The little things in life that fuck you off

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kerlon was a genius.

That seal dribble :drool:

[Boydy]

Dennis Bergkamp.

[Lewis]

Genius is about doing things that others can't do. Messi doesn't do that, he just does things that others can do with a far greater degree of success and consistency.

Ronaldinho was closer.

That is how I interpret it. That probably mis-quoted quote about hitting the target nobody else can see. The Tactics Truck has probably run the concept over for the foreseeable future (just as there was no headline military genius through the mechanised twentieth century wars, when the previous centuries had plenty), so we'll have to find it in celebrations and corner routines.

[Shindig]

Or weird improvised flicks. Or walking back onside after tying your shoelaces to score.

[Giggles]

My work laptop has just taken 24 minutes to be in a usable state from power on.

[Lewis]

I got a train to the middle of nowhere today, and when I asked the pleb in the ticket office (open two hours a day) if he had the number for a local taxi firm he told me he wasn't allowed to tell me.

[SvN]

My work laptop has just taken 24 minutes to be in a usable state from power on.
If they won't buy you a new one, ask for an SSD upgrade. My work laptop is 6 years old and takes 15 seconds to boot.

[Giggles]

If they won't buy you a new one, ask for an SSD upgrade. My work laptop is 6 years old and takes 15 seconds to boot.

I had been going to keep asking for a new one until the whole episode with my car accident so I daren't now.

I had been thinking of an SSD but how do you get Windows on it once you swap over?

[phonics]

My work laptop has just taken 24 minutes to be in a usable state from power on.

I bought my own laptop and then asked the company to reimburse me 40%. That way IT couldn't load all their nonsense on. There's like 3 McAfee programs booting before all the other shit has even realised the computers on. These corporations and their spyware makes shit unusable.

[phonics]

I had been going to keep asking for a new one until the whole episode with my car accident so I daren't now.

I had been thinking of an SSD but how do you get Windows on it once you swap over?

You format the drive that Windows is on, reinstall Windows, then only keep documents on that drive. All your programs you keep on the SSD. To reinstall windows you just download it to a USB off the website and then put your product code in which you can find via: https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/help/10749/windows-10-find-product-key

[Giggles]

You format the drive that Windows is on, reinstall Windows, then only keep documents on that drive. All your programs you keep on the SSD. To reinstall windows you just download it to a USB off the website and then put your product code in which you can find via: https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/help/10749/windows-10-find-product-key

What do you mean keep documents? If I get an SSD then the old one will be going in the crusher.

I keep everything on OneDrive anyway so I can just resync when I change over.

[phonics]

I've been a desktop user for so long I completely forgot a laptop can only have one hard-drive.

Your reliance on the Cloud considering your privacy obsession boggles my mind.

[Giggles]

I've been a desktop user for so long I completely forgot a laptop can only have one hard-drive.

Your reliance on the Cloud considering your privacy obsession boggles my mind.

There's nothing to do with me. I mean customer stuff, machine documentation, my travel receipts, etc is all in the cloud. About 200GB worth and I just back it up to an external hard drive once a month in case anything is ever lost.

I'll need to reinstall some software if I swap but that'll be about an hour's work once I make a list.

[Giggles]

One other thing, is there a website that can scan your PC and tell you what hard drive will work? Something like what Crucial does for RAM.

[phonics]

They will all work, just need to be in the right format. You can do it yourself in 5 seconds. Do you need it to work on both Mac and Windows?

[Giggles]

They will all work, just need to be in the right format. You can do it yourself in 5 seconds. Do you need it to work on both Mac and Windows?

Windows 10 and I don't want it to be external. I'll have to check it out more as my laptop is a piece of shit.

[Giggles]

Something like this?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0784SLQM6

[phonics]

Something like this?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0784SLQM6

Just go with Samsung, the price difference is barely noticable because Samsung are tyring to undercut the market and the quality is so much more reliable.


Windows 10 and I don't want it to be external. I'll have to check it out more as my laptop is a piece of shit.

Can you take a pic of the 'This PC' properties? It'd help me identify which will be okay.

[Giggles]

Just go with Samsung, the price difference is barely noticable because Samsung are tyring to undercut the market and the quality is so much more reliable.



Can you take a pic of the 'This PC' properties? It'd help me identify which will be okay.

Will do, cheers. I'll be in around 7am. I know it's a HP Pavilion with an A10 in it, but I'm not sure on the model off the top of my head.

I do be half tempted to use my own laptop some days as it's much better but don't want to go down that road as it cost be a fortune. There's no ethernet port either without an adapter which is a pain in the hoop.

[phonics]

Someone at work going to do the repairs for you? I fucking hate replacing parts on a laptop and HPs + Dells are absolutely awful at letting you access parts to change them out.

edit: Just did a google, that Pavillon looks like a piece of piss to change parts. Shouldn't be an issue.

[Giggles]

Someone at work going to do the repairs for you? I fucking hate replacing parts on a laptop and HPs + Dells are absolutely awful at letting you access parts to change them out.

There isn't anyone in work. Even if I was getting a new laptop it'd be a case of me going somewhere with my credit card an buying it, or getting one online. I was originally going to see about ordering a ThinkPad L380.

[phonics]

I like my ThinkPad for what it is. It's a bit of a beast considering I use it for video rendering and the like. Is that the one that folds into a tablet? That's what I've got. 90% of my issues with it come from all the Lenovo nonsense on it though.

[Giggles]

I like my ThinkPad for what it is. It's a bit of a beast considering I use it for video rendering and the like. Is that the one that folds into a tablet? That's what I've got. 90% of my issues with it come from all the Lenovo nonsense on it though.

I think it folds but that wouldn't matter if it didn't. It's the size that appeals as I bring mine around a lot and they have the little ball thing instead of the mouse. I still miss that from my old IBM version.
The i5 with 256 SSD configuration is only €900 too.

The HP is a horse if a thing to carry about and the screen is dung.

[phonics]

I think it folds but that wouldn't matter if it didn't. It's the size that appeals as I bring mine around a lot and they have the little ball thing instead of the mouse. I still miss that from my old IBM version.
The i5 with 256 SSD configuration is only €900 too.

The HP is a horse if a thing to carry about and the screen is dung.

My one is noticeably heavy but the only other laptop I can compare it to is a Macbook Air which seems unfair considering it's missing 90% of the stuff that would make it weigh anything.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

After 10 years at my company and never an issue with anyone I managed to get an annoyed, condescending 'I'm disappointed you asked that' from my manager (of 5 months) after asking a perfectly reasonable question.

It's managed to keep me fucked off all day. Utter melt.

[Lewis]

Obviously the new man wants to run a tighter ship than the last joker. Get with the programme.

[Shindig]

Windows Update choosing the moment you're about to go to work as the time to update.

[igor_balis]

This fucking bakeoff weab

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This fucking bakeoff weab
So much so, I hate her.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Obviously the new man wants to run a tighter ship than the last joker. Get with the programme.

Don't you start, Betts.

[Giggles]

Weab is a new one on me.

[randomlegend]

Weab is a new one on me.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/weeaboo

[-james-]

This fucking bakeoff weab


So much so, I hate her.

She's fine. Fucking Terry can do one though.

[igor_balis]

She's fine. Fucking Terry can do one though.

r u mental?

literally turned to my mum and said "probably some japanese shit" when the narrator said something about kim-joy doing something a bit DIFFERENT!! with the chelsea buns. "so i'm going to be using the tangzhong method", we both got a good lol out of that

i'm no fucking luddite, i think using alternative methods and stuff is good and interesting or whatever, but she's SUCH a fucking self-parody. even down to the games workshop boyfriend, bet she initiates sex by asking if she can haz snuggles. dreadful.

[Lewis]

Can taste the bitterness in the air from here.

[igor_balis]

i just get annoyed by people thinking that liking Japanese culture is a substitute for a personality. why is it ALWAYS Japan?? i'd love it if someone came on bake-off and was obsessed with like, i dunno, moldova.

[Giggles]

How many people like that have you came across?

[igor_balis]

How many people like that have you came across?

in real life 3 or 4, at varying levels of the spectrum (and probably other spectrums in fairness), and many more online etc.

[Lewis]

I would like to go to Japan, but having to take cases full of normal food seems like a bit of a ballache.

[igor_balis]

Had you down as more of a Thailand kinda guy really.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lewis would probably die in Asia if he didn't ship over some crisps.

[Lewis]

That's what I mean. Take a steamer trunk full of protein bars and peanuts.

[randomlegend]

Sushi is amazing.

EDIT: I also hate weebs, even if I'm starting to look suspiciously like one.

[Disco]

It's the body pillow that does it.

[Queenslander]

Sushi, Indian and Thai are as common as Macca's down here. There is a particuly dodgy sushi joint that has $2 mondays with very suss looking avocado.

[Spikey M]

Look at all the Anti-Weabs acting like they’re not not in their 30’s playing Pokemon.

[Shindig]

That's fine. Being into anime in your 30s is a whole different beast.

[Spikey M]

Shut it Weab.

[Mazuuurk]

That is how I interpret it. That probably mis-quoted quote about hitting the target nobody else can see. The Tactics Truck has probably run the concept over for the foreseeable future (just as there was no headline military genius through the mechanised twentieth century wars, when the previous centuries had plenty), so we'll have to find it in celebrations and corner routines.

Lew I love how you never ever miss any kind of opportunity to bring War History onto the stage.

Still, it's fascinating, so do tell? Genuinely interested in what makes a military genius (in your view I suppose) and why they stopped being around in the 20th century...?

[bruhnaldo]

That's fine. Being into anime in your 30s is a whole different beast.

Welp, now I gotta finish the rest of Naruto in 4 months.

[Lewis]

Lew I love how you never ever miss any kind of opportunity to bring War History onto the stage.

Still, it's fascinating, so do tell? Genuinely interested in what makes a military genius (in your view I suppose) and why they stopped being around in the 20th century...?

Basically, there was no room for it. In the Second World War for example, between the size (and nature) of the armies, the power (and abundance) of the weaponry, and the political accountability, there was very little scope for individuals and/or small groups to come up with and implement extraordinary wheezes as previous battlefield commanders had. There were isolated and smaller scale examples of it, most notably on both sides in North Africa and the Mediterranean, where half the time they didn't have enough equipment and were given a relatively free hand to make the best of it, but nothing comparable in terms of individual input to something like Frederick the Great taking on the rest of Europe or Gustavus Adolphus tearing through Germany. As far as the twentieth century goes your best bets for military genius would be people fighting insurgent campaigns, and doing so with massive scope for personal command, like Christiaan de Wet and Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck.

[Boydy]

You forgot Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness.

[Disco]

The product description of this toaster:

https://i.imgur.com/yENwVgr.png

https://www.johnlewis.com/dualit-newgen-2-slice-toaster/p2843289

[John]

How is it doing an odd number of slices an hour with two slots?

Scroll right to the bottom of that and you can download their '2017/2018 Modern Slavery statement.' That seems like something worth reading.

[Disco]

It's about as interesting as you'd imagine.

[Yevrah]

I would like to go to Japan, but having to take cases full of normal food seems like a bit of a ballache.

The local food is pretty horrid, but there's enough Western stuff around to get by.

[Shindig]

I feel like you have to deal with the food as part of the experience, to be fair.

[Yevrah]

Tried it for a bit, it's genuinely shit so why would one continue?

[Shindig]

Fair enough. Thinking about it, I'm not sure what about Japanese cuisine I'd be into.

[Pepe]

I've seen what you eat in the UK, no way Japanese food is worse.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Japanese food (like all Asian food) looks quality.

Bar the mental shit obviously.

[Spikey M]

Isn’t Japanese just Fish and Rice in different configurations?

[Yevrah]

I mean it's obviously better for you, hence why the life expectancy over there is what it is, but there's absolutely nothing to it.

Went out with my ex's brother and his Japanese girlfriend and by the time I was eating a horse's hoof in (what I can only describe as) flavoured water masquerading as soup, I was gagging for a burger and coronary heart disease.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've seen what you eat in the UK, no way Japanese food is worse.

I've always thought we and the Japanese should have the opposite cuisines. Raw fish and bollocks vegetables in salty sauce should be the fare of a grey island in the north Atlantic, whereas the Japanese pervert/psychopath tendency would be very much at home with boiled offal and potato smileys.

[bruhnaldo]

My friend just came back from Japan and she said the food was amazing.

She said the ramen they have there is unbelievable.

[Lewis]

Is there actually anything in our 'bland' food owing itself to being rich enough to have just had quality ingredients worth roasting on their own, whilst the French (and all the other poverty countries from Italy to India) had to disguise their weeds and famine-racked cattle with all manner of culinary invention, or is that just the stuff of long eighteenth century cartoons?

[Jimmy Floyd]

As a child of the 80s who grew up in the 90s, you should have the COLLECTIVE MEMORY that British food is utter shite and we rely heavily on overseas imports. A bit like our football league.

[Giggles]

British food is class. I'd take it over French or Japanese any day.

[randomlegend]

Sushi is amazing.


As above.

[Shindig]

Not sure where to put this but I did witness a fist-fight outside of Greggs on my lunch. One of the regular homeless(?), mental blokes was being pinned down by a workman. Apparently some shit kicked off in the queue. Anyways, the mentalist got up, got knocked down three times by solitary punches and just kept getting up. Like he was looking for a hospital bed.

Fuck all of that. Although I respect the ability to lay a guy out from a punch they're expecting. The fucking state of this town.

[Spikey M]

Application forms that ask for exactly what’s on your CV.

‘What Education do you have?’
It’s on my CV, mate.

‘Work History?’
Cv.

‘References?’
.........

[mugbull]

Fuck that shit. Then there's those companies that have software that tries to auto-fill those fields from your attached CV so you'll have to go delete "911 Elsinore Drive, Palo Alto, CA 94303" from your work experiences and "30/06/96" from your educational background

[Baz]

1996? :stamford:

[Pepe]

American suburban living.

My wife was in front of the house this morning and some old cunt approached her and told her that she should cut the grass. How about you do it yourself? Next year I will either move somewhere with no fucking garden or to a place in the middle of nowhere where I don't have any neighbors.

[Spikey M]

Move to the block, Esse.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

American suburban living.

My wife was in front of the house this morning and some old cunt approached her and told her that she should cut the grass. How about you do it yourself? Next year I will either move somewhere with no fucking garden or to a place in the middle of nowhere where I don't have any neighbors.

Aren't some conned into paying to be in some gay neighbourhood community wankathon too?

[Pepe]

I think Zom was in a place with a neighbor association. They told him how tall his bushes should be. :harold:

[Lewis]

Yeah remember 7om (faggot) being donned on a weekly basis by the Ned Flanders massive. I would set my front garden on fire.

[Pepe]

For all their proclaimed love for FREEDOMZ, they sure love meddling in other people's business. Maybe I should get myself a gun after all, fire some warning shots next time I see the cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

For all their proclaimed love for FREEDOMZ, they sure love meddling in other people's business. Maybe I should get myself a gun after all, fire some warning shots next time I see the cunt.

Just turn up one day in a lowrider blasting some rap with some other immigrants.

They'll shit their paints.

[Giggles]

I've neighbours like that so I cut hedges and lawns less often to annoy them more.

[Pepe]

Yeah remember 7om (faggot) being donned on a weekly basis by the Ned Flanders massive. I would set my front garden on fire.

Imagine the donning he must be getting in China. Shame that they don't allow him to post here.

[Lewis]

lol I forgot about him going to China. What a wanker.

[Baz]

My strimmer had a paddy earlier. A chunk of plastic flew off and then one of the two bits of wire that stick out decided to go back into the hole and I couldn't find it for love nor money, so had to take it all apart. Repacking all the wire back into the spool definitely took a few years off my life expectancy. :mad:

[Lewis]

They usually spring out with a button in the middle don't they?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They usually spring out with a button in the middle don't they?

Yeah.

I've never had a problem putting wire back in a strimmer. The wire constantly breaking is annoying though.

[bruhnaldo]

Even if you don't live in a HOA they'll try to get you for your grass.

They call these folks "Code enforcement". They generally drive around in Ford Ranger's with fancy little yellow lights on the top and pull up to your house and give you citations for things like your grass not being cut.

Buddy of mine let his grow for months and they gave him a $300 citation for it. He was practicing his "FREEDOMZ". They didn't care.

[phonics]

Our ED is leaving and part of it is each department has to buy him a book and leave a reason why. I spent like 30 minutes writing a paragraph so i didn't come across as a total mong before reading everyone elses submissions which included finely drafted messages such as "have not read it but I heard it is excellent. Enjoy it!"

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even if you don't live in a HOA they'll try to get you for your grass.

They call these folks "Code enforcement". They generally drive around in Ford Ranger's with fancy little yellow lights on the top and pull up to your house and give you citations for things like your grass not being cut.

Buddy of mine let his grow for months and they gave him a $300 citation for it. He was practicing his "FREEDOMZ". They didn't care.

The weak fuck probably paid up.

I'd have burned it.

[John]

You'd have apologised it and paid then moaned about it on here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fine, I'd have apologised but like fuck I'd have paid.

I'd probably agree to cut them to the length they wanted :(

[Pepe]

Hired someone to take care of the fucking grass. $50/week. :moop:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hired someone to take care of the fucking grass. $50/week. :moop:

I thought Mexican labour was cheap?

[Pepe]

No Mexicans here. I have to pay American labor rate. :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a shithole.

[Pepe]

Agreed.

[bruhnaldo]

Feel like when we were kids it was more commonplace for us youngsters to go 'round with a mower trying to get an odd $10-20 off your neighbors for a fresh cut.

I feel like kids are never doing anything outside now.

[Disco]

They'd all get shot these days.

[Spikey M]

Or nonced.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They'd all get shot these days.

They'd be fine if they're white.

[Pepe]

Feel like when we were kids it was more commonplace for us youngsters to go 'round with a mower trying to get an odd $10-20 off your neighbors for a fresh cut.

I feel like kids are never doing anything outside now.

I offered the neighbor's kid some money but he never got back to me the cunt.

[Disco]

I offered the neighbor's kid some money but he never got back to me the cunt.


Or nonced.

Confirmed.

[phonics]

Feel like when we were kids it was more commonplace for us youngsters to go 'round with a mower trying to get an odd $10-20 off your neighbors for a fresh cut.

I feel like kids are never doing anything outside now.

Because they're told not to by parents that think that a peedo will take a liking to then.

[Pepe]

Confirmed.

:rosebud:

[bruhnaldo]

Because they're told not to by parents that think that a peedo will take a liking to then.

Yikes that's a pretty solid point tbqh.

[Baz]

I wish a sexy pre-teen would mow my lawn for me. Or an ugly one. Or a middle-aged Austrian man. Or anyone else that isn’t me.

[Shindig]

Pay someone to pave it over.

[Baz]

That involves paying someone more than £10 every fortnight.

[Lewis]

Get Mike to make a school trip of it every couple of weeks.

[bruhnaldo]

I wish a sexy pre-teen

We just gonna let this slide, fellas?

[Giggles]

We just gonna let this slide, fellas?

Yes, because we read the rest of the words.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And we are all aware of Baz being a nonce.

[bruhnaldo]

Yes, because we read the rest of the words.

Do the rest of the words cancel out the paedo behavior somehow?! This is very concerning. *takes notes*

[Mazuuurk]

Basically, there was no room for it. In the Second World War for example, between the size (and nature) of the armies, the power (and abundance) of the weaponry, and the political accountability, there was very little scope for individuals and/or small groups to come up with and implement extraordinary wheezes as previous battlefield commanders had. There were isolated and smaller scale examples of it, most notably on both sides in North Africa and the Mediterranean, where half the time they didn't have enough equipment and were given a relatively free hand to make the best of it, but nothing comparable in terms of individual input to something like Frederick the Great taking on the rest of Europe or Gustavus Adolphus tearing through Germany. As far as the twentieth century goes your best bets for military genius would be people fighting insurgent campaigns, and doing so with massive scope for personal command, like Christiaan de Wet and Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck.


Alright, cheers.

Then is it fair to say that the "stars" of the wars in the 20th century were rather those who managed to understand and implement the infrastructure required for that type of warfare? I'm still amazed when I think about those massive blocks of concrete outside Normandy for instance.

I guess today the most important army personell are like hackers or something...

[Lewis]

Yeah, pretty much. If you were a British/American general from 1943-45 it was very hard to actually fuck something because you wouldn't have gone into anything without a massive firepower advantage, so as long as you could organise that reasonably well you were fine, like when no marks win Champions' Leagues or international trophies with loaded squads.

[SincereTheRebel]

I don't need to wear a suit every day. I only wear them for unique special occasions. Even I know, your tie is never supposed to hang past your belt line. Dude on tv right now is a disgrace.

[Giggles]

I don't need to wear a suit every day. I only wear them for unique special occasions. Even I know, your tie is never supposed to hang past your belt line. Dude on tv right now is a disgrace.

People don't really care about these things.

[Magic]

People don't really care about these things.

First thing I notice (shortly before skin colour).

[Giggles]

First thing I notice (shortly before skin colour).

You're still doing the whole mutton dressed as lamb routine though.

[Spikey M]

Just a shit Kiko.

[Magic]

I'll take that all day every day, to be honest.

[igor_balis]

it's supposed to be like halfway down the belt line, ennit?

[phonics]

I go for the shorter tie because that's what was cool in secondary school when I actually had to tie a tie and I never learnt the correct way.

[Baz]

If it touches your belt (when you’re standing) it’s too long.

[Magic]

If it touches your belt (when you’re standing) it’s too long.

We still on about ties bro.

[Kikó]

If it touches your belt (when you’re standing) it’s too long.

It's meant to sit above the belt when standing so you're correct.

[Giggles]

It's meant to be wherever the fuck you want it to be and to hell with posing tossers.

[Baz]

It's meant to sit above the belt when standing so you're correct.:cab: I know. I wear a tie everyday.

[Magic]

It's meant to be wherever the fuck you want it to be and to hell with posing tossers.

Get back in your combats and polo you blue collar cunt.

[Giggles]

Get back in your combats and polo you blue collar cunt.

One that knows what he is at least. No matter how much you claw and pretend you're always still going to be filth and a shirt isn't going to make you someone that you'll never be.

[Magic]

One that knows what he is at least. No matter how much you claw and pretend you're always still going to be filth and a shirt isn't going to make you someone that you'll never be.

I'll remember you.

Oh wait no I won't.

[Giggles]

I'll remember you.

Oh wait no I won't.

None of the ballbags you're gnawing to try be someone are going to remember you either.

[Magic]

Do you want to freeze burn my skintags off?

[Kikó]

:cab: I know. I wear a tie everyday.

Yeah but you're a bit of a bellend.

[Baz]

https://i.gifer.com/OBxa.gif

[Kikó]

Exactly. Above the belt.

[Baz]

I guess that’s me off the informal fucking lager list.

[Kikó]

Absolutely, formal only with you.

[Disco]

Amazon adds loads of delivery restrictions if you add something to your basket direct from your wishlist but doesn't if you add them from the items main page.

Get your house in order Jeff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This fucking bakeoff weab

Her writing Pythagoras's theorem on each of her samosas this week :mad:

[igor_balis]

She's won me over a bit on the basis of being quite good at the actual baking recently. It's more eye-rolling than anger, now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She's won me over a bit on the basis of being quite good at the actual baking recently. It's more eye-rolling than anger, now.

She's annoying me more and more with every week.

Manon looks better every fucking week, the pinkish highlights my word :drool:

Vegan week will be a fucking travesty, fuck society for ruining this.

[niko_cee]

The one who got star baker yesterday really reminds me of the main character from Motherland (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6006350/).

[Lewis]

How would you go about implementing some sort of shot clock on buses? Say if you haven't got your money/pass out within two seconds of stepping aboard you have to get off and wait for the next one. It must build up through the day and throw everything out. Women seem to be the worst for it as well.

[Giggles]

Should be contactless machines only on them all.

[John]

Old women rummaging about in their little fabric trolleys trying to find their bus passes were the bane of my life when I was at uni. The only bus direct from my stop to uni went past three bingo halls so they'd be getting on in little groups and I don't remember one of them ever having their pass ready, or even just in a pocket.

[phonics]

The way the UK does bus ticketing is absolute madness. 1) Why are you charged based on where you're going instead of just buying '1 hour of travel' or something. 2) Put machines at the fucking bus stop.

[John]

The way the UK does bus ticketing is absolute madness. 1) Why are you charged based on where you're going instead of just buying '1 hour of travel' or something. 2) Put machines at the fucking bus stop.

'1 hour of travel' would be a million times worse. Imagine how mad you'd get at the cunts taking ages getting on then.

[Giggles]

Timed travel would be a shit show.

[Boydy]

Buses should be free.

[John]

They shouldn't, but they should probably be cheaper than they are now. I think I was about two fifty the last time I got on one. Bump road tax up a bit and use the difference to further subsidise them, then give anyone paying road tax a free bus pass.

[phonics]

'1 hour of travel' would be a million times worse. Imagine how mad you'd get at the cunts taking ages getting on then.

The rest of the world does this mental thing called multiple doors.

[Lewis]

Buses aren't expensive. How long would it take you to walk, and what is that time worth?

[Giggles]

They're still horrible places to be. Even if they were free it'll never beat being in your own company in a car.

[Queenslander]

In Brisbane 1 ticket buys you unlimited public transport transfers for 2 hours within the same zone.

[phonics]

Buses aren't expensive. How long would it take you to walk, and what is that time worth?

They were really expensive in Swansea. It was cost pretty much the same to take a cab.

[Lewis]

No it didn't.

[Baz]

I never get why groups of four or five people get the bus together. Surely it’s almost always cheaper to club together for a taxi.

[SincereTheRebel]

How would you go about implementing some sort of shot clock on buses? Say if you haven't got your money/pass out within two seconds of stepping aboard you have to get off and wait for the next one. It must build up through the day and throw everything out. Women seem to be the worst for it as well.

Remove the word buses and replace with ’paying for items at the checkout’ and that is my problem.

[phonics]

My problem with the checkout is old people and stay at home parents thinking the time to be shopping at the Co-op is 9am and lunchtime.

It's the only shop within walking distance that sells fresh food split between my office, a university, a secondary school and the UNHCR. And I'm stuck behind some old bint doing what looks to be a months worth of shopping.

[Kikó]

Should be contactless machines only on them all.

That's London. Everything is contactless and it's just faster and easier.

Our man Sadiq has got the 2 bus price for 1 for travel in an hour as well if you are changing buses. It's £1.50 a journey and you're not in the tube. Winning.

[Shindig]

They were really expensive in Swansea. It was cost pretty much the same to take a cab.

I'll echo Lewis on this one. Hell, I decided to compare a journey from Cockett to Swansea. 3 miles. £5.40 for an all day bus ticket. £35 is the cheapest taxi I could find which feels very steep.

[phonics]

Where the fuck is Cockett? I'm just talking Tesco to Mount Pleasant.

edit: Cockett appears to be above Townhill, I have absolutely no idea how you're getting above a tenner.

[Shindig]

Why would you even bother to use transport of any kind to go 100 yards?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

This has always bugged me, I'm just more used to expecting it in third world countries like Bulgaria then I remember our train stations.

Charging folk to use the loo.

[SincereTheRebel]

Public transport should be dirt cheap, if not completely free. Private transport should be much more expensive.

[Shindig]

My problem with the checkout is old people and stay at home parents thinking the time to be shopping at the Co-op is 9am and lunchtime.

Gives them time to drop the kids off at school and pensioner passes don't kick in until 9:30am. Although I've just done mine and almost all the tills are clogged with people doing a big shop. :moop:

EDIT: Public transport shouldn't be free. You'd get drivers and bikers moaning about how they have to pay a public transport tax they don't even use.

[Boydy]

Gives them time to drop the kids off at school and pensioner passes don't kick in until 9:30am. Although I've just done mine and almost all the tills are clogged with people doing a big shop. :moop:

EDIT: Public transport shouldn't be free. You'd get drivers and bikers moaning about how they have to pay a public transport tax they don't even use.
Fuck them. Ban private transport from cities as well.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Cities truly are awful places.

[Giggles]

Fuck them. Ban private transport from cities as well.

You fucking what?

[Boydy]

Ban cars from cities.

[Disco]

It seems a bit of a waste to have spent all this money on roads only to then not use them for anything.

[Magic]

Fuck them. Ban private transport from cities as well.

I actually agree, but can see how much of a nightmare for workers doing jobs there.

[Disco]

No need, we'd just all walk to our collectivised farms.

[Boydy]

I actually agree, but can see how much of a nightmare for workers doing jobs there.

You'd have to have some allowances for people whose jobs include travelling but for the average commuter who drives in to their office, parks in the city all day and then drives home again in the evening - ban them. Get the bus or train or tram or whatever there is in that city (and more investment would be needed in public transport as well, obviously).

There's a new bus/tram hybrid thing in Belfast and its introduction has involved a load of new bus lanes and the amount of complaining from motorists is ridiculous. You walk in any of the main arterial routes into the city in the morning and it's just queues of traffic with one person per car. It's such a fucking waste.

I'd settle for prohibitively high congestion charges too.

[Boydy]

It seems a bit of a waste to have spent all this money on roads only to then not use them for anything.

Yeah, it's hardly surprising that our infrastructure has been built around cars - we need to move away from that.

[Giggles]

Buses aren't fit for purpose like cars are.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

The problem with an excellent public transport system will still be the public.

Even Berlin, where it's excellent, still has some sweaty, BO-ridden mess on a carriage close to you.

[Magic]

You'd have to have some allowances for people whose jobs include travelling but for the average commuter who drives in to their office, parks in the city all day and then drives home again in the evening - ban them. Get the bus or train or tram or whatever there is in that city (and more investment would be needed in public transport as well, obviously).

There's a new bus/tram hybrid thing in Belfast and its introduction has involved a load of new bus lanes and the amount of complaining from motorists is ridiculous. You walk in any of the main arterial routes into the city in the morning and it's just queues of traffic with one person per car. It's such a fucking waste.

I'd settle for prohibitively high congestion charges too.

Yeah not those wankers but the ones that have to do small jobs in any city for like 4hrs etc. Really be punishing them. If you work at the same place every day you should be public transport unless you can prove it wouldn't be efficient.

[Shindig]

Also, how public is public transport? They're all owned by private companies.

[Boydy]

I've got a solution for that too.

[Lewis]

Every government intervention into or attempt at public transport since the end of the First World War has been a disaster.

[Boydy]

TfL seems to do pretty well.

[Giggles]

The hipster cunts that inhabit London lap up gowl like buses though so you could run any old shite and it'd be popular.

[mugbull]

The problem with an excellent public transport system will still be the public.

Even Berlin, where it's excellent, still has some sweaty, BO-ridden mess on a carriage close to you.

That’s life. Who cares if someone smells bad, air pollution smells pretty fuckin bad too

[Lewis]

It's better bits are contracted out, and yeah a monkey could run an underground when there are literally no alternatives. I always think that ending government subsidies for railways would do London a massive favour. These cunts you get moaning every time the price of a Brighton (or wherever) to London season ticket goes up wouldn't be able to do that commute, because we would no longer be subsidising their lifestyle, so economic activity would have to leave the capital.

[mugbull]

You mean it would do you a massive favor.

[Byron]

Every government intervention into or attempt at public transport since the end of the First World War has been a disaster.

Whereas privatising the rail system obviously works brilliantly.

[Lewis]

It does, relatively speaking. Although it is still (and always has been) massively over-regulated.

[Spikey M]

Whereas privatising the rail system obviously works brilliantly.

If it was properly privatised it wouldn’t be in its current state. It would probably cost 4 times the amount and barely be used, like in the US, mind.

[Lewis]

Their rail freight industry is the world leader, partly because of the obvious geographic factors, but also because of how they de-regulated it in the eighties and re-vitalised it; and their long distance passenger services are for all intents and purposes nationalised through Amtrak (real name the National Railroad Passenger Corporation) because half of the routes were going bust in the seventies.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My solicitor.

Money was sent to the solicitors of my disabled sister on Wednesday and it arrived in her trust account on Friday, however they've been waiting 2 weeks for my solicitor to say everything is ok. I have been sending him emails since Wednesday asking when he will get the money to send on to the rest of us, on Friday he finally replied saying it should be with me by Monday at the latest.

I sent him an email late on Monday asking why the money hasn't been received yet and this morning he says he forgot and that it is being dealt with right now. 10 minutes ago they requested that I phone up to confirm my bank details and when I do they tell me that the money wont be with me until tomorrow.

There's just so many half truths and so much chasing that I have to do, it's so fucking annoying.

[igor_balis]

So, there's this pub near me. It's alright, but a slightly up its own arse vibe. Best way to describe it would be to say that it's a 7/10 pub that the staff and clientele think is a 10/10 pub, they have a strict no football on the telly policy to keep out the riffraff (except when the Spurs fan owner stuck it on to watch the Chelsea Spurs game that confirmed Leicester as champions, so lol at him), and the urinals always have really embarrassing "rugby jokes" taken off twitter above them. I'm sure they're shit even if you like rugby union.

Make a big deal about their AMAZING ale selection, but it's actually pretty crap and the lines were always terribly kept so everything tasted like shite as well as being really overpriced.

ANYWAY, they're always doing lame event nights, like a Titanic Night (yeah, I dunno either) where you pay like £40 for a 5 course meal, formal dress, and errr, it's something to do with the Titanic? Fuck knows. And lots of tenuously themed beer festivals, like the "birds and the bees" spring beer festival, which involved the pub being painted in bees and stuff, then a special pub quiz around bees, you get the point. It's kind of lame but sort of cute and fine if you're into that kind of thing.

This time they've really excelled themselves, though. They've gone fucking BALLS DEEP into a fucking "remembrance festival". I struggle to put into words quite how bad it is, incredibly offensive and exploitative yet also really fucking lame at the same time. They've painted a bunch of massive fucking poppies outside, which is a bit iffy I think (exploitative etc), but I could forgive them for that. But everything else, jaysus. My mate was in there earlier and they've draped fucking ammo cartridges around the place and got cutesy pretend army uniforms around and that, which definitely crosses the line between solemn, respectful appreciation of those that gave their lives into full on poppy-porn. They've commissioned a local brewery to make a beer called "The Soldier" ffs, and the poster for the week's celebrations literally says "100 years, 100 beers". I don't even know what to say to that.

Obviously the fb page is full of likes and people saying "great way to pay respects". Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe it is a really good way to honour the fallen, but I'd take a lot of convincing. Also like to know how much money the RBL is getting for this absolute wank.

[John]

fuck, i do this, sometimes to the extent that i genuinely forget the point i was originally making

At least you're self aware.

[igor_balis]

At least you're self aware.

:D fuck you

[Giggles]

https://twitter.com/giantpoppywatch

[Disco]

Making money out of Remembrance Day is always a good start.

[Lewis]

I lolled at those poppy pizzas the other day. I'd be torn as to whether not buying it or buying it and eating it was more disrespectful and/or sickening.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Busy trying to cancel my plusnet broadband before it's even started as virgin have pretty much matched their prices.

60 mins on hold, then transferred to someone else, a 5 min wait I was told. Now sitting at 55 mins later and still waiting.

So there you have it, don't bother with plusnet. And that Peter Kay wannabe cunt that's in their adverts can get to fuck while I'm on a rant.

[Disco]

Sky did that when I wanted to cancel their broadband, I ended up just cancelling the direct debit and throwing their router in the bin.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Looking at their twitter support page it's commonplace for any call.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

2 hours 34 mins total wait time then the line gets disconnected. :D

Never had anything near this.

[Spikey M]

Notify them of your cancellation via email and cancel the direct debit. Provide a phone number so they can call you if that isn't sufficient.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And then send them some shit in a parcel.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I like that last one. Direct debit isn't even set up yet. I'll be due £80 off the bastards though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My solicitor.

Money was sent to the solicitors of my disabled sister on Wednesday and it arrived in her trust account on Friday, however they've been waiting 2 weeks for my solicitor to say everything is ok. I have been sending him emails since Wednesday asking when he will get the money to send on to the rest of us, on Friday he finally replied saying it should be with me by Monday at the latest.

I sent him an email late on Monday asking why the money hasn't been received yet and this morning he says he forgot and that it is being dealt with right now. 10 minutes ago they requested that I phone up to confirm my bank details and when I do they tell me that the money wont be with me until tomorrow.

There's just so many half truths and so much chasing that I have to do, it's so fucking annoying.

When I was on the phone they said it was being passed onto the finance team right now. I emailed them today and they said it was done today and that I might not have the money until tomorrow.

The bullshit continues \0/.

[mugbull]

The recent wildfires in Californi might be the worst so far, they’re about 200 miles north of where I am and the sky here has been Beijing tier the last few days. Serious Mad Max vibes. I’m lovin all these particulates

[Raoul Duke]

Good job climate change isn't real, otherwise these things would start becoming more frequent and severe.

[Giggles]

People being idiots and cunts is far more frequent anyway.

[Boydy]

Anyone ever use Virgin Media's customer service online chat? Why are they so slow to respond? Do they have these poor fuckers running about 20 chats at once or what?

[Kikó]

100%.

[Boydy]

I asked him how many people he was talking to at once but he didn't answer that. I gave up on it eventually as he was so slow. Rang them up instead. Thought I got the problem fixed. It is not fixed. The phone call was near an hour long too so I've basically wasted the entire afternoon with these cunts.

[Disco]

I'm with Virgin and mine has been spotty the last week or so, it'll shit the bed for a few hours at a time then go back to proper speed. There's no point reporting anything though as they just blame your hardware or flat out deny there's a problem.

[SvN]

My business line was down yesterday for about 2 hours. It's not ideal.

[Boydy]

It's not a problem with the actual broadband itself. I can't get registered with their My Virgin Media bollocks to see/pay my bills online.

[Giggles]

Virgin and only second to Vodafone in the horrendous customer service stakes.

[Kikó]

TAP are the pits. I've just been hounding them on social media until they respond. 3 months after I complained about a delayed flight, still nothing.

[Spikey M]

Virgin and only second to Vodafone in the horrendous customer service stakes.

Sky are far worse than Virgin. Vodafone do top the pops in the shit league though, and by some distance.

[igor_balis]

Hey, to offer a counterpoint I've just improved my virgin package (sky sports HD & sky cinema HD rather than SD sport and none of the films) with one of the lovely live text chat fellas for about £15/month less.

I mean, had I been an entirely new customer I'd have gotten it for even cheaper (for 12 months anyway), but it's my own fault for committing to a 12 months contract that was a bit shit in the first place.

[Shindig]

Having something booked to the point where you can't get your money back. And then having something else come up on the same day. :moop:

[phonics]

Found out the place I've been staying for a week has an Amazon Echo. What a fucking piece of shit. When it's not trying to sell me Amazon products it's telling me 'Mystikal - Danger' doesn't exist.

[Spikey M]

Watch yourself.

[phonics]

Just an absolute tune

[Pepe]

Played Cards Against Humanity yesterday. I had only read about it here. Fuck me that was dull.

[mugbull]

It's decent, but it's also meant for people half your age so i'm not sure how you got around to playing a game

[SvN]

I played it with 2 people Friday evening and I've never force-laughed as much in my entire life.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'I would like to have sex with... Cherie Blair's crusty anus'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO FUNNY, AAHHH, TEARS

[Spikey M]

Who do they replace the Madeleine McCann cards with over there?

[igor_balis]

It's pretty shit and lame, but especially if you're playing with a more mixed group. Terrible as an icebreaker I've found cus generally the senses of humour are less compatible. I also couldn't help but get really fucked off the time I played with a bunch of grebby retards, where every fucking time people voted for whoever had the most edgy/gross card, regardless of what they played it with, so it was an exercise in seeing who'd get lucky and grab all the dead baby cards. Cretins.

I did quite enjoy it though when I played with a bunch of close mates. Undeniably we're a bunch of unfunny wankers and you'd all hate us, but we generally had similar senses of humour, and it felt more like we were actually all judging on how well you used your cards in context rather than AHAHA JIMMY SAVILLE GREAT. Also helped being in an environment where people were comfortable to not laugh and say stuff was shit if it was.

[igor_balis]

You can play it online somewhere. I genuinely would be up for a game with some of you lot, it might be amusing for 5 minutes or so.

[John]

It's just manufactured fun for boring idiots.

[igor_balis]

It's just manufactured fun for boring idiots.

I agree 99%, and I wish the stuff was less edgy and lame, but there is an interesting enough parlour game buried in there somewhere. It was quite fun playing with other people trying to approach it with some semblance of...craft? I dunno. It's the kind of thing I hate too but if they'd made it more open-ended and hadn't filled it with all the predictable shock-value shite I think it could be an alright game. Though without the #NOTORIETY I doubt anyone would have bought it in the first place.

[John]

I found a far more interesting game in the back of a cupboard a few weeks ago, called Scruples.

You win by correctly predicting other people's answers to the posed questions, and I'm sure many friendships have been ended by it. A sample question is 'You are a journalist and your boss orders you to harass the family of a murder victim into an interview they've already refused. Do you do it?'

[igor_balis]

I found a far more interesting game in the back of a cupboard a few weeks ago, called Scruples.

You win by correctly predicting other people's answers to the posed questions, and I'm sure many friendships have been ended by it. A sample question is 'You are a journalist and your boss orders you to harass the family of a murder victim into an interview they've already refused. Do you do it?'

Hahahah. Yeah that does sound like C.A.H. but a lot less shit. I'll have a look on amazon.

[Yevrah]

Surely the answer to that is "if I was a journalist that had to agreed to work for a publication with an editor who would ask such a thing, then yes".

[Giggles]

Surely the answer to that is "if I was a journalist that had to agreed to work for a publication with an editor who would ask such a thing, then yes".

Yeah but then there's no game.

[Yevrah]

That's what I'm saying.

I don't think there is a game if the questions are like that.

[Yevrah]

He's another one:

You're a Mujahideen, your colleague has a video camera and some editing equipment, do you behead the industrial oil worker in an orange jumpsuit kneeling in front of you?

[Bam]

Yes

[Yevrah]

Well there we go then, there is no game.

[John]

He's another one:

You're a Mujahideen, your colleague has a video camera and some editing equipment, do you behead the industrial oil worker in an orange jumpsuit kneeling in front of you?

You're looking at this from an incredibly skewiff angle.

You are a man walking a short way behind a young woman at night. She is clearly nervous of you. Do you try to catch up and speak to her to put her mind at ease?

[Bam]

No

[igor_balis]

don't listen to the spoilsports John, come round mine and we can have a nice game of Scruples

[Disco]

Unless you play with crazy people there's still only one answer to any of these questions.

[Yevrah]

You're looking at this from an incredibly skewiff angle.

You are a man walking a short way behind a young woman at night. She is clearly nervous of you. Do you try to catch up and speak to her to put her mind at ease?

No, I'd probably drop back or cross the road to put her mind at ease.

I'm not seeing the dilemma in any of these questions.

[John]

don't listen to the spoilsports John, come round mine and we can have a nice game of Scruples

I wouldn't play it. It doesn't seem like a particularly fun thing to play, I just think it's a more interesting concept than CAH.

[igor_balis]

I wouldn't play it. It doesn't seem like a particularly fun thing to play, I just think it's a more interesting concept than CAH.

the bullies got to you. this is like when Paul Hopkins called me gay for going to chess club and i said i didn't like chess and never went again.

[Baz]

I hated cards against humanity so much I made a thread

https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?764-Cards-Against-Humanity&highlight=Humanity

[Shindig]

I feel like Jackbox has kinda murdered the Cards Against Humanity crowd. I'd rather write some vicious robot battle raps than play some madlibs.

[Spikey M]

He's another one:

You're a Mujahideen, your colleague has a video camera and some editing equipment, do you behead the industrial oil worker in an orange jumpsuit kneeling in front of you?

Leave Foe alone you cunt.