The little things in life that fuck you off

[Gray Fox]

There were also many announcements at Picadilly that the 10:37 train going into North Wales was cancelled and that there was a rail replacement bus service. Only thing is the bus service was leaving at 10:01. So fuck all of those people who don't arrive 45 mins early for their train journey I guess.

[Don]

That all sounds like normal service. It's third-world stuff and a state of affairs I used to think was due to budgetary contrainsts but they've recently replaced the Euston departure boards (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/28/Euston_railway_station_departures_board_-_DSC06905bearbeitet.jpg) with these (https://www.ianvisits.co.uk/articles/euston-station-testing-new-departure-display-boards-58759/) which are a joke in terms of how shit they are so I think it's all just a ploy to accelerate the adoption of the metaverse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If you type 'labour shortage' into twitter search, it's interesting what comes up. Canada, Australia, UK, Ireland, Germany, Finland, Greece all come up within the first batch of items, and it's the same story everywhere: labour shortage across all sectors.

I don't think a lot of people have woken up to this or adjusted their vision. The old days of massive amounts of cheap labour everywhere are just not coming back, but we have CEOs and MDs in their 50s who have never known any other world and can't get to grips with it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Came into the kitchen this morning to find the window broken from the outside (luckily only the outer half of the double glazing, so no glass indoors). I began investigations into how this could have happened. Intrusion attempt is impossible since, as Surrey Police found out last year, you can't access the balcony from below, no matter how hard you try. I live next to a park so I thought maybe projectile... but it's such an unlikely angle for that, as you'd have to clear an outer wall and then throw a narrow gap across my balcony to strike at the required location.

I went out onto the balcony, creeping across the frozen cobwebs, and found the crimous object - an empty bottle of rosé pro secco, almost in perfect halves.

This might be the most Surrey crime in all of history.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That nosey bitch neighbour checking to make sure you're not dead again.

[Shindig]

That door's not surviving the South America trip.

[Lewis]

I was on hold for 56 minutes booking a plumber, the guy says the appointment is booked, then asks me some feedback questions on my tremendous experience, and I come off the phone to a message saying I never answered their call to confirm and it has been cancelled. That's a new one.

[Pepe]

Should have left a 5 star review mate.

[Boydy]

People trying to sell you services/get you to pay them for some sort of odd job by just knocking on your door. Does that ever work? I'm just automatically suspicious of them.

Had someone today knock on the door and ask if I want my gutters cleared out. He had someone else with him with a ladder tbf. But no, I don't, if I need my gutters cleaned out, I'll ring someone and get them to come do it, not just pay some dickhead who knocks on my door. A few weeks ago I had someone (of the traveller community) knock and ask if I wanted my windowsills painted because he was doing some of the neighbours' and had paint left over.

[Don]

Clearly scoping the gaff out.

[Spikey M]

I've only had this happen once in my life and it was a traveller. I suppose it's understandably more common over there.

[SvN]

I had that recently with a guy wanting to powerwash my drive. He was absolutely adamant that he was going to give me a "free sample" on a section of the drive and I had to almost shout at him that I wasn't interested. Presumably part of their dodgy sales pitch is to leave a clean section so the rest of the area looks ridiculous in comparison.

[randomlegend]

I mean...it's probably just people struggling to make ends meet and trying to be entrepreneurial, no?

I probably wouldn't go for it either but don't think there's a need to automatically be suspicious/hostile.

[niko_cee]

Suspicious and hostile is the default British position when it comes to people you don't know.

Something that has been pissing me off of late is the McDonald's app. At first it was all great, but now it seems to have descended into utter, aggravating unusability. Makes you put together a whole order before then telling you parts of the order, which you have been through and specifically selected, are unavailable, and not allowing you to edit such orders, only bin them and start again, without ever telling you which bit it is that was fucking everything up. Ends up being a random 'is it this?' lottery. Why can't they not offer you the unavailable bits [sometimes the case]? Think it was just totally fucked yesterday though as I ended up going in and placing the order on one of their screen things in exactly the same form as had been refused and it worked fine. Not loving it.

[Boydy]

I mean...it's probably just people struggling to make ends meet and trying to be entrepreneurial, no?

I probably wouldn't go for it either but don't think there's a need to automatically be suspicious/hostile.

I probably should have said I'm normally unjustly suspicious. I know it probably is just what you said. I doubt it works very well as a business model though. Like Niko says, I imagine most people have the same reaction.

Also, I'd like to be clear that I'm not hostile. I just say no thanks. I actually asked thr guy who offered to paint the windowsills if he had a phone number I could contact him on and maybe I'd get it done in the new year but he was a bit cagey about that and said something like "oh, i just come round the area once a year and it's just that I have paint left over from the other jobs". The guy today said he was once a year as well, come to think of it. Although I didn't see him last year but he did say "oh, you're new" but I've been in this house since August last year. Fuck knows.

[SvN]

The whole "I've been doing jobs with your nighbours" is a bright red flag that they're conmen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Anyone coming to you for business is almost certainly a con man. That applies on the phone, via email, or in person.

[Giggles]

I mean...it's probably just people struggling to make ends meet and trying to be entrepreneurial, no?

I probably wouldn't go for it either but don't think there's a need to automatically be suspicious/hostile.

No it’s almost exclusively knackers.

[Boydy]

Anyone coming to you for business is almost certainly a con man. That applies on the phone, via email, or in person.
Linkedin too. Had a recruiter contact me earlier about a job. Needed java expertise, he said. I replied saying I've not done java in a few years so I'm probably a bit rusty with it now. No problem, he says, his client is tech agnostic (why state java expertise in the first message then?). Asks me to send over my CV and he can run through the role in more detail. I don't send my CV but ask him who the client is first. He says he can't reveal that "at this point due to client SLAs" and asks again for my CV and we can discuss it on a call. No, fuck off.

[Ben]

Yeah those people can fuck right off.

[SvN]

Recruiters are the scum of the Earth.

[Boydy]

A lot of them, yeah, but (and I can't believe I'm saying this as I used to think the same way) some of them are decent. There's a guy who got me an offer when I was looking for my second software job who was incredibly sound because I had two offers (his and a direct application) and I wanted the direct one and he said "I'm not going to put any pressure on you or give you the hard sell or anything, you need to do what's right for you" and every time I've been looking since, I go back to him and see what he's got on. And if I'm ever in the position someday of me being the hiring manager, he'll be the first recruiter I contact if I need one.

[Ben]

What sort of fees do they get? In my industry everyone tends to know everyone so we all just get around on word of mouth, hence I'm pretty oblivious to the whole recruiting thing as an immediate rebuff is the furthest I've ever gotten with them.

[Raoul Duke]

What sort of fees do they get? In my industry everyone tends to know everyone so we all just get around on word of mouth, hence I'm pretty oblivious to the whole recruiting thing as an immediate rebuff is the furthest I've ever gotten with them.

Can be around 10-20% of first year salary

[Dquincy]

20% of first year salary. They are vermin, that I sadly have to rely on.

[Spikey M]

I once interviewed for a company based in Biggin Hill that were opening a new office in Dartford. I got called back for a second interview, met the boss and got offered the job, BUT the Dartford Office had fallen through so I'd have to commute to Biggin Hill every day. No thanks.

When I got home the recruiter called me and tried everything to get me to take it. From an extra grand a year to "it isn't that far".

Mate, I've driven it. Twice. It takes an hour and 20 minutes at midday plus the Dartford toll. At rush hour I'd be looking at atleast 2 hours each way.

"Well google says 50 minutes!?"
Where from?
"I just put Essex"
Ok, try southend
"...... ok, but they really liked you and..."
The answer is no.
"I think you're going to regret not taking this opportunity"

Fucking parasite.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, I was pretty shocked by what is deemed acceptable in the UK. Recruitment companies are actually pretty helpful over here, but most jobs go through our government's job section so pretty much everything is in one place.

[Lofty]

As previously said by the sensible ones any twat knocking on your door offering services is either on the rob or a 'traveller' running a con. Think about how when you want someone it's hard to get a decent tradesman to come out. There's a reason these cunts are coming to you.

If SvN had let the free sample happen they would have told him he owed them £100 and when he said no sent the big lad up to menace him.

[Kikó]

I've had reasonable experiences with recruiters but some of them are clearly just getting CVs to tick a box.

[Shindig]

I've had one bad experience which led to a three day shambles of a job. Advertised it as a standard office job with training provided. No interview so I'm straight in. I get there and they wanted someone already up to speed so they could cover someone on maternity leave. Nobody was interested in showing me the ropes.

I was still sending the recruiters paperwork to finish my registration when I was given the boot.

[Baz]

Sold a projector on eBay for £311. They messaged saying they changed their mind and wouldn’t pay.

Sold it again today for £300 and payment has not yet been made. :mad: Specifically said to pay straight away and I’ll ship it (on my way to work Christmas lunch) in the hope of it arriving in time for Christmas.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'll give you £50.

[Lofty]

Is it possible to be raging whilst eating pigs in blankets?

[Boydy]

My phone updated the other day and I don't know if it's the Samsung UI on Android or Whatsapp itself but I've now got grammarly checking my whatsapp messages and highlighting stuff that should be corrected. No one fucking needs that shit, get out of here.

[igor_balis]

My phone updated the other day and I don't know if it's the Samsung UI on Android or Whatsapp itself but I've now got grammarly checking my whatsapp messages and highlighting stuff that should be corrected. No one fucking needs that shit, get out of here.

I mean, after some of the messages you've sent me...

[Boydy]

At least I type my grammatically incorrect sentences in one message instead of a word per message.

[Giggles]

Careful or he'll post them, cunt has bad form.

[igor_balis]

https://scontent-man2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/322052299_668036205069815_674069976311640669_n.png ?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=BkyyeIj0whIAX8XfzKi&_nc_ht=scontent-man2-1.xx&oh=03_AdTfuMlQyiaxlN6Rm9-pzKsv13t72rWpBPv_D8rQYThNYA&oe=63D9A2E5

RIP to 4 years of absolute wank saved on my tivo box :(

I mean, the ~400 episodes of composer of the day i'd have never listened to and random episodes of repair shop my mum accidentally linked to the middle room's tivo box can do one, but i'd saved the entire run of ESPN's 30 for 30, and last time I checked they were absent from the usual dodgy places and the only option was a $200 box set and a region free dvd player. Oh well.

[phonics]

99% of the 30 for 30s are on youtube.

[Baz]

Why isn't 'paste as plain text' the default for ctrl+v? I can't remember the last time I happily pasted the formatting with whatever it was I was nabbing. Daft.

[Ian]

It would be easier, I'm pretty much in the habit of making it a CTRL+Shift+V at this point though.

[Baz]

It would be easier, I'm pretty much in the habit of making it a CTRL+Shift+V at this point though.I'm a mouse man (add it to the list of titles) and since Windows 11 infected my computer, I've gotta select "MOAR OPTIONS" to find paste as plain text hidden away, rather than clicking the easy little paste icon.

[Disco]

I always wonder at the process behind changes like that, when something is changed to be objectively worse. Anyway, can you not make a quick mouse macro to do it for you?

[Ben]

Ctrl+Shift+V doesn't work in an infuriatingly significant number of apps. Does my nut in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not yet sure how much of this is my fault and how much is shitty installation, but while trying to change an LED ceiling lightbulb earlier I managed to pull the fitting out of the wire and thus opened / shorted the entire lighting circuit in my flat. No sparks around until Monday, so I'm now shrouded in glorious darkness apart from a lamp that's plugged into the mains.

These modern lights where the works are all inside the fucking ceiling are not the easiest thing to deal with.

[Spikey M]

I used to work with a bloke when I was around 18 and I still have him on Facebook now. He's now 43 and has 3 kids with his wife.

- The eldest lives in a hospice and is essentially Harvey Price.

- The middle child is in hospital regularly for some kind of kidney treatment. Possibly dialysis, but I can't be sure.

- The youngest has pictures uploaded every other day in hospital for tests, but I've no idea why with this one.

Terrible luck lad, you probably shouldn't keep having ki... what's that lad? She's pregnant again? Oh right. Congratulations?

[Baz]

Yikes. Even healthy kids are a fucking burden so I can't even imagine how miserable he is.

[Lofty]

Poster child for NHS privatisation.

[Don]

The images :sick:

[SincereTheRebel]

My wallet is on its last legs. Every time i take it out my pocket, Im now looking for a new one. No need for a coin holders. Slim. Sleek. Bright colored. 5+ card holders. Now, we looking.

[Baz]

My wallet is on its last legs. Every time i take it out my pocket, Im now looking for a new one. No need for a coin holders. Slim. Sleek. Bright colored. 5+ card holders. Now, we looking.

I've a Louboutin one that looks boring and black but then you open it and WAPOWWW it's bright red. And empty cos I spent all my money on the wallet and have nothing left. :happycry:

[randomlegend]

£350 on a wallet is mental (said the man who spent £700 on a kitchen knife).

[Spikey M]

The pepper mill noncery still reigns supreme as the biggest waste of money in TTH history (and I'm including our various investment failures).

[niko_cee]

Surely a wallet is entirely obselete in the modern age (other than as an advertisement as to how much of a materialistic twat you are).

[randomlegend]

The pepper mill noncery still reigns supreme as the biggest waste of money in TTH history (and I'm including our various investment failures).

That pepper mill is incredible :drool:

I'd pay double for it having used it

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The pepper mill noncery still reigns supreme as the biggest waste of money in TTH history (and I'm including our various investment failures).

Luca spending £800 or so on a fairly plain looking Hermes belt has to be up there too.

[Baz]

I own this coat (https://www.farfetch.com/uk/shopping/men/moncler-queyras-feather-down-jacket-item-19182986.aspx?storeid=13539), but got it for a bargain price of £100. :baz:

[SincereTheRebel]

https://bellroy.com/products/card-sleeve-wallet?color=citrus&material=leather&size=default#slide-4

Looking at this yellow one as i need it bright. I usually throw down my wallet, and struggle to find it on a table, sofa or the side of the bed.

[Don]

Mine's coming to its end too. I would really love to surrender my wallet like these new-age melts as not having to think about it would be quite freeing but I haven't adopted using my phone for contactless payments and it's still good to have a vehicle for train tickets/driving license?/cash even if the condoms and bags are retired.

[Boydy]

Have you heard of "pockets"?

[Yevrah]

Yeah, I binned my wallet off years ago. Mobile, card and keys are all that's left the house with me for years.

[Baz]

Where do you keep your TTH stickers/business cards?

[Yevrah]

My PA carries those around for me.

[Don]

Have you heard of "pockets"?

The whole advantage to a wallet is it brings them all together into one unit, I'm not adopting some fucking crack addict aesthetic of having 5 or 6 bits and bobs in a pocket. It's also not functional for an active and mobile lifestyle. See also my views on tote bags.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, no chance I'm ever abandoning the wallet. Loose bank cards going around with me? No chance.

Plus it's always good to have fallbacks like having a driving licence on you for ID, having your NI number on the card in there, etc. And I carry cash because you do sometimes need it in the shadier establishments.

[Ben]

I genuinely thought a tote bag was slang for a cocaine baggy. But Levi's kindly introduced the little pocket for that about 200 years ago.

[Ian]

What shady establishments are you going to Jimmy?

Genuinely don't think I've had cash in my wallet since sometime near the start of lockdown.

[Don]

Shady establishments :drool:

NI card I never took outside with me, didn't know that was a thing. Easily copied into a note on your phone and all the store cards are digital so I'm just waiting for driving license/ID to be able to be put on the phone.

[Boydy]

The whole advantage to a wallet is it brings them all together into one unit, I'm not adopting some fucking crack addict aesthetic of having 5 or 6 bits and bobs in a pocket. It's also not functional for an active and mobile lifestyle. See also my views on tote bags.
Bank card and keys, what else do you need?

Maybe try a handbag.

[Ben]

I didn't use cash through much of 2020 obviously but I find I'm using it more again now and it's the same with others I know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What shady establishments are you going to Jimmy?

Quite a lot of smaller independent food places (kebab shops and the like), bars at the smaller local cricket clubs, people who need tipping, any shop when the card machine breaks or the wi-fi is down (happens reasonably often). Even happened to me in Homebase the other day.

Not to mention actual shady establishments. A certain sector of small businessman doesn't like the overheads involved in card payments and/or doesn't like it all being logged for tax, can't see that changing either.

[Ben]

Not to mention construction jobs. I paid for my drive and back garden path/patio to be re-done and saved myself a grand because I paid the guy cash (no VAT).

[Boydy]

You're not fucking walking around with the cash for a construction job on your house in your pocket normally though, are you?

[Ben]

I'd drifted into arguments for keeping cash in general, my bad. Back to pockets and overpriced wallets.

[Manc]

Card holders are the one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh yeah, when a Somali guy turned up to fix my car he wanted paying in paper. Luckily I have a drawer full of the stuff just in case.

[Don]

They'll fucking complain about the state of the country and then enable tax evasion. Dickheads.

[Pepe]

I have stopped carrying my cellphone around and chuck the house keys under the mat in front of the door, so nowadays I either carry nothing or one credit card if I am going shopping. License plus car keys if driving is involved.

[Lofty]

The pepper mill noncery still reigns supreme as the biggest waste of money in TTH history (and I'm including our various investment failures).

I spent £360 on a scale replica Ghostbusters Proton Pack the other day :cool:

[Spikey M]

If you're quick you can delete that before anyone else sees.

[Don]

I thought it was some lego or something but I've just googled it :D What does it do that it costs so much? Does it actually hoover up the ghosts?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Counters the negative energy of ghosts with a stream of positively charged ions. Sounds like a bargain if anything.

[Ben]

What the fuck. :D

[SincereTheRebel]

I spent £360 on a scale replica Ghostbusters Proton Pack the other day :cool:

Im about to follow.


https://youtu.be/ytI929g4puE

[randomlegend]

My pepper grinder is looking pretty normal now.

[Lewis]

Floyd carrying this (https://www.picclickimg.com/HFgAAOSwKThgQMz3/National-Record-Of-Achievement-Folder-A4-Leather-Burgundy.webp) around with him get a life man.

[Spikey M]

My pepper grinder is looking pretty normal now.

Yeah, he's absolutely done you there to be fair. That's going to take some upstanding.

[Spikey M]

Floyd carrying this (https://www.picclickimg.com/HFgAAOSwKThgQMz3/National-Record-Of-Achievement-Folder-A4-Leather-Burgundy.webp) around with him get a life man.

I still have mine. Half a rainforest of attendance certificates and my 9th place in the Essex Under 16's trampolining award. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Floyd carrying this (https://www.picclickimg.com/HFgAAOSwKThgQMz3/National-Record-Of-Achievement-Folder-A4-Leather-Burgundy.webp) around with him get a life man.

I wouldn't have got into Tiger Tiger in Portsmouth a couple of years ago unless I'd had my ID on me.

[Lewis]

I get the feeling you haven't been asked for ID since.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm thirty-four and bald, of course I haven't been. Except when picking things up from the post office, or getting vaccinated, or picking up my mother's prescription, or doing any number of everyday tasks.

[Spikey M]

#BaldPrivilege

[Lewis]

The Post Office accepts your bank card as proof; prescriptions I don't know; but there can't be that many 'everyday tasks' needing it. I think the last time I had to take my driving licence anywhere for identity purposes was buying my flat.

[Spikey M]

The nightclubs around here ID everyone apparently. The number of times the poor bouncers must hear "oooh, I'll come here again!" from haggered 30-40 year old women that shouldn't be allowed in must be pretty jarring.

[randomlegend]

I get IDed for alcohol if I'm in trackies and a hoodie but not if I'm in work clothes (chinos and shirt).

[niko_cee]

The nightclubs around here ID everyone apparently. The number of times the poor bouncers must hear "oooh, I'll come here again!" from haggered 30-40 year old women that shouldn't be allowed in must be pretty jarring.

Sounds like the ID policy is designed to be doing you a favour.

I was ID'd for alcohol not that long ago in a supermarket and I just laughed and they deferred to that reaction.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I spent £360 on a scale replica Ghostbusters Proton Pack the other day :cool:

:cool:

[Offshore Toon]

Crap clubs like Tiger Tiger ID everyone as they scan you into a system so if you kick off they can properly ban you.

[Lofty]

I mistakenly thought I was being IDed for cigarettes last night but it turned out the cashier was asking some whippersnapper at a self service till behind me, 'I don't need to see yours mate' making feel like late stage Razor Ruddock.

[Kikó]

Floyd carrying this (https://www.picclickimg.com/HFgAAOSwKThgQMz3/National-Record-Of-Achievement-Folder-A4-Leather-Burgundy.webp) around with him get a life man.

I still do. Where else are you meant to keep your national record of achievements?

I'm also a wallet user. It's full of cards - it's not practical to just carry them loose (could also carry fewer cards)

[Shindig]

I don't know where mine wound up. It might be at my parents' but god knows if it made the last couple of house moves.

[Baz]

This discussion made me "empty" my wallet today. A few receipts, DPD postage slip, ticket to a RLWC game went in the bin. Then I looked in my mates wallet (with permission) and it was absolutely rammed with cards and bits of paper.

Mine literally has 2 bank cards, driving license, pub reward card and a handful of TTH stickers in so its dead flat. Couldn't be doing with carrying a bumper package around, full of rubbish. Used to work with someone who kept coins in his wallet. :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've had some US dollars in mine since I last went there in 2011. Hope they haven't changed the notes or anything since.

[Pepe]

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1618/5353/products/TrumpDollar_1024x.png?v=1646777605

[Ben]

This doesn't fuck me off, but I imagine it'll fuck a lot of other people off.

My wife ordered a carbon monoxide detector and it was delivered at 6:15 this morning. :cab: Now we're up at that time anyway because I'm already off to work and she's up around 6:00 with the baby, but imagine getting woken up at that time by an exuberant delivery driver. It might be the norm in the city I don't know but out in the sticks we usually don't get a peep until the postman at about 10ish.

[Ian]

I've had some US dollars in mine since I last went there in 2011. Hope they haven't changed the notes or anything since.

I've got a note for a million Turkish lira in mine from about 2003.

Sadly it's now not even worth the 20p it was then.

[Ben]

You're laughing if you want new hair or teeth, though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This doesn't fuck me off, but I imagine it'll fuck a lot of other people off.

My wife ordered a carbon monoxide detector and it was delivered at 6:15 this morning. :cab: Now we're up at that time anyway because I'm already off to work and she's up around 6:00 with the baby, but imagine getting woken up at that time by an exuberant delivery driver. It might be the norm in the city I don't know but out in the sticks we usually don't get a peep until the postman at about 10ish.

In the city the norm is you get woken up by sirens at 3am, by a bin lorry at 7am and if you're sleeping in at the weekend, there'll be someone else's children to finish the job at 8am. You're lucky if the delivery driver comes at all.

[Offshore Toon]

My mate used to live above World's End in Camden. Sounds kinda cool until you're woken up by the sound of glass bottles clattering into the bin every morning.

[niko_cee]

Urban supermarkets are the killers. Deliveries on those fucking metal crate things at god knows what o'clock every day. My wife worked at the fancy 'Bluebird' Sainsburys on the Kings Road for a while at it drove the well-heeled residents insane.

[Lofty]

A Nisa has opened across the road from my colleague in a leafy part of greater Manchester and he already has a detailed spreadsheet of noise complaints on the go.

[Shindig]

I used to be a couple of doors down from a corner shop and there was always something pulling up at 4am.

[wullie]

We've got a pub/hotel combo nearby so the faint sounds of bottles going into the bin is ok but in the summer when they put on weddings it's the hired entertainers that kill you. Robbie Williams tribute acts really carry through the air.

[Lofty]

Presumably because his hits all have held notes in them: 'through it allllllllll' 'let meeeeeeeeeee entertain you' etc

[Ian]

Was making the most of the nice weather and walking back from the shop there and saw some absolutely feral child having a piss in his own garden.

5 or 6 I'd say, his bottoms round his ankles, facing the pavement, having a piss.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Gypo children do a lot of that sort of thing, but I haven't been to Scotland for a while.

[Manc]

There was a kid in primary school who always dropped his trousers for a piss. Bewildering.

[SvN]

Feels good, man.

[Lewis]

I told everyone at work that the lad who weirdly uses the disabled toilet does so because he does primary school wees and strips off to have a shit, and nobody had ever heard of the primary school wee.

[randomlegend]

Car dealers refusing to communicate by email is something I'm finding really annoying.

They all have these useless live chats who don't know anything. So you ask a simple question, the answer is always "I don't know, can I take your name and number so someone can phone you back".

Tell them I'd rather an email as I often can't answer the phone at work.

"That's fine I'll take your email address".

Email comes through:
"Hi can you give me a time to call you so we can discuss the car you're interested in".

Just answer the fucking question...

I get they are doing it so they can try and sell me it once they get me on the phone but I'm more likely to just stop engaging if I can't get an answer to a straightforward query.

[Ben]

The people who want to communicate by email are usually more clued up and will know how to haggle/question. The muggins who answer the phone are more naive and/or put on the spot so pressuring just one of those into a sale is likely more profitable than a good handful of sales to knowledgable folk.

After all, they’re salesmen. Far more adept at the spiel than knowing intricacies of the technicals.

[Spikey M]

I know a decent used car dealer up that way if you're interested RL?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It'll be because they're not used to using computers or are never located near a computer. I have the same thing constantly in our industry. It's drawn along the same class lines as cash vs card.

[Ian]

Are car salesman also primarily octogenarian weirdos?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I know a decent used car dealer up that way if you're interested RL?

PM him the phone number.

[Spikey M]

PM him the phone number.

That was going to be the joke you bastard.

[Ben]

Are car salesman also primarily octogenarian weirdos?

Yeah, they’re salesmen. If they can get an extra percent commission selling pens and paper, they’ll be off. Dealership sales rarely know anything about cars beyond what you can read in the brochure.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was going to be the joke you bastard.

:cool:

[randomlegend]

It'll be because they're not used to using computers or are never located near a computer. I have the same thing constantly in our industry. It's drawn along the same class lines as cash vs card.

But they write you an email asking you to call them/for a time they can call you. So they can clearly use email. They just want to get you on the phone.

[Baz]

Presumably they get lots of timewasters emailing them. If you're on the phone, maybe they assume you're actually seriously considering buying their car.

[Spikey M]

It will be partly that and partly because people usually have numerous questions about a car and by the time you've sent 147 emails back and forth the new Citroën Tampon 2026 will be rolling out.

I face similar at work. People are inexplicably happy to spend days sending and receiving tedious emails, when a 5 minute phone call could have sorted it.

Just tell them when you're next off work and give them your phone number you fanny.

[randomlegend]

If they answered my one question, which is a simple yes/no answer, I'd have arranged a test drive. As it is they can fuck off.

[Don]

There's a real niche market available there for car salesmen/builders/plumbers/etc who can cater to the autistic who can't deal with phonecalls. A bit like those 'Woman With a Van' bollocks built on superbly accurate and beneficial sexist stereotypes.

[niko_cee]

Ever since I found out that the WRFU [or whatever they are] considers the singing of Delilah a bit of a hate crime I've had the bastard song stuck in my head. Must be over 2 weeks now. :moop:

[Spikey M]

They were talking about that on the radio the other day and it's definitely one of those songs that I've heard a thousand times but never really listened to, because I was taken aback by the words.

It shouldn't be banned, obviously, but you can kind of see where the Fembots are coming from on this one. The real question is how it took them this long. Was ruining all the best Christmas songs more important?

[Jimmy Floyd]

If it makes you feel any better, the most recent wedding I was at featured the entire waiting staff 'unexpectedly' bursting into said song and leading the room in about 5 rounds of it, before moving on to Sweet Caroline and also starting an enforced conga line.

Great fun, they said.

[Shindig]

I assumed it just followed the bible story but I guess you can't make 3 verses and a chorus out of that. Well, Cliff Richard would.

[Baz]

If it makes you feel any better, the most recent wedding I was at featured the entire waiting staff 'unexpectedly' bursting into said song and leading the room in about 5 rounds of it, before moving on to Sweet Caroline and also starting an enforced conga line.

Great fun, they said.The worst. Add in Rolling on the River and you’ve the hattrick of shite.

[Giggles]

Bit of Rock the Boat and Maniac 2000 and you're golden.

[Dquincy]

If it makes you feel any better, the most recent wedding I was at featured the entire waiting staff 'unexpectedly' bursting into said song and leading the room in about 5 rounds of it, before moving on to Sweet Caroline and also starting an enforced conga line.

Great fun, they said.

Bet you were leading the conga line you legend.

[igor_balis]

Bet you were leading the conga line you legend.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c9/2b/d0/c92bd0c0f101019fdb85bd607ad2354e.gif

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.singing-waiters.co.uk/

These were the fellas. Clicking on any of those videos makes me curl up with fear all over again.

[Lewis]

Back in the day there used to be an Italian restaurant in Hull that had singing waiters on hand to embarrass birthday guests, and even as a child it made me cringe myself to near death. Unfortunately, this was pre and early-Tony Blair era we're talking about, where quality pizza was hard to find, so I had to endure several birthday serenades there.

'...bella ciao-CIAO-CIAO!'
*absolutely crimson in the stupid hat with a sparkler in*

[Boydy]

Tbf, if you're not drunk enough to sing along when those lot roll out at a wedding, you're doing weddings wrong.

[Shindig]

Think of the people who have to drive home.

[Lewis]

'Sweeeeeeeet Ca-ro-line (No Sur-render)'

[Pepe]

Every girl's dream wedding involves the waiters being the center of attention.

[Gray Fox]

Got the kids up ready for back to school this morning, to find out they've an inset day. This is compounded by the school the Mrs works at not having an inset day today.

And of course I don't have the day booked off, so my workplace is obviously thrilled at the situation.

[Dquincy]

Got the kids up ready for back to school this morning, to find out they've an inset day. This is compounded by the school the Mrs works at not having an inset day today.

And of course I don't have the day booked off, so my workplace is obviously thrilled at the situation.

Your work not allow working from home?

[Gray Fox]

Can't do it from home unfortunately. WFH would be a dream.

I went in later to cover off my hours.

[Spikey M]

2 things.

1) iNfLuEnCeRs filming in the gym. I went to use the dipping station earlier and this cunt with his phone on a tripod starts giving me "bro* I'm filming here". I don't care lad. Just use your machine. You don't own the backdrop.

2) Getting old. I just started typing an email because I thought the date of birth for one of our new tenants was wrong. It wasn't. It turns out people born in 2005 are somehow 18? Well fuck.

* turns out 3 things. Don't call me bro, bruh.

[Yevrah]

The way people use gyms is an absolute disgrace. You don't need to smell like an industrial accident at a perfume factory when coming to one either. Just go in, exercise and fuck off.

[Kikó]

You'll enjoy Shredded Sports Science.


https://youtu.be/qXK26x31lVU

[Don]

1629975959108481025

Why are these gym vids so big all of a sudden? Cameraphones, influencers and gym culture have been around for over a decade yet it seems like the last 12 months has seen a real surge for things like 'gym creeps' and shit to be a trending topic. Also, don't knock the perfume at gym behaviour, rather that then some of the natural odours you get.

[phonics]

TikTok

[Don]

Ah, of course.

[Ben]

I’d much rather tolerate some hairy backs and grunting than this pathetic TikTok culture. Flimsy cunts built like inverted triangles can’t squat as much as they curl.

[Waffdon]

1629975959108481025

Why are these gym vids so big all of a sudden? Cameraphones, influencers and gym culture have been around for over a decade yet it seems like the last 12 months has seen a real surge for things like 'gym creeps' and shit to be a trending topic. Also, don't knock the perfume at gym behaviour, rather that then some of the natural odours you get.

Nothing more scary than looking around a gym and seeing a phone set up recording right in your line of sight and wondering if you’ll end up on another TikTok gym video.

[Pepe]

That is why I don't go to the gym.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is also why I do not frequent any gym.

[Waffdon]

I think there’s woman who genuinely go round and try and see if someone will stare at them in their ridiculously short and tight leggings. There was one the other week who took 3/4 mins to set up her camera directly to my left and done 1 set lasting 15 seconds and then fucked off.

[Lofty]

Yeah that is a thing, they do it so they can catch you looking on vid and then confront you to try and go viral apparently.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

RIP Foe then.

[Foe]

I’ve watched bro science and am aware of the mirror angle dangers.

I’ve been creeping since before TikTok was a thing too, so I’m probably already famous.

[Spikey M]

I did enjoy a video of one of them stuck on a bench with the bar on her chest and no fucker went to help.

It's a product of a completely broken society, but still, was pretty funny.

[Dquincy]

The whole filming yourself in a gym, I'm just impressed by the fact they have no embarrassment of doing this. I'd be way too self-conscious.

[Boydy]

I'm glad I exercise at home.

[Baz]

I've never been in a gym.

Not that you'd know (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?62-Post-A-Pic-O-Yersel-(The-Mugshot-Thread)&p=564029&viewfull=1#post564029).

[Dquincy]

Smoother than an eel.

[randomlegend]

I'm assuming it's been changed to make it more environmentally friendly, but cling film is absolutely shit now.

[Shindig]

Well, that's going to end up read in court.

[Gray Fox]

The school messaging app. Despite being moved over to the "primary parent contact" when I moved part-time, it just will not message me at all with any news. Luckily the Mrs had a later lunch today as the kids school is closing at 13:30 today because of the weather.

They only sent that message out just after 12:30 too.

[niko_cee]

In other school related stuff, I've now heard from two separate sources that there's a kid at secondary school over here who identifies as a fox (there are in fact no actual foxes on the island), comes in with a tail, walks about on all fours and there's some suggestion of a litter tray being put in the toilets for him/her/it. I can only assume this is entirely made up but such is the nature of the world it's hard to be certain. You have to draw the line somewhere short of accommodating that, surely?

[Waffdon]

There was one in Scotland with dressing up as a cat. :lol:

[Giggles]

That’s the time to take them off the parents and sterilising them (the parents).

[Spikey M]

It's a Furry, right? One of these cunts:

https://i.ibb.co/WfYjyJv/anthrocon.jpg

[Lofty]

My mate's lad's girlfriend is non-binary and had chosen the name Keith. As someone else pointed out, Keith is hardly non-binary, surely it should be something like Tharg?

[Ian]

To be fair you don't get many Keiths any more so making a name suitable for all might revitalise its popularity.

[Spikey M]

My wife has an Uncle Keith, but I'm now worried that referring to him as an uncle is insensitive. Is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?

[Danny]

https://youtu.be/lHAdR98D9Us

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

In other school related stuff, I've now heard from two separate sources that there's a kid at secondary school over here who identifies as a fox (there are in fact no actual foxes on the island), comes in with a tail, walks about on all fours and there's some suggestion of a litter tray being put in the toilets for him/her/it. I can only assume this is entirely made up but such is the nature of the world it's hard to be certain. You have to draw the line somewhere short of accommodating that, surely?

:D

[Boydy]

Do kids not doing bullying any more? Obviously most of it is bad but sometimes it's called for.

[niko_cee]

I'm sure they do, but that's probably really lame as well, not being included in WhatsApp groups and the like [pretty sure that has been referenced on here before, maybe by Mo].

My understanding of 'furries' was that they were more like cosplayers/larpers.

[Spikey M]

Victimhood is fashionable these days, so being bullied is probably a status symbol by now.

[Luke Emia]

Going to the gym in the afternoon. It’s just full of absolute fucking retards. No one actually working out all just standing there staring at themselves and their steroid laced bodies like they’ve actually achieved something.

[Foe]

My gym appears to have recruited tens if not hundreds of late teens who must go straight after school.

They swarm equipment ie benches and squat racks and spend half their time talking and on their phones. Fuck off.

[Giggles]

Aren’t you making millions at this stage? Put a gym in the house.

[Boydy]

Lidl's kale. Half the bag is fucking stalk.

[niko_cee]

Those crafty Germans.

Presumably it's so cheap you can just double up if you're a leaf guy even better for you?].

Kale annoys me when it isn't chopped up enough as reducing already [poorly] chopped stuff is a pain. Whole cavolo nero is the way to go.

[Giggles]

Just buy some actually food.

[Spikey M]

Kale is the shittest version of cabbage going.

[Baz]

I don’t think I’ve ever had kale “done right.” It’s always an absolute waste of time. I’d honestly rather have any other veg, I reckon.

[mo]

I'm sure they do, but that's probably really lame as well, not being included in WhatsApp groups and the like [pretty sure that has been referenced on here before, maybe by Mo].

My understanding of 'furries' was that they were more like cosplayers/larpers.

Indeed.

My school has/had a furry, who outed himself. Unsurprisingly the bullying was so relentless, he became a school refuser and his parents decided to homeschool instead.

I've now got a situation where a pair of twins, who seemingly share their brain cell, are perpetually 'bullying' two other boys, to the extent that the two have had time off because they're too scared to come to school, refusing to eat, being sick with nerves, etc. The bullying has ranged from calling them racist (twins originate from South America somewhere) to calling one of them 'rabbit' and telling people that he picks his nose.

Year 9, ffs. You can tell I don't work in an inner city school.

[Ian]

Sick with nerves because people are being told you pick your nose. :D

[mo]

I get an essay from his mum every other day at the moment. He's got the resilience of a toddler.

I secretly hope he'll just get so fed up one day and chin one of them. Yeah he'll get excluded but he might actually get left alone.

[Baz]

Mo picks his nose, pass it on.

[mo]

:vomit:

[Spikey M]

Chin him Mo.

[SincereTheRebel]

World has gone soft lads.

[CJay]

Chin him Mo.

Good player.

[John Arne]

Malaysia's second choice right-back, iirc.

[Spikey M]

Good player.

:D

[niko_cee]

Sir Jony Ive's red noses making a seriously play for shittest designed thing in all of human history [usurping the now ubiquitous paper straw]. It appears to be mostly plastic as well so what is the fucking point of it? Not suitable for under 7s, and last about 10 minutes in the hands of any child. Genious stuff.

[John Arne]

Genious, indeed. :D

[Spikey M]

Last winter we didn't take the kids to see Father Christmas as Covid shut the gaff the day before we were going. So my Mrs started banging on about going to Lapland UK next Christmas and soppy bollocks here said "yeah, if you want."

So the tickets were released today (Yes lads, in March) and she's gone on and booked. £430. :moop:

On the plus side there was 165,000 people in the queue when she last looked, so there will be men up and down the country mirroring my seethe today.

Fleecing cunts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lapland UK?

[Yevrah]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4-RXAp2Lus

That looks so shit. :D

[Boydy]

Should have just told the little fuckers Santa isn't real.

[Spikey M]

Lapland UK?

https://portal.laplanduk.co.uk

Basically going to see Father Christmas with some Ice Skating and a Build-a-bear chucked in. Kids can't just sit on a sweaty nonces knee in a shopping centre these days. Everything has to be an event.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4-RXAp2Lus

That looks so shit. :D

Good luck Spikes :harold:

[Spikey M]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4-RXAp2Lus

That looks so shit. :D

No Yev, it's "magical", but more importantly some mums on the school gate went last year so...

[Ben]

Good grief. :D

[Spikey M]

£430 :(

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is the dark side of the feminist revolution.

[Spikey M]

I felt less violated when that old cunt bounced a can of Coke off my bonce.

[randomlegend]

£430 :D

I could've got 12 bottles of wanky soy sauce for that.

[Spikey M]

I will never mock that pepper mill again.

[niko_cee]

If there are/were 165k other mugs in the queue can you not just scalp the tickets to someone?

Even at £430 though still better value that this shit (https://www.pumpkinfarm.co.uk/) which is just one of the most inexplicable things I've ever been to. Sort of went on the understanding that you'd get the pumpkin as part of the ticket price, but no, it's just a ticket to go into a muddy field and select an overpriced pumpkin. There were thousands of people there.

[Don]

None of us had such pleasures and experiences growing up and it really shows. Great to see us collectively breaking the trend and setting our children's futures onto the correct path. Are these events LGBTQ+ inclusive too?

[niko_cee]

They're useful for teaching kids extreme levels of cynicism from a young age.

[-james-]

I thought you meant actual Lapland and £430 seemed quite reasonable.

[niko_cee]

That'd be more like £4300, or probably more, so on a par with going to Center Parcs.

I've not been skiing for 10 years so can only imagine how insanely expensive that has got.

[Mike]

It was suggested in our house we go there. I’ve suggested not.
I feel I’ll have a less successful attempt at preventing Disney at some point.

[Lofty]

Wait til you get there and they're charging £5 for a Freddo, Spikey.

[Pen]

Last winter we didn't take the kids to see Father Christmas as Covid shut the gaff the day before we were going. So my Mrs started banging on about going to Lapland UK next Christmas and soppy bollocks here said "yeah, if you want."

So the tickets were released today (Yes lads, in March) and she's gone on and booked. £430. :moop:

On the plus side there was 165,000 people in the queue when she last looked, so there will be men up and down the country mirroring my seethe today.

Fleecing cunts.

Could’ve probably gotten tickets to actual Lapland for that 😄

[Ben]

Purple Bricks.

I know they’re cheap but everything is so fucking slow due to having to communicate online and not have an agent picking the phone up to mediate. They seemingly couldn’t care any less that I want to buy one of their advertised houses.

[Waffdon]

Just the £1800pp for two nights for the real Lapland. Spikey’s missus is smart.

[Boydy]

Purple Bricks.

I know they’re cheap but everything is so fucking slow due to having to communicate online and not have an agent picking the phone up to mediate. They seemingly couldn’t care any less that I want to buy one of their advertised houses.
Weren't they nearly bust not so long ago?

[Ben]

I can see why.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I'm sure they entered administration like ... last month.

[Spikey M]

Just the £1800pp for two nights for the real Lapland. Spikey’s missus is smart.

It'll only take one of the Range Rover mums at the school gate to go this year and she'll start working on me.

[Luke Emia]

Purple Bricks.

I know they’re cheap but everything is so fucking slow due to having to communicate online and not have an agent picking the phone up to mediate. They seemingly couldn’t care any less that I want to buy one of their advertised houses.

Because they have taken their cut when the owner put the house up for sale they have no real need to sell the house. Thus they don’t give a shit.

[Don]

What do you need from them? My buyer just put in an offer which came direct to me and we communicated on there. They were merely the platform for communication and once we agreed a price it's an immediate memorandum of sale or whatever so no delays from them at all. Any delay is surely from the seller themselves, no?

Having said that, I was offered some dodgy as fuck sub-letting arrangement with an optional buy clause at the end of the period by some Albanian as soon as my listing went up on there which the agent even piped up to say it's nonsense and I should reject it (no shit, mate).

And just yesterday, I got this email:


Complete Anti-Money Laundering checks to progress your property sale


Hi Don

We’re required by law to carry out checks on all those selling or buying a property through Purplebricks.

We know you might have already carried out Anti-Money Laundering (AML) checks for us. However, we’re now undergoing some additional and repeat checks to verify what we hold on file.

Why do we need to redo these checks?

Completing these checks will help us to progress your property sale. It’s also to make sure we’re compliant and we continue to uphold the highest standards.

A Purplebricks representative will call you at some point this week to carry out these checks.

What to expect on the call

The Purplebricks representative will introduce themselves and ask you to confirm some personal details to make sure that it is you we’re speaking to.

We’ll likely need to run two checks:

an Anti-Money Laundering check carried out over the phone
a check carried out through an identity verification app called Credas


After the call, we’ll send you a link with instructions on how to download the Credas app and complete the check.

We’ve designed the process to be secure and easy to use, enabling you to verify in a few minutes. You won’t need to pay anything extra for these checks.

What you’ll need to hand

You’ll need a form of ID to do this – for example, a passport, a driving licence, or your National Insurance number. The simplest form of ID to use is a passport.

Thank you for helping us to protect the integrity of the conveyancing process and to stay true to our role as a transparent, secure and customer driven estate agent.

In the meantime, if you have any questions please email pbsupport@purplebricks.com.

Best wishes,

The Purplebricks Team

The address of sender seems fishy (noreply@mail.purplebricks.co.uk) and reply to address is (reply-fec816787461057b-160_HTML-73331088-510004492-17@mail.purplebricks.co.uk) so thinking it's a scam but it's so good that I'm gonna run it past them tomorrow to check. If it is a scam, that points to a serious serious data security leak for them to have provided my email and associated transaction data to these fuckers. Will ask chatgpt if I can milk some compo out of it.

[Ben]

What do you need from them? My buyer just put in an offer which came direct to me and we communicated on there. They were merely the platform for communication and once we agreed a price it's an immediate memorandum of sale or whatever so no delays from them at all. Any delay is surely from the seller themselves, no?

Well that's the problem. Most people are useless/uneducated when it comes to this so having a regular estate agent who can pick phones up and usher it along is a lifesaver.

[Ben]

So after my strop, our offer has been agreed. Purplebricks are alright.

[randomlegend]

I will never mock that pepper mill again.

I've just spent £420 on parts to build myself a custom keyboard mate. :console:

I reckon that should cheer you right up.

[Pen]

William Hill’s customer service. It’s apparently impossible to reach. Left my phone open for the live chat for two hours on two separate occasions and didn’t get through. Also William Hill in general as I deposited 100€ there to bet who’s going to be our next pm. Only when I got to place the bet I was greeted with a 14€ cap on that market. Still, getting 10/1 instead of 3/1 that was the only other price I found is good, even if I won’t nearly as much money if it comes through.

[Boydy]

What's happened to the hot one?

[Pen]

Don’t think her party is winning the election. It’s pretty close at the top though.

[Spikey M]

Mugs. We ended up with a 5'6" manlet when we could have had a Ginger Growler. Learn from your neighbours mistakes.

[Ben]

The council had our street resurfaced the other week due to general wear and tear. It’s not a busy road so wasn’t even in bad shape but I wasn’t complaining. Now we’ve had a letter through the door today informing us the gas company are going to rip it up for eight weeks to replace the old metal pipes with plastic ones, so not even urgent works.

Do these fuckers not communicate?

[Boydy]

Fucking typical.

[Spikey M]

We have had exactly the same here, so no, I assume not. We currently have the High Speed Internet mob laying their cables here too, which is a massive pain in the arse. Their current position necessitates 4 way temporary traffic lights and it's painful, because 2 of the 4 roads see maybe 2 cars an hour as they're small cul-de-sacs full of pensioners, but they still get 60 seconds of green each cycle. Consequently people are just going through the red light and having to either reverse back or mount the pavement when they meet oncoming traffic.

The local Facebook group has had some top quality moaning on it though, so it's worth it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

March is (at least around here) the time when every road in sight gets dug up as councils, and whoever else is responsible for these things, look to dump all their remaining budget before the end of the financial year.

[Spikey M]

March is (at least around here) the time when every road in sight gets dug up as councils, and whoever else is responsible for these things, look to dump all their remaining budget before the end of the financial year.

Same here and I believe everywhere.

We regularly apply for Discretionary Housing Payments from various Councils for tenants that have arrears due to unfortunate events (job losses, death of a partner, etc) and we often save the more questionable ones for February and March as the Council will just dump their budget in any old shit to use it up.

They've had the cheek to put up Council Tax by 5% too. :happycry:

[Ben]

5.4% overall here because 9.8% rise to the fucking Police Commissioner. What a fucking racket that thing is as well.

[Disco]

I make a point of always being behind on my council tax just so I can get my moneys worth in reminder letters.

[Foe]

I receive the same letter twice on the same day every single year from Aberdeen city council.

A great way of using up budget, literally just doubling up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The lengths they go to in trying to remove my single person's discount are impressive. Six letters telling me it will come to an end as I haven't provided evidence that I'm still the sole occupant, then six more reversing the previous six after they finally catch up with their admin.

[Disco]

Easter eggs. I'm sure they've gotten smaller/more expensive etc but that's to be expected, the awful thing about your modern egg is that you no longer get a bag of sweets/chocolates inside the egg they're made/baked into the actual shell of the egg itself. Fucking rubbish and the youth of today (ie my nephew) seem completely unaware of what a downgrade they've been subjected to.