The little things in life that fuck you off

[Shindig]

I've no idea what molars are but I'm well past all that shit now, so happy days.

They be at the back of your mouth.


each of the four hindmost molars in humans which usually appear at about the age of twenty.

Three of mine are partially erupted. I'm not even sure if I have a fourth one.

[phonics]

boab, boabie, bawbie, baw bag, ball bag.

I think that's how it came to be. Scottish Twitter is terrible.

[Baz]

Number three was 'Small annoying creature' which can't be far away from the truth.
Leave his daughter out of it. :nono:

[Raoul Duke]

Woke up with my right eye feeling all gritty and the vision all blurry. Went pharmacist and the chick on the counter was like 'yeah that's infected'. Got doctor's appointment to confirm it later today. It would only be a minor annoyance, but the vision in my left eye is pretty much permanently fucked from detaching my retina, so I can't really see a whole lot right now.

That, without a shadow of a doubt, is the most hideous affliction the 'millennial' generation has spewed forth. It's like a magic shortcut to make yourself sound like a simpleton.

[Giggles]

That, without a shadow of a doubt, is the most hideous affliction the 'millennial' generation has spewed forth. It's like a magic shortcut to make yourself sound like a simpleton.

Going by the rest of the post I'd be pretty sure it's just a mistake.

[igor_balis]

That, without a shadow of a doubt, is the most hideous affliction the 'millennial' generation has spewed forth. It's like a magic shortcut to make yourself sound like a simpleton.
I thought i was gonna get sympathy for the conjunctivitis when I saw someone had quoted that post. Fair enough though. Probably.

[Magic]

Pretty sure I posted about an unknown beep in my house in this thread, but the search function is fucking useless so...

It's definitely coming from the neighbour's house, confirmed that last night by creeping outside their front door.

What is annoying is that I'm actually more tolerant of the beep than the painful conversation about said beep with a couple of deaf, senile old cunts. For now.

[Raoul Duke]

Pretty sure I posted about an unknown beep in my house in this thread, but the search function is fucking useless so...

It's definitely coming from the neighbour's house, confirmed that last night by creeping outside their front door.

What is annoying is that I'm actually more tolerant of the beep than the painful conversation about said beep with a couple of deaf, senile old cunts. For now.

Smoke alarm with a dying battery, probably. Set fire to their house and see if I'm right.

[Magic]

I'm sure those were the suggestions before. It's probably the backup battery and a mains alarm knowing my luck. I hope they're dead and not just deaf, that way I can totally avoid the conversation altogether.

[Boydy]

That, without a shadow of a doubt, is the most hideous affliction the 'millennial' generation has spewed forth. It's like a magic shortcut to make yourself sound like a simpleton.

That's just how northerners talk, isn't it?

I'm pretty sure it's not a millennial thing.

[Shindig]

Went t'pharmacist. :dc:

[Giggles]

Goes without saying but ugh, airports.

[Magic]

Goes without saying but ugh, airports.

Couldn't agree more.

[John Arne]

I like flying, and the whole theatre around it. I think it's because I'm pretty organised and travel fairly often, so it's enjoyable seeing everyone else really stressed and running around, whilst I'm carrying one newspaper and listening to my music, having checked in hours before what is actually necessary.

EDIT; although long stop-overs are annoying, especially in the middle-east when they are the a/c turned on way too low so it's freezing.

[phonics]

People with no clutch control. Some chinese lady almost backed up over me if I hadn't noticed and jumped up onto the boot. She dropped a good 6-7 yards.

[Giggles]

I like flying, and the whole theatre around it. I think it's because I'm pretty organised and travel fairly often, so it's enjoyable seeing everyone else really stressed and running around, whilst I'm carrying one newspaper and listening to my music, having checked in hours before what is actually necessary.

EDIT; although long stop-overs are annoying, especially in the middle-east when they are the a/c turned on way too low so it's freezing.

I love the flying bit, it's all the queueing. That's actually probably the biggest thing in life that fucks me off in any situation.

[phonics]

I was an absolute boss at flying, never got stressed or annoyed, then I had to go through South African immigration. Considering you're allowed to bring firearms through there I'm amazed no-one has shot up the place yet.

[John Arne]

I love the flying bit, it's all the queueing. That's actually probably the biggest thing in life that fucks me off in any situation.

Yeah, that's a fair point. I think that's why arrive so early (and check-in online) - to avoid the queueing at check-in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was an absolute boss at flying, never got stressed or annoyed, then I had to go through South African immigration. Considering you're allowed to bring firearms through there I'm amazed no-one has shot up the place yet.

Try the land border between South Africa and Swaziland next time you have a couple of months to spare.

[John Arne]

Conversely, the Cambodia-Vietnam border at Ha Tien was a complete waste of space.

https://gyazo.com/9e9a1ceb28ea335bb1f2ead435081162.png

"Give me $30"
"Ok, you go now"

[SvN]

Flying is crap unless there's free booze on the plane.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd like flying a lot more if I could actually sleep on a plane.

I've never managed more than 5 minutes.

[igor_balis]

Flying fucking terrifies me until i've had a few drinks then I quite enjoy it.

[Pepe]

Nothing better than sitting for hours on tight spaces.

Flying is shit, although the flying itself is probably the best bit. Airports though are just fucking annoying.

[leedsrevolution]

I'm always extremely chill in airports and flying but my better half can't stand it, so I can't fully relax and enjoy myself.

[phonics]

I don't understand people who are scared of flying. You're several thousand times more likely to die in a car that's an even more enclosed space.

[Lewis]

If you smash your car you might not die. If the plane goes down you're done.

[SvN]

Not always (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesna_Vulovi%C4%87)

[Kikó]

I think Lewis has nailed the fear. I know if it's done, it's done. And you're 37k up in the air so it's going to be a horrendous death.

I hate flying generally but longer haul I'm generally okay with (probably because I'm flying business innit Giggles) and coming back I'm better with (weird sense of security knowing I'm going home). I've flown at least 20 times in the last year and I still can't stomach any slight bump in the plane without abject fear.

[phonics]

I think Lewis has nailed the fear. I know if it's done, it's done. And you're 37k up in the air so it's going to be a horrendous death.

Nah, the rise/drop (I'm no scientist, I'm Yevrah) in pressure knocks you out before you hit the ground. Apparently.

One time, when I was 18 or so, we went through turbulence and the pretty lady 10 years my senior sitting next to me grabbed my hand. I was in and I beta-cucked it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mert would have slapped you.

[Giggles]

I think Lewis has nailed the fear. I know if it's done, it's done. And you're 37k up in the air so it's going to be a horrendous death.

I hate flying generally but longer haul I'm generally okay with (probably because I'm flying business innit Giggles) and coming back I'm better with (weird sense of security knowing I'm going home). I've flown at least 20 times in the last year and I still can't stomach any slight bump in the plane without abject fear.

The ones in bizniz get the same slap off the ground the rest do.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

So part of Dr Foster is filmed in the small town I live in.

Last year they came, did their shit in a few days and fucked off without a big fanfare.

This year though I'm guessing they're either being dicks and/or they're filming a lot more scenes here.

They only started filming today but they've had all parking suspended in and around the town square suspended for over a week now whilst setting shit up. Today they've had loads of dickheads knocking about and have been stopping traffic. Had to wait 10 minutes earlier in the town square as they weren't letting any cars near cameras. The sound guys are going to have to cut a lot of car horns out as people were pissed.

Was also walking around the town earlier and was told to not stop and stare at the camera up ahead. Didn't have a problem with that as this face of mine really shouldn't be anywhere near television.

[bruhnaldo]

Not nearly the same but they filmed some of the second Fast and Furious movie in Miami..

They did a casting call for people with nice souped up cars to be in the film. Had them sign wavers and all of that.

People told me they fucked up a bunch of people's cars and the idiots were so excited just to be in the movie they basically signed away any liability from the studio beforehand lmao

Could you fucking imagine? Spending thousands on souping up a fucking RX7 and they blow it up for effect lmao.

[John]

They filmed some of the sixth one of those in Glasgow, which lead to loads of noise complaints because it was largely stunt stuff and they had that little pound shop Formula One car ripping round town at two in the morning.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Doesn't help that dickheads are desperate for a glance of Suranne Jones as well as the potential of being caught on camera.

Oh look Frank, there's me in the background scratching my arse. I'm famous.

[Giggles]

I'd drag my balls through a council estate skip to be in the same postcode as Suranne Jones.

[Magic]

Places with no WiFi. Especially in places with no 4G. Fuck.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd drag my balls through a council estate skip to be in the same postcode as Suranne Jones.

She did look pretty damn good today as well, I did manage to catch a few glimpses of her.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3800346/Suranne-Jones-gets-parking-ticket-Doctor-Foster-set.html

I also thought that parking attendant was part of filming which is why I decided not to ask her the nearest place I could park.

[Gray Fox]

Ordered some football stuff to play tomorrow as there wasn't much in stock when I went in store. Paid for next day delivery in the hope it'd be here for when I get back from work. Order still shows as processing despite ordering hours ago.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So part of Dr Foster is filmed in the small town I live in.

Last year they came, did their shit in a few days and fucked off without a big fanfare.

This year though I'm guessing they're either being dicks and/or they're filming a lot more scenes here.

They only started filming today but they've had all parking suspended in and around the town square suspended for over a week now whilst setting shit up. Today they've had loads of dickheads knocking about and have been stopping traffic. Had to wait 10 minutes earlier in the town square as they weren't letting any cars near cameras. The sound guys are going to have to cut a lot of car horns out as people were pissed.

Was also walking around the town earlier and was told to not stop and stare at the camera up ahead. Didn't have a problem with that as this face of mine really shouldn't be anywhere near television.

What fucks me off is British people using this to mean anything except drunk. You want 'pissed off'.

[Spoonsky]

Fake eyelashes. Do they ever look good?

[Pepe]

The ones that do, you wouldn't know they're fake.

[Shindig]

I'm more bothered about pencil brows.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Disco]

Fake eyelashes. Do they ever look good?

I'm sure you don't need them, own your own lashes man.

[Mike]

I had a hard drive fail last week, I had a spare so replaced it and after some fiddling got most stuff off it. Yesterday my other hard drive started to die too. Ordered another.

[Luca]

I'm currently doing a commodity forecasting assignment for a class where neither commodities nor forecasting methods are described in any great detail, and as luck would have it, I'm the only group member with any clue in either of those subjects.

[Kikó]

What does a commodity forecasting assignment entail?

[Ian]

Been invited to the evening do of a work colleague's wedding tomorrow. I can't really be arsed with it anyway but I've just worked out that because they're getting married in the middle of fucking nowhere it's going to take me the better part of two hours to get home.

[Magic]

What you've just said.

Cumbernauld. :sick:

2017 tho.

[GS]

An hour is the maximum drive you can justify for an evening do.

[Giggles]

Don't go then. Simple.

Evening invites are basically an insult anyway. Almost a thing of the past.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've got to find a way out of my cousin's (a cousin I never see/don't care about) wedding in Warsaw. I'd rather stove my own head in than pay £300+ to go and eat dreadful Polish food for four days while two idiots get married.

[Giggles]

I've got to find a way out of my cousin's (a cousin I never see/don't care about) wedding in Warsaw. I'd rather stove my own head in than pay £300+ to go and eat dreadful Polish food for four days while two idiots get married.

RSVP: Can't attend.

[Magic]

That's an easy one. Abroad weddings can be gotten out of through cost alone.

[Kikó]

Just go Jim. Maybe you can find a new job out there.

[Spikey M]

Isn't 'Polish food' pretty much just gherkins?

[Raoul Duke]

+ purple soup

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And potatoes with cabbage and fried pork chops.

Tbf though Polish food has come a long way in the last 5 years or so. They've finally had a new wave spread through them.

I actually had rabbit and ossobucco (the ossobucco was crap though, it was drowned in a sweet tomato sauce with carrots and peppers) at the hotel I was at last time.

Pierogi is also good value, especially if you ask for it fried (fuck boiled), with the best filling being spinach.

They're also starting to do goose around the place which is great and they've got some nice lake fish but stay away from carp.

[Spikey M]

Oh yeah, I forgot about them nicking all the Queens swans

[Giggles]

And potatoes with cabbage and fried pork chops.

Tbf though Polish food has come a long way in the last 5 years or so. They've finally had a new wave spread through them.

I actually had rabbit and ossobucco (the ossobucco was crap though, it was drowned in a sweet tomato sauce with carrots and peppers) at the hotel I was at last time.

Pierogi is also good value, especially if you ask for it fried (fuck boiled), with the best filling being spinach.

They're also starting to do goose around the place which is great and they've got some nice lake fish but stay away from carp.

Pierogi will always be boiled and just finished off on a pan for a bit of colour.

Though next time I'm in Poland I'll happily live on those Hot Dogi things you get in all the petrol stations.

[Pen]

I've got to find a way out of my cousin's (a cousin I never see/don't care about) wedding in Warsaw. I'd rather stove my own head in than pay £300+ to go and eat dreadful Polish food for four days while two idiots get married.

The restaurant scene in Krakow was great. Everything is relatively cheap there too so you'll eat like a king for very little.

[Giggles]

The restaurant scene in Krakow was great. Everything is relatively cheap there too so you'll eat like a king for very little.

There's an American type one down past the Jewish quarter that is brilliant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pierogi will always be boiled and just finished off on a pan for a bit of colour.

Though next time I'm in Poland I'll happily live on those Hot Dogi things you get in all the petrol stations.

Well yeah but if you ask for fried that colour will come (as well as the added texture) plus some fried onions and bacon.

[John]

Just found out someone I've known my whole life hanged himself in prison overnight. He'd been in and out of prison on daft six month sentences pretty much his entire adult life, but this last one was fifteen years and seemingly he couldn't handle it.

Fuck.

[bruhnaldo]

That's awful John, sorry to hear.

[Spammer]

Bloke from my school hung himself a few years back when he was drunk. I didn't spend much time with him since school but he was always a nice bloke and it shook me up a fair bit.

[SvN]

What did he get 15 years for?

[John]

Serious assault and GBH. His girlfriend's ex hit her so he hit him, his head bounced off the ground and he was in a coma for a few days.

[Giggles]

Serious assault and GBH. His girlfriend's ex hit her so he hit him, his head bounced off the ground and he was in a coma for a few days.

Should get a medal for something like that not 15 fucking years.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Disco]

Should get a medal for something like that not 15 fucking years.

No he shouldn't, it's a perfect example of why vigilantism is crap.

[bruhnaldo]

Lol what

A man hits a woman and you'd do nothing?

For shame.

[Disco]

How about some basic comprehension before jumping to your own conclusion.

[Giggles]

No he shouldn't, it's a perfect example of why vigilantism is crap.

That's nice. I think he should have got a medal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Amazon delivery driver decided to leave a package in the middle of my driveway (had to get out to move it so my car could be parked) during a storm.

Wanker.

[Gray Fox]

Tell them you didn't get it. No one has signed for it so they have no proof.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tell them you didn't get it. No one has signed for it so they have no proof.

I'm asking them for a replacement because two items have suffered a bit of water damage.

'Avinash' has sorted it like a hero.

[Dquincy]

Probably was food.

[Shindig]

Lol what

A man hits a woman and you'd do nothing?

For shame.

Erm, he's a witness at that point. Send the bugger down legally.

[Magic]

Weddings where you don't know any cunt

[Giggles]

Weddings

Fixed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

People in gambling adverts having loads of black mates, but never any Asian.

[Disco]

They're all somewhere else fixing the results.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

9 until 7 I'm at uni on Tuesdays now. Fucking shambles.

[Disco]

Preparing you for life in the real world.

[Spammer]

I'm doing those same hours at work each Tuesday. Same on Mondays. Then I'm out 9-8 on Wednesdays and Thursdays, standard 9-5 on Fridays and 9-4 on Saturdays.

Get on with it.

[Giggles]

I have absolutely no idea what time I'll finish work each day.

[Spammer]

Really? What do you do?

One good thing about everything I'm doing is that there's basically 0% chance of going over by more than 10-15 minutes, and we get any overtime back anyway.

[Giggles]

Really? What do you do?

One good thing about everything I'm doing is that there's basically 0% chance of going over by more than 10-15 minutes, and we get any overtime back anyway.

I drive a van for parcel force.

Package relocation engineer.


.

[Spikey M]

I now work 4 days a week. 7 - 5 with a half haur lunch twice and slightly better hours on the other 2 days. Still 37 hours a week. Either that or pay for child care. Fuck that.

[Raoul Duke]

Are you still doing the betting stuff Spikey?

[Baz]

I drive a van for parcel force.

Package relocation engineer.


.Do you get paid per delivery, or is it a set rate?

My mates just started a driving job - tried to get him to get me on but he didn't take it seriously, so I've dropped it.

[Spikey M]

Are you still doing the betting stuff Spikey?

Huh? Never been much of a gambler. Blindly followed Taz in backing a few horses once but that's about it.

[Giggles]

Do you get paid per delivery, or is it a set rate?

My mates just started a driving job - tried to get him to get me on but he didn't take it seriously, so I've dropped it.

Salary, no overtime.

[Raoul Duke]

Huh? Never been much of a gambler. Blindly followed Taz in backing a few horses once but that's about it.

Wait - I'm mixing you up with Sandman.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm doing those same hours at work each Tuesday. Same on Mondays. Then I'm out 9-8 on Wednesdays and Thursdays, standard 9-5 on Fridays and 9-4 on Saturdays.

Get on with it.
I had to learn shit though as well as read like 20 pages the night before of pre-lecture reading then read 25 pages during my breaks for a seminar. It was awful :(

Yes I could have read those pages days ago and spread it out but no.

[mugbull]

Oh nooo i'm so sorry for you Mahow that's a real tragedy

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh nooo i'm so sorry for you Mahow that's a real tragedy
It is.

The 25 page was written by an economic historian.

[Spoonsky]

In my high school history class we had 20-30 page readings every other night. Not that I necessarily did all of them, but surely that's standard for a class at university?

[7om]

This is what you get with your poncey reading degrees.

I used to set off experiments at 5pm, went off to play poker all night and came back the next morning to collect my results.

Science :drool:

[Spikey M]

It aint Science unless you're twisting a pen over a Bunsen burner.

[mugbull]

You'd think if you're actually doing history at a university you'd do 80-100 pages of fairly tough reading every night. It's not like you have physics problem sets to deal with in addition.

[Spammer]

At my university I played FIFA and chilled out with mates and then twice a term just waited until the night before, read the blurbs of a few relevant books and the abstracts of a few journal articles and then spiffled off in general terms until I'd rattled off enough words.

I remember quite early on I did that with one module, and ended up getting really passionate about another and read loads throughout the term....and I ended up doing better on the essay I cobbled together the night before. The essay I couldn't even remember by the time I got my grade back. At that point I figured it was all just a load of rubbish and I'd do best to read things I'm interested in and cynically play the system.

Making up references is a good shout too, or making up arguments that those references make. If they say a certain argument at some point in a book then you can use it, and if you reference a 600 page book then they probably do so at some point, so you don't even have to read it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I did politics (which is like history for cunts) and I was meant to do hundreds of pages heavy reading, but did nothing of the sort. Unless you're going on to a career in academia and thus give a shit what feminists think of the Indian caste system, you can and should just blag it.

References can be gleaned by looking in the index and just quoting those page numbers. The one thing you can rely on as an undergrad is that no matter how little you care about your work, the person marking it will care less.

[mugbull]

Sure, but not doing the reading kind of defeats the purpose of a university education.

[Spikey M]

As long as you get the scroll of paper at the end nobody gives a fuck. Saying that, Degrees themselves are a pound a penny these days.

[Spammer]

Exactly.

I actually studied the reasons people came to uni as part of my dissertation. The long and short of it is that the vast majority of people don't give a fuck about the stuff they are studying, or at least they did up until they came to university to study it. Some do, but most don't.

It's useful because it's a piece of paper. Anything you actually learn is a bonus, but getting a degree and actually learning things is not synonymous by any stretch of the imagination. I've known people who have achieved firsts who actually learned fuck all of what they studied, and anything they did learn they forgot within weeks of finishing because they only saw it as relevant in the context of getting the degree.

[mugbull]

As long as you get the scroll of paper at the end nobody gives a fuck. Saying that, Degrees themselves are a pound a penny these days.

I mean that's bullshit too. If you discover what you love and talk to and meet professors who are teaching that stuff, and work with them, you'll know the general direction you want to go in and have people that can help you get there. I feel like this whole "degrees are pointless, university is pointless" talk comes from the people who spent their time not doing the reading and not making active efforts to try new things.

[Spikey M]

Shut up you tart.

[Spammer]

I mean that's bullshit too. If you discover what you love and talk to and meet professors who are teaching that stuff, and work with them, you'll know the general direction you want to go in and have people that can help you get there. I feel like this whole "degrees are pointless, university is pointless" talk comes from the people who spent their time not doing the reading and not making active efforts to try new things.

I agree with that too. It's largely what you make of it. Aside from my cynical point of view towards the essays themselves, I read voraciously on all kinds of subjects and feel I took a lot from the whole experience.

Most people don't give a fuck about what they're learning though. Not on a personal level, outside of getting the piece of paper. It's a shame, but it's a fact.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I generally like what I'm learning. But reading a 25 page article by an economic historian is pretty bollocks.

It actually started well but after the first 6 pages or so it was an incredibly hard read. Even the lecturer said it was bollocks but he had to include it.

Best article I've read so far has been about maps during the scramble for Africa.

[SvN]

I don't think I remember more than 1 or 2 tidbits from my degree (Computer Systems Engineering). What a waste of time that was. Loved every minute of it, though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can also skim read things to get the gist of the argument without necessarily boring your way through all the tangents and badly-written (most academics are terrible writers) sub arguments.

[Spammer]

Yeah that's the thing for me - most of them are fucking shit at getting their point across.

[Lewis]

If it feels like that then they probably don't have any points (or not enough to justify the publication).

[Spammer]

I did a social science so I found that was often the case. I couldn't help but read most Philosophy and Sociology journal articles genuinely wondering how they were getting away with it.

[Boydy]

They're pretty much forced to churn out articles though.

[Lewis]

Not all articles are shit, but the research assessments that the universities use incentivise the production of worthless journal articles at the expense of proper research projects (books, essay collections, whatever) because all 'output' is treated equally, and it is better to create x amount of articles over five years, and hope that enough of them are worth a wank to be put forward for assessment, than it is to devote that time to a book project that might not work out as planned. Historians (I don't know about other subjects, but I once read that the overwhelming majority of social sciences articles are never cited in any subsequent research) moan like shit about it, but I reckon it suits as many people as it annoys, because the fact is that quite a lot of them aren't good enough to complete more substantial research projects.

There is also the 'impact' bullshit, which means the relevance of the work beyond the academy, but it's hard to get into that without sounding like a bitter cunt whose excellent research proposals (if I do say so myself) kept being overlooked in favour of bollocks social history about immigrants and trannies.

[Sam]

Should have done accountancy, bunch of bullshit exams followed by 3/4s of my three years of studying doing the square root of fuck all.

[7om]

Of course chemists are not like this because we're not cunts, but I've noticed the standard of biology related papers being released is absolutely woeful. Data that doesn't even make sense, detailed article titles that then deliver absolutely fuck all, and some that are just waffle and filler.

I was told very early on by a professor that biologists were wankers and it seems to be broadly true.

[Giggles]

I started at 7 this morning to get a head start on the day and now it turns out that I won't be home til 7 tonight. Monday to Friday my arse.

[Baz]

On the flip side the person I'm working with needs to be back to her car (my house) by 4:30 at the latest, so I can have an early tea and go play Pro Evo at mikes nice and early, rather than getting there close to 7 like normal.

[Adamski]

I started at 7 this morning to get a head start on the day and now it turns out that I won't be home til 7 tonight. Monday to Friday my arse.

It's Wednesday, bro.

[Giggles]

It's Wednesday, bro.

Monday to Friday is supposed to be 9-5. I left shift to work 9-5 as 12 hour days are only worth it when you do three and a half of them a week.

So again, if you're going to be a smartarse; keep up.

[Adamski]

So you forgot to omit the 9-5?

Apology accepted, let's move on.

[Giggles]

So you forgot to omit the 9-5?

Apology accepted, let's move on.

Well I started early at 7 and am finishing late at 7. Top work Sherlock.

[Sam]

9:30 to 5:30 with an hour lunch. Own clothes on Friday with beer cart. Music on always. TV with sports and likely to be getting a ps4 added for some lunch time FIFA.

You've done it wrong.

[Boydy]

9:30 to 5:30 with an hour lunch. Own clothes on Friday with beer cart. Music on always. TV with sports and likely to be getting a ps4 added for some lunch time FIFA.

You've done it wrong.

What are you doing now?

[Adamski]

Well I started early at 7 and am finishing late at 7. Top work Sherlock.

It's still Monday to Friday regardless. You've fucked it mate. Chill

[Giggles]

9:30 to 5:30 with an hour lunch. Own clothes on Friday with beer cart. Music on always. TV with sports and likely to be getting a ps4 added for some lunch time FIFA.

You've done it wrong.

In fairness I get to wear clothes every day.

[igor_balis]

I did politics as well, and totally blagged my 2.1. I remember going to a 3rd year exam and joining my mate who was sat with some other people doing some last minute revision. They were all going through the 10 or 20 relevant politicians they'd revised on, and how they all linked to whatever policy area it was (each week's lecture was a policy area), and when my mate asked me who I'd revised I honestly said that I hadn't, and that I was just gonna blag it using maybe a couple of important prime ministers. He was genuinely terrified on my behalf. Obviously got a solid 60-something.

Another really easy way to blag EVERY single exam was to remember the universal format - 2 hours, pick 2 questions from 12 or so. Each question corresponded to a week's lecture, so obviously I only ever revised on two of the lectures, occasionally 3 if I was worried one of the ones I'd revised for would be a stinker.

[Pepe]

I do engineering, so I don't get any reading assignments, but I do know that professors totally take the piss when a assigning readings. Main issue is that most assignments, in any field, are not thought out at all. They just assign whatever shit comes to mind without any regard to what the student is supposed to get out of it. Professors are just shit at teaching but they have no incentive to improve.

[Giggles]

I do engineering

That should really be the tagline under the forum banner.

[Boydy]

He actually does engineering though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah, he "does" engineering.

[Kikó]

Can he build a wall?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can he build a wall?

Trump has personally employed him.

[Giggles]

He actually does engineering though.

We all actually do engineering. It's part of the sign up.

[Giggles]

Can he build a wall?

So long as he can climb one.

[Sam]

What are you doing now?

Much to GS's dismay, accountancy, however a firm that specializes in music and entertainment.

[Pepe]

We need a better engineers/accountants ratio in order to save the board. Spoonsky, it is your duty.

[Magic]

We need more unemployed people too. Do none of you work for the Jobcentre?

[Magic]

Also my phone's swype keyboard always thinks I am swyping 'Bebside' instead of 'Because'. Fucking stupid piece of shit.

[Giggles]

Also my phone's swype keyboard always thinks I am swyping 'Bebside' instead of 'Because'. Fucking stupid piece of shit.

Use Swiftkey or Chrooma.

[Sam]

Sky moving good away days to Thursday nights.

Fucking loathe Sky with a passion.

[Adamski]

Would Wolves have survived that double relegation without it?

[Lewis]

All match-going fans (proper ones, at least) secretly wish to see their club in the conference. FACT.

[Magic]

I thought I was pretty tolerant but the wife has an older bird round to get her eyelashes done and she's brought her son who is beyond a mincer. He's come to get his eyebrows done which is awkward because it's like a bloke is round so get the footie on but no straight upstairs. Just really bizarre and I'm uncomfortable now. I was going to do my warming up in the dining room as usual but think I'll just do it in the garage now...probably with the door locked.

[Magic]

Sorry can I also just say I have two good gay friends who are ex-colleagues.

It's just those utter mincy poofters I can't stand. Is there any need. For fuck's sake.

[Magic]

Honestly I feel like fucking Alf Garnett thumping about downstairs like a repressed Grizzly alpha. I haven't caused this. Maybe I did a wee bit by coming through to say hi then turning around in disgust.

[Disco]

Just get it over with and give him a kiss.

[Magic]

FYI I'm in the garage.

[Disco]

Scared into the garage. :D

What if he starts chasing you?

[Foe]

FYI I'm in the garage.

He decided he wanted a bit of privacy with you then? He can't be that flamboyant.

[Magic]

I'm doing real manly shit. Squatting hard with leather gloves on. The modern equivalent to chopping wood.

[Adamski]

Are you sitting in the car with the exhaust pipe through the window?

[Disco]

I'm doing real manly shit. Squatting hard with leather gloves on. The modern equivalent to chopping wood.

Good work, I've heard wearing leather and getting sweaty helps keep the gay at bay.

[igor_balis]

mj sent me a couple of photos from the garage, he's looking really hard and manly

[Shindig]

Here's an unpopular opinion: Fuck cancer.

[Giggles]

Here's an unpopular opinion: Fuck cancer.

https://media.giphy.com/media/4pMX5rJ4PYAEM/giphy.gif

[Shindig]

I needed to vent. Carry on.

[niko_cee]

Fuck it right in the ear.

[Lewis]

Isn't that how Michael Douglas got it?

[Adamski]

Why is that an unpopular opinion? :cab:

[Spikey M]

Fuck Sarcasm.

[Adamski]

I did think that, but discounted due to the very odd use.

[Disco]

Fuck-Cancer is a good name for aids if you think about it. There you go phonics you can have that one for free.

[phonics]

I'll bring it up at the next UN General Assembly, thanks.

[John]

I did think that, but discounted due to the very odd use.

You could have discounted sincerity on the same basis.

[igor_balis]

People say it is difficult to recognise sarcasm when it is written down, but 99% of the time it is just people being dense as fuck, like Adamski just there. No offence, like.

[Adamski]

You could have discounted sincerity on the same basis.

Not really, he's prone to some odd outbursts that you'd think were sarcastic but aren't. See 99% of the jobs thread.

[Boydy]

None of his posts in the jobs thread could be misconstrued as sarcasm because they're all so fucking boring.

[Sam]

All match-going fans (proper ones, at least) secretly wish to see their club in the conference. FACT.

To be fair, League One was my favourite season, cheap away days, 3pm kick off. Great.

[Lewis]

I would like to fully embrace my rugby team going down, but I think at least four of the 'aways' will be in Sharia no-go areas, so forget boozing there.

[Boydy]

You don't 'booze' anyway, do you?

Or have you started now since that time you let your friends get you drunk? And unemployment's getting to you.

[Lewis]

I would start if I thought it might annoy some Muslims.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got into a cab on the way home tonight (with a couple of m8s) and the driver, quite unprompted, went off on one.

'I've got a clean taxi, you see, because I'm a white English man and I clean my car. I've always had clean cars. Not like those fucking Pakis. Don't like them. They should make sure all the taxi drivers are English, knaaaamean? I'm fed up with all those Paki cab drivers. I voted for that Brexit, right, and it's about time they chucked them all out, starting with the Paki Muslims. England is for white English people, right? I mean, come on, knaaaaamean.'

You have to hand it to him, really. It was like being on the set of Love Thy Neighbour.

[Shindig]

Admittedly, the only time I've felt threatened was in an Asian's taxi. Only time I've ever been demanded to have the money up front and the only time I've left a cab ride early because I've hit the limit of what cash I have on me. Oh, there's that time an Asian refused to serve me because he was waiting at the rank 'open for business' because "NO TIME! NOT FOR JEWS!"

I mean, you've kinda pulled the lottery by getting a white guy on the rank. He's probably bitter he's on that shift to begin with.

[Boydy]

Sunday night. Not tired. Dreading going to shitty work tomorrow. So fucking bored of the place. So fucking bored of here in general too. I need to move. It's a pain in the arse trying to find a job before moving and moving without one seems too risky, even though I could probably get by for a couple of months without one. Although I wouldn't really want to have to.

Ugh. I'm just fed up with everything at the minute.

[Raoul Duke]

Become an Uber driver

[John Arne]

Sunday night. Not tired. Dreading going to shitty work tomorrow. So fucking bored of the place. So fucking bored of here in general too. I need to move. It's a pain in the arse trying to find a job before moving and moving without one seems too risky, even though I could probably get by for a couple of months without one. Although I wouldn't really want to have to.

Ugh. I'm just fed up with everything at the minute.

Pack up and leave. You can stay in my spare room for a few months.

[Giggles]

Couldn't you return if it all goes tits up? Take a leap.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I accidentally swallowed a strepsil.

I was laying down and coughed :\

[Jimmy Floyd]

My true love's on the Steppe, still

She holds my dreams aloft.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Was meant to get a payout from life insurance by last Wednesday at the latest. Asked what was happening today and apparently the decision has been contested.

Ugh.

Got an email today from solicitor today.

Apparently it would be highly unlikely that I get less than I was originally set to be given. From what is being said in the rest of the email my Dad's last wife is contesting the decision to give her own daughter a cut of the insurance. If true that's so fucking lol, especially if it results in her share being split between the rest of us.

Taking money out of your own daughter's pocket (and she still lives with her as she moved back in after my Dad died), amazing.

I was sure (as well as most others in my family) that she was trying to cut me out.

[Adamski]

I would dearly love to take a hammer to that body coach cunt.

[wullie]

Give his book a try first, you may be won round by all the naughty recipes to bang out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pharmacists.

I told them to bin one of my prescription items that they had bagged up for me months ago as I'm on a higher strength.

Today, as I'm still sick and I don't have my anti-depressants my Mum went to go and get them for me. She's come back with the old prescription which I told the pharmacy to get rid off and they were arguing saying that the anti-depressants were done 2 weeks ago (which I never picked up) so I couldn't get anymore of them anyway.

In general, fuck them all for taking so long to do shit and still fucking everything up.

[Boydy]

Eye tests are far too intimate.

It doesn't help when the optician is really hot as well.

And then you realise later from her name that she's the younger sister of someone you went to school with.

[John]

How long have you spent on her Facebook?

[Boydy]

:D

Not that long.

[Shindig]

Traveling backwards.

[Disco]

I had an extraordinarily hot Greek (who knew they existed) optician once who wouldn't let me put my own contact lenses in but insisted on doing it herself.

[leedsrevolution]

Got an email today from solicitor today.

Apparently it would be highly unlikely that I get less than I was originally set to be given. From what is being said in the rest of the email my Dad's last wife is contesting the decision to give her own daughter a cut of the insurance. If true that's so fucking lol, especially if it results in her share being split between the rest of us.

Taking money out of your own daughter's pocket (and she still lives with her as she moved back in after my Dad died), amazing.

I was sure (as well as most others in my family) that she was trying to cut me out.

You will just piss it up the wall on camwhore credits / gambling / FIFA packs. So maybe for the best.

Just make sure you get a house before doing that.

[Boydy]

I had an extraordinarily hot Greek (who knew they existed) optician once who wouldn't let me put my own contact lenses in but insisted on doing it herself.

You what?

The Greeks are a sexy, sexy people. Well, the women.

[Disco]

Swarthy is the word that comes to mind.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You will just piss it up the wall on camwhore credits / gambling / FIFA packs. So maybe for the best.

Just make sure you get a house before doing that.
I'll be going to LA in April (plan was to go in December but the delays have shit that up) with a few days in Vegas so gambling is a possibility. As are FIFA packs actually.

Most of it will go on Uni fees this year if I can't get finance due to compelling reasons, with the rest going into a high interest rate bank account.

Done with the cam whores though :cool:

[leedsrevolution]

I'll be going to LA in April (plan was to go in December but the delays have shit that up) with a few days in Vegas so gambling is a possibility. As are FIFA packs actually.

Most of it will go on Uni fees this year if I can't get finance due to compelling reasons, with the rest going into a high interest rate bank account.

Done with the cam whores though :cool:

You should buy a Thai bride.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You should buy a Thai bride.
I'd rather not have a bride with a bigger cock than me.

[Spikey M]

Considering the reputation Asians have for micro-cocks it's nice of Mahow to out himself as a member of the baby penis club.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We've got to stick together, Spikey.

[Shindig]

She-males have such shit erections, Mahow.

[Disco]

Even in context that's an odd post.

[igor_balis]

Fucking state of the lame targeted merch I'm getting on facebook.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/14470625_611580619013829_8502074514402483722_n.jpg ?oh=9d4728934505245d60ba15ea864ea761&oe=586A6D64

Ah it is the Jack Daniel's design but with that funny drink off Hitchhiker's Guide instead! If any cunt actually buys any of that valueless wank, they should be forced to watch the shit 2005 remake on loop for the rest of their life.

[igor_balis]

I also really hate those t-shirts which are just the surnames of band lineups.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I liked the film :uhoh:

[Shindig]

I've fallen foul of this Unilever squabble. Turns out they supply Tesco with their shitty economy quiches I buy as well as I Can't Believe it's Not Butter.

I'm stuck here with posher quiches for thrice the price and a tub of Flora. The true price of Brexit.

[igor_balis]

I liked the film :uhoh:

go to the naughty step. in fairness it wasn't unwatchably awful, just totally pointless. did nothing better than the tv series.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tbf to me, I have never watched the TV show and I hadn't read the book (I've since changed that, I imagine if I watched the film now I'd think it's shit).

[igor_balis]

Watch the tv show, it's quality!

[Giggles]

A gargle blaster sounds like someone that lives 4 the sesh.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Kikó]

She-males have such shit erections, Mahow.

Pray tell more?

[Shindig]

I expected lesbian porn. Then I saw a penis. A penis that says, "I've been on the therapy and this is just for show. I can't even cum."

[igor_balis]

It's true, cus of the HRT.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cleaned the table because I've finally snapped out of my illness haze and found a £10 note, a thermometer and some cold & flu tablets which were swimming in cough syrup.

[Lewis]

Some cunt managed to bounce his lorry across the central reservation on the M1, closing two lanes on each side and adding almost two hours to my journey. How do you even manage that?

[Spoonsky]

I've bought a 2010 Macbook on Amazon, and after using it for two hours it's begun to make the most annoying grinding noise. Think the fan is borked.

:moop:

[Pepe]

That's what you get for going hipster wanker on us.

[Spoonsky]

I thought I went hipster wanker years ago.

Regardless, at this point every undergraduate in the country probably owns a Macbook.

[Pepe]

True, although not so much in engineering as there is some software that is still not Mac compatible.

No one in my lab owns an Apple computer. Probably in the whole department.

[leedsrevolution]

Fucking state of the lame targeted merch I'm getting on facebook.

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/14470625_611580619013829_8502074514402483722_n.jpg ?oh=9d4728934505245d60ba15ea864ea761&oe=586A6D64

Ah it is the Jack Daniel's design but with that funny drink off Hitchhiker's Guide instead! If any cunt actually buys any of that valueless wank, they should be forced to watch the shit 2005 remake on loop for the rest of their life.

"It's a [surname here] thing, you wouldn't understand"

Nothing tops that for God awfulness.

[wullie]

Exceptions to every rule

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bf5TSV0IYAAn9cx.jpg

[Magic]

My heating isn't working (again). The pilot light is a dim, orange flame rather than a fiery blue one. The hot water works ok but as soon as the heating goes on (and off) it goes out, and takes a fucking age to re-light. This happened over a period of a few months last time but it was that savage getting it back on I daren't put the heating on in case we lose hot water too. Subsequently it's fucking freezing and the plumber can't make it until next week (at least) obviously. :)

I'm annoyed because he serviced it in April and now it's dirty again? Last time he did it it was clean for the whole year.

[Pepe]

Is any of your mates an engineer? Any engineer should be able to fix that easily.

[Magic]

All he did was take the facias off the fire and hoover it out, not sure what he did to the actual service tap. Basically I don't want to kill myself or my family. I did look at guides last time this happened but bollocksed it just in case.

[Lewis]

I had no heating for two and a half years in Norwich, so I just removed myself from the gas bill (the oven and shower were electric) and froze to death.

[Magic]

I've got a right filthy bit of self-schadenfreude as I'm saving on the gas bill and nobody can complain I'm being a tightfisted cunt. :drool:

I might actually get it fixed and still claim it's broken.

[igor_balis]

I spent about 6 months with a broken boiler in my student flat in Liverpool because whenever we complained to our old Ghanaian landlady she would come round and accuse us of fucking it up by "pressing the wrong button". The few occasions we convinced her it was broken she'd send the 'plumber' round, a bloke about 30 years younger than her with suspiciously similar skin tone, accent and facial features, who'd just press a couple of buttons and say 'that should be alright now'.

I remember trying to wash my hair in the sink by refilling it with hot water from the kettle whilst coming up from the accidentally large dose of MD i'd taken to "get the evening going", feeling both existential bliss and horror at the ridiculousness of the situation.

[Magic]

I spent about 6 months with a broken boiler in my student flat in Liverpool because whenever we complained to our old Ghanaian landlady she would come round and accuse us of fucking it up by "pressing the wrong button". The few occasions we convinced her it was broken she'd send the 'plumber' round, a bloke about 30 years younger than her with suspiciously similar skin tone, accent and facial features, who'd just press a couple of buttons and say 'that should be alright now'.

I remember trying to wash my hair in the sink by refilling it with hot water from the kettle whilst coming up from the accidentally large dose of MD i'd taken to "get the evening going", feeling both existential bliss and horror at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Fond memories. Look how far you've come from then though.

Oh wait...

[igor_balis]

:\

[Lewis]

I've got a right filthy bit of self-schadenfreude as I'm saving on the gas bill and nobody can complain I'm being a tightfisted cunt. :drool:

I might actually get it fixed and still claim it's broken.

I must have saved hundreds the way those foreign dickheads thrashed the heating for nine months of the year.


Fond memories. Look how far you've come from then though.

Oh wait...

:lol:

[igor_balis]

Hey my boiler is never broken now because I live at my mum's house and she wouldn't put up with that shit. So 1-0 to me dickheads.

[Lewis]

Same. :cool:

[John]

Washing your hair in the sink immediately after filling up on MDMA sounds like an excellent way to drown.

[Magic]

Was it boiling water Igor? Is that why you've grown that ginger beard? To cover up massive facial burns?

[igor_balis]

nah man. I distinctly remember filling the kettle about 10 times but I also remember the sink being barely half full and lukewarm. i'm guessing it is just my drug-addled memory, and I really just spent that time gurning and pissing off my flatmate by putting on 3AM Eternal by The KLF on loop.

[Magic]

I'm being a cunt again, just ignore me.

[igor_balis]

aw don't worry MJ babez I enjoy the bantz xx

[Magic]

It wasn't banter though, it was just rude. Downright rude. And in no way funny. This was a key moment and I've failed, badly. I shall make it up to you.

p.s I'm also failing terribly at my vision and my key moments in RL too. :eyemouth:

[Lewis]

At least something can still be relied upon to boil properly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Time for a rant lads.

Dad's last wife is a money grabbing cunt and her daughter is a twat.

Left home at 7:30 today to get to East London for mediation and got back in at 2:35.

Her daughter wanted an equal share with all of us, the biological kids, despite my Dad hating her. We lolled her out of the room saying fuck off before she claimed that she's just started Uni (she's thick as shit and has no qualifications so how the fuck?) and has social anxiety before I turned on her having previously bit my tongue.

The bitch cunt wanted everything including taking shit from her own kids (turns out she didn't dispute me getting the life insurance but her own fucking daughter) plus even more from us. Sorted it all out late on after solicitor made a final take it or we walk deal and the bitch cunt accepted it.

She's taken half of the main house away from her own son (their solicitors spoke for about 6 hours, how do you take shit from your own kids?) plus shafted more. In the end she's, at the age of 41, walked away with about £1.3m, £50k a year in income plus she gets to keep the rental income she took away from us that she shouldn't have taken.

I'll be ending up with roughly £88k (plus £16k or so from life insurance) or so but not until the end of February or March because of what we've done to get out of paying IHT.

What a shit day all in all.

On the plus side our solicitor was hot as fuck and she kept making eye contact with me, but she probably thought I was slow and trying to communicate slowly with me.

[Lewis]

How come he never sorted all of this out, and how many of you are there?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How come he never sorted all of this out, and how many of you are there?

He had a will but it was contested and ripped apart.

He left wife and our little brother the main house 50/50, all bank accounts to wife and then there was 3 flats in Hatfield/Welham Green as well as a big flat system in Hampstead which was originally left to 5 of us.

It was originally contested because my sister with downs syndrome wasn't included because my Dad thought that she'd had bad advice. The 5 of us said we'd include her as an equal partner but then the wife decided she'd contest the fuck out of everything because she'd get 50% if they had divorced.

So 7 kids and a wife but then step sister piped out and wanted a cut.

Main house is worth £800k or so, 3 flats worth a total of around £450k combined and then the flat system which has been valued at £1.5m but we've only had offers of £1.1m thus far.

It's been so fucking shit.

[Lewis]

It annoys me when I read about wills being contested. Fair enough if they are written five minutes before they die or lose their mind (and are only witnessed by the person who happens to have been included), but otherwise why are people so set on disputing what the dead person wanted?

Seven kids, a stripper wife, and rental income. What a life your old man must have had.

[Pepe]

But no one can take the memories away from you.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It annoys me when I read about wills being contested. Fair enough if they are written five minutes before they die or lose their mind (and are only witnessed by the person who happens to have been included), but otherwise why are people so set on disputing what the dead person wanted?

Seven kids, a stripper wife, and rental income. What a life your old man must have had.
Yeah it's mental, it makes you think wants the point of even writing one up.

The rental income is mental too, £5k a month or so.

Oh and he probably has more kids running around that we don't know about to, it wouldn't shock any of us.

[Magic]

Lol at not including one of your kids because they have Downs.