The little things in life that fuck you off

[Toby]

That you meant it only makes it worse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was a clever satire on my having posted something out of character and about sex by posting what appears to be a remorseful statement, but is in fact a pun even more out of character and about sex.

I normally charge £30 an hour for this stuff.

[Dquincy]

Jimmy is one of the last people I thought would rate people for their looks out of 10. Mert-lite.

I thought it added to the story. I can't see these people, so to have some numerical context was very helpful.

It's of course different if you're rating someone who you all know. That's odd.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can't you just have a repeat prescription approved by a pharmacist?

You can ask a pharmacy to control/take care of your repeat prescription.

They will send the repeat slip to the GP, they will sign off on it, send it back to the pharmacist who will have it ready for you a couple of days before your meds run out.

[Toby]

"I'll get these healthy snack bars to try to cut down on biscuits, I'll just put them in the cupboard and have maybe one a da... whoops they're all gone."

Every time. You're better off with chocolate, at least it's satisfying.

[Magic]

Aren't most healthy snackbars in Europe now?

:eyemouth:

[wullie]

Amazon are a bit mad. I ordered three items which were sent out in two goes. One of them is still listed as 'out for delivery' despite the Amazon Logistics chump stuffing it in a neighbouring postbox and allowing me to find it out of a mixture of nosy curiosity and nobody else in the building checking their post ever. The other one was delivered to 'a resident' instead, with no clue as to who that is.

I contacted Amazon to let them know I have 2/3 of the order but not the third, they arranged a replacement for it and said they'd shout angrily at their Logistics rep. The confirmation email told me they were just sending everything again, and when I told them this they basically said 'meh, keep it all'

The ineptitude must cost them as much as they save on tax.

[Boydy]

What did you get?

[CJay]

Be careful what you get yourself into, Wullie.

http://arstechnica.co.uk/information-technology/2016/01/amazon-customer-complains-finds-spiteful-10-inch-dildo-in-his-shopping-basket/

[Magic]

Went down to the barber to get my haircut and was met with a 'CLOSED - Lunch until 1:25'

Tried the barber across the road and was met with a stupid bitch telling me patronisingly as if I couldn't tell by her being a disgusting fat cunt that she was just about to go on lunch too.

Fine, only 20 minutes until my usual opens so I went back after 25 minutes to find it absolutely fucking mobbed? Get to fuck. Binned it.

[wullie]

It was a load of CDs. I didn't really complain and even tried to save them money by telling them ahead of dispatch that I don't need everything sent again, but I'll take a free dildo any day of the week.

[Davgooner]

"I'll get these healthy snack bars to try to cut down on biscuits, I'll just put them in the cupboard and have maybe one a da... whoops they're all gone."

Every time. You're better off with chocolate, at least it's satisfying.

:nod:

Every single fucking time.

[Manc]

Went down to the barber to get my haircut and was met with a 'CLOSED - Lunch until 1:25'

Tried the barber across the road and was met with a stupid bitch telling me patronisingly as if I couldn't tell by her being a disgusting fat cunt that she was just about to go on lunch too.

Fine, only 20 minutes until my usual opens so I went back after 25 minutes to find it absolutely fucking mobbed? Get to fuck. Binned it.

Too risky to give the mrs clippers?

[Sam]

Ungrateful people when I'm cooking for them, complaining at what I'm cooking when they're getting a meal for free and knew what was coming first. Mardy cow.

[Magic]

Fucking lol. I've just spent the past 30 minutes trying to get my old photos off Bebo only to find out that it's been dead in the water since October, according to Twitter (I'm just going off tweets to their support, to which there were no replies).

Fuck my life.

I just got an email reply saying it was discontinued in September 14.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My computer chair situation.

I have one which I got off Gumtree a few years ago. It is monumentally shit and the other week all the fucking wheels kept falling out.

I decided to use duct tape to keep them in place, one just wont fucking comply though and keeps falling out. This has resulted in me almost being flipped off the chair in spectacular fashion at about 4am the other day, luckily I managed to grab onto my desk to prevent anything seriously bad happening. I've also almost stacked it (albeit nowhere near as closely or quite as bad) another 3 or 4 times.

I decided today to use one of the dining room chairs as the computer chair tried to throw me off again today. The bad thing about this chair is the lack of wheels (I like just rolling about), an uncomfortable back and absolutely no padding whatsoever so my arse is on life support right now even though I've added a cushion.

Another 10 days until the chair I ordered from Amazon (why didn't I just go and buy one ffs) arrives :\

[Dquincy]

My computer chair situation.

I have one which I got off Gumtree a few years ago. It is monumentally shit and the other week all the fucking wheels kept falling out.

I decided to use duct tape to keep them in place, one just wont fucking comply though and keeps falling out. This has resulted in me almost being flipped off the chair in spectacular fashion at about 4am the other day, luckily I managed to grab onto my desk to prevent anything seriously bad happening. I've also almost stacked it (albeit nowhere near as closely or quite as bad) another 3 or 4 times.

I decided today to use one of the dining room chairs as the computer chair tried to throw me off again today. The bad thing about this chair is the lack of wheels (I like just rolling about), an uncomfortable back and absolutely no padding whatsoever so my arse is on life support right now even though I've added a cushion.

Another 10 days until the chair I ordered from Amazon (why didn't I just go and buy one ffs) arrives :\

Was it free off gumtree? If so, you can't really complain.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was it free off gumtree? If so, you can't really complain.

It was, I can and I will.

[Dquincy]

It was, I can and I will.

Nah, delete your post you pounce.

[simon]

What happened to the gamer chair? :(

[Giggles]

I always imagined Mahow had some epic setup of a thing complete with cup holders and the works.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What happened to the gamer chair? :(

I used it for about 2 weeks, realised that I hated being so close to the floor so folded it in half (the only decent thing about it) and used it as a bedside table for a few years.

In the end I gave it to my cousin and his kids use it.

[Yevrah]

My brother had a black computer gaming chair that developed 'arm chocolate' over his teenage years.

[Davgooner]

A Question of Sport.

[Yevrah]

A Question of Sport.

Sue Barker is just rubbish on everything she does and that rugby wanker (if he's still on there) is the visual definition of a smug twat.

[Davgooner]

This is the 45th series for fuck sake.

[Magic]

Seinfeld. I hate woody allen so maybe i just hate all narcotic Jewish comedy. Its so forced and unfunny.

Plus he looks like Alan Shearer The 2nd

[Offshore Toon]

Phil Tufnell is the worst thing about it.

EDIT: Seinfeld, that is.

[Mazuuurk]

Plus one for that. Not that I can say I hate Seinfeld, but I just don't get it. It's not at all funny, I think.

I do like many Woody Allen films though. I have a hard time accepting Woody Allen himself, as a person and an actor, mind you.

[Yevrah]

Despite loving Curb Your Enthusiasm I absolutely hated Seinfeld. I don't think it made me laugh once from what I saw of it and the characters were all unlikeable wankers, which may have been the point, but still.

[igor_balis]

I quite liked Seinfeld when I watched it, but it wasn't anywhere near as good as I expected it to be. Incredibly influential and shit, but I think a lot of stuff it influenced is just funnier. Father Ted for one.

The stand-up segments are fucking awful as well.

[Boydy]

Seinfeld. I hate woody allen so maybe i just hate all narcotic Jewish comedy. Its so forced and unfunny.

Plus he looks like Alan Shearer The 2nd

:D

You mean 'neurotic'.

[Magic]

Fuck sake. :(

Been watching too much American cop shit.

[Pepe]

Seinfeld is superb you mongs.

[igor_balis]

https://media.giphy.com/media/4QH3fpxy4VXO/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

[John]

The biggest problem with Seinfeld was that Jerry Seinfeld is incapable of acting. He just wasn't up to it, which makes the whole thing painful.

[Reg]

I tried a couple of episodes recently, really didn't like it. The laugh track is horrible (funnily enough I don't mind laugh tracks on Cheers, Friends and other shows).

Curb Your Enthusiasm is brilliant.

[wullie]

All of those shows were filmed before live audiences rather than using laugh tracks, Cheers in particular started with a disclaimer to say so every episode.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have the same issue with all those stupid American sitcoms from the 90s: how can they afford their swanky flats in downtown New York/Chicago when they NEVER GO TO WORK.

[Disco]

"Who are these people, and why do they have so much time in the middle of the day?"

[-james-]

Seinfeld seasons 5, 6 and 7 are superb. Some of the early and late stuff is quite poor though

Jerry really can't act but the writing saves him. George is one of the best sitcom characters ever though.

[Boydy]

I'd love to go to the filming of a sitcom that's done in front of a live audience. Even a crap one. Just to see how it all works.

[wullie]

Jerry would corpse so much they just ended up leaving most of it in as it's the best they can get from him. On a lot of the blooper reels Michael Richards almost looks like he's getting pissed off with everyone unable to keep it together.

[Magic]

My clown step dad asked me if we wanted to meet him and his fat sister at Sainsburys for breakfast at 9. Cool something to do in the morning I guess. Get here at 9 and the two idiots get out massive lists and start doing a weekly shop.

Fuck me?

[Yevrah]

You've met two people at 9am on Saturday morning to watch them do their weekly shop? Rofl.

[Magic]

Essentially. We had to buy stuff we didn't even need so as not to feel like gawking fuckwits.

[Disco]

And it sounded like such a great outing too.

[Yevrah]

:D

What sort of monster invites people to meet up to do their weekly shop with them?

[Magic]

We did have breakfast eventually...:(

[Boydy]

Even going to Sainsbury's for breakfast sounds shit. Surely there are better options around?

[simon]

And it sounded like such a great outing too.

:D

[Magic]

Even going to Sainsbury's for breakfast sounds shit. Surely there are better options around?

That you can do a weekly shop?

[Disco]

What did you have?

[Magic]

A Big Breakfast and a Latte.

We ended up hunting around for tweasers for the sister so she could probably pluck her vile excess snatch hair. Thankfully we didn't find them.

Also my kid pointed out her spider veins on her face, probably indicating low-level alcoholism.

[Yevrah]

I use the online stuff anyway, but if I did physically go and do a weekly shop in a supermarket I'd want to get the shopping done, home and packed away ASAP, not sit around tossing it off at the Wild Bean Cafe (or whatever the fuck it's called) while my refrigerated and frozen goods defrost into one massive clusterfuck of slushy cardboard.

[Magic]

Why are you implying this was a willful choice?

[Yevrah]

Why are you implying this was a willful choice?

I'm having a go at them, not you.

They're the ISIS minds to your collateral damage - an innocent bystander who was dragged blissfully unaware into this horror.

[Yevrah]

And actually, on a more serious note, did you meet these people through having kids?

The thought of having kids and them making friends with the children of idiots terrifies me. I can't think of much worse than having to sit around at a kids party stone cold sober, being forced to make small talk with morons.

[Magic]

What, my step-dad and his sister? :cab:

[Boydy]

That you can do a weekly shop?

So you knew you were going grocery shopping then?

[Yevrah]

Ah, well obviously not in this case. :D

[Magic]

Fucking hell read the original post you utter mook.

[Disco]

And actually, on a more serious note, did you meet these people through having kids?

The thought of having kids and them making friends with the children of idiots terrifies me. I can't think of much worse than having to sit around at a kids party stone cold sober, being forced to make small talk with morons.

I'm largely convinced that 90% of people you meet after about 30 are wankers by default. Anyway, in my experience there's a perverse pleasure in watching someone slowly regret their decision to let multiple toddlers into their house at the same time so it's not without it's upside.

[Boydy]

Fucking hell read the original post you utter mook.

Is that to me?

In this scenario you either:

a) Didn't know they were planning on doing grocery shopping as well and you just happily went along to a shitty Sainsbury's cafe for breakfast

or

b) Only went to Sainsbury's for breakfast because you were going grocery shopping too.

Either way, you can't really complain.

[igor_balis]

i might go to sainsburys later

[Magic]

A).

I'm afraid to go to organic cafes now in case I'm targeted by Randrew.

[igor_balis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o6HVd5qjB8
Pertinent.

[Boydy]

A).

I'm afraid to go to organic cafes now in case I'm targeted by Randrew.

I was thinking more a decent greasy spoon.

[Dquincy]

Is that to me?

In this scenario you either:

a) Didn't know they were planning on doing grocery shopping as well and you just happily went along to a shitty Sainsbury's cafe for breakfast

or

b) Only went to Sainsbury's for breakfast because you were going grocery shopping too.

Either way, you can't really complain.

He got invited for breakfast, but they didn't tell him they were doing a weekly shop. How fucking hard is that to understand?

[Boydy]

He got invited for breakfast, but they didn't tell him they were doing a weekly shop. How fucking hard is that to understand?

It's not hard to understand. I'm saying that Magic, with his airs and graces, shouldn't have been setting foot in a crap Sainsbury's cafe.

[Magic]

Sometimes you have to sacrifice things for the greater good. Not that I'd expect a selfish libtard to understand that, of course.

[Boydy]

You had vouchers, didn't you?

[Magic]

:D

No, no I did not. You cheeky bastard.

[igor_balis]

Supermarket cafes aren't all that bad. Before they shut it, the Rugby Tesco's cafe did a far better breakfast than most of the greasy spoons in town.

[Boydy]

I used to work in a Tesco one. It was crap. We didn't even do fried eggs at first, only scrambled and they came in a fucking carton. :sick:

Sausages and bacon were also cooked in those microwave oven combination things (more high powered ones than your average home one).

[Magic]

TESCO are phasing their own ones out in Scotland they are being replaced by Dobbies cafes (which TESCO own anyway) and they've massively upped their prices for slightly less mediocre food (not greasy).

I would never choose to go to any sort of supermarket or chain for my food, only independent cafes.

Because I am paying for a family to go to Legoland Windsor, I am paying for dancing lessons, I am paying for cinema trips rather than lining the pockets of a rich, Jewish tax avoiding CEO.

[igor_balis]

Perhaps my judgement was shaped more by the quality of the alternatives. I was also about 11 the last time I ate there.

[Boydy]

The one I worked in was actually run by an outside company (Compass Group). What is great in Tesco though, is the staff canteen. They sell the stuff in there at like cost price. It's so cheap.

[Magic]

That's who Ken Bates sold our catering rights to for 5 years in 2013. IIRC Cellino has since bought that out? (No doubt with a loan from himself to the club with a massive interest rate)

[Dquincy]

Perhaps my judgement was shaped more by the quality of the alternatives. I was also about 11 the last time I ate there.

Don't backtrack young man. You be proud that you like crappy cafes.

[Lewis]

I used to go and get a breakfast in the Tesco cafe some days before university. Do they sell that carton scrambled egg? It was great with half a ton of salt.

[igor_balis]

Don't backtrack young man. You be proud that you like crappy cafes.
Cheers for the support mate. To be honest, I'm pretty snobby about my breakfast foods. Speaking of which, my mother is going to make a big fry up for dinner later, but we don't have any black pudding, and I don't think there's anywhere that sells any in Rugby, except for that 'Bury Black Pudding' shit you get everywhere. Gutting.

[Magic]

Stornoway black pudding. :drool:

[Lewis]

Having a fry-up for tea is perverse.

[Giggles]

Haven't made a good fry in ages. The ones that you get in pubs and cafes here are pretty lame affairs, I prefer an Ulster type one for the breads even though the lack of pudding is disappointing.

[Magic]

The only thing worse than a shit cooked breakfast is a shit 'posh and pretentious' cooked breakfast. :mad:

[igor_balis]

The only thing that fucks me off about some wanky places is their pathetic portion sizes. If I haven't still got indigestion 10 hours later I feel short-changed.

[Giggles]

The only thing that fucks me off about some wanky places is their pathetic portion sizes. If I haven't still got indigestion 10 hours later I feel short-changed.

This. If I go for a fry I want a proper fucking fry.

I think I need to get some stuff and make one in the morning.

[ScousePig]

And actually, on a more serious note, did you meet these people through having kids?

The thought of having kids and them making friends with the children of idiots terrifies me. I can't think of much worse than having to sit around at a kids party stone cold sober, being forced to make small talk with morons.

Choose your kids' school wisely. Though there'll be wankers/morons everywhere.

[Lewis]

Don't people with kids just talk about kids? You could easily sit on the sidelines and wish you were dead.

[Disco]

It depends how young they are, generally the younger the child the more likely the parents are to bore you with descriptions of every shit they've done and how terribly clever they must be.

They're very similar to dreams actually, there's nothing more tedious than someone elses.

[Offshore Toon]

I dunno, some dreams can be pretty funny.

My mate is quite bad when it comes to saying how smart his kid is. He can swipe on an iPad and he knows certain apps are for him, but as much as I love the kid, nothing he does can be described as smart. Aren't you supposed to be able to talk a bit when you're nearly 2? Its like my mum thinks the dog is smart, but he still barks at the ironing board when it isn't being used despite it never doing anything to him. People are ashamed to admit their own might not be the best in the world.

[Offshore Toon]

Shit comedians as talking heads. So fucking irritating.

[Shindig]

"I'm going to comment on this thing solely as a punchline to a joke in the hopes that Channel 4 are watching."

[Toby]

I dunno, some dreams can be pretty funny.

My mate is quite bad when it comes to saying how smart his kid is. He can swipe on an iPad and he knows certain apps are for him, but as much as I love the kid, nothing he does can be described as smart. Aren't you supposed to be able to talk a bit when you're nearly 2? Its like my mum thinks the dog is smart, but he still barks at the ironing board when it isn't being used despite it never doing anything to him. People are ashamed to admit their own might not be the best in the world.

Swiping on an iPad isn't impressive at all, most kids I've seen recently can do at least that, and probably slip ads and make videos full screen on YouTube. If he's not talking properly yet he sounds pretty far behind the curve.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, I've heard quite a few people big up that their child can use an iPad. He actually sent me a video of the kid tonight laughing loads whilst being read a book, and it was alright, but very similar to other ones. My reaction clearly wasn't good enough because a minute or so after my reply I got back "you well hate me sending videos of [kid] aye". He's being a fucking bitch at the moment.

That leads me onto another thing that fucks me off: using 'stress' as an excuse for being a twat. Having children, a new job, organising a wedding - these are all things that you chose to do, so don't use them as an excuse to act like a wanker. Just because you share your problems like a little girl doesn't mean that other people don't have any, but they at least have the decent to keep it to themselves.

[Shindig]

Smoke alarms powered by the mains which decide to beep intermittently for no fucking reason.

[ItalAussie]

It depends how young they are, generally the younger the child the more likely the parents are to bore you with descriptions of every shit they've done and how terribly clever they must be.

They're very similar to dreams actually, there's nothing more tedious than someone elses.

One of my friends has decided that his kid probably isn't very clever at all, which is something I don't think I've ever heard a young parent say. :D

[igor_balis]

Having eyes bigger than my stomach whenever I go out to eat. Went for a fucking thali, 2 pints of kingfisher and a couple of pints in the pub afterwards and now I feel like I've eaten 64 slices of american cheese.

[Toby]

Smoke alarms powered by the mains which decide to beep intermittently for no fucking reason.

They'll have a backup battery in case of power cuts and the beeping probably means it is (nearly) dead.

[TG09]

People that wear sun glasses in shops/Supermarkets/gyms etc.. you are inside a building you do not need them on.

[TG09]

They'll have a backup battery in case of power cuts and the beeping probably means it is (nearly) dead.

Yep that it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

People that wear sun glasses in shops/Supermarkets/gyms etc.. you are inside a building you do not need them on.

They might be blind mate.

[TG09]

They might be blind mate.

If they have a white stick or a dog, then its ok :dc:

[mugbull]

Where are you from originally, TG09?

[TG09]

Where are you from originally, TG09?

Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire. Moved to NZ in 2008

[Shindig]

They'll have a backup battery in case of power cuts and the beeping probably means it is (nearly) dead.

I gave it a hoover and it shut up. Apparently dust and debris is a factor.

[ScousePig]

That leads me onto another thing that fucks me off: using 'stress' as an excuse for being a twat. Having children, a new job, organising a wedding - these are all things that you chose to do, so don't use them as an excuse to act like a wanker. Just because you share your problems like a little girl doesn't mean that other people don't have any, but they at least have the decent to keep it to themselves.

By 'keep it to themselves' do you mean not going around announcing it to the people they know, or not going to see a professional? Because if it's the latter it's a daft statement. And those things you've mentioned are just part of life, and if they end up causing you stress, so be it. You can't not do them because they might cause stress and end up turning you into a wanker at times.

I may be barking up the wrong tree though.

[Magic]

How are they acting like a wanker?

[Magic]

I have to pay £22 per term for 'snacktime' at nursery. As if my taxes weren't enough, shower of pricks.

[SvN]

What's that, about 35p per day?

[Magic]

I've no idea, but you're missing the point.

[SvN]

Were you fed at nursery? I think I had a tiny carton of milk.

[phonics]

We used to get milk, I vommed everywhere during break time once :cool:

[Magic]

Were you fed at nursery? I think I had a tiny carton of milk.

I can't remember, but there was no way my parents paid for it. #austerity

[Chrissy]

I have to pay £22 per term for 'snacktime' at nursery. As if my taxes weren't enough, shower of pricks.

Nursery fees are a joke. It is essentially glorified babysitting with "play" at that age. Before anyone objects, I did a stint "teaching" in a nursery school as part of my degree. It's all structured/unstructured play/stories, "stop painting the walls with your shite Johnny" experiences.

[Magic]

Well yesterday Emily wanted a haircut so A was more than happy to oblige, but it didn't work because the scissors weren't sharp enough (toy ones), so Emily told her gran who made a snide comment about A 'trying to be a hairdresser' in that whole 'say it in a childish voice but really you're saying I'm a cunt eh!' but it wasn't me it was Grandad that picked her up. Then Molly said she didn't want to be As friend so she walloped her, but Amelia is lovely and wants to be my friend so she's the best.

It was like listening to fucking Vicki Pollard. Was waiting for the whole 'Yeah and Lizzy Stevenson got fingered by Jamie Goodall behind the climbing frame'.

[Magic]

Also fucking lol my step-dad's sister works as a nursery 'teacher' but in a deprived ethnic area, so most of the kids are Islamics. She'd come back to work in the afternoon as she does the afternoon kids, to see a bunch of new termers with name tags on saying 'Safe'. So she was going about called these kids 'Saf-ay' thinking it was their name but it was actually the word of the week, 'Safe'.

:face:

[Toby]

I'm not normally one to rail against 'SJWs' but somebody audibly sighed at me when I said "that would make them a criminal" in relation to a hypothetical person committing a criminal act. Roll on, "so commit one crime and you're a criminal forever?" from somebody who simply doesn't have a good enough grasp of the English language.

[Lewis]

My mother made me some birthday buns for tomorrow, and I insisted on doing the icing myself because I like icing and wanted loads of icing, and also because my life is tragic. I made chocolate icing, and when asked how I was getting on I said 'It's nice, it just looks like shit'. Since then I've spent somewhere between twenty minutes and my entire life explaining the difference between 'looks like shit' (meaning literally looks like poo because it's brown) and 'I've fucked it up mother you were right I can't be trusted with butter and sugar' (meaning tastes like shit). Three year olds would get this, you twat.

[Disco]

Your life really is an episode of Sorry.

[Offshore Toon]

By 'keep it to themselves' do you mean not going around announcing it to the people they know, or not going to see a professional? Because if it's the latter it's a daft statement. And those things you've mentioned are just part of life, and if they end up causing you stress, so be it. You can't not do them because they might cause stress and end up turning you into a wanker at times.

I may be barking up the wrong tree though.
It wasn't the latter at all. More people need to do that.

[Manc]

Happy birthday, Lolwis.

[Lewis]

Twenty-eight, or 'not as old as Pepe'.

[Baz]

Aww, twinsies! :gay:

[Boydy]

Happy birthday.

[7om]

Happy birthday, you miserable wanker.

[Magic]

Seething Luca got his own thread.

This just looks like Lewbear's birthday fucks us off.

[ScousePig]

It wasn't the latter at all. More people need to do that.

I didn't think it was but decided to roll with it anyway. You do get people of that viewpoint.

[John]

I had nothing to do before eleven o'clock Thursday and yesterday, so the council twats removing some trees up the road from eight every morning have been a right pain in the arse. I hoped they were finished or taking the weekend off when it turned eight this morning and all was quiet, but the fuckers were just late and pitched up at half eight.

Had they been ditching some ugly bastards that were getting in the way I wouldn't have minded, but they were two properly huge, old things that I climbed when I was younger and they stood on the grounds of a community centre. It's Bruce and his shithouse sawmill job all over again.

http://i68.tinypic.com/iee0pe.png

There's another one just to the right of that one, hidden from that angle by a pathetic little thing that was closer to the camera. The house is there for reference, it's a two storey job. I might go and hide their tools.

[The Bruce]

I left the sawmill last year so can't blame this on me I'm afraid. :thbup:

The council up here are cutting down all of my childhood climbing tree too for what its worth, we need to organise a resistance?

[Boydy]

Anyone remember that idiot 18 year old cousin of mine I posted about before? The one I was supposed to 'tutor' a bit for his AS and A levels only he wouldn't read a fucking book or do any work. And who also wants to be a politician. The one I posted about at Christmas who's really quite selfish as well.

He got engaged on New Year's to his girlfriend of six months. He's still in school, in upper sixth. Fucking idiot.

Was talking about it earlier with my folks and my dad said he was 'cuntstruck'. :D

I've been laughing at that for about twenty minutes now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cuntstruck is amazing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I just ate of the many whole chillies in my garlic chilli chicken.

Instantly got spice hiccups and the cunt kept building in heat.

Christ that was a bad idea.

[phonics]

Was a bit too forceful in scratching my nut sack and now feel like someones lightly tapped me in the bollocks.

[Magic]

Anyone remember that idiot 18 year old cousin of mine I posted about before? The one I was supposed to 'tutor' a bit for his AS and A levels only he wouldn't read a fucking book or do any work. And who also wants to be a politician. The one I posted about at Christmas who's really quite selfish as well.

He got engaged on New Year's to his girlfriend of six months. He's still in school, in upper sixth. Fucking idiot.

Was talking about it earlier with my folks and my dad said he was 'cuntstruck'. :D

I've been laughing at that for about twenty minutes now.

It's elevated through several levels because it came from your old man.

[Pepe]

Magic Mk 2 init?

[Yevrah]

Boydy's dad. :cool:

[Shindig]

I need to work that into Monday's training session.

[Boydy]

The reaction from my mum was great too.

'Ugh, don't be so vulgar.'
'Well he is!'

While I just stood and giggled.

[Magic]

Was he fingering her snatch too?

[Boydy]

What is wrong with you.

[Lewis]

I don't think we should let this overshadow Mahow's story, which is thrilling and hilarious in its own right.

[Manc]

Amazon are tossers. Got a "sorry we missed you" email about an hour ago. I've been up since 8am, not a single call on my phone or for the flat. Now I've got to wait till tomorrow. Snide cunts.

[Boydy]

Anyone remember that idiot 18 year old cousin of mine I posted about before? The one I was supposed to 'tutor' a bit for his AS and A levels only he wouldn't read a fucking book or do any work. And who also wants to be a politician. The one I posted about at Christmas who's really quite selfish as well.

He got engaged on New Year's to his girlfriend of six months. He's still in school, in upper sixth. Fucking idiot.

Was talking about it earlier with my folks and my dad said he was 'cuntstruck'. :D

I've been laughing at that for about twenty minutes now.
This fucking wanker was meant to take his mum up to the airport to pick up the car his stepdad had left there. He'd agreed to it earlier in the day then fucked off out with his 'fiancée' and texted his mum saying he won't be back in time so get someone else to do it. I'm now doing it. I don't really mind doing it, I'm just annoyed at his selfishness.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Disco]

What were you wearing, clogs?

[Smiffy]

.....

[Lewis]

This fucking wanker was meant to take his mum up to the airport to pick up the car his stepdad had left there. He'd agreed to it earlier in the day then fucked off out with his 'fiancée' and texted his mum saying he won't be back in time so get someone else to do it. I'm now doing it. I don't really mind doing it, I'm just annoyed at his selfishness.

We should put some sort of TTH Anti-Family together. Magic's in-laws, your cousin, my brother, Lofty's old man, whoever gave Floyd his hairline... I'm not sure what they would all do. Probably go for shit meals that my brother can criticise for the sake of it.

[Raoul Duke]

Who's the guy with the batshit crazy Liverpool-fan brother? (not Mike, someone else).

[SvN]

Lewis, isn't it?

[CJay]

Randrew.

[Toby]

Randrew.

[Giggles]

I know I've asked this before but who is Randrew? Foe?

[randomlegend]

Randomlegend + Andrew (my name) = Randrew

EDIT: My name is actually Andy, nobody calls me Andrew.

[Toby]

As you wish, Randy.

[Magic]

We should put some sort of TTH Anti-Family together. Magic's in-laws, your cousin, my brother, Lofty's old man, whoever gave Floyd his hairline... I'm not sure what they would all do. Probably go for shit meals that my brother can criticise for the sake of it.

Somewhere a bit posh and different from the norm...like a Harvester.

:sick:

[randomlegend]

Lewis tried to get that going before. Perhaps you'll have more success.

[Raoul Duke]

Is your bro still a quadraspazzed mongtard?

[randomlegend]

Somewhere a bit posh and different from the norm...like a Harvester.

:sick:

Harvester :sick:

[Magic]

Cheers Randy.

[randomlegend]

Is your bro still a quadraspazzed mongtard?

He doesn't live at home any more so I don't get to witness his majestically retarded behaviour so often. He's honestly not been as bad the last few times I've seen him (relatively speaking).

[Baz]

Been having an argument over O2 Live Chat for a few minutes now. S/he is just fucking thick. :mad:

[Baz]

Who's being thick here? Like I know I didn't buy the phone through my contract, but he was being a proper cunt.

O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Hello, it's O2 Guru – Pushpanjali here. I hope you're well. What can I do for you?
Baz : Hi. I bought my phone years ago now from the o2 shop. It's an iphone 4S that I bought outright. could you tell me if it's locked to o2?
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Baz, all O2 phone which purchased from O2 is locked with O2 network.
Baz : Can I please get it unlocked?
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Have you purcahsed it in contract or as a SIM free phone?
Baz : SIM free.
Baz : I paid £499.99
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Then it'll unlock it in pay and go and unlocking fees should be £15 and you need to register any pay and go number with this phone.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Let me explain you with the whole process to get it unlock.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : You need to registered any pay and go number with this phone. To register your mobile number to the iPhone please insert the O2 Pay & Go SIM card in it top-up with more than £15 and make a chargeable call from UK. Also you need to insert your Pay & Go SIM card in your iPhone for at least 24 hours after making calls. There is a one off charge of £15 for unlocking. Once you have made a chargeable call please contact us after 24 hours and we'll help you with the unlocking.
Baz : I've been using the phone for almost 4 years with my O2 SIM only pay-monthly deal
Baz : It's not a pay and go sim.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Baz, all SIM free phone will unlock with pay and go, contract phone is difference and it should be purchase on same contract, then it'll unlock, if you purcahsed as a SIM free phone then it'll unlock in pay and go and unlocking fees should be £15
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : It's clearly mentioned in our webiste.
Baz : "If you're a Pay Monthly customer, then you can unlock your iPhone at any time, for free. This doesn't affect your contract though – you'll still need to see out the rest of"
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Please check this link : http://www.o2.co.uk/help/phones-and-devices/unlocking-your-iphone-and-using-it-on-another-network#qs
Baz : I've just requested the unlock on the websit
Baz : We'll process the request within 10 days and will contact you by text or email to tell you what to do next.
Baz : for free. no mention of the £15 you're asking me for.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Baz, but you've not purcahsed it in contract, you've purcahsed it as a SIM free phone as you said.
Baz : yes, but i have an o2 pay monthly contract
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Please check the above link.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : But, you've not purcahsed this phone in contract.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Try to understand that which phone purchase in contract then we can unlock it free but if you purchase it as a SIM free phone then it'll unlock in pay and go and unlocking fees should be £15.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : There is 2 type of contract, which is SIM only contract and another is phone contract.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : So id you've phone contract then phone will unlock free.
Baz : Butit's still listed in My O2 as "Pay Monthly," not Pay & Go.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : If you've SIM only deal and you've purchase phone as a SIM free ( not in contract) then it'll unlock in pay and go.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Baz, are you not reading my text?
Baz : and the link you provided states if youre a pay monhtly customer it's free. if you're pay and go (ie you top up by paying cash when credit runs out) it's £15. so surely it's free for me? I pay £22 every month.
Baz : yes I am reading what you're saying but I'm also reading what your link says and it's different
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Let me check your account and then I'll help you with the details.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali :
Can I just confirm your full name & mobile number you're contacting us about?

Baz : Baz Awesome : 0********9
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Have you purchase this phone in this contract?
Baz : Nope. I paid £500 for it in 2012.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Then how can we unlock this phone is it is not purchase this phone in contract??
Baz : But you could for £15?
Baz : I've already submitted the unlock request on My O2. Would it not have said it wasn't possible, if it wasn't possible?
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : You can try but I'll like to tell you might be it'll get rejected, because this is not a contract phone.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Are you the account holder?
Baz : Yes
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Great, Thanks for confirming.
Can you tell me the 1st & 3rd characters of your security answer please?
Baz : * & *
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Thanks for the security checks.
Baz : It says I'll be notified within 10 days. Does it usually take the full 10 days?
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Baz, I can see that you've purchase this contract as a SIM deal, there is no phone in this contract.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : So it'll not unlock it in pay monthly.
Baz : I'll take my chances.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Okay,
Baz : It says I'll be contacted by text OR email. Will it be both?
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Yes you'll get both.
Baz : Okay. thanks for your help.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : Thanks for being very patience and kind understanding.
O2 Guru – Pushpanjali : You're most welcome.

It was lovely and pleasant chatting with you. Have a great day ahead.Take care & Bye bye :)

When he bolded that text I could've hit him.

[wullie]

I'd be amazed if you get either a text or an email, the live chat seems useless. On the O2 forum one of their own mods told me not to bother with it any more and just ring up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You should have invited Pushpanjali to the forum.

[Pepe]

I thought he was a bit pushy to be honest.

[wullie]

Max was a knob when I did it


MAX: Sure, everything has been forwarded to the concerned team.

MAX: Result will be in positive.

MAX: You can take this chat as confirmation

Not a fucking peep.

[SvN]

I tried to unlock my brothers phone from Three. I had about 6 failed unlock codes and gave up and bought one for about £8.

[John]

Reading between the lines there, it sounds like you bought the phone and put a sim card you already had into it, is that right?

If so, you're both being thick. You for not explaining yourself properly, and him for parroting the same stuff constantly.

[wullie]

When I phoned up Mohammed sorted my issue out immediately. If I asked him to publicly denounce the Paris attacks he probably would have done that too.

[randomlegend]

I thought sim free phones were already unlocked.

[Baz]

Me too.

I was just majorly pissed off to start with cos I opened my new iD (carphone warehouse) SIM card with such glee, put it in my phone and then realised it might not be unlocked to work with other networks.

I rang and spoke to someone at ID who said to leave it in for 24 hours and the "SIM card invalid" message will hopefully disappear. Can't not have my phone for 24 hours though, cos I use it for sat nav. Close to fucking it all off and carrying on as I am. But even that's effort cos I've set up the new direct debit. Wouldn't mind if my phone wasn't already a bashed up 4 year old piece of shit.

[Baz]

Just had an e-mail from O2 saying my phone is now unlocked. Fuck you, Pushpanjali.

[Magic]

Apple software locks the phone to the first SIM that goes in it. UNLESS it's bought from Apple direct.

How this is legal I'll never know.

[Giggles]

Just had an e-mail from O2 saying my phone is now unlocked. Fuck you, Pushpanjali.

Get back on the chat to tell him,

[Magic]

I really hope Baz formatted his text in red, as if we wouldn't have been able to figure it out.

[Baz]

The "print this transcript" did all the formatting for me. I was too angry to add BB code myself.

The first draft had my mobile number on it.

[Manc]

It's a victory for the West.

[Boydy]

My feet fucking stink. :sick:

[Pepe]

Liberal in being a dirty hippy shocker.

[John]

After tonight's extended visit with my grandmother, two things have irritated me.

Firstly, the time I spend watching TV in her house is my only real exposure to whatever advertising the BBC are currently doing for themselves, and tonight produced an absolute cracker. That thing with footage of Luther, Sherlock, and Scully in The Fall spliced together as though they'd somehow stumbled into the same murder scene, complete with Sherlock saying 'so you're a real genius too' to Luther, is the worst I've ever seen. It was well realised and the lines did make sense out of their actual context, but who the fuck came up with that idea and where should I smear shit to cause them maximum discomfort.

Secondly, and more importantly, her mental condition is deteriorating and it isn't being properly addressed because I'm the only person seeing it. She's always had a somewhat goofy personality, so I can understand some of her less lucid interludes being mistaken for jokes or whatever, but we're long past the stage where my grandad should be noticing the difference so I've sort of confirmed that he's losing his edge too. She provided me with perhaps the best yet of her many 'I shouldn't be laughing at this because it's clearly indicative of a serious problem, but fucking hell' outbursts tonight when she was absolutely certain that her mum lived in Ken Barlow's house before he did. She goes to the doctors often, but on the occasions where she's losing time and doesn't make it they obviously aren't seeing it, and on the occasions she does make it she's by definition lucid enough to appear normal, and also to make excuses for the missed appointments. She's been fiercely independent all her life, and I don't want to betray that by going around her to force a home visit when I'm there and she's a bit batty, but I'm not far off the point where concern for her health is going to outweigh the betrayal and whatever shit I'll have to take for it.

[Boydy]

Liberal in being a dirty hippy shocker.

I'm not a fucking liberal.

[Boydy]

Secondly, and more importantly, her mental condition is deteriorating and it isn't being properly addressed because I'm the only person seeing it. She's always had a somewhat goofy personality, so I can understand some of her less lucid interludes being mistaken for jokes or whatever, but we're long past the stage where my grandad should be noticing the difference so I've sort of confirmed that he's losing his edge too. She provided me with perhaps the best yet of her many 'I shouldn't be laughing at this because it's clearly indicative of a serious problem, but fucking hell' outbursts tonight when she was absolutely certain that her mum lived in Ken Barlow's house before he did. She goes to the doctors often, but on the occasions where she's losing time and doesn't make it they obviously aren't seeing it, and on the occasions she does make it she's by definition lucid enough to appear normal, and also to make excuses for the missed appointments. She's been fiercely independent all her life, and I don't want to betray that by going around her to force a home visit when I'm there and she's a bit batty, but I'm not far off the point where concern for her health is going to outweigh the betrayal and whatever shit I'll have to take for it.

You could call and chat to the doctor that she sees and tell him/her what problems you've been seeing and get them to ask more probing questions so they can discover more? They can hopefully help her out then and she won't have to feel she's been betrayed by you.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Pepe]

I'm not a fucking liberal.

That's not what Harold says.

[Boydy]

Fuck him.

[Pepe]

I'm not into transexuals.

[Foe]

After tonight's extended visit with my grandmother, two things have irritated me.

Firstly, the time I spend watching TV in her house is my only real exposure to whatever advertising the BBC are currently doing for themselves, and tonight produced an absolute cracker. That thing with footage of Luther, Sherlock, and Scully in The Fall spliced together as though they'd somehow stumbled into the same murder scene, complete with Sherlock saying 'so you're a real genius too' to Luther, is the worst I've ever seen. It was well realised and the lines did make sense out of their actual context, but who the fuck came up with that idea and where should I smear shit to cause them maximum discomfort.

Secondly, and more importantly, her mental condition is deteriorating and it isn't being properly addressed because I'm the only person seeing it. She's always had a somewhat goofy personality, so I can understand some of her less lucid interludes being mistaken for jokes or whatever, but we're long past the stage where my grandad should be noticing the difference so I've sort of confirmed that he's losing his edge too. She provided me with perhaps the best yet of her many 'I shouldn't be laughing at this because it's clearly indicative of a serious problem, but fucking hell' outbursts tonight when she was absolutely certain that her mum lived in Ken Barlow's house before he did. She goes to the doctors often, but on the occasions where she's losing time and doesn't make it they obviously aren't seeing it, and on the occasions she does make it she's by definition lucid enough to appear normal, and also to make excuses for the missed appointments. She's been fiercely independent all her life, and I don't want to betray that by going around her to force a home visit when I'm there and she's a bit batty, but I'm not far off the point where concern for her health is going to outweigh the betrayal and whatever shit I'll have to take for it.

My parents went through this with my nan. It was getting pretty dangerous too as she was putting things on to cook and forgetting about it.

Just be careful the doctor you get appreciates the full extent, maybe make a journal or something. The one my nan had was adamant she was fine and didn't have Alzheimer's becuase she could count back from 100. Despite the fact she wouldn't recognise where she was, or that she had been there before. It's not pleasant but if you genuinely think they need help then be stern with your point.

[Baz]

If there's one thing people with dementia are great at, it's covering it up.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Toby]

They did those number and literacy tests with my granny too, and she wiped the floor with my mum's oldest sister, who had accompanied her to the meeting. A life of doing crosswords and number puzzles and watching Countdown every day made it a pretty pointless test, because if they'd just asked her to make a cup of tea they'd have realised she was doolally the eighth time she asked if they wanted sugar.

[Magic]

The internet.

I knew feeding ducks with out of date bread couldn't be good for them, I looked it up. It told me to feed ducks with their natural diet: lettuce, seeds, rice and oats instead of bread.

Fine, so I took some lettuce and also some 9 oat wholemeal bread too.

The little cunts went fucking rabid for the bread, biting my trainers and everything. Whipped out the lettuce expecting them to go wild at the fact some nonce had brought organic lettuce for them. I kid you not as soon as they saw me get it out of the bag they turned around and started walking away. I ripped off a few bits and threw it at the ungrateful fuckers but they took no notice. Even the gulls lolled at us. Other parents that were there must have thought we were total wrong 'uns. Maybe this shit is more psychologically damaging. :(

[Disco]

:D Lettuce. Just use some bird seed or something you mong.

Reminds me of a kid at the school my mum worked at, a few of his mates were going to egg the headmasters car but his mum was too scavvy to buy eggs so he improvised. They caught him smearing Flora on it.

[Magic]

What? I'm not going to go out and actively buy bird seed you lunatic. The whole point of 'feeding the burds' is to get rid of out of date shit in your house.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If my dog or indeed myself is anything to go by, animals mainly want food that they aren't 'supposed' to eat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What? I'm not going to go out and actively buy bird seed you lunatic. The whole point of 'feeding the burds' is to get rid of out of date shit in your house.

Yet you decided to Google if ducks are fine with 'out of date shit'...

[Disco]

Basic class ladder error there, every middle class family puts out bird feeders in winter.

[Magic]

Yet you decided to Google if ducks are fine with 'out of date shit'...

I Googled is white bread bad for ducks.

[Magic]

Basic class ladder error there, every middle class family puts out bird feeders in winter.

Life fuck I'd want the set of Hitchcock's classic in one of my three gardens. My neighbour has one and all it's done is attracted legions of swallows to shite on my newly painted fence and decking.

[Disco]

Price of philanthropy that is, you'll never get anywhere with that attitude.

[John]

Pamela Anderson has been addressing the French parliament about a law to stop 'foie gras'. What the fuck is that about? No part of that makes any sense.

[Magic]

Its disgusting.

[Disco]

It's nice on toast.

[randomlegend]

Foie gras is pretty fucking cruel, as we were discussing during a particularly cultured Rocket League session the other night.

[Yevrah]

Pamela Anderson has been addressing the French parliament about a law to stop 'foie gras'. What the fuck is that about? No part of that makes any sense.

Which bits are you struggling with? Pamela Anderson's involvement is the only curious part and even that can explained by her being a SCHELEBRITEE.

[John]

That Pamela Anderson was invited to French parliament to discuss foie gras. There's no way she can be more knowledgeable on the subject than others, as Joanna Lumley was with the Gurkhas, and she can barely even be described as a celebrity at this point. Presumably she's a patron of some anti-cruelty charity but again, she can't be the most knowledgeable person available. She's just a vapid former tit model.

The one part of the story that does make sense is that a load of French politicians refused to entertain the idea and just didn't turn up. I like that.

[Yevrah]

Like the Hollywood Foreign Press Association nominating all manner of shite for the Golden Globes, whoever invited her probably just wanted a chance to hang out with someone they've been masturbating furiously over for the last 25 years.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Its disgusting.

It is although they are trying to make it more ethical, although you don't get nearly as much from a duck or a goose.

Although, as someone mentioned when we were talking about it during a Rocket League session, all farming is technically unethical. We feed the animals up to gain maximum potential in terms of a food source.

After speaking about foie gras we spoke about what animals we wouldn't eat, there's a thread in that probably.

[Toby]

There's a monthly film quiz at the local cinema here, which I've been going to pretty much without fail since it started two or three years ago. First I formed a team with my brother that was sort of middling, then he stopped going for a while due to work and I joined with friends who were a few short. We did a lot better but never managed to win it.

They've always had one or two too many people though, and it just happened to be that none of them all wanted to go at the same time, but recently everybody has been available and as the newest to the team I agreed to go back to the old team, as my brother had started going again. Also in that team is a very possibly autistic older cousin of my brother's friend. He's a complete arsehole but we've won the last two quizzes largely on his knowledge, so I'm the tricky situation of not actually enjoying the experience as much as I used to but finding it hilarious that I was essentially kicked out of the other team and have won every time since.

[igor_balis]

There's a monthly film quiz at the local cinema here, which I've been going to pretty much without fail since it started two or three years ago. First I formed a team with my brother that was sort of middling, then he stopped going for a while due to work and I joined with friends who were a few short. We did a lot better but never managed to win it.

They've always had one or two too many people though, and it just happened to be that none of them all wanted to go at the same time, but recently everybody has been available and as the newest to the team I agreed to go back to the old team, as my brother had started going again. Also in that team is a very possibly autistic older cousin of my brother's friend. He's a complete arsehole but we've won the last two quizzes largely on his knowledge, so I'm the tricky situation of not actually enjoying the experience as much as I used to but finding it hilarious that I was essentially kicked out of the other team and have won every time since.
Mate, pub quiz etiquette is a fucking minefield. There's a maximum of 6 people on teams at the one I go to. We finished 2nd the other week, but only at the end did the quiz master notice they had 10 players. As runners up we would have won the quiz (and the £50 bar tab prize) but the QM didn't have the balls to go through with it because he's the brother of one of our team members. Fair enough I guess.

Pub quizzes in general are frustrating as fuck. Our team has finished 2nd by three or four points about 4 times, 2nd by a point once, and xmas 2014 we came joint first and lost on a cunting tie-break.

The time we lost by a point, the question had been the inventor of some electrical device, one of our team had guessed the correct answer, but the person writing down the answers hadn't noticed him coming up with a plausible answer and wrote 'John Decibel' for a laugh instead. I found that more funny than annoying in fairness.

[SvN]

The blatant cheating does my head in. People going to the toilets mid round or just sitting there on their phones, under the table. Completely ruins it for me, and I just assume everyone else is cheating.

[igor_balis]

Only place I've ever seen cheating was a really bad pub quiz me and some uni mates went to once. It was a horrible cocktail bar frequented by JMU students, and all the questions were about reality tv and celebs. The pub quiz machine there was always really easy to win money on, though. I mean no offence to any John Moores students past or present in this post.

If you go to a decent pub without wankers you generally shouldn't get people cheating. Once we had some weird mate of a mate join our team and offer to find out the answer to a question on his phone in the toilets, and he couldn't understand why we didn't want him to. We were never going to win first place that week so what's the fucking point?

[Pepe]

Foie gras is excellent. :drool:

[igor_balis]

This talk of cheating has made me think - has Indoctrin shown his face in recent years? That whole saga was a brilliant read, though probably lost to the mass deleting of last year.

[Lewis]

Didn't he come back and play it normally for a bit, only to then cheat another tournament? Say what you want about some of the weirdos TTH has seen, but the FM Sections were a right hive at one point.

[Smiffy]

We really missed a golden opportunity to do a full on TD timeline.

[Lewis]

'Nota Bene' was the top fruitcake I reckon. What the fuck was he doing? Me and Ledley (and to a lesser extent Floyd) had a right seethe when IJ wouldn't let us hassle him into admitting that he was thelastnightintown and not some Swiss-Italian polymath.

[Gray Fox]

This talk of cheating has made me think - has Indoctrin shown his face in recent years? That whole saga was a brilliant read, though probably lost to the mass deleting of last year.

It was an open secret on the old board that he was a cheat. The signs were there. He'd often win 38 out of 38 games a season and he even got Hernandez to score a thousand goals for United in one save. Then I think in either FM12 or 13 he entered the boards FM tournament and got to the final. Before they even announced the results he was accused of cheating and when the save was looked at, it was proven.
I think he was outright perma-banned. I don't think anyone here or the old place heard from him since.

[Lewis]

I can't find the Indoctrin is a cheat lololol threads, but forget that. Did you ever receive your 2011 Staff Challenge (http://www.thedugout.tv/community/showpost.php?p=3277236&postcount=165) medal, Yevrah?

[Lewis]

It was an open secret on the old board that he was a cheat. The signs were there. He'd often win 38 out of 38 games a season and he even got Hernandez to score a thousand goals for United in one save. Then I think in either FM12 or 13 he entered the boards FM tournament and got to the final. Before they even announced the results he was accused of cheating and when the save was looked at, it was proven.
I think he was outright perma-banned. I don't think anyone here or the old place heard from him since.

Winning every game with a big team isn't unusual (especially after a couple of seasons), but when IJ and Guido looked at his save it turned out that his main thing was editing players. It would have been lol enough if it was his own, but he used to strip opposing centre-backs of their pace and tackling so that his players could basically run through them.

'I tabbed out and came back to find us 21-0 up. :D'
'can i have your tactic mate?'

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It was an open secret on the old board that he was a cheat. The signs were there. He'd often win 38 out of 38 games a season and he even got Hernandez to score a thousand goals for United in one save. Then I think in either FM12 or 13 he entered the boards FM tournament and got to the final. Before they even announced the results he was accused of cheating and when the save was looked at, it was proven.
I think he was outright perma-banned. I don't think anyone here or the old place heard from him since.

He was unbanned after a while and came back.

The monthly FM challenges were always better than the yearly ones, it was a shame I broke them though :(

[SvN]

I thought he was saving/quitting? I have recollections of someone from SI looking at the save file and saying it had been saved about 200 odd times in a few seasons.

[igor_balis]

When I read through it, it was both hilarious use of in-game editors AND reloading 200+ times. Funny shit.

[Lewis]

He was saving it before every game as well (and probably re-loading when they scored less than five), but I used to save it before every game out of shit PC-having habit, and Guido (tactics be upon him) claimed to do likewise, so that was never enough to do him. I reckon IJ just had it in for him as part of some camp goth blood feud.

[SvN]

I used to save before finals and league deciders. If I had a player sent off in the first few minutes I'd reload without even finishing the match.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jimmy sent the save game to SI, who checked how many times the game had been saved. Was like 300 times in one season. Plus, Indoctrin, the dozy fuck, forgot to change back some of Real Madrids players stats before sending off the save game for checking.

Alan :cool:

[igor_balis]

I used to save and reload play-off finals and cup finals until I won until I was about 14. I still save before every final out of tradition/habit but never reload.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Turns out that the whole thing actually happened before the crash so the actual fallout is gone which is a shame.

[Smiffy]

I tried using my trusty search skills but it would appear you're correct. You only need to go through his past posts to see something was suspect.

200 plus goals for Hernandez for Mexico whilst coaxing him to delay his retirement four times...sure.

[Gray Fox]

(3 file)Auto save every 2 weeks is enough. Unless you're into that late night 'one more match' phase. In which case I start saving after every match, in case I've had enough before the next one.

I'm pretty sure the mob was out with the pitchforks and torches for him, but this was a good 4 years ago now so I could be wrong. I had no idea he was editing the players of their pace/tackling though.

[Smiffy]

Alan :cool:

Quite mad when you consider I saved less than that in my Sheff United save.


http://s20.postimg.org/v330oc719/Game_Season_2027_28_Sheffield_United_Game.png

[Lewis]

His San Marino save was far more lol than whatever he got out of the club game. I'm sure he won Euro 2012 with them.

[Smiffy]

Indoctrin
25-05-2007, 07:32 PM

So you've only lost 8 games?

Just 7, and all in my first 5 seasons of management. I think its helped ive found pretty damn good keepers every time ive looked for one.

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/4034/myhistoryge8.th.jpg (http://img232.imageshack.us/my.php?image=myhistoryge8.jpg)

Some of my Betis records:
Highest Scoring Game: 33-0 v Sporting Lisbon
Highest Scoring League Game: 20 - 0 v Malaga
Biggest Win: 33-0 v Sporting Libson
Biggest Leage Win: 20-0 v Malaga
Highest Attendence: 104,086
Total Transfers Out: £245million
Most League Goals: 138
Goals Conceeded: 12
Biggest Goal Difference: 120
Total Points: 114
Games Won In A Row 65 (in a season)
Games Unbeaten: 195
League Games Won In A Row: 117
League Games Without Losing: 145

Betis Records Part 1:
http://img454.imageshack.us/img454/3531/betisrecordskj7.th.jpg (http://img454.imageshack.us/my.php?image=betisrecordskj7.jpg)
Betis Records Part 2:
http://img459.imageshack.us/img459/1405/betisrecords2nm9.th.jpg (http://img459.imageshack.us/my.php?image=betisrecords2nm9.jpg)




:D

[mugbull]

There was an FM tournament game where Alan accused me of cheating because I saved before every game. I was unaware that there were people who didn't save before every game, cause FM would crash for me about 10 times per season.

[John]

The suspicious thing with his saving patterns was that the file had been loaded more times than it had been saved, I'm sure. He was just an idiot.

[Toby]

Mate, pub quiz etiquette is a fucking minefield. There's a maximum of 6 people on teams at the one I go to. We finished 2nd the other week, but only at the end did the quiz master notice they had 10 players. As runners up we would have won the quiz (and the £50 bar tab prize) but the QM didn't have the balls to go through with it because he's the brother of one of our team members. Fair enough I guess.

Pub quizzes in general are frustrating as fuck. Our team has finished 2nd by three or four points about 4 times, 2nd by a point once, and xmas 2014 we came joint first and lost on a cunting tie-break.

The time we lost by a point, the question had been the inventor of some electrical device, one of our team had guessed the correct answer, but the person writing down the answers hadn't noticed him coming up with a plausible answer and wrote 'John Decibel' for a laugh instead. I found that more funny than annoying in fairness.

I've been running a quiz of my own recently as well, not quite monthly but fairly regular. I have the same six team limit and the same happened in the first quiz, with the winning team slowly adding members through the night as their mates turned up. It's really hard to do anything about as a quizmaster if you haven't laid down the law at the start, especially as they tend to just claim their mates aren't taking part. Now I just tell teams they can either split up or I'll reduce their score proportionally and it's enough to put them off.

Those bastards were clearly cheating with mobiles in the toilets, which is particularly hard to police when there's too many in the team, but I haven't seen anybody doing that since. If they are they're not doing so very successfully. We had rollover jackpots of the entry money, which grew to £200+ on a couple of occasions, so the incentive was there I suppose. I don't understand why you'd cheat in a quiz with the usual novelty prizes.

[Toby]

I've been trying to book a restaurant on Edinburgh on Saturday 13th February and couldn't figure out why everything seemed to be fully booked. :moop:

[Smiffy]

I've finally twigged what you're chatting about.

[Sam]

Sky.

Blues game moved to a Sunday for the cameras.13th game moved so far this season. The fucks.

[The Merse]

I've been running a quiz of my own recently as well, not quite monthly but fairly regular. I have the same six team limit and the same happened in the first quiz, with the winning team slowly adding members through the night as their mates turned up. It's really hard to do anything about as a quizmaster if you haven't laid down the law at the start, especially as they tend to just claim their mates aren't taking part. Now I just tell teams they can either split up or I'll reduce their score proportionally and it's enough to put them off.

Those bastards were clearly cheating with mobiles in the toilets, which is particularly hard to police when there's too many in the team, but I haven't seen anybody doing that since. If they are they're not doing so very successfully. We had rollover jackpots of the entry money, which grew to £200+ on a couple of occasions, so the incentive was there I suppose. I don't understand why you'd cheat in a quiz with the usual novelty prizes.


We normally head to one a week and have been around a few round Bristol, and I've been pleasently surprised by a lack of phone wankers in several of them. One has the most authoritarian quizmaster going sorting it all out (shouting/deducting points for merely a mobile being out of pocket), but the other two just seem to not be subject to the cunts which made Swansea pub quizzes such a chore.

We've won a few times recently with only two of us either in attendance or of any use (we've had 6 person teams where only us two actually ever answer). Unfortunately, the one we win with greatest ease also marked us incorrectly two weeks running too, and one of those occasions we had a winning score (the other team didn't add our picture round to the the final score and the quizmasters don't give enough of a shit to validate it). They announce the winners before handing the sheets back too, which is fucking annoying, so we've not challenged it on those occasions :moop:

Still, we've had quite a few £30 drinks vouchers and bottles of £15 wine as a result, always nice - and it's £1 off draught beers, from a superb (largely craft) bar.


I've been trying to book a restaurant on Edinburgh on Saturday 13th February and couldn't figure out why everything seemed to be fully booked. :moop:

Fuck, that took me ages to get. Surprising when for the previous 8 years I'd have been expected to have something decent booked by now. Talking of pub quiz I'll need to get the other lad to bring his hot mate before Valentines, I've been planning to get her number so that's the ideal time...

[Lee]

I've finally convinced Lauren that Valentine's is complete bollocks.

Which means she's going to be very pleasantly surprised that I've booked is a table in a nice looking place in Tromso on the 11th. :cool:

[The Merse]

I've finally convinced Lauren that Valentine's is complete bollocks.

Which means she's going to be very pleasantly surprised that I've booked is a table in a nice looking place in Tromso on the 11th. :cool:

Fuck me. You've got yourselves out of a hole then? Fair one, happy for you's, gutted for the Relationship Thread.

[Reg]

Sky.

Blues game moved to a Sunday for the cameras.13th game moved so far this season. The fucks.
It's really annoying. We've got four Saturdays left I think. I wish they'd show some feckin away games instead.

[Sam]

It's really annoying. We've got four Saturdays left I think. I wish they'd show some feckin away games instead.

I dont why they enjoy the half empty grounds. It's a derby but they've constantly moved the last few so its just been so poorly attended. We've had four Saturday home games so far this season. Totally pointless having a ST.

[Sam]

We have only two left the whole season. :happycry:. Why grab a season ticket at all. Heh.

[Reg]

I think with us they like showing our stadium off on the cameras, and it's well equipped for media etc.

If I'm honest they're probably better off picking a noisier ground.

[Sam]

I think with us they like showing our stadium off on the cameras, and it's well equipped for media etc.

If I'm honest they're probably better off picking a noisier ground.

Yeah I think they just expect a big audience with us but forget that the season is already over for ourselves.

[John]

In the process of becoming the last person in Scotland to watch Kevin Bridges' latest DVD, and his exaggeration of his natural Glaswegian accent is doing my nut in. It's like he rebels against his own 'Leamington Spa' stuff as soon as he goes past Springburn and has to be six times more Glaswegian than anyone from Glasgow has ever been to cleanse himself.