The little things in life that fuck you off

[Yevrah]

Did you notify the bank you were travelling? We always have to do it here. I never use my card abroad, but I always notify in case something happens my prepay one.

As I said, my bank, a big one, just says "we don't need you to do that any more" whenever I've phoned to try and tell them, so I've just given up doing so now.

As if their system is somehow sophisticated enough to know that it's me using my card at Bangkok airport's cash point for the first time ever in 15 years of having it.

[Danny]

I had lived here at least 2 years, possibly 3+ before Yorkshire Bank decided that taking money out in the US was potential fraud.

I had to go home (remembering where I was sat when having to conversation tells me how long I had been here), chuck some money on Skype and place a call to their helpline to explain that I had been taking pretty much the same amount of money out of my bank on a constant basis for 2 years before they decided to flag it and, no, its not fraud, its rent. So please fix it before my rent is late.

[Lee]

I can just notify my bank online if I'm going to use my card abroad. I assumed that was normal practice.

[Danny]

I do that now, but having been here for so long I never anticipated it to be a problem.

[Yevrah]

Is that debit or credit card Lee?

I'd never use the former abroad.

[Lee]

Debit. I've never bothered with getting a credit card.

[Yevrah]

Maybe that's where the difference lies then.

[Giggles]

Mine is the same, I notify for debit as I don't have a credit. You don't need to notify for a credit card. Not with my bank anyway.

[SvN]

Had a cough all weekend and it's peaked over the past 12 hours in that I've basically found it impossible to get any sleep. Didn't fall asleep til gone 3am and woke up about 2 hours later in a coughing fit. Attempted to get back to sleep, but gave up at about 6am.

Fucking infuriating.

[John]

What was supposed to be a day of leisure, with nothing to do but sleep in and catch up on various bits of TV and film will now be spent trying to block out the end of days soundscape going on outside. On two days notice the council are digging up and relaying the entire street starting at half eight this morning.

[phonics]

Piers Morgan is getting money from the National Lottery to be in its adverts. I don't care if I end up working in a box factory. All advertising must die.

[Boydy]

How Americans hold their cutlery.

[Disco]

Example?

[Boydy]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_utensil_etiquette

See american fork etiquette.

[Disco]

Does anyone really swap hands for every mouthful? That sounds insane.

[Magic]

What the fuck? How did you come across this?

[randomlegend]

America :harold:

[phonics]

Yeah that's not true either. If you're eating with just a fork, it's in your right hand. Otherwise it's left and right as normal.

[Davgooner]

That's FUCKING MENTAL.

[Boydy]

What the fuck? How did you come across this?
You see it in American tv shows sometimes.

[Magic]

You must watch really boring American TV shows if that's the sort of shit you pick up on.

[Boydy]

It was in True Detective that I noticed it.

[Lewis]

I don't know what swapping them around is about, but holding the fork in your right hand (if you're right-handed) makes much more sense. It's the fork that benefits from precision, seeing as the knife tends to only have one movement.

[Toby]

I hold my fork in my (dominant) right hand. The other way is stupid. Swapping is weird though, and I can't picture how the "like a pen" grip works.

[Magic]

Fork in the left hand knife in the right. I'm sort of ambidextrous because of my drumming though so it doesn't bother me.

[Disco]

Surely the knife if the precision tool, it requires more dexterity.

[Boydy]

Yeah, I don't get how the fork needs precision.

[Toby]

I don't think either is particularly demanding...

[Magic]

On a side note I hate burgers that are so big and cumbersome that you can't comfortably:

a) Hold and bite
b) Cut up with a fork and knife

In the end it just ends up as a mess on the plate.

[randomlegend]

Yeah, I don't get how the fork needs precision.

Uvverwise I miss my mouf.

[SvN]

b) Cut up with a fork and knife


:harold:

[Boydy]

Fucking cutting up a burger, jesus christ.

[Magic]

:confused:

Ok you arseholes, what's wrong with that then?

[randomlegend]

Nothing wrong with cutting up a burger if the situation demands, fuck boys.

[Boydy]

There bloody is. Although you're probably too weak to lift a whole one given the wreck that is your body so I suppose it's forgiveable for you.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I would only cut burgers when my moustache was fairly long and I was in public.

[randomlegend]

If you've got something in your burger which is going to cause havoc when lifted (chilli burger or something) then you'd be a mong for trying.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you've paid more than say eight quid for a burger, you really shouldn't be eating with your hands.

[Toby]

Fancy burgers really are a load of shit. If you can't pick it up there is no benefit to it being in a bun.

[randomlegend]

The bun is nice?

[Disco]

I don't have anything against them in principle but the idea of a burger being 'fancy' (I suppose they are in comparison) always strikes me as a bit odd. If you want a 'fancy' beef dish then surely you go somewhere good and have a steak instead of ground up anuses in a bun.

[phonics]

Fancy burger places that can't keep a bun in tact need to burn.

[Davgooner]

A burger from a fast food joint, yes, scoff it how you wish. If you're eating in and have ordered a burger, then I fucking dare you to start picking the fucker up. Dare you.

[Pepe]

Never seen the fork hand change occur in the wild.

Cutting a burger. :face:

Ordering a burger to eat at home. :face:

Lastly, I like fancy burgers. Also the non-fancy ones. Fast food ones can fuck off though.

[Boydy]

A burger from a fast food joint, yes, scoff it how you wish. If you're eating in and have ordered a burger, then I fucking dare you to start picking the fucker up. Dare you.

Why wouldn't you?

[SvN]

Huge lol at Dav sitting in Wetherspoons eating his beer and burger with a knife and fork.

[Davgooner]

Eating beer is a new one.

[SvN]

Pinky out

[Davgooner]

:pards:

[igor_balis]

My mum couldn't stop laughing or taking the piss out of her boyfriend for about a week after she saw him eating a pizza with a knife and fork. Fair response I think.

With massive burgers I sort of understand it, but whenever a burger is too big to eat with my with hands I usually just think it serves me right for being a greedy bastard.

[Boydy]

:pards:

What's this smiley actually meant to mean? I don't understand it.

[Magic]

I'm sorry but I also eat pizzas with a knife and fork. You fucking philistines.

[Boydy]

Of course you do.

[Pepe]

It's a quite excellent smiley I have to say.

[Magic]

Of course you do.

I do. It makes it last longer, it doesn't flop, it doesn't fill me up instantly. It's the way forward in pizza eating.

[Davgooner]

What's this smiley actually meant to mean? I don't understand it.

Neither do I. I'm using it heavily in the hope that it clicks and others can feel confident rolling it out.

On another forum I frequent it is :troll:

[Pepe]

Does your wife also handle you with a knife and fork in the hope that you last longer?

[Disco]

Magic once again demonstrating that he doesn't have any actual class, just aspirations and some funny ideas about being 'posh'.

[Boydy]

Neither do I. I'm using it heavily in the hope that it clicks and others can feel confident rolling it out.

On another forum I frequent it is :troll:
Makes sense. I like it, just not quite sure how to use it.

Does your wife also handle you with a knife and fork in the hope that you last longer?
:D

Magic once again demonstrating that he doesn't have any actual class, just aspirations and some funny ideas about being 'posh'.

:nodd:

[Magic]

Hang on, I'm just preparing for Luca's pretend Italian seethe at me violating his adopted country's culinary habits.

[igor_balis]

Magic, you're the most Hyacinth Bucket motherfucker I've ever come across. If Hyacinth Bucket posted on 4chan.

[Pepe]

Nothing she can do about the flopping unfortunately.

[Boydy]

Ugh, talking about doing Italian food wrong, my parents cut spaghetti. The monsters.

[SvN]

Does Magic eat sandwiches with a knife and fork? How about crisps?

[Davgooner]

Ugh, talking about doing Italian food wrong, my parents cut spaghetti. The monsters.

I do that.

:pards:

[Davgooner]

I also cook it so long that it's stodgy as fuck.

:pards:

[Davgooner]

Anyone who has seriously issues with any of this can make their way to Swan, H&I tomorrow afternoon and we'll discuss this over a burger and a beer.

Tally ho.

[Magic]

Ugh, talking about doing Italian food wrong, my parents cut spaghetti. The monsters.

Yeah that is weird.


Does Magic eat sandwiches with a knife and fork? How about crisps?

What a bizarre series of questions.

[igor_balis]

Sometimes as a student I'd buy a cheese and onion sandwich and a pot noodle from the corner shop and eat them together for my lunch, dipping the sandwich into the pot noodle as I went along.

[Giggles]

Nobody needs to be eating spaghetti when there's far tidier options available that taste exactly the same anyway.

[Toby]

In tribute to Magic, I'm drinking my coffee with a spoon.

[Magic]

Typical TTH, someone makes a valid point and shows a better way of doing things then really clever, smart people take the mick by producing a ridiculous example that's been wildly exaggerated as a comparison.

[phonics]

Sometimes as a student I'd buy a cheese and onion sandwich and a pot noodle from the corner shop and eat them together for my lunch, dipping the sandwich into the pot noodle as I went along.

That's one of the most depressing sentences I've ever read.

[Magic]

Hey guys look at me! I'm eating some soup with my fingers in tribute to the neanderthals of TTH!

[igor_balis]

That's one of the most depressing sentences I've ever read.

Thanks.

[Toby]

Does anybody know where I can purchase miniature cutlery so that I can eat my chewing gum like an upstanding member of civilised society?

[Lewis]

Crisps and sandwiches aren't particularly greasy/messy (but still wash your hands afterwards). Pizza and burgers are, hence the 'fork and knife'.

[Magic]

Does anyone know where I can buy industrial sized pillows for my enlarged coconut?

[Toby]

Just have a wank mate, you shouldn't let yourself get ill just because she won't shag you.

[QE Harold Flair]

What kind of stuck up knob eats pizza and burgers with a knife and fork?

[Boydy]

All this pizza and burger talk is making me hungry.

[Pen]

I think pizza in a restaurant is a mission for knife and fork, but burgers should always be edible with your hands. I don't like the places that cram them with all sorts of shit to make them massive forcing you to use knife and fork.

Actually that would be a little thing that fucks me off; burgers that can't be eaten with out cutlery.

[Pepe]

Just had a salmon sandwich. Ate it with my hands. Am I a bad'un?

[GS]

Where the option exists, I always eat with a knife and fork. It's less messy.

[phonics]

How young people use Twitter. It makes no sense and they just seem to send messages like DADDY to Edward Snowden and it confuses me.

[Boydy]

How young people use Twitter. It makes no sense and they just seem to send messages like DADDY to Edward Snowden and it confuses me.

Christ, did you see #canyourespectniall yesterday? All about one of those One Direction knobs having water thrown at him during one of their concerts. Absolutely mad.

[phonics]

This was supposed to be the things you dont get thread. They dont annoy me in any way. Id just really like to know how the generation that have lived only on social media use it.

[Boydy]

I don't get how people can be so mad for a band.

[phonics]

I don't get how people can be so mad for a band.

When Take That split up there was a helpline created for grieving fans. Humans are weird.

[Boydy]

Fucking hell. :D

[Magic]

I can understand worshiping an organically created unique band but to display that sort of behaviour over what is essentially a sonic Findus Lasagne is nothing short of a disgrace.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Chinatown's grease filled streets.

I almost slipped twice today.

[Luca]

Hang on, I'm just preparing for Luca's pretend Italian seethe at me violating his adopted country's culinary habits.

Nah, eating pizza with a fork and a knife is perfectly fine. Folding it over itself (along the width) is ideal, but there's no issue with this.

Cutting spaghetti with a knife, on the other hand, could and should have you permanently barred from entering Italy.

[Boydy]

There's a TV show of Scream now. Yeah, that's right, the old horror movie. This trend of TV shows of films is getting a bit stupid now. It's bad enough that nearly every bloody film these days is a book, a sequel or a reboot.

[Toby]

This is the second night in a row that I've been unable to sleep because of pain in my shoulder. It's barely noticeable when I'm sitting or standing, but as soon as I lay down I can't find any position where it isn't sore. I haven't done anything noticeable to hurt it so I assume it's just an old person injury probably caused by my bad posture (and weight of my head lol).

[Kikó]

My neighbours had some Spaniards round last night and were having a sing along on the piano from about 12-4am until my missus (the brave one) knocked on and told them to shut up. Who does that on a Sunday?

Upper class rave.

[Toby]

I'm in Inverness again and having to pay extra on my hotel bill for 0.5Mb internet access. :face:

[Giggles]

I'm in Inverness again and having to pay extra on my hotel bill for 0.5Mb internet access. :face:

Not ideal. Can you at least claim it though?

[Benny]

I hope you're not planning on watching porn, Toby.

[Toby]

Not ideal. Can you at least claim it though?

Yeah it won't be out of my pocket, but it's another of those things I begrudge paying on principle. The worst thing is that it's not even some budget end place that makes it's money off all the extras. What sort of dated shithole doesn't have free WiFi nowadays?


I hope you're not planning on watching porn, Toby.

I was hoping to use Skype and possibly Netflix later but I'm not even sure it'll cope with those.

[simon]

Netflix and chilling on your own. :(

[Giggles]

Always travel with a Micro SD full of stuff. Though you're right, any hotel without complimentary WiFi over 2GB in this day and age (unless the speed is impossible to attain due to location) is a hole.

[Toby]

Netflix and chilling on your own. :(

Don't be that guy.

[simon]

I've been that guy all of my life.

[Benny]

What's your hotel and room number? Let's start a kickstarter to get Toby some entertainment tonight.

[Toby]

There's a cinema next door so I might just go watch Spectre.

Although I'd like to see Only Connect and probably won't be able to iPlayer it when I get back. What a quandary.

[Kikó]

A Quandary of Solace.

[Benny]

His own fault for not being an inSpectre of the hotels Wifi policy.

[Giggles]

Goldeneye.

[Toby]

Cinema is sold out already so I'll have to try another day.

[simon]

A Quandary of Solace.

I enjoyed this.

[Waffdon]

These mongs on pointless. what the fuck

[Luca]

Popcorn Time is down after some internal strife. This fucks me off immensely.

http://www.theverge.com/2015/10/26/9614354/popcorn-time-io-fork-down

[simon]

Seething. Popcorn Time was so, so good.

[Shindig]

Finding a thing and then realising you don't have the charge cable for it.

[Lewis]

That Just Eat advert does my head in.

[Toby]

I got my flight ticket upgraded to include executive lounge access this morning and was joking with my girlfriend that I wouldn't begrudge a delay as I'd be able to make the most of all the freebies. Lo and behold... :moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I hope you like peanuts and apple juice. And gleaming shoes.

[Toby]

If I didn't have to drive whenever I get back I'd be firing into the booze. As it is scones with clotted cream will have to do.

[Toby]

Two hours down. One more and they'll owe me €250 compensation. :drool:

[Benny]

You, or your work?

[Magic]

Shit theres a good question.

[Toby]

You, or your work?

I was thinking about that, I'm not really sure what would have happened. The compensation is unlinked to the booking though (you get a cheque in the post rather than a refund to the booking card), and as it's meant to be for passenger inconvenience rather than added costs (which are covered on top) I think I'd have felt okay pocketing it.

Not that any of this matters, as they called boarding about two minutes after my last post. As I seem to say so often, there must be a way to harness my jinxing powers for personal gain.

[Benny]

People (old) doing their weekly shop in petrol stations. To me, a petrol station is meant to be a quick checkout, where you pay for fuel and maybe a snack or two. When you get a (usually older) person with a basket full of stuff, it completely slows down proceedings. Also, the stations are fucking expensive, who has the money to treat the place like a regular supermarket??

[Giggles]

People (old) doing their weekly shop in petrol stations. To me, a petrol station is meant to be a quick checkout, where you pay for fuel and maybe a snack or two. When you get a (usually older) person with a basket full of stuff, it completely slows down proceedings. Also, the stations are fucking expensive, who has the money to treat the place like a regular supermarket??

The petrol station where my parents live is like this and it's a pain in the hole. They have no queueing system either so while someone is buying the bread and crap for the week there's around 3 random queues that form down separate aisles and nobody has any clue what the fuck is going on.

Worst of all is the summer. They have a cone machine up the far end but when someone gets to the till and asks for 4 cones for their horrid sprogs, off trots the one manning the till to pull the ice creams, leaving everyone else standing there like tits. And then the next fucker asks for cones too :mad:

[SvN]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-england-merseyside-34619327

Why is this a thing? What can possibly happen at a fucking funeral that warrants a live text updates feed?

[Disco]

It's a substitute for actual journalism.

[Lewis]

My friend's [Facebook] friend was live-Facebooking their dad croaking in hospital the other week.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-england-merseyside-34619327

Why is this a thing? What can possibly happen at a fucking funeral that warrants a live text updates feed?

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--Y4rQGUuk--/672255495615691297.gif

[Kikó]

I'm surprised that Liverpool could live feed a funeral.

[Magic]

I'm surprised that Liverpool could live feed a funeral.

We'll probably find out how well they can do it at one of their next European games.

:henn0rz:

[Boydy]

One of the guys I work with sometimes makes stuff up just to see if people will believe what he says. So last week he told me we were meant to be dressing up as the T Birds from Grease and I thought he was bullshitting me. Turns out it's true.

:moop:

[phonics]

I wouldn't have joined in even if it were true so you're fighting the good fight.

[Yevrah]

Fancy dress really is absolute dirt.

[Lee]

I've done it only once, for a Halloween party in my first year at uni. I only did it because I wanted to fuck the girl who was hosting the party.

She copped off with somebody else and me and my mate met some Finnish blokes on our walk home, got talking and went to their flat to drink horrific home brew. That ended in my first ever two day hangover.

[Manc]

People who dither when they walk.

[Boydy]

It's going to look shit anyway. We're just going to be wearing t-shirts and jeans (fuck the leather jackets, it's far too warm in the bar for that) with slicked-back hair so it'll just look a bit silly.

[Magic]

So Christmas is booked, £115 for three, one of whom probably won't like what's there. Absolutely unreal waste of money, spent with a bunch of cunts. How's that for all you swellheads who moan about going to family barbecues etc?

[Davgooner]

Opened a pack of love-hearts (yep) to find one emblazoned with 'YOLO'.

You fucking what?

[Magic]

Brilliant, now the stupid cunt wife asked me to order something because she wasn't sure it went through on her phone, so I did. Went to check my confirmation email and found two, one from earlier, as the stupid bitch obviously did put it through. I wasn't notified because my stupid fucking Moto E can't get emails because it's fucking full despite having fuck all on it.

Fucking what a shite, SHITE day.

[Spoonsky]

Love-hearts in November, what a pervert.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Love-hearts in November, what a pervert.

They're a Halloween favourite.

Dav must have been out trick or treating last night, the hero.

[Baz]

They're a Halloween favourite.

Dav must have been out trick or treating last night, the hero.A little boy asked me if I was trick-or-treat'ing last night, as I was walking to the pub with Mike and our mate. :chortle:

[Benny]

Must have thought you were wearing a mask.

:baz:

[Davgooner]

They're a Halloween favourite.

Dav must have been out trick or treating last night, the hero.

:nodd:

[Davgooner]

Also, and it's a bit of a slow-burner this, but this fucking Vanish Tip Exchange adverts fuck me right off.

[Giggles]

Just got a text to say my new glasses won't be ready to pick up until Friday now. For €340 they could get a fucking move-on.

[Shindig]

My toilet seat won't stay up.

[Spoonsky]

Daylight Savings Time. Suddenly it's dark at 6:00 PM, and light by 7:00 AM. Nobody gives a fuck if it's light in the morning but now the whole evening is dark for half the year. :(

[Pepe]

Daylight savings time just ended, so the one that fucks you off is the 'regular' time. I agree though, it was already pitch dark when I left the lab and bright at 6am when I don't give a fuck.

[Toby]

I'd normally be in the same boat, but I'm often getting up at 6.30am for work at the moment and it's definitely preferable having some sunlight for the drive up than the one home.

[Lee]

It will soon be dark for both journeys. That's when all the positivity will be drained out of me. I hate it. Only snow will cheer me up at that time of the year.

[Benny]

Snow and boxes of chocolate during Christmas periods.

[Lee]

And wanking.

[Davgooner]

See, I fucking love it when the mornings and nights black up. That lingering fog yesterday as well; we were completely closed in all day. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Finding out that I actually have 10 days fewer than I thought with my next assignment :(

[Yevrah]

People at work who call your mobile on one number, but leave a message for you to call them back on another number.

What the fuck is that all about?

[Magic]

The 'most viewed/favourited/commented' bits on porn sites (proper ones, not lol ones like redtube etc)

It's nearly all incest/scat/tranny. Guess people are morbid fuckers.

[Benny]

Who's commenting on porn videos is a question I always find myself wondering, just what's the point in commenting something about the way her tits bounce?

[Boydy]

I love porn comments. They're hilarious.

[niko_cee]

I only look at it for the comments . . .

[simon]

Who's commenting on porn videos is a question I always find myself wondering, just what's the point in commenting something about the way her tits bounce?

I also wonder about this.

[Raoul Duke]

This is pretty mega: http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com

[Magic]

I'll have a browse of some Motherless comments tonight, though that'll involve some pretty tasty URLs.

[simon]

http://41.media.tumblr.com/977c49c37ef99a64d1051d67fa43a3ff/tumblr_na5h0pS3sy1sm2o07o1_1280.png

:D

[Boydy]

This is pretty mega: http://pornhubcommentsonstockphotos.tumblr.com

:D

I was trying to find the Twitter account for that earlier but the only one I could find had like 5 tweets and it definitely had way more than that when I saw it before.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://41.media.tumblr.com/207090a4e368ce25499984dbe4cb2f06/tumblr_n5gqdyymhY1sm2o07o1_1280.png

Fucking hell :D

[Ian]

http://40.media.tumblr.com/e432170cce22808075871be0117e41be/tumblr_n68j47OFsv1sm2o07o1_1280.png

[Spoonsky]

Who's commenting on porn videos is a question I always find myself wondering, just what's the point in commenting something about the way her tits bounce?

Mahow.

[Raoul Duke]

Fireworks. What a bucket of bollocks. Just fuck off, you twats.

[Toby]

Fair play to John Lewis, it seems some people get genuinely excited about their Christmas adverts before they even air now. They've got some countdown sort of thing going and it'll apparently 'launch' tomorrow, which seems to have various people who should really have more self-respect pissing themselves in anticipation.

[Yevrah]

Is Taz one of them? He liked a good John Lewis advert, rather bizarrely.

[Nick]

When someone pays you cash and the notes are upside down and/or back to front so I have to sit there getting them all into order and making sure they are face up. :mad:

Thankfully I don't work in retail otherwise I think this sort of behaviour, on a daily basis, would send me over the edge.

[Benny]

What jobs do you do that are cash in hand? I hope you'll be paying your necessary taxes.

:sherlock:

[Toby]

Why do they have to be face up? I've never heard anybody mention that before.

[Giggles]

What fucks you off is your ocd then.

[Nick]

What jobs do you do that are cash in hand? I hope you'll be paying your necessary taxes.

:sherlock:

Nothing shady going on here! They pay the company, but that goes through me. It's not my personal money.


Why do they have to be face up? I've never heard anybody mention that before.


What fucks you off is your ocd then.

I've never thought of it as OCD. Is having all your notes up the right way not the norm?

Everyone has their notes face up in their wallet, surely?

[Toby]

What is fucking me off today is the relentless noise of the bastard wind. It's bad enough that it nearly takes the car door every time you open it, but the fact you can't even sit inside and pretend it's not there is seriously annoying.



I've never thought of it as OCD. Is having all your notes up the right way not the norm?

Everyone has their notes face up in their wallet, surely?

Not me. What difference does it make?

[CJay]

I just put my notes in my wallet, couldn't care less what way they're facing. I definitely find it weird that you do.

[SvN]

Another one to add to the TTH Mentalist list.

[Raoul Duke]

I have my notes the right way up in my wallet, ordered from back-to-front in descending value :nodd:

[Nick]

I have my notes the right way up in my wallet, ordered from back-to-front in descending value :nodd:

That I'm not the only one has made me feel a bit better.

[Davgooner]

I bet you eat burgers with a spoon as well, you fuckers.

[niko_cee]

Isn't having money in vaguely the right order in your wallet just a function of the way you get it out of a machine?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Being woken up by cramp.

[niko_cee]

I have sort of lost my wallet in my house. This is annoying.

[Lewis]

One day people will realise what a visionary I was never having a wallet.

[Giggles]

Sooner the better all this phone NFC stuff comes out properly and I can have my ATM card and fuel card on there and carry nothing else.

[Raoul Duke]

I can pay for stuff with my phone already. It's pretty neat.

There are some NFC cashpoints I've seen but they're not very widespread. Would seal the deal really.

[Giggles]

I can pay for stuff with my phone already. It's pretty neat.

There are some NFC cashpoints I've seen but they're not very widespread. Would seal the deal really.

I live in a third world country technologically so it'll be a long time before I can do it.

[simon]

Being woken up by cramp.

How do you get cramp whilst sleeping?

[Magic]

I used to when I had been running and then drinking the same night. Dehydration gave me horrible hamstring cramps.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I've been awakened with it in my calf. It's hard to describe how sore it is, feels like the muscle is about to explode. Still feel it for a couple of days after.

[Toby]

How do you get cramp whilst sleeping?

I'm surprised you seem surprised by that, it's very common. Cramp isn't necessarily to do with overexertion, it's just a sudden contraction of muscles. When sleeping it's usually due to dehydration combined with an awkward sleeping position.

[SvN]

I've woken up a few times with cramp. It usually ends up in me limping around the room screaming like a madman, terrifying my wife.

[Boydy]

Could be worse, she could be waking up to you shitting in a magazine.

[Giggles]

A night on the stout will normally have me waking with cramps. Doesn't happen with other drink though strangely enough.

[simon]

I'm surprised you seem surprised by that, it's very common. Cramp isn't necessarily to do with overexertion, it's just a sudden contraction of muscles. When sleeping it's usually due to dehydration combined with an awkward sleeping position.

Yeah, I just associate it with over-exercise and lactic acid, which is obviously pretty difficult when you're fast asleep. Didn't realise it was so common that people got it whilst sleeping.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's fucking awful.

You wake up screaming (or fighting to hold it back) and the muscle feels like it's being torn out of your leg.

[Pen]

Could be worse, she could be waking up to you shitting in a magazine.

That was a good story :D

Holidays are the worst for cramps for me as I always end up walking loads and drinking quite a bit. Add heat during the day and a room with an AC and ahoy annoying cramps.

[Raoul Duke]

I get that occasionally. Basically the worst pain imaginable.

[Foe]

I absolutely love the feeling before cramp sets in, where your muscles are just wiggling about.

It's a risk obviously, but I often try and induce cramp in my thighs for that feeling. Then stretch it out at the last second. :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

Pervert

[Magic]

I absolutely love the feeling before cramp sets in, where your muscles are just wiggling about.

It's a risk obviously, but I often try and induce cramp in my thighs for that feeling. Then stretch it out at the last second. :drool:

Cramp wanking is a new one on me.

[Magic]

Actually just fucking lol @ that post. Inducing cramp. What the fuck?

:D

[John]

You're a fucking deviant, Foe.

[Giggles]

That's the sort of thing you do with a ball strapped in your mouth.

[Magic]

Or dressed up as a My Little Pony.

[phonics]

I farted a good 40 minutes ago and my room still smells of it.

[mugbull]

You probably shit yourself

[Foe]

I can't be the only one.
But at the same time
I don't want to end up in some weirdo club like hammer joined.

[Toby]

That's a really shit poem mate.

[Giggles]

:D I'd rep you Toby if I wasn't on mobile.

[Bob Sacamano]

This probably say's more about where I live but the amount of time I see (young) parents with their child and have both headphones in.

On the flip side working in pubs/restaurants the amount of teenage kids I used to see out on a family meal with headphones in completely ignoring everyone.

[Lewis]

Possibly the wrong thread, but:

We had a new fire fitted today, and I was interrogating the gas expert man on the state of our seethe-inducingly shit boiler that has been producing intermittent hot water for a year now. He had previously told my mother that the only way to fix it was to spend a billion quid on a new boiler, and she doesn't have a billion quid, but my eye-balling revealed that you can have all the pipes de-shitted as a 'short-term fix' for a closer to a hundred quid.

'We've had that boiler about eight years, so even if the "short-term fix" lasts two years...'

Then he started giving me the professional advice bit, and my mother also told me to give it a rest because they're professional gas exxperts. Whatever mate. I'm off to the gym where the showers work properly. I then come home and my mother is having a MELTDOWN on the phone because the fire isn't working. :harold:

[Pepe]

A fire?

[Charlie]

How can a fire not work? You put wood in it and it burns.

[niko_cee]

A gas fire.

[randomlegend]

Yeah, the 'gas expert man' was there fitting a woodburning fire, you fucking mongs.

[Magic]

We've disconnected our gas fire because it's a fucking bomb scare. Lol @ actively buying a new one.

[Disco]

Given the post is full of references to 'gas experts' I'm going to have a wild stab at it being a gas fuelled fire.

[Magic]

Molton and Pep firmly on the ropes here.

[Disco]

It's heartening that 4 sarky comments appeared within 2 minutes, I like that response time.

[Pen]

I don't get you Brits and your gas heating. It costs a fortune (in relative terms to what I pay back home) and doesn't seem very efficient.

[Magic]

It's far more efficient than electric/storage heating.

[Boydy]

I don't get you Brits and your gas heating. It costs a fortune (in relative terms to what I pay back home) and doesn't seem very efficient.

Everything's expensive here.

[Pepe]

When you say 'getting a new fire fitted' what exactly are you talking about? A furnace? A boiler? A burner? I'm not confused about the fuel used, but I am not sure how one fits 'a fire'.

EDIT: It's a fireplace you're talking about, isn't it?

[Pen]

Everything's expensive here.

More so in here.

It might be just the utterly shit insulation in the flats I was in then MJ.

[Magic]

Do you think the SS had gas engineers?

[Samadini]

In the last 12 months I've gone from being flawless in the head hair department, to a bit of an embarrassment. It's all happened so fast and I'm terrified to find what 2016 has in store for me.

I blame London.

[Lewis]

Mate. What has happened?

[Disco]

Go full combover.

[Samadini]

I'm still safe on top for now, but I'm receding at the sides like a mother lover. It's a rapid decline, absolute shambles. I'm seething about it to be honest.

[Lewis]

The baldest lad I know started growing it back when his black wife was away for a few months, but when she came back it just evaporated. It might be worth cutting down on the soul food and avoiding high-sass situations.

[Disco]

I'm still safe on top for now, but I'm receding at the sides like a mother lover. It's a rapid decline, absolute shambles. I'm seething about it to be honest.

Mine did that, went back fairly rapidly then stopped before getting too bad.

[Samadini]

I'm also going grey. Is that normal at this age or am I dying or something?

Again I blame London.

[Disco]

Greying here too, have been for ages, mainly at the sides in a reasonably distinguished fashion rather than going full Schofield.

[Shindig]

I've lost the front since 24 but its held steady enough not to go full chrome. Been greying at the sides for the last year. You don't notice it much til I grow it out a bit. I'm not fussed about it.

[Magic]

When people have to swim through countless loyalty or points cards to get about 0.0003p worth of points. Its fucking pathetic and you look like a cunt.

[Foe]

Let's see a pic sama.

My year is Shetland destroyed my hair. It was never good before but it rapidly declined whilst I was away.

One of the many reasons of seethe I have towards that year in my
Life.

[Pen]

I'm still safe on top for now, but I'm receding at the sides like a mother lover. It's a rapid decline, absolute shambles. I'm seething about it to be honest.

You need to start rocking a Jazzy Jeff or a Will Smith (both circa the Fresh Prince).

[Lewis]

Uncle Phil might be easier.

[Luke Emia]

How the BBC doesn't feel the need to differentiate women's sport from men's sport on their website.

Just saw a story of Dowie being loaned from Liverpool to Melbourne. Instead of giving me that half second of what the fuck is Iain Dowie doing just tag it with 'women's football' and I can continue to not give a shit.

[Shindig]

You mean the accompanying pictures didn't give it away?

[Magic]

She does look like a manly rug muncher to be fair.

[Luke Emia]

You mean the accompanying pictures didn't give it away?

I realised so didn't click on the link.

[Boydy]

My mother's done her back in (I don't know how, she doesn't do anything). She can hardly get out of bed at the minute and I basically feel like I need to stay at home and do shit around the house. This is like a glimpse into my worst nightmare which is if my dad kicks the bucket first out of the two of them and I have to stay here/move back to look after her because she's seemingly useless.

Being an only child is such a fucking burden. Why can't I have brothers or sisters to deal with this shit?

[Magic]

I bet she's a fat mess.

[Boydy]

Not fat really, no.

At least my parents are still together.

[Magic]

On a disturbing side note, I just watched a bit of the Yusaf Mack vid that's been released (he claimed he wasn't gay and he was drugged on the set of this gay porn film :D). It started off with the news story so I continued on thinking it would just be descriptive and it cut to him ramming two giant black cocks down his throat.

He's married and fathers TEN kids. LOL.

Anyway now I can't get that image out of my head.