The little things in life that fuck you off

[Spikey M]

Yeah, but I don't like sitting on the cold seat plus I just feel better knowing I'm not in direct contact with it. I'm really cautios with hygiene
.

I’m assuming the toilet paper is kept next to the toilet? Yeah, that’s covered in the same bacteria that the toilet seat is, and it hasn’t been treated with bleach.

[Dquincy]

Have I ever told you about the time I got caught with diahorea in a female netball changing room with nothing but a parish magazine? That was not a high point in my life.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Being woken up at half eight on a SATURDAY with one of those giant saws cutting through concrete.

If you lot think that's an acceptable time/date I hope you get fucking sodomised.

[Spikey M]

I’d say 9am, but it’s half an hours difference you slobbering mess.

[bruhnaldo]

So i'm in a group chat with other people that I go to Orlando City games with and naturally there's a couple other Man United supporters in the group.

At any rate, the other two will always use "Man U" and growing up, hell I think it was on an iteration of this forum when it was still the Dugout, I learned how "Man U" is basically a derogatory term for the club and about all the chants w/r/t the Munich crash etc. etc.

I was talking about not being able to get to Miami for our cup match tonight and he said "Well Man U made their second signing of the summer if it makes you feel better"

No no you've only made it worse but thanks for trying.

[Kikó]

Man U has nothing to do with Munich.

[bruhnaldo]

The chants about Munich though I thought?

[Spikey M]

Why is Man U an insult? It’s short for United, surely, you fucking mega tarts.

[Giggles]

Who the the fuck told you that Bruh? :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought it was bullshit but there's something there:

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b&ei=GyUYW_TNINDvgAbEy4HoDw&q=man+u+derogatory+term&oq=man+u+derogatory+term&gs_l=psy-ab.3...2522.6565.0.6762.10.10.0.0.0.0.107.715.9j1. 10.0..2..0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.5.365...0j0i131k1j0i67k1j0i20i263k1.0.0qm74j tkBI4

Apparently it's because of songs from Leeds and Liverpool just after the Munich disaster.

[Baz]

Where I’m from “Man U” is basically what pretend football fans call them, and actual football fans just call them United.

[Lewis]

The Munich stuff is new to me, but I always took 'Man U' (and 'Man Yoo') to be a reference to how all the 'plastics' and Asians would refer to the club they claim to support, thereby serving - like 'Chelski', or 'Le(?) Arsenal' - as a way of criticising the club and its successful identity whilst being better than your own.

EDIT: What Baz said.

[Dquincy]

:D Amazing.

[Pepe]

Americans and football. :face:

[Pepe]

In Fifa 18 you can choose the commentary language, and 'Mexican Spanish' is an option. When you select it, you get two South America cunts as commentators. :face:

[Spikey M]

I thought it was bullshit but there's something there:

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b&ei=GyUYW_TNINDvgAbEy4HoDw&q=man+u+derogatory+term&oq=man+u+derogatory+term&gs_l=psy-ab.3...2522.6565.0.6762.10.10.0.0.0.0.107.715.9j1. 10.0..2..0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.5.365...0j0i131k1j0i67k1j0i20i263k1.0.0qm74j tkBI4

Apparently it's because of songs from Leeds and Liverpool just after the Munich disaster.

What a load of bollocks. If they sang ‘United’ in those songs would that become derogatory? The U isn’t part of the insult. U fUcking mega tarts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a load of bollocks. If they sang ‘United’ in those songs would that become derogatory? The U isn’t part of the insult. U fUcking mega tarts.

Oh it's completely batshit.

[Spikey M]

In Fifa 18 you can choose the commentary language, and 'Mexican Spanish' is an option. When you select it, you get two South America cunts as commentators. :face:

Who do you want, Lil Yeezy and Big Papa from tha bloc?

[Pepe]

Any two Mexicans would do.

[Pepe]

Or at least get one of the decent S. American ones. Kempes is complete shit.

[Spikey M]

‘C’mon lil pea maneee, you gotta to be shooting from der maneee’

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'Just let me take a lil snooze, ese'.

[Pepe]

I love that the idea of Mexicans that you have is Mexican-Americans. Yet another thing the US has ruined.

[Spikey M]

There is nothing, NOTHING, America hasn’t ruined. The whole of Central and Northern-South America is a war zone to feed Hollywood’s Coke habit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love that the idea of Mexicans that you have is Mexican-Americans. Yet another thing the US has ruined.

Says the prick who shunned the family landscaping business.

Six generations deeply shamed by you.

[mugbull]

There is nothing, NOTHING, America hasn’t ruined. The whole of Central and Northern-South America is a war zone to feed Hollywood’s Coke habit.

Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there

[bruhnaldo]

You British plundered half the world for your own profit, let's not pass it off as the age of enlightenment.

[Spikey M]

Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there

Africa? What about Asia and the Middle East. Credit us where it’s due. Sheesh, what us with it where due. What is it with plastic yanks?


You British plundered half the world for your own profit, let's not pass it off as the age of enlightenment.

Better.

Although you win for being cunts both historically and presently. We lost our way.

[niko_cee]

Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?

[bruhnaldo]

Who the the fuck told you that Bruh? :D

You people did! I was like 12 or 13 when I first started posting on the dugout. I used to say "Man U" and it was all oh you fuckin plastic blah blah blah so from that point on I was like welp I better not call them that.

Then to be completely and totally honest about this entire bit, I didn't really remember why, and then when I 'did-a-google' that's what came up. I just assumed that was what (whoever posted on that version of this website at the time) must have told me back then lololol

[bruhnaldo]

Although you win for being cunts both historically and presently. We lost our way.

So much winning I'm getting sick of winning :drool:

[mugbull]

Africa? What about Asia and the Middle East. Credit us where it’s due. Sheesh, what us with it where due. What is it with plastic yanks?


Huh?

[Spikey M]

Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there


Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?

Yeah, the French and Belgians fucked them up best. Although @Jimmy will be able to give a full history of the continent in 500 words or more.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?

Yep. As an African, getting the British was a bit of a lottery win as we largely just extracted 'taxes' and stayed out of it. If you got the French you were unlucky (off to the pastry parlour with you), and if you got the Belgians, well.

Everyone always cites the Mau Mau stuff as an example of how terrible we are/were, but that's nothing compared to literally anything that happened in the Belgian Congo between 1890 and 1970.

[mugbull]

Aren't the bits of Africa we pissed about in probably the least fucked up bits (relatively speaking here)?

Kenya is your claim to fame. But the French equally have Cameroon which is a cool place so it’s a tie

[mugbull]

Yep. As an African, getting the British was a bit of a lottery win as we largely just extracted 'taxes' and stayed out of it. If you got the French you were unlucky (off to the pastry parlour with you), and if you got the Belgians, well.
:D

The spirit of Winston Churchill lives on in every entitled British royalist

[Jimmy Floyd]

:D

The spirit of Winston Churchill lives on in every entitled British royalist

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_African_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)_per_capita

Just look at that Belgo-froggie disaster pile up down the bottom. The Yanks making a nice guest appearance too.

[mugbull]

Equatorial Guinea being at the top of that list for finding some oil in their waters and having a population of 30 is the biggest lol and also a reflection of the joke that is GDP per capita. They were #1 in the world for a couple years too

[Spikey M]

:D

The spirit of Winston Churchill lives on in every entitled British royalist

The spirit of Rudolf Beran lives on in every Chamberlain hating Czech pretending to be American.

[mugbull]

There a lot of those?

[bruhnaldo]

The Yanks making a nice guest appearance too.

idk if you mean Liberia but holy shit I'm learning so much about this place now since they've only gone and stole our flag.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Equatorial Guinea being at the top of that list for finding some oil in their waters and having a population of 30 is the biggest lol and also a reflection of the joke that is GDP per capita. They were #1 in the world for a couple years too

You're right, this is probably a better list: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy_Index

Botswana chilling in the top 30 just above France.

[bruhnaldo]

Hold on, Spain, who held elections to split their country in half and then arrested everyone involved (or something like that I don't know the details you guys know that) have a higher democracy index than the Good Ol USA? I fuckin refuse.

[Spikey M]

Hold on, Spain, who held elections to split their country in half and then arrested everyone involved (or something like that I don't know the details you guys know that) have a higher democracy index than the Good Ol USA? I fuckin refuse.

Barcelona pretty much did what half of Texas want to do. How do you think Texas voting to become its own country, without having the referendum agreed before hand, would go down?

[bruhnaldo]

Texas is like the Caitlyn Jenner of states. They'd like to think they'd be better off without us but they know if they got the snip-snip they wouldn't get any real pleasure and the headaches would then outweigh the positives.

[Lewis]

Half of Africa, the Middle East and South Asia will be permanent genocidal killing fields thanks to a bunch of tarty Brits thinking the Crown was the coolest thing out there

That we got it down to half is monumental.

[Disco]

:D

[mugbull]

That we got it down to half is monumental.

Lewis, the White Mum's Burden

[Lewis]

Wahey. Seriously though.

[Spoonsky]

Lewis, the White Mum's Burden

:D That's good.

[Boydy]

That song in that Apple advert. Fucking hell.

[Shindig]

Saw my first cryptocurrency advert during the ITV match. :|

[Kikó]

It's a real thing you know.

[Shindig]

Nope, it's a terrifying future. One where all your appliances contribute to the blockchain. So you save £5 a week off an energy bill which has mysteriously ballooned. Con as fuck.

[Boydy]

Is that the HDAC advert? That's not cryptocurrency, it's just blockchain. They're not the same thing.

[Shindig]

Blockchains are secure by design and exemplify a distributed computing system with high Byzantine fault tolerance. Decentralized consensus has therefore been achieved with a blockchain.[9] This makes blockchains potentially suitable for the recording of events, medical records,[10][11] and other records management activities, such as identity management,[12][13][14] transaction processing, documenting provenance, food traceability[15], and voting.[16]

Didn't catch a word of that.

[mugbull]

Look up consensus in the context of blockchain, that’ll be the basis for a cursory understanding of the system

[randomlegend]

People who take an unreasonable amount of time to reply to emails (or just don't reply at all) fuck me off.

[Disco]

There's no football today, just rubbish non-sports like tennis. Fuck you tennis.

[Spikey M]

There's no football today, just rubbish non-sports like tennis. Fuck you tennis.

Second.

[Giggles]

Some bitch tried to pull a fly one over an accident earlier and now I'm raging I didn't fuck her over.

[Pepe]

My steering wheel seems to be slightly off-center.

[SincereTheRebel]

Remember that sweating problem I had a few years ago? I tried Driclor and it fixed it. The issue has returned, this time in a different area. I now have chronic ball sweat and its disgusting. I have tried various different materials for my underwear and none of it works. I dont want to put any type of products on my groin area. I'm too scared for that.

[mugbull]

There's no football today, just rubbish non-sports like tennis. Fuck you tennis.
??

What do you watch then eh? Are you one of those people that contribute to the bafflingly popular TTH WWE thread? Or is home & garden television more your thing?

[Boydy]

Bit touchy about tennis, like.

[Disco]

A thing I was enjoying stopped and the alternative is something I don't enjoy. I didn't think it was that hard to parse.

[John]

Bit touchy about tennis, like.

Liking tennis is about as close as Mokkers comes to a genuine personality trait. Little wonder he feels attacked by that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tennis is probably better if you're foreign. If you're British, it is TERRIBLE and everyone involved in it is a cunt.

[mugbull]

Tennis is probably better if you're foreign. If you're British, it is TERRIBLE and everyone involved in it is a cunt.

I feel like that’s just British people in general though

[Shindig]

We take our class warfare seriously.

[Giggles]

??

What do you watch then eh? Are you one of those people that contribute to the bafflingly popular TTH WWE thread? Or is home & garden television more your thing?

WWE is actually better than tennis. And WWE is complete shit.

[Spikey M]

Tennis is utter shit. It’s up there with Cricket and Darts in the ‘how does anyone watch this shit?’ Bin

[bruhnaldo]

Tennis is infinitely more interesting than most of the "sport" you folks enjoy.

Like previously mentioned I still can't get over "darts" being a thing that people watch.

[mugbull]

Darts doesn’t count as anything, it’s literally just a UK pub game.

Tennis is the beat combination of technique, athleticism, and 1 on 1 psychological dueling you’ll ever find. Unlike in football, you’ll get absolutely nowhere in tennis with a weak mentality

[bruhnaldo]

"Darts doesn’t count as anything, it’s literally just a UK pub game."

You say that but http://www.skysports.com/watch/darts-on-sky

[Disco]

Darts doesn’t count as anything, it’s literally just a UK pub game.

Tennis is the beat combination of technique, athleticism, and 1 on 1 psychological dueling you’ll ever find. Unlike in football, you’ll get absolutely nowhere in tennis with a weak mentality

Which is great but it doesn't really help if you find it dull as shit.


Oh and lol at darts, about 12 people watch it once a year it just seems like more because they're all loud cockneys and Colin Murray.

[bruhnaldo]

I assumed this until I watched IT Crowd and there was a joke about them "tucking in early and watching the darts" so I just then assumed it was a thing you guys do.

Oh and pool! You guys watch "billiards" wait no you call it "the snooker" or something right?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pool and snooker are different games.

[Giggles]

I assumed this until I watched IT Crowd and there was a joke about them "tucking in early and watching the darts" so I just then assumed it was a thing you guys do.

Oh and pool! You guys watch "billiards" wait no you call it "the snooker" or something right?

What the fuck are you on about?

[bruhnaldo]

Which part?

Don't act like you guys aren't enamored with pool I've literally read you all live-posting about that o'Sullivan guy at one point or another!

[Giggles]

Which part?

Don't act like you guys aren't enamored with pool I've literally read you all live-posting about that o'Sullivan guy at one point or another!

It's snooker, not the snooker. Also, billiards is a different game.

[bruhnaldo]

Look at the state of this

https://i.imgur.com/aQZMXQt.png

"Netball"
"GAA"
Two different types of rugby.
"Racing" and "Motorsport" are somehow two different things, which leads me to believe you all care about the 100m dash more than once every 4 years.

THE STATE OF IT, boys.

[bruhnaldo]

It's snooker, not the snooker. Also, billiards is a different game.

Oh rubbish everything is a "the" moment for you lads.

Rooney is over here talking about he's enjoying "the baseball" and "the MLS" you knew what I meaaaaaaan.

[Shindig]

Racing refers to Horse Racing. :dc:

[Giggles]

Oh rubbish everything is a "the" moment for you lads.

Rooney is over here talking about he's enjoying "the baseball" and "the MLS" you knew what I meaaaaaaan.

That's fine, but you didn't say the pool or the billiards.

Also, I'm not one of 'you lads'. We're very very very very very different. Thankfully.


.

[Giggles]

Look at the state of this

https://i.imgur.com/aQZMXQt.png

"Netball"
"GAA"
Two different types of rugby.
"Racing" and "Motorsport" are somehow two different things, which leads me to believe you all care about the 100m dash more than once every 4 years.

THE STATE OF IT, boys.

Netball is basketball for girls except you've to stand still, GAA isn't even shown on the UK version of Sky Sports, and racing is with horses.

[bruhnaldo]

That's fine, but you didn't say the pool or the billiards.

Also, I'm not one of 'you lads'. We're very very very very very different. Thankfully.


.

All of you are from England until my brain recognizes otherwise.

I mean hello "United" Kingdom, duh.

[Shindig]

United Kingdom. Aye, good effort.

[Giggles]

All of you are from England until my brain recognizes otherwise.

I mean hello "United" Kingdom, duh.

Yeah, neither.

[John]

All of you are from England until my brain recognizes otherwise.

I mean hello "United" Kingdom, duh.

It's a fucking burden having someone from Connecticut, such as yourself, on the board.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Americans are the worst.

[bruhnaldo]

And they say the English are bereft of humor or joy :drool:

[mugbull]

"Darts doesn’t count as anything, it’s literally just a UK pub game."

You say that but http://www.skysports.com/watch/darts-on-sky

Darts players are the guys you go to drinks with who are too boring for banter so they always keep trying to start a game in order that conversation is kept to a minimum

[Giggles]

Grown men wearing these. Horrible tramps and their disgusting feet.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2178/8871/products/product-image-275354759.jpg

[SincereTheRebel]

Anything with your toes on show as a male in public, is unacceptable

[Kikó]

I'm not sure if it's worse when they're wearing socks or not.

Is there a point in your life where you go, yeah that's the footwear for me?

[mugbull]

At that point they’re better with socks

[SvN]

A woman at work wears those. They're fucking disgusting.

[Spikey M]

You sacked someone for less.

[SvN]

Luckily she only wears them to and from work, and changes to more appropriate footwear at her desk.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've been roped into going to FriendsFest (http://friendsfest.co.uk/) next week and never liked Friends at all.

The only saving grace is that I'm not paying for my ticket.

[Giggles]

Why can't I see Mahows post here?

[igor_balis]

I wouldn't mind going to TedFest, but only if Linehan came and I could call him a twat.

[SvN]

My wife wanted to go to FriendsFest for her birthday, then did some research and discovered it was total shite.

[Lewis]

I picture something like those Winter Wonderland scams, with some half-series character telling Jennifer Aniston stories and a portacabin done up like the coffee shop to have your picture taken in for forty quid.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I picture something like those Winter Wonderland scams, with some half-series character telling Jennifer Aniston stories and a portacabin done up like the coffee shop to have your picture taken in for forty quid.

GUNTHER might be there.

[bruhnaldo]

I'm fucked off that there's a thing called "FriendsFest".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Plus, visitors will be able to dress up in some of the most unforgettable outfits and don the best wigs for the ultimate selfie moments.

There will also be a whole host of other activities including new Friends themed food stalls, a cocktail bar and the ultimate Friends quiz which fans can take part in live on stage. Fans will also be able to kick back and relax in the sunshine while watching some of the best moments from the TV show they are already immersed in, Friends.

It's going to be so bad.

[igor_balis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IoOZaYplNU

tth meet, lads?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd hope they have someone playing Major in the bar regaling us about his times in the West Indies.

Edit: I've just finished that. Why is that woman saying that this is her second time and she'll be going to the next one as well? The jokes are all in the show and will be the same every single fucking dinner too. Jesus.

[SvN]

Apparently, the set and props aren't even the originals, they're just reproductions. Shit ones.

[bruhnaldo]

They're hardly going to send the entire set across the ocean, are they?

[SvN]

It's about 4 bits of plasterboard and a few sofas.

[phonics]

That looks like hell on earth.

[Shindig]

I'd hope they have someone playing Major in the bar regaling us about his times in the West Indies.

Edit: I've just finished that. Why is that woman saying that this is her second time and she'll be going to the next one as well? The jokes are all in the show and will be the same every single fucking dinner too. Jesus.

It'll be the same person that keeps laughing at Del Boy falling through the bar. Also, when your 'comedy dining experience' has a laugh track, abandon ship.

[John]

I've never bought into the stuff about millennials being entitled shits, but the following tale of someone 'surviving' on twenty five quid an hour plus a combined monthly allowance of over a grand a month from her parents and grandfather, has made me furious and I'm now ready to spend heavily on shares.

I've never gone from nought to sixty as quickly as I did at '#blessed'.

https://www.refinery29.uk/money-diary-new-york-city-marketing-intern-income

[Alex]

If you had presented that to me without any sort of context I honestly would have assumed it was satire.

[Disco]

8:06 a.m. — I meditate...


*closes page*

[Boydy]

That's just some whiney rich kid. The usual 'millenials are entitled' nonsense comes from them wanting things like job security, a living wage, reasonable working hours and affordable housing. Y'know, all the things baby boomers had before they wrecked the economy and then started having a go at millenials.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've never bought into the stuff about millennials being entitled shits, but the following tale of someone 'surviving' on twenty five quid an hour plus a combined monthly allowance of over a grand a month from her parents and grandfather, has made me furious and I'm now ready to spend heavily on shares.

I've never gone from nought to sixty as quickly as I did at '#blessed'.

https://www.refinery29.uk/money-diary-new-york-city-marketing-intern-income

She also has her rent paid for her, her education, health insurance, phone and Netflix/Spotify/etc.

[bruhnaldo]

and a $1500 allowance, mind.

[Disco]

She works in HR Consulting too, which is a made up useless role, it's well into estate agent / telephone hygienist territory.

[Shindig]

Every cunt wants a personal struggle, don't they?

[igor_balis]

There was a belting Telegraph article about a young couple struggling to live on about 90k a year. It wasn't written from the perspective of them being unable to manage their finances, just genuinely a sob story about how hard it is to survive on that. People are fucking stupid.

[igor_balis]

I'm shit with my money but even I would struggle to see how I could massively increase my quality of life by earning more than about 40 grand a year. What do people even buy?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Acai bowls, wheatgrass and cocaine.

[Giggles]

Cars :drool:

[igor_balis]

I got quite into the latter for a little while but I realised I have zero tolerance for stimulants and ended up awake for 36 hours the last two times I had just a few lines. I mean it's obviously mostly (or entirely) speed, but as i cannot source anything better I've essentially retired from narcotics.

[Shindig]

They probably go on five holidays a year. Or maybe they've put their kids in some bollocks schooling. Or they could just be bullshitters. There's got to be a generation that spent as soon as they got their first taste of disposable income and never got out of the habit.

[Pepe]

That's just some whiney rich kid. The usual 'millenials are entitled' nonsense comes from them wanting things like job security, a living wage, reasonable working hours and affordable housing. Y'know, all the things baby boomers had before they wrecked the economy and then started having a go at millenials.

Gots to be flexible!

[Jimmy Floyd]

The only entitled people in the conversation are boomer columnists on £80k to write absolute shite.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've been roped into going to FriendsFest (http://friendsfest.co.uk/) next week and never liked Friends at all.

The only saving grace is that I'm not paying for my ticket.

It was indeed shit.

A couple of rooms from the supposed LA set, some special photo opportunities, three food trucks loosely based on the show (pizza, hot dog, vegetarian effectively) and a stage which hosted shit quizzes and a screen showing old episodes.

Probably worth it if you're quite adept at picking up ladies though tbh.

[Spikey M]

There’s literally nothing and nobody in the world that could get be to attend that. Fix up you mook.

[Spikey M]

Saying that, one of my mates went to Comicon with his girlfriend and paid £60(!!!!!!!) for a photo with the ORIGINAL POWER RANGERS. It’s a good job they had both gone dressed as Power Rangers too or they’d have looked silly. I will never stop bullying him for it. Tragic cunt.

[Shindig]

I've had family going to Harry Potter World in full Hogwartz gear.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There’s literally nothing and nobody in the world that could get be to attend that. Fix up you mook.

Bullshit, you'd go for your wife you lying shit.

[Spikey M]

Nope. She’d go with her sister like she did to see McBusted. I have limits and a fucking Friends convention is well beyond them.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well we all know how weak I am.

[SincereTheRebel]

They have stopped selling the Colgate Total Pro Gum toothpaste at the local Morrisons. This is the third different store within a year where they have stopped selling it. Im just going to bulk buy online.

[Giggles]

I know a guy who'll sort you out with a new brush too.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive got brushes. I don't mess around with the eltrical ones. They are rubbish. They don't clean as good as they original non-electrical ones.

[Baz]

They have stopped selling the Colgate Total Pro Gum toothpaste at the local Morrisons. This is the third different store within a year where they have stopped selling it. Im just going to bulk buy online.dont worry... https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2171-OralB-3D-White-Luxe-Perfection-toothpaste

[Spikey M]

Ive got brushes. I don't mess around with the eltrical ones. They are rubbish. They don't clean as good as they original non-electrical ones.

How many brushes are we talking here?

[Giggles]

The sudden spate of hockey experts everywhere today. Bandwagon twats.

[bruhnaldo]

ooh I love hockey but i am no expert.

[Giggles]

ooh I love hockey but i am no expert.

I'd assume with you being an American you mean different hockey.

[bruhnaldo]

I'd also assume that given there's apparently other hockey that I certainly do. Sorry :)

[Spikey M]

I have literally never met a ‘Hockey expert’. I’m not even sure I’ve met someone who likes it.

[John]

'Journalists' packing their articles with a load of pointless adjectives as a means of trying to cover the fact that they don't actually have anything interesting to say.

I went to read an article about Better Call Saul just now and was met with this absolute shambles of a paragraph.


But in 2008 the world was not quite prepared for one of the greatest TV dramas ever and Breaking Bad’s season one ratings were thumpingly modest (in the UK it crept out on the digital channel Fox, to deafening indifference).

'Deafening indifference' would be bad enough, but 'thumpingly modest' should see the author banned from writing in English forever.

[Mazuuurk]

I'd also assume that given there's apparently other hockey that I certainly do. Sorry :)

What commonwealth people (and perhaps more) refer to as Hockey is played on a large grass pitch, playing with a small ball and with short wooden sticks. (that sounds.. fuck it).
What you are thinking about they refer to as Ice Hockey.

[Disco]

Would they call it Field Hockey? And it's mainly played on astroturf these days. Marginally superior to ice hockey as you can sometimes see the ball.

[bruhnaldo]

Field Hockey's the one.

Also you can see the puck plenty in hockey you just gotta get used to it :)

[mugbull]

Lacrosse is better than field hockey if we’re going there

[bruhnaldo]

Lolcrosse. Anyways.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lacrosse is better than field hockey if we’re going there

Just when America wins me over again, I always remember that men (or rather, boys) playing lacrosse is a big thing.

At my boys' school, which was next to a girls' school, they once did an exhibition match whereby the 1st XI football team were forced to don skirts and take on the girls at lacrosse. How the whole endeavour wasn't reported to the police I have no idea.

[bruhnaldo]

It's really not a thing. Only scrawny white kids who can't play any other sports pick it up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Here it is girls only, like netball. Actually I don't think netball has ever made it out of the commonwealth, and nor should it to be honest.

[mugbull]

I don't particularly like lacrosse nor do I care, but lacrosse players are always among the most athletic kids wherever I've seen them. Scrawny is for basketball and tennis (through high school, anyway). Have no idea how you could be a scrawny lacrosse player, you're fighting people with sticks and throwing balls out of those sticks.

[niko_cee]

At my boys' school, which was next to a girls' school, they once did an exhibition match whereby the 1st XI football team were forced to don skirts and take on the girls at lacrosse. How the whole endeavour wasn't reported to the police I have no idea.

We did that with netball, sans the skirts. Which fucking idiot came up with that sport?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Someone who wanted women to know their place (Wing Defence, in this case).

[mikem]

Prep school kids like me played lacrosse. Strangely, I’ve never actually seen a game on television but this is what I remember from twenty odd years of playing it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XouEgqXqRjQ

[niko_cee]

I always imagined lacrosse being played out on some windy rain-soaked bog (must have been conflating it with hurling), not being a non-ice version of puckball.

[mikem]

Either outdoors on baseball diamonds or indoors with AstroTurf over a floor covering the ice in a hockey rink. My guess is that must be in Canada where they have some purpose built whatever they are called. Those only exist in the US at places like where Jared Kushner went to high school.

[Spikey M]

He only thing Ibknow about Lacrosse is that the boring one out of American Pie played it.

[Foe]

He only thing Ibknow about Lacrosse is that the boring one out of American Pie played it.

Couple of guys I went to uni with starting playing it. They were not athletic guys and faired quite well at it. Says everything you need to know about the sport to me.

It's bloody hard though. Hand eye coordination is pretty much the key skill.

[Lewis]

I got drenched yesterday in the rain, and I think my iPod has had it. 2007 to 2018. What a thing.

[Pepe]

Time to buy a turtleneck.

[Lewis]

How would that have helped?

[Spikey M]

You’d still have a broken iPod but atleast you’d get to look gay.

[mo]

Watching an absolute beast of a woman berate a lifeguard for having the temerity to mover her sunbeds so that he could put his little tower stool out whilst on holiday. Did we learn nothing from Gareth Southgate?

[Yevrah]

Sinks.

I should imagine the humble sink was perfected decades ago and really the only thing that should be messed with now is the colour.

Despite this, people seem to think it's a good idea to have one with a flat basin (so none of the shit that falls in it naturally washes down) and the latest perversion I've just stumbled upon, one with a plug that you can't remove.

I mean.

[Lewis]

Yes mate (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2277-Public-toilets&p=286159&viewfull=1#post286159). I was in a pub yesterday with ones so shallow that the tap (one of the push-down ones, so offering you no pressure choice) blasted water up into your crotch like some Beadle's About shit.

[Spikey M]

The sink at my work is absolutely fucking perfectly shaped to redirect the water back up the bowl, over the edge and onto your trousers.

[igor_balis]

I demand a two-sink setup for the kitchen. One basin to wash, one to rinse. Perverts who give their plates a cursory wipe in a sink full of dirty soapy water then immediately put them on the drying rack make me sick, it's like drying your hair immediately after putting shampoo in it. SCUM.

[igor_balis]

Also I hate how my flappy foreskin means I have to either shake my cock dry for about half a minute, making me look like a perv wanking in the urinal or use the cubicle like a piss-shy freak. On the plus side, having to use toilet paper after I piss means I'm far more in touch with womankind.

[Baz]

Get it cut off like a real man.

[phonics]

Also I hate how my flappy foreskin means I have to either shake my cock dry for about half a minute, making me look like a perv wanking in the urinal or use the cubicle like a piss-shy freak. On the plus side, having to use toilet paper after I piss means I'm far more in touch with womankind.

Just pull it back when you piss you weirdo.

[igor_balis]

Just pull it back when you piss you weirdo.

As well as flappy foreskin I also have a slightly too big urethra so pulled back the piss just goes everywhere. Neither issue is severe enough to require medical attention though, it's just annoying.

[Bam]

I now know far to much about Igors cock than I've ever wanted to know.

[igor_balis]

:D sorry bam

[bruhnaldo]

TMI, fam.

[bruhnaldo]

When people call, the phone rings out, and then they call immediately right back.

Mate, they didn't answer the first time. OOOOOOOOh my God and they've done it again. 3 times now.

(I work in a shared office)

[igor_balis]

you're just jealous of my big meaty foreskin you circumcised yanky freak

[Magic]

I watched my wife's gran cut a scone vertically.

WTF.

[Magic]

Also I hate how my flappy foreskin means I have to either shake my cock dry for about half a minute, making me look like a perv wanking in the urinal or use the cubicle like a piss-shy freak. On the plus side, having to use toilet paper after I piss means I'm far more in touch with womankind.

I'm not a freak you enlarged urethra cunt.

[bruhnaldo]

Not to be weird but uncircumsized freaks me out. Not that I spend a lot of time on the subject but yikes!

Glad my parents were sensible folk.

[John]

It's an interesting tribute to a wonderful singer to talk about your urethra frankly.

[Magic]

It's an interesting tribute to a wonderful singer to talk about your urethra frankly.

Jog on you utter fanny.

[bruhnaldo]

Last entry for the day:


It's an interesting tribute to a wonderful singer to talk about your urethra frankly.

^this post

[Spoonsky]

Fuck the haters, that’s brilliant John.

[Byron]

I wouldn't worry, it wasn't Magic's turn to use the sole brain cell that Dundee has.

[Magic]

He hasn't posted since. On the ropes and crying in to his leased golden Nike basketball shoes.

[John]

He hasn't posted since. On the ropes and crying in to his leased golden Nike basketball shoes.

What? Even by your lofty standards that's utter nonsense.

[Magic]

What? Even by your lofty standards that's utter nonsense.

That's a nice tribute to a wonderful poster.

[Shindig]

I'll be honest, if John turned out to be a proper Ned, my day would be made up.

[Giggles]

This Pope thing is becoming highly inconvenient.

[Spikey M]

Pope thing?

[Boydy]

He's visiting Ireland.

[Giggles]

And having most of Dublin shut down for the weekend in the process.

[Spikey M]

How many noncing apologies have been scheduled?

[Giggles]

I'd expect lots of very vocal protests. The Gardaí will have their hands full keeping it all brushed under the rug.

They've already moved all the homeless out of the city :D

[bruhnaldo]

I realize this has been a few years now but it really does grind my gears that in F1 they stopped numbering the cars by constructors championship totals

When I was a kid and still had dreams of racing cars, I always imagined winning the championship and slapping that #1 on the nose... or even yet hoping that McLaren would win the championship and get the #1/#2 cars for the next season.

I wish people still cared about silly things like that.

[bruhnaldo]

https://cdn.motor1.com/images/mgl/kAnEN/s3/2009-174575-lewis-hamilton-with-2008-mclaren-mp4-23-and-1988-mclaren-honda-mp4-4-turbo1.jpg

It just makes more sense.

Now this dickhead is #44... what the fuck? #44?! Sigh.

[Spikey M]

The phrase ‘grind(s) my gears’.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Does it really grind your gears?

[Baz]

The Vic and Bob TV show Catterick had a few funny phrases in place of the likes of ‘pulling my leg,’ with a personal favourite being ‘are you fingering my fanny?’ :eyemouth:

[Disco]

It was something they brought in from Nascar (it may be a thing in US single seaters too but nobody watches that so it's hard to tell) where the drivers get/keep a number rather than the car. It plays into awful things like marketing and brand building (Bottas chose 77 so he can put his number into his name etc). It's somewhat academic as they make the numbers so small these days that you can't see them anyway. It's all cyclical though, back in the day (when all this was fields) Ferrari wouldn't have dreamt of running anything other than 27 and 28 on their cars, I think even our Nige was made to give up his red 5.

[Yevrah]

I never knew how they numbered the cars, but now I do that makes much more sense.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Except for years Ferrari arbitrarily had 27 and 28 (was that some mawkish thing about Villeneuve? Wouldn't have been like Enzo to give a shit about his drivers dying).

[niko_cee]

Not according to reddit:


It wasn't just a few years -- it was every year from 1981 until 1995.

Why? Because of the numbering system used in F1 then, which basically amounted to 'keep your numbers from year to year, unless one of your drivers wins the WDC, in which case you swap with last year's champion (who have '1' and '2').'

Scheckter won the WDC in '79 in a Ferrari, so Ferrari were '1' and '2' in 1980. Williams was '27' and '28'. Williams (Jones) won the championship that year, so they swapped with Ferrari. Ferrari didn't win anything for the next 10 years, so they stayed '27' and '28'.

Then in '90, Prost arrived fresh off his '89 WDC with McLaren and brought the '1' with him. Even though he won it with McLaren, McLaren had to swap with Ferrari and thus had '27' and '28' that year. Senna promptly won the WDC back, and therefore Ferrari and McLaren swapped again and Ferrari went back to 27 and 28.

Finally, in '96, they ditched the old system for a new one based on the WCC rankings. (Ferrari had hired away Schumacher anyway, so they were 1 and 2 again). As it was, the 27 and 28 were seen as something of an homage to Gilles Villeneuve (since he'd died in his #27), but it's really just because of how the numbers worked then.

[bruhnaldo]

It was something they brought in from Nascar (it may be a thing in US single seaters too but nobody watches that so it's hard to tell) where the drivers get/keep a number rather than the car. It plays into awful things like marketing and brand building (Bottas chose 77 so he can put his number into his name etc). It's somewhat academic as they make the numbers so small these days that you can't see them anyway. It's all cyclical though, back in the day (when all this was fields) Ferrari wouldn't have dreamt of running anything other than 27 and 28 on their cars, I think even our Nige was made to give up his red 5.

Ya actually in IndyCar they used to do it where all the drivers did have their own numbers but if you won the championship you could put #1 on your car basically.

I'm not sure if they still do it that way (I only turn up for the race in Tampa and don't really bother much else).

In NASCAR they've always done the # to team thing though like you said... the teams basically own the #'s themselves rather than the actual driver.

I realize the marketing bit is basically everything in sport nowadays (especially F1 where cash is so important). But I just wish that at least the World Champions would take the #1 if anything.

[Disco]

The 'original' system started in the 70's, they based the numbers off the standings at the end of one season (74?) and only swapped them around to accommodate the drivers champion getting number 1, hence why Tyrell ran 3 and 4 for about twenty years.

[Pepe]

I believe that in Nascar it is the car who scores points, not the driver. I might be way off, but that is what I remember.

[Disco]

Bikes might have been a better example, the riders tend to keep their own numbers in that.

[Shindig]

It's part of their branding, to be fair. I loved the two years where WDC's were 22. I love a good 0, too.

[bruhnaldo]

I believe that in Nascar it is the car who scores points, not the driver. I might be way off, but that is what I remember.

I'm pretty sure you're right to an extent.

A driver can win the championship, but if that driver changes teams, any determination made by "last year's points" is made with the car/team retaining those points from prior year.

If that made sense.

[Giggles]

Schools are back so traffic is muck again.

[Magic]

Ah 30 minute swimming lessons. Never has there been a bunch of adults that so desperately want to be somewhere else. Fits in perfectly with my autism/ADHD/anxiety/depression.

[bruhnaldo]

Constant talk about "the WhatsApp group".

Like we get it, you like each other enough to carry on a conversation all day.

Edit: And conversely, those who bring it up in the face of those who are in it as if it's a negative to enjoy having people in your lives.

[Magic]

LOL let's take our retort to the group lads.

[Pepe]

Reply to my message Magic.

[Mazuuurk]

Back in my day, we told people to PM Bam.

:yev:

[Disco]

That's for the secret forum. The Group is where all the anti-irish meetings are planned.

[Spikey M]

I reckon the real terrorists use the Haxball chat facility.

[Giggles]

The real terrorists should have had haxball as the first target.

[Ian]

Haxball. :(

Them were the days.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We should bring it back one night using Discord too.

What a plebroll that was, mates.

[Magic]

Reply to my message Magic.

Don't reply to minorities.

[Pepe]

Aren't you a minority over there by now?

[Magic]

No I've converted to Islam.

[niko_cee]

The increasing usage of the term 'delicious' to describe things in a sporting context ( - pass, - shot etc). It sounds borderline perverted and needs to stop.

[Giggles]

The increasing usage of the term 'delicious' to describe things in a sporting context ( - pass, - shot etc). It sounds borderline perverted and needs to stop.

If anyone can manage to get rid of it, can they please put 'disgusting' in the bin along with it? It's useful as a sure sign of an imbecile but it needs to go.

[Baz]

Genius is the worst.

Kevin de Bruyne isn’t a genius, he’s just a good footballer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think I've seen a genius on the football pitch. Maybe Zidane at his absolute best was the closest.

[Giggles]

You never seen Tony Sheridan.

[Lewis]

I think 'Zlatan' has the best claim of the last generation. Maybe Andres Iniesta. It's obviously pretty rare. United haven't had one since George Best.

[Kikó]

Let's forget Cantona 🤨

[Shindig]

I don't think genius is possible on a team sport of 11 a side.

[randomlegend]

Messi is a genius.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Genius is about doing things that others can't do. Messi doesn't do that, he just does things that others can do with a far greater degree of success and consistency.

Ronaldinho was closer.

[mugbull]

Genius is about doing things that others can't do. Messi doesn't do that, he just does things that others can do with a far greater degree of success and consistency.

Ronaldinho was closer.

That doesn’t make any sense

[randomlegend]

I disagree. Ronaldo is the epitome of what you're describing, I think Messi is different.

[Pepe]

Cuauhtemoc Blanco was the last true genius.

[Baz]

No footballer is a genius.

[mugbull]

Of course there are, unless you’re claiming that there is no such thing as genius to begin with. If there is, you can find it within most domains.

[Disco]

Exceptional talent or intelligence.

I'd say there's a few top top players that could fall into that category.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That doesn’t make any sense

Messi scores many more goals than Ronaldinho, but does Messi score, or conceive of, that one that Ronaldinho scored against Chelsea? I don't think he does.

The Ibrahimovic overhead kick against England is another example.

[mugbull]

You mean the one where he kicked it from a standing position? Dinho was pretty much out of options there and decided to risk it.

I think those examples are more indicative of players willing to attempt low-probability moves than anything else. Messi wouldn’t attempt the Ibra overhead (even if he was as tall as Ibra) because he’d know that’s not the play with the highest likelihood of success. Therein lies the genius, I think - the instinctual knowledge of what shot or pass is most likely to succeed

[mugbull]

Fwiw Ronnie D was probably a football genius too, but discounting Messi because he’s more effective and less flashy is nonsense

[phonics]

Speaking of that era of players. This interview is very fun.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwmdqUu0uaQ