The Cricket Thread

[Ben]

Eight wickets of spin before tea lol.

[Max Power]

I watched a bit and it wasn’t ragging square to be honest. Selection seems right out the old England handbook - drop the form batter and his replacement gets a first baller.

[Ben]

If India manage to bat for more than about two sessions, this four man Aussie attack is going to be a disaster.

Holy fuck you weren't kidding. A two-seamer attack of Cummins and economical county bowler Boland, complimented by Gary and "Todd Murphy" who by all accounts could have plausibly come straight from a Will Ferrell film. Who's the fifth option, Steve Smith?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Presumably Marnus and Devereux as fifth bowler. I suppose the argument goes that if you're on a ragging snakepit then it's not going to last long anyway so you don't need more than four. Problem is I'm not sure they are playing on a ragging snakepit.

[Ben]

Australia have for years remained far too attached to the four bowler attack. Boland and "Todd Murphy" hardly compare to Warne, McGrath, Lee and Gillespie. What's wrong with that Green lad? He's a decent seamer and can certainly bat as well as Renshaw.

[niko_cee]

Strewth!

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was like a dogshit era shit England performance.

[niko_cee]

Does this start overnight?

[Jimmy Floyd]

At 1am, yeah.

Can't wait to see what Bazball does with a cyclone forecast. 300 all out in 32 overs.

[niko_cee]

Win the toss, bowl them out, declare for nothing to try and force a 4th innings chase. If it's at all dodgy weather I think this is under serious consideration.

Probably get rolled by the rapist guy in a crushing defeat.

[Ben]

At 1am, yeah.

Can't wait to see what Bazball does with a cyclone forecast. 300 all out in 32 overs.

Not far off. :D

[Luke Emia]

Hang on. They declared on 325-9? Brilliant.

[Gray Fox]

Bazball baby.

[niko_cee]

This must be a bit frustrating for Australia.

I see Davey Warner is out, fractured elbow and then fails a concussion test eh? Does that mean they can replace him with a player who can bat?

[Ian]

Ah, I see Broad had one of those spells.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm actually rooting for Australia, just to see how filthy India can make the next pitch.

We are brilliant obvs. New ball under the lights in both innings, just sublime tactics.

[niko_cee]

Another solid day of cricket for the antipodean nations.

:harold:

[Ben]

Australia folded like a cheap deckchair in that second innings.

[Ian]

I know this isn't a new or interesting take, but: Anderson and Broad are ridiculous.

[Jimmy Floyd]

"Their style of play is going to present opportunities and we knew that," Southee said. "We were able to get nine wickets in the first innings, and in the second innings, we got all ten. But it's about trying to stem the bleeding in between those wickets

:harold:

We will annhiliate Australia in the summer, probably 4-0 or 4-1, meanwhile hopefully there will be a little workshop on how to do it on a ragging pitch to give us a good chance there.

[niko_cee]

Jimmy Anderson back to the top of the test bowling rankings at 40 years old.

Since turning 30 he's taken something like 350 test wickets at 21s.

Might go past Warne in the summer which would pretty much make him the best ever

[Ben]

The Aussies will still be claiming he can't bowl away from home.

[niko_cee]

It's a fascinating read on statsguru. He weirdly has a worse record in South Africa than Australia. Has also taken more wickets in Australia than he has against Australia in England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He properly triggers Australians for some reason in a way that our other good players never have. Probably because he's about skill and deception rather than macho brawn which is what they tend to respect in us (Botham, Stokes etc).

[Max Power]

Jimmy Anderson back to the top of the test bowling rankings at 40 years old.

Since turning 30 he's taken something like 350 test wickets at 21s.

Might go past Warne in the summer which would pretty much make him the best ever

202 wickets at 20.56 since turning 35!

[Ian]

I wish the relentless positivity of Bazball would relent just long enough to tell Zak Crawley to fuck off.

[Ben]

I think it’ll result in Bairstow opening which will be interesting to say the least.

[niko_cee]

Did we choose to bat on this pitch for a laugh?

[niko_cee]

Sorry, I must have misread, thought we won the toss.

[Ben]

This is my weekly Harry Brook fanboy post.

[Max Power]

Brook is an absolutely outrageous talent.

[niko_cee]

Didn't really expect to wake up to 315-3.

:cab:

[Ian]

The opposite of the usual away Ashes game problem.

Next morning, "hang on, how are we still 8 down from when I went to bed?"

Then you figure out Australia have finished us off, knocked off a breezy 250 (to take their overall score to 700) and then nearly bowled us out again .

[Luke Emia]

The opposite of the usual away Ashes game problem.

Next morning, "hang on, how are we still 8 down from when I went to bed?"

Then you figure out Australia have finished us off, knocked off a breezy 250 (to take their overall score to 700) and then nearly bowled us out again .

Yeah my first thought this morning was that the game had moved on quickly.

[Max Power]

My brain has fully adjusted to the new era so my only surprise was 315 in a day they’ve batted too slowly. Of course further investigation led to a long rain delay and early finish. All is well.

[Ben]

This fourth century - the slowest so far, yet still only from 107 deliveries

Christ. :D

[niko_cee]

More effortless mincing of the current reigning Test Champs. Absurd.

Jimmy moves to 688, ruining their top order in the process. He's basically the test equivalent of Darren Stevens now.

[hfswjyr]

The transformation of this English team is insane.

[Gray Fox]

I've just caught up on the play so far. Even with Bazball in effect, I would never have had England going from 21-3 to declaring in the same innings.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/64779863

Makes me proud to be half-Manx.

[Ben]

Highlight of the day at the Test was obviously Southee, accompanied by a camera close up, calling Crawley shite when he cleaned him up.

[Ian]

That what he actually said? :D

[Ben]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB1CzXANeCU

5:55, looks like it to me.

[John Arne]

1 run :/

[thommo]

Incredible Test but I can't believe the ball before wasn't a wide. It's miles over Jimmy's head, not to mention a foot down leg. Woeful decision.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Noey by laws of the game, wide by the stupid pro-bouncer playing conditions. Laws barely apply in internationals mind. Some game.

[hfswjyr]

Well well well. Did not expect to escape with that outcome.
I say this having not watched a single ball over the past 5 days. I currently have no idea how I'm supposed to watch any cricket highlights when every bit of NZ cricket footage on the internet seems to be "not available in your location".

[Ben]

That's bizarre. I've been watching the highlights on the BLACKCAPS YouTube channel because they're infinitely faster than BT Sport at getting them up.

[thommo]

This 3rd Test between India and Australia will be over within 2 days. India losing 7 wickets to spin before lunch on the opening day does not bode well for the state of the pitch.

[Ben]

That's pretty embarrassing all round from India.

[Ben]

Sri Lanka have gone a bit Bazball against NZ, stacking up over 300 in 75 overs. Neil Wagner got pumped again. They need to finally fuck him off, the 80mph bouncers aren't getting anyone out these days.

[Ian]

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/2e641564e7fb8372ec22b755fd59296abd5ce71d/0_0_4575_4751/master/4575.jpg?width=620&quality=85&dpr=1&s=none

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't believe 'Albo' agreed to participate in that.

[hfswjyr]

Sri Lanka have gone a bit Bazball against NZ, stacking up over 300 in 75 overs. Neil Wagner got pumped again. They need to finally fuck him off, the 80mph bouncers aren't getting anyone out these days.

https://icdn.guerillacricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Untitled-design-31-4.jpg

[niko_cee]

The predictability with which Indian pitch preparation tracks from absolute minefield to paved road depending on the state of the series is equal parts hilarious and dull.

[Ben]

Incredible scenes in the New Zealand vs. Sri Lanka game. Scrambling a bye off the last ball of the Test to win.

[hfswjyr]

We made that look way harder than it needed to be, but glad we got there in the end.
How difficult is it for the keeper to hit at the strikers end?

[Ben]

Major League Cricket coming to America in the summer. Who the fuck is bankrolling this? They're spending fortunes on stadiums and players.

Allen Stanford lives on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you ever need to ask who's bankrolling something in cricket, the answer is Indian sports gambling.

[Danny]

Could have atleast had a team down here ffs.

[thommo]

Found myself following the Women's Premier League a lot more than I expected. Ecclestone again proving why she's the best in the world, and good to see Capsey and Wong starring on occasions. Got the qualifier and final to come to finish this week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Capsey is an incredible talent. Remember watching her absolutely dominate some girls' club game at age 14.

[thommo]

It's crazy to think she's still 18. She was great yesterday - clean striking and some clever shots too.

It's a shame Lauren Bell didn't get a chance though, but understandable considering the overseas players she was contending with for a spot.

[Ian]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/england-s-test-summer-2023-zak-crawley-i-don-t-need-to-work-on-my-defence-i-just-need-to-back-myself-1365194

The words of a man who has no reason to fear for his place no matter how shit he is.

[igor_balis]

the longer they stick with him, the harder it is for their egos to just admit he's shit. sunk cost fallacy baby

[igor_balis]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/england-s-test-summer-2023-zak-crawley-i-don-t-need-to-work-on-my-defence-i-just-need-to-back-myself-1365194

The words of a man who has no reason to fear for his place no matter how shit he is.

https://scontent-lcy1-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/336586872_1309072163273459_8043787408218967541_n.j pg?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=6xMFn_nkPOkAX8H8LJd&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-2.xx&oh=03_AdQteE0Voas7V6q7NAPi14j9OESk6XSOKidZ4qKvEE3_ pg&oe=6447BC19

A journalist stating a fact is...taking a cheap shot? I hate this nonsense.

[igor_balis]

I know Gavin is a former player, but I think the tendency in posho sports to consider criticising players uncouth is almost more annoying than the hit pieces common in the toxic ends of English footy journalism.

[Ian]

"A cheap shot."

Put your pearls away, Gavin, you'll grind them to dust if you're going to clutch them that hard.

[thommo]

Just seen Johnson Charles has hit a 39-ball 100 in the T20I game with South Africa today. Brought up his century in the 13th over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cricket/rugby types absolutely love rallying round fellow pros. Think it's a reflex aimed at justifying what they do for a living.

[niko_cee]

Allegations against Vaughan 'not proven'.

[niko_cee]

I like the fact that R Ashwin 0(4) opening the batting has essentially nuked this for Rajasthan. I have no idea of the ins and outs of how the IPL works, so I presume there is some sort of logic there, but it seemed an odd choice to me as an occasional observer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ashwin opening the batting is mad, he's a classical type player. I could understand it if it was some hacker who's going to clear the boundary during the powerplay.

All sorts of mad theories going around, especially with this awful new substitute rule. Another sport trying to be baseball.

[Ian]

I was reading a bit about Dhoni the other day and that he still gets a gig just coming out to Gayle it essentially. No running, just trying to melt it over the boundary and it he gets out for 6 after 3 balls so be it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They'll try to spin his career out for as long as they possibly can, not sure the new generation of players have as many slavish devotees as he does.

County cricket starts today. Summer :cool:

[Ben]

And it's pissing down. Standard fare.

[Ben]

Half the games off for rain or even completely abandoned for the day already.

Taunton groundsman said 27 days of rain in the last 30. Horrendous stuff. Our league starts next week and I'm doubtful a lot of clubs will be able to get pitches prepared.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why do you lot up north start your leagues so early? I've always found it weird, given you have worse weather. We go on 6 May for 18 weeks.

[Ben]

22 week season, with bank holidays reserved for the 40 over cup.

[thommo]

I don't know if any of you were watching the IPL right now, but what an incredible ending that was.

Rashid Khan takes a hat trick for Gujurat, KKR needed 39 off the last 8 balls, and Rinku Singh hit 5 sixes in a row to win it off the last ball. Mental.

[Ben]

Australia have announced their squad for the WTC Final and first two Ashes Tests. Is that normal, to announce a squad for half a series?

Also, they've only selected four quicks so RIP those guys.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Presumably anyone half near the squad will be decamping over here during that time anyway. Pucovski is playing club cricket down the road from me and he's not anywhere near it, surely hanging around in case Travis Head falls down some stairs.

[Ben]

Is he the lad that is permanently concussed?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yep. Presumably the Surrey Championship's finest are at no risk of pinning him in the head with their 65mph dobbing exocets.

[Ben]

You never know. The only time I've ever been chinned was by an off-spinner, despite having experienced the likes of Plunkett and Tye fizz it past my dish.

[Danny]

Bary Gallance has packed it in.

[thommo]

I've finally decided to get back into actually playing the game, and contacted a local team. Nets on Wednesday, and it'll be my first time playing since early university days.

For all you chaps who play regularly; any recommendations for shoes or spikes to wear?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Assuming you're not a heavy duty fast bowler, pretty much any spikes on the market should do the job, as per this sort of selection: https://www.prodirectsport.com/cricket/l/adults/departments-shoes/activity-cricket/?psafe_param=1&gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw0ZiiBhBKEiwA4PT9zyIGFFzfZ2bvniLsywF8 _F5pFO-okS4uRfDHhUxPZgFv_L31ljQdUxoCVAwQAvD_BwE, and I'm sure they'll be available cheaper if you look around. This assumes you're playing on grass, as most organised cricket in this country is - if you're on astro (as some more informal midweek leagues are, at least in London) then metal spikes are no good.

[thommo]

I think they play on turf so that shouldn't be an issue.

I used to bowl relatively quick stuff but that was back as a teenager. I imagine I'm more military medium nowadays but I have no idea how good I am until I'm back playing again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good luck and enjoy. I had my first pre-season game yesterday (had about 3 rained off before that) which is badly needed as I've been promoted to stand in the Surrey second tier this season. Absolutely rusty as fuck, couldn't remember where to walk, useless at counting the score (which I hate doing but loads of umpires are all over it), a guy got hit in the foot in front of all three and I somehow convinced myself he'd got bat on it. Need a serious tune-up in the next game. The off season is so long, it's basically like being a player again at this time of year.

[thommo]

:D What did the bowler say when you turned that lbw shout down?

Are you still affiliated with a club when umpiring or is it a standalone pastime now?

[Jimmy Floyd]

In season I go wherever the league send me, but practice games are with my home club. I know the bowler well so he just called me a cunt and bought me a beer afterwards (in that order).

[thommo]

First net session went well but I'm feeling it today - chest and right arm are aching so it might take a while to get back into the swing of things.

I fully expected to just slot in with their newly formed third team, but apparently I'm good enough for the seconds, which is promising. They've got the season opener on Saturday and what with it still being April, I might even get a game. Pretty chuffed, just need to work on the length a bit and improve my consistency.

[Ben]

Good man. :cool:

We should finally get our first game of the season this week, third time of asking. Cricket in April should be banned. I'm club captain this year and I'm implementing Bazball. We are on paper the best in the division so aiming for promotion and our batting is ridiculous (number 9 has a 1st XI ton) so I'm going defensive in the field and aim to knock off anything put in front of us. Excited for the upcoming relegation fight then.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lovely stuff. I used to get horrendous first session aches from bowling in the first couple of weeks, think there must be muscles you don't stretch at any other time. Shoulders and triceps, things like that.

They will love you at this stage as there is nothing better than a new guy turning up to nets who isn't complete shit.

[niko_cee]

Ireland posting a big score should have been a bit of a red flag, but lol at that Sri Lanka reply. 0/203 off 34 overs must be up there with the worst bowling figures going.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That bowling card is a real masterclass. Two blokes (one seamer one spinner) capable of keeping it under 5 an over, a 20 year old debutant spinner who was wisely protected and only bowled 10 overs, so the short straw goes to poor old Ben White.


A tall legspinner who bowls quickly and fires the ball in flat, White was viewed as a potential long-term option to fill Ireland's wristspin void.

I guess 704/3 is pretty long term.

[thommo]

First game for the seconds was this weekend and boy, did we get a pasting.

We had something like 25 players unavailable across our three teams, which sort of explains why I was so hastily recruited to get involved and join the team. Our ragtag bunch included a 12 year old, two 13 year olds (one of which was keeping) and a 14 year old, so we never really expected to get anything against a fairly strong opponent.

We were put in to bat and struggled along at under 2 an over. My contribution was an electric 3 off 7, which included getting bowled second ball on a free hit and a full length dive when one of the sprightly teenagers called me through for a sharp single. We at least took a wicket in the field but my solitary over was awful - 3 balls drifting down leg which went for a total of 9 wides (in fairness I think a more experienced keeper stops at least 2 of those deliveries comfortably) and a half-volley which got thrashed to the cover boundary to win the game. I did at least get one to beat the edge outside off but 1 over for 16 was not a great first impression. :D

Cracking day though - few pints back at the home ground afterwards in the glorious sun whilst watching the firsts unfortunately lose a thriller off the last ball. Back to nets this evening; I'm loving it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

:cool:

Nothing like a packed ground for one of those thrillers on a golden evening.

[Danny]

1653864089372749824

:lol:

[Ben]

Weather forecast not looking good tomorrow and Saturday. Will be four abandoned in a row to start the season for us if that forecast holds. :facepalm:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The league starts on Saturday for us (looks showery too). My club has been promoted into Surrey div 1 which is where it really stops being club cricket and starts being semi-pro. The only issue is we have a budget of £0 so staying up would be a miracle. We've managed to bring in 4 players, nonetheless. One is a 'character' who has fallen out with the local Prem sides so now settles for us. There's a weird lad, pretty boy with a good technique whose mum drives him everywhere (he's 23) and failed hard at the local giants. There's an Aussie grade player overseas who started by watching porn so loudly that the neighbours complained, and there's a Scotland under 19 quick who I scouted while umpiring a lower league game and then got others to go on a covert grooming mission for me.

All in all, we should get battered every week by the Surrey pros, paid players and ludicrous overseas in the other teams.

[Ben]

That happened to us our last year in the Prem. We had a pro but he was very cheap (actually he's doing alright in Pakistan first class now, but I could get a few runs on those decks) and otherwise had nothing. We had a mercurial captain who attracted some mercenaries from around the league; they were better than what we had but skin as thin as tracing paper. They didn't perform and we were in the relegation spots half way through the year and a couple of them left, prompting the captain to have a full on meltdown in the local paper, seething at our shortcomings and openly questioning why a bunch of amateurs can't compete with guys who'd literally played Test cricket mere months before. We had a players meeting without him, ousted him, installed me as interim captain and went down on the last day having tossed up with a fag packet, never to return to the top division yet. Lessons were learned.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our last-but-one jaunt at this level was 2016, when our 22 year old captain told the local paper he thought we'd get back-to-back promotions. This found it into the rag as 'xxx: WE'RE READY FOR THE PREM', which was good confident stuff until after 13/18 games we were bottom and he resigned having come to a match straight from a night out without his whites or kit.

[thommo]

Weather's poor for us too - doubt we get a game in. Not sure what the minimum overs required are but the rain looks pretty persistent on the forecast.

Had a drink after the nets and got chatting to some of the other members. Turns out one of the first team players was pretty instrumental in the early declaration in Pembrokeshire a few years back, one which denied their opponents the bonus points needed for the title. I remember it making BBC News so I looked up the article and there he is in the team photo, grinning away with his medal.

[Ben]

I did something similar once, in the season after the debacle mentioned above. We were about 4th going into the final day, so had nothing to play for. It was only one up that season because they were cutting back the size of the Premier Division to comply with ECB regulations. In our league, you get more points for winning batting first, to encourage a bit of variety because otherwise everyone wins the toss and bowls. The team in 1st obviously were going to play it safe and bowl first if they could (which they did), meaning the team in 2nd could leapfrog them into the promotion spot with a win batting first. They played us. I had a long history with the captain and we very much disliked each other. So I fucked it for them completely by winning the toss and having a bat. Absolute uproar ensued and it was the most heated game of cricket I've ever played. Incredible stuff.

The next season the league changed the rule so you can get the maximum win points batting second, if your opponent wins the toss and has a bat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've brought that in for this season, in the timed stuff (we play white ball 50/50 for half the season). 20pts for the win if you win and bowl, 24pts otherwise. Sounds like a load of balls to me but at least we don't play that stuff in the last few weeks so no opportunity for the above shenanigans.

[Ben]

White ball for half the season? So do you play two leagues essentially (one white ball, one red)? I think the Newcastle league is doing that as well because I watched some highlights from a game at the weekend and it was coloured kit and white ball, which took me by surprise. Maybe our league will go that way eventually if it's becoming a trend.

[Jimmy Floyd]

One table, but half the games are white ball and half the games red (middle nine are 120 overs and you can bat first for 66). We'd been playing split formats for donkeys, but white ball and coloured clothing is only in the last 2-3 years.

[Ben]

That is mental. And I say that as someone from a league that still does draws.

[thommo]

We've got coloured kits and orange balls in our league. 50 over games for the firsts, 45 for the seconds.

[Ben]

We use orange balls for "The Hundred" and pink for all other cups. Horrendous things for bowlers, they go miles off the bat. It's like hitting a golf ball.

[thommo]

All fixtures at the weekend were inevitably washed out. Probably for the best as we were scheduled to play a team that had thumped 282/2 from their allotted 45 in the opening weekend of the season, and we're still fielding a few kids to cope with the unavailability.

[Jimmy Floyd]

World Cup opener and final confirmed for Narendra Modi stadium in Ahmedabad. Can already see it's going to be a disturbing ethno-nationalist propaganda event.

[Ben]

Not to worry, the final will double up as Kohli’s funeral when they get dumped out by New Zealand in the semis.

[hfswjyr]

The subcontinent is a bridge too far for us unfortunately.

[thommo]

I think I've thrown myself back into cricket too eagerly, and I'm now ruing it. I netted on Wednesday and my shoulder felt quite sore when bowling and it got to the game on Saturday and I couldn't bowl without real pain as I got through the action.

Absolutely typical that I've injured myself just as I got involved. And of course I was an absolute magnet for the ball in the field; I think I had to pull out a slide or dive 4 times in quick succession in the outfield. Throwing the ball back in didn't feel good either.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shoulders are a pain in the arse once you get past the first flush of youth. If I was still playing I think mine would have gone.

Had one of the great days Saturday. My game was rained off so I watched our newly promoted 1s play away at a Big Club that have just come down from the Prem. They had two Surrey contracted players in the side and they thought they were going to walk it. We ambushed the fuck out of them, with our 50 year old legend getting the 23 year old Surrey pro out and then pointing at the number 50 on the back of his shirt. We then made an absolute cunt of the chase until the same guy (50 year old) came in at number 10 and was part of a 50 odd stand to bring it home, and only the fact that I'm a recognisable face as an umpire stopped me from Mourinho-ing down the boundary edge.

[thommo]

Lovely stuff. Didn't realise the weather was bad that way on Saturday, we had glorious sunshine all day long. Quite burnt on the back of my neck from it all.

My personal contribution at the weekend as a specialist number 10 was a golden blob. :D Given out lbw, although I think I got quite a healthy nick on it. Not that it mattered as it went through to the keeper who caught it cleanly. We had them 4 down for not much but two experienced lads made 50s and they ended up winning by 5 wickets.

[Ben]

Foakes dropped from the Test squad. That's incredibly harsh.

Archer also out for the summer after reinjuring his elbow. It was nice knowing him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Foakes decision is mystifying to me. You've got a 15 man squad, put him in there to give yourself options even if for some reason you are hell bent on giving the gloves back to Bairstow who averages less than 30 with them, let alone coming off an injury.

[Ian]

I'm sick of them binning off having a good wicketkeeper any time they remember Bairstow exists.

[Danny]

Apparently his average is slightly higher with the gloves than without but this is a joke decision.

Foakes would be well within his rights to tell them where to shove it when they come crawling back.

[niko_cee]

And yet the inevitability of Zak Crawley continues unabated at the top of the order.

[Ian]

Crawley's dad must be giving Rob Key the best handjobs imaginable on these 'golf' outings.

[Ben]

Our 3rd team have a cup game tonight and apparently one of the young opening bowlers just bowled a 23 ball over. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some pretty punchy Crawley quotes today.


"I haven't been getting the runs I should have, but I have had a few good knocks."

The Kent batter added: "My failings in international cricket have been from putting too much pressure on myself. That is the only reason. Whenever I have gone out there with the right attitude I have done well.

"I have done a lot of thinking about my game, especially in the last couple of months. I look back at times I have played well and I take the expectation away from myself and I just try and play.

"A lot of people talk about scoring hundreds all of the time in cricket. I am coming to believe that is nonsense.

"I just want to go out there and play well and the score will come after that."

It seems like they've genuinely made him believe that it's fine if he doesn't do much most of the time because the odd big innings matters more. Whether they're right about that, I'm not sure.

[Ian]

Yes I was quietly simmering reading that earlier.

[niko_cee]

Bazball venturing further into the thought experiment realm. Personally I'm not a fan of all the chat. What was Ollie Robinson doing calling them out in March or whatever it was?

[Ben]

Josh Hazlewood will lol him back into the hutch so many times it’ll make Atherton vs. McGrath look like child’s play.

[niko_cee]

Robinson's done his ankle now, added to Jimmy's groin and Archer being dead. All going swimmingly.

[Max Power]

Woakes, Broad, Potts, Leach? Not terrible but pretty second string.

[thommo]

Dropped down to the thirds this weekend and we played yesterday. A much more laid-back vibe, with a bit more emphasis on getting the youngsters involved, giving them some overs. Thankfully my shoulder felt a bit better so I was able to chip in with 5 overs - first 4 were really good, but lost my length in the last and got clubbed for a couple of boundaries. No wickets but got the ball swinging and beating the edge several times.

Batting-wise I wanted to just get some time at the crease, get used to it all over again. Despite telling myself that, I couldn't help myself and drove hard at the 6th ball I faced. It was full and dipped under my bat, swinging back into the stumps. :moop:

We ended up losing comfortably but the weather was lovely and I did a bit of umpiring for the rest of our innings before a couple of pints in the clubhouse after. Top day.

[Ben]

We were 4/4 chasing 198 and won on the last ball with a boundary in an unbroken 194 partnership. Great scenes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I did a game in which the team batting first had a (shit) paid pro opening the batting. He batted into the 49th of 50 overs and was bowled for 97. Probably the most disgraceful innings I have ever witnessed. They finished 221/4 off 50, I'd rather have watched the crease paint dry.

In the second innings my colleague gave the oppo captain caught behind off his thigh pad, a massive tantrum ensued and the first disciplinary report of the season. Good to be back. Next week I have a spicy south London derby at a much higher level, probably the biggest game I've yet been appointed to.

[Ben]

Jim, how many umpires down your way are guilty of trying to erase their own blunders? We had a lad absolutely stone dead on Saturday and the umpire managed to convince himself it wasn't hitting (was about half way up middle), then the next over he gives us a shocker to make sure his previous howler didn't affect the game. It benefitted us but I was pretty embarrassed and if that decision happened in a vacuum I'd have thought about calling him back.

I ask because most of our umpires do this and we are supposed to be at a good level.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're lucky and have a really strong panel down here. The standard is really high and we have loads of support structures, development opportunities etc which means almost everyone I've been paired with has been really good. I don't think I've seen an umpire try to right wrongs like that. Most errors I've seen are just brain fog or general fuck-ups. When you make a mistake (or suspect you may have done) you have to just immediately put it in a mental drawer and treat the next ball afresh.

The main issue on panels is that old boys who have been there for years and are well past their best don't get punted or relegated down the divisions, either for political reasons or just to sate their egos and prevent them from stropping off entirely. That probably happens even more in smaller counties where there might not be plenty of fresh blood coming through. I've been promoted up quite quickly so far but there are lots of people who get blocked because of this.

[Ben]

The main issue on panels is that old boys who have been there for years and are well past their best don't get punted or relegated down the divisions, either for political reasons or just to sate their egos and prevent them from stropping off entirely. That probably happens even more in smaller counties where there might not be plenty of fresh blood coming through. I've been promoted up quite quickly so far but there are lots of people who get blocked because of this.

That's a huge problem for us too. We've finally (long overdue) got a few, really good, younger umpires coming through but for whatever reason aren't able to oust the old guard, so umpiring standard in the second tier is often better than the Prem. We produced Michael Gough yet didn't learn a lick from it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In my first season I stood with a bloke on the Prem list who said to me beforehand that he'd had a stroke during the winter and so he might struggle with a few things. I asked what things he would struggle with and he said he wasn't able to judge leg-side wides anymore (I have no idea how the stroke prevented this but apparently it did). He asked me to do a little signal from square leg if there was a leg side wide, so that he would know it was down the leg side. He also asked me not to tell any of the Prem umpires about this issue, in case he lost his place on the Prem list.

He did get punted from Prem but he's still on the panel doing Div 1, bless him.

[niko_cee]

:D

What a bizarrely specific inability [although presumably he could just guess everything else, but that is a bit of a clear cut thing one way or the other]. You'd have to be fairly committed to the glamour of umpiring to keep on doing it even when you can't tell which side of the batsman the ball has passed.

[Ian]

Bringing my niece to her guitar lesson this evening and had brought a book to pass the time but turns out there is some top notch sport on the go.

https://i.ibb.co/89yyxqz/IMG-20230523-185629704.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/9s4H6Hs/IMG-20230523-185707766.jpg

Can't get the image tags working on my phone.

Edit: there we go.

[Ian]

Just seen a beamer get very dismissively dispatched for six.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That looks a nice ground actually.

[Ian]

The Tunnock's bakery doesn't fund any old shit, mate.

[Clunge]

Somerset mincing Hampshire at Taunton. Lovely stuff.

[Ben]

I'm a bit late to the party on this but surely the IPL final was a massive fix? All seemed a bit convenient for Dhoni to be lifting the trophy, then U-turn on his retirement, capped off by the losing team celebrating with him like India had just won the World Cup.

[niko_cee]

152/1off 25 overs, nicely set up to hit 400+, oh wait, this is a test match.

[Ian]

I heard Stokes yesterday absolutely refusing to acknowledge that the Ashes is a big, important series because it's all part of the joooooourneeeey maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

If it works it works but c'mon mate.

[Ian]

That's some forehead on Ben Duckett.

WFH on a sunny Friday when I don't have much work on and can finish early if I want should be prime Watching An England Test time but I really can't muster much enthusiasm for this given how one sided it is. I absolutely want more test teams and for the format to prosper but Ireland look very out of their depth here

Hoping for a comedy collapse like in 2019 to liven things up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are very good and they are very shit (at bowling, they're just mildly shit at batting).

In an ideal world you'd have two (or more) divisions of eight for Test cricket, with promotion and relegation. In fact I think something like that was once proposed, but Bangladesh and Sri Lanka had a massive tantrum so that was the end of that.

[Ben]

Duckett has 100 in the session. This could be done by tonight if they want it.

[Max Power]

Duckett has left the ball just 8 times since his recall hahaha

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jessop survives yet again. That and Bannerman are the two maddest records in all of sport.

[niko_cee]

20 years it took India to win a test, they were going on about it yesterday in terms of where Ireland are 6 years in. 26 for NZ I think was the record, although I guess there was less shite to play back then.

Hadn't realised this was a 4 day test.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bangladesh were as pony as this for a long time, and had much greater resources and playing opportunities than Ireland.

[hfswjyr]

20 years it took India to win a test, they were going on about it yesterday in terms of where Ireland are 6 years in. 26 for NZ I think was the record, although I guess there was less shite to play back then.

Hadn't realised this was a 4 day test.

But 1 (and only) WTC now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jimmy Floyd]

People don't understand how well New Zealand do to win anything in cricket. It's the distant second (at best) sport in a tiny country. Jeremy Coney's tales of his tours in the 80s are mad.

The most underachieving country is India by a mile, then Bangladesh, then probably England.

[Max Power]

Kind of mad how disparate tiny nations banded together under one flag dominated the game for 20 years as well.

How many world class cricketers has say Antigua produced compared to Bangladesh?

[hfswjyr]

People don't understand how well New Zealand do to win anything in cricket. It's the distant second (at best) sport in a tiny country. Jeremy Coney's tales of his tours in the 80s are mad.



That's what really made the 2019 final so hard to take. It really did feel like our one chance, with our golden generation. I'm not sure I'll live to see us come that close again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Second disciplinary of the season today, one captain screamed 'You cunt!' in the other captain's face, while comfortably winning a third tier match. What a sport, what people.

[thommo]

I'm playing today at 1pm, hopefully I'll be able to experience a win. 4 losses from 4 so far. :D

Last week was particularly irritating though. I opened the bowling and started well, first 5 overs going for 15. We had them 90-odd for 3 in the 26th over (40 over game) and it was pretty evenly balanced. Out strolls a lad who batters us all over the park, reaching his 100 off the last ball of the innings. He'd made 95 not out for their firsts the week before and here he is, 7 divisions lower, turning out for their fourths. Took my last 3 overs for 40 too.

Ended up losing by about 80 runs, not terrible all things considered, but I think it would have been a really tight contest if he wasn't involved.

[Ian]

Delighted to see big Zak saw us over the line with a gutsy innings yesterday.

[niko_cee]

He just believed in his ability to get the job done.

[niko_cee]

Leach missing the ashes provides an interesting situation. Are they going to back Root to hold up and end? Probably end up picking Livingstone.

BBC story mentions Moeen. :drool:

[Max Power]

Rehan was the second spinner in Pakistan and they surely wouldn’t dare throw him in to a home summer?

Suspect they’ll pick four seamers for the first two. Then send for Mo :drool:

[niko_cee]

Also, without wanting to veer into overly tempestuous waters, the idea of calling it "the men's ashes" can fully do one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Liam Dawson till I die. You can't go in without a spinner. We'd bowl about 45 overs a day.

[Clunge]

Somerset six out of six in the T20 :cool2:.

[igor_balis]

Lovely knock from Crawley, can't wait for them to tie themselves in knots trying to pick the team when Stokes comes back and end up shoving him up to open and ruining him / ruining everyone.

lol

[Ian]

What I've loved about this Crawley innings is that he's just used his brain. Quick runs were there for him early so he took them. When they dried up a bit he was patient and didn't start waving his bat at everything.

Blimey, what different times those were. The first and last time he used his brain presumably.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd love to know what prompted Igor to go back and read our takes on what I'm guessing was the Pakistan series during covid. Even if my take in this instance was white-hot.

[Ben]

Or just head straight back to page 1 for this (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?64-The-Cricket-Thread&p=5032&viewfull=1#post5032) all-timer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely nailed it on Anderson didn't I. That said, the whingeing about the ball being out of shape is now such a part of England cricket that it's spread to the club game. Met every single time with 'It's round and it's red, fuck off'.

[Ian]

I can't see, hear or think about Bell without thinking about that second post.

[Danny]

Absolutely nailed it on Anderson didn't I. That said, the whingeing about the ball being out of shape is now such a part of England cricket that it's spread to the club game. Met every single time with 'It's round and it's red, fuck off'.

Instantly thought of that Viv response “Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it." (https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/1742234-the-top-10-greatest-cricket-sledges-of-all-time.amp.html)

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't imagine the chutzpah/delusion required for a random county bowler to have a pop at Viv Richards.

[igor_balis]

I'd love to know what prompted Igor to go back and read our takes on what I'm guessing was the Pakistan series during covid. Even if my take in this instance was white-hot.

I was trying to remember the name of the rando county player I saw get onto my Waterloo-Kingston at New Malden by searching this thread (reader, it was Laurie Evans, as suggested by igor_balis and confirmed by JimmyFloyd), and ended up accidentally getting sucked into reading the thread. I've gone from about 2019 to 2021 so far. Look, I'm unemployed for the first time since 2015, what else would I be doing?

My mate's missus was half-jokingly suggesting I was on the ASD spectrum on Saturday night, and when I was like "what the fuck, I have amazing social skills", she said something along the lines of "yes, your social skills are fine, I was thinking more of the weird anoraky things you do", and yeah fair enough.

[Ian]

Mo. :wub:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Probably the biggest vibes-based selection ever. He averages 65 with the ball against Australia, hasn't bowled with a red ball for two years and has been in poor form of late. But this is how Bazball rolls and who am I to question it.

[hfswjyr]

Absolutely nailed it on Anderson didn't I. That said, the whingeing about the ball being out of shape is now such a part of England cricket that it's spread to the club game. Met every single time with 'It's round and it's red, fuck off'.

Maybe less so with this one just up the page?

Sam Curran though, my fucking lord, we're talking a once in 25 years player here boys. Strap in. He will end the Test career of Ben Stokes within 3 years.


There's no might, this is the actual messiah. Totally different league to say Flintoff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was being sarcastic with Anderson, I gave him one more series or something, nine years ago.

Curran did win us a World Cup tbf. Although so did Stokes. Twice.

[Ben]

Not sure I’ve seen the Oval as green as this beyond April.

[niko_cee]

Is the world test championship always going to be played in England or will India demand it be moved if they lose again?

Guess, given the time of year, we're the only horse in town really.

[niko_cee]

I also notice this is day 1 of 6 - is that a reserve day?

[thommo]

I also notice this is day 1 of 6 - is that a reserve day?

Yeah, only to be used if they lose time due to weather.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I also notice this is day 1 of 6 - is that a reserve day?

Yep. Had to use it last time IIRC in the India v New Zealand game.

England is the best place for any world cricket tournament or final, with Australia second. We have all the diasporas and varied decks and weathers. World Cup in India in three months and they haven't even confirmed the schedule yet ffs. Big money, big interest in cricket, embarrassingly bad at hosting things.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why the fuck have they left Trashwin out? Absolutely mental, especially at the Oval.

[Ben]

Picked a team for the first session. Clowns.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Another one in favour of slitting the throats of all 'analysts' in pro sport.

[niko_cee]

Doesn't really sound like it's going too well for Indian Cricket Team.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Willing to predict Australia will absolutely crush them in the rest of this. Aus bowlers in a totally different class to India's who, without Bumrah and Ashwin, are a bunch of fat clubbie fucks.

[Ben]

Thakur is the type of guy who’d clean up in County Div 2 but he’s complete fodder at this level. Chris Rushworth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meant to post in here, I heard a quality rumour on the cricketing grapevine that Bairstow's 'slipped on the golf course' broken leg story was a cover, and in fact he broke it being two-footed by Ben Stokes in a football game. Sounded like hogwash to me but it was a good source.

[Ben]

I could believe that. I was trying to fathom, unsuccessfully, how you could break your leg that bad from a slip on the tee box.

[thommo]

Managed to experience my first win on Sunday, and contributed a fair bit to seal the deal too.

We'd collapsed to 81/8 before me and our keeper put on an unbeaten 69 in the final 11 overs (against some helpful bowling). Ended up 21 not out and we had 150 on the board to defend. They weren't amazing with the bat but their top order were chipping away at the target. We had a young leggie who bowled through and picked up 4 wickets and I bowled in tandem to end up with 6-2-11-2, and we won by 25 runs. :cool:

This weekend I'm being bumped up to the seconds; the firsts are missing 9 players so we're all shuffling about to fulfil our fixtures.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Those long late partnerships are amazing to be part of. You come in and the opposition are up, then their joy just flattens slightly, then there's the first call of 'Come on lads, focus', and you know you've flipped it. Then it turns into frustration, anger and finally resignation. Glorious.

1s missing 9 players sounds like a wedding, cricketers who get married in the summer should be socially shunned.

[Ben]

:eyemouth:

Although you have a point. We were walking the league a couple of years ago, then I got married mid-July and it absolutely torpedoed us. Finished third (two go up).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our 1s are going really well at the moment (in promotion places to Prem which is uncharted territory) but the captain's missus is due in 2 weeks and the vice captain is getting married 2 weeks after that. How to end a good season.

[igor_balis]

Managed to experience my first win on Sunday, and contributed a fair bit to seal the deal too.

We'd collapsed to 81/8 before me and our keeper put on an unbeaten 69 in the final 11 overs (against some helpful bowling). Ended up 21 not out and we had 150 on the board to defend. They weren't amazing with the bat but their top order were chipping away at the target. We had a young leggie who bowled through and picked up 4 wickets and I bowled in tandem to end up with
6-2-11-2, and we won by 25 runs. :cool:

This weekend I'm being bumped up to the seconds; the firsts are missing 9 players so we're all shuffling about to fulfil our fixtures.

awesome, what part of the world are you playing in?

[thommo]

awesome, what part of the world are you playing in?

I'm in SW Wales so we're part of the South Wales Cricket Association. Our thirds are newly-formed so have come in at the bottom level. The firsts and seconds are part of the South Wales Premier Cricket League, so it'll be a bit of a step up this weekend I'm sure.

[niko_cee]

Maybe stop leaving lads.

[Ian]

Nae luck, Aussies, you won't catch Big Zak leaving the ball like that. :cool:

He'll be nicking it to slip.

[niko_cee]

Australia need to up there short mid-on game to match the line-of-sight blocking achieved on the off side and let them get away with these no balls.

[Ben]

Hazlewood for Starc in the Ashes I think.

[niko_cee]

Not convinced by that catch, although it is a tough one. Ball looks like it is split in his fingers, rather than them being under it, but maybe that's looking at it too much. Green was quite canny rolling his wrist to make it look more like a fair catch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was out. Indians deluding themselves / playing the victim as always.

[thommo]

As expected, Saturday was a complete mismatch. We had about only 3 regular second team players in our side and were up against one of the strongest teams in the league. And of course they won the toss and batted first, the greedy shits.

They made 313/4 in 45 overs and we were all out for under 100 inside 18. A second duck of the season for me but I'd say it was a little contentious; given out when it could have been drifting down leg AND hit me on the knee roll. What was more annoying was getting it in the ear from their fielders as I walked off - we were 7/4 in the 3rd over, there was really no need.

[Jimmy Floyd]

About 80% of the many, many weirdos in club cricket are to be found in 2nd XI. Good enough to reckon they're good, but not good enough to play at a proper level, it's just a cesspit of bitterness and strange behaviour.

I did a Div 1 game in south London this week, the home side had a massively quick West Indian opening bowler. He bounced one of the openers out, in walks the number three, his only protective headwear was a pair of Raybans. I honestly thought I was going to have skull fragments flying my way at square leg. Fortunately he was rubbish and got bowled before that could happen. The quickie then approached me after lunch to complain that the rather nice Moroccan spiced chicken we had been served was 'bland'. Other than telling him I was an umpire and therefore wasn't resonsible for the catering, it was a really fantastic effort by him to fulfil every possible stereotype. 'I like me food well seasoned, maaaan.' Marvellous.

[thommo]

:D I hope he was called Everton or something along those lines.

I saw an absolutely mental scorecard from down your way this weekend too. That pitch must have been a real road.

https://i.ibb.co/JHd1LGR/runs.png

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, that was pretty mad. There was also a Test match opening bat on each side, as well as the third Curran brother and various academy prospects. Oh and they're both in the bottom three. Basically a semi-pro league.

[Ben]

How do Ashtead only get 8 points, versus 13?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The result was a winning draw to Weybridge, who had the better run rate. Winning draw is 6pts to losing draw 2pts, and then there are bonus points for batting (up to 250, which they both got 5pts) and bowling (5, 7 and 9wkts).

Pretty useful declaration, really. Weybridge isn't normally all that flat so christ knows what was going on.

[Ben]

Just brought up that scorecard. Some good names in there. The left arm spinner that got pezzled all over by Powell played up our way for a good few years and he's actually a really good all rounder.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Steve Reeves? Nice guy, for a Saffa.

A Pucovski story (Weybridge is down the road from me so we hear all the juice). He rocked up for his overseas stint there the other week, about 4 weeks late, was shown to his accommodation somewhere and had a tantrum saying it wasn't good enough. As a result, the club secretary moved out of his own flat so that Pucovski could have it, and is now sleeping on a mattress in the upstairs scorebox at the club pavilion. Imagine being that much of a cuck so that some Aussie prick can get runs on a Saturday.

[Ben]

Yeah that's him.

And I'd say what a cunt Pucovski is but that's some spineless shit from the club sec so I've no sympathy.

[Max Power]

1668569129664618497

Is there too much Vibes? Are we going to fall flat on our face against a serious cricket team? Can there ever be too much vibes?

I genuinely cannot wait nor even come close to predicting how this series will go. Could literally be 5-0 either way, or 3-2 either way.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This quote from Moeen did set off alarm bells:


I spoke to Baz [McCullum] and he said he's not bothered about how I perform, which is quite nice.

I don't think it gets any more vibes than that.

[Ben]

Normally I'd be questioning it but after the pathetic micromanaging of numerous regimes in recent times, I don't give a shit.

[Max Power]

Oh yeah I’m all in on it - I just have no idea how it’s going to play out against a very good, experienced Australian side. Embrace the unknown, embrace the vibes.

[Ian]

This does a bit feel like the final exam for Bazball even though they've had lots of very good results and performances.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they win this 5-0 then Indian twitter will very quickly remind you that it is not the final exam.

For what it's worth my prediction is England comfortably. Key man is Ollie Robinson.

[Ben]

We’ve just been talking about it at club nets there and a few lads are very much in Team Ollie Robinson.

[niko_cee]

As in they rate him or that they're a bit racist?

[Danny]

1668884836847607808

Thats quite good from Jaffer. Though I assume, despite it being a joke, him not saying Tendulkar is punishable by death.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There isn't a worse bloke in the land than Kevin Peter Pietersen.

Surrey currently trying to chase 501, they are 349/3 with Sibley 90* off 326. Bazball baby.

[thommo]

It does seem on. I do love that this innings has been compiled from two completely polar opposite efforts - The Fridge, who is currently 98* off 362, and Jamie Smith's ridiculous 114 off 77.

[Ben]

The old timers must be have brain aneurysms at Ben Stokes, donned in bucket hat and shorts, giving it the "same shit, different day" mentality in the pre-Ashes presser. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've never been more convinced that we're going to absolutely smash them.

[niko_cee]

All out by lunch then?

[Ben]

After experiencing crushing defeats with mood hoovers such as Moores, Flower and Silverwood, I couldn't give a shit if we lose this. At least we'll have fun doing it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want a Crawley hundred before lunch and helicoptering his cock at the press box in celebration. Of course if he gets out for below 20 I'll be calling for his summary beheading in front of the RHS Wyatt stand.

[Ian]

I simply can't root for Zak Crawley.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rumours flying around of Mitch Marsh playing instead of Starc. In their heads already. Either that or they're in ours.

[Max Power]

That’s insane. Is the plan to bat us into oblivion knowing Stokes will always push for a win in any circumstances

[thommo]

No Mitch Marsh, but Hazlewood has come in for Starc. Batting first - I'm here for the Creepy 100.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Crawley's Ashes :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looks like their counter to Bazball is to put everyone on the fence from the off. Gutted Warney isn't here to seethe about this.

[Ben]

Warne would genuinely be supporting England here.

[Max Power]

The feedback from the Aussie ex-players on these tactics will be fascinating. Guess it depends if we are 450-3 or 300 all out at the close.

Crawley is striking it beautifully.

[Pleb]

Spicy start this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not appealing when they nicked someone off is shades of Ponting's various failed trips over here. Mon Zak.

[Max Power]

Could have done with Mark Wood in the side on this deck

[Jimmy Floyd]

12th time to fifty in 64 knocks. He owes us about 3,000 runs in this series. 2,950 to go.

[Kikó]

Always rated Crawley. Just needed time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are immense and finding weirdo cunt ways to get out. Have no fear.

[niko_cee]

I'm sure there were some weird ones back in 05 as well. One of the openers, probably Tresco being caught off his foot or the back of the bat or something weird off Warne rings a bell.

Shame as Brook was looking well set.

[Jimmy Floyd]

12th time to fifty in 64 knocks. He owes us about 3,000 runs in this series. 2,950 to go.

In contrast, Joe Root 90th time to fifty in 239 attempts. 38%. Unreal.

[niko_cee]

Of course England have multiple stumpings on day 1 of a test.

Looking at the weather this is probably going to be the best day to bat [or at least the toughest day to bowl] so can't help but feel we might have slightly missed a trick unless Joe and the Nighthawk can propel us on to 400+

No doubt we're thinking of having a dart at them tonight.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah up near 30 here is taxing for a full day in the field.

The end of this innings should set the tone. Getting Root a tonne and up over 400 would be a good days batting, especially considering the dull tactics of the opponent and a few dismissals you wouldn't usually see.

If this stutters and ends on 360 or so, you'd be a bit disappointed with that.

[Gray Fox]

Bazball giveth and Bazball taketh away.