The Cricket Thread

[niko_cee]

There's probably a case for a Shankar call-up here.

[Ian]

He'd FLAY Henry all over the counties.

[Ian]

https://wisden.com/stories/exclusive/the-adrian-shankar-files/the-adrian-shankar-files-part-seven-letting-go-of-cricket-and-moving-into-film

Part 7.

Probably the least interesting to me, but it's nice that Shankar has found a new industry to be a deluded charlatan in.

[niko_cee]

Weather looks well set for this test championship. 6 days of rain.

[Ian]

:drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon they'll get between 3 and 4 days in, hopefully that's enough for India to win so that the format survives.

[niko_cee]

More likely it'll be swinging all over the shop and this will be the end of all test cricket forever.

[niko_cee]

Also, I did sort of lol a bit at them only letting in 3000 fans to watch, despite having the Hollies stand rammed last week. Is it because they want to maintain some sort of massive bio-bubble over the whole complex (I guess that's why they've gone to the ground with a hotel attached to it)?

[hfswjyr]

What's the weather in London like? Can we go back to Lords?

[niko_cee]

Weather in the south/south east of England today is APOCALYPTIC. No play today.

Could probably tour it round the country day by day to try and find the dry spot. I think the north west is ok today.

[Ian]

It's nice up here today.

And Glasgow is empty of sports drinkers because they're all waving their sporrans about in Hyde Park so this (https://www.google.com/maps/place/West+Of+Scotland+Cricket+Club/@55.872836,-4.3103498,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1sAF1QipMYWTd93df5HZ36zsLs9hlIr2 KszaeG6_DsIoDf!2e10!3e12!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleu sercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipMYWTd93df5HZ36zsLs9hlIr 2KszaeG6_DsIoDf%3Dw129-h86-k-no!7i6000!8i4000!4m5!3m4!1s0x488845c2d84114f3:0x98 0848aad0925068!8m2!3d55.8728796!4d-4.3099771) seems a perfect venue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When Scotland play their first Test match (which I reckon will probably happen before 2030), the Grange will be a great venue. Finding cricket grounds in Scotland is great, like finding a proper cup of tea in America.

[Ian]

So what happens if this test championship final doesn't get enough time to finish even with the reserve/6th day?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Trophy shared (shame as I was hoping it would go on first innings which is likely to be NZ).

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/jun/20/analysis-is-about-making-the-invisible-visible


Nathan Leamon laughs as he remembers the time he once got Andrew Strauss out in an Ashes Test. It was the Adelaide Test of 2010-11, and ahead of the game the Australians had recalled the left-armer Doug Bollinger to their attack. Not having faced Bollinger in a while, Strauss asked Leamon – still relatively new in his job as the team’s analyst – to put together some clips.

“But the last time Bollinger had played was actually at Headingley against Pakistan,” Leamon recalls. “So Straussy watches 20 balls of Bollinger hooping the ball away from the bat, and walks out. First ball went absolutely gun-barrel straight. He left it. And it took his off-bail. He walked back in, took his pads off, sat down next to me. Eventually I worked up the nerve to say: ‘Sorry, think I might have got you out there, skip’. He said: ‘I wouldn’t disagree.’”

:D

[hfswjyr]

Trophy shared (shame as I was hoping it would go on first innings which is likely to be NZ).

Our golden generation are going to make it to three finals in a row, and lose two (read: one), draw one (read: two), and win none. Rough.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They deserve it for the ongoing national bottle job that happens as soon as they enter Australia.

[niko_cee]

First innings lead looking a bit sketchy, if they can just stay out there today I think tomorrow is supposed to be ok so a result still very much possible.

Definite advert for reserve days for tests in England (although obviously the sports science scheduling twats would have a fit at the prospect)

[Ian]

Or just accepting that it's possible to start making up time before you've been served elevenses.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is nothing more cricket than the phrase: 'Tea will be taken early'.

[Ian]

I also always love it when it's raining all morning, starts to brighten up about 1, groundsmen give it the thumbs up and, "Well, just as soon as the players have had lunch..."

[Jimmy Floyd]

They love a half hour resumption followed by a 40 minute lunch break, and then the players resume for the afternoon, no doubt groaning after their roast lamb and apple crumble, only for it to start pissing it down again.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, whatever happened to starting half an hour early to make up lost time? Did the players' union kick up a fuss about TOO MUCH CRICKET or something? Ground safety?

[Ian]

"What do you want us to do? Skip brunch? You've gone mad!"

[Jimmy Floyd]

Scenes are in progress here.

[Ian]

Neesham will be enjoying this given the chat he was having with India fans on Twitter earlier.

[Ian]

A bit tasty this, especially with a rare wrong decision from Gough being overturned to save Williamson.

I'm sure they'll be fine but it's been a fun start.

[Max Power]

Not sure about the Kiwis submerging themselves fully in the bunker. Might end up being a draw, imagine if it ends with then going off for bad light.

[Max Power]

3 boundaries since I posted that lol

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gavaskar in the box is starting to seethe, so it must be coming home.

[niko_cee]

I had no idea England were embarking on some sort of T20 escapade against Sri Lanka (neither did Sri Lanka by the looks of it) but I'm pleased to read in the dispatches of a middle order fireworks display from a certain D. Shanaka for the visitors. Question is, does he have film star looks?

[niko_cee]

Also, that England team would probably beat the current/NZ series test XI in red ball.

[Danny]

https://imgur.com/a/u5Wqx71

So good :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is he just doing a Panesar or is he trying to assault a child?

[Ian]

Yeah my take on that is that he's tried to slap a terrified-looking kid then realised he's on camera.

[Max Power]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/sofia-twenty20-2021-1267300/romania-vs-serbia-1st-semi-final-1267310/full-scorecard

Fairly comprehensive run chase that.

[igor_balis]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/sofia-twenty20-2021-1267300/romania-vs-serbia-1st-semi-final-1267310/full-scorecard

Fairly comprehensive run chase that.

The serbian XI possibly have the best collection of names I've ever seen in a sporting team. The first four especially read like names taken at random from a Wikipedia list of war criminals, of various different eras and conflicts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A man called Leslie Dunbar playing cricket for Serbia is right up there. Leslie.

Our old mate Pavel Florin actually in the national team and doing alright too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think this Sri Lanka regen XI are genuinely the most inept tourists here since maybe the Zimbabwe 2003 vintage.

They could be in real trouble for World Cup qualification in any of the formats.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kusal Mendis, Niroshan Dickwella and Danushka Gunathilaka have been banned for 1 year by Sri Lanka Cricket for breaching bio-bubble in UK.

:D

Must be the most draconian punishment in sporting history.

[Ian]

Jimmy's boy running through 'em here.

[niko_cee]

The second over was pretty special, burning through 2 reviews for those two dismissals, dear lord.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would not like to be Mickey Arthur. Absolute mess of a cricket team / country and he will be blamed.

Although nobody seems to notice it, these are World Cup qualifiers, you need a top 8 finish to qualify automatically. Sri Lanka have already lost 5/6 to West Indies and Bangladesh, and well on their way to getting swept here as well. They've also been docked 2 points for slow over rates, which is a good effort, and currently sitting 13th and last in the table. I can only imagine the bed shitting potential if they have to get past Scotland and co to actually make it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

England bubble has been breached and 3 players / 4 support staff positive (Pakistan series coming up). They have all gone into isolation and we are naming an entirely new squad today.

Could be one of the great baller moves if we win.

[Ian]

Some excellent names in the new squad. Brydon Carse sounds like a law firm. Phil Salt and Danny Briggs are not the names of people who are ever going to make it as England cricketers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This 'James Vince' sounds an intriguing prospect too.

[Ian]

With a name like Vince I assume he's the hard-nosed, gritty sort of batsman? Very difficult to get out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Away from our D team playing internationals, the Hundred is fast approaching and seemingly every day they seem to come up with a progressively more batshit mental press releases associated with it.

First there was this:


Further cementing the music credentials of The Hundred, a variety of live music acts courtesy of BBC Music Introducing will also be performing at games, with the likes of The Orielles, Jerub, Lady Sanity, Coach Party and Rachel K Collier bringing a real festival vibe to the competition.

I assume those are all real acts but who knows really. Then there was this:


The Hundred is excited to announce a new partnership with The Croods 2: A New Age, DreamWorks Animation’s latest family adventure blockbuster starring Emma Stone and Ryan Reynolds which arrives in cinemas July 16.

The partnership builds on The Hundred’s desire to take cricket to a family audience and inspire kids to pick up a bat and ball. Both brands will work together on several initiatives at games and in the cinema to excite families during what promises to be an unforgettable summer.

Today's edition, and it's a new partnership with Lego:


During The Hundred, the players themselves will be challenged to put their LEGO building skills to the test with the help of the content creators embedded in each Hundred team. The content creators are part of The Hundred Rising programme designed to uncover and support young talented professionals.

I'm really not sure how much more absurd this can go. I'm actually looking forward to it in a macabre sort of way. Covid will ravage it, too.

[Ian]

"the content creators embedded in each Hundred team." Christ.

The lower-than-they'd-like number of kids playing isn't because there aren't enough adverts before Dreamworks films or before Roblox guides on Youtube. It's partly because it's an elitist sport for poshos and Yorkshiremen, partly because it's barely on anywhere kids might encounter it and just generally the UK is a pretty bad for getting kids into sport unless it's a school, fancy or otherwise, with a setup for producing athletes/sportsmen of a particular discipline.

I went to three English schools before my A levels and other than the primary school in Coventry we had a visit from Andy Moles to do with a Kwik Cricket initiative (I believe I've shared my story of him giving me a yellow card) for a couple of weeks one term I barely had any exposure to cricket at all. Half a term leading into the summer at the private school I was at for a year and I reckon in the four years I did in a Lincolnshire grammar school after they must have had us play a total of about three hours of cricket in PE/games.

[Ian]

I've decided to cut through all the fluff and power rank the Hundred teams based on the most important thing of all: which snack they're sponsored by.

1 - Manchester - McCoys
2 - London - Tyrrell's
3 - Welsh - Hula Hoops
4 - Birmingham - Butterkist
5 - North(erns) - Popchips
6 - Trent - Skips
7 - South(erns) - Pom-Bears
8 - Oval Invincibles - KP

Personally I think if The Hundred is to flourish they need to get a better variety of snack sponsors. Having them solely sponsored by KP and each shirt having a different one of KP's brands is really restricting the competition's potential.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know there's a narrative of kids not playing cricket, but in the area I prowl (Surrey, which in cricket terms also includes most of south London) the numbers of both kids and adults are soaring, there are more teams and players than ever and the constraint is having enough time and grounds to accommodate them all. I've even seen stats to back this up.

Presumably in other region(s) this isn't the case. I still think a lot of it is driven by the failure of marketing people to understand that, in England, cricket is a game of the thousands of town and villages, not a game of the inner cities, where (they imagine) all the lovely commercial potential is.

Pom Bears will no doubt solve everything.

[Ian]

Pom-Bears and The Croods.

[hfswjyr]

Is The Hundred organised by The Onion?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Its website is one of the 'best' parts. Is this not just a honking eyesore? https://www.thehundred.com/

https://resources.ecb.co.uk/photo-resources/2021/03/11/d35cf375-a329-4091-b8de-989b1449e1ac/TH03_STARS-SHINE-No-DJ.jpg?width=1440

[hfswjyr]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/county-championship-2021-1244186/hampshire-vs-surrey-group-2-1244294/full-scorecard

So many questions from a NZ fan. How did CdG do that? Why did Jamieson not bowl more overs? What happened in Surrey's first innings? Why was there not a 5th day?

[Ian]

I'd forgotten all about Felix Organ. What a name.

[Jimmy Floyd]

County games are 4 days, Kyle Jamieson was injured, Surrey are absolutely dismal but also have Hashim Amla.

I umpired Felix Organ in a game last year. Probably the 'biggest' name I've stood to bowl at my end so far. He was bang into it and a bit odd. I was also told some, ahem, interesting stories about him and his organ. You really do get all sorts in cricket.

[Ian]

How interesting are we talking?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, anything goes these days, so I guess not that interesting. Not as interesting as the one I heard about Sam Curran chopping his way through the England women's team, anyway.

[niko_cee]

Is Fakhar the guy who went berserk against South Africa recently?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yep. And in the Champions Trophy final against India, memorably. Probably the loosest/streakiest batsman going.

[niko_cee]

These ODIs have been an absolute disgrace so far this summer.

How have we just thrown a scratch B team out there and wiped the floor with Pakistan?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Classic Pakistan. If we'd had our full strength team they'd have smashed us.

[hfswjyr]

From memory Fakhar has the strangest batting stance I've ever seen in person.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Are you thinking of Fawad Alam.

https://images.indianexpress.com/2020/08/Untitled-design-17-1.jpg

[hfswjyr]

That's the one. Who coaches that stance?

[Danny]

Craig McMillian and Shiv Chanderpaul bastard child.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hundred latest: umpires will not say 'over' but instead say 'five' and hold up a white card.

New audience etc etc.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/57822755

Lovely stuff.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, just bowl that every ball.

Should have had him in the first over but neglected to DRS it.

[Ian]

Who the fuck is "John Simpson"?

[niko_cee]

Integral part of England Thirds (who Alex Hales still can't get a game for, pure banter from The King of Spain and co at this point).

[Ian]

Also James Vince has clearly forgotten he was supposed to be out 29 runs ago. Idiot. He can't even do that right.

[thommo]

James Vince finally gets his 100, wonderful stuff.

Gregory has played another great knock too, hope he can see this over the line.

Edit: :moop:

[niko_cee]

Well, that was pretty decent.

I say this with some reservation, but there can be few finer sights than a late afternoon cricket crowd in England in full flight. It seems a peculiarly British madness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Only Pakistan could score 330, somehow work into that a collapse of 7 for 39, and then lose thanks to a marauding James Vince. Only Pakistan.

Ireland turned over South Africa at the same time which was pretty cool to see.

[Ian]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/the-hundred-2021-with-friends-like-these-a-hundred-reasons-why-the-ecb-has-failed-the-game-1269911

Good article about the Pom-Bear SuperBlast and the effect on county cricket and quite even handed.

EDIT:
t could yet work. Whether it's played over 100 overs, 100 balls or five days, cricket is a great game. Perhaps the increased broadcast exposure will counteract all these other factors. But make no mistake: the ECB has bet the farm on this competition. If it fails, it could set the sport back a generation

Even if he just means set it back a generation in this country is that hyperbolic or actually plausible?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I see Pakistan have picked some bloke the size of a house who can't field to save his life, how delightfully on-brand of them.

Mental and doomed chase in progress here.

[Ian]

He might have a name more suited to being an oafish Stoke City centre half but Liam Livingstone is giving this a good old go.

[Ian]

Also I've decided that Shaheen has a slightly odd-shaped mouth.

Keep watching this thread for more cutting insights like that one.

[Ian]

Next up: I know the sweat won't help but I'm rooting for Livingstone a little less now I've seen what's under his helmet.

[ScousePig]

You could have put money on him getting out the ball after his hundred.

I'm off to Headingley on Sunday.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Next up: I know the sweat won't help but I'm rooting for Livingstone a little less now I've seen what's under his helmet.

A few of them have that haircut after 'challenging' each other to do it on social media. Sportsmen must be some of the world's most bored, empty-headed people.

[Ian]

I actually don't care about the result that much, it's just nice to watch something with a lively crowd.

A bowler running in while the crowd are finishing the chorus to 'Hi Ho Silver Lining' after it's gone off the PA. What a scene.

[Ian]

The Proclaimers? At an England/Pakistan cricket match? Wat?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Had the golf and cars on earlier so only just noticed that the Professor himself is somehow still clinging on to his place in this Pakistan team. What a fucking trooper.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Proclaimers? At an England/Pakistan cricket match? Wat?

Presumably to celebrate Scotland getting the kinder end of the World T20 draw earlier today. Or not.

[Ian]

Ooh, I see they got the Desh. What are Oman and Papua New Guinea like? Both generally and relative to Scotland?

I have a soft spot for Papua New Guinea because I went to the Rugby 7s at the Commonwealth Games and they were great fun.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Scotland should beat them on paper. Only slight hitch is they have barely played during the pandemic, maybe even not at all. PNG are talented but raw. Oman are, well, shite, but playing at home. If Scotland play properly they will win. They have a football-esque record in major tournaments though (think they've never won a game, even) so prepare for disappointment.

EDIT: I'm wrong, they beat Hong Kong on duckworth lewis at the last one of these for their first and only tournament win.

[Clunge]

Hasnain chucks it. Have I missed a memo on this?

[Kikó]

I love how fat Azam Khan is and how that's cool in cricket.

[igor_balis]

Lammonby having a laugh here, salvaged Somerset's innings somewhat.

[igor_balis]

This is class

[Jimmy Floyd]

I love how fat Azam Khan is and how that's cool in cricket.

In certain countries (Pakistan, West Indies) it is. In England you'd get put on a low calorie diet and be made to do 400 hill runs up Great Malvern until you passed a skinfold test. It's symptomatic of why we traditionally win fuck all.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/57881770

The Rashid catch in the video at the top. :drool:

[Ian]

I see Washington Sundar is playing in the 'County Select XI' against India. Have they dropped him, then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

First game of the Hundred (women's) starting now, should be interesting.

Opening KP Snacks ad and titles are not promising. Do we think Ebony really says 'Wicked track'?

[Max Power]

The naff branding and attempts to get the kids involved with a DJ and savoury snacks is whatever, it still baffles me why they didn’t just do this but with a t20 league?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Interesting phenomenon as I flick between BBC and Sky. On Sky it's fine. On the Beeb it's unwatchable.

[niko_cee]

I see Hameed got a ton for the county all star select XI.

[niko_cee]

These 40mph floaters really are asking to be run down the pitch at, and yet every shot is off the back foot, or at best off the crease with a flat bat.

[Ian]

I see Hameed got a ton for the county all star select XI.

:cool:


Interesting phenomenon as I flick between BBC and Sky. On Sky it's fine. On the Beeb it's unwatchable.

How so?

[niko_cee]

OK, so I guess that's why they don;t move their feet much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How so?

Sky are talking about cricket, Beeb are bantering about Greg James being locked in a caravan. And they all keep talking over each other.

[niko_cee]

They need to get a Kool Aid meme/sponsor thing going with the OH YEAHs.

[Dquincy]

Not sure about this new Hundred format. Watching it at the moment. It just seems a shit version of T20. No finesse required, just swing as hard as you can.

[niko_cee]

Haven't you just described T20 by and large?

The commentators must have had a hefty amount of training to not mention overs and the like, it's almost second nature to think of 12 balls left as being 2 overs to go BUT NO!

[Dquincy]

Fair point. But it just seems a poorer version. Everything is so rushed. And don't get me started on the graphics. Reminds me of FM in recent years.

[niko_cee]

I take it back, the style book has gone out of the window and they're going on about overs all the time (when referring to 'sets of five').

[Gray Fox]

Someone was just bowled out by a full toss. It hit the top of the stumps, but was called back as it arrived at the crease just above waist high. What's that all about?

[niko_cee]

No ball if it passes the batsman above waist height (on the crease?), although that'd have to be some serious dip to then hit the stumps.

[Gray Fox]

See I assumed as it's hit the stumps it's fine. It was a fast bowler and not a spinner too.

[niko_cee]

Was the batsman too short for international cricket?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The law is 'above waist height at the popping crease'. Doesn't matter what happens after that. The definition of waist seems to change most years. There was a brief period when you wanted to wear trousers right down with your arse hanging out for maximum effect.

[Luke Emia]

I’ve watched a bit of the hundred the past few days. It’s ok but really it’s just T20 at the end of the day. Bearing in mind that concept started over here nearly 20 years ago and they had a decent head start on everyone else the ECB really did fuck the potential of that.

[niko_cee]

I've actually quite liked the hundred so far and for all the wankery surrounding it am coming round to the idea that it might be a good thing. Maybe mostly as it has terrestrial coverage.

T20 is absolute guff so I don't see why it needs to be the gold standard.

[Luke Emia]

I’ve never been interested in T20 save the very occasional England game so to watch two whole games of the 100 has been a bit of an eye opener.

Even my missus who despite us having been together for 7 years only has the very passing notion of who Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson are despite being forced to watch quite a bit of test cricket said she would potentially be interested in seeing a game. Even more so when I told her for what I could see the tickets were only 25 quid.

[niko_cee]

Would be quite funny if the ashes gets put back a year (with the past 10 years or so having been spent getting it out of the world cup cycle).

[Queenslander]

2 in Brisbane 1 in Adelaide 1 in Perth 1 in Hobart

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surely the Australians can't bosh a 'home Test summer' [/Bill Lawry voice]

[Queenslander]

I had to look up bosh.

[Queenslander]

Empty talk is appropriate with this current era of Australian Cricket

[Gray Fox]

They’ve thrown a fit and refused the Rugby so we should return the compliment.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We should pull out as we're afraid of there being outbreaks in such a low-vaccination environment.

Then we should sent the Royal Navy round and shell Sydney.

[Queenslander]

To he fair it is the league clubs driving the Kangaroos boycott the Wallabies will tour Europe at the end to play a bunch of Union Tests.

[Shindig]

We should pull out as we're afraid of there being outbreaks in such a low-vaccination environment.

Then we should sent the Royal Navy round and shell Sydney.

With needles, I hope.

[Queenslander]

I'm all for the shelling of Sydney btw.

[Gray Fox]

Stokes to take an indefinite break from all cricket.

Something else happened in New Zealand?

[Jimmy Floyd]

No, seems he just needs a break after that and all the bollocks in bubbles etc.

It's pretty impressive how few breaks players have on current schedules tbh. Back in the day people used to miss whole tours fairly often and those (while the tours were long) were physically at least less demanding times.

[Luke Emia]

He’s had a shit time of things in the last year as well with his dad. Doesn’t strike me as someone you would think would have mental health issues just because of how mentally strong he has been when playing for England.

[Max Power]

Think we’ve underestimated how shit “bubble life” has been for these guys. Especially those who’ve played basically non stop like Stokes.

Half an eye on recharging and spending time with friends and family before the Ashes Tour

[Danny]

Ben Stokes hates THE HUNDRED. Confirmed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A covid away Ashes, over Christmas, with no/limited family in the bubble and no travelling support, is going to be murder. 5 absolute hammerings to nil.

[niko_cee]

I'm not normally one of for the men/women clarification on sports teams, but I'm quite sold on Southern Brave Men, although I did read the other team as Phoenix Burning Man.

[thommo]

Feel like we should just sack off the Ashes tour. Didn't they do the same for the rugby league? Plus the cricket board cancelled their overseas tour of South Africa, so fuck them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Actually quite enjoying the Hundred, after lolling at it for months. Lots of it is pap and I could do without KP screeching through games but it's succeeded in taking 2 important things seriously:

1. Over rates
2. Women's cricket

[Queenslander]

Feel like we should just sack off the Ashes tour. Didn't they do the same for the rugby league? Plus the cricket board cancelled their overseas tour of South Africa, so fuck them.

Players want to go to the League World cup it is the club's that are against it. The Wallabies will be in the UK at the end of the year the Cricket team are currently in Bangladesh they were just in the West Indies.

Fuck South Africa at the time it was too dangerous.

[Ian]

2. Women's cricker

Yeah I haven't watched any so I can only go on what's on the BBC pages but they do seem to be giving the womens games the same coverage which is good.

[Max Power]

Actually quite enjoying the Hundred, after lolling at it for months. Lots of it is pap and I could do without KP screeching through games but it's succeeded in taking 2 important things seriously:

1. Over rates
2. Women's cricker
But again, could they not have done this with a “franchise” T20 comp? Creating a whole extraneous thing feels very, if nothing else, Allen Stanford?

[Queenslander]

I don't see any reason why the families couldn't tour with the Test team. Even if they base themselves in one of the dozen resorts in Queensland that have been used as hubs for the families of AFL and NRL teams during covid.

[Jimmy Floyd]

But again, could they not have done this with a “franchise” T20 comp? Creating a whole extraneous thing feels very, if nothing else, Allen Stanford?

Probably but if that's what it took to get it on the Beeb, then so be it.

I would have liked to see a few of the women's games in the 'prime time' slots as well.

[Queenslander]

So we might be down to Western Australia, Tasmania and the Northern Territory maybe South Australia if they throw up a wall between them and Victoria/NSW/QLD

[Jimmy Floyd]

Five Tests in Hobart we will win 4-1, Woakes MoS.

[Queenslander]

Green top series. :drool:

[Ian]

All I really care about for away Ashes is the ability to play the 'Is this the same innings?" game from going to bed and getting up.

It's all about going to bed with somebody called Shane or Mitchell at the crease, getting 7 hours later with him still there and wondering whether we've got them out, collapsed and they're back in again or if we've been stood quietly baking in the sun for hours entirely unable to make any headway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Its close cousin is the 'Michael Carberry game' in which if you go to sleep for 6 hours and Michael Carberry is still batting, you have to work out whether or not he's on 100*, or we're following on (it's the latter).

[Luke Emia]

All I really care about for away Ashes is the ability to play the 'Is this the same innings?" game from going to bed and getting up.

I've had some belting games of that down the years. Australia first innings of something like 596-6 declared. I watch the first hour or so and we are 50-1 thinking this is going ok. Wake up six hours later and we are 52-2. 'Oh it's been raining for the last 6 hours and we have lost a wicket.' Then the dreaded realisation sets in.

[Ian]

It's good when you think you've come back to a later part of the same shaky England innings but it is in fact a slightly later collapse in the second.

With Australia having rattled off a breezy 250 to give us something to chase in the meantime, of course.

[Ian]

I didn't realise we probably weren't going to have Archer for the India series. Feels like ages since I've seen him play.

[Ian]

The way Sky present the score, etc. for the Hundred is hateful.

[Luke Emia]

The way Sky present the score, etc. for the Hundred is hateful.

I assumed that was set by the ECB. I haven’t watched any of the Beeb coverage so I have nothing for comparison.

[Ian]

It's the first time I'd actually put a game on and it was vile. Even as something to stick on in the background I'm not having that. Awful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the ECB overlay. Once again they've run cricket through the focus groups and found that women 'don't know who's winning', so have gone big on stating who's 'winning', rather than what the score is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A Test series has rather snuck up on us (me?) today and the even better news is that it looks like Jonny Bairstow has earned a recall.

[Ian]

I missed that Bairstow was back in the squad. I look forward to his flummoxed expression that any umpire could possibly believes that he, the great Jonny Bairstow, could be out plumb LBW.

[Luke Emia]

I missed that Bairstow was back in the squad. I look forward to his flummoxed expression that any umpire could possibly believes that he, the great Jonny Bairstow, could be out plumb LBW.

I thought that he was just going to be designated drinks carrier.

[Ian]

I just assumed they were going to be rotating people again like the last series or is that out the window?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think they're more or less throwing shit at a wall and hoping for the best at the moment. Don't think the ECB top brass have any interest at all in success of the Test team and haven't had for a while.

[Ian]

Could we regain their interest if each test team was, say, sponsored by products from an energy drink brand?

Australia could have Monster Ripper (https://www.monsterenergy.com/gb/en/products/juiced-monster/ripper), England would have Monarch (https://www.monsterenergy.com/gb/en/products/juiced-monster/monarch), of course.

[Ian]

Aaaaand Bairstow plays at 5. No spinner either so I look forward to the pitch disintegrating tomorrow.

Nice to see Sam Curran in though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They've left out trashwin and our batting lineup absolutely stinks. Should be a classic.

[Ian]

Yeah I have zero faith in our batting.

Like, there are things I like about a few of them on an individual level but as a collective they just reek of a collapse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's basically Root + hope, and the hope is somewhere between Shai and none.

Their bowling lineup looks fairly bobbins as well so look forward to us being 48/7 at lunch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, start as you mean to go on, I suppose.

[Ian]

https://media1.tenor.com/images/06a1936a6862bfcd729f8b8aee63ca9e/tenor.gif?itemid=16272014

[Ian]

I wonder if we're planning to get a run at some point.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Nottingham crowd are a bit quiet at the moment. There's a fella wearing a jester's hat and staring into his pint.

A rare example of pure poetry on the BBC live text.

[Ian]

Still, at least Ed Smith's keeping himself active.

[Gray Fox]

I missed that Bairstow was back in the squad. I look forward to his flummoxed expression that any umpire could possibly believes that he, the great Jonny Bairstow, could be out plumb LBW.

https://storify.com/services/proxy/2/Zk_UG6A1GmUtV25jUC2-lQ/https/media.fyre.co/bWx8ixcBRyiNyztfBlIM_image%20-%202021-08-04T154507.033.jpg

Almost poetry.

[Ian]

I'd missed his wicket.

Did he look absolutely disgusted when calling for the review?

[thommo]

It was given not out on the field. I thought it was too high initially in fairness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This England team is DREADFUL.

[Luke Emia]

It's going to be a massacre if we end up going down under. How long can Silverwood last as well? The form has been awful since he took over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As long as they keep picking these maniacally shit batsmen they will get pumped. Sibley, Crawley, Bairstow, Buttler and maybe Lawrence (though I do like him) should all be nowhere near the team, and yet I've basically just named the whole side.

[Max Power]

Something tragically funny about Dom Sibley getting out to the only shot he actually has in his book.

[Ian]

Is it harsh to say Dan Lawrence is just James Vince but with a slightly better batting average? He seems proper piss and wind.

[Cord]

Dare I suggest it's all been downhill since we dispensed with Denly?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's the opposite to James Vince stylistically, but I think like almost all of our batting lineup, his strong leg side preference gets found out by the likes of Shami who can actually set people up.

Root is the only one who bats properly / not like a crazed loon or lost child or both.

[Luke Emia]

One of the other issues we have is that Root is not captain material. Unfortunately there is no one else to take over from him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He does the statesman stuff really well. On field, pretty useless.

[Ian]

Not much happening here. Couple of decent balls but India presumably will be very happy to just keep things ticking over given the state of the target we gave them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Weather should save us if they don't get us batting again soonish. 0-0 to the ingerlund.

[Ian]

Is it Dinesh Karthik Sky have got in doing punditry/analysis? I quite like him.

[niko_cee]

Weather should save us if they don't get us batting again soonish. 0-0 to the ingerlund.

It'd be so funny to see them declare their first innings on a gambit to roll us again and sneak a win before the weather intervenes.

[Ian]

Archer definitely missing the World T20 and the Ashes then? Great.

[thommo]

Jimmy really is incredible. Miserly old sod, wrap him up in cotton wool until he's 50. Buttler almost misjudged that too.

[Ian]

This is a bit more like it. if they could chuck a few more away that'd be very decent of them.

[niko_cee]

Would it Ian?

Have you thought this through?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The last thing we need now is wickets. Kettleborough and Gough doing their bit for queen and country here.

[Ian]

We're going to win, you cowards. It'll all definitely be fine.

[Queenslander]

Banga's getting two wins in a row against us must be a first?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mainly because you usually refuse to play them.

[Queenslander]

Do England tour Bangladesh often?

Wiki tells me your tour was rescheduled because the players committing to the IPL.


"English cricket team in Bangladesh in 2022–23 - Wikipedia" https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_cricket_team_in_Bangladesh_in_2022%E2%80%9 323

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Bangles rescheduled it under pressure from India.

[Ian]

The Desh. :cool:

[Queenslander]

The Bangles rescheduled it under pressure from India.

Makes sense.

I got nothing else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We don't play them nearly enough either, but Bangladesh haven't played a Test in Australia for 18 years, and haven't toured there in any format for 13 years.

[Queenslander]

18 years is embarrassing for Cricket Australia.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You are playing a one off Test vs Afghanistan at Hobart in November though, so hearty claps on the back and an Aussie pie each for the board, at least until they cancel it again.

[Queenslander]

Tasmania is a very safe bet to host cricket ATM.

[Ian]

Thrilling day of cricket, that.

[Ian]

There was a time when we probably wouldn't have insta-burned that review if the wicketkeeper had seen that there wasn't any contact regardless of the noise. I think Root got a bit too excited there though I've no idea what the noise was.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Buttler had seen the gap, Root and co are just pillocks.

[Ian]

Yeah that's what I mean, we always used to do the chat between wicketkeeper, bowler and captain to make sure none of them had seen anything which would definitely have ruled it out.

[Ian]

All these drops are good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

An 80/90 run lead or whatever this ends up being is the worst of all worlds. Game moves on and we're six down by the close.

[Ian]

Ah good we're at the "getting slogged by a tailender who had to be reminded which end of the bat to hold" stage of the innings.

[Queenslander]

Banga's with their first series win against Australia is good news. :cool:

[Ian]

That took longer than I expected.

[Ian]

Crawley only appears to have about one good innings out of every five or six.

Does he need more time in the team, time away from the team to work on his game or is he just another who's going to constantly edge to slip / waft at some shite to get out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The sages all say he will come good, but I am less convinced. Picked about 2/3 years too early.

[Giggles]

What is “The Hundred”? It seems to be on constantly on Sky.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a crap and needless version of T20 that English cricket has dreamed up.

[Ian]

Have you watched much of it, Jim?

[Giggles]

It’s seems to have been on for weeks. Sometimes it’s men and sometimes it’s women. Is the Hundred a format or a place?

[phonics]

The graphics are absolutely horrendous for TV. I presume there's a way to watch it on a phone? Otherwise it's awful design.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Have you watched much of it, Jim?

Bits. It has moments of entertainment in the same way that T20 does. Overall though I am not sure how/why I am supposed to care about any of the teams or how they do. It's a facile thing trying to solve a problem I'm not sure exists.

Its main benefit is more prominence for the women's game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The graphics are absolutely horrendous for TV. I presume there's a way to watch it on a phone? Otherwise it's awful design.

The graphics have been focus grouped to fuck. They seem to have boiled cricket's apparent lack of popularity (it's actually the number 2 most popular sport behind football, but whatever) down to 'Women can't tell who's winning', so instead of the score they have MASSIVE side bars showing the state of play. I went to a few ECB things a couple of years ago and everything they did was about activating mums and getting Holly Willoughby on board as amabassador (she has thus far resisted their charming approaches it would seem).

[phonics]

The graphics have been focus grouped to fuck. They seem to have boiled cricket's apparent lack of popularity (it's actually the number 2 most popular sport behind football, but whatever) down to 'Women can't tell who's winning', so instead of the score they have MASSIVE side bars showing the state of play. I went to a few ECB things a couple of years ago and everything they did was about activating mums and getting Holly Willoughby on board as amabassador (she has thus far resisted their charming approaches it would seem).

This is my point, from a design persepctive, on TV they're way too big and awful but would be easily readable on a phone.

[Gray Fox]

The action itself hasn't been too bad.

However the commentators trying to convince me that the home crowd are really getting behind the Welsh Fire today, only to cut to a third full ground of people who clearly dont care who is winning, or even playing.

[Ian]

The graphics have been focus grouped to fuck. They seem to have boiled cricket's apparent lack of popularity (it's actually the number 2 most popular sport behind football, but whatever) down to 'Women can't tell who's winning', so instead of the score they have MASSIVE side bars showing the state of play. I went to a few ECB things a couple of years ago and everything they did was about activating mums and getting Holly Willoughby on board as amabassador (she has thus far resisted their charming approaches it would seem).

Does she make the stuffy men of the ECB a bit hot under the collar?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know, but the obsession with getting her in particular on board I found quite weird. Apparently she is the most respected public figure among 'mums'.

[Ian]

Nah, it's the tits and teeth of somebody who might be part horse.

[Ian]

Moeen back in the squad. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not sure he solves the problem but fuck it, let's run with it. Might be my favourite cricketer.

[Ian]

Oh yeah I doubt he significantly improves any of our issues I just love a bit of Mo.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Broad out and Anderson a doubt. We might get rogered, you know.

[Ian]

Christ. Assuming we're going at least three seamers again who would that give us? Robinson, Curran... I see they've called up Mahmood, would he be going straight into the side if Anderson and Broad are both out? Is he any good?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would have Mahmood over several of those already in the squad. He's really good.

[Ian]

I like Robinson too. Will we go for a spinner seeing as we've called up Mo? Robinson, Mahmood, Curran, Mo? I assume they'd have one of the latter two further down and maybe stick Overton in.

Unrelated but I've watched the first couple of episodes of The Fletcher Years that Sky did. I didn't realise Hussein had voluntarily stepped down as captain. Or that's how it showed it anyway, not sure if the writing was on the wall for him.

I did like though that where it was showing us getting better test series results under Fletcher in the early 2000s it showed some clips of wins in Pakistan, etc. but even then it was us chasing down whatever target at like 175-7 or something. :D Always tease the collapse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This might be more for the betting thread, but I have officially put a chunk on India this morning. India to win this Test, to win the series, to win 3-0 and to win 4-0, all are better than evens and all have received heavy investment from me.

[Ian]

Paddypower's bets include one for the number of runs Hameed gets. Is he playing??

EDIT: Okay nevermind, it's one where it's odds given on request and it's for Hameed, Root and Rahul to get 150+ combined runs which probably happens whether you list Hameed or not.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hameed seems to be in for Crawley, yes.

[Ian]

At 3. Interesting..... does he play there for his county? I thought he'd basically always been an opener?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He has, but why bat someone where they bat for their county when you can bat them somewhere else.

[Ian]

Well, I mean that's an excellent point.

[Max Power]

How could we break up such an imperious and impenetrable opening partnership though?

[niko_cee]

England have probably been a bit unlucky so far today, but picking a spinner, winning the toss, choosing to bowl and them being 46-0 after 20 overs doesn't bode well.

Sunshine's finally hit on the south coast too so it'll probably be up in London within the hour.

[niko_cee]

Can probably upgrade that to very unlucky seeing Robinson beat the bat for the umpteenth time today but it's looking a bit grim now.

[Ian]

Yeah, we need something to happen pronto.

I've just discovered that Rohit's childhood cricket coach was called "Dinesh Lad" which pleases me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Broad
Woakes
Archer
Stone

All injured. Add in that we can't bat, and we have basically no chance. Should be several thrashings on the trot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, we need something to happen pronto.

I've just discovered that Rohit's childhood cricket coach was called "Dinesh Lad" which pleases me.

Siddhesh Lad and Sachin Baby definitely my two favourite Indian cricketers.

[Ian]

He really needs to insist that is written as 'Sachin, Baby!' every time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This thing we do trying to make the umpires change the ball due to it being out of shape, when we're not taking wickets with it, is probably the most pathetic 'tactic' going around.

[Ian]

In the decade between 2011 and the start of 2021, no Indian opening pair had survived more than 20 overs in a Test outside Asia. Since the turn of the year they have done it five times in nine matches.

Interesting stat from Liew's latest. (https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2021/aug/12/rohit-sharma-reaps-reward-of-indias-smart-planning-over-englands-chaos)

EDIT:

Clearly having strong white‑ball players in the Test side isn’t the problem: Sharma and Rahul both have Twenty20 centuries to their name and can destroy an attack in minutes. Clearly a lack of domestic red-ball preparation isn’t the problem: Sharma hasn’t played a Ranji Trophy game since 2015. What India have displayed in recent months – and what England have not – is the self-confidence and mental stamina to hone and develop a strategy, and to stick to it when the going gets rough.

That only comes with time: time not just to practise and to acclimatise, but to think. Perhaps it is no coincidence that India arrived in this country more than two months ago, and have largely worked out a method in English conditions. Mentally, Sharma has been hitting red balls since early June. Moeen Ali has been hitting red balls since Tuesday.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Think he's absolutely spot on with that. This series is an afterthought for us and ECB have basically admitted as much. Every time Silverwood gets asked about it he always starts referring to 'Ashes preparation', as if playing five home Tests against a clearly better team than Australia is just a trifling irrelevance.

India, on the other hand, have prepared better than any tourists for some years. I think having two wise old birds in Shastri and Dravid running things has gone a long way for them. Long gone are the shambolic days when Dhoni would bring Test teams over here and not give a shit.

[Ian]

Is getting fucked x-0 in this series going to be considered excellent preparation then?

Also the stuff about Sharma's positioning reminds me of Gooch talking about the same thing:

Did you see Gooch talking about this on the Debate the other day? Talking about batsmen positioning themselves so their eyeline is just outside off for the sake of "positivity" but it also means they don't actually know where their stumps are and encourages them to chase any old wide filth that gets flung down.

Obviously Rohit was moving toward his off-stump from leg not past it from what Liew says there rather than having the issue of being too far out but it's the same principle and I find it interesting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think the difference is that when he bats in India, he can take a more Sehwag-style approach of being dead still and just waiting to react to wherever the ball is and hit it, whereas over here because of the late movement he has to be far more disciplined about the position he gets into vis a vis off stump.

That's slightly different to what Jason Roy or someone would do in terms of setting up past off stump to open up more scoring areas on the leg side (and chasing wide filth). That basically disqualifies Roy from opening in red ball cricket, which is why we made the genius move of opening him in a home Ashes. But I'm far from a batting technique expert tbh.

Similarly Sehwag never did anything really over here, because he didn't compromise on his technique in the way Rohit has, and he was never really able to deal with lateral movement.

[Luke Emia]

That was a proper day's test batting from India yesterday and something England could learn a great deal from. I know they are a better team than us and we have injuries but they went about the day in the right way. The question I was asking myself is in that weather what would England have been at the end of play yesterday? Probably at best maybe 200-5.

[Ian]

Yeah we'd have found a way to fuck it.

I think Burns is just inconsistent. With Sibley he has the patience but it doesn't actually seem to lead to anything, whether it's that he can't consistently turn what he's seeing into figuring out how to start to get "in" or whether he just doesn't have the range of shots or something.

It reminds me a bit of poor old Michael Carberry in that hideous Ashes tour where he was clearly valuing his wicket but it didn't actually lead to anything and he'd get out for 7 off 70 balls or something.