The Cricket Thread

[Ian]

David Warner was praising Archer very highly. And quite honest about how many times he played and missed at it as well.

There's a bit of that going about this series though with Burns at it too. Hopefully Roy can hang about a bit today.

[Max Power]

Fancy Roy for a punchy 50. Rides his luck but unfurls a few cracking straight drives.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What people have missed in their doggedly lazy analysis of this series is the ball has barely swung at all at any point. All the lateral movement has been off the seam. Murky conditions are only good if the moisture gets in the deck.

[Max Power]

Ah shit here we go again

[Ian]

A top order collapse? What a shocking turn of events.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What people have missed in their doggedly lazy analysis of this series is the ball has barely swung at all at any point. All the lateral movement has been off the seam. Murky conditions are only good if the moisture gets in the deck.

......

[Queenslander]

Loving this bounce.

[thommo]

I was in a meeting for 11am, and just got back to my desk with the faint hope we’d still have Burns and Roy there.... instantly dashed.

Burns and Denly need to just dig in and tough it out before lunch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've only got the cricinfo ball by ball, but even reading about this Denly innings is terrifying stuff. Lord help those having to watch it.

[Ian]

:yawn:

[thommo]

TMS is a bombscare right now. Especially as I can never tell when Jim Maxwell is describing a wicket or a play and miss and he’s on commentary at the moment.

[Queenslander]

Jesus Warners has almost all of his fingers taped.

[Gray Fox]

And there goes the series.

Imagine if we didn't have Archer.

[Ian]

That sounds like an absolutely diabolical wicket. What the fuck was he doing?

Oh well, at least after this series we don't have to endure any more of this shit until Christmas 2021.

Maybe we'll have found a fucking batsman by then.

[Max Power]

Joe Denly to emerge the unlikeliest of heroes with a valiant 85.

He has the advantage of not being good enough to nick off.

[Max Power]

Good lord this is grim.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There isn't exactly a mountain of evidence in favour of the prolongation of Joe Denly's Test career, is there?

[Gray Fox]

Has a team ever lost all 20 wickets in one day?

[Danny]

Has happened a few times

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/23910842/how-many-s-team-bowled-twice-day

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pre 1910 they were basically playing on peat bogs so it probably happened a few times then.

I have long since tired of Jonny Bairstow.

[Max Power]

Under 91.5 at 6/1 👀

[Ian]

Got tickets for the 5th day so hoping it's not over by then

I suspect you are shit out of luck.

[thommo]

It’s just so depressing to watch/listen. I’m just praying that we can somehow drag ourselves up near the Aussie total.

[Disco]

Are we just bad or are our players just brainless idiots?

[thommo]

Are we just bad or are our players just brainless idiots?

I think, having seen the dismissals, it is a bit of both. Some players just lack quality, whilst others just make crazy choices (like Stokes with his utterly wild flash outside off).

[Max Power]

The wild flashes look horrible (because they are) but when 95% of balls are absolutely on the money I don’t blame players for trying to smash it to the boundary.

Hazlewood in particular was unerring in his relentless accuracy

[Max Power]

Under 91.5 at 6/1 👀
Should have had more than a fiver :moop:

[niko_cee]

Probably going to have to bowl them out for negative runs here.

When do we do the series deciding super over?

[Gray Fox]

Well then, that was... something.

[thommo]

We have to get them out for 150 maximum to even have a sniff.

I’m just fuming after that embarrassment.

[Gray Fox]

This is where they come out and surpass our total without loss, to really drive the point home.

[niko_cee]

Jesus, just seen some of the dismissals.

Nasser on the money with his analysis of our batting (too much bottom hand) and it's inescapable not to link it to our rise to prominence in the shorter, clubbing formats.

Get Cook, Bell and Ramprakash back in for the next one.

[niko_cee]

Chris Woakes bowling absolute dross again. Does he think we're in Australia or something?

[niko_cee]

Ooft. We're fucked, look at the turn on that one.

Groundsman obviously has a long weekend booked somewhere.

[Max Power]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/12712/scorecard/514029/south-africa-vs-australia-1st-test-australia-tour-of-south-africa-2011-12

This is the dream. Amazing knock from Clarke in that game.

[Ian]

Australia should just declare now, for a laugh. We'd still fall short.

[niko_cee]

Are these are the worst two sides to ever contest an ashes series? Got to be close.

[Queenslander]

Are these are the worst two sides to ever contest an ashes series? Got to be close.

I was just saying to a mate it has to be the worst top and middle order.

[niko_cee]

Both bowling attacks are decent, but you wouldn't call them absolutely top tier. Broad has shouldered the burden well (better than expected) and Archer is obviously an emerging talent, but we have no real spinner and Woakes and Stokes are fairly average, at best, by historical standards. Maybe the Australian seam attack has more potential to be remembered as a nascent great unit, but I reckon for the most part they are more competent than truly exceptional (like Nathan Lyon).

This has to be comfortably the worst England batting unit of all time. Just on combined averages alone they must be 50-100 runs down on most others, without getting into the record number of whatever disaster they are pioneering (I forget if it's low scores, getting rolled in a day/session or something else).

Broad obviously feels the same way and is trying to kill them in the slip cordon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Until we get it out of our heads that attacking strokeplay is the most important then we will carry on getting rolled for double figures.

Roy, Denly and Bairstow should all go and Buttler will be lucky to cling on too. Need a massacre and complete rethink.

[Gray Fox]

At this point the BBC ticker is about the most entertaining thing going on.

https://i.gyazo.com/abc8cb56b49f4f21f85b15d9c7746ccb.png

https://i.gyazo.com/bbf01eec6d0385e3ce29a51921e8681e.png


The theory that England being good at the other 2 formats being bad for test cricket is now being banded about.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll take the World Cup win but there is no need for us to be this bad, all you have to do is pick the right players and not have a thick child as captain.

[Danny]

1164935081150111750

Could we love him anymore?

[Ian]

A very, very loud "Fuckin' 'ell" from Stokes at that drop from Bairstow there.

[Danny]

Did you see him the other day? When he was hit where it really hurts? :lol:

[niko_cee]

Yeah, for fuck's sake this is getting silly now. He's had about 5 lives. It'll go down as a peerless knock, somehow.

[Ian]

Stokes deserved a wicket there.

he looks absolutely shattered.

[Gray Fox]

He as well as Broad and obviously Archer should be the only ones who come out of this match without any kind of questions over them after what we've seen.

[niko_cee]

With or without?

That Paine dismissal was something else. Giving it the big one about having hit it as well.

:D

Knock them over in the morning and chase it down, easy. Can't see what could possibly go wrong.

[Gray Fox]

I meant without :D

Broad could have had just Warner about 6 times before the rain hit yesterday.

Root needs to get in with a score at least. He's been out inside 2 balls in both of his latest innings.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, for fuck's sake this is getting silly now. He's had about 5 lives. It'll go down as a peerless knock, somehow.

here we go:


Good Old Michael Vaughan

But you have to play with discipline. You have to earn the right to score. Look at what Labuschagne has done, he's worn the opposition down. I don't see that from the England team and I haven't seen that for four years.

:face:

[Luke Emia]

He’s had luck of course he has. But, he’s also not completely thrown his wicket away inside 5 balls.

I was thinking earlier they only have 4 bowlers. But, we aren’t even getting close to making them work hard. Actually try and see out the new ball get 30/40 overs in only having lost 2 wickets even if we have only scored 60 it doesn’t matter, there is enough in the middle order to accelerate but if they keep coming in at 40-4 after 20 overs of course they are going to get skittles. But bring them in at 150-3 every now and then with a team having bowled 60 overs already we will have a chance.

[Waffdon]

here we go:



:face:

He’s not wrong.

[niko_cee]

Yeah (@ Luke), but it's a bit much to say he's got his head down and grafted when he's been spaffing a chance into the cordon every 10 runs or so.

His first ball was an expansive drive against Leach as well having just seen his mate bowled by a corker that turned square.

The 'old ball' doesn't exist with this version of the Duke, it would seem (seam?). And we've had the aggressive brand come in a positions of strength only to fuck it up (first test). The power of the middle order is a myth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Both teams are utter dogshit, we are just worse.

Meanwhile Sam Curran closed out a T20 tonight and Moeen got 85* (46) chasing down 180, sad face.

[Max Power]

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/ashes/ashes-2019-england-vs-australia-batting-collapse-ecb-test-one-day-a9077036.html

So good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My word he's gone for Bairstow there. Somebody print it out and leave it on his dressing room peg.

[Gray Fox]

Bairstow adding further fuel to the fire there.

[Ian]

And he's bang on as well.

[niko_cee]

Was that 4 or 5 drops in Labuschagne's innings?

:cab:

[Max Power]

No wickets down at lunch. Very much advantage England.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, if we can just survive the first over or so after lunch we'll be fine.

[Ian]

We're in their heads, lads.

[Gray Fox]

270 for 8 wickets is doable for a normal team. You're needing a tonne or close from someone in the middle though.

I can't wait for us to get to within 100 and then collapse horrifically.

[niko_cee]

I was going to come in here just before heading out to the football to say that we could easily be 180-1 overnight and still lose before lunch tomorrow, so looks like they might be trying to test that theory in one way or another. Wicket incoming ofc.

[Byron]

Well you can kindly fuck off Niko.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, sorry.

[Gray Fox]

Denly departing to a standing ovation. Jimmy will be furious.

[Ian]

It still seemed a lot of wafty shite. Still, runs are there and I'd have taken that at the start of the day.

We'll still lose two wickets before lunch of course.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If that keeps Denly in the team then Ed Smith can fuck off and take his fucking round Prince Andrew sunglasses with him.

[Ian]

You know fine we'll that's his position secured for about six months.

[niko_cee]

Way way too much optimism around this morning.

I'll try to steer clear of it as best I can.

[Byron]

We'll probably be skittled for 250, which will be seen as improvement and therefore no changes will actually be made.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know. We are 2/1 to win which is absolutely ridiculous, should be 33/1.

[Ian]

Where is the optimism coming from?

Does not being total shit get people that excited?

[niko_cee]

It's just the way the news is.

Day 1: England back in the ashes, all hail Lord Jofra
Day 2: Ashes all but gone, much despair
Day 3: Ashes not actually lost but must default to either position of extreme despair or IT'S COMING HOME!
Day 4: Profit?

[Max Power]

Oh well. That’s the game.

[Ian]

Yeah, if we had any shred of hope it relied on Root seeing through this spell and the new ball you'd think.


It's just the way the news is.

Day 1: England back in the ashes, all hail Lord Jofra
Day 2: Ashes all but gone, much despair
Day 3: Ashes not actually lost but must default to either position of extreme despair or IT'S COMING HOME!
Day 4: Profit?

Yeah to be fair I'm not really sure why I even asked the question, I've seen it often enough when England beat Spain in a friendly or whatever.

[Max Power]

We’ll get em in wides...

[Max Power]

62/0 in the 10 overs of the second new ball :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are now 8/13 favs. Absolute horse shit.

[Gray Fox]

If Roy and Burns had got any kind of reasonable score then this would most certainly be on. I can't wait to see us not be able to get 130-5 from this.

[Max Power]

I’m getting more confident but Lyon has started to really rag it this spell and that changes things. It’s still very much on but Aus certainly favourites.

[Ian]

One wicket is all it'll take for us to crumble.

This partnership is the one.

It's the slivers of hope I hate the most.

[Gray Fox]

Bairstow and probably hope gone.

The hope does indeed kill you.

[igor_balis]

Ugh.

[Ian]

Fuck's sake. :moop:

That said I'd have said Woakes gave us more hope than Buttler on current form but basically Stokes needs to play the innings of a lifetime and not run out of partners, which won't happen.

[Gray Fox]

What in the actual fuck was that?

[Max Power]

Ugh some real soft dismissals after lunch

[Gray Fox]

They've obviously forgotten over lunch that we still had all of tomorrow to bat as well.

Some stupid decisions here.

[niko_cee]

Woakes' performance in this match probably makes the selectors job easier for the next one if Anderson is fit again.

[Gray Fox]

Archers been asking for it a couple of times here.

[Gray Fox]

Aye...

Stupid decision once more. You have to think Stokes will have to open it up now.

[Ian]

Stop teasing me and just get out, Stokes.

[Gray Fox]

Even 40 runs between Broad, Buttler and Woakes and this would be on.

I hope he at least gets the tonne up.

[Ian]

This is agony.

[Ian]

What is the mad bastard doing??

[Ian]

Somebody hold me.

[Ian]

Oh my God.

[Ian]

:rave::rave::rave::rave::rave:

[niko_cee]

And people thought the world cup final was good . . .

[Waffdon]

That’s one of the best innings I’ve ever seen. Ducking amazing

[Ian]

As if we've fucking won that.

[Danny]

I cant cope with this. Ben Stokes is taking years off my life this summer.

[Max Power]

What a fucking hero

[Max Power]

That tension and drama and everything was too much. Unbelievable

[John Arne]

The balls on the man. Wonderful.

[Gray Fox]

Wow.

[Ian]

I feel like I did after England finally won a penalty shootout. It doesn't feel real. I know we've only tied the series and now Smith will come back and grind us into dust but fucking hell.

High stakes sport is just the best thing.

[Gray Fox]

I didn't believe until he started slogging for boundaries at will. What an innings that was.

[Luke Emia]

Ben Stokes you beautiful bastard. Day 2 tickets at OT can’t wait now.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, probably still need to win the series for this one to rate above Edgbaston '05 or (presumably) Headingly '81.

There's a fair chance with the borked review, the borked run out, and then the lbw denied this may have collectively wrecked their minds though.

In isolation one of the great test days/sessions/innings.

[Max Power]

There’s too much to look back on and remember right now but omg that review from Paine... only pitching five miles outside leg mate

[Byron]

The cricket reddit is in meltdown over that LBW.

COME ON YOU AUSSIE CUNTS, GIVE ME YOUR SWEET TEARS.

[Byron]

Jimmy is clearly spaffing one out over Stokes or Leach.

Tbf I'm more impressed with Leach, surviving 60 balls like that to give Stokes the time he needed.

[Gray Fox]

https://gyazo.com/b7b98bfecfefe32a57f72177117276be.png

[Shindig]

Is Cricket weird now?

[Max Power]

Fuck me some of those shots.

It’s almost like he knew it last night. Just blocking, making sure he is there to write the script. Hero.

[Waffdon]

I proper celebrated that Hahahaha. Mon the English cricket

[Max Power]

Want to go out tonight and spark out homophobes outside a dodgy nightclub in tribute

[Max Power]

That switch hit/reverse sweep out the footmarks off Lyon my word

[igor_balis]

fucking shout out to Australia's LBW review.

my god, that's the BEST few hours of sport i've ever witnessed. in the world cup final i probably felt more sad for NZ than happy for england, in this i would have cried if we didn't manage it once it got down to single figures. my bloody god. incredible incredible incredible. tipsily boring my mum explaining the referral system and jack leach's first class batting average. LAAAAAAAAAAAADS!

[niko_cee]

That one, and the yorker/full toss from Pattinson that disappeared into the crowd were beyond belief.

As was the fact he couldn't get a single off 4 Nathan Lyon balls to tie the scores.

[niko_cee]

Also, 9th wicket partnership surpassing the entire first innings effort.

:cool:/:cab:

[John Arne]

Ben Stokes after the fall of 9th wicket
6, 0, 1, 0, 0, 0, 2, 1, 6, 0, 0, 0, 6, 1, 0, 1, 2, 0, 6, 2, 1, 4, 6, 6, 2, 1, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 0, 4, 4, 1, 0, 0, 6, 0, 0, 0, 4
Scored 74 runs off last 42 balls (7 sixes)

[Danny]

1165650215485018113

:D

dots

[Byron]

I don't want to get dramatic here but I'll happily let Ben Stokes come over and fuck my wife.

[Gray Fox]

Only problem is he'll be smashing her for hours all over the place.

[Max Power]

That scorecard looks so ridiculous.

[Max Power]

Big bad Bob saying it eclipses ‘81. It sort of does surely? Who knows.

[igor_balis]

Big bad Bob saying it eclipses ‘81. It sort of does surely? Who knows.

Probably on a par with edgbaston 2005, and lots of parallels with McGrath and Smith being injured and it looking like going 2-0 down and the momentum totally changing.

[Max Power]

The Edgbaston parallels were unavoidable. To the point where I was convinced we’d fall agonisingly short even after that switch hit I was sure it was nailed on and written in the stars.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I thought it was an understandable decision by Wilson. In real time there was a very short space between the ball pitching and it hitting the pad, and on the angle I don't think you give that out. Hawkeye attributed some kind of weird inswing to it after impact as well which I'm not sure was quite right.

Less understandable was Paine's decision to review the one that pitched a foot outside leg. You have to think far more clearly than that at this level, I'm afraid.

[Baz]

I know next to nothing about cricket but I've seen on Twitter that some bookies have already paid out for Ben Stokes being the Sports Personality of the Year, Gary Lineker tweeting "arise Sir Ben Stokes," and my betting group chat wanking over it being the best bit of cricket they've ever seen and Ben Stokes is omg better than Ian Botham fap fap fap.

Is this the same Ben Stokes that battered a man while drunk and was in court for it about a year ago? And Gary Lineker wants to give him a knighthood? I know he was "cleared" but we've all seen the video.

[Shindig]

"Leave it, Stokes." should be the name of his first autobiography.

[Kikó]

That's the best thing I've ever followed on live text. Just pure magic from Stokes. I can't wait to watch the highlights.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know next to nothing about cricket but I've seen on Twitter that some bookies have already paid out for Ben Stokes being the Sports Personality of the Year, Gary Lineker tweeting "arise Sir Ben Stokes," and my betting group chat wanking over it being the best bit of cricket they've ever seen and Ben Stokes is omg better than Ian Botham fap fap fap.

Is this the same Ben Stokes that battered a man while drunk and was in court for it about a year ago? And Gary Lineker wants to give him a knighthood? I know he was "cleared" but we've all seen the video.

Knighthoods for people in their twenties are silly, but who gives a fuck about the court case - he was cleared, and as far as anyone is aware he was basically defending a gay couple who had been homophobically abused/threatened with a bottle. Took it too far which was daft, but nobody's perfect.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/aug/14/gay-couple-say-ben-stokes-did-not-deserve-to-face-trial

[Jimmy Floyd]

Anyway, my hot take is that it wasn't even the best unbeaten hundred to win by 1 wicket in Test cricket this year.

[Ian]

I thought it was an understandable decision by Wilson. In real time there was a very short space between the ball pitching and it hitting the pad, and on the angle I don't think you give that out. Hawkeye attributed some kind of weird inswing to it after impact as well which I'm not sure was quite right.

Because of the angle my initial thought was it was going down legside but I'm no expert for these things.

What probably doesn't help Wilson is just that it's about the 900th thing he's done wrong this series.

But as you say, the review before that was a waste and total desperation.

[Queenslander]

Ouch!

Fingers crossed Smith can pick up where he left off and carry the team to a series win.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Listening back to the final hour from TMS: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p07lmfpy

Glenn McGrath was absolutely seething throughout, poor guy (smirk). Aggers can be a bit precious but he is the gold standard broadcaster, phenomenal description.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That switch hit/reverse sweep out the footmarks off Lyon my word

Just watched this again, there were two men out there ffs

[Byron]

The crying over Wilson is delicious.

We're now at the stage where Aussies are saying 'BUT MATE HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN IT OUT BECAUSE ENGLAND STILL HAD A REVIEW LEFT'

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah because that's definitely the basis on which umpires should make their decisions.

The Hawkeye replay of that looks all wrong to me:

https://images-i.jpimedia.uk/imagefetch/c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:eco,w_622/https://inews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/ben-stokes-lbw.jpg

If you look at the red line only (which is what umpire Wilson saw) you can see why he wouldn't necessarily give that out. He can see middle and off stumps, Stokes is a fair way down and it doesn't look to have turned square. I would have given it not out.

[niko_cee]

In real time, with Stokes falling away on the shot it looks very much like it might be going down. You only really see the point of impact/line of the ball properly when you freeze it/slow it down loads. I'm pretty sure it must have been in the umpire's head that he didn't want to give one and have it be "umpire's call" and out on that basis, so it was going to have to be stone dead to be given.

[Gray Fox]

My favourite imagine from this is quite possibly Leach gently and carefully cleaning his glasses between balls, about to casually defend possibly the best bowler in the world.

He's got himself free glasses for life from Specsavers too.

[hfswjyr]

Fuck's sake. :moop:

That said I'd have said Woakes gave us more hope than Buttler on current form but basically Stokes needs to play the innings of a lifetime and not run out of partners, which won't happen.

Called it.

[Ian]

Heh. Along similar lines I liked on TMS when Cook said "That was the innings of a lifetime, and Ben Stokes has had two of them in six weeks."

[Max Power]

Yeah because that's definitely the basis on which umpires should make their decisions.

The Hawkeye replay of that looks all wrong to me:

https://images-i.jpimedia.uk/imagefetch/c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:eco,w_622/https://inews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/ben-stokes-lbw.jpg

If you look at the red line only (which is what umpire Wilson saw) you can see why he wouldn't necessarily give that out. He can see middle and off stumps, Stokes is a fair way down and it doesn't look to have turned square. I would have given it not out.
It flicks the front pad and the ball tracking seems to count that deflection as turn off the pitch. Still may have hit leg but think the DRS is a bit off there. Would be funnier if it was smashing middle though tbf.

[Max Power]

Listening back to the final hour from TMS: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p07lmfpy

Glenn McGrath was absolutely seething throughout, poor guy (smirk). Aggers can be a bit precious but he is the gold standard broadcaster, phenomenal description.

The contrast between McGrath there and Ponting on Sky is telling. Ponting was absolutely loving it, just swept up by the drama and the quality of the cricket. Grinning like mad and exclaiming “WOWEE” as Hazlewood got dismantled.

[Ian]

I like Ponting a lot. He's good when the get him in "The Zone" too.

[Danny]

https://youtu.be/N1Ww3kXrc_k

Not sure how I feel about starting to like Johnson.

[Ian]

It occurred to me today that for all the glory of yesterday we've still got to find a way to stop Steve Smith (and now sodding Labuschagne) twice to win the Ashes back. Sigh.

[Gray Fox]

Ben Stokes can bowl too. It'll all be fine.

[niko_cee]

Jimmy will be back for OT, steaming in from his own end, and the ball will finally swing.

Being able to catch should put pay to Marnus.

Actually, that was one of the worst bits of that final stand mentally. I kept thinking, well, if we'd taken the first chance we'd have won now, if we'd have taken the second we'd have won by now . . .

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we were chasing 240 we would have folded like a pack of cards, this team of mentalists needs to be completely written off before they are any good.

Australian twitter today is amazing: a glorious mixture of tails between legs, scapegoating various players (mainly Paine), claiming it shouldn't have counted, and in Shane Warne's case just completely losing the plot and quote tweeting rage at former Sussex grinder Chris Adams.

[Ian]

Shane Warne's case just completely losing the plot and quote tweeting rage at former Sussex grinder Chris Adams.

What? :D

[Queenslander]

You blokes should be trolling Warne at all times of the day.

[thommo]

I was away all weekend, back visiting the family, but we all managed to catch the whole of Sunday's play. Absolutely unbelievable. I always have a modicum of hope, even when the odds are so stacked against England, but I couldn't see that last wicket partnership coming. I think I really believed again when he got to his 100, and thrashed Hazlewood all around the ground in the same over.

The run out mistake couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke. The seethe over the LBW decision on reddit/twitter/social media in general has been fucking beautiful. As Jimmy has said, I just didn't think it was out live. It looked like it didn't turn enough, and the ball tracker just doesn't look right.

I've been watching and re-watching every bit of content from Sunday possible. We've got to drink it all in before Smith and his regen put on 300 and thump us into the ground at Old Trafford.

[Danny]

1166099690984808456

This is incredible

[Ian]

The guy at the back. :D

[Gray Fox]

Looking at the earlier one that was a direct hit to get Buttler out, I'm not sure Lyon would have taken that one either. His hands didn't seem to be in the right place to get the ball.

[Max Power]

I was away all weekend, back visiting the family, but we all managed to catch the whole of Sunday's play. Absolutely unbelievable. I always have a modicum of hope, even when the odds are so stacked against England, but I couldn't see that last wicket partnership coming. I think I really believed again when he got to his 100, and thrashed Hazlewood all around the ground in the same over.

The run out mistake couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke. The seethe over the LBW decision on reddit/twitter/social media in general has been fucking beautiful. As Jimmy has said, I just didn't think it was out live. It looked like it didn't turn enough, and the ball tracker just doesn't look right.

I've been watching and re-watching every bit of content from Sunday possible. We've got to drink it all in before Smith and his regen put on 300 and thump us into the ground at Old Trafford.
Oh god I’ve been inhaling content from this match. More so than anything since we won the league in 2016.


Feel like the manner of the win/defeat is going to impact the series but Australia still look a better all round side. I think 2-2.

[Ian]

Unless Jimmy comes back and swings it round corners or Archer bounces him to death (can't see it) we're just not finding ways to stop Smith the 2-4 times (depending how we bat, lol) we're going to need to to get at least a win and a draw.

Hopefully Stokes has given some of them a fucking clue how you're meant to bat when you're up against it.

[niko_cee]

As soon as the ball moves in the air rather than off the pitch they're toast, so hopefully that happens. Not even sure their advantage in the spin department is particularly holing as Lyon appears to have turned to shit somewhat. Reverse swig at Old Trafford. :drool:

Smith is just a man, like any other.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we have a fully fit and firing Jimmy/Archer/Broad/Leach (all four of them) we will win the Ashes.

[thommo]

Oh god I’ve been inhaling content from this match. More so than anything since we won the league in 2016.

My favourite clip to keep re-watching is the TMS box for the missed run out. Cook just reverted to England fan/player and the collective throwing of arms and shock when he fumbles the ball is brilliant.

[ItalAussie]

Not gonna lie, that one stung a bit. Amazing to watch though. Cricket to remember forever.

Your lot should probably win it from here, but hard to begrudge you.

[Gray Fox]

Anderson ruled out for the full series which is a blow.
Him coming back in could have completed the momentum swing. As it is Smith and Smith regen should pick off plenty of runs when Broad and Archer tire.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Curran for Woakes imo, although we have also picked Overton (not sure which one).

[Clunge]

Craig. But he's bang out of form, can't quite believe he got the call tbh.

[Ian]

I'm at the point of picking Curran every time and working around him. He's not out best player but he's absolutely got something and he's absolutely the future.

As with Archer don't want him run into the ground but he's somebody we should be looking for reasons to include rather than reasons to exclude

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think you'll ever run Sam into the ground as he'll always be a 3rd/4th seamer and then he's this phenomenal talent with the bat. He has a Stokes-like aura in his future, believe me. Would help if he grew some stubble or something as he still looks like a child.

[Ian]

Denly and Roy swapping positions.

That'll fix it.

[niko_cee]

Overton in for Woakes. Seems an odd pick to me.

It's just because the former once got Smith out, isn't it? That's what our selection policy has become.

[Ian]

Feels a bit of a blow to our batting.

Is Curran's bowling not deemed suitable to this pitch for some ECBish reason?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He lacks sufficient HEIGHT apparently. Either that or Overton has the bigger cock, or whatever the hell they use to determine these things.

[Ian]

Ah, is he the Wee Jimmy Taylor of our bowling options?

"Yes, yes, being really good at cricket is all very well but he's not very beefy is he? BRING ME TIM BRESNAN."

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ironic really as Taylor is now an actual selector/the chief selector's personal toy boy.

[Ian]

"Your torso didn't suit a shirt rippling across it in a summer breeze well enough to have batted for your country but it'll do just fine for secretary work."

[Max Power]

Prime Bressie Lad would be a great pick for this current side. Bowl some good long spells and bat at 8.

It’s been said but you just have to lol that despite all the Stokes heroics they’ve been bowled out for 67 and picked an unchanged batting line up again. Love it.

[Ian]

I think we all said at the time that they'd use it as an excuse to just go "Gosh that worked well, didn't it?"

To be honest I'm not that convinced they'd have done much even if we'd been knocked over for a 150 run defeat.

[niko_cee]

Probably could have done with winning the toss and batting, but then, we'd be batting, so I guess every cloud etc.

[Max Power]

In other news, Misbah appointed both chief selector and head coach of Pakistan :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck off Davey Warner.

[Ian]

I came in here to post literally that. :D

Broad loves getting stuck into him.

[Dave.]

Probably could have done with winning the toss and batting, but then, we'd be batting, so I guess every cloud etc.

Surely we're at a stage where we should never bat first when winning the toss given how shite our batting is?

[Ian]

Also did not know Broad has more has third most Ashes wickets, ahead of Jimmy Anderson.

[Max Power]

Is Archer broken already? Three overs of innocuous 82mph dobbers with the new ball.

[Ian]

There was a period later in an innings in the last test when he wasn't the fastest on average of our bowlers either.

I assume there is a reason. Possibly, heaven help us, a Plan.

[Ian]

Labuschagne and Smith in. Well, that fast start was fun while it lasted.

See you on Friday, lads.

[Max Power]

His pace is back up since Smith came in but doesn’t look at his best.

[thommo]

I can't imagine the windy conditions are helping with Archer's pace.

One thing I can't fathom with regards to Smith - have we so much as toyed with the idea of occasionally bowling a leg stump yorker?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can't wait for the more racist of the Overton brothers to come on and bowl, this is what this crowd came to see.

[Mellberg]

What's the thinking behing the Overton selection? Such a strange one and feels destined to fail.

[thommo]

What's the thinking behing the Overton selection? Such a strange one and feels destined to fail.

It's a bit left field but he has performed well in Division 1 - 32 wickets @ under 22. I would have personally just stuck with Woakes, but I really rate him even if he was a little out of form at Headingley.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All of Ed Smith's selections have the same logic behind them, that he thinks he is a maverick genius.

[Mellberg]

Excellent. Australia @ 1.9 with the bookies. These two looking ominous and I'd say our bowling attack is a Jimmy Anderson light.

How's the weather looking?

[Jimmy Floyd]

This afternoon and Friday a bit questionable, otherwise dry. This will need to be a bat out for the draw.

[Dave.]

I don't understand cricket at times. Why are we having tea at 5:30? Why not just have the tea break when its been raining, could have had it 3:40 - 4pm as normal?

[niko_cee]

You can't play for 3.5 hours straight.

[Ian]

You obviously don't come from a good enough family to understand.

:lewis:

[Dave.]

You can't play for 3.5 hours straight.

Aren't most 50 over innings about this long?

Also the chances of playing until 730pm are very slim.

[Dave.]

You obviously don't come from a good enough family to understand.

:lewis:

Brilliant. :lol:

[niko_cee]

Sounds like absolute carnage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have been shit and are fucked, need plenty more rain in the match.

[niko_cee]

Good job it's in sunny Manchester then. Looks like at least another days worth of overs will be lost in the next few, if the forecast is anything to go by.

Still probably leaves us at risk.

[Waffdon]

8 consecutive 50+ for Smith in Ashes innings. GOAT

[Jimmy Floyd]

Definitely not that, as Bradman did the same but way better.

[Ian]

Well, here we go again.

Really need to make sure nobody hangs around with Smith too long. After the early spurt our bowling sounds like it was pretty tepid yesterday, even if the weather was a bit of a hindrance.

[niko_cee]

Worth a review there surely, looked like it could have been going down.

[Ian]

Jofra. :mad:

[ItalAussie]

This is one of those times when I remember that how much contempt I had for Steve Smith as a cricketer at the beginning of his career.

That said, he probably wasn't going to make it as a frontline spinner, so he switched it up a bit. Worked.

[niko_cee]

Still remember David Lloyd getting stuck into him (presumably when we won down there?) for only being in the team for his 'good chat'.

[Ian]

I am utterly sick of him.

[Max Power]

At least if he looks vaguely pleasant it may be more palatable to watch him bat FOREVER this summer. I kind of want to like him as he is a weirdo and that’s kind of endearing but it’s just too fucking ugly.

[niko_cee]

What the hell has happened to our catching? We're so, so bad at it now.

[Max Power]

Fucking hell.

What will it take to get this guy out?

Feel that’s a big moment. Smith out there and possibly get them out for less than 350. Now it’s a nailed double hundred and batted out the game.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We need still to be batting at tea on Saturday. If we are, we might get away with it.

[niko_cee]

England are just sloppy. Best batsmen of their last two innings have now been dismissed with no-balls, add to that the plethora of dropped catches, you just can't get ahead like that (short of actual miracles).

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have far too many World Cup guys in the team, they must be mentally shattered by now.

[Max Power]

Even Paine is getting runs ffs

[Ian]

This reads as pretty dire. Kind glad I've got a busy few days coming up and won't have much chance to watch it if this is anything to go by.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just got to bat long twice and we'll draw it, and we go again at the Oval with a competently selected XI.

Never packed that much wishful thinking into one sentence before.

[Max Power]

I’m saying 18/3 at close. Burns, Denly and Leach back in the shed.

[Max Power]

Long on to Mitchell Starc batting on 1*. Oh he’s got a single and Smith is on strike. Jesus wept.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Root needs to go at the end of this series, he is absolutely shite.

[Danny]

Agreed, it’s not his thing. I think he would have been happy to not do it but you can’t say no....

Who, realistically, can you give it to? There’s really only a few players guaranteed their spot.

[Max Power]

Can only be Stokes really can’t it? Strap in.

[niko_cee]

Can we not just not have a captain if it is going to kill whoever the honour is bestowed upon? Get Pep windmilling on the side or something telling them what to do.

[Danny]

Can only be Stokes really can’t it? Strap in.

We can’t do that to him. He will bowl himself into the ground and be wasted.

[Waffdon]

Steve Smith. GOAT

[ItalAussie]

Afghanistan got their first test centurion against Bangladesh, which is nice. That test had 90 overs in a day, with a rain delay. Shows what happens when your bowling lineup is entirely composed of spinners. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

One seamer in the match. They must be playing on moon rocks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can only be Stokes really can’t it? Strap in.

Buttler. Specialist captain and number seven gunslinger. Pick Stokes + grinders above him. English cricket is saved.

[Luke Emia]

I went today lads so Ital aside you can thank me. We were absolute dogshit all day sloppy in the field and to top it off it was fucking freezing. The 10 overs after the new ball was taken has to rank right up there with 10 of the worst overs of cricket by an England team under Bayliss and bearing in mind how many inept batting performances we have turned in during his tenure that is saying something.

Anyway Roots needs to go as captain and drop him down to 4 as well. Just free him from responsibility and let him be our best player again.

[Queenslander]

Did Archer bowl over 150kms?

[Luke Emia]

They only put on the scoreboard one ball of his at 89.6mph all day in his first spell.

It didn’t feel like he cranked it up that much today.

[Queenslander]

I wonder if that was part of a plan or him carrying a niggle?

Seems a but pointless not pushing it in an Ashes?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cricinfo had him mainly in the mid 80s occasionally getting up to 90-91.

Having known 'fast' bowlers at club level, it's only some days you can pound it down at top speed all day. If your rhythm isn't there, or the weather's a bit shit, or whatever then it's not so easy.

[Queenslander]

Yeah fair enough I guess I was hoping to wake up to bodyline.

Edit: Australian conditions are probably more suited to him as well.

[niko_cee]

He launched a few quick ones down in that later 'short stuff' spell. Definitely saw one clocked at something like 92mph. But it's probably like fast running. You can't really do it when it's cold and windy in the north of England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Elsewhere, Afghanistan have got Bangladesh in a right spot of bother on their own turf. Rashid has picked up Shakib, Mushfiqur, Mahmudullah and Liton Das for fuck all.

[Max Power]

One session survived :rave:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Six down at the close would do me.

[Ian]

Burns. :cool:

[Max Power]

Hot damn we’ve batted sensibly for a session.

[Clunge]

Derp.

[Max Power]

Hot damn we’ve collapsed again

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roy's defence is an absolute shambles, as any Surrey fan could have told you, but county evidence is irrelevant compared to the mighty white ball myth.

He looked like a rank amateur trying to keep Lyon out.