The Cricket Thread

[Max Power]

Remember Pankaj Singh? He wasn't that bad tbf, they just kept dropping catches off him the poor lad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hardus 'Nails' Viljoen.

:drool:

[Max Power]

He was absolutely shagged after his first spell :D That was Stokes 250 right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was the game after that I think, Broad skittled them to win the series. He got Cook caught down the leg side iirc but it was all downhill from there.

This is us winning the match right now.

[Max Power]

Just remembering when India recalled RP Singh because he'd bowled well in the 2007 series. He was unfit and bowled like a drain.

Mushfiqur has fucked it with the double bowling change. Should always have one of Mehedi or Shakib bowling. Good application and technique from this pair though. A lead would be incredible.

[Max Power]

Woakes should bat at four second innings.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That should have been out. Cheers, Gaffers.

[Max Power]

The first ball he bowled in the spell was way higher and they didn't call it.

[Max Power]

Best bowler in the series by an absolute mile is bowling to England's number 10 with just one fielder close in and five in the deep. What a turnaround.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There he is again. He doesn't bowl bad balls ever, which is the mark of a star in the making.

[Max Power]

This spell from Finn has been about three overs too long. Deficit wiped out in no time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why do we have a fucking long on and long off to our spinners in the first 7 overs.

[Max Power]

Long off! Playing with the spin, little push and you get a single. Maddening stuff from Cook.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Moeen is getting a shitload of drift as well, but all the batsman has to do is use their feet even somewhat, get the bat on it and off they go to the other end.

That shot by Tamim though, love it.

[Max Power]

He's playing great but we've let him get away so easily with negative fields and Finn feeding him half volleys for three overs

[Jimmy Floyd]

Here it comes...

Abhorrent shot from Mominul.

[Max Power]

Two best players in the shed. Collapse incoming

[Max Power]

This has been even worse than the first session of the match. Awful captaincy and absolute garbage bowling from everyone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's just so uniformly defensive. It's all very well saying the bowlers aren't helping him, but he clearly doesn't rate any of them to start with and wishes he had Jimmy and Broady and Swanny and Bressy lad creating pressure.

[Max Power]

For the 12th time this series I'm going to say there's no way Bangladesh should win from here. But you know, it's Bangladesh.

[Max Power]

5 rpo, 1 maiden in the innings :face:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I like Adil but this is absolute nonsense.

Not even any respite on the other side, with Kohli and Dhoni well on their way. I like to think Finn and Kamrul will become penpals after this match.

[Max Power]

My word Mahmudullah you clown :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm generally against the death penalty, but Mahmudullah surely has to swing for that shot.

[Max Power]

The Bangladesh cricket team has got to be the most mentally fragile group of twats ever surely? I mean what is he thinking there.

Don't fancy chasing 200+ though so need to bowl better tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reckon Chef is due, so 200ish and I'll take it.

Bangladesh have the horrible combination of massive public pressure on them and (relative) lack of ability, although as the latter recedes with time, so the former is ramped up further. Once they get over the line in one of these games (probably this one) they'll prosper I think.

[Ian]

Is it England penalty shootout syndrome where the players have grown up watching mental fragility so it becomes self-perpetuating?

[Jimmy Floyd]

They grew up watching Javed Omar and Khaled Mashud, so at least they've made strides in the quality department.

[Max Power]

Didn't see this start coming at all. Duckett playing beautifully.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Duckett knock has ridden its luck somewhat but it's been absolutely tremendous.

[Max Power]

He took Shakib to the absolute cleaners.

This is still in the balance but the batting depth and Bangla's flakiness should see us home.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The fact that they were seething about technology just now sums up their mindset. That said, this is a lot of runs. Woakes and Finn to haul us over the line.

As if on cue, Gaz Ballance, dear oh dear.

[Dquincy]

He took Shakib to the absolute cleaners.

This is still in the balance but the batting depth and Bangla's flakiness should see us home.

For fucks sake Ballance.
Max, I think you're underestimating England's top order flakiness.

[Max Power]

Ballance is practically a night watchman now. Woakes and Rashid are better players.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This has assumed the shape of a pear.

[Max Power]

Uh oh :cab:

[Davgooner]

Bring on India.

[Dquincy]

Need a man of the match performance from Stokes now. And hope the others stay in long enough.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Athar Ali Khan has his excited voice on. Surely he of all people should know by now. 11/4, I'm on England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Also, calling this right now: Mehedi Hasan is better than any Indian spinner.

[Dquincy]

Stokesy you old slag.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Great review, Rash.

[Davgooner]

We're No.1 in the world at this sort of thing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To be fair, this is a very good side in their own conditions. We can't bat (awful selection not helping) but they've been magnificent.

[Davgooner]

Asking for a non-existent review is a fitting end.

[ItalAussie]

Bangladesh earned that, and it's great to see them picking off big teams. It wasn't a fluke either - they looked decent all series.

I have no particular animosity against the English cricket team (aside from when the Ashes are on, natch), but there's something really special about an England collapse. We all do it on occasion, but you guys do it with such panache.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To be honest, we didn't even do anything particularly retarded, Ballance aside. We were up against spin bowling of immense quality on a wicket that favoured it. Our failure was earlier on in the match when our own spin bowling was consistently poor.

[Dquincy]

To be honest, we didn't even do anything particularly retarded, Ballance aside. We were up against spin bowling of immense quality on a wicket that favoured it. Our failure was earlier on in the match when our own spin bowling was consistently poor.

Playing home or away (internationally) really does make a big difference. That said, I was expecting England to have leant from the first test conditions. Hey ho. Exciting times.

Be interested to see how Bangladesh fair in their next test series.

[Max Power]

Great scenes really. Credit to Bangladesh. Hope the Australian tour there goes ahead now.

First Test in Rajkot starts in ten days! Crazy schedule. Good job this match was done in three days.

3-1 India.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It won't. Australia have consistently cried off everything over the last 25 years.

I don't know what to go with in Rajkot. We need someone in for Ballance, but I just don't think Buttler is the answer. We need a proper top order bat and the one we have in the squad is Hameed. Get him in somehow. Root down to 4.

[Max Power]

Need some right handers up there as well with Ashwin lurking.

As I said a few days ago, I think they will pick Buttler. I'm warmer on it than I was a few months ago but still would be a mistake.

No idea of the bowling line up either tbh. Broad back in for Finn obviously but no idea on Batty/Rashid/Ansari. They may just play one and bring another seamer in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they're going to field Jake Ball or someone as a 4th seamer, they might as well just pick Buttler to bat at 8.

Sending Ballance home and bringing another middle order batsman would help (no, Vince, not you). Has Ramprakash brought his gear?

[Max Power]

The Lions are touring the UAE soon so you'd imagine the first lad to get some runs will be parachuted into India after a crushing innings defeat in Rajkot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Squad: N Gubbins, K Jennings, T Alsop, D Bell-Drummond, T Westley, J Clarke, L Livingstone, B Foakes, L Dawson, O Rayner, Jack Leach, S Curran, T Curran, T Roland-Jones, J Ball, J Fuller, C Overton, S Meaker

There's not even anything there to come in and bat number 4. Westley or Clarke? That would be desperation on a 2001 Ashes scale.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/1062502.html

I love finding shit games like this live on Cricinfo. Not only is this some early part of World Cup qualifying, technically at least, but the players have names like 'AAA Amsterdam' and Italy are in a decent position to cause a huge upset.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I thought I was immune to Bob Willis rants now, but him saying that Ballance and Rashid should be on a charter flight back to Leeds/Bradford Airport as soon as possible (this is on the ECB's broadcast rights holder, remember) is just too good.

[igor_balis]

I thought I was immune to Bob Willis rants now, but him saying that Ballance and Rashid should be on a charter flight back to Leeds/Bradford Airport as soon as possible (this is on the ECB's broadcast rights holder, remember) is just too good.

It was brilliant. I can't remember what he ended the evening with, but "Trotty" and "Butch" were pissing themselves. Finally bit the bullet and got Sky Sports on Now TV last night, and watching the verdict I immediately felt vindicated.

[Ian]

The Verdict is the best sport coverage punditry thing on TV, for my money. I don't like it so much when they don't have somebody who's in the side of the opposite team in there but generally it's excellent.

I think my favourite Bob comment was his harsh "Simple" Simon Kerrigan moment.

[Max Power]

The true Bob Willis heads prefer his earlier, more Daryl Harper centric work.

[John Arne]

The Aussies collapsing from 158/0 to 244 all out is pretty special.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wanting South Africa to win makes me feel dirty, but given how shit they are these days (especially without AB who is presumably busy collecting his Nobel Prizes) it would be hilarious if they could pull something off.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/1063555.html

Boys doing me proud.

[ItalAussie]

The Aussies collapsing from 158/0 to 244 all out is pretty special.

I went into a seminar just as Warner got out. When I checked the score afterwards, I just sighed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jimmy now flying out and perhaps ready for the second Test. Perhaps lolling at lolstralia was good for his recovery.

[Max Power]

Steve Smith's face after he was given out on review the other day certainly perked me up from a cold so it's definitely possible.

[ItalAussie]

The really painful thing about today was that it was Elgar. He's a nothing batsman. :moop:

Duminy's screwed us over before though, so fair play.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You've got a bit unlucky that they've stumbled upon a decent XI, the sort of joke players they were putting out against us in January would be going round the park for 550/4 as per.

The advent of (it's our problem free philosophy) Bavuma/Rabada to sort the quota out has been a big plus for them as well.

[Danny]

http://i.imgur.com/3rh6M4U.gif

Bavuma :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

That Bavuma run out is the best I've ever seen, made even better by the fact that it's Davey Warner he run out.

https://twitter.com/pavilionopinion/status/795160774029312000

[Max Power]

That is quality.

Did you see Mohammed Amir get run out the other day? Classic Pakistan. He smashed it out to long on, thinks it's going for six and they amble to meet each other in the middle but it's hauled in and he gets run out whilst they are practically shaking hands in the middle of the pitch.

[Danny]

That's quality from Bavuma.

Full clip of the Amir one. I saw it the other day. Great work on the rope by Chase.

https://youtu.be/LB6f_B7c81E

[Blitz]

The really painful thing about today was that it was Elgar. He's a nothing batsman. :moop:

Duminy's screwed us over before though, so fair play.

Elgar is a classic opener, I'm a massive fan.

This team has some potential, Bavuma, Rabada and de Kock is the future. De Kock will turn out to make Adam Gilchrist look like an average club cricketer. What a talent.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You need to find some support bowlers for Rabada, because Steyn/Morkel/Philander are all going to disappear over the hill at some point. You also need to avoid potential Test players fucking off to county cricket because of the quotas. That aside, the future seems pretty bright.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/254600/254634.3.jpg

I find this training image fascinating, like a Bruegel. Fuck knows who half the people in it even are, and I don't know whether to be more fascinated by where Rashid's rope is moored (Root's anal cavity?) or the fact that the only person in the entire picture holding a bat is Otis fucking Gibson.

[Max Power]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CwotBz4WQAAfV8B.jpg:large

[Max Power]

George Dobell reckons Hameed for Ballance and Duckett to four. The side that should have started in Chittagong.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If there's one thing we are number one in the world at, it's stubbornly selecting the wrong team at the start of away tours and then gradually correcting it.

[Max Power]

Bresnan ahead of Panesar at Ahmedebad the aboslute pinnacle

[Jimmy Floyd]

Closely followed by Tremlett ahead of Panesar here: http://www.espncricinfo.com/pakistan-v-england-2012/engine/match/531628.html

And Tremlett in Brisbane last time we were there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus, it's tomorrow. If they pick Finn instead of a spinner I'll seethe at 4am. Ball I could just about stomach.

Maybe it'll be a raging GREENTOP and we'll have to fly Graham Napier in at the last minute.

[Max Power]

I'm actually quite excited. That will soon evapourate when I'm making my third coffee of the morning at 6am with India 150/0 but still.

Really want to watch Hameed bat. The tones in which he's spoken about by the journalists, players and coaches on the county circuit coupled with there not being much actual footage of him out there is enticing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Paul Edwards cricinfo reports from his innings this season are probably more vivid than actually watching him to be honest.

They say he's incredibly correct and just doesn't play a loose shot ever. I hope Bayliss and co haven't spent the last month trying to make him play a more expansive brand of cricket, cobber.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think this is the first one I read right at the beginning of the season when I'd barely if ever heard of him: http://www.espncricinfo.com/county-cricket-2016/content/story/1011093.html


Hameed deserves credit for opening the Lancashire innings with impressive solidity and for the smooth grace with which he drove the ball through the covers. Although only 19 years old and with more than 15 cricketing summers before him, he bats as if every innings is precious. Hameed plays a minimum of 12 shots every over, six to the balls bowled and then at least one after each of those six, as if he is still searching for a shot so perfect that it defies experience or description. He leaves the ball as a matador might manoeuvre a bull, the bat a muleta before it becomes a sword.


Simon Barnes once wrote of cricket as a wonderful metaphor for death and one imagines that each of his dismissals is accompanied by a sense of mild bereavement for Hameed. At one stage it seemed nip and tuck whether, if Hameed was to score his first century for Lancashire, he would do so before the county completed the building of their new hotel.


James Tomlinson must feel like one of the last Texians at the Alamo, albeit that Hameed currently lays the gentlest of sieges.

This is what it must have been like being a cricket supporter in the 1950s or whatever when Miller or Harvey came to your ground on an Australian tour and you'd never glimpsed them in your life, only read about them.

[Max Power]

Yeah exactly. Sort of if your football club signed a player from abroad in the 90s and there was a sense of anticpiation. Not now when you've seen him play multiple times on BT Sport or in the Champions League and the fan forums are full of fans of his previous club telling you everything about him.

He does seem like the most nailed on lad to play for England since er, Joe Root. Attitude and drive seems perfect. Nice profile here http://www.alloutcricket.com/features/haseeb-hameed-im-ready-to-play-for-england

[Max Power]

England batting first, Cook dropped third ball!

[Jimmy Floyd]

As if they've just shelled Chef for 0 off the third ball of the match. IT'S A SIGN

[Jimmy Floyd]

A commentary trio of Shastri, Botham and Gavaskar. Half expecting Donald Trump to walk in and make it a foursome.

[Max Power]

:D was just thinking this is commentary team for the moment.

India clearly rattled by the news. Dropping catches like the beta cucks they are.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How the fucking hell did they pick Gallance over this kid.

[Max Power]

That drive off Ashwin :drool:

[Max Power]

Thought that was going down in real time. Missing by a mile in fact.

Root and Hameed batting together though. The future.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Was a dreadful decision and an even worse one not to review.

England struggling to find an opening partner for Haseeb Hameed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jadeja making howling fielding errors and the Indian commentators saying 'a rare lapse from India's best fielder' will never get old. He's average to poor.

[Max Power]

They were on about Kohli being a "keen" slip fielder earlier when he dropped one. Nasser then taking the words right out my mouth when he replied "it's alright being keen but is he good?"

[Max Power]

Duckett has all the shots but has no defensive technique to fall back on against the spinners.

Need that long batting line up to come to the fore again. 400 min on this pitch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was going to say before he got out, the way he sets up against off spinners is absolute nonsense, huge gate and moving parts everywhere.

I'd like Woakes in next really, need an accumulator, not someone who goes hard at the ball.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kohli turns to R Ashwin again, with tea approaching

61.1
Ashwin to Ali, FOUR, lovely stuff from Moeen, comes down the pitch and spanks Ashwin over mid-on, got to the pitch and easily cleared the man on the edge of the ring. Statement shot to welcome the bowler back

Please let the whole series be like this.

[Max Power]

Mohammed bloody Shami has looked probably their best bowler and he's gone off injured.

This session has been eerily perfect.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This partnership is like karmic rebalancing. My two favourite England players, possibly ever.

[ItalAussie]

So we're clear at the start of this series, I am 100% behind England here.

[Max Power]

Staggering that so many people are interested in an American election whilst Joe Root and Moeen Ali are putting India to the sword in their own back yard.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Only 8 England players ever with more runs and wickets than Moeen. A couple of those are within his sights as well.

[Ian]

Cracking day. Hope they've got Shastri on the Verdict.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Unlikely, since he's commentating at the ground.

I had the radio on for a spell on the way into work and in between Sir Geoffrey Boycott complaining about not being able to find any fish & chips or lamb chops in the Gujarat, they had Gavaskar on who was creaming himself over the English batting in a way you'd never hear him do on TV. Remarkable stuff.

[Max Power]

The Indian comms were slobbering plenty over Root on TV as well tbf. Thought it was decent actually, lots of technichal chat about batting and spin bowling. Early days in the series though, Laxman Sivaranakrishnan will have me reaching for the mute button if Ashwin and Jadeja are runnin through us later on on the match/series.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The problem they have is Nass is over there dropping truth bombs, so they can't really keep up the act in the same way they do with compliant colonial bantermasters like Simon Doull alongside them.

Mostly the foreign commentators go over there looking to suck up and earn themselves an IPL chatting deal, but Nasser does not need this as he has the job security of a trip to the Sky Pod at Chelmsford on a freezing Wednesday night in May to go back to.

[Max Power]

However, from the point of view of English cricket, beginning a Test series away from home, Trump's election, whether or not it provokes the Armageddonic scenarios some have predicted, is unquestionably good news. For England are undefeated in winter Test series following a Republican presidential victory since 1980.

In 1984, after Ronald Reagan's re-election, David Gower led England to a 2-1 victory in India. In 1988, following George Bush Sr's victory, England had the winter off after the cancellation of another Indian tour. When Bush Jr "won" his first election, in 2000, England followed up by winning in both Pakistan and Sri Lanka, and the re-election of the controversial W in 2004 presaged Michael Vaughan's team winning 2-1 in South Africa.

The Donald sparking a famous win for England?

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we win a five Test series in India with this spin attack then my name's Steve Tikolo.

Any chance of sending panic through the bastards would be nice though, in 2012 they basically fell to bits at the first sign of us getting on top of them.

[Ian]

Unlikely, since he's commentating at the ground.

Oh balls. Even aside from potential seethe I genuinely liked him on there during the last series, even if he's usually the most one-eyed man in the world.

[Ian]

I don't quite like the Verdict as much when they don't have somebody there from the opposing nation.

I'm enjoying this bit on Duckett very much. I still learn something new pretty much any time I watch or hear a decent cricket pundit being allowed to get into something properly. As shit a name as it is it's why I liked the ASHES ZONE when they had the likes of Ponting in there.

EDIT: Also I've only seen highlights but I like what little I've seen of Hameed from today. Not an eye-opening score but some lovely shots and didn't seem fazed by making his first start as an opener in one of the toughest tours to do it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

His forward press is straight off the dream boat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Indian TV just put a drinks 'session so far' set of highlights on, and one of the balls they included was Stokes leaving one that Trashwin got to turn a bit.

Rattled already :drool:

[Max Power]

Even if this match ends a draw could land some serious blows here. Dropping catches everywhere, spinners getting tap, Kohli irritated.

[Ian]

Very pleasantly surprised to wake up and see that score. The drops combined with batsmen taking it to them (rather than getting a score through nervy attrition) will rankle, you'd think.

Last century by a visiting player over there was Clarke in 2013 I think they said. :|

[Jimmy Floyd]

Trashwin 2 for 157, fucking well bowled mate. Number one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://i.imgur.com/cStEqV0.png

This is probably why I consider the Trashmeister a club level pie thrower who couldn't get in the Derbyshire team, whilst in reality he's the number one ranked Test bowler. New Zealand true experts against spin as ever.

[Blitz]

Certainly fucked us in the ass. It happened on the most doctored pitches I've ever seen though.

I'd like to see those stats on a home and away basis.

[Jimmy Floyd]

India RR 2.89
Last 10 ovs 18/0 RR 1.80
Min overs remaining 40

The cricketing equivalent of Monday morning.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Right, so they've batted the entire day for the loss of 2 wickets and they're still going to be about 240 behind. This is one of those good old-fashioned pitches on which Sri Lanka used to rack up 750 for fun.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63762.html

537 :uhoh:

[Mr. Malik]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63762.html

537 :uhoh:

I love looking at that scorecard. de Silva walks in at a precarious 2/615 on day five and hits a composed ton, what a man.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/62652.html

Another favourite of the genre. 847 balls :cool:

[Max Power]

I love looking at that scorecard. de Silva walks in at a precarious 2/615 on day five and hits a composed ton, what a man.
It's about when you get your runs. Clutch player.

Any chance of a result in this Test do we think? Only scenario I can see is India getting level and England completely ballsing up the third innings tempo a la Adelaide 06. Or someone lobs a grenade on the pitch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Even if India bat all day tomorrow, if they score at the same rate they'll still only be 37 ahead at the close. The best chance of a result is if England get some kind of a lead and then try to go hell for leather for the win, which, this being a Cook side, they will not. They probably should, though. YOLO.

[Max Power]

Australia at it again. 2/2 after two overs :happycry:

[Danny]

Thinking about ditching the verdict for it

[ItalAussie]

I turn on and it's 8/3. Oof.

South Africans losing Steyn and being able to call on the very good Abbott is a bit rough.

[ItalAussie]

Four. At least I switched it on in time to see that. :moop:

EDIT: Really good hat-trick ball, too. Forced to play.

[elth]

If you're not an Australian and you enjoy Australian misery, you're missing an absolute cracker for schadenfreude here.

At least everyone's mates, eh Darren Lehmann?

[ItalAussie]

For what it's worth, Smith is really showing his class.

Warner getting himself out to a silly shot, which is always a risk. Everyone else not really very good.

[ItalAussie]

Mennie was picked over Bird for his batting, apparently. I laughed then. I'm not laughing now.

[Danny]

Vaughan and Swann on this BT Coverage. I dislike it already.

[ItalAussie]

Smith deserves better than this shower.

[Danny]

Mennie was picked over Bird for his batting, apparently. I laughed then. I'm not laughing now.

Second highest score :uhoh:

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you're not an Australian and you enjoy Australian misery, you're missing an absolute cracker for schadenfreude here.

At least everyone's mates, eh Darren Lehmann?

Wonder how far outside Matty Hayden's 'trust circle' they all are now.

Virat Kohli doing his best to provide competition in the lol stakes by treading on his stumps against a rank Rashid long hop.

[niko_cee]

If they are going to keep turning out pitches likes this then this India series is going to be painful, West Indies tour level dull, just waiting for the inevitable tour defining collapse.

Have the Aussies rolled out (and been rolled out on) a famous Hobart GREENTOP or are they just shit?

[Queenslander]

Both

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://twitter.com/btsportcricket/status/797314194446151680

Warner's shot at the start of this remarkable highlights reel suggests the latter.

[Max Power]

The fact that Steve Smith scored some runs shows that there can't have been much lateral movement

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sorry, this one: https://twitter.com/btsportcricket/status/797277722192080896

They need to actually put this balls out style of cricket in the bin, it's total horsewank.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Another thing that probably needs to go in the bin is Beefy's endangered species shooting banter.

[niko_cee]

:D

That shot is amazing. What was it, third ball of the match or something?

Smith seemed to be doing his level best to get trapped dead in front.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The best thing is it's only the third lollest thing in the video, after Philander and Steve Smith crashing into each other, and Callum Ferguson's brother seething out of the ground.

[niko_cee]

I wondered who that was.

I can't work out what is more perplexing about Jadeja. That he seems to now have his rank pies rated as actual bowling, or that his test batting record is so poor. He was a batsman originally, wasn't he?

[niko_cee]

Excellent hands Chef.

[Max Power]

We're gonna get rolled for 150 :nodd:

[elth]

The pitch is green, but South Africa bowled well and Australia batted terribly. It's a 200-250 first innings wicket, not an 80 odd one.

[niko_cee]

We're gonna get rolled for 150 :nodd:

Which might have been alright with a lead of 75, but now we're going to be behind and it's going to be problematic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cook's drop at slip was absolutely ridiculous, as is the amount of fortune Trashwin has had in this 'knock'.

[niko_cee]

Now looking assured against the deadly twirling.

[Max Power]

Hameed lofting Jadeja over mid off :drool:

Just a blocker though

[Jimmy Floyd]

And milking the fuck out of Ashwin in the subsequent over. We've found our opener at last.

[Max Power]

Health permitting, there is no chance this lad doesn't make it. Just looks right at home already.

[niko_cee]

Time to roll out the declaration bowling.

Oh wait, they opened with Jadeja.

[Ian]

FEC Hameed. :drool:

Lovely score to wake up to.

Assuming we don't collapse what target are we aiming at here?

[Max Power]

Don't see anything other than a real token declaration. Have 40 overs at them maybe.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, no interest from either side in trying to win this.

Hard to believe at this point that options like Ballance and Buttler were seriously considered instead of this kid.

Amit Mishra and his wig/hair transplant need binning off for the next game in favour of some chucky off spinner. The Pie Brothers will come into it in Vizag although at the moment I'm still sticking with Mehedi Hasan.

[Max Power]

Yeah seems as Vizag is gonna be a bunsen.

Think I've said it before, but where is Pragyan Ojha? Always quite rated him. Surprised he hasn't played more Tests.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Consulting the Ranji Trophy statistics, which is the sort of thing I do at 11.15am on a Saturday morning, you're probably looking at Yuzvendra Chahal or for a random option against the left handers, the chinamen of Kuldeep Yadav. Ojha doesn't seem to be in the mix these days.

Leading wicket taker in the competition is Pankaj Singh :drool:

[Danny]

Ashwin being reduced to the Giles tactic :drool:

[Max Power]

"Continues to show he's a MASTERCHEF in these conditions"

Vintage Shastri :D

Cook goes past Don Fraudman to 30 Test hundreds. Most hundreds in India by an overseas batsman as well

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bradman didn't have to face anyone as good as Amit Mishra either.

Anderson looks like he's hovering around the team like a shark now but would I pick him? I don't know. I wouldn't lose a spinner for him.

Why the hell didn't Pujara review that? Never out.

[niko_cee]

Probably should have brought Rashid on before the 15th over.

[niko_cee]

Hello.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely loving this, even though we're not going to do it. Well on top of India in their own conditions.

[Mr. Malik]

Yeah seems as Vizag is gonna be a bunsen.

Think I've said it before, but where is Pragyan Ojha? Always quite rated him. Surprised he hasn't played more Tests.

He got called for throwing a couple of years ago and is no good with the remodelled action.

[ItalAussie]

Absolutely loving this, even though we're not going to do it. Well on top of India in their own conditions.

Given how it finished, do you think if they'd pushed the run rate and gotten another 20 overs, you'd be one up?

[elth]

I love the the burbling in the Guardian OBO for this test is whether or not Nathan Lyon should be dropped. Bowled out for 85? Better pick a new spin bowler.

[ItalAussie]

You have to laugh, really.

[igor_balis]

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/while-australia-destroy-themselves-england-destroy-the-game-20161113-gsocm4.html

:happycry:

[niko_cee]

Don't mind us, we're just moving the game along . . .

*skittled in a session*

[Jimmy Floyd]

Given how it finished, do you think if they'd pushed the run rate and gotten another 20 overs, you'd be one up?

No. They wouldn't have gone for any total, and I doubt they would have batted like tarts over 70 overs.

That Sydney Morning Herald article is an absolute classic. Go and watch basketball or something, cobber.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.espncricinfo.com/county-cricket-2016/content/story/1066249.html


"We had 16 applicants for the job with some extremely good candidates in amongst that list," said Moxon. "But at the end of the day, for what I believe we need, Galey was the obvious choice."

The person in charge of recruitment referring to the (32 year old novice) successful applicant by his nickname in the official announcement must have delighted the other 15 'extremely good' applicants. That along with their youth being shit and him being a total wanker suggests a glorious relegation could be on the cards soon.

[Mr. Malik]

https://streamable.com/nvix

Embarrassingly bad

[Max Power]

Ferguson gone in bizarrely similar circumstances also :cab:

[Max Power]

The natural instinct is to have a big lol at Australia as ever but this has been serious bowling from South Africa. Just relentless line and length and now Rabada starting to blast them out.

[Max Power]

Got to be approaching "heads must roll" time now for Australia surely? Maybe wait until South Africa complete an inevitable whitewash.

121/2 at the start of the day! Absolutely pathetic.

[Mr. Malik]

Got to be approaching "heads must roll" time now for Australia surely? Maybe wait until South Africa complete an inevitable whitewash.

121/2 at the start of the day! Absolutely pathetic.

Build a whole new XI around Warner, Smith, Khawaja, Starc and Hazlewood. As it stands they do all the run scoring and all the wicket taking anyway, you could replace the other six players with 18 year olds fresh out of school cricket and there'd be no noticeable difference at all. If more than half the team are passengers, there's no good reason not to throw in young players.

I mean Burns, Voges and Ferguson made 7 runs between them in this test, from six innings. You'd expect as much from three Glenn McGraths or Chris Martins.

Pattinson comes back as the third seamer, so I suppose there's only five spots left. Three batsmen, a keeper who can bat, and a spinner.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You look around Shield cricket though and I'm not sure there is any of the above who can play not so much at Test level, but at the Test level expected by Australia. They have massively neglected the Shield in the last 10 years and it's costing them dear. They definitely don't have a spinner.

There was an English born Queensland opener who I thought looked promising but I can't remember his name at the moment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Warner
Burns
Khawaja
Smith
Patterson
Lehmann
Nevill
Agar
Mennie
Hazlewood
Starc

That's my prediction. Still utter toilet. If in doubt, pick more NSW players and lengthen the batting lineup. No 5th bowler though so in reality they might go for Mitchell 'I'm shit, but in two different areas' Marsh or better still, Moises 'Henreeks' Henriques.

[Mr. Malik]

Most likely the 9 execs get on the phone to CA and four belters are rolled out for the rest of the summer, papering over the cracks. You can't demand the rights fees CA do and not provide a 'premium product', which seems to mean Australia win on day five with a match aggregate approaching 2000.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I genuinely can't wait for Misbah to score a hundred on Boxing Day. I wonder what banter Tubby and Slats will concoct from that.

Do they get Rameez Raja on nine? The possibilities are endless.

[Jimmy Floyd]

James Sutherland:


Sutherland is asked if CA is too focused on commercial matters, and not enough on the game of cricket and the Australian cricket team.

"No. No, we find the balance. It is, it is challenging to balance all of the respective interests of the game and we have significant obligations to our fans, to our venues, to our state associations, to our commercial partners to deliver content to cricket grounds and cricket venues all over the country."

His bullshit alone is surely enough content to keep their commercial partners going for years.

He also claims there will be 'massive changes' in the next squad. How massive are we talking I wonder, Harold Bishop? Julia Gillard?

[igor_balis]

i'm always getting wistful about my favourite cricketing content deliverers from my childhood

[ItalAussie]

James Sutherland:



His bullshit alone is surely enough content to keep their commercial partners going for years.

He also claims there will be 'massive changes' in the next squad. How massive are we talking I wonder, Harold Bishop? Julia Gillard?

They just rang. I'll be batting at four.

[Ian]

is that a step up from your position in Jimmy's TTH XI on the new-old board?

All I remember is that I was making up the numbers in the tail. Not wagging, that's for certain.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd say Ital would be a reliable opening bat. Ian a workhorse seamer. Igor probably a really chirpy wicketkeeper who adds handy runs at seven.

[Ian]

I could probably muster up some occasionally-accurate medium pace filth.

[John Arne]

Cracking start.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Justice for Gambhir.

I can't believe they've brought Jimmy back for this ground. We'll miss Woakes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Think we're going to need 500+ again to get out of this with anything. Classic Cook clueless captaincy of spinners, refusing to bowl Moeen before lunch because of the way he turns it.

[Max Power]

Just woke up and assumed Moeen was injured or ill or something. Bizarre, he's our best spinner.

[Max Power]

Ansari well out of his depth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's the second spinner for his county... and the first spinner for said county is carrying the drinks due to his lack of 'variety'. Which leads me to believe he's in for his batting. Could have brought Samit Patel but then I think Ansari's bowling is a bit better than his.

[igor_balis]

With the benefit of hindsight, Ansari looks like a really weird selection now. A young batsman who can bowl a bit doesn't really add a lot to this team. Zaltzman was saying on Cricket Sadists Hour that he's not even been that good this season, and it seems more like he's being picked for his form the season before when injury prevented a call up. Fucked if I know who should have played instead. Leach I suppose, but obviously I'm just going on averages and hype there.

[Max Power]

Cook seems to bring him on first out of all three spinners which is bizarre. Moeen is getting some tap now but he got brought on in the 40th over with India's two best players 50*.

[igor_balis]

My work colleague reckons if you really want a 3rd spinner you could just give Root a few overs and you wouldn't lose much from leaving out Ansari, and I'm not sure I disagree.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He had his moments this season, remember him bowling a couple of sides out in the Championship, but it was distinctly injury hit. I think they picked him not because of any form at any time in particular, but because they just 'fancy him' as a cricketer, like Liam Dawson. Batting, bowling, fielding, right sort of family, poncey intellectual references in interviews.

[Max Power]

Third spinner is fine, especially a left armer. We can't be over bowling the seamers in this heat and with this schedule. Ansari is definitely the third spinner though, should never be on before Ali or Rashid. And certainly not at 36-2.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cook seems to bring him on first out of all three spinners which is bizarre. Moeen is getting some tap now but he got brought on in the 40th over with India's two best players 50*.

It's just classic Cook MS-DOS captaincy.

>>>batsman type: RIGHT HAND
>>>>ball turning: AWAY
>>>>>ball age: NEWISH
>>>>>>bowler type required: LEFT ARM ORTHODOX
>>>>>>>bowler select: PANESAR
<<<ERROR: NOT AVAILABLE>>>
>>>input: DESPERATION
>>>>bowler select: ANSARI

[igor_balis]

Great shout on CSH by the way, Jimmy Floyd. Shame they release them randomly and often go months between episodes. Still listen?

[Max Power]

It's just classic Cook MS-DOS captaincy.

>>>batsman type: RIGHT HAND
>>>>ball turning: AWAY
>>>>>ball age: NEWISH
>>>>>>bowler type required: LEFT ARM ORTHODOX
>>>>>>>bowler select: PANESAR
<<<ERROR: NOT AVAILABLE>>>
>>>input: DESPERATION
>>>>bowler select: ANSARI

:D

True but then they keep flashing up that Kohli averages 12,000 against left arm spin and always gets out to offies. Surely the cabal of stattos in the setup would have noted that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah but variety.

Even if he bowled Moeen first he'd probably start with a long on and deep mid-wicket.

[Max Power]

Dog on the pitch always a great moment in any sport :D

[Max Power]

Going to need every bit of whatver collective and/or individual confidence was gained from all those runs in Rajkot. Going to have to get down to some serious batting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Need an innings for the ages from Root. Starting to think that the 10 batsmen route is actually the best one too, because we just don't have the bowling to get these out cheaply on a dry deck. Woakes a must for the final three.

[Max Power]

Could see them bringing Woakes in for Ansari next. Feel like we might end up missing Woakes' batting in this one tbh.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Woakes for Ansari, Batty for Anderson/Broad.

Wonder what we do when Stokes gets injured. Panic, I suppose.

[Ian]

It's just classic Cook MS-DOS captaincy.

>>>batsman type: RIGHT HAND
>>>>ball turning: AWAY
>>>>>ball age: NEWISH
>>>>>>bowler type required: LEFT ARM ORTHODOX
>>>>>>>bowler select: PANESAR
<<<ERROR: NOT AVAILABLE>>>
>>>input: DESPERATION
>>>>bowler select: ANSARI

Superb.

[niko_cee]

This'll have to be the flattest pitch this side of the SSC if we aren't going to get royally rogered by the great nemesis of English Cricket. Old Father Scoreboard Pressure.

[Ian]

Niko, mate, FEC is opening. We'll thrash the bastards. 892-4 (dec.)

[John Arne]

Super Mo :drool:

Another shocker from Dharma, apparently.... hard to believe, I know.

[Max Power]

Don't see Cook get clean bowled too often. 455 looks a long way off with him back in the dressing room.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bowled Shami? For fuck's sake. That's like travelling back to dinosaur times and getting eaten by a butterfly.

[Max Power]

Good nut tbf. Both seamers have looked dangerous.

See off the new ball and cash in when the spinners come on. Bizarro world.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Obvious jinx incoming here, but having Hameed with a proper technique and some mental discipline as an opening batsman is such a resource to have compared to the 'off to a flyer, mate' Hales/Duckett approach, which might work at home to Sri Lanka but when you get put under the pump by a decent side will always come apart.

You have to pick your best players first and define the 'brand of cricket' by them, not the other way around.

[Max Power]

Well Duckett in now. So let's look forward to 15(13).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Normally when you acknowledge the jinx at the start of the post, it stops it from happening :moop:

Root needs a double here. No pressure, Joe.

[Max Power]

Don't think Root needs anymore motivation or drive but running out the kid may push him on to a massive game saving knock.

[Jimmy Floyd]

At the moment my prediction is he'll be 70* in a total of 158.

[Max Power]

The Steve Smith knock.

He probably could do with staying at Ashwin's end because Duckett looks all at sea against the off spinners.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm only following on cricinfo today but in the first Test I thought his technique against the 'shwin was absolute nonsense, leaving all three stumps open at times as if he's trying to slap David Wainwright over extra cover in a T20 at Wantage Road. His bat has an awful long way to travel to get in line and comes from a funny angle as well.

[Max Power]

He's covering the stumps a bit more but just looks uncomfortable. Hanging back and trying to cut all the time as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Starting to think we should have played Gaz Batts in this Test instead of Zafar.

[Max Power]

Well need a nuggety 28 from Ansari to avoid the follow on.

Ball is starting to turn big and keep low.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's almost an impossible position for us because even if we get to within 100 of them, which would be a great effort, it'll then be middle of day 4 and they'll be able to add another 150 without too much jeopardy to give us a hellish day five.

There he goes.

[Max Power]

Well that was inevitable. Tbh he's better off just sweeping everything.

[Jimmy Floyd]

An English correspondent to the cricinfo commentary already calling for Duckett to be dropped because of his technical floor (sic) against spin. Has he seen Gary Ballance?

[Max Power]

Duckett will be batting tomorrow morning at this rate so he better get working on those flaws.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can only assume Jayant Yadav is the sort of chucky straight-on-with-the-arm off-spinning nightmare that usually has us in all sorts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looking at the current round of Shield games, I see pretty much every baggy green (mate) incumbent has had an absolute nightmare. Warner and Smith both out cheaply after Vics piled up 500; Burns out for 4 whilst his young Queensland opening partner Renshaw (who I mentioned before) made a ton; Voges hit on the head and out of the rest of the game; Nathan Lyon 0 for 140 and outbowled by Steve 'Believe' O'Keefe.

On the other hand, Faf du Plessis is getting done for ball tampering with mints, so we know who the real villains are.

[Max Power]

Expected to wake up to see us 10/2 following on or something. Great partnership.

[niko_cee]

Good to see it hasn't taken India long to corrupt the DRS process.

[Max Power]

Don't see why they took so long when it was caught at silly point anyway

[Max Power]

Ansari caps a terrible game by wasting a review and Broad is denied a chance to review that which was never out. Dharma strikes again.

[niko_cee]

The real cricketing story of the week is this De Grandhomme geezer, who looks like he's just stepped out of a spitfire. What a name.

Ansari is paying for running his mouth prior to the match.

[Ian]

I saw him on the news and thought he looked like a cricketing time traveller.

http://static.dnaindia.com/sites/default/files/styles/square/public/2016/11/18/520622-colin-de-grandhomme-gettyimages-edited.jpg

[Max Power]

England have bowled beautifully this innings. Shit captaincy and dropped catches in the first innings have denied a decent game. 300-320 first innings if they get Kohli early.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/stats/index.html?class=1;filter=advanced;orderby=fow_run s;partnership_wicketmax1=6;partnership_wicketmin1= 6;partnership_wicketval1=partnership_wicket;templa te=results;type=fow

6th wicket porn continues. Surprised Haddin/Haddin isn't top, mind.

[ItalAussie]

http://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/stats/index.html?class=1;filter=advanced;orderby=fow_run s;partnership_wicketmax1=6;partnership_wicketmin1= 6;partnership_wicketval1=partnership_wicket;templa te=results;type=fow

6th wicket porn continues. Surprised Haddin/Haddin isn't top, mind.

Gilchrist and Martyn batting together is my all-time favourite partnership.

Both of them had impeccable technique. Gilchrist added power and aggression, while Martyn brought wristy elegance and strike rotation.

[Danny]

I beat "Heals" got about 100 of those runs him and Waugh shared.

From what I have seen so far this morning....we are fucked.

[Queenslander]

Carn Renshaw!

[niko_cee]

Surprised they bothered with 5 overs of seam, or whatever it was.

Now I'm watching I doubt we'll see out the day.

[Max Power]

Run rate of 1.44 :drool:

[niko_cee]

Yeah, better get more men back on the fence.

:cab:

It's a distant dream, but the idea of these two being unbeaten at the end of tomorrow, with 210 on the board is one worth clinging to.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Needed a genuine grubber to get Hameed. Reckon we'd have won this Test if we won the toss.

[Kikó]

I haven't watched test cricket in ages but flicking this on to see England slog it out brings it back how glorious a sight it is.

[Kikó]

Fuuu

[ItalAussie]

Australia wringing the changes, but it's probably about time.

[Disco]

Tragically I know that phrase is a bell ring reference so no 'w' required.

[Max Power]

Only really fancied us if Cook was there tomorrow tbh.

Duckett double hundred en route to victory perhaps