence of both.

http://s.ndtvimg.com/images/content/2015/mar/806/glenn-maxwell-100-v-sri-lanka-sydney.jpg
Ubi nihil vales, ibi nihil velis: where you are worth nothing, there you should want nothing

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6289436-3x2-700x467.jpg
That is why it has been repeatedly noticed that the human life is a theatre where the mask show takes place, and we are merely the actors of that show, having entirely identified ourselves with the masks and fooling not only others, but first of all ourselves

http://cache3.asset-cache.net/gc/465563670-glenn-maxwell-of-australia-ceelbrates-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=GkZZ8bf5zL1ZiijUmxa7QfmJeLnLyNRjv60jvFojDP%2B2lS EJgGA5r0cSb4IX9RamuZHw3tZo5s7oPcOTmM%2FwVA%3D%3D
Certainty is not to be had. But as we learn this we become not more moral but more resigned. We become nihilists.

http://www.thenational.ae/storyimage/AB/20160117/ARTICLE/160119181/AR/0/%26NCS_modified%3D20160117144737%26MaxW%3D640%26im ageVersion%3Ddefault%26AR-160119181.jpg
This is what our essential being-in-the-world is – nihilistic annihilation.


This is not a carefully curated collection, either. It's literally the first six pictures I could find of him "celebrating" a milestone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.maxwellball.net/play.html

I should have thought that will be up your street. I spent about an hour of office time completing it a few months back.

[Baz]

Someone told me about Pranav Dhanawade yesterday. What a lad. :cool:

[ItalAussie]

http://www.maxwellball.net/play.html

I should have thought that will be up your street. I spent about an hour of office time completing it a few months back.

I can't believe someone actually made this. It's fantastic. :D

EDIT: I laughed out loud when I figured out how to get the complementary tickets. WWGMD.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I worked that out fairly quickly but it took me fully 45 minutes to get past the autograph hunting kid.

In other news, the new IPL team to replace the banned CSK is called the 'Rising Pune Supergiants'. This is not a drill.

[Ian]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/awards2015/content/story/954785.html
http://www.espncricinfo.com/awards2015/content/current/story/954787.html

[Jimmy Floyd]

Any bowling shortlist with Jadeja on it should be null and void.

Rangy Herath and Wahab Riaz for me from that list, what heroes. I'll have Holder's hundred as well.

[ItalAussie]

For batting, it's Williamson or Chandimal.

Broad with the ball.

[niko_cee]

Just finished that Maxwell thing.

:D

Took me forever to get past the kid in the queue. The way to impress the ticket seller is immense.