The little things in life that fuck you off

[Lee]

Surely the one queue system is fairer though? You're there in order of arrival time and you get the next available slot. I get properly mardy if I end up picking a slow queue. I think it was Bill Bryson who highlighted the genius of the British habit of forming a single queue for several check outs. He was right. :cool:

[SvN]

While I agree with Lee in principle, the problem is that there's no cordons or barriers to facilitate the queue. So you just end up with a huge gathering of people. You need winding queues like Alton Towers.

[Yevrah]

Surely the one queue system is fairer though? You're there in order or arrival time and you get the next available slot.

Except you don't, because when the queue shrinks, the whole thing thins out to each till anyway. And the lottery (like penalties it's not, there's a skill to it) of which one you pick is a glorious thing.

[Yevrah]

You need winding queues like Alton Towers.

Or people just queuing at each till. They manage this perfectly fine in supermarkets.

[Lee]

Except you don't, because when the queue shrinks, the whole thing thins out to each till anyway. And the lottery (like penalties it's not, there's a skill to it) of which one you pick is a glorious thing.

Dunno. It's not always possible to identify the complete spastic who doesn't have a clue what they're doing when they encounter an actual person at the end. The fucking anger I feel when some old twat starts counting out the coppers.

[Davgooner]

Don't worry, more and more are putting in self-serve kiosks. You'll never feel more like a don than when you're using one of them.

[SvN]

I'd rather queue for self service rather than go to an empty till manned by a person.

[Lee]

I prefer a person. Unless the person is the far-too-cheerful woman at Morrisons. I can't be doing with that. I'm in a supermarket, life at this moment is shit. Fuck off.

[Giggles]

What sort of McDonald's do you have over there that they're remotely comparable to a supermarket? Any I seen were a single counter with some tills on it.

[Baz]

Don't worry, more and more are putting in self-serve kiosks. You'll never feel more like a don than when you're using one of them.Its rude not to steal an extra packet of football stickers when you use those.

[phonics]

They've instituted the self-serve stuff here but it's stuck in some absolute bobbins half way house. You go over to the screen and tap out what you want and then you get in a queue and give the bloke a ticket with a number on, at which point he tells you 'That'll be ludicrous price because Switzerland has the most expensive McDonalds in the world please'

It's madness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I went to 'Five Guys' last year there were some truly harrowing scenes concerning the method of ordering, queuing for and collecting your burger, chips and drink. It's best not to go back over them in detail for psychological reasons, but it was a like a shoe shop, motorway service station cafe, and row of vending machines all rolled into one.

[igor_balis]

I thought Five Guys was shit anyway, but I did go there with a horrible hangover. Worth a reappraisal, till confusion aside?

[phonics]

France is literally a 20 minute bus away and I could get a 40% discount

http://i.imgur.com/PHbb0rC.png

[Davgooner]

I read yesterday that McDonalds employees in Denmark get $20 an hour. :cool:

[Giggles]

I read yesterday that McDonalds employees in Denmark get $20 an hour. :cool:

Isn't an onion in Denmark around $5 though?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I thought Five Guys was shit anyway, but I did go there with a horrible hangover. Worth a reappraisal, till confusion aside?

Absolute wank for the price you pay.

[Magic]

Byron is a new shit burger place that's out now. Expensive shit.

[Boydy]

Byron's been around for ages.

GBK is still the best one.

Five Guys isn't much better than a Big Tasty from McDonald's but at three times the price.

[Giggles]

There's been petitions to get them to open here and people lost their shit when a pop up appeared one day. But that's just the sort of wankery associated with Dublin these days.

[Magic]

Byron's been around for ages.

GBK is still the best one.

Five Guys isn't much better than a Big Tasty from McDonald's but at three times the price.

Not in Scotland.

[Kikó]

Fuck off with the five guys hate.

[Lewis]

The problem with the McDonald's tills is that the people on them are constantly buzzing into the back to get orders, which makes people think that the tills aren't manned. If they set up a system where people were on the tills constantly, and the other gimps passed them things, it would facilitate several queues.

[Magic]

Burger King >>>>>>>> McDonald's.

[Giggles]

Burger King >>>>>>>> McDonald's.

Massively so for the simple fact they have a burger on the menu without slop, so you won't have to park in the silly box while they figure out how to make it differently.

[phonics]

Burger King is too expensive but the chips are too good to turn down.

[Davgooner]

I value the fact their burgers are actually decent, as opposed to the vacuum-packed shite from McDonalds.

[Yevrah]

What sort of McDonald's do you have over there that they're remotely comparable to a supermarket? Any I seen were a single counter with some tills on it.

They're a row of tills with people manning them, it's the same thing.

[Yevrah]

As for Five Guys, I loved it when I went, but I was a) wasted and b) absolutely staggered by the prices charged.

[Magic]

I value the fact their burgers are actually decent, as opposed to the vacuum-packed shite from McDonalds.

Indeed. Last time I was at McDs it was like someone had pulverised a still birth and stuck it on a previously frozen microwaved smartprice attempt at a burger bun.

[Giggles]

They're a row of tills with people manning them, it's the same thing.

So your supermarkets are different then?

Any supermarket I was ever in had completely separate tills where you put your stuff on a separate belt for that till, so no wonder they have separate queues.

[Yevrah]

Burger King is toss. Their burgers and roll combo comes off far too dry.

[Boydy]

McDonald's is great (for what it is) and anyone who says otherwise is a dickhead.

[Yevrah]

So your supermarkets are different then?

Any supermarket I was ever in had completely separate tills where you put your stuff on a separate belt for that till, so no wonder they have separate queues.

In that setup, what is there that stops everyone queuing down aisle 3, before funneling to the next available till?

[Giggles]

In that setup, what is there that stops everyone queuing down aisle 3, before funneling to the next available till?

They're separate. All the tills aren't on one single counter.

[Boydy]

Lewis nailed the problem here.

[Yevrah]

They're separate. All the tills aren't on one single counter.

What difference does that make. Are they not separate tills because they're bolted to the same bit of wood?

[Giggles]

If you think they're the same then we're talking about different things.

McDonalds:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S7GOUC-9OZk/T-kUoa1IiNI/AAAAAAAACQw/Hq2RvdfLE9k/s1600/article-0-13C783C2000005DC-900_964x641.jpg



Supermarket:

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/B14A51/supermarket-checkout-counters-B14A51.jpg

[Davgooner]

That's a fucking huge McDonalds.

[Yevrah]

We're talking about the same thing, what I'm trying to get at is why you think they're different enough that everyone queues down the centre in McDonalds, but not everyone queues down aisle 8 before diverting to a till at Tesco?

In both cases, it's a line of tills.

[Magic]

What's the issue anyway? If you're in often enough to be bothered I'd say you've got a much bigger issue than the fucking tills and queuing.

[Yevrah]

What's the issue anyway? If you're in often enough to be bothered I'd say you've got a much bigger issue than the fucking tills and queuing.

Once again, have a look at the thread title.

[Lewis]

McDonald's is great (for what it is) and anyone who says otherwise is a dickhead.

FACT. They feed the entire universe, and their burgers are a quid. What do you want?

[Magic]

Once again, have a look at the thread title.

Yes I'm giving a few on here a reality check.

[igor_balis]

I do like a double cheeseburger when I'm pissed, and the breakfast is great the one time a year or so when i'm both really hungover and awake before 10am. Never really like getting a 'proper' meal from there though cus you can spend a similar amount and get something like a gourmet burger from spoons or something.

[Pepe]

Brits spending two pages debating 'queuing' :harold:

[Pepe]

Once again, have a look at the thread title.

Since we moved here and the 'little' part was removed from the title, this argument does not hold anymore.

[Giggles]

Brits spending two pages debating 'queuing' :harold:

Balls to that.

[Yevrah]

Since we moved here and the 'little' part was removed from the title, this argument does not hold anymore.

It does hold, as this thread is clearly a continuation of the thread I started - some fucking moron just bored the title or completely misunderstood the point of the last one.

[Giggles]

It does hold, as this thread is clearly a continuation of the thread I started - some fucking moron just bored the title or completely misunderstood the point of the last one.

Do not speak ill of the dead.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It does hold, as this thread is clearly a continuation of the thread I started - some fucking moron just bored the title or completely misunderstood the point of the last one.

Benny is a spastic, I agree.

[Pepe]

+1

[Yevrah]

I meant borked there, :cab:.

[Magic]

Door-to-door salespeople. Are they thick? I realise it's their job but since when did becoming a fucking cunt help a sale?

"Is there any scope for you to get your roof renewed sir?"
*thinks brilliant, can fuck him off ASAP*
" (smugly) Well yes, it's just been done literally 2 months ago so..."
"Ah brilliant sir, we offer coating on new roofs"
*FUCKING HELL LOL, got me there*
"Ok, I'm not really interested I've spent enough money"
"Are you in tomorrow?"
"What? No I'm out"
"In at all this week?"
"No I've got appointments, look I'm not really interested"
"What about the weekends?"
"I don't want to spend any more money"
"The quotation is free though!"
"...yeah I'm really not interested, I'll keep the booklet to read if it humours you"
"Nah, I need it back"
"Oh...lol"
*shuts door slowly*

[Disco]

I thought there was one more KitKat left in the fridge. :cry:

[Lee]

I hate cunts trying to be nice on the road. If it's your right of way and I clearly haven't been waiting ages to turn out then don't let me out and think I'm expecting you to do so, then get the arse when I don't fuck off straightaway. Follow the rules you fucking cunts.

Especially don't be nice less than a couple of minutes afterwards by stopping in front of me on the main road to let four (fucking four!) lorries out of the Tesco warehouse which can then only get over the controlled roundabout a mile down the road one at a time. Bastards.

[Giggles]

I hate cunts trying to be nice on the road. If it's your right of way and I clearly haven't been waiting ages to turn out then don't let me know and think I'm expecting you to do so, then get the arse when I don't fuck off straightaway. Follow the rules you fucking cunts.

Especially don't be nice less than a couple of minutes afterwards by stopping in front of me on the main road to let four (fucking four!) lorries out of the Tesco warehouse which can then only get over the controlled roundabout a mile down the road one at a time. Bastards.

Some cunt in front of me turning right today decided to let a tractor out from the right in front of me :mad:

And I don't even think he knew why I was roaring at him out the window as he turned as he just thought he was the soundest fucker in the world for his good deed.

[Shindig]

One week after informing me my electricity for my 1 bedroom flat is £10 a month, they now decide it's £244. Fuck npower.

[Boydy]

Websites that have something between the username and password boxes on the login bit so you can't just tab from the username box to the password box. Ended up on the forgotten username page because I wasn't looking.

[Samadini]

One week after informing me my electricity for my 1 bedroom flat is £10 a month, they now decide it's £244. Fuck npower.

I had this with them last month, they recalculated my bill to be over double what it normally is, took my money, then the next month recalculated again back down to what it had been for months and have just kept my account in credit.

So they just fucking stole my money out of my bank account to sit in their account instead.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Energy companies are totally incompetent.

What's the deal with hankies? My mum's partner uses one and I've never really understood blowing a load of snot into a bit of cloth to then put in your pocket.

[Magic]

Arseholes that fuck about in the outside lane, then have the nerve to flash or gesture as you drive past. The only way to get these cunts to move is to almost rear end them out of the way. Love sticking my middle finger up as I soar past.

[phonics]

As a former door-to-door salesman for nPower, this is exactly what we were instructed to do and would get a 20% commission for doing so. I refused to turn up after the first day where a single mother with 2 kids just got screwed into signing something she had little clue about long term. (at the time the offer was for 3 months but I can imagine they've moved down to get more sales. It was an absolute race to the bottom with British Gas and friends pulling the same shit) Utilities in the UK are so, so bent.

[Boydy]

I'm never entirely sure what people mean by inside and outside lanes.

[Disco]

Inside is left outside is right.

My journey to work is plagued by people who seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to wander about in the road.

[Boydy]

To me it seems like it should be the other way around since the right has the other direction next to it so it's really at the centre of the road and therefore on the inside.

[Magic]

To me it seems like it should be the other way around since the right has the other direction next to it so it's really at the centre of the road and therefore on the inside.

I used to think that when I was a woman.

[Giggles]

To me it seems like it should be the other way around since the right has the other direction next to it so it's really at the centre of the road and therefore on the inside.

It's not. Though this reinforces my point that most outside lane hogs probably don't even realise they are wrong.

[Boydy]

I don't hog it. I know I'm meant to stay in the left and use the right one for overtaking. I just don't know which one is labelled inside and which one is outside.

[Baz]

Worst part is being made to look like an "outside lane hog." Like if you do 80 to get past someone doing 65 but don't wanna take the piss and fly by, then some bellend comes up your arse trying to get past and as soon as you go back into the middle lane s/he rips past you.

When that happens I make a point of singing along to the radio to show I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

[Magic]

Worst part is being made to look like an "outside lane hog." Like if you do 80 to get past someone doing 65 but don't wanna take the piss and fly by, then some bellend comes up your arse trying to get past and as soon as you go back into the middle lane s/he rips past you.

When that happens I make a point of singing along to the radio to show I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

No I mean the cretins that do 61 overtaking a lorry.

[Giggles]

I don't hog it. I know I'm meant to stay in the left and use the right one for overtaking. I just don't know which one is labelled inside and which one is outside.

Didn't mean you specifically. Just that a lot of times people think other drivers are being pricks on the motorway, a lot of them don't actually know any better. The quantity and standard of lessons and testing for motorway driving here and in the UK is horrendous.

[Shindig]

Commision-driven sales environments are terrifying Thatcherite nightmares. I mean, its cool you have an office and that but it's really just four walls and a bell. A space you utilise for 10 minutes a day to do a huddle and then fuck off to today's patch. 8 hours door-to-door bothering for 2-3 of them to pity you.

[Lewis]

My mother is a laughably nervous passenger, so when it rains a bit I like to fly down the outside lane pretending I can't see properly.

[Magic]

Didn't mean you specifically. Just that a lot of times people think other drivers are being pricks on the motorway, a lot of them don't actually know any better. The quantity and standard of lessons and testing for motorway driving here and in the UK is horrendous.

Inner city duals or bypasses are the worst. Oh, you're turning right in 5 miles? Cool, just you go in the outside lane now and do 40. Cunt.

[Pepe]

Calling them inside and outside lanes when you can just call them left and right is a bit dumb isn't it?

[Magic]

Calling them inside and outside lanes when you can just call them left and right is a bit dumb isn't it?

No. Inside, middle, outside.

[Boydy]

Calling them inside and outside lanes when you can just call them left and right is a bit dumb isn't it?

Yes. Very.

[Magic]

What is stupid is nearside and offside in terms of describing the left/right side of a car.

[Boydy]

No. Inside, middle, outside.

Inside and outside could still be swapped around there. It doesn't make any sense.

[Magic]

Inside and outside could still be swapped around there. It doesn't make any sense.

No they can't. The inside lane is the default.

[Pepe]

Reminds me of a friend who would use up and down instead of left and right. It made zero fucking sense. His parents caught him smoking weed and also found out that he would ask the maid to jack him off. He blamed it all on us so he was banned from hanging out with us, the prick.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Did the maid oblige?

[Pepe]

No. Inside, middle, outside.

Left, middle, right. You're correct, there is no way that would work.

[Pepe]

Did the maid oblige?

She did.

[Boydy]

Was she fit?

[Giggles]

Inside and outside could still be swapped around there. It doesn't make any sense.

They couldn't be though. Anyone who does is simply wrong.

[Magic]

Left, middle, right. You're correct, there is no way that would work.

I've seen (and played) World's Wildest Police Chases. Don't tell me about lane discipline you cunt.

[Magic]

Reminds me of a friend who would use up and down instead of left and right. It made zero fucking sense. His parents caught him smoking weed and also found out that he would ask the maid to jack him off. He blamed it all on us so he was banned from hanging out with us, the prick.

That's fucked up, am I right or left?

[Boydy]

They couldn't be though. Anyone who does is simply wrong.

Yeah, they would be wrong if they did it on their own now against the convention of what they are. But the convention is arbitrary. Unlike left and right which has a meaning outside the context of roads.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Inside/outside is used because you could drive to another country who drive on the opposite lane.

You're still using the outside lane to overtake.

[Pepe]

Was she fit?

Fuck no, she was an old midget. :D

[Boydy]

But how often does that actually happen? Balls to other countries.

[Magic]

Yeah, they would be wrong if they did it on their own now against the convention of what they are. But the convention is arbitrary. Unlike left and right which has a meaning outside the context of roads.

Try telling a mechanic or tyre fitter you're left tyre needs replacing. They'll use that as the butt of their homophobia for weeks.

[Pepe]

That's fucked up, am I right or left?

Outside.

[Magic]

Inside/outside is used because you could drive to another country who drive on the opposite lane.

You're still using the outside lane to overtake.

Indeed. It holds weight even if you're driving on the upside or downside.

[Boydy]

Try telling a mechanic or tyre fitter you're left tyre needs replacing. They'll use that as the butt of their homophobia for weeks.

See in that scenario, 'inside' should mean on the driver's side. That's where I'd be sitting in the car so inside should be closer to me.

[phonics]

It's inside, middle and outside in comparison to the lane opposite you rather than the wheel of the car, no? That doesn't change wherever you're driving.

[Pepe]

Try telling a mechanic or tyre fitter you're left tyre needs replacing. They'll use that as the butt of their homophobia for weeks.

Does your car only have two tires?

[Magic]

See in that scenario, 'inside' should mean on the driver's side. That's where I'd be sitting in the car so inside should be closer to me.

But we don't use inside/outside in that context, it's nearside/offside.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

See in that scenario, 'inside' should mean on the driver's side. That's where I'd be sitting in the car so inside should be closer to me.

It's not used at all in that regard, then it's nearside and offside. Nearside as in the side nearest the kerb.

[Pepe]

:D

[Magic]

Does your car only have two tires?

New roof > legal tyres.

[Boydy]

Why is nearside not the driver's side? If I'm in the car driving it and notice something wrong with it the near side is the fucking side I'm sitting on the driver's seat.

This is fucking bullshit.

[Giggles]

Why is nearside not the driver's side? If I'm in the car driving it and notice something wrong with it the near side is the fucking side I'm sitting on the driver's seat.

This is fucking bullshit.

Nearest to the kerb. You drive on the left.

[Magic]

I feel like I'll be having this conversion with my daughter in 14 years' time. Your parents have failed you, Bould. Either that or your dad doesn't drive/is gay.

[Pepe]

:D

This conversation is all the proof I'll ever need that I'm right on this one (or am I offside?)

[Magic]

Him having a meltdown at Kwikfit because they've changed the wrong tyre. :drool:

[Magic]

:D

This conversation is all the proof I'll ever need that I'm right on this one (or am I offside?)

Westside, mate.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Why is nearside not the driver's side? If I'm in the car driving it and notice something wrong with it the near side is the fucking side I'm sitting on the driver's seat.

This is fucking bullshit.

And in a left hand drive car? Nearside being nearest the kerb avoids confusion. Well, in theory...

[Giggles]

And in a left hand drive car? Nearside being nearest the kerb avoids confusion. Well, in theory...

It should. Though I'm more surprised Boydy isn't knocking around on a penny farthing.

[Boydy]

Get your filthy foreign cars out of the country. That's where in a left hand drive car.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Wait, I'm with Boydy on nearside/offside.

I'm not having that the offside is the tyres on the drivers side.

[Magic]

The most active TTH has been in years and it's because of lane naming. :cool:

[phonics]

The most active TTH has been in years and it's because of lane naming. :cool:

This and the queuing bit from the other day have confirmed to me that this is the most actively British place on the interwebs.

[Giggles]

Wait, I'm with Boydy on nearside/offside.

I'm not having that the offside is the tyres on the drivers side.

They are though. Go in tomorrow and ask anywhere to have your offside tyres checked and they'll look at the right.

Even your MOT test sheet has them this way.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They are though. Go in tomorrow and ask anywhere to have your offside tyres checked and they'll look at the right.

Even your MOT test sheet has them this way.

It's wrong though, what a shit system.

[Pepe]

My first convert. :drool:

[Boydy]

What do you mean yours?

[Pepe]

I mean I started this revolution. You can be the first convert and mahow the second if it makes you feel better.

[Spikey M]

They're left and right tyres, you mongs.

[Disco]

They're left and right tyres, you mongs.

From who's perspective though?

[Boydy]

The driver's.

[Disco]

Yes I realise that's what he meant but using left/right introduces potential for confusion. Near side and offside are always the same thing.

[Pepe]

That's just nonsense. :D

[Disco]

The whole debate is nonsense.

[Pepe]

It is. Still not 100% sure of the tire thing to be honest. Care to clarify?

Front left:
Front right:
Rear left:
Rear right:

:thbup:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yes I realise that's what he meant but using left/right introduces potential for confusion. Near side and offside are always the same thing.

Driver side, passenger side. Simple.

[Disco]

Which is basically the same, terminology that is isn't affected by perspective.

Interesting side point: if you're taking off or landing on an aircraft carrier your directions are given with reference to Port and Starboard of the ship rather than to anything else.

[Magic]

Just gave the kid a tenner to pay for her ice cream because we got it separately from the meal. She got the change and I said put one of the gold ones in the tip jar and she dumped 4 quid in. I didn't want to look tight so I left it. 4 quid for a 25 quid meal and not even table service. :face:

[phonics]

4 quid for 25 is 15-20% which is what you should be tipping anyway.

edit: Missed the lack of table service.

[Giggles]

4 quid for 25 is 15-20% which is what you should be tipping anyway.

edit: Missed the lack of table service.

He's also not in America.

[Magic]

Erm 10% if they're lucky.

[phonics]

Erm 10% if they're lucky.

Please be a more stereotypical Scotsman.

[John]

If he was being a stereotypical Scotsman he'd shout 'live on yer fuckin wage' and take the four quid back.

Ten percent is fine in the UK.

[Magic]

It was the half English lion rampant unionist inside me that didn't want to shame my family by taking the money back, thus being totally un-British.

[John]

Where were you to get a family meal for twenty five quid? McDonald's?

[Magic]

Some Mexican street food offering at the Grassmarket.

[Giggles]

John's right, ten is fucking plenty.

[Disco]

I tend to do 10-15% depending on how good the meal/service was.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I gave about 23% the other day.

The meal was only £17.10 and the waiter was brilliant.

He was bringing me refills before I had finished my previous drink.

10% or lower is for shit service, 15% is for standard, 20+% if the service goes above and beyond and the actual meal isn't too hefty.

[Magic]

In fairness the waitress did go down the street to their 'sister' restaurant to get us some ice cream because all they had was weird, spicy Mexico wanky shit.

[Giggles]

In fairness the waitress did go down the street to their 'sister' restaurant to get us some ice cream because all they had was weird, spicy Mexico wanky shit.

:D Jesus. No complaints then.

[John]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gwYcVCA8Aw

I know we have a video thread but the existence of this bilge has fucked me right off. Look who's producing it, the fucking BBC.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

20%? America really is shit.

[Giggles]

20%? America really is shit.

Good food is shit cheap though, so you don't mind.

[Davgooner]

4 quid for 25 is 15-20% which is what you should be tipping anyway.
.

As if there are people out there tipping 20%. What the fuck is going on?

[Giggles]

Been looking to download the lastest Elementary and Brooklyn Nine Nine and everything seems to be in fucking mkv now.

[Disco]

Give vlc and gom players a go, I'm not sure I've ever found anything they can't play.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've recently switched from VLC to Potplayer, it's brilliant.

[Giggles]

mkv's actually cast now so it's all fine in the end.

[Danny]

Chromecast and Videostream?

[Boydy]

I've recently switched from VLC to Potplayer, it's brilliant.

I used that for a bit when my computer was new and I read it was the top dog of video players these days. I didn't see what was actually better about it than VLC and I didn't like the interface much so I ended up going back to VLC.

[Giggles]

Chromecast and Videostream?

I'm doing it to a Nexus Player with Allcast. I'm sure the last time I tried an mkv it didn't work.

[John]

Could have been the specific file rather than the format.

What site are you using that only has one format available anyway? I use three different sites and all three offer various formats.

[Giggles]

Could have been the specific file rather than the format.

What site are you using that only has one format available anyway? I use three different sites and all three offer various formats.

The normal site and torrents I always download. Up until now they were always mp4 files, but it's all good now anyway. Glad I chanced one of the mkv's.

[John Arne]

I need a new power supply for my surface. £64.99 for a fucking power supply. Are they fucking joking - robbing fucking cunts.

[Boydy]

Everything is fucking me off today. On the way to work some shit driver behind me as we were both waiting to pull out onto the motorway pulled out alongaide and sat in the overtaking lane making the car behind me almost hit me as I was still getting up to speed because it couldn't use the overtaking lane. Work was fucking annoying too. Encountered a couple more terrible drivers on the way home (both in BMWs, cunts) and now I've got home and my mum has claimed a pizza I had in the fridge and is giving me and my dad some crappy pie instead.

All pretty minor but it's just been a day of constant minor irritations. I need to go meditate.

[John]

Get a pizza delivered and eat it in front of her. Put the box on top of the plate with the crap pie still on it too.

[Magic]

Oh some slut really fucked me off today on the way to Glasgow.

I was doing about 85 in the OUTSIDE LANE overtaking a series of cars, this bitch then speeds up and pulls in front of me (not affecting me at all) and I thought fair enough, however then she slowed right down to between 65-70 and took fucking ages to overtake the remaining cars. There was a fairly big gap before the next lorry and she wasn't pulling in, I was just getting fucked off even more as I was already late. She got past two lorries then a van and instead of pulling in she remained in the OUTSIDE LANE, still doing around 65-70 to overtake a van then a lorry which were quite a bit ahead.

Fuck this, I thought. Belted in the INSIDE LANE and undertook the cunt, I was just getting passed her bonnet when the bloody van pulled out to overtake the lorry, so I had to cut back in completely cutting her up. I could see her going bananas in the rear view so I just gave her the finger and slowed right down to fuck her off. She was going absolutely bat shit and I couldn't think of anything else to piss her off other than to start dancing very obviously. :D

I stayed at 60mph and formed a queue just to teach the bitch a lesson then booted it.

[Magic]

Also people posting things on Facebook statuses about people dying as if they are speaking directly to the dead person, even tagging them sometimes. Tasteless freaks.

[bruhnaldo]

There's nothing I hate more than people sitting in the lane with space in front of them.

Especially when they get out of a lane and in front of you to move at a speed that they could've easily been moving in the lane they were in before! YOU WHAT?!

edit: I mean doyou honestly think police technology is so good that they can radar you in between all of the other cars on the highway? Are you that afraid to go just a little over the speed limit to keep traffic flowing?

Oh I'm pissed just thinking about it. Driving is really SO difficult for people and, as you all tell me, is apparently 100x easier in America because of our roads. I shudder to imagine how they'd fair elsewhere.

[randomlegend]

I was doing about 85.

Wasn't it you who got proper worked up about people speeding before?

[Giggles]

Wasn't it you who got proper worked up about people speeding before?

It's part of his MELTDOWN. One step from re-registering here as Mr. Bratwurst.

[Magic]

Only Taz doing over a tonne during rush hour in a car that had no MOT and known brake issues.

[randomlegend]

Nah I'm not having that. I'm sure you had a good old "The speed limit is what it is for a REASON" whinge on the old board, maybe in that thread where ?Yev suggested raising it.

Lewis, help please.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Nah I'm not having that. I'm sure you had a good old "The speed limit is what it is for a REASON" whinge on the old board, maybe in that thread where ?Yev suggested raising it.

Lewis, help please.

Jord rings a bell.

[Magic]

Nah I'm not having that. I'm sure you had a good old "The speed limit is what it is for a REASON" whinge on the old board, maybe in that thread where ?Yev suggested raising it.

Lewis, help please.

:S

[Disco]

My kettle appears to be broken, the light comes on but there's no boiling going on.

[Pepe]

Seeing hundreds of Americans scrambling around for hours trying to find a parking spot to attend Earth Day was pretty lol.

[igor_balis]

Boring, 'serious documentary filmmaker' Louis Theroux. Bring back weird weekends you wanker.

[Boydy]

Ha. I've not watched that new one yet but the Guardian article about it made it sound pretty horrible.

[Shindig]

Boring, 'serious documentary filmmaker' Louis Theroux. Bring back weird weekends you wanker.

I enjoyed the autism one he did but it was very little to do with him. I should go and rewatch the one at the WCW Power Plant.

[Magic]

His SERIOUS shit is miles better, you're just too used to deepintoyoutube Igor.

Here's a video of a Tuna accidentally eating a seagull then spitting it back out to cheer you up.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=dcc_1461213982

[Baz]

Who goes the gym in the morning and doesn't has a shower? The bloke who's in my car with me all day, that's who. :moop:

[Boydy]

People who still use text language. Its 2016, we've all got smartphones with qwerty keyboards on them. Fucking type properly.

[Magic]

In what respect? Text talk in a text is perfectly acceptable.

[Boydy]

No it's not. You don't have the fiddly numeric keyboard to battle with any more and you're not limited to sending so many characters per message.

[Giggles]

As Boydy says, not in this day and age it's not. It was barely ecceptable after the introduction of the T9 predicitve dictionary, but at least in those days there was a character limit.

[Magic]

No it's not. You don't have the fiddly numeric keyboard to battle with any more and you're not limited to sending so many characters per message.

What a boring cunt you must be.

[Boydy]

What a boring cunt you must be.

y u say dat hun? xx

[Magic]

I don't use it personally but it certainly wouldn't annoy. Any other form of messaging it isn't acceptable though, such as FBM or Viber.

[igor_balis]

My favourite use of text talk was when ds showed us how he deliberately talks like a total spastic on tinder or pof or something to shag thick girls. Fair play to the lad.

[Boydy]

I bet you do.

[Magic]

Give me your number.

[Boydy]

999

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've always despised text talk with a passion, so I'm with Boydy.

[Magic]

I bet you typed everything properly even on the old 0-9 keypads. Gimps.

[Pepe]

I did.

[igor_balis]

I used to use really bad txt tlk when i was about 13 and even then I was berated for it by my mates.

[Giggles]

I bet you typed everything properly even on the old 0-9 keypads. Gimps.

Of course.

[Boydy]

I did too.

[John]

People here, particularly girls, used to type in all capitals, other than their 'i's which were double lower case.

LiiKE THiiS.

I still break into a sweat thinking about wading through that shit trying to get a shag as a fourteen year old.

[Lewis]

I did.

I still do. :cool:

[Pepe]

I still do. :cool:

I still would but my mother thought it was embarrassing that I was still on a shit phone so she bought me a fancy one. She pays the bill too so I'm not complaining.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I bet you typed everything properly even on the old 0-9 keypads. Gimps.

I even used punctuation.

[Boydy]

This is more than a little thing but I didn't think it needed its own thread or where else to put it.

Queen's have sent sent me an email today saying I owe them more tuition fees. My MA should have been finished in Sept 2015 but due to depression I had to get extensions and didn't finish it until Jan 2016. I had already paid all my fees for the MA in 2014/15 and no one ever told me I'd be liable for more due to the extension. It's not like I even received any extra tuition during that extra term as I was only doing my dissertation. I barely even used my supervisor either. Gonna argue with them and fight it but does anyone know where I would stand on this legally?

I'm not giving those cunts any more money.

[randomlegend]

I've no idea I'm afraid, but I still eagerly await the day my letter arrives from student finance demanding the 'overpayment' I've received is paid back.

:eyemouth:

[Giggles]

It's that morning again, darkness into light wankers.

[Shindig]

I'm on the north side of my street. It has the same numbers as the south side. I've had something delivered to the wrong side of the street. :moop:

[Baz]

Why's it called contactless payment if you have to tap it? :panda:

[Samadini]

You don't have to, just less likely to fuck up if you do.

[Kikó]

Indeed. No need to tap.

[Magic]

Meeting room names. Especially ones that are voted on.

[Dela]

Meeting room names. Especially ones that are voted on.

Meeting rooms should all be named with endings of words that start with "IN".

"Where's today's board meeting?"

"They're in Candescent."

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just encountered the strangest takeaway delivery driver.

I open the door and he just stares at me, after about 5 seconds (I don't know how long it actually was, it seemed like ages) I decided to say 'Takeaway?'. He then responds yes and as he's slowly passing me the bag he says, 'I haven't seen you before, do you live here?'.

I wonder what was going through his mind and I'm kicking myself that I didn't say that I don't live here.

[Lewis]

Order another one.

[John Arne]

Delivery driver, surely?

Takeaway means you buy yourself, and take it home.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

But what is he delivering? A takeaway.

[John Arne]

Not having it.

He's delivering a delivery. :)

[John]

He's delivering a meal, but calling it a takeaway is fine.

Top, top pedantry though. Kudos.

[John Arne]

I have my own private takeaway driver, so i'm losing touch with reality.

[bruhnaldo]

Meeting rooms should all be named with endings of words that start with "IN".

"Where's today's board meeting?"

"They're in Candescent."

"They're in Side today."
"Right but which room?"
"In Side."
"I'm sorry, I wasn't clear, where is the meeting being held?"
"They're having it in Side."
"Listen you fucking twat.."

[Spikey M]

Oh, I get it now.

[Shindig]

"They are having it in the room called Side."

I mean, why the fuck wouldn't you? Hu, the Korean international is on first.

[Spikey M]

Who?

[John Arne]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK4tbUBXfuQ

[Gray Fox]

Just encountered the strangest takeaway delivery driver.

I open the door and he just stares at me, after about 5 seconds (I don't know how long it actually was, it seemed like ages) I decided to say 'Takeaway?'. He then responds yes and as he's slowly passing me the bag he says, 'I haven't seen you before, do you live here?'.

I wonder what was going through his mind and I'm kicking myself that I didn't say that I don't live here.

We have a driver here who knocks on the door, then turns round and walks right back up the path, closes the gate and stands the other side looking at the door. When you open the door he says "Takeaway, Sir?" and then comes back through the gate and walks up to the house.
Maybe being a delivery driver drives you round the bend.

[Pepe]

Spoonsky probably abducted her.

[Boydy]

Antiques shows.

They always seem to coincide with Sunday evening boredom/dread as well.

[Magic]

Don't mind them, actually.

Game shows, though...

[igor_balis]

My mum loves Antiques Roadshow more than I love life. She's well good at guessing the value of stuff, so fair play to her.

[Boydy]

How much do you love life?

[Lewis]

Weekend telly is just absolute toilet (Antiques Roadshow is one of the highlights). It could be the thought of doing it more than the content, but it's actually depressing to sit there on a Saturday flicking through the crap they put on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How much do you love life?

More than he did before he found all the strange Youtube videos.

[Magic]

Boyd probably hates it because he knows all his failure parents are going time leave him are some anarchist magazines and a birth certificate that confirms his cunt cousin is actually his little brother.

[Boydy]

As if my parents read anarchist magazines.

[Magic]

I thought you were like Spoon in that your parents were hippy nerds. So it's all a rebellion against rigid parenting? Nice.

[igor_balis]

I've got the hippy nerd parents, with the extra street cred and edge that comes from my dad actually going to prison for 6 months. It is why I'm so hard and thick-skinned.

[Magic]

Bet it was from not paying his TV license or something.

[igor_balis]

Stole money to fund his amphetamine addiction.

[Boydy]

I thought you were like Spoon in that your parents were hippy nerds. So it's all a rebellion against rigid parenting? Nice.
I wish they were hippy nerds. :(

[Magic]

Stole money to fund his amphetamine addiction.

Damn, had him nailed down as a nonce.

[Magic]

The absolute shit cafe I'm in in Portobello has a waitress/chef that looks like one of the birds from that Aphsx Twin video.

[Spoonsky]

I wish they were hippy nerds. :(

You'd be me. :cool:

[Shindig]

I left my wallet at home today so I wound up skipping lunch. Could've scrounged a couple of quid off a colleague but there was stuff around the office to snack on. This is no way to live your life. Remember important shit, kids.

[Giggles]

We had some stuff brought in today as there was a meeting with some German blokes going on before lunch. Managed to get some of it brought out to the car at 1 so I didn't have to go to the shop. And that's what fucks me off, not a single fucking one without salad slop on it.

[Spoonsky]

Not that it would prevent you from forgetting shit at home, but I've adopted the wallet-less lifestyle as advertised by this low-quality Seinfeld clip and, before that, I think Lewis:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvwKIIugtzw

It really is better.

[Pepe]

I've been wallet-less for at least ten years now. I really don't see the point to them.

[igor_balis]

Also reppin the no wallet crew.

[Magic]

How could you have no wallet?

[Boydy]

I haven't bothered with a wallet in about two years now since my last one got stolen.

[Giggles]

As soon as this technological third word gets mobile payments up and running then I'm ditching mine too.

[Lewis]

The wallet-less lifestyle. :cool:

[SvN]

I have a card holder that contains my debit card and driving license. I haven't used a proper wallet in years. Once Android payments is activated, I'll stop carrying it.

[Pepe]

Right pocket carries phone, credit card, and drives license if necessary. Left pocket carries keys.

[Lewis]

Leave your phone at home, conformist.

[Magic]

I also have a card holder, it's like a mini wallet but still lets me use the 'no cash' out.

[phonics]

Phone in the right hand pocket? Heathens.

Phone + Cigarettes = Left
Keys = Right
Cash = Back Right.

[Giggles]

Anyone using back pockets deserves what they get.