The little things in life that fuck you off

[Manc]

Are ye fellas going natural or using any grooming gadgets? I bought a balm I'm yet to try. I've been told it's an improvement upon the oil I was buying.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Rock-Sicilian-Caffeine-Awakening/dp/B00UL4LU2M/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1450645953&sr=8-3&keywords=beard+shampoo

To clean it.

Most of the time I go natural but on some occasions I'll put this balm through it:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beard-Balm-Percy-Nobleman-Conditioner/dp/B00JVSYM60/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1450645993&sr=8-2-spons&keywords=beard+balm&psc=1

Oil is for shorter beards.

[Manc]

That's the exact balm I've just purchased. Woof.

[niko_cee]

What the fuck is going on in here?

[Giggles]

What the fuck is going on in here?

Manc and Mahow are just about to do each others eyelashes and give each other a reach around once their handcream dries in.

[Baz]

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd assumed that the modern trend for beards was based around people being too lazy to shave, but if you're going to start grooming them you're just a twat.

[mugbull]

Especially Mahow. I know a couple of people who purposely look like shit to piss off the people who give them personal/fashion advice, which is the most retarded thing ive ever heard. Standing up to the man etc

[Disco]

Mine is for laziness, and washing it is the only upkeep it requires.

[Shindig]

A beard requires way too much effort for me. A lad I work with has his grow back in within 2 days but mine takes two weeks to get beard-like.

[simon]

Is there a worse topic of conversation than how someone maintains their beard?

[Toby]

You had any pizza recently?

[simon]

No, and I'm a better person for it.

[simon]

Though the pizza chat was usually tongue in cheek and a great distraction technique from mert and his grinding/political activities. You bastard.

[Toby]

The pizza chat isn't the boring bit, I was flawlessly baiting you into mentioning your weight loss.

[simon]

:D

I technically didn't mention it.

[phonics]

Nasal hair. I must yank out 30-50 of the fuckers (to my eternal misery) a month and yet it still looks like a small Amazonian forest is growing out of there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Customer service.

I tried to call O2 twice yesterday as my bill wasn't paid and I was cut off both times just as I was about to speak to someone. The seethe having spent so long on hold and it happening twice was incredible.

I decided that today I'd use the live chat.

Payment was due on the 24th (who the fuck tries to take payment on Christmas fucking Eve btw?) and I didn't have enough in my account to cover the bill, when is the latest I could pay it off without incurring any charges etc?
Sir, I see that your payment was due on the 24th you must pay it immediately!
...

He (or the manager he apparently spoke to) didn't seem to care when I asked to postpone the payment until January 4th though.

[Shindig]

Banks still work on Christmas Eve, Mahow.

[Lewis]

My mother doing my head in has really peaked over the past few weeks. She just talks absolute shit at me, narrating her life to me or starting conversations like we're spies exchanging something in a park.

*comes into the room I'm in*
'They'll have to pay for that won't they?'
'Who?'
'Those people on the news.'
*gestures towards my laptop as if to say 'I'M NOT WATCHING THE FUCKING NEWS'*
'Haven't you seen it?'
'What? What are you on about?'
'Those people in the floods.'
'What about them? Pay for what?'
'If you can't even have a conversation...'

We're at the point where her voice grates on me like whichever alarm tone used to wake you up for another bollocks day at school. Which jobs house you that you can you just turn up at?

[Boydy]

:D

[ScousePig]

My dad has this annoying habit of phrasing the same question several times in one sentence/piece of speech.

I lose patience straight away. Which question do you want me to answer?

[Lewis]

'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
'I don't know.'
'Haven't you seen any of it?'
'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
'Yeah it did yeah.'
'What?'
'It didn't open.'
'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.

[Boydy]

Does she go out much to talk nonsense to other folk? Maybe she's lonely.

[Lewis]

She does, and doesn't seem to talk as much crap when I see/hear her with other people (boring shit, but not illogical nonsense). I can only rule out trolling because she seems to sulk whenever I shut it down, so I've no idea what motivates it.

[Shindig]

"I dunno, son. I think we're drifting apart..."

[Baz]

Poor Lewis' mum. :(

I reckon we'd all [secretly] think living with Lewis for a bit would be a laugh, but I'm really not so sure it would be.

[Spoonsky]

We're at the point where her voice grates on me like whichever alarm tone used to wake you up for another bollocks day at school.

Bloody spot-on.

I'm fine with my parents normally but when we travel it can get to me. It's worse when we're out here with her 89-year-old parents, as the standards (as well as the volume) of communication decrease pretty heavily.

[Foe]

Attempted to update my dad's iPad using iTunes (it's old and can't be updated using the iPad).

The update failed and now I can't use, update or restore the iPad so have to take it into an Apple store so a 'technician' can fix it. Cheers Apple. :mad:

[phonics]

What happens if you hold the power button and the home button for a period of time?

[Boydy]

Screenshot

[phonics]

If you hold it longer then it should reset.

[mugbull]

'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
'I don't know.'
'Haven't you seen any of it?'
'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
'Yeah it did yeah.'
'What?'
'It didn't open.'
'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.

My Mom's the same, except she's a vigorously racist social democrat ("Bernie and Trump are the only worthwhile candidates") and always turns every discussion into an argument about how shit black people are. And then when I tell her no, the "white race" won't get killed off, she goes into "well if every conversation is going to turn into an argument we might as well not even have conversations".

The only difference is my mom has no friends, no job and only gets to see me for 3 weeks out of the year, so I do feel bad for her.

[phonics]

My mum will have a sly dig at you, at which point you can choose to stay silent and get accused of ignoring her or have a dig back in which case you're picking on her.

[Foe]

What happens if you hold the power button and the home button for a period of time?

Fuck all. It just goes back to the same screen of the iTunes logo and a 'connect' symbol.

[simon]

Bloody spot-on.

Picturing an American saying this sentence has made my brain melt.

[ScousePig]

'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
'I don't know.'
'Haven't you seen any of it?'
'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
'Yeah it did yeah.'
'What?'
'It didn't open.'
'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.

My grandma's got a bad back. My dad queried as to whether taking some of his tramadol might help. My mum said no. He wouldn't let it go until my mum finally explained that they would be too strong for her.

He just wanted everyone to know that he takes stronger painkillers than anyone else.

[ScousePig]

My Mom's the same, except she's a vigorously racist social democrat ("Bernie and Trump are the only worthwhile candidates") and always turns every discussion into an argument about how shit black people are. And then when I tell her no, the "white race" won't get killed off, she goes into "well if every conversation is going to turn into an argument we might as well not even have conversations".

The only difference is my mom has no friends, no job and only gets to see me for 3 weeks out of the year, so I do feel bad for her.

That boxing promoter transsexual was on Mastermind the other day and my dad kept referring to her as 'her, him' to try and make some kind of point known only to him.

[John]

Do you just want everyone to know that your parent's a bigger wanker than anyone else's?

[ScousePig]

He's not a wanker.

[Lewis]

:D

It's not something I should bother thinking about really. When I just thought it was her being annoying she was just annoying; but the more you think about it you start to realise she's a bit of a pleb (although it explains why she doesn't get on with my brother, who is exactly the same).

[Kikó]

I'm about to stay at my gran's for a few days and I'll be equally frustrated. I can't help but call her out on the crap she talks which inevitably upsets her. I'm a terrible grandson.

[John]

I get on well with my gran. She talks endless rubbish but it's almost always entertaining.

[igor_balis]

My nan told me and my mum last year that she'd tell the police if she found out anyone in the family was doing drugs, for their own good.

My mum does the annoying thing of getting really arsey whenever she has an argument with you, even if she initiated it, and acts like she was fully justified in being horrible if she wins the argument, but acts like you've basically bullied her if she loses the argument. I don't really care cus she's my mum and she's pretty great really, but it isn't much of a surprise that she basically hasn't got any mates any more.

She also does that thing of defending saying really tactless and unpleasant things as 'just being honest', but loses her shit if anyone says anything even remotely critical to her. Actually, I think she'd fit in pretty well on here. :henn0rz:

[igor_balis]

Also, our team lost the quiz last night by 1 point, and a couple of times I had a hunch for the right answer but was overruled by everyone else trying to work it out with 'logic'. Always go with hunches.

[Manc]

Getting ill. The days of endless drinking have caught up with me and I feel fucking horrid. New years eve is a write off.

[Dquincy]

'Didn't that barrier fail to open and that's why it's worse than normal?'
'I don't know.'
'Haven't you seen any of it?'
'No, otherwise you would have seen me watching it.'
'Yeah it did yeah.'
'What?'
'It didn't open.'
'So why ask me if you know more about it?'
'It's just something to make conversation about. I'm so sorry...'

It's not even stupidity is it? If you can't even sit quietly with your own son (who you know doesn't talk a load of shite because you're always moaning about the fact and encouraging him to do so) then you're basically deranged.

Sounds like she just wants to have a chat with her son. Bond a little, like families do.

[simon]

Yeah, I'm with quincy here. Make the effort. :)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm signed up with the Student Panel because they offer surveys every now and then for some money (well Amazon gift cards and you need to get to £25 to get anything), they only take like 10 minutes and they only ever offer a maximum of 2 a month. Screen outs are a bitch though, I just had one pop up with these intro questions:

http://i.imgur.com/Ylp5LaA.png

I have only ever owned a TV on that list and sadly that excluded me, although I couldn't help but lol at some of the questions. It's such a shame that I haven't transplanted a 12 foot in the past year :(

[mugbull]

I tried clicking on the first button for about 10 seconds before i realized it was an image.

[Bartholomert]

When TTH moves to a new forum and the volume of activity is a pitiful shell of its glory days.

[Kikó]

I remember thinking that doing surveys would be the path to monies. Then I realised they were boring as hell.

[TG09]

When TTH moves to a new forum and the volume of activity is a pitiful shell of its glory days.

The glory days have been and gone unfortunately.

[Boydy]

Why are music streaming aeevices almost twice the price of Netflix?

I'd pay about a fiver a month for one but I wouldn't get enough use our of it for a tenner a month. It seems like you get a lot more for your money with Netflix but I maybe I just place more value on TV and films.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I remember thinking that doing surveys would be the path to monies. Then I realised they were boring as hell.

I usually just click the middle option without reading anything.

[igor_balis]

I still think Netflix's selection is just too gash, even when you fuck around with the regions and stuff.

[Pepe]

Isn't Spotify free? That's what I use once in a while.

[Giggles]

Netflix has fuck all on it. For me anyway, wouldn't pay a euro for it.

[Boydy]

Isn't Spotify free? That's what I use once in a while.

Yeah but on mobile it's full of ads and you can't choose the songs you want and you can only skip so many times.

[Lewis]

I managed to get WhatsApp working on my phone. What's the point?

[Pepe]

Being able to make international calls for free I think.

[Giggles]

I managed to get WhatsApp working on my phone. What's the point?

Sending media other than just text, and what Pepe said. Whatsapp to whatsapp calls over wifi or unlimited data cost not more than you're paying for the plan.

[Giggles]

I'm going to switch away from Google Play Music soon as I'm just sick of the shitty UI on the app and the fact that non-US subscribers don't see the Youtube benefits it brings. The main reason I kept it is that it's preinstalled on the Nexus Player and works but I just never listen to music via the TV any more. It'll be Apple Music or back to Spotify, most likely the latter as the former is only of benefit if you have iTunes music, but both look infinitely nicer than the Google one.

[Pepe]

So there is no way to stream music for free on a phone? That's disappointing.

[phonics]

Spotify is free but with ads.

[Pepe]

But can't choose the songs you want according to Boydy. Tried that with Pandora and it was a 'mare with them choosing nothing but shite.

[phonics]

Yeah you can only choose artist or album which is tedious.

[Boydy]

Yeah, you can't. You can only go onto an artist's page or whatever and use shuffle play. And you can only skip songs a few times before it won't let you any more.

[Boydy]

I'd probably just waste my data allowance if I had something that worked properly anyway.

[Adamski]

You can create playlists on Spotify free too so you can pretty much listen to whatever you want.

[Giggles]

One of the big advantages of the subscription on Spotify or GPM (and probably Apple) is that you can download songs for offline play. I usually keep a few 40-50 song playlists I've made offline on the phone so I can play them in the car and not use data. They can also download to the watch on the Google one if you like, which is handy for walking.

[Pepe]

Regarding downloading, is there a convenient way to download music to your computer nowadays, Napster style? Torrents are an option I guess but I would prefer song by song downloads as opposed to full albums.

[Giggles]

Regarding downloading, is there a convenient way to download music to your computer nowadays, Napster style? Torrents are an option I guess but I would prefer song by song downloads as opposed to full albums.

I had started a thread on this before as I was looking for a certain selection of songs but the legit ones are far too expensive (around 99c a song), so I ended up converting Youtube files to mp3's.

[Toby]

Regarding downloading, is there a convenient way to download music to your computer nowadays, Napster style? Torrents are an option I guess but I would prefer song by song downloads as opposed to full albums.

I take it you mean free downloads, rather than the Spotify Premium option Giggles described above?

With the exception of a handful of artists refusing to have their music on it, Spotify has created an app that makes listening to music far simpler than messing around with torrenting sites or other illegitimate avenues. That just doesn't stand for Netflix and that's why I'm happy to pay a tenner for Spotify but not a fiver for TV streaming.

[Raoul Duke]

Why are music streaming aeevices almost twice the price of Netflix?

I'd pay about a fiver a month for one but I wouldn't get enough use our of it for a tenner a month. It seems like you get a lot more for your money with Netflix but I maybe I just place more value on TV and films.

Pricing is tied to what music labels expect as minimum revenues from a service in return for licensing their catalogues. A tenner a month is fuck all really, considering you have access to every song in the universe near enough. You can save offline (around 3000 tracks) and swap them at will, if you don't want to use your data allowance. Just save them at home on wi-fi.

Pandora's a radio-like service, but will have a streaming service soon as they bought Rdio.

I find Spotify very good value - I would have spent more back in the old days of CD/iTunes buying anyway.

[Giggles]

I think Pepe wants actual audio files. The disadvantage of something like Spotify is that there's no actual file so it can only be played through their interface, though something like that doesn't bother me personally as all my music is played from the phone or tablet through bluetooth devices or the chromecast audio.

[Toby]

Their interface is far superior to anything else I've used so I've never seen that as an issue.

[Giggles]

Their interface is far superior to anything else I've used so I've never seen that as an issue.

Yeah it's excellent. I've just downloaded it to my phone again there in the last hour and it is so much nicer than the Google one. I see there's Cast support on it now too finally.

[Magic]

Do you want new music Pep? It's pretty rare these days I've found to only like one song on a record.

[Pepe]

Not new music, old stuff. Also yes, I want audio files so that they can go in Ms. Pepe's iPod and yes, I want them for free. :)

Basically, bring back Limewire!

[Giggles]

Not new music, old stuff. Also yes, I want audio files so that they can go in Ms. Pepe's iPod and yes, I want them for free. :)

Basically, bring back Limewire!

Doing the Youtube conversion is best regarding handiness and selection. If higher quality is more what you're after then the usual methods may do.

[Magic]

Don't_look_back_in_anger_oasis_p1ss1ng_squ1rting_x xx_horse_sex_porn.mp3

Just download the full album and take the one song delete everything else.

[igor_balis]

I liked it when you'd get "[whatever you'd searched] cute girl has orgasm on webcam.avi" as the first hit for anything on limewire, and it was a 5kb exe file.

Pepe, soulseek is excellent. Ridiculously comprehensive - I found the album my old fucking lodger made on there, not uploaded by him either. Barely any viruses or anything too.

[Giggles]

I'd had a look at that after it was recommended when I'd asked (the name escaped me) and it looked really good.

[Boydy]

I take it you mean free downloads, rather than the Spotify Premium option Giggles described above?

With the exception of a handful of artists refusing to have their music on it, Spotify has created an app that makes listening to music far simpler than messing around with torrenting sites or other illegitimate avenues. That just doesn't stand for Netflix and that's why I'm happy to pay a tenner for Spotify but not a fiver for TV streaming.
Obviously Netflix isn't anywhere near as comprehensive as Spotify but I watch a lot more TV and films and it has a far superior interface to any illegal option. I've got Kodi now and I still go to Netflix first for films or TV. Plus it's like £6 a month, for the amount of TV and films I watch, that's very good value. Which brings me on to the point below.


Pricing is tied to what music labels expect as minimum revenues from a service in return for licensing their catalogues. A tenner a month is fuck all really, considering you have access to every song in the universe near enough. You can save offline (around 3000 tracks) and swap them at will, if you don't want to use your data allowance. Just save them at home on wi-fi.

Pandora's a radio-like service, but will have a streaming service soon as they bought Rdio.

I find Spotify very good value - I would have spent more back in the old days of CD/iTunes buying anyway.
A tenner isn't that much, no. Although its value is going to differ between someone working full-time in London and someone working part-time in the backwoods of Northern Ireland. But it also depends how much you actually listen to music. I don't all that much. Not enough to justify paying a tenner for. I'd probably use it on my phone on the train perhaps twice a week.

Some kind of cheaper, limited version (as in you can only stream, say, 2gb of music a month rather than the limitations they put on the free version now) would be good. Maybe 2gb would be too much, 1gb? I dunno. And let me save like 100 tracks offline. I'd pay a fiver a month for that.

[Pepe]

Don't_look_back_in_anger_oasis_p1ss1ng_squ1rting_x xx_horse_sex_porn.mp3

Just download the full album and take the one song delete everything else.

I feared that would be the best option.


I liked it when you'd get "[whatever you'd searched] cute girl has orgasm on webcam.avi" as the first hit for anything on limewire, and it was a 5kb exe file.

Pepe, soulseek is excellent. Ridiculously comprehensive - I found the album my old fucking lodger made on there, not uploaded by him either. Barely any viruses or anything too.

What is that exactly? Will check it out later.

[Toby]

I don't really like its interface. It's no easier to find what you want than to find relevant torrents, its discovery stuff is rubbish and its "new releases" sort of stuff usually has the same stuff for months on end. Spotify has done well on all that extra stuff so that it actually gives you something that downloading doesn't. Obviously it also helps that it has nearly all new releases and that downloading music is generally harder than downloading TV or films.

I just think video streaming channels still have some catching up to do. The fragmentation doesn't help either.

[Pepe]

Netflix's interface fucks me off. Really hard to find anything worth watching.

[Boydy]

I like the organisation of the genres and sub-genres. That's much better for browsing than browsing through heaps of shit on torrents. Even Kodi's browsing, which isn't bad, is a long way off it.

Also, the ease of it remembering where you are in a series or episode. I had to download the third season of The Bridge as they didn't have it and remembering what episode I'd last seen was a pain. Another thing - the reliability of subtitles on foreign shows and films. Downloading/streaming can be a bit of a pain for that.

[Boydy]

Anyway, on to something else. I was in town earlier. I don't like the word 'chavs' much (thanks Owen Jones) but there's not really a better way to put it. Ballymena is full of fucking chavs. Or just generally awful, haggard people. I saw someone in Tesco who actually looked like Waynetta Slob.

[igor_balis]

What is that exactly? Will check it out later.

Old school p2p thing like limewire or napster but actually good.

[Pepe]

:drool:

I'll be balls deep on that one tonight then.

[Giggles]

Netflix's interface fucks me off. Really hard to find anything worth watching.

That's because their catalogue is that shit that there's very little worth watching to actually find. Films especially.

[Pepe]

Mostly true, yes.

The countless times we have decided to watch a movie only to call it off after fifteen minutes browsing the Netflix catalogue... Glad I have Kodi now.

My TV is arriving today btw. First time I own a TV in 8 years. :cool:

[Raoul Duke]

Boydy - check out Amazon Prime Music - it's part of Amazon Prime (obviously). Smaller catalogue but comes with the benefits of quick delivery/Amazon Instant Video (their Netflix competitor). £79 a year.

[Boydy]

Boydy - check out Amazon Prime Music - it's part of Amazon Prime (obviously). Smaller catalogue but comes with the benefits of quick delivery/Amazon Instant Video (their Netflix competitor). £79 a year.

Cheers but the other stuff isn't really much use to me.

[Pepe]

Actually I remembered during lunch why I haven't downloaded shit for a while: Our ISP sends letters threatening to sue us when we do and they scare my GF. Guess soulseek is a no go.

My favorite letter was one we got for a couple of porn videos I downloaded (and a Madonna song, fuck know where that one came from.) Luckily the names were not too obviously porn and the .mp4 ending made her think they were music. I blamed it all on her colleague we hosted for a few days and left the episode unscathed but I must admit I was bricking it a bit, don't even know why.

[phonics]

Soulseek is great but it's like trying to use IRC these days. You know exactly how to do it but it's fucking tedious.

The collections of music some people have is amazing though. I'd search for a popular album and end up downloading about 6 mixtape b-sides.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Smiffy]

.....

[Magic]

Just seen a girl from my area has been murdered in Govan. Announced on Tayside Police FB page, and it's brought out the absolute lunatics saying RIP, family must be devastated etc when they aren't even from Dundee or Glasgow and they don't know her at all.

Why would you comment on such a thing if it didn't concern you in the slightest? Weirdo grief junkie cunts.

[Lewis]

'When's that Eddie Redmere (Redmayne) film out?'
'You've asked me that three times today. Why don't you find out?'
'Well I don't know.'

[Manc]

Another cry for help. Sort yourself out, Lewis.

[Boydy]

'When's that Eddie Redmere (Redmayne) film out?'
'You've asked me that three times today. Why don't you find out?'
'Well I don't know.'

You could've googled it for her instead of posting about it on here.

[Shindig]

We should abandon "Feed Phonics" and embark on "Employ Lewis."

[Raoul Duke]

Jimmy should get Lewis a job at his North Korean labour camp :nodd:

[Magic]

Just seen a girl from my area has been murdered in Govan. Announced on Tayside Police FB page, and it's brought out the absolute lunatics saying RIP, family must be devastated etc when they aren't even from Dundee or Glasgow and they don't know her at all.

Why would you comment on such a thing if it didn't concern you in the slightest? Weirdo grief junkie cunts.

Fucking hell she was monstrously fit!

[Magic]

For the sinister perverts (definitely not Manc):

https://m.facebook.com/katyjayne.rourke?tsid=0.6123248476069421&source=typeahead

[Yevrah]

Still active Facebook profiles of the recently deceased really creep me out.

[Magic]

She lived with her sister (not in Govan) and worked for PO Ferries.

This looks like a date rape murder to me especially when you streetview Minto Road. Its a fucking hole.

[Lewis]

My friend is still 'Friends' with somebody who did themselves in four years ago.

[Manc]

Woof.

[Yevrah]

I suppose there's still no way for Facebook to get rid of them.

It'll be a serious problem in 50 years time for my generation. One's friend list will be absolutely heaving with dead people.

There must be someone at Facebook HQ thinking about this.

[Magic]

Can you not request if you're a family member for it to be deleted? Why would you though, it's something to look back on.

[Yevrah]

I suppose - maybe it just isn't an issue.

[Giggles]

Google have an inactive account manager thing where you can nominate someone who will receive access to your account if you don't log in for 3 months. Facebook could do with something similar.

[Spammer]

I've got a 'friend' on there who topped himself 5 years ago. He's a bloke I went to school with. He still gets messages on his birthday and on the anniversary of him dying from friends and things.

[Yevrah]

Someone's beaten me to it...

http://www.theloop.ca/dead-facebook-users-will-soon-outnumber-the-living/

428 users die an hour, with not much happening to the accounts after they do, meaning that they'll be more dead members than living ones by 2065.

A repository for dead people probably isn't going to do a great deal for the share price. It's a definite problem.

[igor_balis]

I was dicking around in the settings of facebook the other day and found they do have a will thing, you can set the person you want to control your account if you died. There is also the option to have it deleted.

[Giggles]

Ah that must be new, handy. Just set it up there to delete.

[Yevrah]

How does Facebook know you've died? :cab:

[Lewis]

Your 'Friends' start Googling funeral stuff and it picks up on it.

[Magic]

Leaving someone your Facebook account in a will. :D

[Lewis]

Your legacy contact won't be notified until your account is memorialized, but you'll have the option to send them a message right away.

Somebody do that and don't answer your phone for a couple of days.

[Shindig]

I often wondered if there'd be a policy on steam or iTunes for that sort of thing.

[Giggles]

How does Facebook know you've died? :cab:

They need to be notified. Though I decided after to leave control of it to the Mrs (I've all my passwords saved in a file she'll get on the Google thing) and tell her to delete it.

[Magic]

It'll be weird on here because presumably nobody that you know knows about this place. I definitely wouldn't want anyone knowing about it if I died.

I bet a few ex-members are dead and we just don't know.

[Giggles]

I do that little else that if I'm not here for a fortnight you'll know I've popped.

[rush]

They need to be notified. Though I decided after to leave control of it to the Mrs (I've all my passwords saved in a file she'll get on the Google thing) and tell her to delete it.

There are companies that put together death-washing lists (amongst other things) that get applied to marketing databases; it wouldn't surprise me if the same thing occurred with social media profiles to manage the cost of data storage.

Which is an oddly functional answer to a speculative question.

[Smiffy]

.....

[randomlegend]

My little brother would probably post something here if I died, I reckon.

[John]

Or so you would think. By the year 2065 all the data that was obtained from those dead users shall be used to bring your deceased friend/relative back to life in some form. You can log in and go hang out with your lost ones in a virtual reality. It's not that far fetched an idea, is it?

That was an episode of Black Mirror.

[Smiffy]

.....

[John]

It's great.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Spoonsky]

I suppose there's still no way for Facebook to get rid of them.

It'll be a serious problem in 50 years time for my generation. One's friend list will be absolutely heaving with dead people.

There must be someone at Facebook HQ thinking about this.

I think you're making the incorrect assumption that in 50 years time Facebook will be relevant or even existent. It probably won't.

[Yevrah]

I think you're making the incorrect assumption that in 50 years time Facebook will be relevant or even existent. It probably won't.

It has over 1.5 billion users, it's not going anywhere for a while.

[Disco]

There are mediums that looked ubiquitous and unkillable just 10 or 15 years ago that are gone now, the fax machine went from conception to obsolescence in less than 50 years. Facebook will do well to be relevant in 10 years let alone 50.

[Magic]

Yes but nobody used fucking fax to indulge their narcissistic personalities or look at colleague's tits whilst their on holiday.

[Yevrah]

There are mediums that looked ubiquitous and unkillable just 10 or 15 years ago that are gone now, the fax machine went from conception to obsolescence in less than 50 years. Facebook will do well to be relevant in 10 years let alone 50.

£100 Facebook will still be relevant (let's define that as 1 billion users or more) in 2026?

[Giggles]

How many of them can be dead?

[mugbull]

£100 Facebook will still be relevant (let's define that as 1 billion users or more) in 2026?

As a company or as a product?

By the way, there won't be a mass deletion of accounts, so even if everyone's left facebook by then there'll still be a billion users.

[Yevrah]

And don't get me wrong, I don't even like it that much, but it's absolutely brilliant at what it does and has always been ahead of the curve as far as the internet goes.

I get where you're coming from in terms of things not lasting forever (as I'm usually on that side of the argument), but 50 years is a relatively short space of time and not long enough for someone to fuck it up from where it is now.

[Yevrah]

How many of them can be dead?


As a company or as a product?

By the way, there won't be a mass deletion of accounts, so even if everyone's left facebook by then there'll still be a billion users.

Facebook always talk about users in terms of active users (x visits a week), so we'll go with that which will cut out the dead and dormant 'users'.

[Lee]

Facebook has no use for me now. I have all my close friends in a single WhatsApp group and I obviously I just text and call them individually if it's a private conversation I want. Facebook would be more interesting to me if my friends didn't have such boring lives but they do, and if anything exciting happens they'd tell me anyway. I still reckon I'd be back on within the week if I killed my account now though. Probably just habit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

50 years ago (1966) my dad found out that we'd won the World Cup by reading it in a French newspaper three days later. I reckon things might have changed by then (and Leicester may not be top of the league either).

[Yevrah]

50 years ago (1966) my dad found out that we'd won the World Cup by reading it in a French newspaper three days later. I reckon things might have changed by then (and Leicester may not be top of the league either).

Well the 20th century was absolutely ridiculous for technological progression.

[Lee]

50 years ago (1966) my dad found out that we'd won the World Cup by reading it in a French newspaper three days later. I reckon things might have changed by then (and Leicester may not be top of the league either).

Steady on, mate.

[mugbull]

Facebook as a company will obviously still be around in 50 years and (probably) just as important as it is today. The Facebook product will be irrelevant for technological reasons.

[Yevrah]

Facebook as a company will obviously still be around in 50 years and (probably) just as important as it is today. The Facebook product will be irrelevant for technological reasons.

What reasons are these then? And why won't the current product evolve with, or be leading them?

[mugbull]

What reasons are these then? And why won't the current product evolve with, or be leading them?

Text-centric social media will be ancient. And it could evolve, but other competitors will always have the edge. It's sort of like how no toy retains its popularity past like 10 years or so. It loses its novelty value and people will move on.

Besides, Facebook will realize eventually they'll be able to make more money doing other things than "facebook.com", the social media site, and will begin to phase it out.

[Magic]

Their ambition for a facebooknet will see their demise.

[Disco]

And don't get me wrong, I don't even like it that much, but it's absolutely brilliant at what it does and has always been ahead of the curve as far as the internet goes.

I get where you're coming from in terms of things not lasting forever (as I'm usually on that side of the argument), but 50 years is a relatively short space of time and not long enough for someone to fuck it up from where it is now.

We are of course guessing but I see this as still the early days of the internet (or widespread network connectivity in general), go back to the fifties and tell someone that the British civil aviation or car industries would be dead in 10 years (let alone 15 or 20) and they'd have lolled you out of one of the square windows in their Comet.

Once Zuckerberg gets bored and loses control (his wife probably has that in his contract) it could go anywhere, and in such a volatile sector the most likely outcome is it being supplanted or marginalised.

[John]

Text-centric social media will be ancient. And it could evolve, but other competitors will always have the edge. It's sort of like how no toy retains its popularity past like 10 years or so. It loses its novelty value and people will move on.

Besides, Facebook will realize eventually they'll be able to make more money doing other things than "facebook.com", the social media site, and will begin to phase it out.

Facebook isn't really 'text-centric' as it is. There are written statuses, but words appear on my television screen and noone is calling that a text medium. It revolves far more clearly around pictures and videos, and since people aren't going to stop being self-obsessed whoppers any time soon I can't see a time when there isn't a demand for somewhere to upload twenty pictures of yourself a day.

If Facebook does die out it'll be because someone else beat them to a major advancement, but given the amount of money and the existing userbase they have it's more likely they'd just absorb whoever was doing that than go down to them.

Your point about toys fails along similar lines. Specific, gimmicky toys, like furbies or tamagotchis, tend to die out fairly quickly. At this point Facebook is more of a 'Lego', in that they're essentially a company which represents an industry.

[mugbull]

Yeah, but Legos don't need a large, involved userbase to be fun. Industry standards in social media oscillate in popularity much more quickly because your enjoyment of the product is tied directly to other peoples' enjoyment of the product

[Boydy]

Remember Myspace?

[Pen]

I suppose there's still no way for Facebook to get rid of them.

It'll be a serious problem in 50 years time for my generation. One's friend list will be absolutely heaving with dead people.

There must be someone at Facebook HQ thinking about this.

I needed to delete a relatives account after he passed away a few days back and it really was quite simple. You just fill out a form with some proof you're close to the person in question (I attached a picture of his drivers license) and they'll have it down in a few hours.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Giggles]

Remember Myspace?

Bebo ftw,

[Yevrah]

Remember Myspace?

Yeah, they fucked it up. Zuckerberg basically used them as a bible as what not to do.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Magic]

MySpace was nothing like Facebook. Bebo took their eye off the ball and Yahoo ruined it just in time for FB to come in.

They were only on the go for about 4 years and it never really took off in America.

FB was always more popular there. Between that and twitter it's hard to see how it can get any better especially because they're so intrinsically linked.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The next step is for us all to be wearing those fucking Google bins and imagineer words/pictures into other people's brains without having to type them up or use any sort of camera function. Everyone will look fucking ridiculous in said pictures because they'll all be wearing said bins, but it's more important just to generate the traffic for advertising space.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We need MSN chat rooms back :drool:

[Giggles]

Google+ basically evolved into a massive forum once they realised they hadn't a hope of even making a dent in Facebook. They've really given up on it themselves at this stage too.

[John]

Continuing with Facebook, how willing people are to share basically anything that starts with 'x wants this deleted from the internet', and how willing they are to believe that that's not only remotely possible, but has happened hundreds of times.

I've just been treated to a picture of two newborn babies in a cot with a Rangers scarf draped around it, which apparently needs to be shared because...


Cant even believe Celtic fans got this picture deleted. with 600 likes

1000 LIKES to prove a point. Cutest little bears I have ever seen and born yesterday... lets do it bears

Fuck right off.

I suppose this is just a moan about people being gullible twats, but this particular manifestation of that pisses me right off.

[TG09]

We need MSN chat rooms back :drool:

haha yeah i did enjoy them :)


Google+ basically evolved into a massive forum once they realised they hadn't a hope of even making a dent in Facebook. They've really given up on it themselves at this stage too.

I thought Google+ was going to get shut down at some point?

[CJay]

Speaking of Facebook, I found this message a little odd. I'm sure all my friends are desperately wondering what I look like, seeing as it's been a whole year since I changed my profile picture. :cab:

http://i.imgur.com/WyG1BG0.png

[Lewis]

I've had the same profile picture (Hulk Hogan doing 11/9) for eight years, so I must have beaten them.

[Manc]

Does anyone else manage without social media? Most people I meet think I'm an oddball for not having Facebook.

[Shindig]

I mainly keep up with it so they stop sending me notification emails. Plus fam and that.

[mugbull]

Does anyone else manage without social media? Most people I meet think I'm an oddball for not having Facebook.

No, but imagine if you asked someone for their email and they didn't have one. "No, sorry, i don't have an email address, never have". That would be fairly weird, so there's obviously some delimiter somewhere for what's socially acceptable.

[John]

An email address is different in that it doesn't require any real upkeep and isn't presenting a particular view of you to the world, unless your address is about a footballer being God or something, but there is a generational line in the sand for that stuff. Ask a seventy year old and you wouldn't be surprised to hear they didn't know what an email was, ask a seventeen year old and you would be surprised to find out most people hadn't seen their arse on Snapchat at some point in the last fortnight.

[Lewis]

I don't know why people still moan about Facebook. It's as good/shit as you want it to be, so you might as well just have an account.

[Giggles]

I thought I'd never delete mine but I hardly use it since I deleted the app. Suppose there's no harm in having it there though but it needs a good chopping of people like ex colleagues from 10 years ago.

[igor_balis]

I'm with Lewis on this. Also, getting rid of facebook sort of reminds of that old joke - how do you know someone hasn't got a television? Don't worry, they'll tell you. Same with fazzy b ennit. Maybe I'm just a sheep but even if I hated the majority of facebook (i don't) I'd just maintain a super private profile, never look at the news feed, but just keep it for when I meet someone who goes 'oh I'll add you on facebook', so you can av a chat some time.

Surely it is great for when you meet someone you get on with, want to stay in touch with them, but don't want to exchange numbers because it seems a bit full-on. Exchanging emails would be even stranger I think. I guess it depends whether you value not being on facebook more than avoiding the fairly obvious social disadvantages that come from that.

There's probably about 50 or so people I've maintained decent friendships with from occasionally chatting to them on facebook that I probably would have never bothered to text. I've even slept with a couple of girls that I definitely wouldn't have if I didn't have facebook. It is just a tool that you can use however you want.

[Giggles]

I used to find it great for keeping in touch with people at home when I moved to the UK and then presumed it'd have the same use when I moved back. But there's not much point in keeping in touch with people when you know you've moved permanently.
But, as you say. It may as well stay there even if you never look at it.

[Manc]

If my life is ever in the pits I'll sign up and poke Waff.

[Sam]

It appears I last used mine two years ago. Other then my girlfriend tagging me in everything.

It's just total shite.

[Yevrah]

I don't know why people still moan about Facebook. It's as good/shit as you want it to be, so you might as well just have an account.

That it's impossible to stop yourself being tagged in photos/etc. before everyone's seen them in their newsfeeds is probably the only valid complaint I've heard, and even then that only really matters if you're up to no good.

Generally people that complain about it and/or periodically come on and off it either have extreme narcissism or a problem with relationships that have ended badly.

[igor_balis]

Pretty sure you can prevent anyone tagging you in anything anyway.

[Baz]

You can set it so that everything requires your approval before appearing on your timeline.

[Yevrah]

You can set it so that everything requires your approval before appearing on your timeline.

Doesn't work, as it still appears in the timelines of people you're mutual friends with regardless of what you've done to stop it.

You can remove the tags afterwards and stop it ever showing in your own timeline, but potentially the damage is already done by then.

[Baz]

Ah right. Fair enough, I don't use Facebook, just know other people who have it set up this way.

[Yevrah]

Ah right. Fair enough, I don't use Facebook, just know other people who have it set up this way.

Yeah, if they've done that thinking they're in the clear from any shenanigans as a result they could end up being sadly mistaken.

[Lewis]

Point. Twitter has no downsides though. :drool:

[Manc]

It's 2am and there's a fucking bird giving it large on the roof of my building. What the actual fuck!

[Lewis]

The dog just came and sat in his bed looking at me until I left the kitchen and let him get to sleep. The little prick.

[Boydy]

An email address is different in that it doesn't require any real upkeep and isn't presenting a particular view of you to the world, unless your address is about a footballer being God or something, but there is a generational line in the sand for that stuff. Ask a seventy year old and you wouldn't be surprised to hear they didn't know what an email was, ask a seventeen year old and you would be surprised to find out most people hadn't seen their arse on Snapchat at some point in the last fortnight.
:moop:

I've got a serious one too. Also, that one's probably dead now. I haven't logged into it in years. I forgot the login details.


The dog just came and sat in his bed looking at me until I left the kitchen and let him get to sleep. The little prick.

Why couldn't he just sleep when you were there?

[Lewis]

He wanted the light off so he could go to bed properly.

[Boydy]

He's a fucking dog. Stop pampering him.

[Disco]

There's a sitcom in this, cracking stuff.

[Pen]

He's a fucking dog. Stop pampering him.

Dogs do have the habit of waiting 'til everyone goes to bed before they do so.

[Disco]

You've missed a trick here Lewis, he could have been a celebrity.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/01/02/dog-with-slice-of-ham-on-face-gets-1-3-million-facebook-prayers-and-counting/

[Magic]

The mother-in-law has just described on Facebook their night away tonight as 'a cheeky wee' one.

:sick:

[Spoonsky]

I'll be honest, the main pleasure I get out of Facebook these days is from randomly catching posts off Magic's wife and in-laws.

[Boydy]

Lol at Magic's Facebook photo being all the family but his wife's just being the kid.

[Magic]

I don't even have you on Facebook you creepy cunt.

[igor_balis]

Can I add you, Magic?

[Dquincy]

Does anyone else manage without social media? Most people I meet think I'm an oddball for not having Facebook.
I'm not on FB, but that's because i'm an unsociable bastard. My wife shows me some comments on it, some of which can be quite cringeworthy.

I was on it for a 6 month spell when i was single. It was bloody brilliant to use when picking up women.


That it's impossible to stop yourself being tagged in photos/etc. before everyone's seen them in their newsfeeds is probably the only valid complaint I've heard, and even then that only really matters if you're up to no good.

Generally people that complain about it and/or periodically come on and off it either have extreme narcissism or a problem with relationships that have ended badly.

My wife's colleague's wife consistently has FB breaks, which she ensures everyone know about on FB. She'll also check in midway through the hiatus to update people. It's brilliant. :D

[igor_balis]

The best/worst thing like that was when the always dreadful Caitlin Moran boycotted twitter for one fucking DAY. Fuck sake.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'The Dickhead' on Facebook posted a picture of a cut up credit card with this today:

#‎paid‬ and ‪#‎cutupp‬ ‪#‎5k‬ ‪#‎limitededition‬ ‪#‎gold‬ ‪#‎credit‬ ‪#‎card‬ #2016 ‪#‎gunna‬ be ‪#‎debtfree‬ ‪#‎realshit‬ ‪#‎bosslifestyle‬

He is the reason why I hate Facebook...

[igor_balis]

'The Dickhead' on Facebook posted a picture of a cut up credit card with this today:

#‎paid‬ and ‪#‎cutupp‬ ‪#‎5k‬ ‪#‎limitededition‬ ‪#‎gold‬ ‪#‎credit‬ ‪#‎card‬ #2016 ‪#‎gunna‬ be ‪#‎debtfree‬ ‪#‎realshit‬ ‪#‎bosslifestyle‬

He is the reason why I hate Facebook...

That isn't facebook per se, that's having really thick people added. Make smarter friends, and block the idiots from your news feed.

[Giggles]

Just get rid of them altogether.

[Toby]

'The Dickhead' on Facebook posted a picture of a cut up credit card with this today:

#‎paid‬ and ‪#‎cutupp‬ ‪#‎5k‬ ‪#‎limitededition‬ ‪#‎gold‬ ‪#‎credit‬ ‪#‎card‬ #2016 ‪#‎gunna‬ be ‪#‎debtfree‬ ‪#‎realshit‬ ‪#‎bosslifestyle‬

He is the reason why I hate Facebook...

Delete him then. Coming here to whinge about it just makes you the twat to all of us.

[Cord]

I've not gone on my Facebook for about five years and I've never done any of the other stuff.

I am coming to the conclusion that, shit as it is, I am somewhat disadvantaging myself by not being more on it when all my mates use it. You do tend to miss stuff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Delete him then. Coming here to whinge about it just makes you the twat to all of us.

I'm clearly fine with that role.

[igor_balis]

That example from Mahow is more 'so bad it's good' than annoying to me. The irritants have been blocked from my news feed, but the REALLY mental people remain to give me a laugh.


Delete him then. Coming here to whinge about it just makes you the twat to all of us.

U ok hun?

[igor_balis]

This girl is probably my favourite mentalist:




July 28th - 'Misses her baby boyyy soooooooooooo much want u bk here wiv me I hate us being apart ring me babycakes xxxxx — with (name of some bloke).'

July 31st - 'So glad we bk together love u millions my sexy man love u for life xxxxxx — with (same bloke tagged).

later on the same day - 'Just want my man back here with me and his child where he belongs we were so happy last nite back in our home dunno wot keeps goin wrong just wish we cud be happy like we were a couple of months ago x — with (same again).'

August 4th - (same bloke) and her Got Engaged

August 5th - 'Wishes she was loved :('

August 7th - 'I'm sorry for ruining your life I will always love u I still do more than anythin this is killing me babes but I'm sorry for wrecking your life xxxx — with (same bloke tagged).'

October 1st - They're set as being in a 'complicated relationship'

October 2nd - Set as being engaged again

October 7th - 'Hate my life right now everythin is fallin apart just don't know wat the point is anymore'


Not much posted since then, but she's up to level 35 on 'criminal case'.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

She's probably either engaged with him for the 20th time or she's killed him.

[Dquincy]

I've not gone on my Facebook for about five years and I've never done any of the other stuff.

I am coming to the conclusion that, shit as it is, I am somewhat disadvantaging myself by not being more on it when all my mates use it. You do tend to miss stuff.

I think the same. But then I realise I can't be Arsenal to read about my friends telling me how their day is going or bragging about the best aspects of their life. Sometimes I think I'm not a very nice person. Or maybe I'm the jealous type.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Magic]

Yes igor_balis

Not sure I trust LR, who stalked me, added me then PM'd me asking for permission.

Could be one of those freaks that comments on things all the time in a weird way prompting questions about how I know an ex-junkie from Leeds who's now an alcoholic and somehow works in a bank.

[Adamski]

It's Dundee, surely half your friends list are ex-junkies.

Just say you met him at football.

[Magic]

Ex?

[Lewis]

Speaking of Facebook, my friend's sister invited me to his going-away party next month (he's joining the Navy) and for a lol I said I wasn't going and told her that we would be having our own private celebration. I then sent him a 'lol your sister is giving it large because...' message, and the stupid bitch has since added 'SURPRISE PARTY' to the title.

[Charlie]

Sounds like you are being autistic rather than her.

[Boydy]

:D

You're such a dickhead, Lewis.

[Lewis]

Who arranges a surprise party via Facebook without making it clear? The group was up for three hours before the title edit.

[Boydy]

Three hours isn't very long, really.

Who says they're not going and having a private celebration with the person who's leaving instead? You weirdo.

[Lewis]

He doesn't even want a going-away party, and we planned to go in town before he went.

[Charlie]

Why, though, are you friends with people who are up for joining the Navy?

[Smiffy]

.....

[Spoonsky]

Lewis should probably join the Navy himself.

[Lewis]

He's doing it because he doesn't see another way out of his boring situation, but I don't have the temperament for the forces (or anything overly-regimented).

[mugbull]

I'm not on FB, but that's because i'm an unsociable bastard. My wife shows me some comments on it, some of which can be quite cringeworthy.

I was on it for a 6 month spell when i was single. It was bloody brilliant to use when picking up women.


How are y'all 'picking up chicks' on Facebook? Maybe the FB culture is different in the States, but I've never heard of anyone getting laid through Facebook. Snapchat's great for that, face to face-to-face (or dick-to-face) is best, but Facebook? Do you post on her wall? Message her? Poke her? Weird shit mang.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Dquincy]

How are y'all 'picking up chicks' on Facebook? Maybe the FB culture is different in the States, but I've never heard of anyone getting laid through Facebook. Snapchat's great for that, face to face-to-face (or dick-to-face) is best, but Facebook? Do you post on her wall? Message her? Poke her? Weird shit mang.

Well this was 4 yrs ago, and I'd still meet the women out in clubs and bars, but I'd use Facebook instead of my numberto connect with them.

This was great because it meant i could check them out once my beer goggles had gone, just to make sure I hadn't done anything horrendous (which happened on the odd occasion).

I remember I pulled one girl who's face was in the Sub newspaper the following day. She had sold her story about sleeping with an x factor contestant at the time.

[Dquincy]

Speaking of Facebook, my friend's sister invited me to his going-away party next month (he's joining the Navy) and for a lol I said I wasn't going and told her that we would be having our own private celebration. I then sent him a 'lol your sister is giving it large because...' message, and the stupid bitch has since added 'SURPRISE PARTY' to the title.

Sounds like you were upset that she had arranged a party for your friend which took over your already made plans (albeit smaller plans) to go for a drink with him.

You then subconsciously ruined her party.

[Lewis]

Yeah that sounds about right.

[Smiffy]

I don't get told such things because I forget their surprises or secrets then unintentionally drop them in it.

"What you doing on the weekend, Tim?"
"Going to your party you daft tw.....oh fuck"

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've never been to a surprise party except when I did someone a favour by running the bar at one. It was absolutely shite. Some pube headed twat turning 30 was told he was going out for dinner, but was instead led in unlikely fashion to the venue which is miles away from any restaurants. He rocks up, his 9/10 girlfriend (he is a 4, and has no friends, I mean come on) shouts 'Surprise!' to reveal about 30 people, 10 of whom are older family and most of the rest aren't even drinking. The night fizzles to a climax in which literally the fattest human I've ever seen, who has to be helped to walk and buys four cans of Coke off me at a time, unveils his party piece which is to sing 'Angels' by Robbie Williams to a ridiculously high standard, before begging me for free crisps because he is skint.

I therefore assume they are all like that.

[SvN]

My wife's friend organised her own "surprise" 30th birthday party. Even had everyone shout "SURPRISE" when she walked in and acted shocked and emotional in a non-sarcastic manner. The stupid twat.

[Dquincy]

My wife's friend organised her own "surprise" 30th birthday party. Even had everyone shout "SURPRISE" when she walked in and acted shocked and emotional in a non-sarcastic manner. The stupid twat.

That's got to be bollocks. If not, has she been certified?

[igor_balis]

Ha, that story is great Jimmy, it really captures a particularly English grim desolation. Of course it was that fucking song as well. There's probably about 20 different fat blokes singing Angels in various drinking establishments around our green and pleasant land on any given Saturday night.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHfLbUqqqlM

[SvN]

That's got to be bollocks. If not, has she been certified?

Only her close friends knew she was involved in the organising. The other 70 odd people all thought it was a genuine surprise.

[Toby]

I would hate a surprise party and have made that abundantly clear to the very limited pool of people who might ever throw me one, but my girlfriend threw one for her parents' silver anniversary the other year and it went really well. There were probably close to a hundred people there - including her unexpectedly back from university - but they hadn't the slightest idea it was going to happen.

[Smiffy]

I don't any friends to do one for me anyway. :cool:

[Boydy]

Fucking bitch receptionist at the local health centre just audibly sighed at me on the phone because I asked if I could get a prescription from them today instead of having to wait till tomorrow. It's a repeat one anyway, how fucking hard is it to print it off and have the doctor sign it. It'd take a minute, tops.

[Toby]

Can't you just have a repeat prescription approved by a pharmacist?

[Boydy]

I dunno. I didn't think they did that. I've always just phoned the doctors' surgery and had them send it through to the local pharmacy. They even have an option on the switchboard when you call up for repeat prescriptions.

[Josh]

Jimmy is one of the last people I thought would rate people for their looks out of 10. Mert-lite.

[Boydy]

I thought that seemed pretty out of character as well.

[Toby]

I dunno. I didn't think they did that. I've always just phoned the doctors' surgery and had them send it through to the local pharmacy. They even have an option on the switchboard when you call up for repeat prescriptions.

http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1674.aspx?CategoryID=68&SubCategoryID=161

I don't really know how any of it works to be fair, but I was always under the impression a repeat prescription didn't need much involvement from the doctor/surgery after it was given. That seems like the whole point to me. I'm sure I've seen people in Boots having them renewed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Commenting on physical attraction at all is fairly out of character, to be honest. I'll have a long, hard think about my behaviour.

[Toby]

That sounds like a horrible euphemism given the context, you nasty man.

[Lewis]

I was more surprised at 'pube headed twat'. You'd be glad of those, mate.

[Sam]

Ha, that story is great Jimmy, it really captures a particularly English grim desolation. Of course it was that fucking song as well. There's probably about 20 different fat blokes singing Angels in various drinking establishments around our green and pleasant land on any given Saturday night.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHfLbUqqqlM

Who says they have to be fat. A few fine ales and whatever else is required and I'm able to belt out various greats from our national treasures all sung in a deep Black Country hum. As if to highlight the desolation of the Midlands even more.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That sounds like a horrible euphemism given the context, you nasty man.

Someone give him a 'that's the joke' gif, I'm on a phone.