The Cricket Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

Right, that was good. Now for Crawley to break Lara's world record and we're sorted.

[Waffdon]

The Benjamin’s looking decent.

[Ian]

Foakes really is a handsome fella.

[Ben]

Hales is back.

Replacement for Bairstow. I suppose u-turning on Roy so soon wouldn't be a good look.

[Ben]

Elgar isn't afraid of talking some shit is he? :D

About Harry Brook: "welcome to the big leagues...we didn't have our fast bowlers when you got some runs before, lad"

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am quite optimistic about Brook.

[Ameen1190]

A great information

[Ian]

Well done, Jimmy.

[Manc]

A great information

I agree.

[niko_cee]

It seems slightly odd to me that the toss has been done considering there was no play possible at all today. Probably be glorious sunny batting conditions tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know the international playing conditions, but if they at some point deemed it suitable for play then they could have tossed. If it was never suitable for play then it's a bit of a mystery.

[Ben]

They definitely intended to get going at one point during the afternoon before the rain came back. I wasn’t watching much so don’t know if they tossed up just before that or at 10:30.

[niko_cee]

The King ushering in a new age of sporting dominance.

[thommo]

1568541988961636354

:d

[Jimmy Floyd]

The naked boundary rope is lovely. Bring it back. Fuck Vitality and all who sail in them. Or Royal London, or whoever it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was such a bad decision for someone who's (somehow) on the ICC Elite Panel. Real rank poor decision.

I also can't believe commentators keep saying the umpires can't tell when bowlers are going wide on the crease. Eyes tend to help.

[Ian]

What an absolute Bairstow of an LBW review from Crawley there.

[Gray Fox]

On the day of Her Majesty too. Jimmy is going to be furious.

[Lewis]

Today I learned what a 'Mankad' is and lol what a move. The women bealing over it as well. :harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's one of those weird anomalies/unsolvable problems, because the laws are very clear on it, but it sends people into uncontrollable fits of moralistic rage whenever it happens. It happened in a league game I was doing this year (Indian bowler in a mainly white team) and I said to them if you're appealing for this it's going to be out, at which point the captain said 'That's not how we play the game' and withdrew the appeal, much to the bowler's chagrin.

It's one of the areas where I think English culture fails us, with phrases like 'not cricket' and the even worse 'spirit of cricket' making us sound like some nonsense 1920s public school nightmare.

[Ben]

I’ve seen someone get their teeth smashed in for upholding their appeal on one of these. The lad was a cunt so whatever. The aggressor was a nice lad by all accounts but he got banished for life obviously.

I myself have been done by one in the past. I was more than likely winning the game for us so naturally I seethed about spirit of the game etc.

[thommo]

In general I'm not against the action, especially when some batsmen are taking the piss, charging yards down the pitch at the point of delivery. The one yesterday does just smack of "We've run out of ideas, we need to win through any means possible". At the expected point of release, Dean is probably in the crease and beginning to walk with the delivery. But I expect nothing less from India. An insufferable group of players and an even worse fanbase.

[niko_cee]

It's difficult because there is a balance to be had between batsmen taking the piss [which they do] and 'spirit of the game'/not being a shithouse. Because it's a batsman's game the balance has tilted too far towards being able to take the piss and they're often yards out of the crease at the point of delivery, at the same time, I don't think the ball should really be considered live until it has left the bowler's hand. Maybe it should be like a running on the pitch thing where the umpire has the power to warn, and eventually remove a batsman for persistent/egregious infringements.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are lots of alternatives, like penalty runs or whatever, but the MCC laws commitee have actually strengthened the law on it recently so they're obviously in no doubt.

[Max Power]

Won’t be long before Rehan Ahmed plays for England

[Ben]

I didn't realise he could bat as well.

[niko_cee]

This is insane from England.

[thommo]

20 boundaries off the first 42 balls, 50 up inside 3 overs, 100 up inside 7. Mental.

[Ian]

T20. :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Weirdly that game sorts all Pakistan's selection dilemmas but creates more for us.

Bumrah out of the tournament injured has cheered me up at least.

[Max Power]

Really don’t know how we fit everyone in. Batting looks stacked - some very good players are going to miss out.

[Ben]

In great news for the neutral because it massively increases the chance they’ll flame out at the group stage, Bumrah is out of the T20 World Cup. I’m actually surprised it’s taken him this long to fuck his back with that bowling action.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They have Pakistan first up as always, if they lose that then it might be a long way back as they also have South Africa (at Perth!) and potentially West Indies to find a way past. I'm discounting Bangladesh who are garbage.

We are going to fuck it, both Aus and NZ in our group, probably Sri Lanka (the revenge of Chris Silverwood) and Zimbabwe/Scotland/Ireland all of whom are nailed on upsets.

[Max Power]

1577577772293099520

Good lord.

[thommo]

That sound off the bat. :drool:

[Ben]

:drool:

Why is the ground empty though?

[Queenslander]

:drool:

Why is the ground empty though?

The Gold Coast is a wasteland they don't even fill the stadium for AFL

Also it's not cricket season for the general public our season is from November to January anything that falls outside of that wont draw big crowds.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Stokes/Hales partnership packs a punch.

[niko_cee]

:henn0rz:

The depth of our batting options is mad. I'm sure an ignominious [and inexplicable] exit at the hands of New Zealand awaits. Genuine full-on miracle we won that 50 over final that time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Test squad named for Pakistan with one specialist spinner in it. Also a return for Keaton Jennings, which I think is like our version of the Chinese Year of the Rat, but comes around slightly more often.

I can picture there being a lot of cocaine involved in the Bazball selection meetings.

[Ian]

Jennings. :moop:

[Danny]

He’s had a great year in the champ but you just know he isn’t good enough

[thommo]

Jennings is good against spin, so it makes sense to take him for sub-continental pitches.

[Jimmy Floyd]

But not to take anyone who can bowl it.

[Ben]

Jacks and Livingstone will fill that second spot no problem. :eyemouth:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jennings
ZAK CRAWLEY ALPHA MALE
Pope
Root
Brook
Stokes
Foakes

Wood/Robinson
Leach
Anderson

Are we playing Will Jacks at eight? What a time to be alive.

[Danny]

How has Crawley kept his place over Lees :face:

[Ian]

Crawley and Jennings as an opening pair genuinely makes me want us to get splatted in every game. Repulsive stuff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Och aye the noo.

[niko_cee]

Are these defeats for Windies/Sri Lanka going to be meaningful or are they still going to worm their way into the group stages proper?

And why is Ireland's game scheduled to start at 10.01 [our time]?

[Max Power]

Sri Lanka may be in trouble as their match against Holland may well be rained off.

[John Arne]

Are these defeats for Windies/Sri Lanka going to be meaningful or are they still going to worm their way into the group stages proper?

And why is Ireland's game scheduled to start at 10.01 [our time]?

One minute rendition of 'Up the RA'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

+1 for calling them 'Holland'. Proper 1996 World Cup vibes.

https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/feb-1996-domonic-cork-of-england-takes-the-wicket-of-peter-cantell-of-picture-id1244751?s=612x612

[niko_cee]

That's a great picture.

The last 2 overs of the Australia v India game sound like they were quite funny.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This stuff is the absolute pits. A new low for world sport. (from the cricinfo live text)


Netherlands captain Scott Edwards can no longer contain his smiles sitting in the stands at Geelong watching this chase unfold. A UAE win puts Netherlands into the Super 12s. It's a moment he's not going to soon forget. Is it a Crictos moment?

If any of you collect player cards, autographed bats or other memorabilia from cricket games, you may be interested in their digital versions. This World Cup, the cricket world is meeting the world of digital collectibles. ESPNcricinfo's digital collectibles affiliates FanCraze and the ICC are allowing fans to buy iconic moments from each match of the World Cup called the Crictos of the game. We'll also have a weekly video series here on ESPNcricinfo with our experts picking our favourite moments of the week.

[Ben]

That is just random words put together. I can't fathom what the fuck they're going on about. So it's definitely got Indian fingers all over it.

[Max Power]

A recent nugget from the Grade Cricketer episode with Harsha Bhogle was that Alan Wilkins has lost a load of money in BitCoin. I can’t quite put my finger on it but that just seems perfect.

[igor_balis]

impressive of namibia to fuck up qualifying after beating sri lanka

[Jimmy Floyd]

It means we have to face Sri Lanka and maybe West Indies in our group. What could possibly go wrong etc.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A recent nugget from the Grade Cricketer episode with Harsha Bhogle was that Alan Wilkins has lost a load of money in BitCoin. I can’t quite put my finger on it but that just seems perfect.

Oh god yes. Alan Wilkins is like a poster boy for all the worst aspects of 21st century life. Fuck knows how, but he is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

West Indies are fucking terrible. It's quite sad listening to the pain in Ian Bishop's voice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

New Zealand pieing the Aussies around in a :drool: kit, enjoying this opener to the main section.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, was going to come in and say that if they've managed to roll out classic Aussie [read hellishly flat] pitches for this tournament then there are going to be some serious scores.

[Max Power]

Kiwi kit is a beauty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That Warner dismissal, two minutes after snarling aggressively at Boult for no reason, was a thing of real beauty. A vile man who deserves only misery and failure.

[hfswjyr]

Kiwi kit is a beauty.

Kit is a travesty.
Is it supposed to be ironic on purpose? I can't tell these days.

[Ben]

I see the Saudi regime sportswashing outfit Aramco has finally wormed its way into cricket.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ten balls in and Pakistan have yet to hit the ball once. Asian players remain utterly clueless against any kind of lateral movement.

[Ben]

Ashwin on brand there.

[Max Power]

More brilliant nonsense from Pakistan.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely nothing like Pakistan pacemen coming at India defending a possibly substandard total. Utter mayhem.

Naseem Shah's bowling action must be the prettiest in world cricket.

[Max Power]

Harris Rauf = WHEELS

[Jimmy Floyd]

Successfully effecting a run out despite botching both parts of it. This is peak Pakistan.

[thommo]

Begrudgingly, those last two sixes from Kohli were stunning. This would be a classic Pakistan bottlejob if India pull this off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's just been a brilliant game, the best of what T20 can deliver when it's balanced between bat and ball rather than a slogfest.

[Ben]

Kohli will cry about the new no-cross rule if they don’t do this. Karthik’s helmet is the worst I’ve ever seen.

[Ben]

That’s never a no ball. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nawaz has completely lost his head here. Shaheen has probably lost them the game with his poor 18th over.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That’s never a no ball. :D

Absolute guesswork to say it was a no ball. It might have been, but pure guess to call it.

Carnage out here. 3 runs from being bowled.

[thommo]

I hate the fact you basically get 2 free hits from a no ball in ODIs and T20s. Makes no sense whatsoever.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The lack of nerve from Nawaz in that last over was amazing. Two wides, a noey and another one that was nearly a noey. Without that Pakistan win easily.

[thommo]

When he got it right, India were floundering too. Got Pandya out, bowled Kohli on the free hit, cramped up Karthik to get him out.

He also gave away 3 sixes in his 3rd over earlier in the innings too.

[Ben]

That was predictably insane. I could rock up to any random A1 Taxis vs. Waterloo News T20 on a Wednesday night down the local rec and see pretty much the same amount of cricketing nouse. The only difference is that the pros hit it a bit further and bowl a bit quicker.

[Max Power]

Thrilling match. Kohli’s six down the ground on the penultimate ball of the 19th was unreal.

Feel they should have slipped in Nawaz in the 18th.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think I agreed with the captain on when he bowled the bowlers, they just all let him down to varying degrees. Afridi and Rauf's respective final balls were leg side shit, and Nawaz barely had his action for half the over.

It's been a cracking tournament so far, have to say.

[niko_cee]

Interesting if the level of rain they are playing in here sets the standard for what is acceptable going forward.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It won't, they just love getting results, especially if it involves a 'big' side winning.

[niko_cee]

No dice. Bad luck South Africa. Bit farcical really.

[Ben]

It wouldn't be a World Cup without a wobble against Ireland or Netherlands.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're ballsed if it rains soon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hands loik pats o'butter in de field. We've got this.

EDIT: We haven't got this.

[Ben]

Well done. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm just trying to see how far I have to go before Giggles enters the cricket thread.

[Ben]

We love dropping our standards to the opposition's level. Batted like twats against Afghanistan and again today. Then we'll go and destroy Australia on Friday.

[Ben]

Just seen we've got Joel Wilson as umpire in the Australia game. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're toast here. Carnage in this group especially if NZ and Afghanistan get rained off subsequently.

[thommo]

It's what we get for being so scratchy at the top of the order today. Having said that, I think we'd have got home fairly comfortably in the end if we got the full 20 overs in.

[Ben]

That's no excuse. We knew weather was around. Moeen should have gone in at four.

[Giggles]

I'm just trying to see how far I have to go before Giggles enters the cricket thread.

I'm afraid you'll need to do a lot more marbles in the mouth for the cricket team. Think Leinstor rogby with a bit of loyalist sprinkled in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's no excuse. We knew weather was around. Moeen should have gone in at four.

Pros rarely play for weather, in my experience, which is utterly mental. I spent most of my club captaincy career looking at radars and changing batting orders accordingly.

[Ben]

I thought you'd love the cricket Giggles. They're All-Ireland. Fuck them unionists.

[Ben]

Pros rarely play for weather, in my experience, which is utterly mental. I spent most of my club captaincy career looking at radars and changing batting orders accordingly.

Agreed. In our league it's very advantageous to bowl first (stupid draw points), unless rain is due, then you bat first because you control the game as only the team batting second loses overs so it's up to the team batting first to declare to even it out. Even 25 stone 4th XI specialist slip fielders know that.

[Giggles]

I thought you'd love the cricket Giggles. They're All-Ireland. Fuck them unionists.

I like the sport but they're not All-Ireland, they're All-Ireland + Northern Ireland like rugby is. No team that includes NI interests me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our limited overs games used to have an insane rain rule. If it rained in the first innings, the team batting first would have to complete their 50 overs regardless, and all the lost overs would come off the second innings. Then the run chase would be at the same run rate as the first innings. So you'd often have a team score 240 off 50 overs, and the opponents having to chase 120 in 25.

Fortunately that fell to DLS a few years ago. The time games are 100 overs and the side batting first can go to 55 (or 120/66 in the Prem), so rain basically means the side batting first can't win.

Then you have the classic scenario as befell South Africa the other night where you're beyond the DLS target but haven't completed the requisite overs, so the game is abandoned. Never seen club cricketers seethe as much as they do in that circumstance.

[niko_cee]

It did strike me as an odd time of year for this to be happening [unless this is some sort of covid hangover] but I guess it just shows where International T20 sits in the pecking order. Presume the BBL gets to keep the prime summer slot where a major tournament in Australia really ought to be.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The BBL is in danger of getting banjaxed by this Dubai rubbish happening at the same time, not that I'd mourn it too much.

The international cricket schedule exists to serve/pay, what, about 400 people? Maybe 500 after the BCCI brown envelopes have been handed round. It's insanity.

[niko_cee]

They'd have been as well hosting this here by the looks of things.

[Max Power]

Been a good tournament for games that have been completed :moop:

[Ben]

Baffling that it's so early in the summer.

[niko_cee]

Trashwin going the distance. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Now he's looking for the mankad.

:D

They really can't help themselves.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do or die defence of 179 coming up here. That loss to Ireland really was a shambles.

[niko_cee]

We'll probably get this down to them needing 36 off the last over and then lose.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, here we go, 32 off 7 balls, 6 . . .

[hfswjyr]

21 off 1 ball...

No?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gave away a bit of net run rate at the end, poor performance by England.

I see the new thing is that we will 'know exactly what we have to do' in our final game v SL after the Aussies eviscerate Afghanistan on Friday. Of course there is zero chance that anything could go wrong for us vs Sri Lanka in a World Cup, and even if we need to chase 190 in 13.4 overs we should saunter home. We'll never learn.

[Jimmy Floyd]

From my calculations, Aus have to win by 60 runs or inside 14 overs vs Afghanistan to overtake our NRR. So we've got to have a decent chance of only needing the win. Afghans crumbling for 50 or whatever would be the thing that puts us up shit creek.

[niko_cee]

I always find net run rate to be such a baffling thing. It'll be no way for whoever gets fucked by it to go out of the tournament.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do it on boundary count I say, or some other arbitrary measure designed to make people seethe. Fewest wheels on national flag.

[Danny]

The amount of India cricket twitter seethe on the boundary count is already glorious. Make it so :drool:

[Ben]

Taskin Ahmed looks a cracking bowler these days.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Only 27, too, feels like he's been around since about 2003.

[Jimmy Floyd]

By Christ, please rain harder.

[Ian]

I'm going to have to look up that Warner wicket because it sounds excellent. Hey fucked, Davey.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was half watching the screen over the top of my laptop (wfh, baby) and thought it was Marsh out at first.

Cracking wasted review by Smith with the stumps being obliterated. Reviewing just doesn't sit well in the Aussie macho psyche. 'Gotta go for it, mate'.

[Ian]

Just seen both, lovely stuff.

[niko_cee]

Strange goings on in this one. Afganistan cruising to the England just need a win total and then all of a sudden wickets start tumbling [realistically I guess we are now at England just need a win but whatever].

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's their way of saying thank you for our 20 years of efforts in their country.

[niko_cee]

Rashid Khan obviously a big dog lover.

[niko_cee]

Crikey, that was nearly an ending and a half.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Think they would have won it but for the spasm in the middle. Australia a poor side really given their resources.

Now we just have to beat Sri Lanka, what could possibly go wrong etc.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, now watch Australia somehow win the whole thing [obviously beating a meek New Zealand in the final].

[Ben]

Very scruffy start from England.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're never chasing anything on this deck. Game raising pricks. Russel Arnold's voice before my morning coffee again, it's like a seethe alarm.

[Max Power]

Dragged it back well. Will cruise this chase.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're cruising fuck all. Hasaranga 6/12.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, Rashid going at 4 and Moeen at 5 in his ONE (!) over doesn't really bode all that well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If JC Buttler goes off fast we'll be alright, otherwise it's struggle street, especially with Malan crocked in a situation tailor made for him. 21 off the last 4 for Sri Lanka. Well batted lads.

[Giggles]

Is this like what Liverpool fans do?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pretty much, but with more justification.

I'm surprised 'mystery spin' hasn't been put in the racist bin yet. Never seen a white 'mystery' spinner. Is it just a way of saying they're throwing it?

[Dave.]

Pretty much, but with more justification.

I'm surprised 'mystery spin' hasn't been put in the racist bin yet. Never seen a white 'mystery' spinner. Is it just a way of saying they're throwing it?

Alex Loudon?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well his one-game England career was certainly a mystery.

Sri Lanka well on top here.

[Ben]

Mystery spinners almost always bowl straight up and down dobbers, it just comes out the hand funny. That Mendis bloke faded away when everyone realised he did fuck all with it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Before sacking it off to become an umpire, I used to bowl left arm mystery straight up and down 'spin'. One time I was on about 3/1 or something on a wet pitch (my favourite) and the incoming batsman was told by his partner 'Be careful mate, he's got the one that goes on with the arm'. Brother, that's literally the only ball I've ever bowled.

[Ben]

Mystery spin strikes again. :D

[Dave.]

Why Malan hasn't batted yet is baffling. Should have been in at 3 or 4.

[Dave.]

Well his one-game England career was certainly a mystery.

:D

[niko_cee]

Before sacking it off to become an umpire, I used to bowl left arm mystery straight up and down 'spin'. One time I was on about 3/1 or something on a wet pitch (my favourite) and the incoming batsman was told by his partner 'Be careful mate, he's got the one that goes on with the arm'. Brother, that's literally the only ball I've ever bowled.

:D

Left arm non-spin, is there a more deadly form of bowling against English batsmen?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why Malan hasn't batted yet is baffling. Should have been in at 3 or 4.

He's crocked.

Luckily their dogshit seamers will soon be back to save the day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Great shot Mo.

[thommo]

Sri Lanka doing all they can to not bowl their pacers.

[Ben]

This is a tremendous wobble.

[Dave.]

Absolutely tremendous.:moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I forgot about Chris Woakes. Truly the man for all seasons.

[thommo]

That over was utter tripe, and yet we've only scored 2 and lost a wicket. What are we doing?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Woakes running twos from the non-striker's end truly a joy to watch. Box office T20 cricket at its best.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's 3am now but I am so delighted to have ended up staying up to witness the greatest choke of all time.

Not a shred of backbone in that SA team. Roelof van der Merwe running catch to dismiss Miller was absolutely unreal.

[Max Power]

That is unbelievable news to wake up to. No team has choking in their DNA than the SA cricket team.

[Ben]

Roelof van der Merwe running catch to dismiss Miller was absolutely unreal.

Yeah that was brilliant.

[Dave.]

A cricket tournament wouldn't be a cricket tournament without South Africa choking.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Apart from Nortje, who was magnificent, they were absolutely pathetic (and Holland were really good). Rabada was particularly useless with the ball, and Bavuma sat there all innings as if a swarm of wasps had flown into his mouth. The scenes at the end when they sent in Keshav Maharaj to literally hop singles on one leg for the last three overs when they needed 12s+ summed it all up.

That also qualified Holland for the next World Cup and consigned Zimbabwe to African regional qualifying.

Pakistan back from the dead as per.

[Ben]

Pakistan cruising into the final. What a shithouse tournament it has been. :D

Part of me wants to see a Pakistan-India final (and Pakistan to win) even though that would mean we get beat tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pakistan don't do cruising. Pile on New Zealand.

[Ben]

NZ are only 5/1, that's fucking dreadful.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The bookies know.

Just want to be very clear that I want us to beat fucking India tomorrow. I want Harsha Bhogle to do a 15 tweet thread about how unfair it all is. I want curry off the menu across Britain. I want the Viceroy back in his office by Monday morning.

[Dave.]

The bookies know.

Just want to be very clear that I want us to beat fucking India tomorrow. I want Harsha Bhogle to do a 15 tweet thread about how unfair it all is. I want curry off the menu across Britain. I want the Viceroy back in his office by Monday morning.

How about us winning by one run and the final wicket coming by Mankad off the last ball? That seems perfect.

[Ben]

It'll be pretty glorious when Mark Wood mankads Ashwin then gives him a proper Yakka send off.

[Ian]

Nothing T20 related is worth even jokingly bad-mouthing curry for.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Personally I love a T20, it's about as short as you can go while retaining 10 wickets representing meaningful jeopardy, and the risk-reward dynamic is a microcosm of the other forms of cricket. Large boundaries help as well.

If they ever bring in substitutes / specialists, as idiots want to do, that will kill it as the wickets will cease to have value and it will turn into a six hitting procession.

[Ian]

Basically everything loses any meaning for me when it's all crammed into every game.

I may watch the semi and final.if we get in because most things are okay if the stakes are high enough but broadly, meh. Pointless and all consuming.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shastri called Chris Woakes a 'slippery customer', must be a first for Woakesy. Early wicket brings Kohli in.

[Max Power]

Nasser fucking hates India you can tell. Itching for a win today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yes, fuck off 'Sky'. You are shit.

[Ian]

Turned this on in time to hear some dickhead doing call and response shit over the tannoy. Is this how much constant distraction a T20 crowd requires?

[Ian]

Ah piss, Kohli getting DRS'd out would have been a nice start to the day.

[thommo]

Feel a bit shafted on that DRS, I'm sure Reiffel didn't give it as he thought there was a nick.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He didn't give it out because it was Kohli in front of a massive Indian crowd. Rod Tucker would have pulled the trigger.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There you go. Doesn't walk when he's bowled, doesn't walk when he chips it to short third. Imagine the ego involved.

[Ben]

Horrible team. Kohli's got an ego bigger than the stadium and then you've got Surya, Pandya and Pant who are all scruffy as fuck. Never played an orthodox drive in their lives. The openers are good to watch then it descends into midweek cricket shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't understand all these weirdos who say Rishabh Pant is their favourite cricketer. Like watching an overpowered 14 year old with no talent whomp a bat at the under 12s.

Think we've got a chance here if we get off to a flyer. Salt could be a secret weapon.

[Ben]

The silence when India concede a boundary. :drool:

[Ian]

There you go. Doesn't walk when he's bowled, doesn't walk when he chips it to short third. Imagine the ego involved.

Was it Mo or Rashid who clean bowled him and he looked like he was asking his mate if he should appeal?

[Ben]

Mo I think. Through the gate Vaughan-to-Ponting style.

[Ben]

Fair play to Eoin Morgan, he's giving Hales all the credit when it's due.

[thommo]

Was it Mo or Rashid who clean bowled him and he looked like he was asking his mate if he should appeal?

It was Mo. And he didn't go until the umpires reviewed it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shastri/Morgan is such a surreal commentary pairing.

[Ben]

Anything involving Shastri is surreal. The bloke is nuts.

[Ian]

A racism-fuelled innings from Hales here so far. He's probably jist hoping the ball hits somebody in the crowd who wasn't paying attention.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reiffel is all over the place here. Knows he should have given Kohli out and head has gone. I've been there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

OK, cricket has finally peaked with that relay throw. There's nothing better even theoretically possible.

[Ben]

:lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are shaping for a mankad here. Keep your heads boys.

[Ben]

I wish Bob Willis was still around to analyse this Indian bowling performance. His verbal murder of Xavier Doherty remains one of Sky's all-time great moments.

[Max Power]

What a demolition :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is one of the most comprehensive poundings I can recall England dishing out in this sport. 2019 semi-final vibes.

[Ben]

This is a massacre.

[Ian]

I wish Bob Willis was still around to analyse this Indian bowling performance. His verbal murder of Xavier Doherty remains one of Sky's all-time great moments.

I don't remember that one but I always think of poor old Simon Kerrigan getting the treatment from Bob

"Unfortunately Simple Simon was the pie-man today."

[thommo]

The guy writing the BBC live text is not holding back on India. :drool:

[Ben]

I don't remember that one but I always think of poor old Simon Kerrigan getting the treatment from Bob

"Unfortunately Simple Simon was the pie-man today."

I've tried YouTube but it seems to have disappeared into the ether.

"I've never seen such unmitigated tripe served up at Test match level" is one quote that stands out in my mind. It was on those review shows; Charles Colville kept trying to move the show on and Bob would keep going back to poor Xavier. :D

[Max Power]

Dropped for four. DONKEYS IN THE FIELD

[Jimmy Floyd]

That dropped catch and the relay throw, jesus christ, it's like we're playing against Belgium or something in some weird amateur mismatch.

Time to get on ICF, it's been a while.

[thommo]

:lol:

[igor_balis]

Spoil sport Butler preventing Hales getting his 100 the only minor disappointment of this absolute hilarity.

[Ben]

Interesting that we didn't see "Virat" on screen once during that chase. Normally he's never off camera when things are going well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nass absolutely loving life.

Final is going to be rained off so we might end up with a short game on Monday or even a shared trophy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Interesting that we didn't see "Virat" on screen once during that chase. Normally he's never off camera when things are going well.

I noticed him patrolling the boundary earlier, seemed weirdly out of place, he's normally in the ring glaring at people. Rohit will have to resign after that. Probably shouldn't be in the side, even.

[thommo]

We had that one lingering shot early on when he was fielding in close, pointing a finger at Hales. They showed that about 5 times to the delight of the crowd. Didn't last long.

[niko_cee]

Gavun Williamson to be the new viceroy?

[Ben]

A particular highlight was Pandya pulling his puds out to get the crowd whipped up out of their shocked silence. They finally responded then Axar proceeded to immediately serve up a long hop to which Hales quickly re-silenced them. :D

[Ian]

I picked a good time to watch my first match of the tournament.

[hfswjyr]

Can we claim this as another win for Bazball?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Eoin Morgan smiling like a proud dad in all these interviews tells you who the architect of this was.

The great thing about playing Pakistan in the final is I am quite cool with us losing it. Very likeable team, unlike these chumps we've just flattened.

[Gray Fox]

Indian chap at work absolutely disconsolate. Was it that bad?

If so I look forward to India Cricket Twitter.

[Ben]

Oh yes, they'll be in full on meltdown.

[Ian]

Indian chap at work absolutely disconsolate. Was it that bad?

If so I look forward to India Cricket Twitter.

It was a proper pasting punctuated with some proper lols from them in the field.

[Ben]

I just had a look at Twitter and predictably, it's nuts. Rohit OUT, Rahul OUT, even Kohli OUT. Presumably they think having a top order full of nuggets like their middle order is the way to go.

Ashwin is finished though and I'm absolutely loving it.

[thommo]

a particular highlight was pandya pulling his puds out to get the crowd whipped up out of their shocked silence. They finally responded then axar proceeded to immediately serve up a long hop to which hales quickly re-silenced them. :d

1590658711340855296

:lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hales slog sweeping Trashwin's T20 career into oblivion was another highlight. What a game.

[Danny]

These game times have been terrible for me. Game ended before I was even up this morning but was lovely to wake up to.

Going to have to avoid the world and watch the final on delay Sunday.

[Ben]

That was the worst bit of CGI I've ever seen. :lol:

[niko_cee]

Just the cricket team left to avert the sort of 24 hours of sporting disaster than only England can really serve up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Woakesy's favoured line of 4th stump outside leg really paying off today, or not.

[Max Power]

Think I’m gonna be nervous chasing anything in a final against Pakistan but fairly pleasing start.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hostage to fortune saying this, but I'm not sure they have a Hardik Pandya who can blitz them to 180 or whatever. Maybe shifty Ifty. Want them under 160 really from an England point of view.

[Ben]

That Haris lad is a bit of a space cadet.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I really hope that lad from Leicester turns out to be the real deal, because we ain't ever replacing Rashid otherwise.

[Ben]

It's a massive shame he doesn't play red ball.

[Ben]

That Rishi Sunak sign is the most bizarre sign I've ever seen in a cricketing crowd, and Pakistan bring a lot of candidates for that to every match.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Next year I'm taking an I LOVE YOU MICHAEL GOVE to a Blast game.

[Ben]

A great effort. With them 82-2 after 11, it could have been about 170. Only downside is this is the type of chase we are shit at.

[thommo]

Despite knocking 28 off of 3, this already feels remarkably nervy.

[Ben]

Here we go.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Stokes-related narrative inevitable.

There's nothing in cricket like receiving a 5 wides in a tight situation. Absolutely magical.

[Ben]

That's obscene from Buttler.

[Max Power]

Just think there is too much batting depth for this small total but when Pakistan get on a roll…

[Jimmy Floyd]

We just have to sit on Shadab here and leave ourselves any kind of platform to attack pace on later. Proper Stokes situation. If he gets out we might be in some strife.

Could do without it raining, mind.

[thommo]

I imagine with 3 down we're a bit behind DLS currently too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's 66 after 10 overs three down, 70 four down.

[thommo]

Is it really that low? Colour me surprised.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've never seen a team appeal so many times in one innings for balls that are missing the outside edge by a foot. Completely delusional set of people.

[thommo]

This is painful to watch. 12/1 off the last 4 overs, they've really tightened it up.

[Ben]

Rizwan needs to fuck off appealing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Naseem beat the bat 11 times in 24 balls, and ended 0/30. Unlucky kid.

[Kikó]

Very squeaky bum time.

[Ben]

:cool:

[Ben]

Naseem beat the bat 11 times in 24 balls, and ended 0/30. Unlucky kid.

That's why I hung up the bowling boots. Story of my Saturdays.

[Kikó]

Stokes is some player.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's almost like the cricket gods have written his script in these games. On about 30 he clothed one towards long off and turned away in disgust thinking he was caught, only for it to drop well short. Then of course he's there at the end.

[thommo]

I was very close to posting something along the lines of "Stokes needs to hit out or get out here" when we had that really stagnant few overs. But he's always the key for England, he has this innate ability to produce in the toughest and most important moments.

[Max Power]

He’s an absolute champion. Would normally steer clear of perceived puff piece documentaries but his one on Amazon recently is really good - made me like him even more.