The Cricket Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

Saturday looks lost, Friday and Sunday are showery. Just need to go all out right now and declare at 320 if we have to. Have to take 20 wickets.

[Danny]

We scored 178 from 25 overs in the previous session. Do that again (as if it’s that easy) and we have over 400 by the end of the day. Make that a 100 run lead and get them back in for Jimmy under the clouds :nodd:

[Gray Fox]

The foot is down. Aussies will be in to bat tonight.

[niko_cee]

Sunday doesn't look as bad as first thought at the moment. I think we need to maintain the blitz and put them under SCOREBOARD pressure as much as anything. Or collapse in a heap/declare, either works if it's all about taking 20 wickets. Shame we're even having to think about it really as this should be an all time shellacking.

[Gray Fox]

Problem is if the ball/pitch isn't doing much, which is as it seems now, we may may be better batting tonight out, slogging away in the morning and seeing what gives after lunch.

[Ben]

I agree. Build a decent lead now in the sun and give ourselves a shorter chase when the weather might be dodgy.

[Gray Fox]

Crawley going there might be the cue to kick it up another gear. A shame he falls short of the double tonne, but also a shame we must now put up with him for 20 more tests.

[Danny]

Crawley going there might be the cue to kick it up another gear. A shame he falls short of the double tonne, but also a shame we must now put up with him for 20 more tests.

Averaging 42 this year before this innings. Is he actually coming good? :uhoh:

[Jimmy Floyd]

You have to hand it to the Bazball secretariat. They backed Crawley without condition through failure after failure because they said he would play a match-winning knock, and he's done it when it mattered most.

[Kikó]

Is this the first time we're going into a second innings in the lead in this series?

[Gray Fox]

Over rate remains at criminal levels too.

[Danny]

At this rate Jimmy will be hooping it around their ankles by Saturday.

[Gray Fox]

Horrific ball to get Root there. Nothing he could do. Rules out declaring tonight or else you'd think they'd have done it there.

[Max Power]

I’m liking this variable bounce. Declare after an hour tomorrow morning, lead of 130?

[niko_cee]

Yeah, ball keeping low now and then, these are the best conditions to score runs in and probably will be for the rest of the match. Keep piling them on as quickly as possible and look to bowl in what will probably be more favourable conditions tomorrow/on Sunday. if three days are lost to rain the game was unwinnable anyway [and Manchester should be banned from holding a test match for many years].

[niko_cee]

Aussies doing all sorts to slow the over rate down now. :happycry:

[niko_cee]

Was it Channel 4 pissing and moaning about being late for the news that led to fixed end of play times?

[Jimmy Floyd]

That and the beeb demanding a fixed 2.5 hour slot (creating the Hundred) have a lot to answer for.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd still come out now, but failing that, slog until it first rains and then declare.

[Ian]

Met office (is that the most reliable weather site?) suggests there might be a few hours so yeah, we need to pile it on and hope there's enough time with some sketchy conditions to let us get them out.

[niko_cee]

Raining already apparently, but hopefully it clears and we can get at least two sessions in.

If it's murky but they get out in the morning session it might be worth going for the kamikaze declaration.

[Ben]

We've got a weather radar at work. There's a huge downpour over Manchester now but it reckons that will have cleared by 11am and we're in for a relatively dry day after that. Tomorrow looks a complete washout.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it would be a mistake to bat too long. If you have a massive lead you put them in defensive block everything mode. Sure it's difficult but it makes all their decisions for them and they bat to number eight.

I'd want them going in thinking they have a chance of scoring 300+ and giving us a tough chase.

[Ben]

Aussie heads have well and truly gone here. If we manage the full comeback it will go down as one of history's greatest bottlejobs. The world's #1 has forgotten how to bowl.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Although this is a good Australian team, it's also a very soft Australian team (tracking the progression of their society generally) and I think more than a few weeks away from home, and this many Tests, is really hard for them to deal with.

[Waffdon]

Was hoping for some proper T20 stuff this morning. At this point, just put them in with 250 to chase.

[Waffdon]

I’ll be disappointed if we don’t see a quick fire 25 from Wood here

[Gray Fox]

Very little to be gained by sending the batters back out now. Get the declaration in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't really get this, but whatever. In Bazball we trust.

[Waffdon]

Trying to build Bairstow’s ego back up no doubt.

Can’t believe a draw is still over evens

[Danny]

Definitely shocked to wake up and see us still batting but at this point let them swing away and plan to not bat again.

[Gray Fox]

Absolutely taking the piss out of them here.

[Danny]

Oh Jimmy

[Gray Fox]

Bit gutting for Bairstow there. Still, all that batting has taken the game away from Australia. Seems to be some swing in the air but there's some great rough there for Moeen. Plenty of runs in hand.

[Max Power]

I need 4 poles today please

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just phenomenal umpiring from England's Joel Wilson. Magnificent stuff.

[Gray Fox]

Steve Smith a very lucky boy there.

[niko_cee]

I don't really think that catch is out but it probably gets claimed and given the other way around.

[Gray Fox]

There's one angle that clearly shows it's an inch or two short of carrying.

Another one before stumps would be nice.

[Max Power]

Absolutely despise watching Smith bat. Just hideous stuff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Labuschagne is worse with all his time-wasting bullshit. I've put the golf on until word reaches me that one of them's gone.

[Gray Fox]

Labuschagne is worse with all his time-wasting bullshit. I've put the golf on until word reaches me that one of them's gone.

Smudger gone. Change the channel.

[Gray Fox]

I hope he changed the channel. Stupidname is the only one who looks competent right now.

[niko_cee]

That Australian field to Bairstow after lunch was a thing of beauty. The weather is their only hope now, probably for the series. Absolutely ruined mentally and they miss Lyon so much.

Talk of the 99 not outers, poor old Alex Tudor. Was that against South Africa as a night watchman and Graeme Thorpe came in and hit a sprightly 18 or something to seal a 7 wicket win? What a shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was against New Zealand, just after we had crashed out of our home World Cup before the super sixes. We won that (the first) Test with the aforementioned Thorpe villainy. Second Test they absolutely thrashed us to level it up. Third test we conceded a first innings lead of 300 but were saved by the rain; final and deciding Test, we were skittled for 153 and 162 by Cairns and Nash to lose the series and descend to last place in the world rankings.

A truly great time to be an England fan. I think that was the last series before central contracts came in.

[niko_cee]

Can clearly see the farcical situation developing today where any breaks in the rain end up coinciding with lunch or tea being taken. Why are there specific windows for those (rather than just 2 hours after play commences etc)? That mass of rain is tantalisingly a bit more south than first forecast but still catching Manchester at its tip.

[Gray Fox]

If you can squeeze a mini session in here somewhere that'd be grand. Conditions would be horrible to bat in and we've some fired up bowlers.

[Ian]

Can clearly see the farcical situation developing today where any breaks in the rain end up coinciding with lunch or tea being taken. Why are there specific windows for those (rather than just 2 hours after play commences etc)? That mass of rain is tantalisingly a bit more south than first forecast but still catching Manchester at its tip.

The times when they go "Ah the pitch is dry but we haven't had vittles yet" is always stupid and makes Test cricket seem like a joke format.

[Max Power]

45 minute burst here at best? Unleash Wood.

[Gray Fox]

Fizzling out a bit now. Umpires not allowing Wood really not helping.

[Waffdon]

Aussie’s might end up with a decent lead at this rate.

[Ben]

Nitin has had a mare there. I heard that nick 200 miles away.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He must be literally deaf. Scandalously poor standard of umpiring.

[Gray Fox]

Great to get stupidname out. Just got deceived by the noise of the bat hitting the ground there. This match now depends on how much, if any, play we get after tea.

[Gray Fox]

Oh no I mean for the review just lost.

The dismissal was much lols.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah I missed that although the same applies to the players when it comes to noises.

[Gray Fox]

Rain falling :(

[niko_cee]

Well, 1 wicket is probably better than what had been expected today [ie no play] but it feels like we could have done better with those thirty overs. Probably need at least a session and a bit tomorrow. New ball likely critical.

[Gray Fox]

Given we're almost guaranteed to need to bat to 50-100 runs now, we need to get a sun dance going for tomorrow.

[Ben]

Weather forecast not looking good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're done. What an abomination.

Test matches should just alternate between Lord's and the Oval. Fuck you, Andy Burnham. Fuck you.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, weather looks dreadful.

Fully justifying no Ashes tests in the north until the 2030s or whatever I read yesterday. :happycry:

Hopefully the climate has become sufficiently arid by then to mitigate the Manchester micro-climate. I see two more dry days forecast for Monday and Tuesday before any game starting then would be washed out for the next 3 or 4 days.

[Dave.]

We're done. What an abomination.

Test matches should just alternate between Lord's and the Oval. Fuck you, Andy Burnham. Fuck you.

They absolutely should not.

Remind us what our record against Australia is like at Lord's again? We shouldn't be playing test matches against Australia at Lord's at all.

The Oval? Fair enough.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Maybe put some of the Lord's ones at Hove.

[Dave.]

Also this test match brings back into focus my main pet hate in test cricket. The over rates. The fines for slow over rates need to be much more stricter. Fine the bowling captain 3/4 of match fee if the over rate is between 14 and 15 and the full match fee if less than 14 unless in exceptional circumstances.

[Dave.]

Maybe put some of the Lord's ones at Hove.

I like this.

Play matches at some different grounds across the country.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They probably would do that if Lord's wasn't such a massive corporate jolly (i.e. makes far more money than the other grounds) and the others weren't all in debt.

Continuing to play at the Snot Bowl is a disgrace, but that's corruption for you.

[Gray Fox]

"If there is no further rain there will be a pitch inspection at 12:15, Lunch will then be taken from 12:20 to 1pm."

We're not getting any play are we...

[Max Power]

I’m sanguine about it all now. Played well this Test and got fucked by uncontrollables. If we took a few catches at Edgbaston we win the series. Oh well.

[Gray Fox]

A play in two acts.

https://i.gyazo.com/b5f989f7a363cda0eec1ebcf1c075296.png

[phonics]

Not playing all day and still waiting 40 minutes to play for Tea n Crumpets time is so cricket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/live/cricket/66150335

Wondered how long it would be until Austria played cricket live on the BBC. The wait is over.

[Waffdon]

1683888152614776847

Should that be out?

[Gray Fox]

Absolutely. Not quite as bad as Shane Warne falling over them but he won't do it again.

[Ian]

I'll defer to our resident umpire but I'd guess unless the umpire has confirmed the six and the ball is considered dead then yeah, he's out?

[Max Power]

More quirks from that game; Alex Davies has faced 3 balls, hit one for 4 and been out off the other two. And all Warks bowlers used went for the exact same number of runs (49)

[Waffdon]

Absolutely. Not quite as bad as Shane Warne falling over them but he won't do it again.

Apparently the rules state otherwise. Well, so the Twitter nerds say anyway

[Jimmy Floyd]

Without badgering the law, I'd say not out, thanks to the exaggerated pause between the stroke being completed and him taking the bat back. If it was an immediate recoil or follow-through then probably out as that would be in the course of receiving the delivery / playing the stroke.

Other opinions are probably available.

[Gray Fox]

Would the ball still being in the air make a difference? It's still probably going up at the moment he hits the wicket, which is why I thought it would be absolutely out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think so. If he's not in the course of receiving the delivery or setting off for the first run I think he can do what he likes to the stumps.

There's probably a case where you could apply the law 41 sweeper (unfair play), or maybe even an obstructing the field dismissal, if you thought he was deliberately disturbing the stumps in order to make a run-out opportunity more difficult. But that's really getting into the weeds of you're the umpire territory, and clearly not the case here.

[Ian]

Really struggling to muster any enthusiasm for this. I suppose it'd be nicer to get a draw but with the important bit decided by rain it feels a proper wet fart of an end to what had been a good series.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want Zak Crawley to score the 348 runs needed for him to have had the most prolific ever home Ashes series by an England batsman.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I see that Australia have once again bowled first at the Oval.

You never bowl first at the Oval.

[Ian]

I want Zak Crawley to score the 348 runs needed for him to have had the most prolific ever home Ashes series by an England batsman.

I mean if he's ever going to score 348 it'll be in a match that barely matters. I'd give him slightly better odds if we were 4-0 down though.

[niko_cee]

All that remains for BazBall to be completed is for Stokes to spend the next 6 months learning how to be a world class off spinner. I reckon he's got it in his locker.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He looks cooked to me.

Talk of Jofra coming back for the coupe du monde, wonder if Stokes will do the same. Get the band back together to troll India in their own backyard.

[Ben]

Stokes would be a definite no I think. He would probably rather spank them in the Test series in January so will probably go into hibernation after this Test.

[Max Power]

Yeah sounds like he’s gonna have an overdue knee operation.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Guess it'll be wee Sammy to win it for us then, as the elders foretold.

[Ben]

What is Labuschagne's game here?

[Ian]

What is Labuschagne's game here?

Seems to be just trying to kill the game again.

Nice of Bairsy to stand stock still so Root could take the glory there.

[Waffdon]

What is Labuschagne's game here?

9 for 82 balls. Christ. :D

[hfswjyr]

Trying out anti-Bazball.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Labuschagne needs a life ban. Just the worst.

I'll accept a Bairstow life ban if we need collateral to achieve this.

[Ian]

What is Nas talking about Harmison having a 131 average at the Oval?

I can see he batted six times in tests and never got out, so is the "average" extrapolated from that or something?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He scored 131 runs and was out once, so yeah, average 131.00.

[Ian]

Oh is that actually how they do that? It'd never really occurred to me to wonder what they did with the not outs.

[Ben]

Not outs are a great average booster. I'm averaging 50 this season despite going past 50 only four times. My average is 9 higher than my opening partner's, who has scored 120 more runs than me.

[Waffdon]

You gotta be the oddest looking cricket player. Pure bodybuilding unit of a man playing sweep shots with the elegance of Joe Root

[Ben]

I'm certainly not a bodybuilding unit. :D

Big and heavy but you'd hardly have me on the front of Men's Health. I was into powerlifting and strongman which doesn't lend itself to visible abs. I'd have to shed about 20kg to see those things again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The oracle tells me I had a career batting average of 12.00, without the 43 not outs it would have been 9.06. Vital, vital stuff for my self-esteem as a man.

[Ben]

If I look at 1st XI league only (a fair chunk of my cricket at lower/junior level is absent from the internet, and I was more of a bowler back then anyway :harold:), my career average falls from 23.81 to 19.95 if I was out every time. A massive boost to my ego considering I try to pass myself off as a batter only these days.

[Waffdon]

Johnny Bairstow is a genuine disgrace.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think you'll find he's back to his best.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Found an amazing clip here of Joel Wilson singing live on stage:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxoBaEQGMPo

[Gray Fox]

Johnny Bairstow is a genuine disgrace.

Don't make him tell you how hes only 10 months out from his injury again.

[niko_cee]

Comparing today's morning session with yesterday's:

Australia scored 54 runs, 41 off the bat, for the loss of one wicket from 26 overs.

England have scored 130 runs, 126 off the bat, for the loss of one wicket from 25 overs.

:cab:

[Waffdon]

Won’t matter either way when England collapses here after lunch and Australia wriggle their way to chase 215.

[Waffdon]

That was a properly bad shot by Stokes there. Brook is either going out here on single figures or hitting a very quick 75+

[Gray Fox]

Single figures it is. Looks like this might be a 300 or so chase, so the damage may have already been done by England. I'd imagine it goes full Bazball from here and Aussies are in by 5:30.

[Waffdon]

360 odd is a decent score but England really should have got this over 400 with ease (assuming Broad and Anderson don’t do something)

[Gray Fox]

Stuart Broad retiring on Monday.

I don't think I'm ready to see an England bowling attack without him in it.

[Max Power]

Hopefully one more legs pumping spell left in him tomorrow before he seamlessly slips into the commentary box.

[Ian]

I think I/ we discussed this in here before but while Anderson is the better bowler overall Broad is the one I'll have more specific fond memories of because he just has those spells where he decides he would quite like to destroy their whole top order.

What's his best? He's had some Ashes ones but the one that springs to mind for me is the one against South Africa.

[Danny]

The 8/15 against Aus for me

[Jimmy Floyd]

The fact that he will be an unreal commentator cushions the blow.

[Waffdon]

I never realised there’s potential for Day 4 and 5 to be rained off again. That would be quite funny

[Max Power]

Broad has received a guard of honour and hit his final ball faced for six. What scenes have we in store for the final innings…

[Waffdon]

God, I hope he bowls Warner out.

[Gray Fox]

I also get the impression Jimmy Anderson would have bowed out at the end of this series as well, but didn't want to gazump his mate with it.

[Waffdon]

England really should have been picking Tongue over Anderson in these tests.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Uncle Joel with perhaps his finest work yet with this ball change.

[Gray Fox]

Khawaja with the absolutely plumb LBW review too. Always looks funny when it's the other team doing that.

[Ben]

He's got to have thought it pitched outside leg. You just know when you're flush in front. Unless you're Shane Watson.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I gave a guy out on Saturday for a ball absolutely piling into the middle of middle stump having also pitched on middle, he still waved his arms at me. Meanwhile at the other end, my colleague gave someone not out and the wicketkeeper literally ran 20 yards up to him and started demanding answers as to why. I think cricketers are just all really thick, Khawaja included.

[Ben]

On the other hand, I got a bad decision on Saturday. It was recorded so I pulled off the still from when it hit my pad and drew the lines on. Big stride forward to an off spinner, hit me right on leg stump. Vindicated.

[Waffdon]

And Ben Stokes drops the Ashes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On the other hand, I got a bad decision on Saturday. It was recorded so I pulled off the still from when it hit my pad and drew the lines on. Big stride forward to an off spinner, hit me right on leg stump. Vindicated.

I am a bit of a not-outer and hardly give anything lbw to off spinners vs RHB. I think a lot of umps at club level just decide that unless it's ragging square, there's no turn at all, when mostly the angle alone is enough for lbw to be very unlikely on the front dog.

If you were on the sweep then your odds of being given out by most umps increases by about 300%. We had a complaint from the Prem captains last year about it. Stop missing sweeps eh lads.

[thommo]

Funnily enough I was umpiring on Saturday and gave our RHB captain out lbw to an off spinner. :D

[Ben]

I was not on the sweep. It's a long way down for me so I tend to steer clear of such elegant strokes. If it's up it's off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Funnily enough I was umpiring on Saturday and gave our RHB captain out lbw to an off spinner. :D

That's a good way to have next weekend off.

[thommo]

That's a good way to have next weekend off.

Yeah, a great way to mark my return to the 2s. :D

In my defence he'd stepped across and it hit his back leg plumb in front. He looked up at me and knew straight away. I umpired our entire innings too (we chased the target 4 down inside 42 overs and I was in at 9) so I should be in the good books for a while.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Play will resume at 4.20.

52 overs remaining for the day.

The final hour will begin after 37 overs or 6pm whichever is later.

It will take these schmucks until about 10pm to bowl 52 overs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Now changed to 47 because they ballsed up the calculations. Keep going Joel my son, we're all with you.

[Waffdon]

Some collapse

[Gray Fox]

Went to make tea about 20 minutes ago and it looked bleak.

Missed 4 wickets in that time.

[niko_cee]

Maybe go back to making tea?

[Gray Fox]

Moeen and Broad cleaning these up before riding off into the sunset would be nice.

[Max Power]

Latest in the real series of “who is the most rattled?” Seems to be Australia moving ahead with this collective head loss about the ball being changed.

May end up 2-2 will take years to work out who is the true winner of this mental series. Heads gone all over the shop.

[Waffdon]

I’d still fancy the Aussies at 5/1.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ponting is the most rattled bloke in the stadium.

[Max Power]

I can’t comment as my head spun into orbit at Lord’s and hasn’t been seen since.

They’ll chase these.

[niko_cee]

Losing the series on the back of two ninth wicket day 5 stands of 50+ will be absolutely unacceptable.

Get Wood on to take their heads off or something.

[Waffdon]

Them last 3 deliveries :drool:

What a bloke

[Gray Fox]

Does he really have to go?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Unbelievable scenes. Surprised Jonny didn't grass it.

[Max Power]

Iconic. I wanted him out of the attack before those last 3 balls, felt like sentimentality

[Waffdon]

God, there’s no one better when he’s on one

[Gray Fox]

Unplayable when he's like this.

[Waffdon]

Get Wood on now Shirley

[Max Power]

Get Woakes on imo.

[Waffdon]

Amazing

[Gray Fox]

What a guy.

[thommo]

Just perfect.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Might be second only to IT Botham as our best ever Ashes player.

[Max Power]

Perfect.

What a series. Nuke Manchester.

[Waffdon]

Amazing series really. Manchester ruined it from being special

[Jimmy Floyd]

Should have been a very comfortable 5-0, or 4-0 with Manchester rain. Chucked it in those first two.

[Waffdon]

Woakes and Wood saved England in this series

[Gray Fox]

Probably the best and closest Ashes series there's been. All 4 completed tests could have gone any way even in their final sessions.

England could very easily have won this 4-0 or 3-1.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And to think Trent Rockets v Southern Brave is on tomorrow. What a summer of cricket.

[niko_cee]

334 a prophetic number for our Antipodean brethren as well.

A great series. Shame this side won't get to tour Australia in its current form.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we find a couple of young quicks (and we could) and Stokes is still just about out of a wheelchair (unlikely), we could give it a run down there I think. Crawley is set up to score billions on quick decks if he can keep this renaissance going. Not so sure about India.

[niko_cee]

Reading that back it sounds a bit ominous for the Australian continental mass, which wasn't my intention.

[Kikó]

Haven't watched much cricket until the ashes this summer and it really was brilliant. That bowling spell of Woakes, Ali and Broad was sensational.

[Danny]

Saw on twitter but :

Stuart Broad's last ball as a batter: Six
Stuart Broad's last ball as a bowler: Wicket

The only way it could have been better is Warner the final wicket.

[niko_cee]

Australia seething over the ball change is next level heads have gone territory. Shame there isn't another test to throw them into full existential crisis. For all their retained the urn mate swaggering they look a bit broken by the experience.

[Ben]

It wasn't that long ago they did six Test Ashes series. I certainly remember it as a kid.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They were also having a massive seethe about supposedly being SNUBBED for a dressing room beer after the game, to the point where their media manager was giving quotes including 'WE'VE GOT THE URN MATE'. I don't know why but everyone in this series's heads have completely gone.

[Waffdon]

First time Jimmy Anderson has beaten Australia in a test match since 2015 was yesterday. Christ, stat padder are we.

[Ben]

Our club has just today signed, or I should say acquired, a new cricketer. He's moved up here from Somerset (there's an immediate red flag) and has spent the afternoon spamming my WhatsApp about what a useful cricketer he is. His claim to fame is getting Tom Abell out stumped (he's not lying to be fair, he linked me the play cricket scorecard), despite being "deceptively quick", and his go-to delivery is a wide yorker. Also said he's admittedly not a top order bat but will come in at 7 and get us some quick runs, in the most number 11 statement I've heard in a long time. I've a feeling he's the Sunday captain's problem.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Australia is easily his weakest opponent in terms of bowling average (34ish) but since 2010 only Broad and Wood have better records against them for England over a significant number of games.

Jofra 22 wickets @ 20 in 4 Tests :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our club has just today signed, or I should say acquired, a new cricketer. He's moved up here from Somerset (there's an immediate red flag) and has spent the afternoon spamming my WhatsApp about what a useful cricketer he is. His claim to fame is getting Tom Abell out stumped (he's not lying to be fair, he linked me the play cricket scorecard), despite being "deceptively quick", and his go-to delivery is a wide yorker. Also said he's admittedly not a top order bat but will come in at 7 and get us some quick runs, in the most number 11 statement I've heard in a long time. I've a feeling he's the Sunday captain's problem.

I have done so much of this over the years and the biggest red flag is if they mention a famous player they have played with/against. Actual good players don't mention that.

[Ben]

He's just told me he's attending our net session tonight. 'Mon the rain.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We had a great one this year actually. Indian lad, sent me his play cricket from Berkshire league or some other garbage county, where he averaged 65 with the bat across several years. I thought well, to average 65 at any level you must be alright. Came to nets, couldn't get in line, looked absolutely terrible. I put him in the 4s, he had a moan and said he was better than that. I said go and show it then. Someone dropped out of the 2s on Friday night, so I just thought fuck it let's see if he's as good as he says he is and threw him in. He got 112 off 90 balls. Played 2s ever since and now has the nickname 'Wizard'.

[Ben]

Half way through that paragraph I certainly wasn't expecting it to go that way. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Top-notch vibes at the women's Hundred:

1686389503680974849

[niko_cee]

lol at the barrage of WTC points deductions on the back of the ashes, the ICC with their finger on the pulse once again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The only way to go with over rate penalties is in-game sanctions (I think the fielders up they now use in LO cricket is a good idea), but it's really hard in Test cricket which is the ultimate freeform game. Maybe you have to start removing people from the field.

[niko_cee]

To be honest, fielders up would have been a fairly severe sanction for Australia in the series just gone.

[thommo]

Busy today so I had to say no to the 2s and commit to the 3s who play tomorrow. Thankfully looks like every game in Wales is off today so it's a blessing in disguise. A win tomorrow could be good points with the abandonments.

[Ben]

Our whole league is washed out as well. In the bar early so not too upset.

[Jimmy Floyd]

League games on a Sunday? Mind blown.

[Gray Fox]

Oval INVINCIBLES Women down to 40-8 off 61 balls here. Anything at the stumps is getting them out.

[thommo]

League games on a Sunday? Mind blown.

We've only got the one pitch at home, so if the 3s are scheduled a home game, we've either played away or asked to move it to the Sunday. Thankfully our opponents agreed to a Sunday game.

It was an absolutely gutting loss however. Ball was hooping all over the place and we managed to get them all out for 82. Picked up 2-13 in my 5 overs opening the bowling, so I was pretty pleased with that.

We got completely bogged down in the chase though. Early wickets started it off badly and then two youngsters tried to play their way in, blocking a lot, but they both couldn't find runs and it just built pressure. Inevitably wickets fell and I went in to bat at 51-7 with about 11 overs to go. Two more quick wickets and in came our no. 11, an Indian lad in his first game for us who said earlier "I wont cope well under the pressure". But we actually looked pretty settled - he hit a lovely straight drive for a boundary and I was able to slash a few cuts to the fence. And then, with 5 required, on the last ball of the 36th, I went to clip a leg-side ball away and a leading edge popped up to cover. Devastated. :(

[Gray Fox]

I wouldn't mind getting into playing. Older of my boys has also expressed a like for Cricket so I probably should. My not being able to drive does hamper it somewhat though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Get him to the nearest All Stars / Dynamos (depending on age) next spring.

[Danny]

1689311190927740928

:rosebud:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good to see the Northants buffet is as well-stocked as ever.

[Ben]

Fuck he’s had a hard paper round.

[Gray Fox]

Stokes out of retirement for the world cup. His knee is forever fucked.

[Ben]

Harry Brook not in the squad. Consider my eyebrows raised.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure about that one. I know he's gone poorly in India to date, but still.

Has Liam Livingstone ever done anything in an England shirt, or do they just like the idea of him?

[Ben]

Livingstone has been shite for a while now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On another note, I got to stand in an under 15 game between Surrey and Essex over the last two days. The talent levels are obscene. These guys are coming out of the hutch reverse sweeping you for six and timing it like Zak Crawley. Surrey had a left arm spinner who I'm convinced is the best young bowler I've ever seen. Unreal experience.

[thommo]

Last game of the league season for all of our teams today. Weather has been awful for 2 months and it doesn't show much sign of changing today. Might be able to sneak a game in in between all the showers. The 1s need some luck - 9 pts adrift in the relegation zone but they've only had 1 result in the past 6 weekends due to the weather.

Hopefully we get some friendlies sorted for September as it feels like the season has flown by too soon.

[Ben]

Last one? We’ve got four left!

[thommo]

It's only an 18 game season (16 for the 3s). No doubt September will be lovely and dry now the competitive fixtures have finished up.

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/66597000

As long as this person isn't absolutely shite (formerly an Aussie bloke so how bad can they be?), it'll be interesting to see the reaction if they start clearing the shorter boundaries with ease.

[Danny]

Heath Streak is dead. I am 90% sure there were ‘rumours’ of him dying a couple of weeks ago too. Though this is on sky sports so I imagine it’s true

Edit: A week ago.
https://crickettimes.com/2023/08/henry-olonga-extends-apology-over-inaccurate-reports-on-heath-streaks-demise/

[thommo]

No doubt September will be lovely and dry now the competitive fixtures have finished up.

What did I tell you. Mid-20s and glorious sunshine all weekend.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I stood at Arundel Castle today. If I ever stand at a better ground, with more deck chair blazer drones hanging around it, I'll have done well.

[niko_cee]

Where's the pitch in relation to the castle?

I was impressed that every two bit hamlet in the New Forest seemed to have a cricket pitch. Godshill had a pretty impressive vista, even if you had to share the pitch with the local wildlife.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can just about see the castle poking out behind some trees. So I guess it's about 100 yards up the hill behind said trees.

[Ben]

1698544629380161680

:lol:

[Ian]

:cool:

[Max Power]

MS Dhoni golfing with Trump is so perfect.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is literally nothing I want more in this world than, on 19 November this year, for Pakistan to win the World Cup in the Narendra Modi Stadium.

[Ben]

:drool:

[Danny]

Other than us retaining it (obv) thats the ideal scenario.

[Max Power]

It would be incredible.

Pakistan have a great looking ODI side on paper tbf - leaving aside whatever mad shit they are undoubtedly going to cook up during the tournament.

[Jimmy Floyd]

7/1 for them is tasty as hell. Sri Lanka also far too long. England and New Zealand too short.

[niko_cee]

This pitch looks absolutely horrific.

[Kikó]

Flintoff has re-emerged after having his face destroyed in an accident. Looks like he's had a lot of plastic surgery.

https://twitter.com/bbctms/status/1700243022863114443?s=19

https://twitter.com/FactzFrenzy/status/1700236006333481243?s=19

[Danny]

Can’t imagine how bad it must have been at the time to still be having work done and it looking that fresh now.

[Ben]

Carnage at The Oval.

[Max Power]

The true scenes are at Hove…

[Ben]

Just looked up that scorecard. Wow.

Of note, I see that Chris Wright is somehow still going. I thought Essex chopped him into obscurity about a decade ago.

[Max Power]

He’s a cracking bowler still. Sadly part of another exodus from Leicester this summer, off to Sussex I think.

[Danny]

That game and the Warks/Northants heading for great finishes.

[niko_cee]

I like Sussex's top 3 all being called Tom. Wonder what the most consecutive same [first] names there's been in a team.

[Ben]

A great score from England but that's one hell of a collapse at the back end.

[Ben]

Apart from a couple of biffs off Ravindra (who seems a bit useless), Root looks like he's never held a bat before. Proper scratchy. 500 runs at the World Cup guaranteed.

[Ben]

And as I say that, he picks up Root and Brook to two very ordinary shots. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roy axed from the WC, Brook in. DRAMA.

[niko_cee]

Presumably he's just not fit? Seems a bit harsh, or at least a random way to go about it otherwise.

Malan's nailed down a spot opening anyway, so perhaps that came into the thinking as well.

[Ben]

It’s not harsh, he’s been rubbish for ages. They’ve landed on the right squad, but just went through the drama for no good reason.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, but don't name him in the squad originally then.

[Ben]

Completely agree. Causing themselves unnecessary problems.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think they were absolutely determined to stick with the 2019 players, which is somewhat understandable as so little ODI cricket has been played since then.

[Ben]

Tim Murtagh is retiring after this last Middlesex game this week. Congratulations to him for lasting about a decade beyond when I believed he packed in. I remember him being in the Surrey squad on Cricket Captain 2000.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was looking at his early games on cricket archive to try and find some generation-spanning gems, his earliest 2s games were in 1998. Can't be many last century cricketers left going.

[Ben]

Roy has thrown his toys out of the pram and binned off the Ireland series. No chance he goes to the World Cup as a reserve now. Good riddance I say.

Kohler-Cadmore, finally out of the doghouse, in as replacement.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Roy has always been a sour cunt.

I thought Kohler-Cadmore was in the rape squad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Vince and Dawson are doing God's work here (God has relocated to Surrey in light of the Yorkshire racism scandal).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Coupe du monde starts tomorrow at 9.30 in the morning. England v New Zealand in the Narendra Modi Stadium (hopefully India one day get to play Sri Lanka at Boris Johnson Lord's). Stokes is injured. Hype levels are moderate to poor.

I'm convinced the entire thing is going to be borderline fixed, but we'll see. The schedule is very suspicious, with India having Holland (remember, NOT the Netherlands) in their last game just in case they need a run rate hike.

[Ben]

Hype is zero. I'm not sure why, we are defending champions after all, but there's just no interest from me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it's partly the atrocious tournament format and partly the fact that the Indians have hollowed out the sport to a ludicrous extent.

[Max Power]

Anyone but India baby

[niko_cee]

46 days until the final.

And England somehow go 10 days without a match at one point. All sounds a bit rubbish. Hopefully we [or ideally Pakistan] shit on India's parade.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It does miss West Indies and Ireland as well, despite both being tragically bad. I will have to adopt Chris Silverwood's Sri Lanka as my underdog interest.

[Ian]

Doesn't every cricket World Cup have an awful format? At least there have even at least three times I've had to "the fucking state of that"-ed it.

If England get to the knockouts and I'm still not feeling it I'll just stick that ICC 4 minute video of the 2019 final on a loop until I am.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If India lose the first one (albeit to Aus, but you can't have everything) it should jazz things up a bit.

[thommo]

I've got it on the radio at work and it sounds like (as expected) the stadium is laughably empty. Hopefully I'll get more into this the deeper we go into the competition because I'm not feeling it right now.

[Ben]

It's hard to tell with people being scattered everywhere in such a big stadium, but to say there's 5k in there would be generous.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Canny stuff from New Zealand looking to target us with an array of shite part-time spinners. Top-order wickets for all three.

[Ben]

I swear every Ravindra wicket I've seen (admittedly not that many) is a long hop.

[niko_cee]

Feels like we're on route to being absolutely smashed by some horrendous mega partnership between Conway and someone here.

[Ben]

Brain dead from Livingstone.

[Max Power]

Don’t see our bowling with Livingstone as the 6th bowler being enough to win a lot of games if we don’t meet our (unbelievably high) potential with the bat. Kiwis chase these for me.