The Cricket Thread

[Waffdon]

Alli saved the day. He kickstarted everything after it all went a bit stale when Stokes was too busy just making sure he got his moment at the end.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nope. Stokes paced it like a champion. We were always winning as long as he was still there. Had a bit of luck, especially when they should have run him out from close range, but from the moment he came to the crease his partner always had licence.

[Max Power]

Indian cricket twitter new asterisk is that Shaheen was injured so it doesn’t count. Love it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They couldn't really win today, bless their cotton socks. After we beat them the other day there was a lot of 'Yeah but we have a higher GDP' going around, which is a new one. Not per capita, obvs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/vijay-hazare-trophy-2022-23-1332914/arunachal-pradesh-vs-tamil-nadu-elite-group-c-1333156/full-scorecard

Questions surely have to be asked about whether Arunachal Pradesh truly belong in 'Elite Group C'.

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/63726442

You love to see it.

[Queenslander]

He's such an aggro dickhead who would want him anywhere near their dressing room?

[thommo]

Rehan Ahmed added to the Test squad for the Pakistan series. Got to be good for his development.

[Ben]

For some reason the Test team are playing the Lions in Abu Dhabi. The 1st XI teed off, hitting 500 in under 80 overs. Ahmed got severe punishment especially so you wouldn't think he'd get a go in Pakistan, just there for experience.

Hameed playing Anderson and Robinson off his piece in reply as well.

[Ben]

I hope this warm-up game isn't indicative of the upcoming series. A spin trio of Leach, Livingstone and Jacks fills me with dread.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's Bazball. Who needs spin when you can just smash 500 and bowl them out with ease.

[Waffdon]

Zak Crawley still going strong.

That line up looks 1 bowler short - relying on Ben Stokes bowling 20 overs a day seems a stretch

[Jimmy Floyd]

Livingstone as the second spinner and batting 8 in Test cricket is absolutely barmy, but who am I to doubt Bazball.

Looking forward to catching some Naseem and Haris Rauf early in the mornings.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/cricket/2022/11/30/england-squad-hit-virus-pakistan-eve-first-test/

Everything in this is gold, but this paragraph is one of the most magnificent things ever written on English cricket:


Rob Key, the England team director and Neil Snowball, the ECB’s managing director of county cricket, are holding talks with Ramiz Raja, the chairman of the PCB. about potentially putting back the start of the game after it emerged on Wednesday that more than half of the squad are ill, despite bringing their own chef on tour, who is also one of those feeling sick.

[Ian]

:D

[Danny]

Rapid start from Crawley. Must need the toilet.

[Max Power]

Waking up and enjoying a Tapal Tea moment toasting this partnership.

[Ben]

Tapal Tea :cool:

I unapologetically love cricket in Pakistan, even though it's pretty Mickey Mouse a lot of the time.

[Ben]

It's Haris Rauf's Test debut? :cab:

We will definitely need the depth of Livingstone at 8 here. Even if we get 1000, Pakistan will get more than us. Our bowling looks pretty toothless for these conditions.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What a bizarre scorecard to wake up to. Are they playing indoors?

[Ben]

This might be the flattest pitch I've ever seen.

[Ben]

200-0 in 30 overs. What is this?

[Jimmy Floyd]

You say our attack's no good, and maybe it isn't, but if you score this quickly you have twice as long to bowl them out. It's mental.

[niko_cee]

What a bizarre scorecard to wake up to. Are they playing indoors?

:D

Thought the same.

[Ben]

Was it meant to be Keaton Jennings replacing Lees and he got ill, or is Duckett now the man? Which seems an odd choice for home cricket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On the radio Aggers (or some sub-Aggers drone) said that Foakes was the only change with Jacks coming in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

"Attacking cricket is most welcome. But going hell for leather in test cricket is just hiding the fact that England cannot play time. This will not always work and to see an international team taking this route is not welcome! It's a game played over 5 days. No point getting all out for 350 in 60 overs on a flat wicket."

Some early Indian seethe writing in to crcinfo. You can almost taste the fear.

[thommo]

I saw that. :drool:

Any danger of Pakistan preparing something different for the other 2 Tests? Seems like 0-0 all over barring some major deterioration.

[Ben]

It's going to be a long series for those Indian fans.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For the real gold you have to read the comments on other games, in this case Aus v WI.


Shankar: "Working in office. Wanted a flavour of an actual test match and not Bazball and hence shifted from Pak vs Eng to this tab. Proper testmatch with run rate of just about 3 per over. Also wanted to say hello to Jr. Chanderpaul."

[Ben]

Let's take a look at India's most recent outing against Sri Lanka.

1st Test won by an innings in three days. In their only innings they knocked up 574 @ 4.5 rpo. Pant out slogging in the 90's with a strike rate of 100.
2nd Test skittled for 252 trying to get on with it, again @ 4.5 rpo. Iyer (four sixes) out in the 90's slogging with a strike rate of 100. Second innings 300 declared again @ 4.5 rpo. Pant with a 30-ball 50. Again won in three days.

Salty cunts can't even see the wood for the trees.

[hfswjyr]

Are you sure you're not being trolled by these comments? It's hard to tell really.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, it must be said, the Indians really do have Ben and Jimmy on strings it seems.

[Ben]

You've never met Indian cricket fans have you? Life and death for them.

[Waffdon]

Sound bunch of lads. Pure passion and nothing else

[Jimmy Floyd]

Indians are incapable of trolling. Wright Thompson (the great US sports writer) once did a piece on Indian cricket and described them as a 'pre-ironic society'. Always struck me as a particularly perceptive comment. http://www.espn.com/espn/eticket/story?page=110329/cricket


India still believes in the simple beauty of success.

Irony and cynicism come next.

"Irony requires a certain amount of self-confidence," Lydia says. "You have to have built enough of an identity to turn around and reject it, or to laugh at it. I think that's something that takes time."

[Ben]

Harry Brook is an absolute joy to watch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure the comms have mentioned it but the 120 year old record for fastest England hundred could go here.

[thommo]

Needs a 6 next ball to do it outright.

[thommo]

And Jessop stays top of the pile.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nope, Jessop lives, for another few hours at least.

It would be the most mental record in cricket/sport if it wasn't for the even more mental Bannerman one.

[thommo]

The brilliance of the Bannerman one is the fact it was the first ever Test.

Also, in isolation, 67.34% doesn't seem like a ridiculous percentage to have. But extrapolating it out to his 165* out of 245 and it seems fairly insurmountable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the fact that it was the first innings of the first Test, took place before Jack the Ripper had had his first danger wank, and has never been beaten since in the almost infinite number of Test innings scenarios.

[niko_cee]

Is that a record number of runs in a day? Also, 75 overs? Is that some sort of low over record for a full day of test cricket?

[Ben]

Zahid Mahmood got pasted for 160. That's got to be some sort of record, either for overs bowled (23) or runs conceded in a day.

[Ben]

Is that a record number of runs in a day? Also, 75 overs? Is that some sort of low over record for a full day of test cricket?

It's mental that they play in the middle of the winter in Pakistan. It was 4pm their time when it was getting dark.

[thommo]

Is that a record number of runs in a day? Also, 75 overs? Is that some sort of low over record for a full day of test cricket?

5th most for runs in a day. Although 3 of the top 4 occurred in the 20s and 30s when they were bowling about 140 overs a day, and the other was Sri Lanka hitting 509 against Bangladesh in 2002, where they faced 107 overs.

[Max Power]

As fun as the batting was, maybe picking 3 bowlers wasn’t a viable strategy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Given the number of overs it will take them to get to 657, and the amount of utter filth spin involved in our 'bowling attack', we might be about to see one of the worst couple of days of Test cricket ever. BAZBALL!

I also love how our two seamers are in one case 40 years old, and in the other case with well-documented fitness problems. It's like a club team when the opening bowlers are both on a stag weekend.

[niko_cee]

Trying to catch up on the test and I'm sat watching the Morrisville Samp Army [wtf?] toiling against the New York Strikers [wtf?] in front of nobody in the middle of some godforsaken desert in 'the fabulous T10 format' [credit the commentator for that billing], with Rashid Khan seething himself to death over not getting a stonewall LBW decision. What is the point of this shite?

[Ben]

Fuck knows. Maybe Jimmy has some more articulate insight.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The point of this shite is that Indians like to bet on it.

https://www.dream11.com/

This is why things like that lol 'European Cricket League' exist, increasingly in the T10 format, and always have live streams, even though the quality of the cricket is absolutely horrible - Indians want to bet on it, and they want to collect their winnings after 10 overs, not 20.

[niko_cee]

Up pops Moeen captaining the Samp Army, Eion Morgan teeing off against them with Paul Stirling alongside him in some sort of Irish dream team for the New York Strikers, who also had an enormously fat wicketkeeper. Captivating stuff.

[niko_cee]

You have to admire England's commitment to this madness. Over 900 hundred runs in this test off 136 overs. Bazshit mental.

[Ben]

A nice sporting declaration as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Finally someone understands what a declaration is for.

:drool:

[Ian]

I am already starting to be a left a little cold by Bazball, to be honest. Basically for the same reason I'm less keen on the shorter form stuff. If it's high scoring all the time then where's the fun in it? It feels mad after some of the shit we've all watched with England to be bored because we're too good at scoring runs but it's how I feel all the same. Though if it allowed us to smash Australia to bits in the upcoming Ashes then I'll allow it.

Also: Sangakkara there, big jumper on and reclining in front of the Christmas tree. :cool:

[Ian]

And yes, it's nice to see us not easing to a 500 run lead until tea on day 5 before declaring.

[Max Power]

I’m sorry but this is a mad declaration. It’s the roadiest road of all time and we have max 3 bowlers.

Genuinely I am sad Warne wasn’t around for BAZBALL. All of the stuff he would call for on comms coming to fruition. RIP King.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're basically saying the draw does not exist, deal with it.

Not opening with Jimmy Anderson and bowling a load of short balls to try and rough it up for him is also a legendary mad tactic.

[Max Power]

I’m on the train for sure but it is objectively mad :D

[Ben]

Big fan of this to be honest. Any other team in history and it’d be a turgid draw.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My all-time cricketing hero would be proud of this fourth innings approach.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/1200x675/p01gq2zx.jpg

[hfswjyr]

I am already starting to be a left a little cold by Bazball, to be honest. Basically for the same reason I'm less keen on the shorter form stuff. If it's high scoring all the time then where's the fun in it? It feels mad after some of the shit we've all watched with England to be bored because we're too good at scoring runs but it's how I feel all the same. Though if it allowed us to smash Australia to bits in the upcoming Ashes then I'll allow it.

Also: Sangakkara there, big jumper on and reclining in front of the Christmas tree. :cool:

Impossible to please these english fans...

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bombing them out. No mercy. Maybe Bazball could also involve sending a rocket launcher at the opposition dressing room. Turn Pakistan security concerns on their head.

[Ian]

Impossible to please these english fans...

It is definitely my most entitled opinion.

"But we're scoring too fast. :cry:"

[Jimmy Floyd]

Finally someone understands what a declaration is for.

:drool:

:drool:

[thommo]

Truly an incredible victory. I was too young for the Karachi 2000 win but there's something incredible about winning in dying light, with the shadows lengthening.

[Max Power]

Quite simply one of the top 5 England test wins of my lifetime. No right at all to get close to a result on that pitch.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, that was stupidly good. The Ashes are going to replicate 2005

[Jimmy Floyd]

Quite simply one of the top 5 England test wins of my lifetime. No right at all to get close to a result on that pitch.

When you think that the pitch was dead as fuck, 50+ overs were lost to light, and we scored at 6.73 runs per over throughout the match (!!!!) before getting the final wicket in the dying of the light, it's possible to conclude that no other team in the history of the game would have forced a result.

Stokes up there with Jardine and Brearley already for greatest England captains, keep this up much longer and he'll be out on his own. Bear in mind that we have no bowling attack, our batters are pretty shit really, and they were all in the bog just before the game started.

[Max Power]

When you think that the pitch was dead as fuck, 50+ overs were lost to light, and we scored at 6.73 runs per over throughout the match (!!!!) before getting the final wicket in the dying of the light, it's possible to conclude that no other team in the history of the game would have forced a result.

Stokes up there with Jardine and Brearley already for greatest England captains, keep this up much longer and he'll be out on his own.

And look at the bowling attack we’ve won with. It’s not like we have a genius leg spinner or a battery of 90mph quicks which you would anticipate being able to force something on this surface.

[thommo]

I had a snoop back at the Karachi win from the 2000 tour. A directly opposite approach to the game but still victorious. 388 all out off of 179.1 overs in the first innings, with an Atherton classic - 125 in 430 balls, 579 minutes. :drool:

We've hit 921 from 136.5 overs in this Test. Mindblowing how the game has evolved in 20 years and how Stokes and McCullum are just pushing the boundaries now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And look at the bowling attack we’ve won with. It’s not like we have a genius leg spinner or a battery of 90mph quicks which you would anticipate being able to force something on this surface.

Half the wickets seemed to be prised out by just taking risks, having men on the drive and fucking with the batsmen's heads. Complete departure from all forms of orthodoxy.

It'll be interesting to see what we do on a turning shithole wicket, if and when we come across such a thing. I don't see green seamers ever being a problem as our bowlers are so comfortbale on them.

[Ben]

Such a wrong day for things to go tits up at work. Finally get back up onto sea level to see this has happened. Truly astounding stuff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Did you find any more fast bowlers down there? We might need some soon.

[Ian]

The Ashes is going to be either absolutely glorious or a spectacular crash and burn as Aussie bowlers go "It's still just Zak Crawley ffs" and rinse the batting line up.

I've still no idea how this is really working or if it can keep doing so forever but it'll be interesting to find out whether over of a century of test cricket has been people farting about when they could have just been getting four boundaries an over.

[Ben]

Did you find any more fast bowlers down there? We might need some soon.

We've all got bad backs and knees so I suppose we will fit right in.

[Ben]

I've still no idea how this is really working or if it can keep doing so forever but it'll be interesting to find out whether over of a century of test cricket has been people farting about when they could have just been getting four boundaries an over.

I really think there's an element of nobody daring to do the alternatives so there's nothing to say it won't work. The great Australian team of the early 2000s would regularly rattle along at 4.5rpo which was very aggressive for the time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Ashes is going to be either absolutely glorious or a spectacular crash and burn as Aussie bowlers go "It's still just Zak Crawley ffs" and rinse the batting line up.

I've still no idea how this is really working or if it can keep doing so forever but it'll be interesting to find out whether over of a century of test cricket has been people farting about when they could have just been getting four boundaries an over.

I think it'll be harder than one might think for other teams to replicate. One of the keys to getting it going in the first place was the fact that we were absolutely shredded in the Ashes, have been shit in general for quite a while, and so we almost had a blank canvas and nothing to lose. Similarly, we don't have people smashing the door down to take the Test places of most of these players, so (particularly in the case of Crawley) Stokes/Baz have just been able to say take the shackles off, you have full licence.

I don't think anyone in the subcontinent will ever give full licence to individuals in this way - there's just too much politics, blame culture and backbiting for that ever to happen. It's more possible in Australia.

[Max Power]

With the batting - there is a case that they are just playing to strengths. They’re no cavalry of Alastair Cooks waiting in county cricket so just pick these fearless ball strikers and tell them to get on with it.

[niko_cee]

Question is, is essentially reinventing the way a sport is played [whilst also being at the heart of the T20 World Cup win] going to be enough for Stokes/England Cricket to overcome the lady footballers in the eyes of the BBC voting public?

Bit gutted as I had this on until tea and was going to come on here and post that whichever way the game went [looked a bit dodgy at the time] it was credit to England for making it such an exciting game. Then I saw what happened in the final session. :moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

No, it won't be. In the last 10 years football has completely obliterated all other sports, culturally, in this country. The ladies getting good at it / women's PL happening is the last thing other sports needed.

[Gray Fox]

I've just caught up with the days play.

https://i.gyazo.com/2c6c6b3b811e213bbae13aa09144e386.jpg

Love everything about this.

[Ben]

The field for Anderson when Pope took the leg side diving catch was brilliant as well. I watched the nine minute highlight video and it properly got my heart pumping.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Am pleased to confirm that Bazball has now pushed back the Indian/Australian twitter troops to a new fallback position of 'I'd like to see you try this on a turner against Ashwin/at the MCG against Cummins'.

Although I did enjoy this one:


Cant wait to see Bazball when it's not a cement pitch. Fucking joke side. Do one you country of fat, shit teethed fucks

[niko_cee]

I think the biggest problem with 'Bazball' is what it actually seeks to do is restore the entertainment factor to what is, in reality, a fairly moribund sport [certainly in terms of test cricket] and, in doing so, it runs counter to the entire sport as serious business narrative that has dominated since the late 80s [let's blame The Premier League rather than Tony Blair]. I don't think England would have been that disappointed if Pakistan had chased the runs down today. Just having pulled off one of the all-time great test wins doesn't square into a world where every point in the test championship is to be fought for equally [or not fought for if you can just not play anyone]. It's the same reason that the advance towards relentless success has ruined league football. There is no time to savour a victory, because another game always awaits and if you don't also win that one then what is it all for? Lost 3 games before November's out? Might as well give up until next August. Yawn.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I saw a good suggestion earlier that the main thrust of Bazball is not only to entertain the crowds, but to entertain the players, who live in a constant grind of horrendous scheduling and often meaningless matches. If they're going to do it, they might as well enjoy it.

That certainly tallies with Stokes saying he wanted to try and chase 500 last summer. Trying to chase 500 is fun. Cheffing it to an hour after lunch on day five to make the draw safe, then driving 6 hours to Durham for the next game, is no fun.

[Ben]

Am pleased to confirm that Bazball has now pushed back the Indian/Australian twitter troops to a new fallback position of 'I'd like to see you try this on a turner against Ashwin/at the MCG against Cummins'.

Did they not watch the World T20 (they’re Indian, of course they did): Ashwin is finished, he’d get destroyed even if we played in Kandy.

[hfswjyr]

Baz does Baz things. Who would have thought?

Genuinely happy to see positive cricket being successful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2022/dec/07/cricket-england-can-be-even-more-adventurous-against-pakistan-says-stokes

I did think they played it a bit safe in Rawalpindi, so glad to read this.

Also good to see the random introduction of guaranteed fog to what is already a truly bizarre Test series. What next, paint the grass red so no one can see the ball?

[Ben]

I know it's hardly Northern Scotland out there, but it's still their winter. Very cold at night in Multan (like 5C). RIPE for fog.

[Max Power]

Wood for Livingstone and Pope keeps the gloves :thbup:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pope's keeping is horrid, but I dunno, Bazball baby.

[Max Power]

No analysis required. Wood bowl fast. Let’s go!

[Ben]

Pope's keeping is horrid, but I dunno, Bazball baby.

Kind of stuck though. If we have to bring Foakes back in for the keeping then we probably need to drop Jacks because I don't see who else drops out and going with a Leach-Root combo is too mental even for Baz. Wood has to play, no way we con ourselves to victory on another flat deck with about 60 overs a day on offer (the smog situation will likely delay starts) with the same attack.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon he might just take the piss in this one. Declare 100 runs behind to move the game along. That sort of thing.

[Ben]

The last time Multan witnessed Test cricket they were treated to Daren Ganga batting a full day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I didn't know that was possible.

Anyway, David Warner has suicide bombed Cricket Australia in the middle of a Test match. This should be good.

[niko_cee]

More entertaining than the cricket at least.

[Ian]

Next step: no bowlers, only batsmen.

Jason Roy into the team to take the new ball and bat at 11.

[Max Power]

Just speculating how England would have previously responded to a “mystery” spinner ripping one through the gate on the first session. Probably not by increasing the run rate.

[Ben]

I definitely need to experience a tour of Pakistan at some point. In fact, my life goal is to be able to fuck off work and just travel the world watching England play cricket.

How's this clown took four wickets by the way?

[Ian]

Are we getting torn apart by a speccy nerd here? :drool:

[Ben]

Baz or no Baz, we're still England.

[Ian]

I definitely need to experience a tour of Pakistan at some point.

I've definitely said before but might've been before you were posting again. When my dad worked in Pakistan (over twenty years ago now, for fucks sake) I think he went to a day of a game in Rawalpindi. Not 100% sure of that but he definitely met the majority of the team and a handful of related people such as pundits, etc. in the British Embassy Club in Islamabad.

His main takeaways were that Gough, Nasser and Gower were top blokes and Botham is a dickhead. None of which is very surprising now but at the time, even not being that into cricket at that point, my dad having met Botham and dismissed him as a bellend was very entertaining.

[Ben]

Not surprised about Botham. His son Liam played in my league for a few years and he's easily one of the biggest cunts I've ever come across.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On the drive in to work I had the Aus-WI commentary on, and it was full of bored Australians going STREWTH! Have you seen the England score, cobber? Getting a wriggle on, aren't they, Bruce?

All as their team mince along at 3.3 an over for two days. Australia now the beta cucks of world cricket. England the snarling alpha males.

[Ben]

This "mystery" kid is bamboozling us. I think we are doing it on purpose just to live up to the English stereotype, because I'm picking the lad from North East England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I turned the thing on while half asleep earlier to hear Kevin Howells telling me that a 'mystery bowler' had taken five wickets, and my first thought was well why can't somebody find out who he is.

[Ben]

This lad is going to get 10. :D

For sure he will if Nawaz stays on at the other end anyway. Scrap.

[Max Power]

This is mad. 9am and I’m drunk on Bazball again.

[Gray Fox]

Pakistani Jack Leach tearing England apart.

The Stokes shocked face got me. Bamboozled.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure there was an occasion when Sri Lanka were trying to engineer a 10-for for Murali, and the jobber at the other end took one by mistake. Could see a repeat here.

[Ben]

The jobber was Vaas. Took the 10th by nicking off Henry Olonga (now there's a name).

Murali also got nine at the Oval. Alec Stewart thought fuck that and run himself out. EDIT: In fact, look at this (http://www.howstat.com/cricket/Statistics/Matches/MatchScorecard.asp?MatchCode=1435) beautiful card. Darren Gough 15 off 133.

[Ben]

The downsides of Bazball: Jack Leach playing reverse sweeps.

[Ben]

The upsides of Bazball: Jimmy Anderson playing reverse sweeps. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is so great. Bundled out in around 50 overs on day one (unexpected Wood-Anderson stand permitting), still make an OK score, and who cares about all the dogshit dismissals because BAZBALL BABY.

Consequence-free cricket. It's amazing.

[Ben]

I'm sure I just caught a shot of Trescothick in the changing rooms there. How long has he been travelling abroad with the team? It seems witnessing Bazball first-hand even cures homesickness and depression.

Mark Wood :cool: I love a bowler who takes himself seriously with the bat.

[Gray Fox]

Jimmy should have just got him back on strike there. Denied a late quick fire 50.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think he actually has any shots now other than the reverse sweep.

He'll need to take a few in this dig as I can't see our comedy spin attack doing so.

[Ben]

What's this clown standing around at?

[Gray Fox]

Pitch is doing all sorts and it's only day 1. Lovely stuff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/stats/index.html?agemin1=40;ageval1=age;bowling_pacespin =1;class=1;filter=advanced;orderby=wickets;templat e=results;type=bowling

Test wickets by seamers over 40.

[Ben]

Wood up to 96mph in his first set. No wonder he's always injured.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think the Pakistani speed guns are a bit like their birth certificates.

[niko_cee]

https://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/stats/index.html?agemin1=40;ageval1=age;bowling_pacespin =1;class=1;filter=advanced;orderby=wickets;templat e=results;type=bowling

Test wickets by seamers over 40.

49 wickets in 4 matches is some going by SF Barnes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

SF Barnes was a bit of a legend. Played about a year of county cricket total (iirc) because Staffordshire and his local club side paid better. Then just played for England and bowled at the best average in all of history before or since. Also was said to bowl 'fast spin', rather than just one of those, which sounds interesting.

[niko_cee]

Wasn't expecting to wake up to this match situation.

[Ben]

Once we got Babar they just prodded around. BAZBALL has shown that’s not the way to go these days.

[Ben]

These seamers are really poor. The nerd will be on very soon.

[Ben]

Crawley man :lol:

[Max Power]

Jacks in at 3 hahaha love this team.

[Ben]

Nasser reckons it’s because Pope has kept and is tired. We only bowled 60 overs though, that’s nothing in professional cricket.

This smells of a Baz-mandated counter attack. If Jacks comes off it doesn’t just take the Pakistan win out of the equation, it gives the lad himself that kick start to really make him feel like he belongs.

[Ben]

That’s what I look like when I try to play the slog sweep.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wheel of Fortune batting orders are the one. With all the 'plans' teams have nowadays it must blow the opposition's minds.

[niko_cee]

Conventional wisdom surely dictates even Bazball requires a period of grinding them into the dust here so I fully expect a sporty declaration sometime before the close.

What was the Indian twitter take on us being bundled out by spin in day 1?

[Jimmy Floyd]

These tactics of getting the leg spinner to bowl six feet outside leg stump to Harry Brook are... interesting.

[niko_cee]

Maybe teams will just take to bowling 40 overs of unplayable shite per innings against England to offset their attempts to move the game along.

[thommo]

Brook played a truly incredible shot through the covers to neuter that VERY leg side line. It's a lot of fun watching him bat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, shades of il grande Kevin in a lot of what he does, but without being a massive cock to go with it (as far as I know).

[niko_cee]

It's slightly surreal to think that England have knocked up 500 runs in two days whilst also casually bowling the other side out in the midst of that, and it all seems very normal.

[Max Power]

Sir Joel Wilson.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We played some really quite naff cricket for a large proportion of that match, and still won, away in Pakistan, with a brutally ineffective spinner. Quite impressive really.

[Ben]

Baz 'n Ben will try something extra mental in Karachi now we've got the series in the bag.

[Max Power]

Rehan debut :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

That Stuard Broad story the other day - the one where he was going up to get a coffee, and 'Baz' steamed in to tell him he was in next (at 3 down) because the crowd had gone flat and he wanted to gee them up again - was about as mental as I think it can get, but I'd love them to prove me wrong.

[Ian]

That Stuard Broad story the other day - the one where he was going up to get a coffee, and 'Baz' steamed in to tell him he was in next (at 3 down) because the crowd had gone flat and he wanted to gee them up again - was about as mental as I think it can get, but I'd love them to prove me wrong.

What? Was this the "Nighthawk" day?

[Ben]

I’ve got the Big Bash on in the background and while I admit cricket is the limit of my exposure to Australian culture, it begs the question: is a mullet and/or moustache a prerequisite to retaining one’s citizenship?

Also one of the umpires in this game is a fucking unit.

[Ben]

Ahmed and Foakes in for Anderson and Jacks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wood playing back to back Tests in a dead rubber strikes me as unnecessary. Could have gone Overton for him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sydney Thunder currently 9 for 6 in le grand bash. What a dismal tournament that is.

[Ben]

They’re averaging about 500 fans per match up to now.

10/8 lol

[Jimmy Floyd]

15 all out. Batted lads.

[Max Power]

That’s got to be a record. Unless Belgium under 19s got rolled for 8 once or something

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a T20 record. Surrey went over for 14 in the 1980s, against Essex. Still drew the game #brownhatters

[Max Power]

Big respect for this entry on the list from Croatia. Bat the overs lads.

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/icc-men-s-t20-world-cup-sub-regional-europe-a-qlf-2022-1321212/croatia-vs-italy-16th-match-group-1-1321272/full-scorecard

[Queenslander]

Now that's a green top.

https://i.ibb.co/6gps044/Fk-Igk-OJUo-AA20-H0.jpg (https://ibb.co/wMb6hKK)

[Ben]

:cool:

[niko_cee]

15 wickets on the first day of a test probably suggests not a great pitch.

[Queenslander]

How rude.

[Ian]

Meanwhile, in the England game, you know another corker of a pitch has been prepared when the commentator starts talking about it with quotes from the Dead Parrot sketch.

[Ben]

This Karachi pitch is so dead. Wood is banging it in at >90mph and it's not getting above waist height. Give me that green top any day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Leach going for more than Rehan is a bit of a worry, if you're Leach. Seems quite easy for them to attack him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rehan's second wicket (LBW) utterly gorgeous bowling. Please let him be the real deal.

[Ben]

How have 11 wickets fallen on Day 1 on that pitch?

[Ben]

Rehan's second wicket (LBW) utterly gorgeous bowling. Please let him be the real deal.

Indeed. That googly is excellent.

[niko_cee]

How have 11 wickets fallen on Day 1 on that pitch?

Bazball has broken minds.

[Gray Fox]

Zak Crawley (0).

That Tonbridge education doing wonders again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Crawley against spin ain't pretty. I wonder if we'll see teams deploy spin against him even outside Asia, rather than giving him the pace on that he needs to do the one thing he can do well (hit it through the line for four).

[igor_balis]

Hmm, just watching the highlights. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that ol' Foakesy doesn't seem very integrated into the bantz? Every time he's taken a catch or a stumping, not one cunt went over to congratulate him, at least with any enthusiasm. Nobody seemed to be chatting to him when they went off between innings too. It's possible that I've imagine this and this is a genuinely deranged post, but I dunno. Have a look yourself next time lads, see what you think.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://media.news9live.com/h-upload/2022/12/17/593456-bff.jpg

I found that by googling 'Ben Foakes banter' and restricting results to last 24 hours. Not the first time I've typed his name into that Google image search bar, I can tell you that for free.

[Ben]

Gorgeous man.

[igor_balis]

https://media.news9live.com/h-upload/2022/12/17/593456-bff.jpg

I found that by googling 'Ben Foakes banter' and restricting results to last 24 hours. Not the first time I've typed his name into that Google image search bar, I can tell you that for free.

Delighted to be wrong, probably just some weird displaced hungover social anxiety.

[Ian]

Foakes is probably a bit of a Bazball pariah by merely being very good at his actual job and not at any risk of scoring a 7 ball century.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's certainly a bit of an endangered species, although sometimes I think the analytics don't quite get it when it comes to quality wicketkeepers, whereas Stokes might. Today was a prime example, we wouldn't have run out Babar without him, and Babar could be 150* at the close.

[Gray Fox]

Lest we forget everyone in the wicket keeping conversation here is merely filling in for Sir Johnny of Bairstow.

[Ian]

I regularly profess my cricket ignorance in here but I've seen too many games where it feels like England lost or at least hurt their chances by putting chances down to not see the value in a good wicketkeeper.

Not that Butler battering them to the boundary like a punch from the Hulk wasn't great.

[Ian]

Also, Foakes is very dreamy, and that has to count for something.

[Ben]

Joel Wilson is horrendous.

Edit: Harry Brook is not. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Just seen his middle name is Cherrington.

:cool:/:cab:

[Kikó]

Definitely well out of the cricket loop because I have no idea who Harry Brook is. It does seem he's the boss though.

[Ian]

Just seen his middle name is Cherrington.

:cool:/:cab:

:D

[thommo]

I love watching spin bowling as the shadows lengthen at the end of the day. Something soothing about it all.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brook comes across really well in interviews. Far more direct and less robotic than 95% of cricketers.

[Ben]

Just watched the Australia vs. South Africa highlights and for all the chat around the green pitch, apart from Travis Head, it was mostly just woeful batting. Pitch definitely in the heads of a lot of them because some of the shots were club level shit.

Jansen at 7 for the Saffers was especially mental.

[Ben]

I'm not having it that Nauman Ali is only 36.

Incidentally, we had a Pakistani pro for years. Cricinfo tells me his age now would be 57. That would make his 50th birthday ca. 2015 but he was playing for over 50's teams long before that. They haven't got a clue. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

The other year we got drawn in the Conference Cup (like a regional cup for the south eastern counties) against some team that was nominally from Essex, but in effect was the Pakistan over 50s. Was probably the most fascinating game of cricket I've ever been involved with (I umpired it). When we batted, the new ball was taken by this bloke who looked like Dr Evil and bowled absolutely lethal left arm spin, fizz and dip and everything. Had us about 5 for 3 or something. I looked him up afterwards and he was 58 years old but had played 100 first class games in the 80s and early 90s. I gave an LBW appeal not out, he gave me a massive grin and said: "Respectfully, sir, I disagree."

Their skipper was a bloke called 'Ifty' who the other players seemed to revere like a god, but was absolutely useless and there was no evidence that he had ever been good. He batted 11 and didn't bowl. At the end of our innings a catch ballooned up towards 'Ifty', whereupon his legs started going like road runner, but the body didn't want to go anywhere and one of his pristine white trainers flew into the air and he went onto his arse. In the end I think we won by 4 runs because everyone from number 6 downwards tried to bat like Shahid Afridi with 20 to win, an utter travesty of a result.

They also brought their own trestle tables, tea lady and food and invited us to partake despite having provided a tea ourselves in the usual fashion as the home team. The Bazball of cricket teas.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Great powerplay for us, 58/0 from the first six. Run rate required down to 7.78 for the last 14 overs.

[Waffdon]

:lol:

Unreal

[Ben]

I love the respect of the disagreement. :D

Meanwhile our pro threatened, in his native Punjabi, a batsman that he couldn't nick off that he was going to blow him up and fuck his sister, forgetting that one of the umpires spoke the same lingo. So me being captain gets hauled into the disciplinary post-match and results in me being branded a "behanchod" for the remainder of the season because I didn't defend the indefensible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bunda/binda, or any phrase that sounds a bit like that, is a tell of a Punjabi swear. Key knowledge for a league umpire. I can't pull them up on it as they have plausible deniability on everything, but if you hear those flying around it's time for the Mike Dean body language to come out.

[Ben]

LMAO they showed the wrong ball on the review. Marias Erasmus not happy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rehan batting three :D

I fucking love Bazball. Best thing ever.

[Ben]

Now Rehan Ahmed at 3. Baz things.

[Ben]

Christ. :D

[niko_cee]

Sending in the nighthawk. :D

[Ben]

Stokes next. They're picking this out of a hat.

[Waffdon]

Is Joe Root one of the only batters that doesn’t really suit Baz Ball? Or am I just chatting bollocks

[Ben]

Nah he does, it's not just slogging. Root can score as quick as anyone, his T20 record is brilliant.

There's about six minutes of light left in the day and I love that Stokes is thinking he can get these 60 runs in that time.

[Ben]

Watching Stokes trying to run himself out made me think he would be joining a pretty small club should he be successful in doing so. My quick search led me to John Trim of the West Indies who, in 1951, managed to get run out in both innings for arguably the worst pair of all time. Useless cricket stats are the best.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Root got 142* (178) in that mad chase of 378 against India, so I reckon it suits him just fine.

[Max Power]

Tbh the fact that we’ve won a series in Pakistan 3-0 without Joe Root making any runs is another huge tick.

I’ve decided they are going to get Bairstow back in the side by having him open in the Ashes. Strap in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The best part of Bazball is that the rest of the world are still trying to convince themselves that it doesn't / won't work. They aren't psychologically conditioned for it.

[Ian]

To be fair part of me is still waiting for it to go horribly wrong because that's what watching England has conditioned me for.

[niko_cee]

It's already gone 'horribly wrong' in the first game of the South Africa series.

It will be interesting to see them try to out-macho the Australians next summer. Probably be rolling out raging bunsens [or Nagpur-style death pits] by then in a new form of pitch preparation warfare - ie we don't give a fuck but let's make it as unsuitable for the other team as possible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cracking article about England on tour here: https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/england-in-pakistan-2022-england-s-vibes-of-revival-land-their-greatest-glory-yet-1350532


On the morning before the final Test, they decided to have a six-hitting competition between the squad, with teams split into North and South. Then came a battle between coach and captain. Coach won. As a result, Stokes had to serve the best on show for the North their dinner that evening, which happened to be Brook. The initial deal was for the loser to serve the victor, but McCullum figured this would be funnier.

:D


Then came the penultimate session of the tour on the third evening, which might rank as one of the strangest / most hilarious under Stokes and McCullum. When Zak Crawley was dismissed for 41 after putting on 87 with Duckett in pursuit of a target of 167, Rehan strolled out to bat as the first sighting of the legendary "Nighthawk" role originally earmarked for Stuart Broad.

The youngster was under strict instructions to finish the game, and smacked his first ball down the ground for four. While that absurdity played out, something even more ridiculous was taking place inside the dressing-room. As Pope put it on Tuesday morning, "Stokesy was on a bit of a mad one."

For some reason, the captain decided he wanted a few more rogue options to throw into the mix if another wicket went down. According to Pope, "a load of us" were padded up, including him, having been bumped down from his usual No.3 spot. Then, on a whim, Stokes, one of the few not padded up, decided he wanted a piece of the action.

:D :D

Must be the most likeable English sports team ever.

[Ben]

That’s brilliant. :D

[niko_cee]

Two retired hurts sounds interesting for Australia, although I'm not entirely sure I agree with Warner being allowed to leave the field with cramp/exhaustion and then being able to return later in the innings. Doesn't really feel like what that rule is for.

[Danny]

1607658281996255232

[Jimmy Floyd]

Two retired hurts sounds interesting for Australia, although I'm not entirely sure I agree with Warner being allowed to leave the field with cramp/exhaustion and then being able to return later in the innings. Doesn't really feel like what that rule is for.

It isn't what that rule is for. I guess if he's spasming with cramp and can't stand up it would be OK, but feels a bit convenient that this happened as soon as he got to his 200.

[Ben]

Between knocking over Nortje with the spidercam and interviewing Mrs Warner after the day’s play, Fox Cricket had quite the day.

[niko_cee]

I was wondering about her comments, was she on co-comms/punditry or something?

[Queenslander]

Nah they only spoke to her because Warner got a score.

[Ben]

Babar is ill today so Pakistan attempted to have sub fielder Rizwan as captain. Jimmy will tell us that’s illegal so they had to send a message onto the field that actually Sarfaraz (lol) is captain now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bit of a grey area that, as anyone can 'captain' on the field, it would just be about who speaks to the umpires or whatever. Not sure if it's the captain who has to make the review signal.

I've umpired a couple of games where the 'captain' isn't DBS checked so some patsy does the toss and talks to me while the real captain does the bowling changes and field settings.

[niko_cee]

Why does a cricket captain have to be DBS checked?

[Ben]

Under 18’s in the team and the captain is responsible.

[niko_cee]

What was going on with the Pakistan declaration in their game against New Zealand? I don't really get what they were up to so can only conclude this is another sign of Bazball breaking minds.

[Ben]

I just assumed they were bowled out. Odd to say the least.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was insane, but that's the sort of nonsense that will happen when you have a moron as captain and another moron as the new chairman of selectors.

Enjoying (especially Aussie) brains being broken by this Neser boundary catch in the Large Bash.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was insane, but that's the sort of nonsense that will happen when you have a moron as captain and another moron as the new chairman of selectors.

Enjoying (especially Aussie) brains being broken by this Neser boundary catch in the Large Bash.

[hfswjyr]

I didn't realise that was the rule. Feels like the rule needs changing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a hard law to change.


33.2 A fair catch

33.2.1 A catch will be fair only if, in every case

either the ball, at any time

or any fielder in contact with the ball,

is not grounded beyond the boundary before the catch is completed. Note Laws 19.4 (Ball grounded beyond the boundary) and 19.5 (Fielder grounded beyond the boundary).


33.3 Making a catch

The act of making a catch shall start from the time when the ball first comes into contact with a fielder’s person and shall end when a fielder obtains complete control over both the ball and his/her own movement.

I can't work out a way of changing these without outlawing pretty much all 'boundary catches'. I think most of the problem that people have with this is that he flicked it up very high and thus had time to make it look nonchalant.

[hfswjyr]

It's a pretty unlikely scenario anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter that much, but it just seems a bit ridiculous that a fielder could just keep flicking it up in the air over and over until he/she steps back inside the boundary rope.

(I'm only 95% still bitter about the boundary countback rule... down from 100% now that they've fixed it).

[niko_cee]

I don't like those catches anyway so they should be outlawed. Touching the ball when your last point of contact with the ground was outside the field of play should count as touching it when outside the field of play. NFL-style, no going off the pitch and coming back on again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You could do that, but then you'd have a few potential situations with normal boundary fielding that could result in a four when the ball hasn't even reached the boundary. For example a fielder is running around the boundary one foot inside and one foot outside, then stops the ball with the studs of his 'inside' foot after last grounding his outside foot.

A worrying number of people in the twitter replies want an airborne forcefield boundary, the location of which to be judged by TV umpires.

[Max Power]

What a hilariously stupid sport this is sometimes. A tedious series explodes into life on the final afternoon and it’s called off with 15 runs/1 wicket for a result :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't be ridiculous Max. Someone could have died. Everyone could have died. It could have been a massacre. Perfectly safe 1 minute earlier though.

[Max Power]

Fending off Ish Sodhi grenades in the darkest of night is my worst nightmare. Glad to see everyone made it out alive.

[hfswjyr]

At least they had the lights on to keep it going as long as they could.

10 days played for a 0-0 tied series. Unironically love this game.

[hfswjyr]

Bizarre call from the third umpire here. I honestly wonder if he accidentally pressed the wrong button and was too embarrassed to correct it.

Mitchell to Hardik, OUT
>looks like he's out somehow, or is he? Ravi Shastri says he's chopped on, we'll wait for the replays as it's an umpire's referral for bowled. Hardik tried to help the ball fine but missed as the ball went into the keeper's gloves. The bail has come off, but that's off the keeper's gloves, there's no edge shows UltraEdge, and the ball didn't hit the off stump at all, confirms the third umpire with a split screen. The big screen says OUT and everyone but the New Zealand players is stunned! We heard that the third umpire had been communicating with the on-field umpire and asked for different replays. But Hardik has gone back somehow


And then as if to rub salt in the wound.

Michael Bracewell to Gill, 2 runs
Turning in sharply, Gill cuts it square by making room and hello, the bails are off again at the batter's end! Hit wicket or Latham? Let's see. Clean cut from Gill, he's miles far from the stumps and Latham's gloves took the bails off. Not out, if I may add

[Ben]

It's India, don't worry about it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

TV Umpire
India
KN Ananthapadmanabhan

I'd be used to fucking up basic administrative tasks if I had to write all that on every form.

[thommo]

This is quite the partnership. I appreciate they're playing on a typical Indian ODI road but they've hit some cracking shots.

[Jimmy Floyd]

140 rouge off 77 with the tail is some effort.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A fun one from the U19 Women's World Cup:

1616350446343393281

At first I thought hang on that's a bit off, but when you watch it a few times, I think it's just out. Not really sure what batter is doing.

[Ben]

Yeah it's odd but it's out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely no fans in at the ILT20 in the UAE (hugely suspicious tournament all round), but there was one guy in to applaud Alex Hales to a maiden Desert Vipers hundred:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fm7U0eWX0AMZLSe?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/64399097

:sherlock:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Women's cricket might be ahead of men's in terms of the international game being blown out of the water by such things.

[niko_cee]

The effort by England to keep Buttler off strike since the 35th over has been quite impressive.

[Ben]

Got to make him work for the 100.

Harry Brook impresses me every time I see him.

[Ben]

It's taken longer than it should have, but finally cricket has realised Shamsi isn't all that. Getting another pasting today.

[Ben]

Bazball continues to do things its own way. We cut the only warm-up match from four days to two for fear of us being burned out come the end of the three-match Test series (lol) and judging by today's efforts, Baz might think two days is too much. We've rattled past the 450 mark in the 65th over with Dan Lawrence of all people smacking 85 at a strike rate of 150 and Harry Brook chipping in with nine sixes. Oh and Ollie Pope is skipper.

Even warm up matches have become interesting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

New Zealand are getting a pasting in this series. No way their style of cricket holds up against Bazball.

[hfswjyr]

I think you'll find the official match result on CricInfo is a draw, thank you very much. 310 is obviously equivalent to 465.

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/england-tour-of-new-zealand-2022-23-1322349/new-zealand-xi-vs-england-tour-match-1357737/full-scorecard

[Gray Fox]

Meanwhile I see the Australia tour of India is off to a great start. Guaranteed seethe all around.

[niko_cee]

Is it a day 1 bunsen burner or are Australia just being shit?

[Jimmy Floyd]

If India manage to bat for more than about two sessions, this four man Aussie attack is going to be a disaster.