The little things in life that fuck you off

[Smjffy]

There's a teenage boy having what I presume to be a party in next door's garden (on a Monday night, as you do), and there is some form of music booming out with which I am really not familiar. It sounds somewhat like hip hop but there's nobody rapping on it that I can hear, and all the noises sound like nuclear power plant warning sirens, or just the general sound of an industrial hellscape, but to a defined beat.

What am I having to listen to?

Pretty much any track today. It all sounds the same.

[mugbull]

Some sort of dubstep. Maybe trap. It’s probably really good too

[Gray Fox]

There's a teenage boy having what I presume to be a party in next door's garden (on a Monday night, as you do), and there is some form of music booming out with which I am really not familiar. It sounds somewhat like hip hop but there's nobody rapping on it that I can hear, and all the noises sound like nuclear power plant warning sirens, or just the general sound of an industrial hellscape, but to a defined beat.

What am I having to listen to?

I'd have some money on a variation of Dubstep.

[bruhnaldo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfgkZHcUvHs

Is it this? The first 30 seconds sounds just as described lol

[Baz]

Shazam it. I really wanna know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some sort of dubstep. Maybe trap. It’s probably really good too

I'm in Surrey, it'll be shite.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shazam it. I really wanna know.

Shreck Wes - Mo Bamba

[Offshore Toon]

Sounds like it'll be some American EDM crap.

[mugbull]

I think thats the most popular song “with kids these days”

[Spikey M]

There's a teenage boy having what I presume to be a party in next door's garden (on a Monday night, as you do), and there is some form of music booming out with which I am really not familiar. It sounds somewhat like hip hop but there's nobody rapping on it that I can hear, and all the noises sound like nuclear power plant warning sirens, or just the general sound of an industrial hellscape, but to a defined beat.

What am I having to listen to?

Has James moved?

[Spikey M]

Shreck Wes - Mo Bamba

Sounds more like some cunt has stolen an Ice cream van.

[Baz]

Shreck Wes - Mo BambaThat song is 99% lyrics.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That one was a bit more mainstream sounding than some of their set list. They were still going at 00.30 and then broke off for a spell of 'We like to drink with knobhead, cos knobhead is our mate', I'm surprised they didn't get firebombed by some of the pensioned off boomers in our road.

[Spoonsky]

:D

Mo Bamba is the #1 frat song in America, or at least it was six months ago. The music video is interesting, it features the main guy pretending to be disabled for no apparent reason.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck Gardens, fuck strimmers, fuck grass, fuck trees, fuck hedges, fuck bushes.

[bruhnaldo]

What in the fuck is a strimmer

[bruhnaldo]

Lmao yo they called a weed-eater a fuckin "strimmer" what's up with this country man lol

[randomlegend]

We don't need to give things the kind of literal names that 3 year olds do in order to cope, since we aren't retarded.

[Bam]

Yeah weed-eater is a much better term than strimmer. :cab:

[SincereTheRebel]

Whoever came up with the name for walkie-talkie should have been given the freedom to name everything.

[bruhnaldo]

Yeah weed-eater is a much better term than strimmer. :cab:

I'm sensing sarcasm in this post but come on now "weed-eater" sounds a lot more bad ass.

[phonics]

Whoever came up with the name for walkie-talkie should have been given the freedom to name everything.

Welsh is good for that as they've had to invent words for anything invented post 1500s. Board Smoothio(Ironing Board) and Poppity-Ping (Microwave) being my favourites.

[bruhnaldo]

Board Smoothio(Ironing Board) and Poppity-Ping (Microwave)

shut the fuck up you're joking

[bruhnaldo]

This Welsh bit kills me:


Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch (llan-vire-pooll-guin-gill-go-ger-u-queern-drob-ooll-llandus-ilio-gogo-goch), usually shortened to Llanfair-pwll or Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, is a Welsh word that translates roughly as "St Mary's Church in the Hollow of the White Hazel near a Rapid Whirlpool and the Church of St. Tysilio near the Red Cave"

Man WHAT

[Pepe]

Weed eater? I thought they were called weed whackers.

[bruhnaldo]

The word is so long the stupid script forces a space.

[bruhnaldo]

Weed eater? I thought they were called weed whackers.


A string trimmer, also called a "weed eater", "whipper-snipper", "weed-whacker", a "weed-whip", a "line trimmer" (in Australia and New Zealand) or a "strimmer" (in the UK and Ireland


Weed-whip sounds kinda hot tbh

[phonics]

This Welsh bit kills me:


Man WHAT

It's a stupid language that barely anyone speaks. Here's a road sign that was about 50m from my house there:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45162000/jpg/_45162744_-2.jpg

I'm sure you understand the English but the Welsh says 'I am not in the office at the moment. Send work for translation and I'll get back to you'.

[Disco]

Pobol y Cym :cool:

[phonics]

Cxtch was my favourite which can range from basically a hug to netflix and chill. You could just throw it out there and see how far you got.

[bruhnaldo]

This reminds me of the time ya'll taught me the Koreans refuse to add words to their language so they just use English words randomly to describe things.

[Disco]

How about Germans and their compound words.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG62zay3kck

[phonics]

This reminds me of the time ya'll taught me the Koreans refuse to add words to their language so they just use English words randomly to describe things.

Most languages do this. The weekend is 'le weekend' in French, all the french you know like deja vu, bon appetit, etc. is a hold off from when French was the dominant language rather than English.

[Disco]

A good bit of post-Norman tongue.

[Shindig]

I need to like, finish learning German. Seems like a damn sight easier than the lad off work who's now spending an extra two months (on top of the six he's already taking) to learn Japanese.

[phonics]

Why? I can't think of a less useful language to learn. If I was going to learn an Asian language I'd choose Korean over Japanese though.

[Spikey M]

I'm sensing sarcasm in this post but come on now "weed-eater" sounds a lot more bad ass.

It isn't capable of discerning what is and isn't a weed and it doesn't eat anything. Stupid name.

[Giggles]

Pobol y Cym :cool:

I must have been heading for fluent at one stage because of that show.

[bruhnaldo]

i had a Spanish only patient come in and I said "oh lo siento mi espanol es muy terriblé uno momento" and gestured that I was gonna call someone who spoke Spanish

Ol' girl was giving me these spicy looks like oh I can't believe this like... dude I'm accomodating you to the best of my ability, there's no real issue, you're literally coming in to apply for free public benefits (which you are entitled for but again.. idk, i don't think I'm the one you should be being snotty with when I'm literally trying to help you.)

Like bro give me a break man I'm doing the best I can and everything is fine? The process didn't take any longer than it would've otherwise.

People suck ! ! ! ! ! ! !

[igor_balis]

This Welsh bit kills me:


Man WHAT


https://youtu.be/G6dGUqYQNeI

[Giggles]

Back to shitty school traffic :moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

It turns my commute from 10 to 40 minutes. Especially as there are loads of private schools around here and you won't see precious little Johnny risked on any kind of public transport, you need the Land Rover to take him a mile.

[SincereTheRebel]

It really is a massive inconvenience. Just send them to school via foot patrol.

[Giggles]

In this day and age with all their shite about health they should be forcing kids to walk (if the infrastructure is there) if they're within a certain radius. But of course it's easier, and more lucrative, to tax a can of coke.

[Yevrah]

Was it stranger danger that started it all?

When I was younger and probably a bit before that it seemed commonplace for all kids above about 6 to walk to school. They were all in groups so no issues.

[SincereTheRebel]

From what ive been told, parents used to leave their children outside the shop in a pushchair while they went into the shop. Did their weekly shopping for 30 minutes and come back out to their child still in the same place they left them.

You could never do that today. The world is a scary place.

[igor_balis]

I walked to and from school solo from like 7, but it was only a mile or so.

[Smjffy]

It was probably common place back then too but cameras and media plus the internet means we hear all the worst stuff. It's always been a fucked up crazy world.

[Yevrah]

Yep, there's absolutely no way wrong uns only appeared or grew exponentially in number after 1990.

[Pepe]

From what ive been told, parents used to leave their children outside the shop in a pushchair while they went into the shop. Did their weekly shopping for 30 minutes and come back out to their child still in the same place they left them.

You could never do that today. The world is a scary place.

Yes you could. Well, you couldn't, but not because someone would steal your child, but rather because some do-gooder would call the cops and they would take your child away from you.

[Smjffy]

I remember reading something a while ago that suggested there's CCTV for every 10-15 people in the UK (can't remember exactly) and over a period of 5 years or something back in 94 to 99 is when the home office splashed out on plenty.

This being before camera phones etc too so it's only natural that we see and hear more than we used to.

[Giggles]

Nobody would get to see the Evoque only for the mile run to school.

[Manc]

People who think it's appropriate to eat cooked fish in the office.

[SincereTheRebel]

Add eggs to that list.

[Disco]

People who think it's appropriate to eat cooked fish in the office.

A had a strange thought along the same lines last week.

I lived in two different house shares with people who liked to cook smoked fish of some sort which stank out the whole fucking place and it would drive me mad (double points for not washing up the grill/pan afterwards thereby extending the duration of the reek). The reason I thought of it was that I saw smoked kippers in the supermarket and thought 'I haven't had to smell those awful things for a pleasingly large number of years'.

On topic: Anyone microwaving leftovers in the office, it never fails to make the kitchen smell of plastic and horror.

[SincereTheRebel]

Microwaves :lol:

[Giggles]

Microwaves :lol:

Yeah, break out the gas hob and saucepans in work.

[thommo]

It's a stupid language that barely anyone speaks. Here's a road sign that was about 50m from my house there:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45162000/jpg/_45162744_-2.jpg

I'm sure you understand the English but the Welsh says 'I am not in the office at the moment. Send work for translation and I'll get back to you'.

You used to live in Morriston? What were you doing there?

[Spikey M]

Living there.

[bruhnaldo]

lmao yo i swear Spikes is the right amount of cunt.

[Giggles]

Living there.

https://media.tenor.com/images/17513be32b7d0efbf0cbada1c2e99d7e/tenor.gif

[Boydy]

The buses on my route are single decker now the schools are back again. Cram the kids in like sardines ffs.

[bruhnaldo]

Sitting 3 to a seat gives you character.

[Ian]

The buses on my route are single decker now the schools are back again. Cram the kids in like sardines ffs.

Not quite the same thing but I remember in my last job the time ScotRail did their biggest ever price hike and it coincide with them halving the number of carriages on the train I usually commuted on.

Oh how we laughed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck Gardens, fuck strimmers, fuck grass, fuck trees, fuck hedges, fuck bushes.

A few days ago I lost a piece of the strimmer spool mid strim/strum but had no idea how or where it went. Bought a new spool yesterday and it now wont turn on.

I assume the third party part is somehow making it chimp out but I have no idea why it would be doing so.

Edit: I've just remembered that when I used it the strimmer started smoking due to the grass clogging it up after the piece came off. Motor must be fucked which is why it's not working \0/.

[bruhnaldo]

Gotta go with the alpha dog (Weed Eater) and get rid of that beta "strimmer" nonsense, clearly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm thinking of getting a 550W 30cm cutting area beast to replace the crap 250W 23cm STRIMMER.

[Baz]

I recently went from a cruddy strimmer with a really short wire, to an awesome cordless one. Could never go back to wired now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I recently went from a cruddy strimmer with a really short wire, to an awesome cordless one. Could never go back to wired now.

I did think about cordless but the back and front garden is a jungle here, it's too big for a cordless and I'd end up forgetting to charge every now and then.

[niko_cee]

Get a petrol one

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Get a petrol one

Fuck that. My Dad always bought petrol ones and they were a dick.

I went for a SEVEN HUNDRED W beast with a 33cm cutting width.

The grass wont know what's hit it on Friday.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We've paid for Brown bin collection and ordered a bin and yet NHDC is saying that we're not on the system...

Fuck councils.

[phonics]

We've paid for Brown bin collection and ordered a bin and yet NHDC is saying that we're not on the system...

Fuck councils.

By the sounds of it some version of Shindig is probably tasked with copy/pasting it into an Excel sheet and put it in the wrong cell.

[Spikey M]

I shove everything in black bags. :cool:

[phonics]

We don't pay for recycling/bin collection here, and our version of council tax goes down the more the community recycles so you'd be thick not to. Also creates some sort of weird peer pressure if neighbours were to ever spot your bottles/paper going in the waste bin.

[Disco]

I shove everything in black bags. :cool:

The one bin solution. o/

[Spikey M]

The one bin solution. o/

The final solution. \.

[phonics]

I made a joke the other day that featured a quick ditty to the tune of 'My Favourite Things'.

I have not been able to stop thinking in this cadence ever since. It's been nearly a day and I'm going mad. Every sentence I read, every thought I have. My synapses are no longer individually firing, they all fit to this sheet music.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/464147082253434911/618521149265149972/unknown.png

[mugbull]

Me too now, balls

[Spikey M]

The first sentence of that almost works with the tune.

[niko_cee]

Just listen to some baby shark.

[Shindig]

Or Love Fool by the Cardigans. A song which has been stuck in my head for some reason.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even apples are joining gangs now.

[Offshore Toon]

Let's go hunt doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo

[Lewis]

Twelve year old's clothing and lol-worthy footwear
Eight posts a day and most of them are a mare
Small-time seethes about Tottenham when they win
And he looks like that Shooter McGavin

[Shindig]

Jaspergers.

[bruhnaldo]

N ow i can't stop singing the melody please help

[Smjffy]

Sat eating lunch and something flies at me. I went to smack it away as I thought it was a fly, turns out it was a wasp and I caught the fucker between my fingers. First sting in 34 years.

Cunt.

[mugbull]

I’ve had some absolutely shit insomnia since Sunday night. 2 of the 4 nights i havent slept a minute despite being in bed for 8-10 hours each night, and the other 2 nights i only managed to fall asleep at 5 am and stayed asleep til 10 am. It’s really fucking with me. Luckily, i’m back in school so i’m not missing work, but it’s setting me back in my schoolwork

Last night i only managed to sleep once i had moved my bed into the bathroom and closed the door. I’ve got a really tragic picture of mattress next to toilet that illustrates the depth of my demise

[bruhnaldo]

Have you tried the devil's lettuce?

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're doing well to have a bed small enough and/or a bathroom door big enough to perform that stunt.

[Shindig]

Stop thinking about it. Probably. I'm hoping the woman at work stays quiet today. I do not need to hear her taking very personal calls at her desk. On her mobile. In full view of team leaders.

[mugbull]

Have you tried the devil's lettuce?

Weed actually makes it harder for me to fall asleep, somehow. It’s moot anyway because weed is super illegal in Sweden and i probably won’t be taking my chances with it here

[mugbull]

You're doing well to have a bed small enough and/or a bathroom door big enough to perform that stunt.

Tbf it was my mattress, not my whole bedframe and everything. It is an enormous bathroom though

[Queenslander]

Rub one out.

[mugbull]

I've been rubbing like 3 out

[Spikey M]

What benefit does being in the bathroom offer exactly?

[SvN]

I think we can safely cancel all other entries for the Annual TTH Autismo award.

[mugbull]

It's pitch black and pretty noise-proof, but more than anything it's just a different location to where i normally sleep. I realized i was subconsciously associating my bed with *not* sleeping, so by moving the mattress somewhere else i might be able to break that psychological association. It sucks when I've taken a shit in there though, i'd rather be an insomniac in the main room than a sleep-capable poop smeller

[John Arne]

I went to a (away) basketball game on Saturday, spent 4 hours on a minibus, we then got beat, I had free bubble tea at the game, went to my hotel that had a whore house on the top floor, threw up said tea twice and couldn't sleep. Sunday morning was pissing down, did nothing for hours, caught the minibus back home.
#AwayDays

[Queenslander]

I've been rubbing like 3 out

Show off.

[randomlegend]

mugbull

Are you doing all the sleep hygiene stuff? It does really help if not.

[Spikey M]

He's sleeping next to the toilet. He's not even doing basic hygiene.

[mugbull]

Yeah yeah, i’ve been very sleep hygienic. I’ve been f.luxing hard, doing breathing exercises, using bed only for sleep. I’ve even started drinking chamomile tea, and I haven’t had tea in years. All of that doesn’t seem to help one bit when you spend the whole night thinking about how bizarre the concept of falling asleep is though

[randomlegend]

No screens for an hour before bed?

[mugbull]

That's not really possible for me, but my screens lose all their blue light for several hours before bed (that's what f.lux is for) and get dimmed, which is apparently the cause of that trigger

[randomlegend]

Yeah I know. When I saw the specialist migraine people they said that even with flux it's still worth getting off screens for an hour before if possible, although flux is better than nothing.

[Giggles]

What the fuck is sleep hygiene?

[Spikey M]

Give Heroin a go.

[Giggles]

I hate the yellow phone screen.

[randomlegend]

What the fuck is sleep hygiene?

It's a bit of a wanky term I know (I used it so he could easily Google if he wanted) but it's just simple measured you take to improve sleep. No caffeine after certain time, no screens for an hour, no TV in the bedroom, blah blah blah.

[-james-]

Get an audiobook. I've fallen asleep to Sapiens by Noah Yuval Harari more or less every night for the last couple of years. Just tune into the words and you're a gonner.

[Giggles]

It's a bit of a wanky term I know (I used it so he could easily Google if he wanted) but it's just simple measured you take to improve sleep. No caffeine after certain time, no screens for an hour, no TV in the bedroom, blah blah blah.

Ah, I thought it was going to be something about cleanliness of the bed, room, etc. Some of those things can definitely help though, I'm always caffeine free after 1pm but I negate it all with the phone/tablet. Must have put in about 16 hours screen time yesterday alone and will always be on it after I get into the bed.

[Giggles]

Get an audiobook. I've fallen asleep to Sapiens by Noah Yuval Harari more or less every night for the last couple of years. Just tune into the words and you're a gonner.

If single that's a goer but I'd never get away with podcasts, etc in bed.

[SvN]

You're not meant to be playing them through speakers.

[Giggles]

You're not meant to be playing them through speakers.

I couldn't sleep with headphones on/in.

[Spikey M]

Pussy.

[Giggles]

I can't really do them at all anyway, in bed or not. They completely remove all awareness of my surroundings.

[Lewis]

No caffeine before bed cheers sleep hygienists we were lost but now are found.

[Giggles]

Speaking of which, my boss gave up caffeine altogether and he's like a new man. It must be real poison altogether.

[mugbull]

Get an audiobook. I've fallen asleep to Sapiens by Noah Yuval Harari more or less every night for the last couple of years. Just tune into the words and you're a gonner.

Been trying stuff like that. First 20 minutes are relaxing, then i start really trying to "tune into the words" as I get all spasticed out that I'm not asleep yet, and after about an hour i get sick of listening to people talk and I turn it off.

you goin speaker or headphones for that? because yeah, there's no way i'll fall asleep with my headphones in if my phone alarm is supposed to be what wakes me in the morning

[-james-]

If single that's a goer but I'd never get away with podcasts, etc in bed.

Girlfriend uses it for sleep hygeine as well thankfully.



Been trying stuff like that. First 20 minutes are relaxing, then i start really trying to "tune into the words" as I get all spasticed out that I'm not asleep yet, and after about an hour i get sick of listening to people talk and I turn it off.

you goin speaker or headphones for that? because yeah, there's no way i'll fall asleep with my headphones in if my phone alarm is supposed to be what wakes me in the morning

I just play it off my phone on my bedside table on a 15/30 minute timer. I'm asleep within 5 minutes most of the time which used to be unthinkable for me.

[mugbull]

Wow, i don’t think i’ve ever fallen asleep in under 20 minutes while sober. Might as well try something informational

[Disco]

I just knocked myself in the dick with the metal end of my belt while folding up a pair of trousers.

[Ian]

Has it helped you get to sleep?

[bruhnaldo]

I had a tough sleeping spell but ironically I started watching netflix on my laptop before bed and focusing on the plot of a silly sitcom rather than trying so hard to fall asleep helped my mind slow down considerably tbh.

It's not traditional but it helped me.

[SincereTheRebel]

All the supermarkets I buy my criticals at (Lidl, Morrisons and Aldi) have all decided over the past 7 days, to change the complete layout of the three shops. Its like walking into three new markets now.

[Shindig]

I hate that. I expect it at places like Poundland where stock is just flung wherever there's floor and shelf space but not at a proper supermarket.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's a trick to get you browsing and looking round the shop more.

They don't want Mr. Sincere just going to get some anti-fungal cream for his junk and then leaving.

[Boydy]

Grown adults making a fuss about their birthday. Okay, maybe if it's a 'big year' do something for it but otherwise shut the fuck up.

[SincereTheRebel]

It's a trick to get you browsing and looking round the shop more.

They don't want Mr. Sincere just going to get some anti-fungal cream for his junk and then leaving.

The stuff I need, cant be bought off the shelve. I got to the clinic tomorrow.


Grown adults making a fuss about their birthday. Okay, maybe if it's a 'big year' do something for it but otherwise shut the fuck up.

I stopped giving a fuck once i turned about 16. However, I now apperaicne the socks and vest reloads. I used to hate getting underwear as gifts when i was a child, but now its great.

[Dave.]

Grown adults making a fuss about their birthday. Okay, maybe if it's a 'big year' do something for it but otherwise shut the fuck up.

And linked to this, grown adults who have a "birthday week" rather than just a birthday.

[Spikey M]

Grown adults making a fuss about their birthday. Okay, maybe if it's a 'big year' do something for it but otherwise shut the fuck up.

I went to Pepper Pig World for my last birthday. :cool:

[Ian]

I was at work for mine recently.

Multiple people were positively aghast at the thought of working on your birthday, as if there's anything special about it.

Save the days off for something good.

[Giggles]

The big ones are the only ones I do anything for. Anything divisible by 2.

[Giggles]

I did milk 3 weeks out of my last one though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I just go to a nice restaurant with some family members.

[SincereTheRebel]

My birthdays, I make the effort to spend with my mother. That day is important to her.

[Kikó]

The big ones are the only ones I do anything for. Anything divisible by 2.

So most of them?

[Disco]

There are several around the same time in our family so we normally get together for a meal or something, left up to me I wouldn't mark the day at all.

[Giggles]

So most of them?

Thatsthejoke.gif

[Kikó]

Thatsthejoke.gif

Oh walked into that one.

[phonics]

Dating in 2019 is a dating app that’s higher maintenance than any woman you’d ever want to meet on there.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EEw15lYW4AA80As.jpg

[Disco]

Charge your phone you pervert.

[phonics]

Charge your phone you pervert.

Battery is absolutely fucked at this point. That's maybe two hours after taking it off charge. Can't wait for that iPhone 11.

[Disco]

The battery is so crap you're going to buy another one?

[phonics]

The battery is so crap you're going to buy another one?

It's 5 years old operating on an OS made for phones with almost twice the power capabilities. Welcome to how lithium batteries work.

[Shindig]

Nah, you just use it loads.

[Spikey M]

Wish.com

[bruhnaldo]

Bumble hits me with those notifications all the time despite the fact i've never once actually spoken to another human on there.

"You're amazing! And so is the person dying to meet you!!! Swipe now to meet your match!" type stuff.

I downloaded it for my trip to Portland, used one of my dozen apple gift cards to upgrade to the pro version, and then spent my entirety in Portland higher than a kite never once opening the app. Idiot.

[Ian]

My mate woke up after a drunken night out to find he'd dropped £70 or something similarly ludicrous on an Elite Singles subscription that he is entirely not the target market for and doesn't have the confidence or the chat to pull anybody dickhead enough to go on there.

[Baz]

Could've been worse - he could have bought signed framed Braveheart memorabilia.

[Ian]

Did you do that?

[Boydy]

Foe did.

[Ian]

Excellent.

[Foe]

£70 would have been a bargain too. Mine was £95. :moop:

[phonics]

Some absolute basic commented this into my timeline.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/270326079648956433/624373205255192597/unknown.png
2k likes, 3.5k shares, 13k comments on possibly the most banal fake text message I've ever seen

[Ian]

I didn't realise I had a headache until this fucking bagpiper set up to busk across the road from our office.

[Disco]

No bagpipe (a name even Americans would be proud of) has ever produced a pleasant noise so I assume he's hoping someone will pay him to go away.

[Foe]

No bagpipe (a name even Americans would be proud of) has ever produced a pleasant noise so I assume he's hoping someone will pay him to go away.
So wrong. Such a pleasant instrument.

[Disco]

The pipe bit maybe, but the horrible droning bag that goes with it is just awful.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bagpipes are the worst instrument known to man (second being the accordion) and one of my Dad's friends played one. I've heard it way too many times.

[mugbull]

Bagpipes are great. Guitar is where we went wrong

[Boydy]

Bagpipes are great. A proper pipe band is brilliant.

[Pepe]

Not a big fan of bagpipes myself. The accordion isn't great when used in the sulky European way, but throw it in a cumbia and then it's perfect.

[Foe]

Bagpipes are great. A proper pipe band is brilliant.

Red hot chilli pipers. So good.

[John]

Bagpipes sound like someone wheezing into a too close microphone forever.

[Baz]

Stood in dog poo and got in the car. Didn’t realise and did my usual “the floors wet outside” ritual of rubbing my feet on the car mat. Then I got a whiff. :mad:

[bruhnaldo]

I got some nice rubber car mats for like $12 the other day.

$12 > scrubbing shit out of carpet for any hour

[Giggles]

Never take a car from a dealer until they put in a set for free.

[igor_balis]

Best example of bagpipes are the not-actual-bagpipes guitar riff in 'in a big country' by big country.


https://youtu.be/657TZDHZqj4

[Baz]

I love that song.

When I first joined last FM (when it was Audioscrobbler) they were the first band it recommended to me.

[-james-]

The finest hour of the bagpipe occured fifty years ago [you may skip the first 45 seconds].


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8jOhqOsouM

[Lewis]

It was Bon Scott pretending to play them on the back of that lorry.

[Baz]

I got some nice rubber car mats for like $12 the other day.

$12 > scrubbing shit out of carpet for any hour

Blasted it with the hosepipe and then put it in the washing machine. Sorted. :thbup:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shower in my hotel room is either 'fuck that's hot' or 'time to melt your skin off' :moop:

[bruhnaldo]

This man grinded literal shit into his mat and is gonna throw it in on a rinse cycle :|

[igor_balis]

Blasted it with the hosepipe and then put it in the washing machine. Sorted. :thbup:

I enjoyed watching the snapchat of the wash.

[Spikey M]

I just caught some smack head cunt trying to steal/rob from my car. I assume that was what he was trying to do anyway, he had a bag with him and was fucking about with a palette knife.

I'm feeling a mixture of coolness (I kicked his legs out from under him :drool: ) and dread now (we go away for a week tomorrow).

I've told him if he fucks off and doesn't come back I won't call the old bill. Mostly because I can't be fucked to wait 9 hours for them to come out and take a report that they won't follow up on.

[Ian]

https://media.makeameme.org/created/no-mercy-sweep.jpg

[Lewis]

Idiotmouse. :cool:

[Pepe]

Spikey walking into the office tomorrow:

https://i.makeagif.com/media/7-30-2015/xxv-wa.gif

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Have you got a gif of Spikey returning from holiday and realising his car is gone?

[Pepe]

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/TinyKlutzyAquaticleech-size_restricted.gif

[Spikey M]

Car will be coming with us. It's entrance through the back door I'm worried about. ( :henn0rz: )

[Giggles]

Set up some Home Alone/Skyfall style comedy traps.

[bruhnaldo]

Pepe please tell me you googled "european car park" or something similar for that image as well lolololol that was fucking hilarious

[Shindig]

One for the thread: People in their 20's and 30's thinking 'lol' and posts entirely in lower case is acceptable. Sorry, Bruh. You do it a lot but I see it elsewhere.

[Pepe]

Pepe please tell me you googled "european car park" or something similar for that image as well lolololol that was fucking hilarious

Just Googled 'Spikey is a mong' and that was the first hit.

[bruhnaldo]

Sorry, Bruh. You do it a lot but I see it elsewhere.

here i was going to just take a deep breath and let this obvious disrespect go but low and behold you fucking edited this direct shot in

well i just went back and removed all upper cases and punctuation so take that comma cunt exclamation

[bruhnaldo]

I will say this is the only forum I've ever been to in my 20+ years of internet anyone has actually given a single fuck about punctuation and things of that nature. Ironically, this isn't the first time this was brought to my attention either. Siiiiiigh.

[Giggles]

That’s because we’re all old.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's also one of the reasons we've survived and thrived for this many years. Quality control. Sure, you can say worthwhile things writing like diljeet, but nobody wants to trawl through reading them.

[Shindig]

That and text speak is redundant.

[Spikey M]

lol rekt

[bruhnaldo]

What is text speak

[Spikey M]

Grab sum ale n den u will c

[Giggles]

What is text speak

The way some people wrote because they were using a T9 keyboard on a Nokia.

[Lewis]

avin a piss lol

[Offshore Toon]

It all depends on how you want your tone to be perceived. I assumed we'd all moved on from giving a shit but autocorrect kept us above board. I wouldn't bother to capitalise on a phone if I had to press shift each time.

Regardless, Shindig is not somebody that should ever be listened to when it comes to judging what is "acceptable."

[mugbull]

I will say this is the only forum I've ever been to in my 20+ years of internet anyone has actually given a single fuck about punctuation and things of that nature. Ironically, this isn't the first time this was brought to my attention either. Siiiiiigh.

This forum is full of lunatics and shut-ins. I’d say theres about 50 other characteristics that make TTH a circus before you even get to how everyone types like a 50 year old drafting a letter of complaint

[Lewis]

Ninety per cent of Giggles' posts are literally that.

[Spikey M]

I do enjoy how Muggers misunderstand this place. I think it's a result of being foreign twice. He has both the language barrier (Czech) and a failure to grasp dry humour (Yank).

[Pepe]

Yet he sticks around, so he is good in my books. Despite being a massive twat.

[mugbull]

Brits always patting themselves on the back for their sense of humor is pretty lol, as if no one else ever tried the deadpan style.

[bruhnaldo]

The best "Brits and comedy" trope is deffo the one where they're generally not even remotely funny but alas "You just don't get our dark humoUr because you're a yank".

[Spikey M]

It's not that nobody else has tried it, it's just hard to understand the humour of people that, well, aren't your people. I lived with a French bloke for well over a year and I love him, but his sense of humour was just plain strange to me. The same with the Indian bloke I work with.

British, Irish and Australians are able to get each other in a way that I don't think people of other nations get us. For the most part, anyway.

You see Giggles as just being a mardy cunt, John as being a capricious cunt and, probably now, me as being a patronising cunt. But it's just a different strain of humour. You take it all too seriously.

[Pepe]

John having a strain of humo(u)r. :harold:

[bruhnaldo]

This dude said mardy as if that's a real word the fucking audacity of these people astounds.

[mugbull]

It's not that nobody else has tried it, it's just hard to understand the humour of people that, well, aren't your people. I lived with a French bloke for well over a year and I love him, but his sense of humour was just plain strange to me. The same with the Indian bloke I work with.

British, Irish and Australians are able to get each other in a way that I don't think people of other nations get us. For the most part, anyway.

You see Giggles as just being a mardy cunt, John as being a capricious cunt and, probably now, me as being a patronising cunt. But it's just a different strain of humour. You take it all too seriously.

Nah you're pretty funny, Giggles and John just suck

[bruhnaldo]

LTILTFYO: Where my company is stationed at this hospital is in a line of several workstations separated only by a glass sorta like this:

|8|7|6|5|
======
|4|3|2|1|

I sit at #8. There used to not be anyone at any of the desks on my side except occasionally at #5.

Now, though, because there wasn't double monitors at #8, a woman has moved down to #7 to do follow up calls with doctor's offices, insurances, and patients.

Long story less long, she's fucking yelling into her headset and any time something of even the slightest of note happens she looks over at me like i'm the fucking camera on The Office and expects me to, noticing her head turn, look back over at her and make one of those "aha that's crazy" faces.

It's fucking exhausting. And on top of the yelling and the consistent calls for attention, I get the same exact stories about how people are crazy, how it's exhausting having to deal with these people, etc. etc.

I used to go 10 hours a day barely speaking with anyone outside of very polite and pleasant work banter.

Now every 5 minutes I'm expected to participate in this God damned mother fucking song and dance.

Whilst typing this she literally just exclaimed AH THESE PPL LOVE TO WAIT TO THE LAST MINUTE and looked over at me while I'm literally typing about how much I hate that.

AAAH I HATE BEING POLITE I WISH I COULD TELL EVERYONE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AaAAAAaaaAH!!! (I realize the no-caps filter is going to kick in and make that look less stressful so just imagine i'm yelling).

[Waffdon]

What the fuck

[bruhnaldo]

How in the fuck did I manage to type that much about something so trivial God i fucking hate myself.

[P_3]

She clearly fancies you. Get in there son.

[Queenslander]

Extinction Reballion wasting everyones time in the city this week is already at peak levels of pathetic and its only Tuesday. My street is full of them and I kid you fucking not they invoke Ghandi while trying to win me over.

[Giggles]

Extinction Reballion wasting everyones time in the city this week is already at peak levels of pathetic and its only Tuesday. My street is full of them and I kid you fucking not they invoke Ghandi while trying to win me over.

Those cunts all need to be thrown in the sea.

[Queenslander]

Those cunts all need to be thrown in the sea.

The mob that come up from Melbourne are a deadset cult.

[Shindig]

It's the first protest movement I've seen in a while where they're legitimately doing more harm to their cause.

[Queenslander]

It is the worlds dumbest echo chamber.

[Offshore Toon]

I think it's justified. Governments don't pay attention to anything truly peaceful. I'm not necessarily pro-XR, but I'm pro doing what it takes to get results.

[Shindig]

The moment a drone gets sucked into a jet engine is the moment it ends.

[Lewis]

The out-and-out mentalness of their 'demands' seems to have become lost in all the lolling at them for being idiots. They basically want to turn the last three centuries off.

[Shindig]

Yeah, they want carbon neutrality in six years. Putin's right to laugh the lot off but he should've just told them straight: You cannot pivot that quickly. Even if you could, it puts millions of jobs at risk. Millions.

[Boydy]

Yeah, they want carbon neutrality in six years. Putin's right to laugh the lot off but he should've just told them straight: You cannot pivot that quickly. Even if you could, it puts millions of jobs at risk. Millions.

Do you know what else puts millions of jobs at risk?

[Giggles]

Do you know what else puts millions of jobs at risk?

Environment mentalists.

[Shindig]

Do you know what else puts millions of jobs at risk?

Yeah, I'm sure they line up at the dole to tell the DWP Carbon Dioxide took wor jerbs.

[randomlegend]

Is Giggles as actual climate change denier?

[Yevrah]

Either the forecasts of expected temperature rises and the damage caused as a result are being over-egged (I don't think they are) or it's all pointless.

We're simply not going to reduce carbon emissions by 50% by 2030, so we may as well be spending our time looking for viable alternatives instead.

[Giggles]

Is Giggles as actual climate change denier?

There's obviously some sort of an issue but the fact most people (mainly PLASTIC STRAW cunts and vegans) are just using it to puff their tails out on social media makes a cunt of the whole thing. Plus I'm middle aged and have no kids so I couldn't give a fuck anyway, even the real activists are only making my last days inconvenient.

[Shindig]

Electric cars seem to building momentum. Mini are pushing one and FIAT's testing a 500 ahead of next year's launch. Aviation's a weird one because they're always pushing for more efficient engines. Fuel is a carrier's biggest expense.

And plant loads of trees. There's a lot of green space about that feels a little underused.

[Giggles]

Electric cars seem to building momentum. Mini are pushing one and FIAT's testing a 500 ahead of next year's launch. Aviation's a weird one because they're always pushing for more efficient engines. Fuel is a carrier's biggest expense.

And plant loads of trees. There's a lot of green space about that feels a little underused.

Electric cars are another load of me hole. The bigger win would be keeping all cars for longer and using things for a proper lifespan. Instead you've some smug cunt grinning out of a Leaf without a thought of what it took to make the fucking thing.

[Lewis]

I read that somewhere earlier. It's all well and good thinking NEW ELECTRIC CAR, but just building that new car (without even getting into what goes into the batteries, or how you provide the electricity for them) is by definition a massive waste ('waste') of resources compared to keeping an existing one running.

[Yevrah]

And this is the issue, it's mostly ill thought out token gesture shit. To actually stop the impact it would take a fundamentally, properly fucking fundamental, change to the way we live and very few are actually prepared to do that.

There's also no chance the 2nd/3rd World will get anywhere near it either as they'll just see it as the established order keeping themselves ahead. Think when GS was moaning about Man Utd's inherent advantage over Liverpool because their 90s success coincided with the Premier League.

[mugbull]

Without having looked at the stats, I highly doubt the pollutive impct of building an electric car is somehow equivalent to the pollutive impact of driving a car on gasoline

[Giggles]

And this is the issue, it's mostly ill thought out token gesture shit. To actually stop the impact it would take a fundamentally, properly fucking fundamental, change to the way we live and very few are actually prepared to do that.

There's also no chance the 2nd/3rd World will get anywhere near it either as they'll just see it as the established order keeping themselves ahead. Think when GS was moaning about Man Utd's inherent advantage over Liverpool because their 90s success coincided with the Premier League.

The world today is about posturing and that's all people will continue to do, rather than actually solve anything. It's the greatest excuse of all time for revenue collection too. Tax everything because ENVIRONMENT!

[Giggles]

I read that somewhere earlier. It's all well and good thinking NEW ELECTRIC CAR, but just building that new car (without even getting into what goes into the batteries, or how you provide the electricity for them) is by definition a massive waste ('waste') of resources compared to keeping an existing one running.


https://i.pinimg.com/originals/88/03/3b/88033b3a9d2faebd0a35a9000c7a545a.png

[Boydy]

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/88/03/3b/88033b3a9d2faebd0a35a9000c7a545a.png

You know we can make electricity from renewable sources, right?

[Kikó]

Even if it's annoying when you're caught up in it, I'm glad they are. The world has to radically change but it won't which will mean a mass reduction in the world's population and way of life.

[Giggles]

You know we can make electricity from renewable sources, right?

Yes I had indeed heard that alright, but that would constitute a long term plan. Do you think someone patting themselves on the back in a Hyundai Kona gives a shite where the electricity comes from or what the manufacturing costs to the planet were to replace their 2017 diesel car? Do they fuck.

It's like all these other wankers we were originally talking about. They just want the day off school/work.

[Lewis]

Your renewables also aren't much good if everyone is coming home and plugging their cars in at six o'clock. Nuclear would be, but people are stupid about that.

[Spikey M]

You know we can make electricity from renewable sources, right?

Oil is (slowly) renewable.

[phonics]

We're on 100% renewables now but the vast majority of that is hydro-electric and if the glaciers keep going the way they are we can say goodbye to that.

Our utilities are state-owned so instead of having price differences between companies you choose how much of your power you want from solar/nuclear etc. and pay based on that.

However, due to the age everything was built in we're over reliant on Gas and only 20% of that comes from Bio versions of the stuff. Rest has to be imported.

[mugbull]

The world really does need more nuclear. Or at least the Western world. You wouldn't really trust too many of the middling countries to not cause a meltdown

[Yaysus]

Either the forecasts of expected temperature rises and the damage caused as a result are being over-egged (I don't think they are) or it's all pointless.


the guy who "invented" the hockey stick temperature graph that the ipcc and govs use as proof of temps rising just lost in court because he refuses to show proof of it happening

https://www.technocracy.news/fatal-courtroom-act-ruins-michael-hockey-stick-mann/

[mugbull]

Actually, this Yaysus fool is the biggest retard on the forum

[Kikó]

the guy who "invented" the hockey stick temperature graph that the ipcc and govs use as proof of temps rising just lost in court because he refuses to show proof of it happening

https://www.technocracy.news/fatal-courtroom-act-ruins-michael-hockey-stick-mann/

That's actually false.

[Pepe]

We're on 100% renewables now

No you're not.

[phonics]

No you're not.

This is the choice for your electricity.

https://i.imgur.com/mwmxvBS.png

[Pepe]

Transport and industry also exist.

EDIT: Also, no way I can read that.

[phonics]

I was referring to the home obviously, I don't know the source of everyone elses. But on that front most of the transport system is covered by Tram & Electric buses. You can also install solar panels and sell the excess to the government.


EDIT: Also, no way I can read that.

You speak a latin language, Solaire & Hydrolique can't be that hard to interpret.