The Cricket Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

In other news, the ODI roadshow moves on to the Wanderers today, and I reckon whoever bats first has a legitimate shot at 500.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fucking Tahir's celebrations are making me really, really seethe. What an awful person he is.

[Davgooner]

500 is off lads.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I dunno. Woakes and Broad are still to bat.

[Davgooner]

Broad's back? Declare.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Right, Moeen's in, only now does the game really start.

We've been really strange in this innings, none of the usual intent at all. Partly good bowling but also I think the pitch is way slower than they were saying it was going to be.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Woakes in and 25 overs to bat. Anything could happen.

[ItalAussie]

de Kock has twice as many hundreds as he does fifties (10-5) and scored his first fifty after his fifth hundred.

He's the very definition of all-or-nothing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is a great player on song but also, and I really do hesitate to say this, a flat track bully. There's no plan B at all.

Root is so fucking good. One of the luckiest players I've ever seen, which basically means good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've just watched Chris 'Woakesy' Woakes absolutely demolish the stumps of Francois 'Faf' du Plessis. Cricket has peaked.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's now just run out a marauding AB de Villiers with an absolutely world class piece of athleticism off his own bowling. I'm not even joking.

http://www.cricket.com.au/~/media/Players/Men/International/England/chris-woakes-eng.ashx

[Max Power]

To be fair to Vanilla man Woakes he is a pretty decent ODI option, just never in Tests.

Look at that haircut in the photo. Do you reckon the ECB barbers at Loughborough crafted that for him?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Contrast that with this teenage picture in which I'm getting Mo Mowlam. Look what Loughborough can do for a man.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/staticarchive/bb717e1af7b3747c020ca8cc59203b219ee31624.jpg

[hfswjyr]

Can't believe England are losing this from where they were.

This bowling is turgid from Woakes and Broad.

Bowl at the stumps you idiot.

[Ian]

This all started going horribly wrong the moment I turned on.

Sorry lads. :(

[Mellberg]

Rashid's dropped catch has cost us. Morris sensed the moment and took the piss after that.

[hfswjyr]

Rashid was stone cold there. His (lack of) expression after he took that wicket was priceless.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I say this in the nicest possible way as I love them, but Pakistani blokes in the field are all the fucking same. Bet he turned up a minute before the start time as well.

Broad was dire. We just can't hit lengths at the death.

[Ian]

Even during the bit of the game I saw where it briefly had EXCITING FINISH written all over it I just can't bring myself to give much of a shit about limited overs cricket.

[niko_cee]

That stinker from Illingworth has broken cricket. Fucking lol at New Zealand though. Such a rabble against Australia.

[Ian]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/35568386

Huh.

[niko_cee]

Well exactly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fucking hell, the umpiring in this series has been a genuine disgrace. Root's successfully overturned about three. That one just then was properly amateur hour.

de Kock is absolutely appalling at knowing if things are out too.

South African fans have outed themselves as an utter joke via the cricinfo comments this winter as well. They all reckon Root is crap.

[Max Power]

Chris Morris just turned around to walk back to his mark and practically had a double take when he saw the umpires finger! Shocker.

Root being dropped means another hundred

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon Root gets dropped more than any other player. I have no figures to back that up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus, didn't notice India are threatening to bottle the U19 final against the West Indies. Would be so lol if they did.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And again, this is absolutely stone dead and given not out. Bizarre umpiring.

[Jimmy Floyd]

West Indies have won the u19 World Cup. Unbelievable scenes.

[Davgooner]

Cheating cunts.

[Ian]

Looks like we're donning things as usual.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hales should be given a free go on all their wives after this shambles. It's Valentine's Day, after all.

[Samadini]

Faf :harold:

We'll probably drop Amla twice as he goes on to score 130.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sorry to lower the tone, but: http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/feb/15/im-saying-we-started-from-aliens-shane-warne-casts-doubt-on-evolution


Former Australian cricketer Shane Warne has cast doubt on the theory of evolution, observing that if all humans really did evolve from monkeys, “then why haven’t those ones [monkeys today] evolved?”

I don't know what to say, really. 'Has cast doubt on the the theory of evolution'

[hfswjyr]

He also said something about aliens and this was all while he was on some reality TV programme, so I wouldn't exactly take it seriously.

No comment on that first test. Let's hope for a more competitive match coming up.

[ItalAussie]

I reckon Warne's reeling from the public response he had when he went after Steve Waugh. He'd overestimated his popularity somewhat, because the general response was "Steve Waugh's a hero, he was right to drop you against the West Indies, it was a real captain's move handled in a classy fashion, and the fact that you can't see that means that you'd have been a terrible captain".

Steve Waugh. What a man.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We just needed to defend 14 off 5 against Morris and Abbott and meffed it up in spectacular fashion. World T20 champions.

Jordan was excellent actually. Topley cunted it in comical fashion.

[hfswjyr]

Destroyed by Chris Morris again?

Bring on the test match.

[hfswjyr]

Williamson is 3 off 44, and McCullum comes in trying to hit a 200+ strike-rate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That over/this whole session is one of the best things I've ever seen. The commentator before the 5th ball: 'You've got 14 from the over, don't do anything silly like run down the wicket.'

*runs down the wicket and smokes it over extra cover for six*

[Jimmy Floyd]

Currently it's Williamson 3 (54), McCullum 32 (13). Williamson's three is the hardest earned three you have ever seen as well. Probably weathered 20 unplayable deliveries.

[hfswjyr]

All out for sub-200 I think. Can't see us surviving this wicket with the way we play.

[Max Power]

22.5 Marsh to McCullum, SIX, this is straight from the World Cup 2015 book. Dances down the wicket, turns a length ball into a half-volley and drives this through extra cover for a six
22.4 Marsh to McCullum, FOUR, full, outside off, and he leans into it to drive this through extra cover. Another lovely shot. What a good start to his final Test
22.3 Marsh to McCullum, FOUR, that's a lovely shot. It is only inches short of a length, and McCullum goes deep into the crease to back-cut this between gully and point. This isn't even wide. He has to arch back a little to make room
22.2 Marsh to McCullum, no run, angling in, pushed to short midwicket
22.1 Marsh to McCullum, SIX, and BMac now holds the record for sixes on his own. He breaks free of the tie with Gilchrist. A length ball, a reasonably decent ball, but he has stood tall and lofted this back over the bowler's head

haha what?

Love Brendon

[Jimmy Floyd]

McCullum out to one of the best catches of all time, and it's a no ball. LOL

[Danny]

I was going to be pissed. I just managed to get the game on and he was 'out' about 10 seconds later

[hfswjyr]

Cricinfo: That's cruel. The crowd chants "no-ball, no-ball" behind Pattinson as he goes to field at the fence. Bird comes back

Classic Kiwi crowd.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I couldn't go to bed if I tried here. McCullum and Anderson are going after the boundary literally every ball and succeeding more often than not.

[Danny]

92 off 52. 8 runs 3 balls.

edit: 96 off 53

[Danny]

And done off 54. BMac :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Never seen anything like this. That no ball catch was on 39 and I posted that 28 minutes before he got to his ton.

[hfswjyr]

Special.

[hfswjyr]

Never seen this field before. You can't keep Warner there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://i.imgur.com/leKsaDs.png

I mean, what the fuck is that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Never seen this field before. You can't keep Warner there.

Smith is absolutely clueless once you get on top of him. Has none of the ability to seize a game that Clarke had. With Smith it's complete feast or famine.

[Pleb]

Lol at that 145 from McCullum though.

Must of been one epic bowling meltdown.

[Ian]

Unless they're obviously catastrophically lol fields are one thing that are still quite a mystery to me when watching cricket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been captain of a side for five years and they're still a bit of a mystery to me to be honest. My two basic rules are if someone's obviously going to hit a boundary somewhere, put a man out there, and the number of close catchers you have should generally correlate with how nervy the batsman looks.

You can set a 'funky field' for a 'bowling plan' but then you're verging right into the territory of being a knobhead and it should only be tried if the score is about 400 for 2 (or a situation of equivalent hopelessness, as Smith demonstrated last night).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Next T20 about to start. We've brought in Billings for Willey, which is a bit silly really.

National anthems at cricket are so shit.

[Max Power]

This will be the side for the World T20 I think. Two and a half spin options. Potential to put Moeen up to open for Roy and bring in another bowler as well

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fancy Roy to go ballistic today. Cue 0 (1).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our tendency to throw wickets away with recklessness (not positivity) is becoming quite annoying.

[Davgooner]

Jesus. Morgan almost seemed to pull out of that and it's gone well into the crowd.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It flaahs on the haah veld.

[Max Power]

Eventful three balls for Stokes. Bit unlucky really.

I'm ready for some Billings action

[Max Power]

What a bizarre last 20 minutes this has been :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wasn't particularly bad from us. Extreme South African luck for pretty much all the wickets.

For it to even itself out in the second innings I think de Villiers will have to be hit by a meteorite.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surrey have poached Australia's batting coach to be our head coach. Exceptional work.

[Queenslander]

Yep we are still cunts.

[hfswjyr]

Doesn't that kind of behaviour happen every 2 minutes on a football field? Higher standards etc. I suppose.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Football is a sport by cunts for cunts, though. You can't go around abusing people, let alone those who are officiating the match. And if you're going to abuse the umpire, at least be right.

That said, if you were writing a cricket film/novel and wanted to include a clueless umpire character, there's a very good chance 'Ranmore Martinesz' would be the name you'd come up with.

[Ian]

Saw a slightly weird Steve Smith shot this morning on SSN. Like an overheard smash that twatted into the wicket and then ran off for a boundary. Not sure I've seen anything like it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/feb/25/icc-test-cricket-two-divisions-shake-up?CMP=twt_gu

If that happened it would be the best thing to happen to cricket possibly ever. I wonder how India will bosh it.

[Ian]

Yeah, that sounds like it'd be too good to happen without being tweaked to suit the big three.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are a few flaws in the plan, such as how you force India and Pakistan to play each other, but it's glorious otherwise. Imagine an Irish home Test against the Bangla Bus or Zimbabwe with the result meaning something, for example.

This in a week when cricket has treated us to the following stories:

- David Warner claims the New Zealand crowd 'went too far' with their sledging
- Indian organisers state they are not bothered whether any visiting fans come to the World T20
- Oman performed this Mankad (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J67BXBHJa9A) on Hong Kong
- Aaron Phangiso censured first for imitating snorting cocaine in the dugout, and then for a suspect bowling action
- Joe Root and Stuart Broad caught in a passionate gay romp in London park

Only one of those is made up.

[Max Power]

Whats the latest on the World T20 re. Pakistan? Are they still saying they can't play at certain venues? Are they even going?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The government have (unsurprisingly) agreed to let them go. They cannot play in Bombay, however, so their game will need moving if they get into a certain semi-final. Also, nobody knows if Delhi is going to actually host its games or not.

[Max Power]

Hope they win the fucker. Afridi is weighing up coming out of retirement :harold:, unconfirmed reports that Wasim Akram fancies a go as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't see why he would carry on, after this there isn't another meaningful international T20 for four years, by which time he will be (reaches for calculator), erm...

[Max Power]

Got to keep playing in case the shampoo ad money dries up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just found this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFnWjmlo0R8) video of his debut hundred off 37 balls against Sri Lanka as I don't think I've ever seen it before. Once I'd got over the shock of the Paul Allott/Ravi Shastri commentary team, I fast forwarded to the bit where he comes in, only to find this:

http://i.imgur.com/lVE1kI7.png

20 years on we have this article from today:

http://i.imgur.com/MjcWCMA.png

Those 'elders' are probably about 43.

[Max Power]

Finally got around to watching the documentary film Death Of A Gentleman. It's very good. Provides a decent overview of the whole ICC carve up but also some nice human touches with Ed Cowan. Definitely worth checking out if you can.

One problem is the character of 'Giles Clarke'. Felt he was a bit too unrealistic. No real person is that slimy and unpleasant, it all felt a bit cartoony. Nevermind.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still need to see that.

So Pakistan are playing India and in classic fashion were bowled out for 83. Then... :uhoh:

http://i.imgur.com/dLeay7V.png

[Mr. Malik]

He's got another :drool:

T20 would be so much better with no over quotas. If Amir could bowl 10 on the trot from his end they'd win for sure.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just watched Rabada turn Aaron Finch's stumps into firewood with a middle stump yorker in the first over. I could watch the kid bowl all day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And now he's taken a ridiculous one handed catch. He might be some sort of deity.

[Max Power]

That boy Rabada :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

First time I've seen them choke a game exclusively in the field. Behardien is a disgrace.

[Max Power]

poor fielding in that last over really. Great finish though

[niko_cee]

Impressive bottle job from the Saffas. Those no-balls and wides towards the end were a disgrace. Not that in the day of the heavily armoured walking bat that a waist height delivery should be getting pinged for a free hit. Morris missing that run out was particularly funny. I hope they don't lose by one . . .

I also think it's reaching the point where backing up out of your ground should be grounds for one shorting batsmen. You can't steal 2 yards at the other end when you're coming back for two, why allow the 2 yard head start? It's either that of wholesale mankading, which is less palatable. Get the man in the tv booth watching the line for that and front foot no balls.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Watch out for Oman at the World T20. Apparently they are atttempting mankads (not always successfully) in most games.

[Davgooner]

Those no-balls and wides towards the end were a disgrace. .

Yep. Most of those no-balls were last balls of otherwise decent overs as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hong Kong win the toss and bowl in the World T20 opener. I love this shit.

[Max Power]

Kind of ridiculous that Bangladesh have to pre qualify for this tournament. They've been good in the past 18 months/2 years and it's in familiar conditions. Harsh on them, doubt it will have much of an effect on them I suppose, just a glorified warm up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Zimbob beat Hong Kong, although not by a massive amount. Madghanistan up next against Preston Mommsen's Porridge Army.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The haggis collective right in the hunt here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Agonising failure awaits.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not even that agonising in the end. Meanwhile: http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc-world-twenty20-2016/content/story/979671.html

We need to wheel Prince Philip out for some gags.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Holland v Bangladesh this morning. All aboard the Bangla Bus, although they've lost the toss and made a fairly quiet start.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bangla Bus now teetering on the edge of a cliff, but Shakibul Caine has had a good idea.

[Max Power]

Oman only need 155 against Ireland. One Omani took an unreal catch in the few minutes I watched earlier.

[Max Power]

Going well here. Boyd Rankin getting a pasting

[igor_balis]

Oman openers looking comfortable, but I have no idea what the rest of the batting is like.

[Max Power]

Love these guys. Me and Athar Ali Khan are marking out.

Forza Oman!

[igor_balis]

Khawar Ali nearly smashed the Ireland bowler when he was swinging his bat in frustration after getting out. Brilliant.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Me and Athar Ali Khan' would be a good memoir title, except mine would be 'Pommie and Me'.

Ireland are garb in this format. All completely orthodox.

[Max Power]

Trouble now. Kevin O Brien the destroyer with the ball :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Has Dockrell not made the XI? That's a first.

Fancy the second round of this could be rained off on Friday, which favours whoever wins this.

[igor_balis]

Oman openers looking comfortable, but I have no idea what the rest of the batting is like.

shite

[Max Power]

Yeah Maqsood looks their best batsman by a mile. Maybe this fat lad can find the boundary a few more times

[igor_balis]

:drool:

[Max Power]

Fat lad :cool:

[Max Power]

Gary Wilson :cool:

[Magic]

I think cricket is for queers but that catch by Maqsood was donnage.

[Max Power]

Oh man what a terrible opening delivery to a final over

[Max Power]

Missed it by a mile!

Jesus what a match though

[igor_balis]

Atrocious over from Sorensen. Oman. :cool:

[Max Power]

Hahahaha four byes unreal banter.

Well played Oman, delighted for the lads.

Fucking associates rocking up to major tournaments and providing all the entertainment as usual

[Jimmy Floyd]

What the hell is the problem with 4x4?

Obviously I know the answer to that, but it reminds me of something Mike Selvey said in the graun this morning about how the so called lucrative Indian TV market is actually shifting towards only watching India home matches. I thought this might happen post Sachin.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Scotland need 148 against Paul Ince's men. Can't see it personally.

[igor_balis]

Gonna watch the Scotland innings. According to the ICC tables, Scotland are actually ranked higher as a T20 team. Is that going to be a fair reflection, or is it a bit like the Fifa rankings?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They only play other associates, while Zimbabwe don't seem to play anyone at all.

The whole thing really needs ripping up and starting again. As does this Scotland innings.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ireland bowling first in a 12 over affair against the Bangla Bus, which they need to win to have a chance. Would guess that if they do, the Dutch might stand aside in the last game in the name of associate solidarity.

[igor_balis]

Bangladesh are smashing it.

[igor_balis]

Ireland are fielding like Pakistan at the moment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Really want Afghanistan to win tomorrow, even though I'd also like Zimbabwe to spring a couple of upsets (and play England!).

[igor_balis]

Afghans look like they're gonna set Zimbabwe a pretty good score. They have a decent pace attack as well, don't they?

[Davgooner]

An over to sum up this Afghani side there; three horrendous swings and misses reminiscent of second XI sunday cricket, then 4-4-6 and a rave to the PA music.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are the best value of any cricket team I think I've ever seen. Unless you like cultured strokeplay. 'How shall we professionalise this team so we can compete with the big boys?' *appoints Inzamam-ul-Haq as coach*

Shahzad is an absolute one off. He's always blowing after three overs ffs.

[Max Power]

Jesus what an absolute hosing this is.

Wonder if they'll take a scalp in the tournament proper?

[igor_balis]

State of that fucking run out.

[Davgooner]

Buttler. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Weather dubious to say the least, but watching these Oman highlights I really hope they get a crack at Bangladesh later. They look like absolute heroes. That rotund bloke with glasses :D

[Max Power]

Their star bowler whose name escapes me is a don. Like a cross between Lasith Malinga, Rana Naved and a 55 year old taxi driver.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Munis Ansari. And that is a great description. I was reading the game live on cricinfo at work and imagined him as a youngish medium pace tyro with flowing locks, but no :D

Eight8 match between Holland and Ireland scheduled for 12 noon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ireland with one of the more comedic efforts at chasing 60 in 6 overs here.

This female commentator (Lisa Sthalekar?) is absolutely god awful. Talks entirely in cliches and doesn't seem to have researched a single player, even to the extent of knowing whether they bowl seam or spin.

[igor_balis]

Hoping Oman vs Bangladesh is gonna be a decent game.

[igor_balis]

Terrible fielding from Oman so far.

[igor_balis]

This Soumya Sarkar seems properly shit (though he just hit a decent sweep four). Aside from some comedy fielding, Oman have started really well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tamim has hit form. I quite fancy Bangladesh to spring a few shocks in the next phase. Or win it, actually, I'm on the Bangla Bus at 33/1.

[igor_balis]

I remember the two centuries he got against England in 2010 and thinking he was going to be a superstar. Though as a very casual follower of the sport I'm not entirely sure what he's been up to since then.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck all is the answer. Bangladesh players have a sorry habit of thinking they're better than they are and going to shit. I'm hoping him and a couple of others including the Fizz, who may return to fitness for the main stage, can turn that around.

[igor_balis]

Also, just thinking...any good cricket podcasts/radio shows etc?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Switch Hit (cricinfo) is good for solidly covering the affairs of the day, but as has been mentioned upthread, The Cricket Sadist Hour is next level, featuring Andy Zaltzman of The Bugle fame, and mercurial young Australian penman Jarrod Kimber.

[Ian]

Is the Sadist Hour liable to be entertaining for me given there are still vast gulfs in my cricket knowledge? Will it help fill those or have me wishing I didn't bother, would you say?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's basically a VERY detailed look at often quite niche areas of the (mostly Test) game with heavy use of statistics, heavy use of obscure, forgotten literature, and a heavy dose of surreality. They go into history a lot so it's probably a quite entertaining way of looking at that. I have been a cricket nut for so long that I have no real idea what it's like not to be one, so I'm not sure how much prior knowledge you would need.

At least worth trying one of the back issues and seeing what you think, which was what I did after being tipped off in this thread and ended up devouring everything they have done.

[Danny]

I tried it on your recommendation, specifically the Wicketkeeping one, and really enjoyed. Downloaded a ton of the back catalogue and will be working my way through them.

Spartacus :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The main round starts today with India v New Zealand in everyone's favourite venue, Nagpur. NZ have an impressive lineup but there have to be question marks over both their bowling of spin and their playing of it. It would be priceless if they toppled India though.

[Max Power]

Anyone But India :nodd:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm in danger of going full Keegan regarding the India v Pakistan match. Can you imagine the scenes.

[Townsend]

Played an absolute blinder on some minnow betting during this qualification round thing.

Had Munsey as top run scorer for Scotland at 14-1
Had Watt as top wicket taker for Scotland at 8-1
Had Ansari as top wicket taker for Oman at 6-1
Had Van Meekeren as top wicket taker for Holland at 2-1 (put this on after their first game)
Had Oman to beat Ireland at 4.33/1

Only bet I had which didn't come in other than a couple on the rained off matches which returned their stakes was Davey to be Scotland's top wicket taker which obviously didn't come in. Dat Associate cricket knowledge.

[Jimmy Floyd]

New Zealand have left out Boult, Southee and McClenaghan :D

Must be one of those spitting turners that did for South Africa. Hopefully it backfires on India.

[Max Power]

Quiet start then

[Jimmy Floyd]

Only got live text but what's coming across is the swinging of massive Kiwi testicles.

[Max Power]

Williamson has calmed it down a bit but looks strangely scratchy.

[igor_balis]

Not a great start from NZ.

[Max Power]

Or not. This is game over

[Jimmy Floyd]

Such a ropey shout to bat first. 'Dew factor' as well.

[Max Power]

Ball is turning big. Ish Sodhi to run through em. Maybe.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Letting Suresh Bradman rattle through overs of filth like this should see them relegated to the associate ranks.

[igor_balis]

Bangladesh's women got 91-5 from their 20 overs chasing 163-5, how the fuck do you manage that?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Quite common in women's games, they are usually manoeuvrers of the ball so the hit out or get out route isn't really there. 163 is massive.

[Max Power]

Mitch Santner running riot. 12-3.

If India lose this...

[Jimmy Floyd]

Erm...

[igor_balis]

:happycry:

[Max Power]

Absolutely no value to bowling Corey fucking Anderson at this point. Get the spinners on

[Max Power]

26-4. I'm getting some cans

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yuvraj shouldn't get in their 5th team.

Quite satisfied with my Kohli top Indian bat in the innings wager at this stage.

Can Kane bowl? Just spin all the way surely.

[Max Power]

Fuck me if Dhoni had got run out off a free hit I'd weep tears of joy.

Kohli is batting on a different pitch to everyone else, as long as he's still in they'll win.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is godly captaincy. Burn up the shit overs while they are getting in.

EDIT: :harold:

[Max Power]

Can't get Santner off the square. What a time to be alive

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can you hear the bellends sing?

[hfswjyr]

The footwork on display here is tremendous.

[Max Power]

This is just brilliant

[hfswjyr]

Will there be riots in India?

[Max Power]

Save that for when Pakistan turn them over. Unless they react to this defeat by kicking them out the tournament.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Will there be riots in India?

There are always riots in India.

They just don't understand cricket well enough to know that a snorting turner does not favour them, it's a great leveller.

[Max Power]

Hopefully this sets the tone for a brilliantly mad tournament. England/Afghanistan final please

[Max Power]

Great appreciaton from the crowd for that great catch and this great New Zealand performance...

[Jimmy Floyd]

:rave:

Bit of a shoeing in the end, dat net run rate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shahid bhai on a roll. Pakistan coming good for the tournament :drool:

[Max Power]

Bangladesh have bowled terribly to be fair. Nervy as fuck.

Great catch there from Sarkar though.

[Max Power]

Boom Boom in good nick for a 52 year old. Striking it cleanly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they could bat just as badly and get Pakistan's net run rate sky high that would be grand. Pretty sure this group will come down to net run rate.

[Max Power]

Amir, Wahab, Irfan is a very decent pace attack. If they had a Ajmal level spinner...

[Jimmy Floyd]

Imad Wasim will be enough to account for the white men. If they bat like that they win it imo. Probably won't get to face giants like Al-Amin Hossain in every game though.

[Max Power]

Afridi post match (paraphrasing): "I've always said I'm important to the team so it was important I played well today" :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon he dyes his beard black. Must be minimum 41 years old, realistically.

We are batting first. West Indies bowling looks shit to me, so I'll say 126/9 in our 20.

[Max Power]

Think we're a bit short. Need some major fireworks in the last two overs, could have done with Buttler being there.

[Max Power]

Hmm, about par. Just feel we delayed the onslaught a couple overs too many, although considering the recent problem has been going too hard and getting bowled out I suppose that's understandable.

Rashid is key.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would open with Mo (threatens Gayle), shuffle through his four in the first 12 and then not use Jordan until the death. But we'll see.

Having six frontline bowlers in this is such a luxury.

[John Arne]

Jordan will go for at least 45. Completely useless.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He nails his yorkers at the end, but he doesn't seem to know where to bowl it at other times, and I still think he has a technical issue with his alignment at the crease. With this attack, though, if we can get 14 out of Stokes, Willey, Topley and Moeen then he only needs to bowl two at the end.

[Max Power]

Dewfactordewfactordewfactor

[John Arne]

Great start.

[John Arne]

That second lbw claim looked decent.

[Max Power]

Who was that geezer old the board who was always naming David Willey in our prospective England XIs from about 2011 onwards? History shall prove him right.

[John Arne]

Well, that wasn't completely awful by Jordan.

[Max Power]

They'll cruise this. Pace attack is toothless.

[igor_balis]

Appalling bowling so far from England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They can't hold it in the dew. Same shit as 2014.

[Max Power]

Wet ball or not, this is steaming hot garbage from England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Stokes is a dogshit T20 cricketer. He has no brain, and this is the format where you most need one.

[Max Power]

Jesus how many wides?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hopefully we do the decent thing and lose to Afghanistan.

[hfswjyr]

Stokes is a dogshit T20 cricketer. He has no brain, and this is the format where you most need one.

What? Test cricket...

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nah. Test cricket demands concentration. T20 demands the ability to think on your feet and react to situations.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Afghanistan win the toss and bat first. Words to strike fear into the hearts of non-dons everywhere.

[Davgooner]

I was hoping for so much more when I saw the headline 'SL pick Jaysuriya'.

Damn.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're playing them last, as our misery will be in need of compounding by then with a thumping 10 wicket defeat.

[Max Power]

How fat is Malinga? :D

Slow start from the 'Stan, bowling is there strength but you'd think they need 170+

[igor_balis]

I'm so delighted with how my unemployment has been timed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All I've seen live is a snatch of Afghanistan v Zimbabwe. Living every ball on cricinfo though. Something glorious about the format: Herath to some renegade, OUT and I imagine his 'just doing my job, but I could kill you' bank manager/army sergeant celebration.

[Max Power]

Herath top five cricketer of the past decade. Love him so much.

Some decent tap from skipper Asghar Stanikzai here. Not enough runs on the board though :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

For me, Clive, 145 is well in it if they bowl well.

[Max Power]

Lusty blows at the end there. Like with England yesterday, seems a bit of a shame they didn't launch a couple overs early.

Game on though

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck knows how they got this many though. 51/4 off 11.

[Max Power]

Some basic errors in the field have made this a bit easier for Sri Lanka. At least 12 runs chucked away in the last few overs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Solid effort overall I reckon. With the amount of games they get against top 8 sides (none, really) it's hard to pin down canny sods like Dilshan and Angelo.

Reckon they get in two of the other three games as well.

[Byron]

LBWatson opening :drool:

[Max Power]

New Zealand winning the tournament with their spin attack would be fun.

[Max Power]

Kiwis on it so far playing on a couple of tricky surfaces. If their batting fires when they get to flatter pitches no reason why they can't win it. Would be good.

[ItalAussie]

Our bowling attack just isn't suited to the conditions. It's not why we lost today, but it's certainly why we're not in with a prayer of winning the competition.

New Zealand winning the thing would be great.

[Max Power]

Batting second :cool:

DEW FACTOR

[John Arne]

Jesus fucking Christ. At least try to bowl in the right areas... don't just sling it down as fast as possible.

[Max Power]

Innocuous medium pacers getting absolutely destroyed. Thought they might pick Plunkett for something a little bit different

[Max Power]

Hahaha Jesus this over from Jordan.

Out of the tournament already then

[Max Power]

250 on the cards

[igor_balis]

Fucking hell...

[Max Power]

Should peg them back now with that chancer De Villiers coming in

[Max Power]

Nothing he can do about the absolute piefest from his seamers in the powerplay, but this is fairly average captaincy from Morgan - just bowling the spinners (who have actually been decent) in a one big block in the middle overs. Now it'll be back to the one paced attack at the death and they'll get like 300

[Davgooner]

Fucking hell this is grim.

Bowl another full toss, you twat.

[Max Power]

"Small margin of error" says Nicholas Knight. Yeah those knee high full tosses and wide long hops only just off being good deliveries

[Byron]

My God, just take Jordan out back and shoot the fucker now.

[Max Power]

Genuinely hard to believe he and Topley couldn't have bowled worse if they tried.

Absolute disgrace in the field as well

[Davgooner]

What.

[Byron]

Fucking hell. I'm not sure what to make of this.

[Max Power]

Saffer spinners are bowling dross, should have even more already. Frustrating, Especially with Buttler still in the shed

[Byron]

Whichever way this goes the batters have been pretty fucking excellent.

[Max Power]

Absolutely absurd. Root for Chancellor, get him on the plane to the Euro 2016 anything everything what a man, what a player.

[Byron]

I think you'll find that's Sir Joe Root to you.

[igor_balis]

Root gone. Argh.

[Byron]

Don't you dare Third Umpire, don't you fucking dare.

[Max Power]

Fucking hell lads calm down yeah

[niko_cee]

For fuck's sake.

:D

New Zealand are nailed on to get to the final and then meekly surrender against either India or Australia.

[Max Power]

Great stuff. Gonna record the highlights so I can watch that Jason Roy on drive in the first over again and again

[John Arne]

Quality wobble at the end :D

[Byron]

What the fuck was that last over?

[igor_balis]

That was brilliant fun. Further proof cricket>football, if I needed any more convincing.

[Waffdon]

Called Root years ago. What a cutie

[ItalAussie]

Had dinner with Henry Olonga today. Top, top bloke.

[Byron]

I'm not sure what's worse, Sri Lanka dropping catches to ensure that Gayle stays in the hutch, or the spectators booing because they don't get to see 'The Universe Boss'