The little things in life that fuck you off

[Lewis]

Hibernia.

[Giggles]

What is this?

http://geology.com/world/satellite-image-of-ireland.jpg

Ireland and Northern Ireland.

Or Ireland and (part of) the United Kingdom if you like.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Isle of the Leprechauns.

[Spikey M]

Ireland and Northern Ireland.

Or Ireland and (part of) the United Kingdom if you like.

Why woukd it be called Northen Ireland if that wasn't the name of the rock it was the north of?

[Adamski]

Can't you just live and love Giggles. It's all the same thing really.

Have Portugal and Spain ever been a country called Iberia?

[Reg]

Giggles isn't really being fussy. People don't usually call Northern Ireland "Ireland"; if they did then others would think they're talking about Ireland. As in, below Northern Ireland...

[Giggles]

Can't you just live and love Giggles. It's all the same thing really.

Have Portugal and Spain ever been a country called Iberia?

Nope. The cunts are British, as they want. They can't have it every way and Ireland is free of 'British' for decades now.

And the Ireland I'm from has never been a state with that part within it. It began as it is now 68 years ago

[Giggles]

Giggles isn't really being fussy. People don't usually call Northern Ireland "Ireland"; if they did then others would think they're talking about Ireland. As in, below Northern Ireland...

It's just the little Englander mentality people like Jimmy that do. All facking paddies innit.

[Adamski]

Nope. The cunts are British, as they want. They can't have it every way and Ireland is free of 'British' for decades now.

And the Ireland I'm from has never been a state with that part within it. It began as it is now 68 years ago

Last paragraph is a bit hissy fit. Its been Ireland and it's never been Iberia so that comparison isn't relevant.

It's no different to people of a certain age calling it Czechoslovakia. Not worth getting worked up about, don't define yourself by hatred bro. Rise above.

[Giggles]

Last paragraph is a bit hissy fit. Its been Ireland and it's never been Iberia so that comparison isn't relevant.

It's no different to people of a certain age calling it Czechoslovakia. Not worth getting worked up about, don't define yourself by hatred bro. Rise above.

Northern Ireland has been under the British umbrella for around 800 years now. I think people could be used to it at this stage. As I said, we're free for the past 68 and it has absolutely no part of our state.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The island is Ireland and always will be, regardless of whether it's British, Irish or Japanese.

[Lewis]

It's all just Europe now.

[Spikey M]

I think we can all just agree to call it 'a bit of the British Isles' and move on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think we can all just agree to call it 'a bit of the British Isles' and move on.

That'll be another five pages when Henry turns up.

[Spikey M]

He's entitled to his view, Democracy is as British as he is.

[Adamski]

The island is Ireland and always will be, regardless of whether it's British, Irish or Japanese.

Aye that's very true. Full island is called Ireland so well within your right to refer to it as that.

Like saying you can't call it Britain it needs to be Scotland, England & Wales.

EDIT: also didn't realise Ireland is considered part of the British Isles so bow motherfucker.

[Spikey M]

You can't call it Britain. It's Great Britain.

and the northern part of the Isle of Irel.

[Adamski]

You can't call it Britain. It's Great Britain.

and the northern part of the Isle of Irel.

Well whys it not called Great Britains Got Talent then?

Oh, I see.

[Spikey M]

Because Simon Cowell is an IRA Sympathiser.

[Giggles]

Simon Cowell is worse than the IRA.

[Adamski]

Bobby Sands regen.

[Giggles]

Also, did you ever get out of that car park Boydy?

[Boydy]

Also, did you ever get out of that car park Boydy?

Yeah, not that long after the original post about it around half one.

I wasn't posting from there at 5pm. :D

[Magic]

My dad set up a stupid web cam in his house as part of his new home security system. It's meant to be an outdoor one but he was just 'testing' it in the dining room. I knew it was there as well. Anyway I was cycling and I took my padded shorts off and smelled the gooch bit right on camera.

He said he had something to show me so I watched as he played in slow motion me having a proper whiff of the bum bit and to be fair it wasn't just a quick sniff it was a full on deep breath. I did this about 3 or 4 times. I just said I was checking to see if I could wear them again but ironically it didn't quite wash...

[Adamski]

Fucking hell youre a mess :D

[Pepe]

:lol:

Send it to the bird you've been chatting up.

[SvN]

Why is your dad watching back the footage if he was just "testing"? I can see where you get it from now.

[Magic]

Remember I told you his mother-in-law who lives with him was washing the wheels on her shopping trolley thing with the dish cloth and then putting it back in the sink?

[leedsrevolution]

My dad set up a stupid web cam in his house as part of his new home security system. It's meant to be an outdoor one but he was just 'testing' it in the dining room. I knew it was there as well. Anyway I was cycling and I took my padded shorts off and smelled the gooch bit right on camera.

He said he had something to show me so I watched as he played in slow motion me having a proper whiff of the bum bit and to be fair it wasn't just a quick sniff it was a full on deep breath. I did this about 3 or 4 times. I just said I was checking to see if I could wear them again but ironically it didn't quite wash...

The last thing in the world you need right now is to be caught on web cam sniffing your dirty pants but it's fucking hilarious so thanks for that.

[igor_balis]

Girls with the 50s aesthetic. That bouffant hairstyle, flowery dresses, and almost certainly this poster in their house somewhere:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Can_Do_It!#/media/File%3AWe_Can_Do_It!.jpg


Bonus points if they do burlesque dancing. And incorrectly claim it is empowering and not shit.

[Boydy]

Can't see the picture but yes.

Burlesque is just middle class stripping.

[phonics]

Thought I'd try fix Igors picture.

The 'fitty' in question is fucking Rosie The Riveter :D

[Disco]

The woman on the poster from the 40's?

[phonics]

That one indeed.

[Offshore Toon]

Wait, who called her 'fit'?

[SvN]

phonics

[Raoul Duke]

Can't see the picture but yes.

Burlesque is just middle class stripping.

Fat middle class stripping

[Spikey M]

Fat, middle class, middle aged stripping.

[John]

I've just opened a Dairy Milk Caramel and it's genuinely about half the size of the last one I remember having. I remember as a kid lolling at all the 'back in my day' stuff when it came to sweets, but this is serious business.

[Lewis]

It's the sugar wankers who want to ruin life for everybody.

[Shindig]

The only thing I want out of the Brexit deal is proper fucking Toblerones.

[Disco]

Toblerones, famously from Switzerland of course.

[Pepe]

Found out that my bike's frame is damaged on Friday. The day before the State Championship, which also happens to be the hardest race around here. Had to do it on my old steel bike with downtube shifters. Now I need to go through a warranty claim but I don't think that is going to go well.

[ScousePig]

I live just around the corner from a council estate and there are a few charver kids who hang around near our house. They keep throwing stones at the houses and they've been damaging cars and stuff. It's affected me and my girlfriend, my next door neighbours and some other people in the area, and I think they've even put a window through the uni halls of residence down the road. My neighbour had his wing mirror broken a few days ago, and also in the past 6 months I've had my wing mirror smashed (although this may have been a passing car) and my neighbour had his car window put through.

They're all aged around 10-14. Any serious suggestions on what can be done?

[Magic]

Rape.

[Lewis]

Lamp the oldest looking (fattest) one.

[Giggles]

Get a gang of people together and knock the living fuck out of them. Like wheelchair bound a few of them, they'll be no loss to society anyway, but just make sure to keep it all hush. Better yet if you can bundle them into a van and do the deed offside somewhere.

[ScousePig]

Something's that won't wind up with me losing my job/in jail?

[Magic]

Something's that won't wind up with me losing my job/in jail?

Grooming. You'll lose your job at worst.

[Giggles]

Something's that won't wind up with me losing my job/in jail?

Only a crime if you're caught. In the good old days we could get the ra for that type of thing but if you cover up well then it can be done yourself if you've a few bodies to help. Nobody is going to give a fuck about the likes of them anyway, if they're at that shit already then they're a dead loss as it is.

[Magic]

They'll probably have hard dads/families so you're doomed Scouse. Just move somewhere nice.

[ScousePig]

1. I couldn't give a shit about their families.

2. They're kids, there isn't much I/we can physically do, and they know this.

I was thinking more along the lines of getting some cameras installed, taking photos/videos so I have faces to put to any reports to the police.

My main concern is my car if I'm honest, there's nothing really stopping them from going to town on it should they choose. Even if I caught them in the act, my options seem a bit limited.

[Magic]

Taking photos and videos of children? Nothing could possibly go wrong.

You actually remind me of Mark Corrigan.

[ScousePig]

I feel a bit like him.

[Adamski]

Attacking and abducting pre-teens :D. Course you fucking would :D

[ScousePig]

You what?

[Giggles]

You what?

That's for me. It normally is anyway.

[Adamski]

Yeah scouse sorry, it was for Captain Bullshit.

[Giggles]

He's upset now as I've dissed keeks and ruined his wank tonight.

[Adamski]

I'm not the one absolutely seething about not being invited to a WhatsApp group, bro.

[Magic]

That's for me. It normally is anyway.

Pahaha.

[Offshore Toon]

Get them to sign up on here, Scouse. We could use some young blood after the prodigy AD chose girls over the community.

[Giggles]

I'm not the one absolutely seething about not being invited to a WhatsApp group, bro.

Ah the other thread was his focus indeed. He'll be ok dear, don't worry.

[Spoonsky]

I've been the youngest on TTH since the time I started posting, think I'll have an identity crisis if you get another kid in.

[Magic]

I've been the youngest on TTH since the time I started posting, think I'll have an identity crisis if you get another kid in.

At 43 you'll still be the youngest. :(

[Offshore Toon]

How old are you now? Aren't you meant to be at university?

[Spoonsky]

I'm 19, and yes.

[Giggles]

You post like you're 57 if it helps.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When I first posted regularly on here I was 14-15 and people thought I was in my thirties. Now I'm 2 years from actually being in my thirties and probably a worse poster. Oh well.

[Giggles]

I think you're better than to ever were.

[Offshore Toon]

You gonna go to uni in the UK? Or do I remember you saying that idea is dead?

[Offshore Toon]

I think I started posting on here at 15 too. BTRB was lolling at a Wullie post on Ventrilo/Teamspeak and it all went from there.

[Spoonsky]

The idea is dead, but I've compromised by going to uni in Canada next year.


When I first posted regularly on here I was 14-15 and people thought I was in my thirties. Now I'm 2 years from actually being in my thirties and probably a worse poster. Oh well.

Is TTH to blame for us being prematurely in our fifties? Yeah, it has to be. Missed Waff out somehow.

[Lewis]

The sixteen year olds who post like adults are always suspect. Spoonsky at least had his pleb moments.

[Mazuuurk]

I started in 2005 as far as I know, so I must've been about 18 or so.

[Spoonsky]

@Hulls_Tiger

[Mellberg]

One of the benefits of being OLD GUARD. Have seen almost everyone post a load of shit as they learn the ropes.

Including me, but it's mainly forgotten about.

[Kikó]

I started in 03 so that means I was coming up to 16. Decreased in quality but increased in smugness.

[Lewis]

I won The TTH World Cup and Mod Idol (such a great idea) in my rookie year, as well as getting on the Best Poster podium, so I was quality straight from the off.

[phonics]

I was 13 when I started posting, got torn to shreds so hard that I didn't come back for a few months only to further cement myself as a pleb on my return. To the point I asked Yevrah (I think, although that seems too late, maybe it was WWW as I thought of them both as ginger) if it was okay to start under a different account but it got found out after about 3 days so I went back.

If only I could apply the same non-stop inanity to the modern day internet, I'd have a badass patreon by now.

[randomlegend]

I was about 12 and my first TTH thread was about how big some potatoes we had were.

[Shindig]

2002? I think. We've been through a couple of purges since then so the date's not entirely fresh. That's a long time. Best not to think about it, really.

[ScousePig]

The police had four complaints that night in our area from the same group of kids. They came round and we know a couple of the children's names now, as well as their school. The police are going in next Tuesday, and they know a few of them quite well, and there are pictures of them in their branch. They've told my neighbour that once they know for certain where the children live, they can go round and threaten their parents with eviction based on it being council property and the children causing offences.

They advised me to keep filming to gather any evidence, as well as allowing them to identify them all. There's a couple of disused warehouses down the road so I went down to have a look. They were in the yard so I filmed them for a couple of minutes.

[Boydy]

Getting some poor fuckers kicked out of their home because you're worried about some kids hanging about near your car. You bastard. :nono:

[Giggles]

Getting some poor fuckers kicked out of their home because you're worried about some kids hanging about near your car. You bastard. :nono:

Hanging about? Can't you read?

[Offshore Toon]

They'll be hanging soon enough if Scouse takes Giggles' advice.

[Spikey M]

What manner of fucking shit hole do you live in Scouse? Is the clue in your name?

[Lewis]

I would love to get into a petty neighbourhood feud and go well overboard with it all, like that woman who painted stripes on her mega-million London house to ruin the street for the wankers who objected to her cellar plans.

[Disco]

She should have taken inspiration from all the Russians in London who simply start digging giant gulags in their basement without asking anyone.

[ScousePig]

What manner of fucking shit hole do you live in Scouse? Is the clue in your name?

I live In Leeds, just round the corner from a council estate. Surely what I'm suggesting isn't that uncommon?

[Spikey M]

Dunno, I've not experienced it and I lived on a Council Estate for most of my teenage years.

[Shindig]

I can only assume Pinhead and Crew (tm) were the ones causing bother round his area.

[Spammer]

I'm an idiot

[phonics]

Yep you're banned. Once was a bad joke, twice is being a cunt. See you in a week.

[Lewis]

Did he shag another tranny?

[phonics]

Posting spoilers to films that aren't out yet in his stupid image.

PS. Hammer, as I know you're probably reading this. Do it again and it's a year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

All downhill when he outed himself as a dog fucker.

[Giggles]

I missed it.

Still, Hammer :cool:

[Magic]

People who say they 'love' gin because they tried a flavoured gin liqueur with a tonne of lemonade. :sick:

[igor_balis]

My mate told me he "loved whisky" then it turned out he meant bourbon and coke. I took the piss, but in a self-deprecating way that acknowledged I was being a cunt. My default way of saying anything tbh.

[Magic]

Maybe he meant 'whiskey' and you were just being a genuine cunt.

[Giggles]

Gin has been taken over by cunts now anyway.

[Magic]

Gin has been taken over by cunts now anyway.

I'd largely agree with this, but the old school 'Bombay Sapphire/Gordons' drinkers are also horrific cunts.

[igor_balis]

The worst is how it appears in the dating profiles of middle-class bimbos. Interests: gin, tea, cupcakes! Ahhh so quirky!!!

[Boydy]

The worst is how it appears in the dating profiles of middle-class bimbos. Interests: gin, tea, cupcakes! Ahhh so quirky!!!

:D

So true.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I keep seeing 'gin bars' trailed in shit areas. Isn't every bar a gin bar?

[Adamski]

We have a couple that are predominantly gin or have a very extensive range. Same with whisky.

[Magic]

I've been to a few pubs that sell about 30odd gins but I've never been to a gin bar. It does sound quite horrendous tbf.

Allison Arms is dece place to get gin, and they are all mostly the same price too.

[Kikó]

Gin and tonic is great and we should embrace it. It's a great drink in a massive bowl cup with Ice and cucumber.

[Disco]

I've been without my second monitor since yesterday morning and will be until a new one arrives tomorrow, it's surprisingly annoying.

[Magic]

Cheers Foe.

[Disco]

I don't know what that means.

Back in business now though. :cool:

[John]

Foe set up two televisions of the same make and model then couldn't understand why one remote control operated both.

[Disco]

Fucking hell :D

It's tempting, the new one is a slightly different model to the other one and it was only £170. Bit much to spend simply to service my ocd though.

[igor_balis]

Deffo shouldn't have fucked off the beard. I didn't get one until I was about 22 and now I've remembered why - it is currently at the point where it'll itch like a fucking bastard for about 4 days, and for years when I considered growing it I pussied out at this stage.

[Offshore Toon]

I either have to keep it short or long (and look like a tramp) cause I get ingrown hairs rather easily.

[igor_balis]

snap

[igor_balis]

i actually had an ingrown hair on my cock, recently...:uhoh:

[Spikey M]

£10 on it being a wart.

[igor_balis]

it was a gummi bear

[Magic]

Foe set up two televisions of the same make and model then couldn't understand why one remote control operated both.

I missed that bit. :D

[Foe]

Not entirely true though. I realised immediately why it was doing it, but didn't anticipate the issue before hand which was probably the key problem. :moop:

[Giggles]

How did you remedy it in the end?

[Smiffy]

Wouldn't it be as simple as putting your hand in front of the remote control so it only hits on TV?

[ScousePig]

Some kids have damaged a car in the new estate across the road. Seems like they're bothering those more than they are us. We haven't had any issues since last week when I videoed them and the police came round.

We've been speaking to a few of the residents in the new houses. The kids were filmed damaging the car. A police van came along and took them away, so hopefully that will be the end of that for a while.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Murder would be easier.

[ScousePig]

I'm not sure I recognised these. There were 6 of them and no doubt acquiantances of the others though, and hanging around in the same area.

[Magic]

Some kids have damaged a car in the new estate across the road. Seems like they're bothering those more than they are us. We haven't had any issues since last week when I videoed them and the police came round.

We've been speaking to a few of the residents in the new houses. The kids were filmed damaging the car. A police van came along and took them away, so hopefully that will be the end of that for a while.

Leave them alone for fuck sake.

[Giggles]

Leave them alone for fuck sake.

You're part of todays problem.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have the same problem in our town. I spoke to a PCSO the other day, he was a proper David Brent type figure.

I don't take any BS from them. I say to them, listen, I could get you nicked if I wanted. But then I found one of them having a dump! In public! No respect.

I don't mind a bit of criminal damage and public disorder if it generates that sort of PCSO based comedy.

[Shindig]

"Stop. You can't do that. I mean, you're doing it so I guess I'll have to wait for you to finish. But I'm writing ALL OF THIS DOWN!"

Late Shift. Coming home when the sun's down and realising you've got bugger all time to play with before hitting bed.

[Offshore Toon]

Why does the BBC require its own app to play videos?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Corporate control.

[Shindig]

Big data.

[Giggles]

Because, judging by iPlayer, their software department is incompetent.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Adamski]

Pay a guy episode 295.

[Magic]

I think I found Giggles' idea of hell today. In St Andrews there were buses waiting to take students somewhere, the queues of utterly cretinous clowns wearing bow ties, trousers that were too short, just utter wankery. If God decides to send him to hell, it will be there.

[Disco]

Creosote on decking? It's ok to step out of the 1940's whenever you're ready.

[Smiffy]

Am I missing something, Disco?

[Disco]

It's the specks that splash back at you, get it in the eye all the time, blinded and in pain, irritated due to it being such a pointless fucking exercise but hey ho, needs must.

This isn't reason enough?

[Giggles]

I think I found Giggles' idea of hell today. In St Andrews there were buses waiting to take students somewhere, the queues of utterly cretinous clowns wearing bow ties, trousers that were too short, just utter wankery. If God decides to send him to hell, it will be there.

Scotland? True dat.

[Smiffy]

What was the alternative other than leave it looking a mess?

[phonics]

Why does the BBC require its own app to play videos?

Video is banned outside the UK. It's to stop us lot.

[Disco]

What was the alternative other than leave it looking a mess?

These days some kind of oil but I don't know if it would work very well over the top of creosote.

[Magic]

Good start today. Opened my spec case for my glasses once I'd got to the airport car park and one of the legs had come off. So I'm basically blind at night as I've got my prescription sunglasses with me. Thank god I opened to look otherwise I'd have been proper blind.

Also queued for ages at Nero in the airport only to find they are only accepting cash. :moop:

[Giggles]

Good start today. Opened my spec case for my glasses once I'd got to the airport car park and one of the legs had come off. So I'm basically blind at night as I've got my prescription sunglasses with me. Thank god I opened to look otherwise I'd have been proper blind.

Also queued for ages at Nero in the airport only to find they are only accepting cash. :moop:

Anywhere that only accepts cash in this day and age should automatically be closed until they sort themselves out.

[Adamski]

I'm almost at the stage where I hate you if you don't accept Apple Pay.

[Giggles]

Too many mongs working in shops for mobile payments to become a proper useful thing. The look of shock on their faces when they think you're trying to rob all their money with your phone.

[Pepe]

Academic conferences. Might be enough to push me off academia, no way I can stand doing this on a regular basis.

[Spammer]

I missed it.

Still, Hammer :cool:

:cool:

Edit: New page :cool:

[Magic]

Does anyone know if the super high quality super slow mo of the guy getting shot in the face with a shotgun is real? If so it's pretty awesome.

[Raoul Duke]

You should probably reassess your life

[Smiffy]

You're such a weirdo, Magic. You're a bad news story waiting to happen. At some point fantasy will become reality.

[igor_balis]

Went for a meal with 2 old work colleagues. One an obvious oddball who I hated at first but grew to really like despite his utterly deranged approach to social protocol and the world in general, and I've stayed pretty good friends with him. Other guy I never really kept in contact with, but I always thought he was a really cool, down to earth kind of guy so was quite happy to catch up. After the meal we went for a drink, and he ordered some fancy gin drink, but as the barman started pouring into the big chalice thing he angrily told him to stop, and insisted he put it in a regular straight glass.

When oddball colleague asked him why, he said "uh, well, I don't want anyone to see me drinking out of a girly glass like this, what if you took a photo and people at the office saw?"

Chose this thread cus it is a remarkably petty thing for me to judge him on, but after that I can't help but just think he's a total fucking twat. Mate, you ordered a fancy girly drink - own it. He's nearly 40 as well ffs.

[John]

You should have taken a photo and then captioned it with a detailed description of exactly what he was drinking and what sort of glass it should have been in.

[niko_cee]

Poor sod probably just wanted a G&T.

[igor_balis]

in fairness those big chalice things are quite cumbersome and annoying to drink out of, but when he revealed as a nearly 40 year old man he didn't want keith at the office to call him a fanny or something i internally lost all respect

[igor_balis]

Poor sod probably just wanted a G&T.

nah he specifically asked for rhubarb gin and ginger beer

[niko_cee]

So his crime was specifying a type of gin?

Bring forth the chalice!

[Shindig]

Just own that shit.

[igor_balis]

lads I have no problem with him getting some fancy drink nor even having it in whatever glass he wanted, it was more the fact that he didn't want people to take the piss out of him for drinking it out of a girly glass. do i need to draw you cunts a diagram?

[Lewis]

I knew someone who liked gin and tonics but refused to order them in pubs in case people thought he was a ponce. Meanwhile, he used to slap his girlfriend about.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rhubarb gin :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lads I have no problem with him getting some fancy drink nor even having it in whatever glass he wanted, it was more the fact that he didn't want people to take the piss out of him for drinking it out of a girly glass. do i need to draw you cunts a diagram?

I'd love a diagram tbh.

[Offshore Toon]

Amaretto and cranberry juice. :drool: Tastes like Mr. Kipling's.

[Pepe]

When we go to one of the bars in here my gf always orders some cocktail, can't remember what it is but it is some hard looking drink. I opt for the ice cream martini. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So I was left my Dad's rolex in his will but 'the bitch' has been refusing to give it over and it seemed like I would never get it, so I told my solicitor.

After a while of chasing it up and 'the bitch' seething at the extra cost I've added she agreed to give it over but not until everything else is sorted out a bit more. She finally dropped it off during the week at my brother's and he gave it to me yesterday.

It's not his rolex, it's the one that my Dad bought for my Mum and she obviously thought I wouldn't realise :moop:

http://www.watchfinder.co.uk/Rolex/Day-Date/18238/3504/item/75815?gclid=CjwKEAjwlpbIBRCx4eT8l9W26igSJAAuQ_HGYv iOVTs4VhwPGQplIMjzVX0IG1XSv21_CU87NjULWBoCF7nw_wcB

That is his watch and the watch I was given has a black face with Roman numerals and a tiny bracelet.

[Lewis]

She gave the actual one to your solicitor as an engagement present.

[Shindig]

Does this watch have magic powers?

[igor_balis]

Mahow's watch, like Bernard's watch but with more rape.

[igor_balis]

actually that was a bit much, sorry

[Foe]

So I was left my Dad's rolex in his will but 'the bitch' has been refusing to give it over and it seemed like I would never get it, so I told my solicitor.

After a while of chasing it up and 'the bitch' seething at the extra cost I've added she agreed to give it over but not until everything else is sorted out a bit more. She finally dropped it off during the week at my brother's and he gave it to me yesterday.

It's not his rolex, it's the one that my Dad bought for my Mum and she obviously thought I wouldn't realise :moop:

http://www.watchfinder.co.uk/Rolex/Day-Date/18238/3504/item/75815?gclid=CjwKEAjwlpbIBRCx4eT8l9W26igSJAAuQ_HGYv iOVTs4VhwPGQplIMjzVX0IG1XSv21_CU87NjULWBoCF7nw_wcB

That is his watch and the watch I was given has a black face with Roman numerals and a tiny bracelet.

That has to be on very rocky legal grounds from her. I'd go back to your solicitor. What she's done sounds a bit like fraud.

Fuck her.

[Disco]

Yeah, what did Bernard ever do to you?

[Shindig]

Mahow's watch, like Bernard's watch but with more rape.

I can only hope he never grew up. And that kid that was in Woof.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That has to be on very rocky legal grounds from her. I'd go back to your solicitor. What she's done sounds a bit like fraud.

Fuck her.

I'm going to threaten her with going back to the solicitor route to try and save some money. It's such a shambles.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Lewis]

Mahow's watch, like Bernard's watch but with more rape.

He rapes them in normal time, but uses the watch to clean his sweat up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She's now claiming that she hasn't seen the actual watch for years and reckons my Dad probably sold it before he died.

I thing had she came out and said that as she was handing it over it would have looked better. Saying nothing shows that she was trying to pull a fast one.

I think I might have to threaten to take her to court or ask for £10k in compensation which would force her hand.

[Magic]

He rapes them in normal time, but uses the watch to clean his sweat up.

Wow. Just...wow.

[Magic]

People who use read reciepts on their emails. Seriously, just fuck off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Phone calls are worse than most debilitating diseases though.

[SvN]

Moving to GMail means I never even get notified that there's a read receipt on the email.

[Disco]

Agreed, email all the way.

[Kikó]

Emails are convenient but one of the worst ways to communicate. A phone call can sort most things in a fraction of the time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I find phone calls stressful and like I'm putting people on the spot. If I email/text they can consider and respond in their own time.

[Magic]

Emails are convenient but one of the worst ways to communicate. A phone call can sort most things in a fraction of the time.

Emails are good for defacto statements and information. When idiots embark on a huge email chain with thousands of one line questions though...

Being CC'd in is one of the worst.

[leedsrevolution]

When I was working as an advisor I had a week off and came back to 1500 emails. The majority of them urgent and needing replies. Yeah that was literally the worst thing ever. Fuck emails.

[Foe]

I'm a face to face conversation followed up with an email kind of guy.

My face is numb from the dentist earlier, and I'm hungry. Fuck sake.

[Disco]

I often have to impart quite a lot of technical information so emails make it much easier to point at three months later when they haven't listened to any of it.

[Pepe]

I find phone calls stressful and like I'm putting people on the spot.

:D

How do you feel about face to face conversations?

[Giggles]

I detest talking to people on the phone. Even most of my work contacts know they'll get more out of me on Whatsapp at this stage.

Face to face is just a chore, as people are cunts, but it can't be avoided.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've had no Wifi for about 8 hours, seething.

I rang Virgin up as their website said problems in our area were sorted at about 3. They said our house was one of a number which were still being affected (after pissing around with the coaxial cable for 25 minutes) and would take another 2-3 to sort itself out.

I asked for some compensation as well and she said 'oh, sure why not' which annoyed me too.

[Baz]

Speaking of bad internet, mine's the only postcode for about fifteen miles that doesn't have fibre internet. :moop:

[Boydy]

Fuck Sunday nights maaaaaan.

[igor_balis]

ennit

[John]

Scotland assistant manager Mark McGhee has developed a quiz app based on a game he used to play on the team bus, and the news has just devoted maybe three minutes to giving him free advertising. A minute of that time was spent showing him and the reporter passing an iPad back and forward, playing the game.

[Disco]

I bought some oranges from Morrisons and they don't taste very nice but they are very satisfying to peel.

[Offshore Toon]

A bed has been creaking for about three days straight now. I have no idea which room (out of three) it is, either. I've got no choice but to listen to music through my headphones at all times.

[Raoul Duke]

Kudos to the Chinese sex god

[Giggles]

You should live alone.

[igor_balis]

Not REALLY sticking to the remit of the thread because I find it bemusing and a bit funny, but what is it with people showing off their really uninspiring meals on social media?

I know moaning about people instagraming their dinners is a bit of a cliché, but I like to think I'm talking about something quite specific. It is like, shit loads of middle class young ladies (mostly ones who went to the girls grammar school) basically yummy-mummies in training, smugly posting their actually pretty fucking simple meals. Usually vegetarian stuff with some braindead comment like "proves you can still make a delicious and healthy meal without meat!" Well duh, retard.

I just saw this one - "afternoon well spent... healthy bolognese sauce with vegetables too small to see! Delicious and good for you". With a picture of 5 little bowls of chopped up veg. A whole fucking afternoon? Were you chopping them with a fucking butter knife? And why do you need to hide the veg? Last week I saw one which said "Tonight I made naan and dhal from scratch and they were both great. So I think that's worth an post". Is it really, though?

See also: shit sketches and, ugh, poems.

[Kikó]

Unfollow/defriend

[igor_balis]

Though I imagine my newsfeed might be quite skewed, as so many people are dysfunctional freaks like me from single sex grammar schools.

[igor_balis]

Unfollow/defriend

i need to know my enemy

[7om]

Don't lie, you especially love the poems.

[igor_balis]

skaters live and skaters die
but in the end we all get high
so if in life you don't succeed
fuck it all and smoke some weed

[7om]

Maybe not.

[John]

There's one person always posting really terrible looking takeaway food on my newsfeed. Never anything interestingly terrible, just really shoddy and bland looking cheese pizza and chips, and always accompanied by palpable excitement. It always makes me a little sad, that he has so little going on a crap pizza is cause for celebration. There hasn't been much of that recently though, he's been busy going to about eight Glasvegas gigs all over the place.

[Lewis]

I would rather see that poem
Than be Facebook friends with 7om
I bet his profile is just links
To photo albums full of... Relatives

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

His feed will probably be full of him liking food pictures from said relatives.

[7om]

Stop stalking me, Lewis. The DATABASE needs to have boundaries.

[Lewis]

I operate a One Database policy.

[Waffdon]

There's one person always posting really terrible looking takeaway food on my newsfeed. Never anything interestingly terrible, just really shoddy and bland looking cheese pizza and chips, and always accompanied by palpable excitement. It always makes me a little sad, that he has so little going on a crap pizza is cause for celebration. There hasn't been much of that recently though, he's been busy going to about eight Glasvegas gigs all over the place.

I've got exactly the same person but going round Scotland watching The View.

[Raoul Duke]

Lost a pub quiz yesterday on the final question of the final round. Seething :moop:

[igor_balis]

Lost a pub quiz yesterday on the final question of the final round. Seething :moop:

I feel your pain. My little gang of misfits had been going to a quiz for almost a year, always finishing lower mid-table, until one week where we were inspired and lead the whole way through. Until the last round, where we got pegged back and were level with another team. We lost the tiebreaker.

[phonics]

Rod Liddle.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Angel Delight on his foot (or whatever it was).

[7om]

I can't help but think Lewis is actually Rod Liddle in disguise. The writing style and world view is frighteningly similar.

[Lewis]

Rod Liddle is the man.

[phonics]

The man lives in a world of permanent seethe.

[leedsrevolution]

People ordering deserts. There's seven of us and two have ordered deserts. Fuming.

[Giggles]

The people not ordering dessert are the problem.

[leedsrevolution]

Starters > deserts

[Shindig]

My hairline is now officially Dan Roan.

https://tvnewsroom.site/images/news-staff/dan-roan/dan-roan-Image-010.jpg

[Foe]

I ate far too much in short succession and now feel like a balloon. :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Starters > deserts

This.

[Raoul Duke]

Spoken like a true deviant

[Giggles]

This.

Why is it a choice?

[randomlegend]

Some cunt is sat on facebook in the library with the message alert sound going at full volume every few seconds.

[Kikó]

Ask him to turn it off.

[randomlegend]

There's like 50 computers in the room, no idea who it is. I guess I could get up and try following the sound.

[Adamski]

Starters > deserts

Anythings better than eating sand.

[Spammer]

I used to get involved in people's conversations when they talked loudly in the library, as though I'd assumed that I must be a part of the conversation. That worked well.

I'd only do it with ponce students, but it was good.

[Magic]

Savoury > sweet. Only people with mongol palates argue.

[Giggles]

Palate fucks me off.

You eat stuff, you taste it, you either like it or you don't. Stop trying to copy the telly and sound important.

[Adamski]

Do you just mean using the word?

[Giggles]

Do you just mean using the word?

People talking about their palate and other peoples palates. If the word sophisticated is mentioned along with it then they get full wanker points.

[Adamski]

Weird how tickly it is as well eh?

[Giggles]

Weird how tickly it is as well eh?

You're only picking the one definition there.

[Magic]

Palate fucks me off.

You eat stuff, you taste it, you either like it or you don't. Stop trying to copy the telly and sound important.

Ok rather than say all that how about just using palate instead?

[Adamski]

Anyone know the French word for palate?

[Giggles]

1. Roof of mouth
2. Sense of taste.

You really should just come out with the whole point through and save the hassle. Can you only type one sentence at a time?

[Adamski]

Did you just call me Mexican, you cunt?

[Giggles]

Ok, yes.

[Lewis]

As if Magic even has a roof of mouth/sense of taste beyond linking it to how much he wasted on it.

[Magic]

Please don't doubt the sense of taste capabilities of the roof of my mouth.

[Pepe]

Magic could totally tell a Big Mac from a Whopper on a blind taste.

[Spikey M]

Our FUCKING roof needs pointing and apparently our buildings insurance doesn't cover it. Yeah mate, why would buildings insurance cover damage to the fucking building? Thieving cunts. Bang goes our holiday.

[phonics]

Just made an absolutely massive thread on all the stuff going down in the GCC this week. Closed the wrong tab. Fuming. All that content. Gone.