The little things in life that fuck you off

[Baz]

Oh dear. :rosebud:

[SincereTheRebel]

Dickhead

[phonics]

How did you do that? Those lids are pretty solid. Did you refill an empty pot?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How did you do that? Those lids are pretty solid. Did you refill an empty pot?

Someone had put the pot on a backseat last week and today I had to break suddenly at one point and boom.

Edit: I did know it was there and should have put back down on the floor. I've had plenty of opportunities, I'm not blaming anyone else.

[Pepe]

That does not look like a "little thing" to me. Lol, still.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm currently being kept awake by an unseen man, with a very loud voice, somewhere down my road or in an adjoining garden (or coming from a window, but seems too loud for that). He has a London accent and is repeatedly shouting 'Oh, mister! (or 'big stuff', I can't quite tell) interspersed with 'Fucking hello, baby', 'Oh my God', and loud moaning almost in the rhythm of someone shagging, but with only his voice and the phrases so repetitive that it almost sounds like it's on a tape recording.

My road isn't a thoroughfare at all (you'd only come here if you lived here/were visiting) so it really is awfully puzzling. I presume it's some kind of mentally ill person, but why would they be shouting that so repetitively down here?

If it's a bumming in the bushes then the second person is awfully quiet.

[John Arne]

If it's a bumming in the bushes then the second person is awfully quiet.

Or dead....?

[Giggles]

Or not human.

[Spikey M]

Hellllooooooo Dollyyy

[Jimmy Floyd]

He carried on for a good hour. I heard a few slapping noises too that were too loud for it to be wanking. I'll go with homeless man shagging fresh corpse until I hear otherwise.

[phonics]

I finally bit the bullet and got The Athletic and it's not worth it whatsoever. The sports I don't follow closely are mediocre and you can get the same content from the writers Twitter feed and the articles on the stuff I am interested in isn't anything I didn't know having not read the article and just consumed through content aggregators.

[Giggles]

As anyone will know, all those twee slow badly sung versions of songs in adverts are fucking horrendous, but that Born to be Wild in the new Volvo ad takes it to new levels.

[igor_balis]

As anyone will know, all those twee slow badly sung versions of songs in adverts are fucking horrendous, but that Born to be Wild in the new Volvo ad takes it to new levels.

Hahha yeah 100% to all of this. It feels like an industry injoke to create the most egregious example of it at this point. It doesn't even sound like the same song.

[Ian]

I think it was the last World Cup when the BBC did a similarly horrendous job with Thriller but that Volvo one might be the worst so far.

[Dquincy]

I quite liked the Praise You one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I am a sucker for a good acoustic cover, but the breathy piano ones on adverts are a shambles.

[Shindig]

Hearing a slow version of X Gon' Give it to Ya might be the peak.

[phonics]

I wondered why I was going through lightbulbs so much but only in one specific room. I was replacing 2 or 3 bulbs like every couple of weeks.

The tram that runs by my house makes the room vibrate so hard that it’s unscrewing the bulbs a millimetre of a millimetre with each tram. Most of them never blew, just weren’t screwed in...

[Spikey M]

:lol:

[Shindig]

Outstanding. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I love that tram.

[SincereTheRebel]

Sounds like that Swiss favela isnt up to standard

[Ian]

That is superb.

[phonics]

Sounds like that Swiss favela isnt up to standard

Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.

[Giggles]

I’d say you’ve earned about 1 bedroom of it in your lifetime.

[Spikey M]

I was with you upto 'and a front garden'. Are they a rarity there?

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/Wmno2Oo.png

[Pepe]

Wait, you replaced the bulbs instead of checking them / screwing them in? C'mon...

[SincereTheRebel]

Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.

Don't forget about the moat and drawbridge.

[Pepe]

And the sneaker room.

[SincereTheRebel]

and the room where he keeps all those headphones.

[Giggles]

And the basement crack den.

[Spikey M]

Lewis is running the Simpsons based donnings at the moment. :cool:

[Boydy]

Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.

You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://i.gifer.com/QL2u.gif

[SincereTheRebel]

You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?

Sweatshop to make his custom kicks. Iteeeeeeee

[phonics]

I was with you upto 'and a front garden'. Are they a rarity there?

90% of the housing here is apartments.


Wait, you replaced the bulbs instead of checking them / screwing them in? C'mon...

Some of them would visibly blow when I turned the lights on because they were just loose enough to turn on and the power surged. Also some of them would 'go' the same day as my cleaner/maid was in so I figured she saw it and didn't mention.


You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?

It's been sold to be knocked down and turned into apartments. Squatters rights are incredibly strong here so when you sell land to the government to build on the previous landowner gets a stipend to keep rent cheap making sure the buildings not empty. Therefore my rent is about 2/3rds of what I was paying for a 2 bed flat.

[SincereTheRebel]

90% of the housing here is apartments.





Is that Swiss efficiency?

[phonics]

I remember a stat from when I moved here that had Geneva as the most densely populated city in the world outside of Tokyo in a capita per square meter context. So probably, yes

[Lewis]

You have a 9 bedroom house to yourself? Why?

You turned his private mansion into a condemned squat with one question. Have you considered a legal career?

[Spikey M]

You turned his private mansion into a condemned squat with one question. Have you considered a legal career?

:D

[Smjffy]

Public transport. I found myself stuck down a narrow lane on a three hour bus drive to cover just 30 miles therefore missing my connection as neither could get past the other . Attempted to order new ticket and as luck would have it, not enough funds in bank and nearest one to deposit I couldn't find so today I'm stuck in bloody Padstow waiting for 9am tomorrow morning just so I can continue my journey home. Masks for five mins I find uncomfortable but three bloody hours? I'd rather take my chances.

Why did I never learn to drive ffs.

[Manc]

How much this time?

[Smjffy]

Only 24 hours but it's more the point of taking three hours to cover 30 miles. I'm tempted to do train but I just envisage hoards of people.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm on the committee of my cricket club, my colleagues on which are largely people in their 50s and 60s. Often, but particularly now, there is email communication between us - so for example I might send something out saying 'We need to take this tree down' and the others will respond on the same chain with everyone copied in. Pretty normal practice, everyone is able to chip in if they need to or just read for information if not.

All except one bloke, our commercial manager. He's mid sixties, a club hero from the 70s and 80s, and he ABSOLUTELY refuses to send an email, a text, or anything written down. He's a very literate and intelligent man, but he will ONLY communicate by phone call. As a result, when I send out an email on whatever topic, a few hours later he always calls me (at work) to discuss. I'll be sat at my desk at 11am and my phone will light up with this tosser ringing up wanting to discuss the email I've sent out about re-slatting the sightscreens, or whatever the hell it is that week. I never pick up, because I can't just stroll out front at the office and start talking about how the 2nd XI got on last weekend (or maybe people did do that in workplaces in the good old days?). When I don't pick up, he then leaves a voicemail asking me to call him back. It's almost always something he could have put in a 2-line email - something like 'I'm in full agreement with you on that,' or 'Let's wait to see what the supplier says'.

How the fucking hell did that generation survive having to waste half their lives making pointless phone calls? And why can't he send a fucking email like everyone else? It's like it's hard wired into his brain that spoken communication is the only kind, and the idea of quick textual communication would throw his life completely out of kilter.

[Spikey M]

Could you try a WhatsApp group so he can send voice recordings?

[Jimmy Floyd]

No chance he even has whatsapp installed on his phone. I've tried sending him texts before, and he just calls me back again.

[Giggles]

Don't ring him back.

[Ian]

Call him back at ridiculous hours when you're swanning about selling engines to Argentinian farmers or whatever it is you're going to be doing.

[Spikey M]

:D

Yep. Do that.

[John Arne]

Sounds like that Swiss favela isnt up to standard


Yeah my 9 bedroom, 2 kitchen house with a built in home cinema and a front garden in the center of town is a real dumper.

:) touchy.

[phonics]

Late.

[John Arne]

I had to stroll over to the east wing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Here's another: when someone says 'Guess how much this thing costs???!!?!?', talking about a thing that is clearly way more expensive than they thought it would be, and you have to try and pitch your guess reasonably high, but not as high as the truth, so that it doesn't kill their banter.

I just succumbed, guessing £850 when the banter was that something was FIVE HUNDRED! Room instantly dead.

[Baz]

I can’t be doing with people telling me they’ve put their heating on, like it’s a big life-changing event.

Or that they’ve “made the most of the weather and put the washing out.” And?

Probably just because my only interaction with others is on Teams.

[Ian]

Here's another: when someone says 'Guess how much this thing costs???!!?!?', talking about a thing that is clearly way more expensive than they thought it would be, and you have to try and pitch your guess reasonably high, but not as high as the truth, so that it doesn't kill their banter.

I just succumbed, guessing £850 when the banter was that something was FIVE HUNDRED! Room instantly dead.

You just answer these with something that makes it clear how little of a shit you give. Either stupidly high or stupidly low. Doesn't matter which.

[Don]

I can’t be doing with people telling me they’ve put their heating on, like it’s a big life-changing event.

Or that they’ve “made the most of the weather and put the washing out.” And?

Probably just because my only interaction with others is on Teams.

These are crucial stock Lines To Take when having to make conversation. If you're getting it from your best mate you should probably be worried but don't you dare underplay their value when we've got 2 minutes to kill on Teams before everyone joins the call.

[Baz]

That’s the thing though. I’m offended people feel the need to use those lines on me, no matter who it is.

[Don]

I'm afraid that is just a byproduct of being a narcissist and I feel your pain but it's up to us to not let it get to us.

[Ian]

Offended. :D

[Giggles]

He just hasn’t found the opportunity to fiddle them out of any cash yet.

[P_3]

Be the one to join in late. Avoid the small talk, look cool arriving late. Win, win.

[Baz]

It tends to happen more at the end of meetings, so I usually leave fast. I’m not one for messing around so I like to arrive on the hour and get straight to business.

[Spikey M]

When 2 kids are ill at the same time there is always someone on hand to trot out 'oh, there must be something going around'. Well yes, there's fucking thousands of things going around.

[Baz]

When people caption their photos and use the term “this one” to mean another person.

”fab few days away with this one.”

You mean Darren, Kayley. His name is Darren.

[Offshore Toon]

That sounds like the type of thing you'd do if you were a girl. Do you still point at people in photos?

[Baz]

Nah.

[mo]

"This one" is up there with "the boy".

[Spikey M]

I've never seen 'the boy' other than dad's talking about their sons. Or is that what you mean?

[mo]

Nah basic bitches do it about their boyfriends. Dad's talking about sons "the boy" is fine.

[Spikey M]

I've never seen that, but then Essex girls have enough ridiculous slang of their own so it's probably just fallen off in favour "salty potato" or something equally stupid.

[Queenslander]

There are Victorians fucking everwhere in my street tonight as it is the Gabba traffic boundary for rideshare.

Time to start a posse! :mad:

EDIT: Knicked off to the pub and it is all Victorians.

[Disco]

When you say Victorians...

https://i.imgur.com/32GQsNI.png

[Queenslander]

:D

The worst kind of Victorian


https://i.ibb.co/Lgn8HWH/CRz-EW3-KUk-AE4-Txw.jpg (https://ibb.co/Lgn8HWH)

https://i.ibb.co/J58GjH9/6283391cfeec9dd06f0ba3f60b96d177-western-bulldogs-sports-pics.jpg (https://ibb.co/J58GjH9)

AFL is easily the most entertaining sport in Australia Ill give them that...

[Spikey M]

People than answer questions you didn't ask.

We're due to go to CentreParcs in a months time and with all the talk of Circuit Breaking it brings some doubt to the situation, so my Mrs messaged her manager asking 'if there's a short lockdown when I'm meant to be going away, is there any availability to move my annual leave back a week?'

"We don't know if there's going to be a lockdown"

Yeah mate, she didn't think she was texting BoJo.

[Manc]

Control your woman.

[phonics]

I got sick of the one 'Vegan Tiramisu' ad on Twitter it would show me over and over again so I blocked the account and Twitter is punishing me by showing me awful 'viral' content accounts instead.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/270326079648956433/767496190576033832/unknown.png

[Lewis]

Maybe Twitter just isn't for you.

[phonics]

My work laptops webcam is awful and only picks up blues well. Whole image is black and white apart from my eyes. I look like Gollum with a toupee (no change their then!)

[Dark Soldier]

Just semi-flooded the kitchen by forgetting to put the washer's hose in the toilet to drain.

Go me. Missus is gonna go mental

[randomlegend]

My brother flooded the downstairs of my dad's house by leaving the bath running then tried to hoover the water up with the dyson.

[Dark Soldier]

Haha at least im not at that level

[Disco]

Just semi-flooded the kitchen by forgetting to put the washer's hose in the toilet to drain.

Go me. Missus is gonna go mental

There's a toilet in your kitchen?

[Giggles]

Would be seriously handy.

[randomlegend]

There's a toilet in your kitchen?

We have a toilet coming off the kitchen. It's an odd architectural choice IMO.

[Spikey M]

Just semi-flooded the kitchen by forgetting to put the washer's hose in the toilet to drain.

Go me. Missus is gonna go mental

We're gonna need some more details here. What is this set up exactly?

[phonics]

I hate all these journalists saying ‘I sat down with Player X where he said...’ and then every journalist has the exact same quotes. Lads, you went to a press conference.

[Dark Soldier]

We're gonna need some more details here. What is this set up exactly?

As RL says, its one of those stupid design choices.

The place was originally gonna be two apartments but they sold it as a complete house, and means we have a large side room off the kitchen with a toilet, plus the washer and dryer.

[Panda Bear]

i fucking wish haxball were still a thing

i miss those dumb times with cord and welby at the core

[Giggles]

Cord? It’s not 2004.

[Panda Bear]

also what's up with people writ large having no sense of nuance

i see it all the time in these realms:
1) design, where people do these dumb superficial projects like "this app makes an ALARM BELL sound every time a BOMB goes off in yemen" and you're all like "yeah okay" and it's one note

and

2) politics, where blah blha blah who cares am i right

[Panda Bear]

i miss playing haxball with giggles

[Ian]

i fucking wish haxball were still a thing

i miss those dumb times with cord and welby at the core

:cool:

[Giggles]

i miss playing haxball with giggles

Giggles? It’s not an alternate universe.

[Panda Bear]

so many good times scoring against giggles

[Cord]

Cord? It’s not 2004.

Well, I feel old now.

[Spikey M]

Slow meme day on WhatsApp.

[Giggles]

Well, I feel old now.

Apologies.

Also, what was Panda smoking last night?

[Spammer]

Absolutely fucking sick of my job right now. I love the job itself but I have very few other colleagues who do the same job as me and the one I work most closely with can be incredibly fucking difficult to work with.

I've suggested a certain way of doing things which makes a massive amount of sense but she's against it, I think, because if I do it like that it'll make her look bad because she doesn't want to do it like that. Well....fuck off. I'm going to email the management and make it clear to them how I want to do things, and they'll agree that my way is a good idea and I'll get to do things in a way that helps people the most.

If they don't see it then they can fuck off too. Or I'll just email their manager until finally I meet someone at this shitshow of an organisation who knows what they're fucking doing. We're putting people's lives at risk needlessly, doing things the way we're doing them. Basically I want to do things online with the people who want to do them online, as I've had a number of people contact me saying they're uncomfortable attending anything physically as they've got health problems or their family members do. Well, that's fine by me - I'll just do things online. Or I'll do things online with the people who want it done online (at no significant loss to what's being offered) and do things in person with the people who are happy to have things done in person.

Jesus Christ. Never worked somewhere which is so badly managed. An absolute shower of shite. Job itself, working with the people I work with as part of the job - love it. Every single dealing with the management is a fucking shambles though. Nobody knows what they're doing, everyone wants to pass it on to someone else and deflect responsibility. I don't even know which manager to email about this - I have 3 names and I don't know who would be responsible, so I guess i'll just email all of them.

Fuck sake. I'm thinking of sacking it off and going back to my doss job I did a few years back. The one that was ok, not great, but which caused me very little stress and which I could forget about afterwards. Pay wasn't great but I could get by. We live in a cheap house and the missus gets paid well so I could do.

Might use this place to vent every now and then.

[Don]

Jobs thread, surely? Also, there's a reason why the other job is lesser pay and why you probably won't go back out of choice.

[Spammer]

Thought that but it was basically a rant, so stuck it in here.

Hmm I dunno, maybe. It's definitely on my mind though.

[Don]

Get the bank whilst you're young and have the capacity for the bullshit, the early semi-retirement back to shelf stacking is the dream :drool:

[Spammer]

I am on a lovely pension here too :drool:

I forgot about that. Yeah, fuck the old place.

[Raoul Duke]

Mass emailing management is a bad look - I'd recommend spending a bit more time finding out who can actually help/is responsible and having a conversation with them directly. Email loses nuance and is open to misinterpretation.

[Giggles]

Email is a documented trail though, rather than "no you never said that".

[Shindig]

I still think going straight to management is jumping the chain of command.

[Spammer]

No it isn't. I'll be emailing the people directly above me in the first instance.

[Spikey M]

Could you not split the workload so that she can work with people thatvare happy with the old way and you can pick up people that would benefit from doing it your way?

[Baz]

Tell her to fuck off and do it the best way.

Sick to death of prehistoric processes and old school ways of working.

[Lewis]

What is the job?

[Spammer]

It's in mental health/counselling.

It's KICKED OFF though now. Kicked off at work yesterday and today I've emailed people further up explaining a bunch of stuff which I've kept quiet about which will put her in trouble. Bit hard to do something like that when this one person is about the only person I actually have contact with directly. Gonna be an awkward week or two.

This wasn't just out of the blue though. The argument yesterday became toxic and she suggested that I am lazy (I'm not, I work hard) and that the job is easy (It's not, it's very demanding). I did overtime last year for 3 months to cover absence and was told these things back then when I approached her for support because i was burning out.

Her being the only person I speak to directly made it hard to report about it at the time, and also the shit place I was in mentally. But that's what I've reported about today, as well as the impact it had on me last year (struggled a lot with my mental health as a result, as I felt shame about struggling - because it's 'easy' - on top of struggling itself. Fucked me up entirely for a week or two and I went to see my counsellor as I was having intrusive thoughts about scary things).

The person I replaced had a meltdown halfway through the day and walked out without being seen again. This colleague decided she was 'nuts'/'crazy' etc. I've made it clear in this email that I can understand why someone would do that after dealing with her. She's got form, basically.

It's a mental health related role too, which adds a whole other layer of irony and confusion at this attitude from her. It made it harder to acknowledge how wildly inappropriate her attitude was, because she's quite well established in an established mental health role.

Hope she gets sacked to be honest but not getting my hopes up.

I think the management further up are alright - I've just felt isolated from them. I have a chat with two managers at 1pm tomorrow.

Edit: I'll post future posts in the jobs thread

[Luca]

Is Spammer Hammer?

[Shindig]

Yes. He went on a spamming spree, changed his name and got banned.

[Disco]

I liked Gavel better.

[Lewis]

It's reassuring to know what a well-adjusted bunch the counsellors themselves are.

[Don]

I was going to say. Giggles is fucking lolling all over the gaff at that amd you know what? I fucking back him.

[Giggles]

I’m doing what now?

[Shindig]

It's reassuring to know what a well-adjusted bunch the counsellors themselves are.

It reads bit, "I have mental health. I can make a difference!" except it leads to stuff like Hammer's office bickering.

[Spikey M]

I’m doing what now?

Laughing at Mental Health workers appearing to be the biggest Mental Health cases going.

[Giggles]

It’s just an industry now. Once you know how to peddle it you can be as mad as you like.

[Spammer]

It's not even a protected profession. Any of you lot can decide you're a 'psychotherapist' and get out there having a go at it if you want to.

Put out some flyers lads.

Edit: Not in the UK anyway. In the USA it is.

[Shindig]

I get what I need where I'm at. Nothing can prepare you for a form that just says, "FEAR!" under the disabilities and conditions section.

[Baz]

I get paid £8 extra a month for being a mental health first aider. :baz:

[Giggles]

Mental health first aider, fucking hell. You can bet that didn’t exist until very recently.

“Oh, you hate work?” Mental health.

[Lewis]

I've never understood that one. We had a mental health briefing at work once that was basically beat the stigma around mental health... By confiding in the people you spend every day with and can milk workplace disagreements into weeks worth of gossip. Really?

[Spammer]

Yeah it depends on the environment. At workplaces it's daft. I do group therapy and it works really well sometimes - but people don't know each other outside of that context and it all stays in the room unless someone literally tells us they're going to off themselves that evening. Or if they're going to kill somoene else or terrorism or summat. Other than in pretty extreme cases, people can say whatever the fuck they want and it doesn't leave the room. Doing anything like that in a workplace is just daft.

[Spammer]

It's reassuring to know what a well-adjusted bunch the counsellors themselves are.

Mixed bag. Some are, but some start training because they think they'll have no mental health issues if they're a counsellor. Or they think that they'll be a good counsellor because they've had loads of counselling every week for 20 years and so know it works 'from the other side'. Or they like the power.

Honestly a decent amount are sound but you get some right weirdos...(...that's an open net for someone to tap home...)

[Baz]

Someone on a Teams meeting just said “a great resource for e-books and e-podcasts.”

E-podcasts? :moop:

[Spikey M]

:D

[Disco]

You don't print out a transcript and read it over breakfast?

[Raoul Duke]

Radio was the OG podcast

[Queenslander]

Only in Australia could a person get finance on a carton of beer.

https://i.ibb.co/fDfq50c/Screenshot-20201115-104445-Facebook.jpg (https://ibb.co/XY1jgJw)

[Shindig]

Unprecedented times, etc.

[Queenslander]

Next week people will able to finance a night on the Pokies.

[John Arne]

Next week people will able to finance a night on the Pokies.

My boss was showing me some gaffs he was looking at retiring into in the Sydney area. The price variation is proper lol... a 48m2 box in the most crowded part of the city.... $3,100,000.... Or 20 acres of grounds, lush scenery and a massive mansion in the Blue Mountain region... $700,000. It's the same in every city, but it's still lol.

[Queenslander]

Stuff moving to inner city Sydney.

Blue Mountains have a habit of catching on fire unfortunetly.

Northern Rivers Region (Byron Bay) is where all the wealthy Sydney folk are moving too.

[niko_cee]

There was a 4 Pines bar in Manly way back when and they did some good stuff, particularly the kolsch iirc.

Northern Beaches are the only bit of Sydney worth considering, and house prices there are [probably] insane.

[Luca]

Those houses on Bower St. and Montpellier Place in Manly are where it’s at. :drool:

[SvN]

My boss was showing me some gaffs he was looking at retiring into in the Sydney area. The price variation is proper lol... a 48m2 box in the most crowded part of the city.... $3,100,000.... Or 20 acres of grounds, lush scenery and a massive mansion in the Blue Mountain region... $700,000. It's the same in every city, but it's still lol.

My sister lives in the centre of Melbourne, and the 2 bedroom house she rents is worth $1.6million. I drove 20 minutes away to play golf, and a nearby 4 bedroom detatched house with a swimming pool was $300,000.

It's mental.

[Shindig]

The swimming pool is full of spiders.

[Spikey M]

My sister lives in the centre of Melbourne, and the 2 bedroom house she rents is worth $1.6million. I drove 20 minutes away to play golf, and a nearby 4 bedroom detatched house with a swimming pool was $300,000.

It's mental.

It's the same here though. A shoebox in Peckham costs alot more than a 4 bed pretty much anywhere outside the M25.

It's all owned by China and Russia.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A sour thought perhaps, but 'at this *adjective* time' in RIP messages should also be sent to the grave.

[niko_cee]

Those houses on Bower St. and Montpellier Place in Manly are where it’s at. :drool:

Yeah, if you want to be in hock to the Catholic Church for the rest of your existence.

Weirdly I think I still have some of the Montpellier Place promotional material lying around somewhere.

[igor_balis]

Collective animal nouns. The flowery pointlessness of English langauge part of its charm, ish, but murder of crows, parliament of owls etc etc. Just fuck off. Twee bullshit for the kind of divs who still watch and enjoy QI.

[Spikey M]

Oh look, a dickhead of Igors.

[igor_balis]

Stop bullying me :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Collective animal nouns. The flowery pointlessness of English langauge part of its charm, ish, but murder of crows, parliament of owls etc etc. Just fuck off. Twee bullshit for the kind of divs who still watch and enjoy QI.

Checking in.

[Lewis]

Oh look, a dickhead of Igors.

a spunktrumpet of igors.

[Shindig]

A shoebox of Mahows.

[igor_balis]

God my mates are such a bunch of nosebleeders. We have a little weekly ALBUM CLUB, where we take turns picking albums and have a weekly discussion on skype.

I told my other mate about it, and he was interested in joining in. Sure, this week my mate picked VAN HALEN - VAN HALEN, discussion is at 8pm. I told my other mates, and they've all lost their shit. All of them are saying how "awkward" it would be, and how they're uncomfortable doing something so nerdy with an outsider. It ain't like we're sitting around reviewing pokemon episodes ffs. Like, I do feel a bit sympathetic as someone who has suffered with social anxiety in the past but...fucking hell... isn't the outsider the one who is meant to feel awkward in those situations?

[Baz]

Sounds like your mate, the outsider, is the <random insult> in this one. I mean what kind of socially inept buffoon will happy infiltrate a club of people he doesn't know, where they'll be forced to spend a week listening to whatever he suggests and then have to converse with him over awkward-at-the-best-of-times webcam chat? His trolling game could do with improvement, cos it's not a terrible album and obviously he got caught up in the Eddie Van Halen twitter tributes, but why the fuck does he have to stick his oar in? Can't believe you let him join too. Let down.

Your other mates will be making a breakaway group if you're not careful.

[igor_balis]

van halen - van halen was the pick by an existing member, chief. newbie wouldn't get a pick for about 4 weeks.

[Raoul Duke]

God my mates are such a bunch of nosebleeders. We have a little weekly ALBUM CLUB, where we take turns picking albums and have a weekly discussion on skype.

I told my other mate about it, and he was interested in joining in. Sure, this week my mate picked VAN HALEN - VAN HALEN, discussion is at 8pm. I told my other mates, and they've all lost their shit. All of them are saying how "awkward" it would be, and how they're uncomfortable doing something so nerdy with an outsider. It ain't like we're sitting around reviewing pokemon episodes ffs. Like, I do feel a bit sympathetic as someone who has suffered with social anxiety in the past but...fucking hell... isn't the outsider the one who is meant to feel awkward in those situations?

Yeah. Everyone knows that's Wednesdays. By the way, I can't make this week.

[Lewis]

Sounds like your mate, the outsider, is the <random insult> in this one. I mean what kind of socially inept buffoon will happy infiltrate a club of people he doesn't know, where they'll be forced to spend a week listening to whatever he suggests and then have to converse with him over awkward-at-the-best-of-times webcam chat? His trolling game could do with improvement, cos it's not a terrible album and obviously he got caught up in the Eddie Van Halen twitter tributes, but why the fuck does he have to stick his oar in? Can't believe you let him join too. Let down.

Your other mates will be making a breakaway group if you're not careful.

'This'. lol at mixing your friendship groups. Get them all on here mate while you're at it.

[igor_balis]

'This'. lol at mixing your friendship groups. Get them all on here mate while you're at it.

like a muslim telling a barman how to make cocktails

[Spoonsky]

like a muslim telling a barman how to make cocktails

:D

If these are the same friends who tolerated me and mokbull joining in on quiplash back in the summer I don't see what their problem would be. (Or maybe we scarred them so badly they don't want to repeat the occasion.)

[Spikey M]

God my mates are such a bunch of nosebleeders. We have a little weekly ALBUM CLUB, where we take turns picking albums and have a weekly discussion on skype.

I told my other mate about it, and he was interested in joining in. Sure, this week my mate picked VAN HALEN - VAN HALEN, discussion is at 8pm. I told my other mates, and they've all lost their shit. All of them are saying how "awkward" it would be, and how they're uncomfortable doing something so nerdy with an outsider. It ain't like we're sitting around reviewing pokemon episodes ffs. Like, I do feel a bit sympathetic as someone who has suffered with social anxiety in the past but...fucking hell... isn't the outsider the one who is meant to feel awkward in those situations?

You might as well have just told us about your love of noncing. Your mates are right to feel embarrassed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't even know who it's for, but the ubiquitous advert with carol singers going 'Twen-TY Twen-TY' and then making a load of references to zoom calls etc can get to absolute FUCK.

[Spikey M]

One of the perks of everything being online is that I very rarely see adverts these days. The rare days where I have to use *spits* the ITV Player and *retches* 4OD are dark days indeed.

[Boydy]

It's called All4 and I don't see what's wrong with it? I think I saw someone else slagging it off recently. It's not that bad.

[Manc]

It's the place to go for European efforts.

[Spikey M]

It's called All4 and I don't see what's wrong with it? I think I saw someone else slagging it off recently. It's not that bad.

There's 3 times the amount of adverts there are on normal TV. Including a load 2 minutes before the end of the programme.

[Boydy]

No there aren't. The ad breaks are far shorter.

[Spikey M]

Sort this twat out, Ian.

[Offshore Toon]

I've been rewatching The Shield on All4 and the adverts aren't that bad.

[Spikey M]

2 more for the wolf list tomorrow, it seems.

[Lewis]

The problem with the Channel 4 one is that it forces you to watch the adverts.

[Offshore Toon]

It's more wolfy to be annoyed by adverts as you have less free time when you're MURDERING by night. :huhu:

[igor_balis]

No there aren't. The ad breaks are far shorter.

Check out this dunce.

[Spikey M]

And it counts them. It's like it's laghing at you.

"Advert 1 of 8. It's a 40 second one as well mate. I might even fail to load the next one. Will I come back? Will you have to restart me? Buckle up, m8."

[Baz]

Should’ve just recorded it when it was on telly.

[Boydy]

1 of 8? I swear I only ever get about 3.

[Ian]

There's nothing I want to watch badly enough that it's worth putting up with All4.

Though The Shield would come close, to be fair.

[mo]

Watching The West Wing on All4 and it's pretty irritating to begin with when you're used to fast forwarding or paid streaming options, but now I just mute the ads and look at my phone instead.

[Giggles]

Cunts tried to rob the van again last night. Left a right mess this time.

[SvN]

Bought a new member of staff a Dell XPS 13 in October for around £1,200. It's a brilliant little laptop, and I wanted to get my wife one for christmas. The problem is I can't get anywhere near the same spec for under £1,600 now. Plus I'll have to pay the VAT.

How has the price gone up by a third in less than 2 months? Total cunts

[Raoul Duke]

Constrained supply chain as all the Chinese 11-year olds are making Playstations

[igor_balis]

Fuck I've got an eye strain headache just imagining using a 13 inch laptop.

[Giggles]

I’d love a 13” one. Mine is a pig to lug around.

[Boydy]

Fuck I've got an eye strain headache just imagining using a 13 inch laptop.

Plug in a monitor, dingus.

[Danny]

I would assume its docked for working in a office/desk setting.

I have a 15" but no way would I be able to work on it full time. I have three 27" monitors and if I ever travel I have a slimline monitor that plugs in via USB-C. Was a life saver on my last India trip.

[Spikey M]

Plug in a monitor, dingus.

Then why get a laptop?

[Boydy]

So you can take it between the office and home.

[Lewis]

Seems like we've walked into a nerd convention Idiotmouse lad.

[SvN]

She's currently working off an iPad with a keyboard, so the size won't be an issue. The IT department at her school have decided that staff don't need laptops, and iPads are the future. Despite them not being capable running the software the department insists on them using.

[Disco]

Posting this here because it's near the top of the page.

1338628170694750214

Todger? Is there a country with shitter names than America?

[Spikey M]

The surname being a mashup of Stunk and Shrunk doesn't much help.

[phonics]

1339217293818163202

[Disco]

His surname could be Willybumtittyfart and you'd barely notice.

[Giggles]

1339217293818163202

This might hopefully tempt John back.

[Boydy]

Been waiting all day on a courier who was meant to be here between 9 and 5 and who still hasn't fucking shown. Better just be running late and not have fucked me off.

[Manc]

I've had an order refunded today as it was never actually in stock. Superb.

[Disco]

I used an Amazon locker for the first time this week, great stuff seeing as delivering to my place is a pain and stuff sent to work is a lottery. Should have used one of those.

[Boydy]

The courier is picking something up rather than delivering something as I didn't want to go stand in a queue at the post office with a load of idiots who can't even wear a mask properly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I ordered a present for a nephew.

They sent me an email saying it's on it's way (but the tracking info doesn't work), on the order page it says it's still being processed and they have a live chat bot that tells me the order has been fulfilled...

They answered an email (about a week after I sent it) saying that it has been posted and are blaming Royal Mail.

[Manc]

Get on the phone and don't mug yourself off.

[Boydy]

Apparently they tried to collect my parcel today but I "wasn't available". I've fucking been in all day.

[Giggles]

Apparently they tried to collect my parcel today but I "wasn't available". I've fucking been in all day.

Sounds standard for this time of year.

[Boydy]

Gonna have to go to the post office now and those courier cunts are taking more than half the fee if I cancel. Disgraceful.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"We couldn't be fucked going down your street".

[Lewis]

Serves you right. Up the workers.

[Don]

I haven't ordered anything so have saved myself the grief of rampant consumerism as well as safely knowing I haven't funded lizardry :huhu:

[Baz]

Sold something on eBay to some nerd in America and need to attach some customs forms to the outside of the box in one of those clear DOCUMENTS INSIDE thingies so ordered some of them last Tuesday and still not turned up. Rang Zoro, where I ordered them from, on Friday who said they would definitely be with me on Monday at the latest. They are not.

Tempted to just fashion one out of a plastic bag or something just to get this massive box out of the way.

And eBay have charged me £17 for the pleasure; plus after quoting me £22 for shipping before I made the listing, so I charged £25, and now they've forced me to pay UPS £39. :moop: Somehow still in profit but it’s a right ballache so I think I’ll just sell privately on Discord in future.

[Baz]

Then just went to a shop that sends UPS parcels “oh no no not to America no no” ffs so drove to another one and first thing he does it tear it open after I spent ages taping it. :mad: It’s gone though, phew!

[igor_balis]

Yes yes body positivity and you shouldn't bully fat people but imo this kinda shit is totally unhealthy and dangerous and needs to fuck off.


https://i.ibb.co/mHwWKGv/20201228-171111.jpg (https://ibb.co/BgxMJt4)
Short of getting an eating disorder, I'm afraid it is inherently healthy to lose weight if you look like that.

[Giggles]

Some DJ bint here tore Adele asunder earlier in the year for losing weight too. There’s absolutely no way anyone should be allowed to get away with portraying being heavy as healthy.

[igor_balis]

Like i smoke 15 a day, drink far too much and waver between abstinence and problematic use of other stuff but i just take the L which is my fear of an early painful death and suggest people perhaps not do what i do. Plus a little bit of cognitive dissonance to get me through the day.

Maybe i SHOULD do a social media campaign of cutesy cartoon photos of me smoking rollies, necking cheap red wine and chopping out fat lines of talcum powder and rat poison and accusing everyone else of being h8rs.

[Spikey M]

Some DJ bint here tore Adele asunder earlier in the year for losing weight too. There’s absolutely no way anyone should be allowed to get away with portraying being heavy as healthy.

Some fat twat at my work did that.

"Does she know how unhealthy 1000 calories a day is!?"

Wildly less unhealthy than being obese and the NHS recommend it to people in pre-diabetes.

"The NHS are rubbish, 3 months my mum has been waiting for..."

You think you know more about health than the National Health Service?

"No, I didn't say that but..."

[Don]

Like i smoke 15 a day, drink far too much and waver between abstinence and problematic use of other stuff but i just take the L which is my fear of an early painful death and suggest people perhaps not do what i do. Plus a little bit of cognitive dissonance to get me through the day.

Maybe i SHOULD do a social media campaign of cutesy cartoon photos of me smoking rollies, necking cheap red wine and chopping out fat lines of talcum powder and rat poison and accusing everyone else of being h8rs.

This would garner major views, support and a healthy income through merch. Get on it, pronto. The days of these lesbians are numbered with COVID and climate change kinda shitting on their basic arguments.

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/UDxMELm.jpg

Got you fam.

[igor_balis]

That's far too flattering:D

[Don]

Has the cunt drawn that? It's too apt to have just been stumbled across :D

[Foe]

Came back to the flat after a couple of weeks at the parents as I left my work stuff here.

Turned the sky on and as soon as I’ve attempted to change the Channel I’m met with a “no signal” annoyance. Thing seems completely fucked too, so I’ll have to have a good muck about with the cables and just hope it’s not a fucked dish.

Thankfully I only use it for sport and have realised I can get it live via the app on PS4, just is an arse for recording stuff until I can get it fixed.

:(

[bruhnaldo]

Has the cunt drawn that? It's too apt to have just been stumbled across :D

You’re joking

[Don]

What is it, a famous cartoon?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even if you're not familiar with the cartoon you can see where he's cut lines of text out ffs.

[Pepe]

The suddenly popular use of "in a minute."

[Don]

Even if you're not familiar with the cartoon you can see where he's cut lines of text out ffs.

Fucking hell, so you're telling me Lewis didn't get his graphic tablet out? Christ, stay out of my way, you maggot.

[Spikey M]

The suddenly popular use of "in a minute."

That's been a common British phrase since before Jesus rocked up.

[Giggles]

Now in a minute.

[Spikey M]

That's just the Welsh mob I think.

[Ian]

Are we just talking "in a minute" as in, "I'll do that in a minute", etc. or are Murica using it in some other way?

[SvN]

I've got a Welsh friend who says "I be back now". Grates on me so much.

[Spikey M]

Are we just talking "in a minute" as in, "I'll do that in a minute", etc. or are Murica using it in some other way?

Thinking about it, I've seen a few tweets recently along the lines of "I haven't seen that in a minute!", meaning 'in a long time', which is indeed irritating, so I assume he means that.

[Ian]

Ah, yeah. I've heard that like, "It's been a minute" instead of it's been a while. I think Tony Iron Man says it in one of those superhero films you love so much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If the Americans are really doing that then my stance on armed private militias prowling the streets may well have to change.

[Spikey M]

It used to be "in a hot minute" so they've atleast made it a bit less painful.

[Pepe]

Thinking about it, I've seen a few tweets recently along the lines of "I haven't seen that in a minute!", meaning 'in a long time', which is indeed irritating, so I assume he means that.

Yes, that is what I am talking about.

[SincereTheRebel]

People telling me, things they think I will like.

[niko_cee]

Hard-wired light fittings that don't allow for a bulb to be changed when the cunts stop working. What is the fucking point of these things other than as some sort of electricians' racket?

[Boydy]

Hard-wired light fittings that don't allow for a bulb to be changed when the cunts stop working. What is the fucking point of these things other than as some sort of electricians' racket?

Had this exact same problem last week. Didn't even know they were a thing before that. The landlord had to get an electrician out to replace the whole thing. At least the new one has replaceable bulbs.

[Giggles]

Never heard of such a thing before. So the bulb and fitting are one part?

[Boydy]

In my case the bulbs were LEDs that seemed to be directly soldered into the fitting.

[Spikey M]

I've also never heard of that, with the exception of Christmas Tree lights. Mental.

[igor_balis]

it always amazes me how we as a #society have just allowed creeping planned obsolescence and rackets like that

tangentially related, my mum bought a new front door and to get replacement keys you have to go through the manufacturers and they cost £15 each :lol:

at least there aren't dozens of proprietary mobile phone chargers these days

[Jimmy Floyd]

In my place (which is a new build) the main room lights I think are like that, but I've been assured that the light bulbs have 20 years of life. I guess we'll find out.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive bought three pencil rubbers this weekend, and they all rub out filthy.

[niko_cee]

Never heard of such a thing before. So the bulb and fitting are one part?

Yeah. I don't think it's that uncommon, although the more modern version of this thing has it such that the bulb unit unplugs from the housing/mains. Apparently they last 13 years on average. These have never worked I don't think since I moved in and I doubt they were 13 years old when I did.

[Boydy]

Netflix's "descriptions" for programmes. Stop trying to make it sound mysterious and intriguing and just give me an idea of what the show is actually about.

It might be worse on the tv app than the website, I'm not sure.


Got myself so worked up, I posted this in the wrong thread before.

[Spikey M]

Netflix and Chips.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Netflix's "descriptions" for programmes. Stop trying to make it sound mysterious and intriguing and just give me an idea of what the show is actually about.

It might be worse on the tv app than the website, I'm not sure.

I hate them too... every time I scroll past the UK Office and it refers to David Brent as a 'jackass'. Shut the fuck up.

[Baz]

People renaming their folders on a shared drive so they're at the top.

https://i.imgur.com/9f37Bxa.png

[Spammer]

My employers' shambolic level of organisation will be a recurring theme for as long as I work there, I think.

Basic shit is made complicated for no reason. It's very silly. I don't think I'm missing anything but I can see an easy way of doing things, but the resentment that expressing that will breed just won't be worth it. There's also a chance that I have missed something that makes it the way it is (it's above my paygrade so I just get an impression of it from the outside) so probably best keeping quiet.

It's just annoying.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I just got loads of weird fake emails. Here are the best:

https://i.imgur.com/XQEjhWV.png

https://i.imgur.com/Ka71bsD.png

https://i.imgur.com/ugOIYeQ.png

https://i.imgur.com/4PRGVvo.png

[Baz]

Think how overwhelmingly sad it would be if those were genuine.

[Disco]

People trying to give Mahow money over the internet is the turnaround nobody expected from 2021.

[Shindig]

I wish my spam was that interesting. Your sold information must've lived a charmed life. I guess that's to be expected when you sign up for camgirls.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's probably all because of the exquisite jackets I've bought throughout my life.

[Pepe]

'how and Anderson, sitting on a tree...

[Giggles]

Recipes online. Fuck off with your cunting little story and history, just tell me what the fuck goes in it and when.