The little things in life that fuck you off

[Shindig]

Fudge and Eclairs are fine for me. I tolerate Bounties but only in the absence of something better.

[Waffdon]

Not liking bounties is childish behaviour

[Dquincy]

I actually like Bounty now.

Fudge is the pits and Eclairs are just too much hassle and take too much time to enjoy. All that wasted time you could have been shoving other ones into your fat face.
You crazy Polish bastard. Éclairs are great when the chocolate oozes out.

I'm assuming ripped Mahow this Christmas is very different to cuddly mahow last Christmas. So perhaps you won't indulge as much this year? Instead of Treeslets, it's steak. Instead of bounty's, it's poached chicken (skin off).

[Spikey M]

Not liking bounties is childish behaviour

I'll eat them. Same as I'll eat toffee coins and éclairs, but they're bottom tier confectionery and I'd much rather have more of the other stuff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You crazy Polish bastard. Éclairs are great when the chocolate oozes out.

I'm assuming ripped Mahow this Christmas is very different to cuddly mahow last Christmas. So perhaps you won't indulge as much this year? Instead of Treeslets, it's steak. Instead of bounty's, it's poached chicken (skin off).

Keto Christmas baby.

I'll indulge in extra meat but yeah, carbs can get fucked.

And never take the skin off, animal fats are needed.

[Shindig]

I'm just not a big fan of coconut.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I used to dislike Bounty. It wasn't due to the taste though as I don't mind coconut flavour, especially in curries, but it was the texture.

Was never a fan of dessicated coconut in general but Bounty seemed to take it further by being a weird paste. Got over the texture issue though and was fine with it eventually.

[Lewis]

Keto Christmas baby.

I'll indulge in extra meat but yeah, carbs can get fucked.

And never take the skin off, animal fats are needed.

Have a few days off you sad act.

[Boydy]

Yeah, have a roast spud ffs.

[Giggles]

Whale mahow > shrunken dick mahow.

[Ben]

Bountys are tremendous you lunatics. Especially the dark ones.

[Spikey M]

The muddled brain of the average cocaine user. :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Have a few days off you sad act.
I'm going to Thailand in February for 3 weeks probably so I'll take a break then.

Auntie is making a "keto" cake so I'll have something sweet

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good call, Thailand has famously few options when it comes to munching on meat.

[Spikey M]

The idea of a keto cake even existing has fucked me off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Good call, Thailand has famously few options when it comes to munching on meat.
Which they don't cover in sauces rammed with sugar at all.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The idea of a keto cake even existing has fucked me off.
I imagine it will be nut based (almond flour and milk) with butter and some sweetener.

Suppose you could add some cocoa powder too.

Could even do a cream cheese and or yoghurt type icing I'm guessing.

[Yevrah]

I'm going to Thailand in February for 3 weeks probably so I'll take a break then.

Auntie is making a "keto" cake so I'll have something sweet

Which part are you off to?

Koh Samui still ranks up there with one of the best places I’ve been to.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Which part are you off to?

Koh Samui still ranks up there with one of the best places I’ve been to.
Looking at Bangkok, Phuket and Koh Samui.

[Yevrah]

Bangkok is mental, but definitely worth a few days. Koh Samui already mentioned. Can’t speak for Phuket as the idea of bumping into a load of Brits looking to ‘find themselves’ put me off ever going.

But nonetheless, enjoy, it’s a cracking country.

[Manc]

Men of a certain vintage visiting Thailand will never not be sus.

[Yevrah]

Men of a certain vintage visiting Thailand will never not be sus.

Yeah, I found this sort of rampant xenophobia/racism widerife among fellow UK peeps when I went. Particularly surprising was its prevalence among people who spend every waking moment preaching about how we should be 100% accepting of every culture that comes here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Men of a certain vintage visiting Thailand will never not be sus.

Unless there are some Ukrainians out there, I'm good.

[Spikey M]

Racist.

[Dquincy]

Whale mahow > shrunken dick mahow.

But he can see it now. Which is nice.

[Lewis]

manc sean told me Bangkok is 'bananas', told me about someone he knows who seemingly rented a slave for a week, and advised me to go whilst I was still young and single enough to enjoy it. Maybe that's where he went.

[phonics]

Bought the David Squires book that’s a collection of his Guardian comics as my Dad doesn’t know him and they’re very good.

Its arrived and 1) the papers very cheap but most importantly 2) these comics being made for web and the book being only slightly bigger than a4 means all the text is just small enough that it’s slightly annoying to read and I’ve got 2020 vision so I can’t imagine what my 70 year old dad is going to think.

[Pepe]

You know how you flip open the sun visor in your car to avoid the sun in your eyes and then when you are done you flip it back to the closed position? My wife just pushes it forward as much as she can instead of closing it when she is done. Her mother is visiting us and she does the same, so now I know where she gets that heinous habit. I seethe in silence every time until we reach our destination and then I close them properly.

[Danny]

Do you slam them closed like when you used to hang up an old flip phone on people?

Wonder if she gets in the car going “ this dickhead put my visor up again”

[Gray Fox]

You should fiddle with the hinge on it so that next time she pushed it forwards it breaks off. Then you can give her the I told you so.

[Pepe]

I haven't mentioned the topic at all, since it seems too minor to bring up. I do slam them closed and my guess is that she doesn't even notice, but I hope that it causes her as much misery as it causes me.

[Lofty]

On the train travelling home for a funeral, got on the train and it's a double set, hardly any passengers. I get on the front set and go right to the front to sit on the best table for a solo traveller as it has only 1 seat on one side. The only other people on the train, a family of 4 with 2 loud kids, migrate towards me and sit opposite me :moop:

I can tell by their accents they are going all the way to Barrow, this is worse than when you park in an empty car park and someone parks next to you.

[Spikey M]

Get up and move

[Lewis]

He can't even have them thrown off now he works elsewhere (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg4z9zvnlplo).

[Boydy]

Things like hummus not having a proper lid any more and just a film of plastic.

Just tried to pull back the film on a pot of taramasalata enough so that it wouldn't keep flapping back over the pot as I tried to dip but the whole thing came off so now I'll have to just delicately balance the film on top when I put it back in the fridge or put it back in uncovered. Or go to the hassle of getting the cling film out, I suppose.

Presumably it's cheaper to just have the film instead of a proper lid but just another example of life getting shitter by a thousand cuts.

[Spikey M]

Foil.

[Yevrah]

Just eat the whole pot.

[Spikey M]

Also a valid solution.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Make your own hummus. Easier than you think and much nicer.

Can't speak for taramasalata.

[randomlegend]

Things like hummus not having a proper lid any more and just a film of plastic.

Just tried to pull back the film on a pot of taramasalata enough so that it wouldn't keep flapping back over the pot as I tried to dip but the whole thing came off so now I'll have to just delicately balance the film on top when I put it back in the fridge or put it back in uncovered. Or go to the hassle of getting the cling film out, I suppose.

Presumably it's cheaper to just have the film instead of a proper lid but just another example of life getting shitter by a thousand cuts.

Clingfilm is fucking shit now. It just doesn't work. I've moaned about this before on here I'm sure. I'd imagine it's been changed for some environmental reasons but I'd personally club a seal or two to get the old stuff back.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've found the best way that it works (and it's still pretty shit) is if you use quite a bit as it clings to itself better than other surfaces.

[Pepe]

Make your own hummus. Easier than you think and much nicer.

True. My wife makes her own and is excellent. Takes like five minutes to make.

[Dquincy]

Teckin smart plugs. They are WANK.

[Dquincy]

Oh, and the M25 during rush hour. Particularly along the south side. Cunts.

[Giggles]

Oh, and the M25 during rush hour. Particularly along the south side. Cunts.
Need a lockdown.

[SvN]

Teckin smart plugs. They are WANK.

The TP-Link Tapo plugs are great, never had an issue in years.

[Danny]

We moved to Kasa plugs and light switches. They are also under the TP Link umbrella. Would recommend those too.

[Manc]

Podcasts frontloading their content with advertising. Takes around two minutes to get to the meat and bones.

[Ben]

It's like the YouTubers who ask for a subscription straight away. How the fuck do I know yet?

Instant turn off.

[Lofty]

Football Weekly have taken the piss recently, sometimes 3 minutes before it actually starts.

[Spikey M]

It's like the YouTubers who ask for a subscription straight away. How the fuck do I know yet?

Instant turn off.

Just shut up and SMASH the like button m8.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Don't forget to hit that notification bell so you don't miss when someone calls you a cunt.

[Shindig]

It really helps them out. Along with the Patreon, ko-fi, affiliate links, super thanks, superchats, tips and bits. Also check out their documentary on Nebula.

[Dquincy]

The TP-Link Tapo plugs are great, never had an issue in years.

Thanks, will take a lot. It's more Vodafone's new fibre broadband which is wank. The new router doesn't allow splitting of the 2.4 and 5 ghz. It's apparently clever enough to tell the device to use 2.4ghz withoutsplittingit manually. Does it fuck.

On the podcast thing, I don't mind the ads as I just hit the 30 second fast forward every time.

[Ben]

How do smart plugs help with wank routers?

[Giggles]

How do smart plugs help with wank routers?

Most of them can only use 2.4 and won't work with some routers.

[SvN]

Yep, my Google WiFi router doesn't have separate network IDs so it's a nightmare. Fortunately I've got a solution that involves using my wife's phone as a hotspot with the same SSID as my router, but it's a bit of a pain.

[Giggles]

Yep, my Google WiFi router doesn't have separate network IDs so it's a nightmare. Fortunately I've got a solution that involves using my wife's phone as a hotspot with the same SSID as my router, but it's a bit of a pain.

That's one I've never had a problem with. It doesn't have the two SSID's but most of my brewing stuff is 2.4 and connects no bother.

[Pepe]

Doesn't really go here, but whatever:

It's crazy to me that an item I bought from Hong Kong was shipped yesterday and is already out for delivery today, while stuff coming from California usually takes at least five days.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're enabling the Chinese takeover, don't do it. Embrace inconvenience.

[Pepe]

I got something else from HK a few days ago and they didn't even charge me any TARIFFS. We'll see this time

[niko_cee]

Is it actually from there though? Quite a lot of stuff off AliExpress, for example, seems to be warehoused over here in the UK now, presumably they have a similar arrangement for the US.

[Pepe]

Yes, FedEx tracking had it in three different Hong Kong locations yesterday. This comes from a small company, not temu and the like.

[Giggles]

Yeah I find a lot of my AliExpress stuff seems to be coming from the Netherlands now.

[phonics]

Stoners.

Mate of mine who owed us some cash said he'd send me some weed from his friends outdoor growhouse (I can't smoke the stuff the kids are buying/selling these days, it's too strong and a couple puffs put me on pluto). It hadn't turned up so I reached out, the knob couldn't be bothered to go buy stamps so just used some he found in the back of his cupboard which are out of date so they don't have the barcode. He thought 'if I just put four of the old ones on there to make up the difference'.

[igor_balis]

Went to the co-op earlier, to scout out the reduced section, and some bloke grabbed both of the big cheesecakes. I always think this kind of behaviour violates the unwritten rules of the reduced section. In a way I'd respect it more if it was like ten pizzas, cus that's just very frugal, some alchie throwing them in the freezer to sustain himself, but two fucking cheesecakes, you greedy cunt.

[Lofty]

When I worked in the Co-op no matter how many packs of mince etc were reduced someone would often come and just take the lot, which I think there should be a limit on but is standard behaviour apparently.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some people just feel amazing getting a perceived bargain I think. I mean, we all like a saving from time to time, but some people it properly gets them up in the morning to think of getting a deal on frozen goods.

It's never the most badly off people either.

[Spikey M]

I've noticed there's a certain... genre of person that stalks the reduced sections when I'm in Southend. I don't know how to put it delicately, but I will say that I suspect the reduced sections in Bradford are fiercely competitive.

[Lofty]

Not Jack Monroe then? Always used to find it a bit suspect she'd parade her yellow sticker hauls on social media as if she didn't have her own cookbooks and appear on tv, maybe leave some for the needy eh?

[igor_balis]

Not Jack Monroe then? Always used to find it a bit suspect she'd parade her yellow sticker hauls on social media as if she didn't have her own cookbooks and appear on tv, maybe leave some for the needy eh?

Absolute fraud of a person. I can understand lefties wanting to believe in people like that, and I do think accusations of hypocrisy are sometimes unfairly thrown at public do-gooders, but it was very interesting watching the people on a very left leaning forum I also frequent slowly accepting that jack monroe was full of shit.

It was like the classic stages of grief, and I think there are still a few holdouts who still think it's all just a conspiracy to make them look bad.

[Shindig]

It's just weird to carry a façade like that. "Look, I'm poor and everything but I'm dead clever with how I shop. Watch how effortlessly I make this quiche." Fuck that, noise. I want a woman on a council estate, wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt struggling to break up mince. You can't fake that authenticity.

[randomlegend]

I was meant to sit one of my college membership exams this afternoon at some random test centre but they couldn't get the app to work on the computers so it got cancelled.

The "IT guy" was literally Chabuddy G, I don't think he'd ever used a computer before today.

[Lofty]

Absolute fraud of a person. I can understand lefties wanting to believe in people like that, and I do think accusations of hypocrisy are sometimes unfairly thrown at public do-gooders, but it was very interesting watching the people on a very left leaning forum I also frequent slowly accepting that jack monroe was full of shit.

It was like the classic stages of grief, and I think there are still a few holdouts who still think it's all just a conspiracy to make them look bad.

As it turns out it's all kicked off on X tonight because she's been given some £60k nepo job at Southend council and Reform have found out and called it on the agenda.

[igor_balis]

FFS. Does anyone remember my dad writing that retarded new age philosophy book? I thought he'd basically gotten over it, but I received this message just now:

https://i.ibb.co/chGDYhXR/received-3523889097906583.jpg

I look forward to retiring on my percentage of the proceeds of Business Secrets of the White Van Men.

[igor_balis]

I'm particularly amused by his earlier message this morning when I was asleep, telling me "the vanity publishers are interested in my book!", which suggests he knows exactly the kind of scam this is, yet he was still pleasantly surprised they wanted to take his money.

[Lewis]

Mum, Sue and igor Too.

[randomlegend]

Isn't this literally the plot of a Peep show episode?

Edit: ah I see you have indeed alluded to that with the title

[Lofty]

Please live stream the book launch in the pub.

[phonics]

I just found out that, the Indian people who bought my flat halfway through my lease tired to jack up my rent illegally and then evicted me have been registering the council taxes under my name for the last year.


Im the least organised person in the world and within 3 minutes of receiving that email I sent back 12 pages of evidence.

[igor_balis]

I just found out that, the Indian people who bought my flat halfway through my lease tired to jack up my rent illegally and then evicted me have been registering the council taxes under my name for the last year.


Im the least organised person in the world and within 3 minutes of receiving that email I sent back 12 pages of evidence.

Hahah oh shit, weren't they there snooping around that weekend I was there ?

[Ben]

The Indian bloke who bought my first house tried to dump four months of energy bills onto me because he hadn’t got a tenant yet.

I literally had to send the debt collection company evidence I’d sold the house to him for them to back off, because he genuinely believed he didn’t have to pay anything until tenants were in. :cab:

[phonics]

Don't know if you've noticed this Jim but I've now been out of the country for 3 years and I can't translate French clips I read.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I find it's very much a form is temporary, class is permanent thing. When I go there I tend to flounder for 36 hours and then it all comes flooding back and I'm using the verb ranger all the time and shrugging.

[Disco]

Has phonics broken the forum for everyone else?

[phonics]

I got a Charlie horse having a wank and kicked out the plug for the server. My bad.

[-james-]

It's my birthday next week and I have three different people asking me what I want. Working out birthday presents is your chore, not mine ffs.

[phonics]

I’m not sure which thread it was being discussed in but I got stricken into watching big GarethEcon and that Aussie go to war and my biggest takeaway from the whole thing is that Mr Huel might be generational levels of thick. I think Steve Irwin but for Tech is fundamentally wrong but he has actual thoughts. Meanwhile Stephen’s in the corner popping up every 25 minutes to tell me a stat produced by Grok 3.0.

[niko_cee]

I saw that and thought it can't be too long until Gary has another breakdown.

I particularly enjoyed the bit where the Australian's plan for the betterment of THE YOUTH was for them all to become a brand / tech start up and have their own social media enterprise. What could possibly go wrong?

Gary also needs to get better handlers / briefing so he can push back more on the extremely prevalent argument that Singapore / Switzerland / Ireland are doing well so we should copy them. As a former inhabitant of that sort of place it doesn't take a genius to realise that not everyone can be a fucking tax haven and that even in those places, where affluence is off the charts, many people still struggle.

[phonics]

As someone who grew up in Geneva who’s friends bounced between there, Singapore and Delaware I am constantly perplexed how hard the side of the argument I agree with doesn’t hit that it the park for a home run.

[phonics]

IVE JUST GOT TO THE PART WHERE STEVE IRWIN SAYS ‘my mate went clubbing and woke up with no arms or legs and that inspired him to be an entrepreneur’

I’m losing it. I have no idea where this is going but it’s one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard.

[niko_cee]

This will be the best day of my life.

:D

[Spikey M]

My new pet conspiracy theory is that Huel kills brain cells. Or, at the very least, only appeals to those that have some kind of degenerative disease of the brain.

[phonics]

So I’m minding my own business listening to music on Spotify when a podcast about mental health pops up (not sure podcasts are good for mental health generally tbh considering how many I listen to but we move on) and the guest they were advertising was ‘TUPPENCE Middleton’

I’m just walking round the house now just repeating the name over and over like a mad man.

[Raoul Duke]

She was in a great Netflix show called "Sense8". I think you can see her tuppence in it

[Yevrah]

For as long as I can remember every laptop/keyboard I've used has the control key located on the bottom left and the fn key to the right of that. Work gave me a Lenovo as my new laptop this week and those two keys are inexplicably swapped around. Genuinely might be the smallest thing, with the biggest fuck me off, I can ever recall.

[Giggles]

Weird, I just got mine today and it's the same brand and they're the proper way round.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Having come back from my god awful trade show week late last night, I am fucked this morning so headed for a McBreakfast to make things better. Two little things happened which fucked me off / made me question the state of society.

First of all, a couple of the ordering screen things were not working, so there was a long queue for the others. However the counter was completely free, so I just walked up and ordered vocally, as it were, so skipping the queue. What are these people doing? Are they complete dribbling morons or are we already at the point where people don't realise self service is not the only option?

Secondly, I sat down and within 30 seconds or so, a woman sitting near me had dropped her coffee everywhere, all over the floor. Happens. I had a few inadequate paper towel things so I went over and put them down and urged her to get the staff over with a mop and it would all be fine. She kept saying 'thank you thank you', then panicked, said 'Tell them I've left' and literally ran away, leaving me to do the informing to much eye rolling. Death penalty? I would argue so.

[niko_cee]

:D

All about the app, although that can be a complete ballache as well.

Women completely totaling full cups of coffee is a growing phenomenon, I've seen two or three examples recently and most had the same sort of panic and flight type response.

My return to blighty last night was somewhat soured by the M25 inexplicably being under a 'system test' 50 speed limit for the exact section [M26 to M23] that I was using. What the fuck is that?

[Giggles]

Someone using one of those screens let a shout at me one day for walking straight to the counter. Which means they actuslly knew you could do it and were still fumbling around. Idiots.

[Ben]

Your first point is so true.

I did similar at the petrol station earlier. A lot of pumps were out of action so there was only two available. Loads of cars queuing for one pump because their caps are all on the driver’s side. This is despite several huge signs saying “extra long hoses, use both sides” so I promptly skipped the huge queue and went to the empty pump to fill up, which easily reached around my estate car. Everyone else looking at me as if I’ve got two heads.

Basic stuff which makes you wonder how they function daily.

[igor_balis]

A not insignificant part of my job at the bank (2016-2020) was to persuade people to use the self service machines for basic transactions, so it's funny to notice how resistant people seem to be to NOT using such devices these days. You still see loads of boomers on Facebook ranting about not being able to use a proper till at the supermarket though, so fuck knows.

I guess basically anyone under the age of 30 is a socially awkward mess who can't face interacting with people and anyone over 60 is a technophobic retard. And we're all great.

[Gray Fox]

We made the transition to a new payslip supplier early in 2024. This meant no longer was there a paper payslip and also this was to have managers spending no time looking up and printing off for people during work hours. I was the 'champion' of integrating it. Which essentially boils down to watching/helping you install an app on your phone and connect an email to your work credentials so you can log in any time.

For many of the older generation in there this was a disaster. A lot immediately started out saying they did not want the app and they'd complain in order to keep the old way. Whereas the younger lot were completely unaware you could go and talk to someone to get it, or go to HR to sort it. The app a godsend to them.

[Pepe]

Here you see long lines of cars on the drive through outside fast food places and almost always the inside of the place is completely empty. God forbid you have to get out of your car and walk five steps.

On the supermarket, however, I often rather wait in the self checkout than go to one of the manned lines, since the cashiers are always completely fucking useless.

[Shindig]

I'd rather take a manned checkout. Waiting versus me scanning my own shopping makes little difference to me.

[randomlegend]

Here you see long lines of cars on the drive through outside fast food places and almost always the inside of the place is completely empty. God forbid you have to get out of your car and walk five steps.

I've found even if you go in and it's empty, the food often takes fucking ages to actually come because they are prioritising moving the cars through the drivethrough.

[igor_balis]

I've found even if you go in and it's empty, the food often takes fucking ages to actually come because they are prioritising moving the cars through the drivethrough.

And all the Uber eats orders

[Boydy]

It pisses me off when I see someone with a basket in the trolley self service section in my local Tesco.

[Lofty]

And all the Uber eats orders

This the real issue now. I went into Subway early on a Sunday morning after a heavy night out once, wanting to get something to eat on the train. The place was absolutely dead but they guy apologised and made me wait because I was essentially in a virtual queue and he had to get all the orders for delivery ready first.

As for self service, what's more annoying is when they have a trolley section that is closed off whilst the queue for the basket section snakes around the aisles.

[Giggles]

Same in any of the supermarkets now too. You go in first thing on the weekend when it should be quiet, and it's rammed with staff with massive rolling shelves blocking aisles doing online orders.

[Pepe]

Doesn't fuck me off but this thread will do:

Simone Biles has been chosen as the commencement speaker for my former University. Yes, the same Simone Biles who was homeschooled so she had more time to do gymnastics and who did not attend university so that she could become a professional gymnast. What is she going to tell them?

I didn't go to school and I didn't go to college and I am the best ever at what I do. Good job getting through 20+ years of schooling. Hope you enjoy you 9 to 5.

[Manc]

When it rains, it pours. First of all, my boiler exploded. I then suffered a tyre puncture on the Volvo. My mother-in-law was rushed to the hospital yesterday, and today my dog screwed his leg up.

[niko_cee]

Still, 1 out of 4.

[Gray Fox]

Most importantly, is the pupper alright?

[Manc]

He's on three legs for the moment.

[Pepe]

And the car?

[Manc]

Three wheels.

[Ben]

They do say good things come in threes.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mother in law also on three legs?