The little things in life that fuck you off

[Manc]

Is he the top shagger?

[Ian]

Shit news, Mahow, especially coming relatively unexpected.

[Kikó]

Aye, sorry How. Suppose quick is best especially when they're already suffering with dementia.

[Lofty]

Is he the top shagger?

No, that's my real dad who is 62.

[Dquincy]

Aye, sorry How. Suppose quick is best especially when they're already suffering with dementia.

This. My nan had dementia for over 10 years. It was horrendous for my mum. If she could have gone peacefully and quickly, it would have been less heartache for all concerned.

But condolences, Mahow. Always a sad and difficult time.

[niko_cee]

Someone has just sent me the same nagging general circular email 40 times in 15 minutes.

There should be a reply with account ending virus option for such occasions.

[-james-]

Had a washing machine installed yesterday. Ran it this morning, mid way through the flat below came to inform us that their kitchen is flooded. Upon inspection the water supply pipe has somehow been burned through. Lovely stuff.

[randomlegend]

Did you get it from a Mosque or a Synogogue?

[Manc]

Request to change James' username to Nick The Greek.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9ReQ4Nd-JI

Is there anything worse than these cunts? They have a full back catalogue, mainly attacking Tory figures but this time it's Labour who get the cringe treatment. If I became leader of a fascist government they'd be first in front of the firing squad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is anyone seeing a shit load of worms on the pavement in the last few days?

There seems to be loads in my town and today one managed to get inside my house and just so happened to be where I put my foot after taking my shoes off.

[Yevrah]

That'll happen as it's not stopped raining for two days.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There seems to be far more than I've ever noticed before though.

[Baz]

3 weeks after last paying, I’ve just paid to have my car washed again. :cab: Different place, and asked for the best clean possible and there are still parts that haven’t been cleaned properly. They have cleaned my seats though (wet bum now) so at least that’s done and I can hopefully motivate myself to clean the outside myself from now on.

[Ben]

Get yourself a foam cannon and you'll have so much fun you'll be asking the neighbours if you can clean their car too.

[Baz]

I’ve got one, had it about 2 years, just never used it.

[randomlegend]

Fucking power has been off since midday :moop:

[Dquincy]

3 weeks after last paying, I’ve just paid to have my car washed again. :cab: Different place, and asked for the best clean possible and there are still parts that haven’t been cleaned properly. They have cleaned my seats though (wet bum now) so at least that’s done and I can hopefully motivate myself to clean the outside myself from now on.
Trying to get rid of the stains from your graduate on the back seat. :cool:

Fun fact : It nicer to have sex in the front passenger seat compared to the back.

[niko_cee]

This is something that's really the opposite of what the thread is about, as from my perspective it was so satisfying, but I would imagine the 'victim' would have been seriously fucked off when I saw them run a red light at a roundabout earlier, literally in front of an unmarked copper driving behind them. Blue lights on, instant whatever on your licence. Amazing.

[Don]

:drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That new Pot Noodle advert.

Horrific.

[igor_balis]

As someone with a reasonable interest in local history, our town being called Rugby is a fucking nightmare for googling anything. It's a pretty unfortunate example, but when trying to find stuff about infamous back-of-a-lorry, permanently in a closing down sale athletics store "second sport", obviously the search terms second sport rugby just generated loads of boring articles about the popularity of the shit sport.

William Webb Ellis can fucking do one.

[Disco]

Skittles easter eggs.

Shouldn't be allowed.

[Baz]

Was gonna go the shop before to get some chocolate for my mum for Mother’s Day. Wife stopped me and said she’s going the garden centre after doing the school run so will pick some up for me. Happy days, time saved. Comes back from the garden centre with a plant pot and some plants. ‘The kids can decorate the pot with acrylic paints.’ Firstly fuck off who wants to be doing activities on a Friday evening and secondly, we haven’t got acrylic paints. Just buy a bar of dairy milk you mong.

[Spikey M]

A marriage creaking under the strain of infidelity. :(

[Ben]

Baz would jump at the chance to do acrylic paint activities with the sidekick on a Friday night.

[Baz]

Is right

[Baz]

Been sent this graph:

https://i.imgur.com/UzLF9na.png

Not a clue which marginally different shade of blue is which

[niko_cee]

Did it come with an explanation saying the blue line shows X and the grey line Y?

[Baz]

Yes it had a key but the colours were just as inseparable in that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's the sort of graph that should just be a table with numbers.

[Disco]

Squeezy sauce bottles, the amount of force required to overcome the power of the little plastic sphincter delivers far more sauce than necessary. Bring back glass.

I also thought there was a pork pie in the fridge which I was going to eat when I got home only to find it's gone. ):

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's like going from whatsapp back to telegrams.

[Disco]

I wouldn't be averse to that either.

[niko_cee]

I find the M&S teet/nipple thing to be best for sauce delivery. Their sauce is also very good.

[Lofty]

A geezer in my team at work has taken up rowing and now constantly refers to being 'on the water', as in 'I am finishing now, getting out on the water' or 'I'll check back later, no phones on the water' and it is irritating me more than I thought possible.

[-james-]

Disco doing a reverse sad smiley face is a little unnerving.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Disco doing a reverse sad smiley face is a little unnerving.

I thought the same, we should probably look into whether he's been kidnapped.

[Spikey M]

After being unmanned by squeezy mayonnaise, no less.

[Boydy]

Squeezy sauce bottles, the amount of force required to overcome the power of the little plastic sphincter delivers far more sauce than necessary. Bring back glass.

I also thought there was a pork pie in the fridge which I was going to eat when I got home only to find it's gone. ):

It's those stay clean caps they brought in. Sometimes they squirt out at mad angles too. They should go back to the old squeezy lids. I can clean it myself if it gets jammed up.

[thommo]

For the last couple of days, I've got into my car in the morning and been greeted with quite a strong smell of sour milk.

I can't identify where it's coming from at all - no upholstery smells particularly bad, it's the general smell of the car before I put the A/C on so I don't think it's in the vents. Just utterly infuriating - I can't get rid of it if I don't know what's causing it.

[randomlegend]

Maybe it's you?

[Baz]

Get one of those compressed air style air freshener spray canisters from a petrol station and use the whole thing in there at night. It doesn’t go far but they are mostly decent for the £4 or whatever they are.

[Ben]

For the last couple of days, I've got into my car in the morning and been greeted with quite a strong smell of sour milk.

I can't identify where it's coming from at all - no upholstery smells particularly bad, it's the general smell of the car before I put the A/C on so I don't think it's in the vents. Just utterly infuriating - I can't get rid of it if I don't know what's causing it.

Doesn't matter if you haven't put the A/C on yet. If there's a leak it'll be seeping out and that moisture fucking stinks. Then the heat generated once the car starts will evaporate it and the smell goes away. Then it sits overnight and it repeats the cycle.

A service on that would definitely be my first shout.

[Boydy]

The plastic film that comes on those foil trays of food that you're meant to cook the food in. It never fucking rips off properly. Now I'm having dinner with a side of microplastics. Great. Delicious.

[Don]

"Cook" :happycry:

[Gray Fox]

On a similar thread, the attached bottle caps that now seem to come with every drink. Half the time you have to pull the thing off to properly screw it back on again.

[Disco]

While we're on packaging that doesn't work can we add these shitty drink cartons with the little re-closable seesaw thing, I've never found one that opened properly before the whole thing tears off the carton and even if you open it up with a knife it pours terribly and leaves a load of juice sat on top when you close it.

[igor_balis]

While we're on packaging that doesn't work can we add these shitty drink cartons with the little re-closable seesaw thing, I've never found one that opened properly before the whole thing tears off the carton and even if you open it up with a knife it pours terribly and leaves a load of juice sat on top when you close it.

Yep these things are absolutely infuriating.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why do the Irish (north and south) never tell you who they are when they ring you up?

It's an absolutely baffling failure, they all do it, and every other country in the world has mastered it, only Ireland lags behind. This is obviously in a business context, not on mobs with caller ID.

[Spikey M]

Housing Association tenants do it too, Jim.

"Hi Spikey, who do I talk to about number 33 not picking up dog poo?

Thanks,
Tracy"

It annoys me so much that they don't get a reply asking who they are and what street they are talking about until my 10 day turnaround time has passed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Your real name is Spikey?!?!? :O

[Disco]

Cadburys Caramel bars. First time I've had one in years and ... where did all the chocolate go you grasping cunts?

[Spikey M]

The shrinkflation of the stagflation nation.

Say that 10 times fast.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meal deal shrinkflation is where the real scandal is at the moment. Yoghurt as a main, truly I plead with you.

[Yevrah]

What are you getting as a snack in that situation? Some grains of rice?

[phonics]

Sainsburys remains king on that front.

The best Ham and Cheese sandwich in the game. A scotch egg, Chicken Satay or Crisps and you can get a large Red Bull as a drink. Phenomenal stuff.

[igor_balis]

Boots was always decent when I went there. I like Tesco's, their chicken and bacon sub is a weird thing but really addictive. It's the weird mayoey sauce they put in it.

[-james-]

I cracked a bit of my tooth off on a bit of seeded bread last night.

It's a molar that has a root canal ages ago, apparently they are prone to it. Still, what the fuck?

[Don]

If it ain't those £5 loafs with rock crust, it'll be a hidden chicken bone that does mine. Always fear that as I've chipped one of my front ones and had it reconstructed with some shite that the dentist said would last about 2 years. That was 8 years ago :cool:

[Baz]

Didn’t have any tea so fancied ordering something. Wife wanted kebab so ordered one too. Can’t wait.

We're sorry, Euro Kebab. can't accept your order. You haven't been charged. Try ordering from somewhere else on Deliveroo.

Bastards. :moop: I’m just gonna make a butty instead, she’s having toast.

[Ben]

Try not using Deliveroo.

[Baz]

Try not using Deliveroo.

But I get Plus or whatever free with Prime so delivery is free. Uber eats is definitely superior though.

[Lofty]

Do they not have their own website?

[Boydy]

Went to big Tesco yesterday and pulled into a space at the edge of the car park. Some old bat a few spaces away had driven her car over the kerb into the hedge so that the front two wheels were up over the kerb. She was standing outside the car looking a bit shook up. I went over to see if she was okay and ask what had happened.

She'd thought she was in reverse and was about to back out but was actually in first and had gone up over the kerb into the hedge. She had tried reversing but it wouldn't come out. She gave me the keys and asked me to try but I had no luck either. I said she might need to call someone to get towed out. She rang her son in law but he lived about 20 miles away.

I went round the front of the car again to see what was stopping it being reversed out. Tried kicking/stamping down some of the thicker parts of the hedge that were in below the front bumper/panel and in around the wheels. Still nothing. Tried getting into the hedge and pushing it out. Still not budging. A couple of guys who were walking past then saw me trying to oush it and came to help. We eventually got it kind of rocking up the back of the kerb a bit and I said to keep going rocking it as we were building enough momentum to eventually get it up over the kerb. One of them was fucking useless and kept stopping saying it wasn't working while the other one kept going with rocking it. We eventually got it over the kerb and free.

One of them (the useful one) said to let it tick it over for a bit so I said to the old woman to sit there for five to ten minutes while I went into the shop. Came back out and told her to do a quick lap of the car park to make sure it was okay. She said it was grand so she'd be able to get home okay and off she went.

Well today I've got a fucking sore back. Lying on the sofa with deep heat on it now. Moral of the story - don't fucking try to help people. :moop:

[Giggles]

You still done right.

[randomlegend]

Idk why that's so fucking funny but it is.

[wullie]

I was sure that was ending with the woman being killed crashing her broken car.

[Raoul Duke]

I was sure that was ending with the woman being killed crashing her broken car.

Or him fingering her around the back of the hedge

[Shindig]

"Okay, try reverse now." As he's standing right behind the car.

[Boydy]

I was sure that was ending with the woman being killed crashing her broken car.
Honestly not sure she should be driving.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That reverse/forward thing is common in the very old I think, it did for Richie Benaud.

[phonics]

Happened a couple months ago round here, thought he was hitting the brake and hit the accelerator killed 1 and severely injured 3. Didn't even get charged.

[Ben]

The fossils are a fucking nightmare on the road. Mandatory retests at a certain age need to become a thing.

[Pepe]

Or go to the gym so that a miniscule amount of physical work does not wreck you.

[Lofty]

Not sure how being jacked with a porridge brain helps matters.

[Spikey M]

Not sure how being jacked with a porridge brain helps matters.

Apparently Dementia is colloquially known as Diabetes type 3 by those in the know, such is the overlap between Dementia and Obesity.

So, yeah. Roid up these pensioner cunts and save Boydy's back.

[Ian]

I was very glad that both my parents voluntarily stopped driving as age and ill-health came to them. Must be a pain in the arse if you've got parents who are clearly past it but refuse to pack it in and you have to have the row with them about it.

[Boydy]

That reverse/forward thing is common in the very old I think, it did for Richie Benaud.

They weren't even close on her gear layout though. First gear was top left, reverse was bottom right.

Doubt she started it in first gear and jumped forward enough to get up that kerb either.

[Boydy]

Also, when the car was eventually free and she went for a lap of the car park and then set off, she was revving the fuck out of it. I think the burning clutch smell might just happen with her normal driving.

[Shindig]

Burning rubber in the car park to make sure it still works. :cool:

[Boydy]

There was no rubber burning, just the clutch. She set off about 5mph.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was sure that was ending with the woman being killed crashing her broken car.


Or him fingering her around the back of the hedge

Could easily have been both of those.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They weren't even close on her gear layout though. First gear was top left, reverse was bottom right.

Doubt she started it in first gear and jumped forward enough to get up that kerb either.

I know, I mean they're just so confused they don't know what they've done. I'm sure all of us have done it at some point but we notice within 0.005 seconds and change, rather than ploughing on in a daze.

[Dquincy]

I did this when I was 16. Drove straight into the back of my neighbour's car driving my mum's car. Was a tad awkward.

[-james-]

Maybe I posted about it at the time, but someone I know was outside their work having a vape a couple of years ago, when a car went into first instead of reverse and pinned him to the wall. Amputation above the knee. :|

[Lofty]

And they say vaping's safer.

[Yevrah]

Maybe I posted about it at the time, but someone I know was outside their work having a vape a couple of years ago, when a car went into first instead of reverse and pinned him to the wall. Amputation above the knee. :|

I always think about this happening when I go behind parked cars that are close to a wall. Having heard that story I'm never going to do it again now.

[niko_cee]

Children bringing home plants from school.

May have just snapped the stem of a sunflower moving it into a bigger pot. :face:

[Baz]

Wait what. At what age does that become a thing?

[Mike]

Wait what. At what age does that become a thing?
Our reception and Y2 both do it.

[niko_cee]

No idea but I have been blighted by sunflowers since pre-school and now some sort of bean and load of as yet indeterminate leafed things have been added into the mix.

The leaves on the sunflower have gone mega limp in about 10 minutes. :uhoh:

[Foe]

Sunflowers are sold in shops right, like hamsters and Guinea pigs they “live forever”.

[niko_cee]

Tried that one year when I binned the seed but inadvertently bought dwarf sunflower seeds.

I've bet the farm on some electrical tape [apparently this can work] and cable ties.

[Shindig]

Just get them one of these.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61GLxviXnOL._AC_UF894,1000_QL80_.jpg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Smashed a glass and chipped the glass turntable plate in my microwave whilst making breakfast this morning.

Brilliant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Been building a barbeque and near the end I realised on of the panels is on the wrong way round (the one where I attach the charcoal tray to so I'm guessing it would stop me from raising/lowering said tray) but two of the four screws attaching it will not budge at all.

Absolutely SEETHING.

[Ben]

Acetone and transmission fluid mixed will loosen anything. Assuming you’re not a geek and don’t have that lying around, heat it up then blast it with WD40.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Acetone and transmission fluid mixed will loosen anything. Assuming you’re not a geek and don’t have that lying around, heat it up then blast it with WD40.

Blasted with WD-40, left it for like an hour and then took a lighter to the screws. Came out easily after that.

Still haven't finished the BBQ due to sports on now, proper fiddly piece of shit.

[Danny]

https://i.imgur.com/wjB11tT.png

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's standing, I'll take it.

[Boydy]

Someone on my street seems to have a motorbike now and they've started parking it between my house and next door as there's a lamp post to lock it to. It's been sitting ticking over for the past hour and it's so fucking noisy.

[Waffdon]

Credit scores. I don’t get it. Mines bombed by 100 the other day. No idea why. Haven’t done anything and credit card paid in full as with every other month. Got this:

Your total credit balance (not including mortgages) has increased. This means your Experian Credit Score has gone down.

A balance was recorded on your Capital One Account balance £456previously £28.

The total balance on all your accounts excluding any mortgages has increased which has had a negative influence to your score. If you reduce the balance on any account which is not a mortgage it can help to improve your score.


I spent less last month than the 3 previous months. £550 last month compared to £700-£900. But because the date of the statement had more on it (statements are like the 10th of the month for some reason) they think I’m using a lot more.

Here I thought using a credit card and clearing it every month was meant to be beneficial to your credit score.

Edit: actually I don’t have a single statement with a higher balance than £200 in the last 6 months so fuck knows

[Kikó]

Ccj 👏

[niko_cee]

I recently got hit with a few enforcement notices from some bailiff twats for some historic unpaid council tax. The council in question had unilaterally altered the accurate forwarding address they had for me, which they had sent stuff to that I had then paid, to some other shit and then summonsed me etc. Me popping up on the UK electoral register probably tipped these twats off. managed to sort it without having to pay the bailiff fees, but still extremely annoying. No idea what that does to my credit rating as I have literally never checked it but I've always managed to sail through most lending criteria test type things where I guess it might show.

[Ben]

When we moved out of our old house last year, apparently the buyer (who bought it as a buy to let) didn't feel like he needed to pay British Gas for the few months until he finally got a tenant. So he's ignoring the bailiffs and they keep sending us letters asking for the money. Told them several times already we didn't own the house for the period they're chasing but it's in one ear and out the other.

[Manc]

Victoria Derbyshire. Newsnight is unwatchable atm.

[Shindig]

Every time I pick up some milk, I have to check the bottom of the container for leaks. I run my hand under the bottom and, if it's dry, I take it. There is always one. Yesterday, I picked up one with a leak. :moop:

[Spikey M]

This has literally never happened to me.

[Shindig]

I'm thinking it's something specific to my local Tesco. I never used to think about it until I started seeing milk puddles in store.

[Magic]

My daughter projectile vomited in the hallway yesterday, then the cat pissed on the living room carpet because I locked him in the living room whilst I was cleaning it up and he couldn't get to the litter box in the kitchen.

So I put baking soda all over the hall to absorb the sick smell and he pissed on that too. Little cunt.

[randomlegend]

He's mocking your piss phobia. Donned by a cat.

[Magic]

Toilet chad.

[Giggles]

I'm fairy sure that not liking piss isn't a bad thing.

[randomlegend]

I'm fairy sure that not liking piss isn't a bad thing.

He's not scared of piss, he's scared of pissing.

[Magic]

I'm not scared of it I just can't, at busy urinals. That fucks me off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm not scared of it I just can't, at busy urinals. That fucks me off.

Pee shyness is nothing to be ashamed of, brother.

[Giggles]

Urinals are like bar stools. You never go directly beside another man.

[Mike]

My wife went to see Taylor Swift at Anfield, where they used some men’s toilets as women’s, and she was baffled by the trough style urinals, and how we just all stand together and pee basically on the floor.

[Giggles]

There's no thread for good things so this will do. The Guinness nitrosurge is a great bit of stuff, and it does not fuck me off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Urinals are like bar stools. You never go directly beside another man.

Oh 100% but it appears that loads of people break that rule if it's busy.

I'll always opt for a stall because my bladder can dry up at a urinal.

[Magic]

Pee shyness is nothing to be ashamed of, brother.

Thanks How, I feel so much better now. Any other social leviathans want to join us? Shinners? Yev?

[wullie]

I'll always take a cubicle if one's free, that's mostly due to fear of wayward splashback from a urinal neighbour.

[Magic]

A big problem up here is they are almost always engaged for nasal habits.

[Ben]

Was going to say the queues for the traps are for the nose beers around me as well.

[Dquincy]

There's no thread for good things so this will do. The Guinness nitrosurge is a great bit of stuff, and it does not fuck me off.

Agreed, great update on the product. My dad says it's better then the Guinness you get on draught in pubs.

[Dquincy]

My wife went to see Taylor Swift at Anfield, where they used some men’s toilets as women’s, and she was baffled by the trough style urinals, and how we just all stand together and pee basically on the floor.

Wonder if she used the urinal. Some women have, mostly when pissed up.

[Baz]

I'll always take a cubicle if one's free, that's mostly due to fear of wayward splashback from a urinal neighbour.People think you’re taking drugs btw

Oh I see it was covered.

The ‘big club’ in town here always has two queues into the toilets - one for the urinals to have a wee and one for the cubicles to sniff drugs.

[Giggles]

People think you’re taking drugs btw

Oh I see it was covered.

The ‘big club’ in town here always has two queues into the toilets - one for the urinals to have a wee and one for the cubicles to sniff drugs.

That's the time you'd want to get into one and leave an absolute rope in it.

[randomlegend]

Wonder if she used the urinal. Some women have, mostly when pissed up.

Great info mate.

[Baz]

About a month ago there were not one but TWO copies of Devvo’s book, That Book You Never Did Need, for sale on eBay. They were about £60 and at the time I couldn’t justify it.

i now have the money and it’s back to being unobtainable, and i likely won’t see another copy for sale for another ten years, if ever.

furious.

[Lofty]

Checked in with the old man today to see how he's doing since he lives down south. Apparently due to a neck ailment he is reluctant to have operated on he's traipsing around barefoot everywhere as that is some alternative healing thing he's found somewhere, resulting in him having a stand off with the local Waitrose manager :moop:

[Spikey M]

A new Chippy has just opened round my way. Is everyone just deliberately taking the piss with their prices these days?

https://i.ibb.co/KD6Lq1W/Screenshot-20240702-153822-Just-Eat.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/xL43R83/Screenshot-20240702-154150-Just-Eat.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/zZdrdbB/Screenshot-20240702-154213-Just-Eat.jpg

[phonics]

*Man orders through a delivery service where people up prices to take advantage of lazy fatties*

"INFLATION IS OUT OF CONTROL"

[Spikey M]

*man clicks link posted on local Facebook page to check out new local restaurant*

*UNBEARABLE AND UNJUSTIFIABLY SMUG CUNT SEIZES HIS OPPORTUNITY*

[Jimmy Floyd]

My local, in SURREY no less, does cod for £5.80, rock/haddock/plaice for £7.80, and chips for £2.90. The people of Essex are getting scammed.

[Spikey M]

My local, in SURREY no less, does cod for £5.80, rock/haddock/plaice for £7.80, and chips for £2.90. The people of Essex are getting scammed.

That's about what the old one was charging here. I could drive into Shoebury *shudders* and probably pay less still.

I don't think this joint will be around for too long.

[niko_cee]

The lack of battered burgers in English chip shops is shameful. No need to worry about dickhead fish prices with those bad boys.

[phonics]

*man clicks link posted on local Facebook page to check out new local restaurant*

*UNBEARABLE AND UNJUSTIFIABLY SMUG CUNT SEIZES HIS OPPORTUNITY*

:D

[Spikey M]

The lack of battered burgers in English chip shops is shameful. No need to worry about dickhead fish prices with those bad boys.

I complained to one of the Chinese Chip Shops about the lack of Munchie Boxes when I was living in Southend and they had them on the Menu within a month. They weren't a patch on the Brummie ones I enjoyed at Uni, but needs must.

Be the change you want to see Neeks. Get whining to your local.

[niko_cee]

The only chippy I've been to here was in the extortionate price bracket. £12 cod and chips territory. I think if I asked them to batter a burger they'd probably just ask me to leave. Doubt they would even have the burger van tier frozen shit to actually even attempt it.

I've seen a few more down market ones so maybe I'll give them a whizz. Unfortunately I'm the only person in my family who really likes stuff from the chippy so it's not a regular thing. More like a secret shame if I'm ever out and about on my own and can sneak one in.

[Kikó]

I've noticed here with a food apps (especially the döner place) that the price can almost be marked up by €5-6 compared to just going to the place. I'm hoping it's to pay drivers properly but it's a massive piss take to be paying €18 for a kebab when it's €9 at the shop.

[phonics]

My first trip to Berlin had Kebabs for 3.90. What a city.

[niko_cee]

On the kebab front I've recently been introduced to tantuni (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tantuni) which are amazing.

[Kikó]

My first trip to Berlin had Kebabs for 3.90. What a city.

One of the great recent controversies is the rising price of kebabs. https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/07/germans-grill-olaf-scholz-over-soaring-cost-of-doner-kebabs

[Pepe]

The place I've been using for streaming has closed. Now to go look for another place. What a drag.

[Danny]

LLS? Looks like they spun up under another name

[Pepe]

What would that name be?

I've found other sites, but I liked the way they showed the schedules.

[Danny]

maze spin.live

Same damn site :D

[Pepe]

:cool:

[Pepe]

I just understood the name lol.

[mo]

Glasses broke today. Was cleaning the lenses and one half just fell off onto the desk. I want to say they snapped, but that implies excessive pressure or force. Had to blutac them together and wear safety goggles over them to drive home.

Have now drilled holes in the bridge, put a paper clip in and super glued them back together to get me through the next week or so. It's not perfect by my spares are not my most recent ones from 2 years ago, but a really old pair from 10 years ago, for some reason.

[Raoul Duke]

Glasses broke today. Was cleaning the lenses and one half just fell off onto the desk. I want to say they snapped, but that implies excessive pressure or force. Had to blutac them together and wear safety goggles over them to drive home.

Have now drilled holes in the bridge, put a paper clip in and super glued them back together to get me through the next week or so. It's not perfect by my spares are not my most recent ones from 2 years ago, but a really old pair from 10 years ago, for some reason.

Goddamn I wish you were pulled over by the cops while wearing this get up. Instantly going on a register and having your hard drives confiscated

[Lofty]

I'm fed up of mine, got an appointment for contacts later this month. Too much of a fanny for laser eye. I had contacts years ago but they weren't great, supposedly they have improved in the 15 years since.

[Shindig]

I stopped wearing my contacts during the pandemic. They weren't feeling great but the vision was sharp with them in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I tried contacts many years ago.

When testing them I had so much trouble getting them out and at one point someone else had to remove them as I just couldn't do it.

[Baz]

I tried contacts many years ago.

When testing them I had so much trouble getting them out and at one point someone else had to remove them as I just couldn't do it.
Happens to most. Perseverance is a must.

[Lewis]

A lass at my work has a -11.5 prescription and I tried her glasses on today. It was like having a seizure.

[niko_cee]

Has windows got rid of the calculator app, in favour of some web based wank, in its most recent updates?

:mad:

[Baz]

Has windows got rid of the calculator app, in favour of some web based wank, in its most recent updates?

:mad:
I don't think so?

Here: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/store/apps/windows-calculator/9wzdncrfhvn5

Oh and in the spirit of this thread, I've lost my TV remote. Handy I can use my phone to control my TV, but god WHERE IS IT!!!

[niko_cee]

Cheers.

Not sure why loads of random things seem to have disappeared off my laptop. The Nvidia control panel had been largely removed as well.

[niko_cee]

Right, Paint has gone as well. Why have all my basic apps disappeared?

[Ben]

If you Win+R then type mspaint.exe, does it open?

[niko_cee]

I had to re-download/install the app. The windows/microsoft store app is also completely borked so I can only access it in a browser.

[Pepe]

Sounds like your computer is trolling you. Are you sure you didn't get a virus or something? Are viruses still a thing?

[niko_cee]

The only thing I can think it is related to is I have recently cloned/replaced the SSD but that sort of thing has never happened in the past. The appdata folder is still in the same secret place although the troubleshooter seems to think temporary internet files have moved.

I don't think it is anything malicious.

[niko_cee]

It seems to have been a problem for other people with office apps, but I don't use/have them. I think it is related to the store app as I point blank can't access that at the moment. It's not really a major issue, just weird.

Had to go into the powershell admin panel and paste some prompts and now all is well.

Felt like a right 90s h4x0r.

[SincereTheRebel]

Tried to blow out a candle that was melting some black scented wax. Done fucked up all the way up.

https://i.ibb.co/XkS5Nrj/PXL-20240715-223016219.jpg (https://ibb.co/NnZNQdt)
image upload (https://imgbb.com/)

[Shindig]

That's one hell of a sneeze.

[Dark Soldier]

You're supposed to waft it mate, not windmill it.

[Spikey M]

Passports. Why do they have to make the rules around them so awkward? I have a year left on mine, but 6 months of that were carried over from my last one. Some countries allow that, some don't. Some - like Turkey - just don't mention it at all. Which I assume means they don't care about it, but it's a pretty high stakes game, because if they don't allow it, then I need a new one because it expires 2 days too soon.

I wouldn't mind, but we already need 2 new ones at £90 a pop. Wankers.

[Manc]

Running late for work so I hired an Uber. Shortly after setting off the driver remarks that he doesn't know this city very well and I'd have to help him. Genuinely thought he was joking as two navs were on the go. Nope. Had to instruct him the whole way there. Country's finished.

[Lofty]

Nothing worse, I give 5 stars and tip extra for silence the whole trip.

[SincereTheRebel]

Is there an option within the app yet, to request silence during the trip?

[igor_balis]

Mate's stag do is in a couple of weeks, just been informed that me and 3 other lads will be sharing a room with 1 double and 2 singles. Apparently this was all agreed previously, but I've basically said I really don't want to share a bed with anyone. I get the impression everyone else has sorta read my message and gone "ohh ffs Igor", and a couple of the other guys were quick to say they don't mind sharing. I dunno, I feel like based on the reaction, I'm probably being unreasonable.

Apparently it was decided to make it "much cheaper", but we're only paying £150 each for the two nights, and I sort of feel like with us all in our early 30s and earning reasonably decent wages, it seems like a pointlessly tight thing to do - sure, if you're a smelly student interrailing, whatever, but I'm surprised nobody else thought "actually can we not just all pay a bit more and have our own beds".

Obviously, the wedding itself is being held in a gigantic stately home, and is clearly going to be costing tens of thousands of pounds. The husband-to-be lives about 15 miles away now, and his fiance wouldn't let him drop off the invites for the 5 or so of us living back home when we were playing board games or some shit, because she paid for some calligrapher to hand-write all the envelopes, so he had to then come back another night just to drop off our invites, lol.

[Yevrah]

You're not being unreasonable. Pull out and sack it off.

[igor_balis]

You're not being unreasonable. Pull out and sack it off.

nah, my whinging has gotten me one of the single beds with the not totally unreasonable justification that I wasn't actually there the evening they discussed it. i just thought it was weird they decided to do that in the first place.

[Yevrah]

If there are no money worries it is weird and a red flag for the rest of the stag do.

[SvN]

Red flag :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

My idiot brother, trying to cut costs on his wedding later in the year, initially asked our sister if she'd be willing to share a bedroom at the venue with our aunt, who's in her seventies and very prim and proper. The combination of lolling and shock must have nearly sent the Earth off its axis. Once everyone's earning a decent living, seek maximum comfort at all times, unless you're deliberately slumming it at a festival or whatever.

[Lofty]

The last stag do I went on half the attendees were mainly buzzing about the peace and quiet of their own hotel room away from their families for the weekend.

[Boydy]

Every online shopping site becoming or adding a "marketplace". The fucking Tesco app has it now. B&Q do it. The Range does it. There's more but I can't remember them all right now.

I do not want to see loads of cheap no-name brands from some fucking dropshipper. I'm on your site because I want tonsee the stuff that you as a business actually stock and sell. If I wanted cheap Chinese shite, I'd go to Amazon which I've mostly had to stop using because I had to wade through tons of cheap Chinese shite.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, I do not know why companies do this and I'd love an explanation. It absolutely killed Play.com for me (and presumably everybody else as I don't think it exists any more and died well before streaming took over).

[niko_cee]

Play was killed by lvcr being abolished, but not before they duped Rakuten into massively overpaying for it.

[Yevrah]

Is that what led to all the reseller bollocks then, as they had to try and make their money somehow?

[niko_cee]

Probably, it's just a cut they get isn't it? Like steam being infinitely more valuable to valve than bothering to make games, everyone sees eBay and thinks I'll have a bit of that.

[wullie]

Play.com in its pomp was the true golden age of the internet.

[Lofty]

Yeah Play was more a victim of physical media becoming niche wasnt it?

[Yevrah]

Yeah Play was more a victim of physical media becoming niche wasnt it?

Nah, it died well before that happened.

[wullie]

I remember they used to offer region-free DVDs which by now sounds like something from the 50s would have when I was a kid.

[Spikey M]

I have been sent completely the wrong MuscleFood order and it's not even good. No meat whatsoever, just a load if their shit microwave meals and a couple of Pizzas. I'm hoping they'll let me keep it and send me what I actually ordered, but it's still a pain in the arse. No steak for me tonight. :(

[Yevrah]

EON and their absolute bandit practices when it comes to setting your monthly Direct Debit payment amount.

My account has been in credit with these fucks for years now, ranging from £200+ as a minimum to as much as over £700.

Current state of play is £350 in credit and not a radiator needed in sight, so you can imagine my surprise when I received an email saying my monthly DD has increased from £87 to £130. Now normally I let this shit go, but they've done it too many times now so fuck that.

Email sent saying please don't change it.

Reply received saying a payment adequacy review has been carried out and the increase is to avoid me getting into debt

Email sent saying you have £350 of my money, don't change it.

Reply received saying we can reduce the revised amount by 10% so it'll be an increase to £120 instead

Email sent saying do not do that.

Reply received asking for up to date meter readings and my confirmation that the direct debit can increase

Email sent saying I've supplied the website with actuals and asking them to confirm that they will not change my direct debit.

They must be sat on millions upon millions of excess cash as a result of this shit and trousering interest left, right and centre. Absolute shitehawks.

[Ben]

Are you on a fixed? Just jump ship. Obviously they all do it but at least you can go into a new supplier on a more reasonable DD amount.

I've been quite happy with Octopus, at least as far as energy suppliers go anyway.

[Waffdon]

That Katie price photo may have ruined my year

[Spikey M]

Mine too, but technically you did that by making me go find it.

[Shindig]

I assume this is the one outside court. The drawing of her attending the hearing with her knees up on the chair is even dumber.

[Spikey M]

No, this particular photo is of her naked on a bed with somebodies shit on her stomach.

[Yevrah]

For all of your Katie Price evolution to horror show needs:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/5723106/katie-price-plastic-cosmetic-surgery-botched-face-timeline/

[Shindig]

Oh. That's worse.

[Mike]

She's no Lorraine Kelly, eh Baz

[Yevrah]

I think she's about the same age as me, maybe a little older and I remember thinking how absolutely stunning she was when she broke through, it's tragic what she's become and probably not all her fault.

[Yevrah]

I missed Spikey's last post before I posted that link to the Sun article. :sick:

[niko_cee]

She'll do well to make it to 50, unless she already has, in which case, fair play to her.

[Bam]

She is 46.

[Baz]

I wonder if DM still thinks she’s the best woman in the world.

[Kikó]

Having facial surgery unless completely necessary seems like the slippery path to looking less and less like a human as you age. I don't know which pictures these celebs are looking at and going "this person with surgery looks great" because the vast majority look like freaks.

[Lofty]

Cher looks plastic but she also doesnt look 78 so I guess it's worked? Though Cassandra Peterson is a far more natural but amazing 74 :wub:

[SincereTheRebel]

Having facial surgery unless completely necessary seems like the slippery path to looking less and less like a human as you age. I don't know which pictures these celebs are looking at and going "this person with surgery looks great" because the vast majority look like freaks.

Agreed. They all seem to look worse. She looks like a refurbished brartz doll that you throw out, because it isnt fit for human use

[Spikey M]

There's probably a sweet spot that I assume the likes of Amanda Holden occupy, but it very quickly oversteps a line where you barely look human.

It's getting more and more popular too, flying back from Turkey last year was like being on an airlift out of a disaster zone, bandages and swelling left, right and centre.

[Baz]

Let people do what they want.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hardly a good approach if people are mutilating themselves due to their warped perception of societal expectations.

[Spikey M]

Let people do what they want.

We are and look at the state of the place.

Bring back shaming.

[Lofty]

Let people do what they want.

The problem is they go to Turkey for bargain butchery because these celebs and influencers tout their gifted procedures at them then it all goes pear shaped back in the UK and the NHS foots the bill.

A bit like getting a tradesman in you don't get the cheapest quote in if the work is questionable, you pay more for the one with the good track record so you don't wake up and your ceiling's leaking.

[SincereTheRebel]

We are and look at the state of the place.

Bring back shaming.

It keeps us all in order.

[Boydy]

We are and look at the state of the place.

Bring back shaming.

100%.

Too many people don't have any shame any more.

[Lofty]

Ebay headache, selling a load of my brother in law's old game stuff as he was happy to let it go in the bin but his parents asked me to ebay it instead. I split stuff into joblots, one was original Xbox games. I checked the discs were the right games in the right cases but it appears one game was actually a NTSC game in a PAL case, I didn't clock this when listing 23 seperate lots.

Buyer won them at £15, got on to me about how he mainly wanted that particular game so that's why he bought them. I apologised and refunded him £5, I thought that was overly generous given there were 7 items in the bundle. They've complained and said they want a return, acting like I am a weirdo for offering a part refund.

As far as I'm concerned they bought the bundle so a proportionate refund is correct, don't buy a load of games if you only want one then say you don't want any because that one is incorrect. Am I in the wrong? Tempted to double down.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're in the right, he could have said that about any of the seven if he found something wrong with them, he's just being a cheapskate.

[Yevrah]

Having won my battle with Eon (who at the third time of asking agreed not to change my direct debit) I now have Just Eat in my sights. They issued me a credit to my account after a bad delivery, which does not match the value of the order or any constituent parts of it, but worse they've now told me that they can't issue an actual cash money refund as they can't reverse the credit on my account. A £4bn revenue generating business claiming they can't issue a refund is absolutely preposterous - I'd respect that sort of sharp practice more if they just came out and admitted they want me to use the (partial) credit to spend more with them. So... fuck that shit. Email sent and the ball is in their court.

[Boydy]

Noticed three weird transactions on my current account last night. The bank's fraud report phoneline was supposedly open 24/7 so I tried ringing. Automated bollocks at the beginning, wnter your DOB, account number etc. Then say what it is you're calling for so they can direct you to the right department. Then got to the right department - "sorry, this department is closed, our opening ours are 8am to 6pm" or some shit.

Right, fine. I'd frozen the card so the fraudsters can't use it any more. Ring this morning. [Boomer voice] Guy I speak to can barely speak English, not entirely sure this isn't still somehow part of a scam [/Boomer voice]. Tell him what transactions aren't mine. "Okay, those are still pending, we can't do anything about them yet. You'll have to wait until they've processed and then call us back to speak to the fraud team."

What an absolute pain in the hole. They've still not processed. I just want this shit sorted and to get a new card ordered as soon as possible.

No idea how someone has got my card details either. I've not used any dodgy sites or anything that I recall.

[Manc]

Mellberg

[Pepe]

:lol:

[Kikó]

Noticed three weird transactions on my current account last night. The bank's fraud report phoneline was supposedly open 24/7 so I tried ringing. Automated bollocks at the beginning, wnter your DOB, account number etc. Then say what it is you're calling for so they can direct you to the right department. Then got to the right department - "sorry, this department is closed, our opening ours are 8am to 6pm" or some shit.

Right, fine. I'd frozen the card so the fraudsters can't use it any more. Ring this morning. [Boomer voice] Guy I speak to can barely speak English, not entirely sure this isn't still somehow part of a scam [/Boomer voice]. Tell him what transactions aren't mine. "Okay, those are still pending, we can't do anything about them yet. You'll have to wait until they've processed and then call us back to speak to the fraud team."

What an absolute pain in the hole. They've still not processed. I just want this shit sorted and to get a new card ordered as soon as possible.

No idea how someone has got my card details either. I've not used any dodgy sites or anything that I recall.

We had someone book a holiday on the wife's credit card and tried to cancel the card over the weekend. No English support on the weekend and bounced across different German speakers who can't help us. Had to wait until this morning to get English speakers and then had to go to a branch to hand in a refund form. Germany are still miles behind on digitisation.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can imagine the Germans not even understanding credit card fraud.

"But zey booked ze holiday on a card, but it vas not zeir own card? Ich verstehe nicht."

[Dquincy]

There's probably a sweet spot that I assume the likes of Amanda Holden occupy, but it very quickly oversteps a line where you barely look human.


Not sure Amanda Holden is the sweet spot. She looks like a freak these days. Still would, mind. But I'd also still do Katie Price if she wiped that shit off her stomach.

P.s. really enjoyed the Yevrah crusade against big corp. Please can you target some more.

[Baz]

Painted my shed (this colour (https://www.wickes.co.uk/Cuprinol-Garden-Shades-Matt-Wood-Treatment---Sweet-Sundae---125ml/p/221681?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADs4IsYwUhiE0Z106EjCc_i2WUBfc&gclid=CjwKCAjwoJa2BhBPEiwA0l0ImMJa9neo7zIRxn0NvKqh ugRPTu0634iTcBCAt85moaa9oGnxN8svnBoCsdsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) :rosebud: ) and it looks like the heavens are about to open. Hopefully not, cos the washings also out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ on a bike.

Rain would be a real blessing.

[Yevrah]

Baz. :D I absolutely love that you do not give a single fuck...

[Yevrah]

I should also add I feel for the retailer who stocks that paint, has aged stock problem written all over it.

[Baz]

I should also add I feel for the retailer who stocks that paint, has aged stock problem written all over it.

I did get it relatively cheap from some unknown DIY website.

Needs a few more coats (I didn’t bother doing any prep, just painted the old flakes) but the rain has indeed started.

https://i.imgur.com/NWmIEqw_d.webp?maxwidth=1520&fidelity=grand

[niko_cee]

I painted a small picnic bench that colour once and was going to say it needs a bunch of coats for the wood to not show through and quickly goes a bit shit looking as it weathers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have no such concern for DIY stockists, they must sell out of that paint doing second coats on Live/Laugh/Love living room pieces alone.

[Baz]

I don’t think my shed has anything looked anything other than ‘a bit shit’ so I don’t mind.

Plan is to replace it with a plastic one that’s twice the size next Summer but it depends how the bookie does.

Can’t believe you all clicked the link without hesitation. Should have found it on Amazon!

[Giggles]

Your neighbours must fucking hate you.

[Yevrah]

I cannot understand the mind of a man who would paint his shed that colour, but the reality is that I don't need to and it's hilarious either way.

[Pepe]

It's a good color. Not everything needs to be gray or brown you grim bastards.

[Ben]

Paint sprayers are where it's at. Even the shitty cheap Ronseal ones always "on offer" make light work of sheds and fences.

[Manc]

That shed is a war crime.

[Ben]

It's the door for me. :D

[randomlegend]

I did get it relatively cheap from some unknown DIY website.

Needs a few more coats (I didn’t bother doing any prep, just painted the old flakes) but the rain has indeed started.

https://i.imgur.com/NWmIEqw_d.webp?maxwidth=1520&fidelity=grand

Looks like you coloured it in with a highlighter :D

[Danny]

Started with the door and ran out bottom left.


Edit: Having serious deja vu about Baz posting his shed. Though maybe not a colour this garish

[niko_cee]

I like the pink lock.

[Spikey M]

That looks so shit Baz. :D

[Gray Fox]

I think you also need your fence panels to be the same shade.

Belter of a shed now.

[niko_cee]

Alternate yellow and an aqua-green on the fence panels.

[Mike]

As a man currently without a shed, I’d love Baz’s shed.

[Baz]

Started with the door and ran out bottom left.


Edit: Having serious deja vu about Baz posting his shed. Though maybe not a colour this garishCertainly did run out at the bottom left. That’s only had one coat, but I’ve another tin to use on Friday.

The door has also only had one coat but it was in better nick to start with, cos my dad made me a new door about 2 years ago, so the quality of the wood is better.

The panel along the top is also one of my dad’s repair jobs, and also made of better wood, so probably looks better too.

And I think my shed was pointed out when I posted my scarecrow?


I like the pink lock.A touch of class, keeping my lawn mower safe.

[Danny]

And I think my shed was pointed out when I posted my scarecrow?


That must have been it :nodd:

We ended up getting a plastic shed a couple of years ago. Great investment in the end. Managed to get all the yard stuff out of the garage in there. Just to fill the garage with more shit :D

[Lofty]

To be fair you'd feel like a twat if you got caught breaking into that monstrosity so maybe Baz's logic works in a perverse way.

[Pepe]

Paint the entire house that color Baz. Don't listen to these cunts.

[phonics]

I might paint my balcony pink in solidarity with Baz as I have no shed to speak of.

I'm more mad at the different shades of fence than the shed.